03x08 - Dennis and the Pee Wee League

[bunniefuu]

-Come on, Dennis.

What do you want?

It was right over.

-Yeah, right over my head.

-OK, ya big baby, I'll

toss you a real easy one.

-Oh!

Good grief.

-Hey, nice catch, Mr. Wilson.

-You're out, Dennis.

-Out?

That was a home run.

-Nah, you're out.

-He was not.

Nobody tagged him.

-You're out.

The ball was caught.

Wasn't it, Mr. Wilson?

Wasn't he out?

-You're all out.

In fact, if you're

not out in seconds,

it'll be my turn at bat!

Now, scoot!

[theme music]

-Tell me, Mrs. Wilson, are

you gonna throw junk out?

-Yes, Dennis.

Why?

-I collect it.

Mom says I got the

biggest collection of junk

in the whole neighborhood.

-All right, you can

browse through the trash

when it reaches the dump

like the other collectors.

I don't want it all-- oh.

Oh, Martha, you're not thinking

of throwing these things out,

are you?

-Now, you never go near them.

They've been collecting

dust in the attic for years.

-I know, but they're my

old baseball mementos.

-Golly, Mrs. Wilson, are

you gonna throw this out?

It's a picture of a

real baseball player.

"George 'Rabbit' Wilson."

Jeepers, Mr. Wilson, it's you.

It says so right here, look.

-That's right, Dennis.

It's me.

-It's "I," dear.

-Oh, it can't be

you, Mrs. Wilson.

This guy has a mustache.

-Ho ho ho.

-Afternoon, Mrs.

Wilson, Mr. Wilson.

I hope I haven't

kept you waiting.

-Hi there, Buzz.

-Jeepers, Buzz.

I'm glad you didn't get

here sooner, 'cause then

I wouldn't have seen

all this swell junk.

Look.

-Well, I've got my

glasses, Dennis.

Uh, what is it?

A walrus?

-A walrus?

-That's not a walrus, Buzz.

That's Mr. Wilson when

he was a baseball player.

-No offense

intended, Mr. Wilson.

I, I just don't see

as good as I used to.

So you were a baseball player?

-Well, for a while

in my youth, yes.

Class double A, semi pro.

-Well, what do you know?

-Come along, Buzz.

There's more junk in the house.

-Boy, that sure is a swell

picture of you, Mr. Wilson.

Can I have it?

-Well, I don't know, Dennis.

I, uh--

-It sure would

give me inspiration

during the baseball season.

I'd hang it up in my

room and I'd see it just

before I went to

sleep and as soon

as I woke up in the morning.

-You're a very nice boy.

All right, Dennis, it's yours.

-Oh boy!

Wait 'til I show Tommy!

Wait 'til I show Dad!

-Yeah, it's just our luck,

Krandall ducking the job

and moving out of town.

-Yeah.

Well, if you ask me,

that's why he moved.

-Now boys, each of

us has organized

and will manage his

own team, but we

need a president

for the whole league

to handle last minute details.

And as chairman, I hereby call

for nominations from the floor.

-Can I nominate?

I'm on the floor.

-Dennis, what are

you doing down there?

Go out and see if you can help

Mom with the cake and coffee.

-But I know who would make a

swell president for you, Dad.

-Dennis, you'll have

to stop bothering us.

-Hold on a minute, Mitchell.

We haven't come up

with anybody yet.

Uh, who'd you have

in mind, Dennis?

-Good ol' Mr. Wilson.

-Can't you get your kid

to stop bothering us?

We need somebody who knows

the difference between a,

a home run a home loan.

-Mr. Wilson knows

everything about baseball.

He was a famous

professional player

and his team won the pennant.

-Wilson, a professional

baseball player?

-Now, Dennis--

-Sure he was.

I'll show you.

-Hey, Brady, I think

we got a live one.

-Now wait a minute.

We can't ask Mr.

Wilson to do this.

He doesn't have any kids

in the pee wee league.

Besides, he's retired.

He's, he's--

-Available.

Get him over here, Mitchell.

-Oh, now that isn't fair.

This, this job is nothing

but a lot of headaches.

-Look, what's the

harm in asking Wilson?

We can't make him take the job.

We'll just, uh, put it to him,

honest and straightforward.

-And when this little nipper

here showed us your picture

we all decided to put it to

you, honest and straightforward.

Mr. Wilson, it would

be a great honor

to have you as the president

of the pee wee league.

-Yes, it certainly would.

-Absolutely, Mr. Wilson.

That's the truth.

-To be quite honest, Mr. Wilson,

it does mean some hard work.

-Well, I just finished helping

Mrs. Wilson with the spring

cleaning and-- well,

frankly, gentlemen,

I wanted to do

nothing for a while

but just sit in my easy chair.

