[theme music]
-Hey, Ma.
-Yes, dear?
-You wouldn't let me climb out
my bedroom window, would you?
-I certainly would not.
-Hey, Dad.
You'd get pretty mad if I tried
to climb out my bedroom window.
Wouldn't you?
-I wouldn't try it if
I were you, young man.
-Jeepers.
That's swell.
Now all I've got to do is
tell her the same thing.
-Tell who the same thing?
-That dumb old Margaret.
She's on her way over here
with a ladder to elope with me.
[music playing]
[theme music]
-Oh Mrs. Wilson,
that sounds like fun.
-Now remember.
This evening at eight.
And don't you dare breathe
a word of this to George.
-Scout's honor.
[chuckles]
-You sure I can't fix
something and bring it along?
-No thanks, Alice.
It's just a small
surprise party.
-Anybody home?
-Hello, dear.
-Hi, Mr. Wilson.
-Hello.
Alice, Mitchell.
I knew I'd find
you here, Martha.
-Happy birthday, Mr. Wilson.
-Oh that goes for me too.
-Now Martha.
You shouldn't have
told them. [chuckles]
-George, is that little
matter all tended to?
-Oh it is, Martha.
Why there was nothing to it.
-Mr. Wilson, don't
tell me you've
been home baking your
own birthday cake.
-[chuckles] Hardly.
No as a matter of fact I've
been over at my lawyer's
setting up a little
something for Dennis.
-For Dennis?
-I decided to leave him my,
my gold watch in my will.
-Well, my goodness.
-Why Mr. Wilson.
You shouldn't have done that.
-Now Henry, it's
something George
has been meaning to
do for a long time.
-Besides I feel I owe
Dennis a debt of gratitude
for all the help he's
been to me lately.
-Dennis?
What has he done?
-He hasn't bothered
me for two whole days.
-Nevertheless, I don't
think you should have.
-Oh now nonsense, Mitchell.
It's all settled.
-Oh, hi Mr. Wilson!
Hi Mrs. Wilson!
-Hello there, Dennis!
-Hey, Mom.
Do you know where
my-- Never mind.
I know now.
Oh, uh, uh, Dennis.
-Yes, Mr. Wilson?
--[clears throat] Have
you ever taken a real
good look at my gold watch?
-I sure have and it's a beauty!
-[chuckles] Oh you like it, huh?
Uh, how would you
like to own it?
-Oh boy!
Well, that depends.
-Oh?
On what?
-On what you want
to trade me for it.
-Dennis, just this morning I
left you this watch in my will.
-Oh boy!
Jeepers!
Wowee!
What's a will, Dad?
Well son, a will is a legal
document making that watch
yours after Mr. Wilson--
well, after Mr. Wilson, uh--
-Your father is trying to
say that the watch goes
to you after I die, Dennis.
-Jeepers.
Aren't you feeling
well, Mr. Wilson?
-Dennis, I feel wonderful.
In fact if I felt any
better, I'd be worried.
-Gee that's swell.
'Cause I don't
mind waiting for the watch.
Honest I don't.
-Oh you don't?
Well now, Dennis, that's
a real load off my mind.
-See you later!
-Where are you
off to, young man?
-To tell the kids
about the swell
watch I'm going to get after
Mr. Wilson does you know what.
-Oh good grief! [laughs]
-[singing]
-Hi Mr. Wilson!
-Uh.
Oh ha.
Hello boys.
-Is this really your
birthday, Mr. Wilson?
--[chuckles] That's
right, Dennis.
-Happy birthday, Mr. Wilson.
--[chuckles] Well,
thank you, boys.
-How old are you, Mr. Wilson?
-Well to tell you the truth,
Dennis, I've stopped counting.
-Boy I'd have trouble
counting that high too.
-(WHISPERS) Ask him
if we can see it.
-OK.
Mr. Wilson?
Would you mind showing
Tommy and Chuck our watch?
