03x25 - Dennis' Documentary Film

[bunniefuu]

-Hey Mom?

Do you know where

my rubber boots are?

-Yes, dear.

They're in the hall closet.

What are you all dressed

up like that for?

Is it raining outside?

-Oh no.

Me and Toddy are playing

like we're on a ship at sea.

I'm the captain and

Toddy's the first mate.

And we're caught in a big storm!

-I see.

It's just a make believe storm.

-Oh no, it's a real storm.

One of the pipes

busted in the basement

and there's water squirting

all over the place!

-Pipes!

Dennis!

Henry, call the plumber!

[theme music]

-Oh, confound it!

Why does he have to

keep harping at me?

-Who, dear?

-Oh, Sergeant Mooney.

Listen to this.

"Dear Mr. Wilson,

you still haven't paid

the $ for that jaywalking

citation you got last week.

If this isn't paid promptly,

an additional penalty

of $ for each day of

delay can be assessed."

Now I resent these

Gestapo tactics!

-Well, you did

jaywalk, didn't you?

-Well, of course I owe them

money and they'll get it.

But I just don't

appreciate being

treated as though I were

a menace to society.

-Smile, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh Dennis, stop that.

I'm in no mood for smiling.

-Don't be cross, George.

Let him take your picture.

-You don't have to smile if

you don't want to, Mr. Wilson.

I only wanted to--

-Oh, all right.

I'll smile.

If you must take my picture,

I want to look natural.

Be sure and get this

side of my face.

It's my best side.

-OK, Mr. Wilson.

-If it turns out well,

I'll take an extra print.

-I don't think it'll turn

out at all, Mr. Wilson.

-Hmm?

-You see, there's no

film in the camera.

-No film?

What's the idea?

-Well, I'm only practicing

for my school project.

It's Dad's camera and he

doesn't want me to waste film.

-Oh.

-What is this school

project of yours, dear?

-It's for our history class.

Miss Perkins wants

us to take pictures

of all the famous stuff

around town-- like the Charter

Oak and the City Hall-- and then

write a composition about them.

-Well, that sounds

very interesting.

-But a picture of

me would be nothing!

-I have an idea.

Wouldn't this be a

fine chance to use

that new movie camera of yours?

-For a school project?

-Real movies?

Jeepers, that would be keen!

-I'm sure Dennis' teacher

would be impressed.

And you'd do a wonderful job.

-Well, the town does have many

historical points of interest.

A record of them would

be quite worthwhile.

-And if I took

her some movies, I

bet Miss Perkins

would give me an A!

-Well, it could be a first

class documentary film.

[laughs] Oh, would your teacher

object to my assistance?

-Oh no!

She said our folks

could help us.

And you're practically my folks.

-Well by golly, I'll do it!

-Oh boy!

That would be swell!

When can we start?

-Oh, the sooner the better.

You know Dennis,

this project of yours

may be uh, quite valuable.

Why, it'll be the first

time the story of our town

has been put on film.

-And if Miss Perkins

gives me an A,

you know that would

be another first time.

Well, see you later!

-[laughing]

-Boy, this certainly is a

nice camera, Mr. Wilson.

-[laughs] It is a beauty.

Well Mitchell, what do

you think of our plan?

-Well, it sounds great to me.

It's certainly a

break for Dennis.

-It's very kind of you

to do this for him.

-Oh.

-Have you used your new

camera much, Mr. Wilson?

-Well no. [clears throat]

Actually this'll

be the first time.

But I know exactly what to do.

I've read the instructions

very carefully.

-Will you and Dad

come with us, Mom?

-Oh honey, we'd

just be in the way.

-Yeah, we don't want to butt in.

-Oh nonsense, Mitchell.

Besides it'll be a perfect

way to spend our Saturday.

And we're going to need

some people for the scenes,

so all of you can be our cast.

Well, it's all settled then.

Now you girls go get fixed up.

And uh, we'll be ready,

as they say in Hollywood,

for lights, camera, action!

-[laughs] I'll go put on a tie.

-Now Martha, have you

recorded all the sh*ts

I've taken so far, dear?

-Yes, George.

Scene one, general

view of the park.

Scene two, all of us

strolling through it.

Scene three, close

up of Alice and me.