-Jeepers.

As president, won't Mr. Wilson

have his own easy chair?

-Why, sure.

And what better

way to relax than

by whiling away your time

in the great outdoors.

Besides, it's mostly

an honorary position.

-Boy, I bet Mr. Krinkie would

put a big story about you

in the paper.

-That's a splendid idea, Dennis.

I'll call him tonight.

Such unselfish civic mindedness

should not go unheralded.

-We would appreciate it,

Mr. Wilson, if, if you think

you should.

-Shucks, I-- I don't

know what to say.

-That's easy, Mr. Wilson.

Just say yes.

-Well, by golly, yes.

-Ha ha ha!

And now, Mr. Wilson, it's with

a great deal of relief-- uh,

pleasure-- that I present

you with this whistle,

a symbol of your office.

[applause]

[whistle]

-So, that's about the

size of it, Wilson.

Just a few last minute

details to be cleaned up

before our season gets underway.

-A few last minute details?

Brady, what is this?

Some kind of practical

joke or something?

Just listen to this

list I've written.

"Rocks and weeds have to

be cleared from the field.

Benches have to be

repaired and painted.

The equipment and uniforms

have to be distributed.

Umpires and score keepers have

to be recruited and organi--"

well, it just makes me

tired reading this list.

Brady, you don't want a

pee wee league president.

You want a construction g*ng.

-Just a minute, Wilson.

We didn't force you

to take this job.

-Well, you can't force

me to keep it either.

Here, you can take back your

so-called honorary position

and your, your so-called

symbol of office and you can--

[car horn]

-Mr. Wilson!

Wait 'til you see the swell

story about you in the paper!

They even got your

picture on the front page!

-Oh, for Heaven's sake.

-"Like the heroic boy of

Flanders who stuck his finger

in the d*ke to save his town

from a flood, so our own Mr.

George Wilson stepped

into the shoes of R.C.

Krandall to save the pee wee

league from striking out.

Faced with a problem of--"

-All right, Dennis, stop.

That enough.

-But there's lots more.

-Well, you can't

back out now, Wilson.

After that story, it'd

make you the laughing

stock of the whole town.

-All right, Brady, all right.

I know when I'm licked.

-Ah, nice write-up in

the paper, Mr. Wilson.

You must be pleased.

-Well, no, not pleased

exactly, Mitchell.

A little sadder and perhaps

wiser, but not pleased.

-Well, Mr. President,

I, uh, showed you

where the pick and shovel

and the wheelbarrow are kept.

Let's get cracking.

Uh, better clear the rocks

off the field first, huh?

-Don't you worry, Mr. Wilson.

When I'm not

practicing, I'll help

you pile up rocks and things.

-Oh joy.

Ah!

Well, thank goodness

that's the last of those.

Mr. Wilson, have a

cold one on the house.

-Oh, good, good, Alice.

-Honestly, I don't know what

the pee wee league would

have done without

you this past week.

-Oh, well, thank you.

I could certainly

use one of these.

[boys yelling]

-Ah, nothing like taking

it easy, eh, Wilson?

-Taking it easy?

Why, Brady, this is

first break I've taken.

-Look, Wilson, there's a couple

of things you overlooked.

You'll have to get

some new base pads.

And when you distributed

the uniforms,

you goofed on my manager's cap.

It's too small.

-Oh no, the cap's

not too small, Brady.

Your head's just too big.

HENRY (OFFSCREEN):

(HOARSELY) Hi, fellas.

-Well, what's the

matter, Mitchell, boy?

A little out of condition?

Well, I guess managing separates

the men from the boys, eh?

-We've finished practice.

You can have the field, Brady.

-Oh, the Tigers don't need

much practice, Mitchell.

When I found out our

lead-off game tomorrow

is with your Bears I've

been taking it kind of easy.

-Are you sure you're

all right, dear?

You look terrible.

-Well, aside from being

a little hoarse and,

and being sore

all over and being

a little winded and

tired, I'm fine, I guess.

-I think you should go

home and take a hot shower.

-OK dear, I will.

-Oh, that Brady.

Mitchell, I just hope your

team beats the socks off him

tomorrow.

-Well, he's got a strong

team, but I think we can.

Mr. Wilson, I'm

sorry I haven't been

able to help you around here.

I, I know you've had a lot

of thankless work to be done.

-Oh, that's all right, Mitchell.

After today, I'll be

back in my easy chair.

And believe me, it'll take

a derrick to get me out.

-Well, if it were

just laryngitis

it wouldn't be so

bad, but you have

a degree temperature, Henry.

-(HOARSELY) I guess we'll

just have to forfeit the game.

-Oh, and after all my hard work.

Well, I guess that's the only

thing you can do, Mitchell.