-Our watch?
Oh.
Oh all right.
-Wow.
Yep, it's a real
live watch all right.
It's really solid gold?
-It is.
-And it's all paid for?
Yes it's all paid for.
Now, uh, do you have
any other questions?
-I still don't
understand why he's
going to give it
to you for nothing.
-Because by the time I get it,
he won't be needing it anymore.
-Not where he's going.
-I'm not going to that
watch for a long time.
Mr. Wilson's got
plenty of years left.
Huh Mr. Wilson?
-Well I certainly
hope so, Dennis.
-You see there?
But maybe you better
show me how to wind it.
Just in case.
-Now look, Dennis.
Will you please take
your little friends--
-You think you'll get it in
maybe two or three years?
-Way longer than that, Tommy.
Mr. Wilson's going to
live to be plenty old.
-If you ask me he's
plenty old already.
-Well nobody asked you, Chuck.
Now look, boys.
If you want to
stay here you will
have to be quiet so I can
concentrate on my gardening.
-Those are sure pretty
flowers, Mr. Wilson.
-Oh.
Well, thank you, Tommy.
-They sure would make
somebody a swell funeral.
-All right.
All right!
The wake is over.
-[yells] Oh, oh.
-Jeepers!
What's the matter, Mr. Wilson?
-Oh it's nothing, nothing.
It's just a little
crick in my back.
-Oh oh.
-What do you mean oh oh?
-Nothing.
Just oh oh.
-Would you like us Cub Scouts
to make a carry with our arms
and take you into the
house, Mr. Wilson?
No thank you, Dennis.
That won't be necessary.
Oh!
-Not only are you
my best friend,
but I don't even have
a watch pocket yet.
-Oh Martha!
[music playing]
-[moans] Oh.
-How's your back, dear?
-Huh?
Oh.
Oh it's not much better, Martha.
Thank you. [moans]
-What is it, dear?
-Oh!
Suddenly I've got
a pain in my leg.
-My gracious.
How strange.
-Well, the sad fact
is I guess I just
hate to admit I'm getting old.
-Getting old?
George Wilson, you're
in the prime of life.
-Aw do you really
think so, honey bunch?
-Of course I do, dear.
You feel this way because
it's your birthday
and you have a little backache.
-Aw OK.
-Now you lie down
here and relax.
-(MOANING) All right.
-While I go tend to my baking.
-(MOANING) All right, my dear.
Oh!
You're such a comfort
to me, Martha.
Bless you.
[noisily sighs]
-Hey Mr. Wilson!
-(STARTLED) Dah!
Oh good grief!
-Happy birthday, Mr. Wilson.
-Oh, Dennis, you already
wished me happy birthday.
-Jeepers!
The swellest part
about birthdays
is that they last all day long.
-[sighs]
-Here.
-What's this?
A gift certificate for
a nervous breakdown?
"Don't run upstairs.
Don't stand in front of open
windows in your undershorts.
Don't run down stairs.
Don't get stomach aches
from too many jelly beans.
Don't get all excited and mad
at a swell little kid like me."
Oh, Dennis.
What is all this?
-A list I made up to
help you live longer.
-[sighs] Uh enough of this.
-And look at all the swell stuff
I found in our medicine chest.
Cough medicine.
Vitamin pills.
-Dennis.
-Stuff to rub on your chest.
Stuff to shove up your nose.
And stuff to--
-Dennis!
Look, would you mind taking
your portable hospital
and please go home?
-Well, OK.
Do you want me to take
this book along too?
-What book?
-This book about being sick.
Mom bought it so she can
tell when I'm faking.
-"Your Health and
How to Keep It."
-It's a swell book.
Why I bet it even tells about
that twitch in your left eye.
-Why what are you
talking about, Dennis?
What twitch?
I don't have a twitch.
-Sure you do.
When you get excited.
Like now.
-Huh?
-You see there?