Scene four, the Charter Oak.

-Oh, that's fine.

Now uh Dennis,

we're going to write

some descriptive narrative to

go with each of these pictures,

but I want to be sure that

everything is in proper order.

-Boy, you think of everything!

-I, well, I try to!

Now let's move along

to the City Hall.

-Look Mr. Wilson!

-Hmm?

-Let's get a picture of

that little squirrel.

[squirrel chatters]

-Oh, that's a good idea, Dennis.

Animal studies always lend

interest to a picture.

[squirrel chatters]

-Get him quick!

He's going up the tree!

-Yeah, I see him.

I see him, Dennis.

I've, I think I've,

oh, I've got him!

[squirrel chatters]

[splash]

-Oh!

-Mr. Wilson!

[interposing voices]

-Come up here!

Oh, are you OK?

-Sure taking some good pictures

for my project, Mr. Wilson.

-We'd have even

had more, Dennis,

if I hadn't had to waste

time changing my clothes.

Of all the stupid--

oh Martha, dear,

what's our record up to now?

-Well, the latest ones are

City Hall, the public library,

that fine picture of Mr.

Watterson in front of his bank,

and the stockyards.

-Oh good, good.

-Well, here's the mayor's

house, Mr. Wilson.

What kind of a sh*t do

you want to get of it?

-Well, I think I'll get a

nice sh*t of the group of you

right in front of the gate here.

Dennis, you stand there.

Come on over, folks.

That's it, together.

Then I'll get a closer

sh*t of the house later.

All right now, nice big smiles.

That's fine.

-Well, well, Mr.

and Mrs. Mitchell!

Mrs. Wilson!

Dennis.

-Hi, Your Honor.

-Oh, Your Honor.

-Why, Mr. Wilson!

-My goodness, Your Honor.

--[laughs] When I saw

the camera, Mr. Wilson,

my curiosity got

the better of me.

What are you doing?

-Oh, we're compiling a filmed

record of the town's points

of interest for Dennis'

history class, Your Honor.

-It's going to be

a documentary film.

-Now that you're

here, Your Honor,

could we get a sh*t of you?

-Why, I'd, I'd be delighted.

-Oh fine!

Uh, would you make

some brief remark

concerning your

policies, Mr. Mayor?

I'd like to get a close

up of you in action.

-Why, just the thing!

-That's it.

All right, now.

You can go right ahead.

-My friends and

fellow citizens, I

promise never to

falter in my efforts

to bring clean and honest

government to this city.

-Oh, thank you, Your Honor.

-Not at all.

I'm the one who should

thank the good people who

elected me to this office.

-Well, we thought you

were the right man

for the job, Your Honor.

-You may rest

assured, Mr. Mitchell.

I strive hard to be worthy.

I keep my nose to

the grindstone,

my shoulder to the wheel, and

my finger on the public pulse.

-Hey, could we get a

picture of him doing that?

I'd like to see that!

-[laughing]

-Well, we got a good

sh*t of the city jail.

Now let's move along

to the old adobe house.

-Well, George Wilson!

Hey uh, did you get that

love note I sent you?

-Love note?

-Yeah.

-Oh, you mean about that

jaywalking citation.

-Now you're thinking.

-Well Mooney, I meant

to call you about that,

but [laughs] I got involved

in this movie project

and forgot all about it.

-Movie project?

-It's for my history class.

-He's taking pictures of

all the important landmarks

and prominent citizens.

-Prominent citizens, eh?

Well uh, make sure you

don't uh, overlook any.

-Oh, I don't intend to.

Now about that citation, Mooney.

I don't think it's fair to

assess me for delayed payments.

-Well, I just might be

able to speak to the court

and uh, get you out

of it all together.

-Oh!

Well now, I certainly

would appreciate that.

-That is if uh,

everything goes right

for a certain prominent citizen.

-Oh?

Who's that?

-You know what, Mr. Wilson?

I think Sergeant Mooney

wants to be in our movie too.

-You know Dennis, you're

smarter than he is.

-Oh, for heaven's sakes.

How stupid of me.

Of course you should be in

the movie, Mooney. [laughs]

Why, no one deserves it more

than our stalwart uh, defender

of the law.

-Well, it's your

project, Dennis.