-Jeepers, you mean give

up without even trying?

-(HOARSELY) I'm afraid so, son.

Team's gotta have a manager.

It's one of the league

rules, you know that.

Unless Mr. Wilson would-- no,

that'd be asking too much.

-Uh, well, you'll be

up in a day or so.

Take good care of him, Alice.

I'll just run along.

-I sure am disappointed, Dad.

Mr. Wilson!

Mr. Wilson!

-Huh?

What is it, Dennis?

-Won't you manage our team for

just this one game, please?

-No, Dennis, I will not.

-Mr. Wilson!

-Oh, what are you doing here?

-Your wife told me

I'd fine you here.

Look, Wilson, can't

you do anything right?

First you give me a

hat that's too small,

then you give me

one that's too big.

Now how am I supposed

to manage a team today

in this contraption?

-Oh, relax, Brady.

The game has been called

on account of laryngitis.

Henry Mitchell's sick.

-Well, that's one way to weasel

out of getting clobbered.

-Won't you change your mind and

manage our team just this once,

Mr. Wilson?

Look, I even wore your

picture for good luck.

-Oh ho ho!

Wilson manage the team?

Oh ho ho, now I've

heard everything.

Hoo hoo hoo.

-And just what is so

funny about that, Brady?

-Mr. Wilson was a

real baseball player.

-Yeah?

Then I'm a bullfighter.

-Oh, is that so?

Well, it just so happens

the proof is right here.

This happens to be the

official souvenir picture each

and every member of the Herkimer

County pennant-winning team

had taken.

-"Pennant-winning team."

Fess up, fella.

You were just dressed up for

a masquerade, weren't you?

-A masquerade?

A masquerade?

Dennis, if your

offer is still open,

I'll be honored to manage

the Bears today for you.

-Ho ho, this is too much.

-You will?

Oh boy!

Hey mom, hey dad!

-Get him!

Come on, get him good!

-Ball two!

High!

Strike three!

[boys cheering]

-Howdy, Mrs. Mitchell.

-Oh, hello, Buzz.

Another load of junk?

-Yeah, I'm on my

way to the dump.

I thought I'd like to stop

buy and catch a little bit

of the game, if

it isn't too late.

-I'm afraid it is

for the Bears, Buzz.

It's the top of the

sixth and the Tigers

are leading five to nothing.

[boys cheering]

-Correction, please.

My Tigers are leading

six to nothing

and it's the last inning.

-That's the way to go

in there, Billy boy.

You want to forfeit

the game, Wilson?

No sense in

prolonging the agony.

-The game's not over

'til the last out

of the last inning, Brady.

Come on now, Dennis.

Bear down!

Remember, Bears, two away!

-Ball one.

-Stay alive, Billy.

You got 'em?

Great, this'll really fix 'em.

-Come on, Dennis.

Just one more is all we need.

[cheering]

-Good work, fellas, good work.

Good work, Tommy.

-OK, men, when we go

out there this time,

we're gonna use a

little psychology.

Now I've got one

for each of you.

We're gonna play a

little joke on Wilson.

-Now let's see.

Uh, Tommy's up first,

Dennis, you're on deck,

and Herbie's in the hole.

-Oh, Mr. Wilson!

Look!

It's a masquerade, Wilson!

Just wanted to make

you feel at home.

Ha ha ha!

-Come on, Bears.

Now let's get some runs.

-Get out there, g*ng!

Come on!

Ha ha!

[cheering]

-Well done!

You did it!

Good for you.

-Oh boy, it's six to

one and it's my turn.

-That's right,

Dennis, that's right.

You keep your eye on me now

and remember those signals.

-Right!

[cheering]

[cheering]

-Throw it in!

-Safe!

[cheering]

-Hey, Mr. Wilson, Mr. Wilson!

I made it!

I made a home run!

-You certainly did.

-Boy, what a great

signal that was.

-Signal?

-Your handkerchief.

When you took it out, I knew

that was the steal sign.

Boy, you're the

swellest manager ever.

-All right now, Herbie.

In this inning, everybody hits.

Get in there.

[cheering]

-You're out!

[cheering]

-Strike one!

Strike two!

-Strike two.

UMPIRE (OFFSCREEN):

Strike three!

You're out!

[boys cheering]

-He struck out.

It looks like our

Tigers are going

to b*at your Bears,

Mrs. Mitchell.

-Oh, is that so, Mrs. Brady?

-OK, Wilson, you're

down to your last out.

Want to quit?

-The Bears never quit!

Who's next?

-I am, Mr. Wilson, I am.

-Oh.

Oh, fine, fine.

Now Newton, when you get up to

that plate, hit me a home run.

-Oh boy!

-Oh, Newton!