-Great Scott.
-Twitches.
Twitches.
How do you spell
twitches, Mr. Wilson?
-Uh, t- w- i- d-- Oh, Dennis.
-Jeepers, Mr. Wilson.
There's a whole chapter
in here just for you.
-"Signs of Advancing Age.
First look at your tongue.
Is it coated?"
Oh of all the ridiculous--
-Looks kind of funny
to me all right.
-Yeah it does look a
little odd to me too.
"Your eyes, are they bloodshot?"
-Does that mean all
those little red lines
that cross each other?
-Well I've been reading a
little too much lately, I guess.
-What else does the book
say about you, Mr. Wilson?
-"Last but not least, are
you bothered by shortness
of breath, nagging
little aches and pains?
Do you have trouble
getting up in the morning?
If these are your
symptoms, my friend,
it may be later than you think."
-Does it say anything
about twitches Mr. Wilson?
Where you going, Mr. Wilson?
-Uh I'm going upstairs and
lie down for a while, Dennis.
If I can make it.
-That's all right.
I got to get you a
birthday present anyway.
Hey, Mr. Wilson?
If you roll over
on your stomach,
make sure you don't cr*ck
the crystal on our watch.
-Later than you think.
[music playing]
-Henry, did you
remove some bottles
from the medicine chest?
-Not guilty, Your Honor.
-That's peculiar.
-Hey!
What could I buy Mr.
Wilson with $ . ?
-Dennis, did you
take some bottles out
of the medicine chest upstairs?
-Sure.
I took them over to Mr.
Wilson and brought them back.
And here they are.
-Well you march yourself
right upstairs, put them back,
and don't you ever
take them out again.
-Yes, Mom.
-To Mr. Wilson's?
-Whatever for?
-Because Mr. Wilson's
a friend of mine.
And I want him to live longer
so we can use our watch.
-I know you meant well, son.
But you know you're not
allowed to take things
out the medicine chest.
-Yes, sir.
-Dennis, I hope
you're not bothering
Mr. Wilson about that watch.
-Heck, no!
I haven't even
asked him what time
it is for over a whole hour.
Boy, what can I buy Mr.
Wilson for his birthday?
Gee, you can't get much
for big people with $ . .
Can you?
-Well it isn't the cost of
the gift that counts, son.
It's the thought behind it.
-Do you mean like Mr. Wilson
leaving me a swell gold
watch when it isn't
even my birthday yet?
-That's an excellent example.
-Oh boy!
Thanks, Dad!
You just gave me the
swellest idea yet!
[music playing]
Mr. Phillips.
-Yes, Ms. Woods?
-There's a Mr. Mitchell here
to see you about his will.
-Yes?
Oh well-- Come on in, Henry.
-Hi, Mr. Phillips!
-Oh Dennis!
It's you.
Come on right over
here and sit down.
There you are.
-Thank you, Mr. Phillips.
-Now what can I do for you?
-I'd like to make out my will.
-Of course.
Your will.
-You know enough so you can do
that kind of stuff, don't you?
-Oh, I believe so.
-Good.
Then can I come back and pick
it up later this afternoon?
-Well I don't see why not.
Ms. Woods, will you
take some notes please?
-Certainly, Mr. Phillips.
-I, Dennis Mitchell, being
of sound mind et cetera,
et cetera--
-What are those et cetera things
you're putting in my will?
-Just legal terms.
-Oh.
OK.
You can leave them in then.
-Thanks.
Now, uh, what worldly
goods do you have
and to whom do you
wish to leave them?
-Well, most of my real valuable
stuff is here in my wagon.
And I'd like to leave it
all to good old Mr. Wilson.
-All to George Wilson?
What about your
mother and father?
-I'll leave everything
to them in my next will.
-Well that sounds like
a sensible arrangement.
First, I have baseball
cards all in perfect condition.
-Got that, Ms. Woods?
- baseball cards
in perfect condition.