Uh, is it OK with you?

-Sure, Sergeant Mooney.

I like you!

-Oh thanks, son.

-When we play cops and

robbers, I get real mad 'cause

I always want to be you.

And Eddie Nolan

always gets to be you.

-Oh?

Why does Eddie get the break?

-Well, he's got the biggest

feet of any of us kids.

-Uh, uh, I'll take

your picture right here

in front of the police

station, Mooney.

-Oh!

Oh George, uh, you want

me to run over to the jail

and get a prisoner I captured?

He's just a hobo I picked up

over at the railroad yards

and I picked him

up single handed.

-Oh no, that won't

be necessary, Mooney.

Now just pose here with

Dennis and the others.

Dennis, you stand right there.

You folks get up on

the steps behind him.

And I'll step out here to the

curb and start the camera.

-Oh!

-Oh!

-Ooh, my purse!

-Oh, I'll get it, Mrs. Mitchell.

-Thank you, Sergeant.

-Ah, Martha, put that down.

Sergeant Mooney

outside police station.

-Hell, George, it was

nice of you to include me.

I'll do the best I can about

helping out on that fine.

-Oh, well that's good news.

-'Course, that doesn't mean

I approve of jaywalking.

That's a pretty serious offense.

-Oh, I understand.

All right folks, the next sh*t

will be the old adobe house.

We'll go down to the

corner and cross over.

-Oh no, George.

Cross right here, it's closer.

I'll stop the traffic.

[blows whistle]

-Shall we jaywalk, dear?

-Love to.

[brakes squealing]

[blows whistle]

-All right, now.

I'm going to sh**t this

scene with all of you

in it to give it human interest.

Now Dennis, I want

you right over here.

And you're pointing to

the sign as if you're

showing it to them, you see?

-OK.

I'll even read it out loud.

Old Harper House, built .

-Good boy.

-Boy, I bet that's

older than anybody.

When were you built, Mr. Wilson?

-Uh.

-Dennis, people are born.

You don't see they're built.

-Dad does.

He was looking at a

picture in the paper

and I heard him say, "This

Miss America sure is--"

-Uh, uh Dennis, that's enough!

Uh, Mr. Wilson, where

did you want us?

Uh--

-Oh, I want the

three of you to come

from that doorway over there.

And stay close together, please.

Dennis'll stay

right where you are.

All right.

Now come on, action.

All right, ready?

Go!

[camera whirring]

-Old Harper House.

Built .

-Oh no, no, no, no, no.

Let's get a little

excitement into this.

Now Dennis, this is

the oldest building

in town, a famous landmark.

Now come on, look excited!

-Dennis, pay attention

to Mr. Wilson.

-What are you looking at?

-That truck.

The movie camera's on it.

[engine roaring]

-Great Scott!

Wait! [shouts]

-Boy, Mr. Wilson sure knows how

to look excited, doesn't he?

-Hey! [shouts]

-Hey!

-Wait!

-Hi, Miss Perkins!

-Hi.

-We're chasing my

history assignment.

-Your history assignment?

-Yeah.

I gotta help catch it

so you'll give me an A.

-Oh!

Thank goodness!

-Lucky thing he hit that

stop sign or we never

would have caught up with him.

-Whoa, you got it!

Is Miss Perkins gonna be glad!

-[laughs]

-[sighs] Oh!

-Now I understand

what Dennis meant

about catching his

history assignment.

-Yes, they've been

working on it all day.

-Well, I'm very proud of Dennis.

And of your husband too.

-Oh, that was a close one.

-Well, we made it.

You see, Miss

Perkins, Mr. Wilson--

-I know.

Your wives have told me about

Dennis' documentary film,

and I have a splendid idea.

At our regular

PTA meeting Monday

night at school

we'd love to have

you come and show

your movie for us.

-My!

Well, that's quite an

honor. [laughs] Dennis

and I accept with

pleasure, don't we Dennis?

-Jeepers, that'd be keen!

-Well Mr. Wilson,

are you sure they'll

be developed and

ready by Monday night?

You know they don't

work on Sunday.

-Now don't you worry, Mitchell.

I'll get it done if I

have to pay double for it.

-Good.

We'll look forward to it.

-Isn't she swell?