Newton, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait.

Here, this may help.

-Aw, come on.

Wilson, have a heart.

Don't bring up your

power hitter now.

-Hey, Dennis, getting

ready to go home?

I told you your team couldn't

hit the side of a barn.

-Strike one.

-Boy, if that ball was Johnny

Brady's nose, we could hit it.

-Dennis, that's it, that's it.

Uh, umpire!

Time out!

Stop the game!

Newton, come here.

I want to talk to you.

-Time.

-Come here, Newton.

Oh, and all you other Bears.

Come on, gather around me.

Now, we're down to

our last strike.

It's time for drastic measures.

Now, I want you to tell

me the one thing that

makes you madder than anything.

Newton?

-Cello lessons.

-Uh, Chuck?

-My teacher, Miss Perkins.

-Stevie?

-Dancing and girls.

-That's the spirit.

Now, when you get

up to home plate,

I want you to think that the

ball is the one thing that

makes you madder than

anything and it's

your one chance

to give it a sock.

OK?

-(IN UNISON) Yeah!

-Now get out there.

All right, fellas,

back in the dugout now.

All right, come on now.

Remember, Newton--

cello lessons!

Cello!

Cello!

Cello!

Cello!

Cello!

[cheering]

-All right now, Stevie.

Remember, dancing with girls.

Girls!

Go on now, remember.

TIGERS PLAYER

(OFFSCREEN): Get him!

Come on, get him good.

-Dancing!

Girls!

Girls!

Dancing!

Girls!

[cheering]

-What's he doing

over there, anyway?

-OK, Chuck.

Now you get in there and

remember Miss Perkins.

Remember.

Go on.

Teacher, teacher!

Teacher!

Perkins!

[cheering]

-Washing!

Washing!

Washing!

[cheering]

-Hee hee!

[cheering]

-Good going, Mr. Wilson.

Nice going.

-I'm protesting

the game, Wilson.

-Protesting?

On what grounds?

-Why, uh, unfair

signals, that's why.

I never saw or heard

anything like 'em.

Where'd you get 'em anyway?

-At a masquerade, Brady.

-Sure it's all right, Buzz?

-Sure.

I was just hauling

it out to the dump.

-Oh boy!

-I thought you were

wonderful, boys.

-Hey, Mr. Wilson.

-Dennis, where on

earth did you get that?

-From Buzz's junk trunk.

It's for you, Mr. Wilson.

-For me?

Whatever for, Dennis?

To sit in while you

manage the Bears.

-Oh no, Dennis.

-Well, jeepers, Mr. Wilson.

You said you always wanted

to belong to the easy chair

league, and until Dad

gets well and comes back,

you can manage the Bears

from your own easy chair.

-Well, all right, Dennis.

All right.

Ah, it feels good.

That's a good idea.

-And I certainly want to

thank you, Mr. Wilson,

for coming to my rescue

the last few days.

-Well, you sound all right.

Are you sure you

feel well again?

-Oh, Henry's fine now, thanks

to pills and about quarts

of orange juice.

Oh, and you, of

course, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh.

-Hey, Mr. Wilson, Mr.

Krinkie's coming up the walk.

He says he wants to talk to you.

-Krinkie?

Now what could he be wanting?

-Maybe he wants to

put in his paper

the swell way you

managed the Bears.

-Anybody home?

-Oh, hello, Krinkie.

Yes, come on in.

-Uh, morning, George.

-Morning, Mrs. Wilson.

-Good morning, Mr. Krinkie.

-Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell.

-Mr. Krinkie.

-I've got to hand

it to you, George,

you're a remarkable man.

-Well, it's remarkable

I'm still alive after what

I've been through.

-Why, what you've done

in pee wee baseball

has created such a stir, George,

that my paper has decided

to sponsor a pee

wee football league.

-Well, that's your

problem, Krinkie.

-Well, the baseball

season'll soon be over

and, well, everything

falls right into line.

-What falls into line?

-You, George.

-Oh, now, Krinkie, if

you think for one--

-Now, George, we

need a good president

and you've had experience.

-Jeepers, that's swell!

You were a football player

too, huh, Mr. Wilson?

-Now look here, Krinkie.

I'll do nothing of the sort.

Now you can take your

pee wee football--

-It's too late.

I took the liberty of putting

your picture in the paper

this morning.

-My picture?

"Wilson Drafted?"

Why, this is fantastic.

-Jeepers, that's

great, Mr. Wilson!

I'm gonna sign up for pee

wee football right today!

-Now, don't you worry, George.

It's merely an

honorary position.

If you'll meet me at the

stadium tomorrow morning--

it's a little overgrown,

a few little weeds

and bushes to pick up

and stuff like that.

-Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

Great Scott!

[theme music]