- for the National League
and for the American League.
-Put that down.
-And then there's my piggy
bank with $ . in it.
-Mr. Phillips, I still
have the McCullum
contract to get out and it's--
-Ms. Woods, a piggy
bank with $ . in it.
-And then there's Horace,
Mike, Ethel, and Betsy.
-Who?
-They're my four goldfish.
-Oh.
They're at home swimming.
-Horace, Mike, Ethel, and Betsy.
-Betsy used to have
a little brother.
But she ate him.
-Aw too bad.
But that is life.
Now is that all?
-Heck no.
Here's a swell spy ring
with a secret compartment.
-Oh.
Dennis, what do you have in
the shoe box with the holes
punched in top?
-Oh.
This is my frog.
Sam.
-Oh!
-Jeepers.
Sam won't hurt you.
He's just trying to be friendly.
-Take it down, Ms. Woods.
And one friendly frog named Sam.
-Jeepers!
Ms. Woods sure is
a good secretary.
She can write standing
up on her chair.
[music playing]
-Well, George.
I've examined every blessed part
of you accept your fingernails.
And there's not a thing wrong.
-Now don't try to fool me, Doc.
I know.
-Know what?
-That I'm finally beginning to
fall apart like a worn out car.
Or an old pocket watch.
-All right, enough.
The next time you
call me, George, I
hope you'll be
sick for a change.
-Sick for a change?
Why you old quack!
I must have been out
of my head with fever
to have called you
in the first place.
-George?
-Yes, Doc?
-There's just one
little thing that I,
I think you should thoroughly
examined by a specialist
as soon as possible.
-Oh.
Yes, Doc?
What's that?
-Your head!
[music playing]
-Hey, Mr. Wilson!
-Mr. Wilson's upstairs
lying down, dear.
-Oh.
Would you tell him I haven't
got his birthday present yet?
But I'm picking it up later
so not to worry about it.
-Of course I will, dear.
-Martha?
-Yes, Doctor?
-Well it's just as I thought.
There's nothing wrong with that
darn fool husband of yours.
Except he's
convinced he's so old
he's falling apart like
the one-horse shay.
-Oh dear.
And I've planned such a nice
birthday surprise party for him
this evening.
-Best thing in
the world for him.
Have it by all means.
But only on one condition.
-What's that, Doctor?
-If you save me
a great big piece
of that cake your
baking. [chuckles]
-Oh right. [chuckles]
-I'll be off, Martha.
Bye-bye.
-Good bye.
[music playing]
-Hey, Dad.
Guess what?
The doctor says poor old
Mr. Wilson's lying down
because he thinks
he's getting old.
-Well that's funny.
He didn't seem worried
about it this morning.
-Maybe he was younger then.
-[laughs] Yes.
-Jeepers.
How can you tell whether you're
pulling out plants or weeds?
-Well that's very simple, son.
If your mother screams when
she sees them lying here,
they're plants.
-Dad?
Do you think Mr. Wilson
really is getting old?
-Well, Dennis,
from the time we're
born we're all getting older.
And, but if you mean do I
think Mr. Wilson is old?
Of course not.
Why look at Mrs. Weatherby.
She square-dances.
And Mr. Potter bowls
a couple times a week.
And they must be at least
years older than Mr. Wilson.
-Good old Mr. Wilson isn't
really old at all, is he?
-No.
He just feels old.
-Jeepers!
Now all we got to do is
make him feel young again.
Hey, what does make a
person feel young again?
--[laughs] That's
a good question.
I think I always feel younger
when I'm around older people.
-Jeepers.
Thanks, Dad.
See you later.
-Where are you
off to, young man?
To ask Mrs. Wilson if I can
invite a couple of friends
to Mr. Wilson's birthday party.
[music playing]
-Henry-- [screams]
[music playing]
-Now If you'll just all be
quiet I'll turn out the lights
and call George.
George?
-Coming, Martha.
Although I don't see why I can't
spend the few remaining days
I have left being
comfortable in my own bed.
-It's just plain silly to
spend your birthday in bed.
-I don't, Martha.
When you reach my
age, every time
you go up and down those
stairs brings the grim reaper
just that much closer.
-Yes, dear.
Now let's spend a nice
quiet evening together
in the living room.
-You know, Martha.
You've been a loyal,
comforting companion to me
through my declining years.
[sighs]
-Turn on the light, dear.
-All right.
-Happy birthday!
-Surprise!
[chattering]
-"For he's a jolly good fellow!
For he's a jolly good fellow!
For he's a jolly good fellow
which nobody can deny!"
[applause and cheers]
-Happy birthday, dear.
-Oh well, thank you.
Oh.
Well you'll have
to excuse me now.
I'm feeling rather weak.
-But, why you can't
sit down there.
-Oh?
Why not?
-Well because it's
my dance, youngster.
That nice little
blonde boy invited us.
And I mean to make
the most of it.
Come along.
-No, now wait a minute.
I can't dance.
-Oh now don't fret.
I'll teach you here, sonny.
Now you.
-Martha.
Oh!
Oh Mrs. Weatherby,
please wait a minute.
[wails]
-Goodnight!
-Goodnight.
-Had a lovely time.
-Very pleasant.
Thank you for coming.
I had a wonderful time.
-Well goodnight.
We had lovely time.
-Goodnight.
-Oh here's your
cane, Mrs. Weatherby.
-Oh thank you.
Here, Martha.
And if this youngster ever
gets out of hand again,
turn him over your
knee and use this.
-Ah.
Well now that was quite
a party, wasn't it.
-It certainly was.
And we owe the success
of it to Dennis.
-Yes we certainly do.
It was very thoughtful
of him to invite
all those nice elderly people.
-My goodness!
Look at the time.
-Hm?
Why it's almost midnight.
And I'm not even tired.
Why I feel like a
-year-old again.
-And I feel like your
great-grandmother.
-Oh nonsense, Martha.
Martha, let's have
one last dance
before calling it a night.
-All right.
-Oh.
-I'll turn the music on.
-Good.
-May I?
-May I?
[music playing]
[doorbell rings]
-Well now who could
that be at this hour?
-Happy birthday, Mr. Wilson!
-Dennis!
-Dennis, what are you do--
-Young man, why
aren't you in bed?
-You were supposed to bring
my birthday present over
to Mr. Wilson.
But I just found it
on the kitchen table.
-Oh dear.
-What were you doing down
in the kitchen at this hour.
-I heard a suspicious noise.
So I went downstairs
to take a look.
-In the icebox.
-Happy birthday, Mr. Wilson.
-Why, Dennis.
Open it up, Mr. Wilson.
It's my last will and testimony.
-"I, Dennis Mitchell, being of
sound mind do hereby bequeath
to Mr. George Wilson all my
worldly possessions including
my baseball bat, my frog
Sam, my roller skates."
Why, Dennis, I, I
hardly know what to say.
This is about the nicest
present I ever had.
-I would have left
you even more.
But Mr. Phillips charged me
$ . to write the will up.
-Why there it is midnight.
-Why yeah.
Right on the button.
Dennis?
Would you like to
wind our watch?
-Jeepers!
Would I!
-[chuckles] Well now, look.
You have to be careful.
Just turn this thing back
and forth very slowly.
-I'll be real
careful, Mr. Wilson.
This watch has to last us
both a heck of a long time.
-Uh-huh.
-Mr. Wilson?
Yes, Dennis?
Can I ask you kind of
a personal question?
-Why of course you may.
Anything.
-Am I going to get this
swell watch chain too?
-Dennis!
-That's all right.
Yes you are.
You're going to get
them both right now.
-Oh boy!
[theme music]
03x19 - Where There's a Will
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.
Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.