Hey, why don't we have

her in our movie too?

-Me?

Oh, I don't take a

very good picture.

I uh--

-Aw, sure you do, Miss Perkins.

-I'm sure you must have

more important things you

want to put on

your film than me.

-Well, I did want

to get some other--

-Uh, where shall I stand?

How's this pose?

-Um--

-Is it all right?

My hair all right?

-Fine.

-You look great, Miss Perkins.

You look like

you're just getting

ready to mark me

down a big fat A.

-There, now don't

look in the lens.

That's fine.

-Say, here's a front page

story in the Sunday paper.

-Oh?

Oh yes.

"The PTA has invited

local dignitaries

to attend tomorrow

night's showing."

Oh my, this is very gratifying.

-I should say.

-Our film will be ready,

won't it Mr. Wilson?

You know I sure do want

to get an A on my report.

-Don't you worry, Dennis.

Mr. Clark down at

the camera shop

promised to deliver it

tomorrow night at the meeting.

Now let's run over some of

these captions we wrote.

-You mean this is the

stuff I'm going to read?

-That's right.

Here's the opening one.

-"Our Fair City.

A motion picture presentation

by Dennis Mitchell

and George Wilson."

-Well, credits and everything!

-I wanted to be professional.

-Professional!

Oh boy, I can hardly

wait till tomorrow night!

You know, I'll be as

famous as Yogi Bear I bet!

-[laughing]

-And now, as soon as I finish

reading this final report,

the business portion of

our meeting will be over.

Then we are going to see

the world premiere of--

-Confound that Clark!

Where is he with that film?

I posted Dennis outside

to show him where to come.

-Don't worry.

He'll show up.

-Well, he promised to have it

here and show it for me at nine

o'clock sharp and

it's nearly nine now.

-Relax, George.

I got a squad car standing

by the camera store,

ready to rush him down here.

-Good, good.

Thanks a lot, Mooney.

-After all, uh, I got a

leading role, you might say.

I wouldn't want anything

to happen to that film.

-Yes, of course.

-Attendance at our

last meeting was

, a decrease from

the previous month.

-Oh dear.

The mayor's in there and half

the town's leading citizens.

If anything going wrong--

-It'll be fine, George.

It'll be fine.

I don't mean that

jaywalking fine either.

-Oh, for pete's sake, Mooney.

I was counting on you

to get me out of that.

Now if you're going to

keep harping on that,

I'll just pay it and

get it over with.

-Forget it, George.

Forget it.

We in the show biz

gotta stick together.

Just forget it.

-Well, all right.

Let's not hear any

more about it then.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN):

Hey Mr. Wilson!

It's here, Mr. Wilson!

The film's here!

-What'd I tell you, George?

-Thank heaven, Mr. Clark.

We're almost ready for

the screening in there.

-I'll run the projector.

Now you just go sit down in

there and take your bows.

-Oh [laughs].

-Come on, Mr. Wilson.

You can sit with me, right

at the teacher's desk.

-No Dennis.

I'll sit in the audience.

This project is all

yours from now on.

-And now, the young man

whose project this is,

Master Dennis Mitchell,

will read the commentary.

[applause]

-Lights, please?

-All set, Dennis?

-OK, let her go.

"Our Fair City.

A movie by Dennis Mitchell

and George Wilson."

This is our park,

where our people

go to rest and stroll

quietly among the trees.

[laughter]

-New camera.

I had a little trouble

with the speed.

-Our town is noted

for its lovely women.

-Oh there, that's better.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): And here we

see two typical pretty faces.

[laughter]

-I hope your camera

work was better

when you got to

my house, Wilson.

-Oh, I'm sure it was, yes.

-In the center of the

park is the Charter Oak.

Under its branches, our

city charter was signed.

-That's a nice sh*t, Mr. Wilson.

-Thank you, Mitchell.

-Near the Charter Oak, we

see the prominent citizen

who is responsible for

making this picture.

Mr. George Wilson.

[laughter]

-I never saw a better likeness!

-Good grief!

That sh*t should've come later.

-Our town has many

fine public buildings.

Here's the City Hall

and the public library.

Our city has many

prominent people.

One of them is Mr.

John Watterson,

president of the bank.

He is a solid citizen with

his feel planted firmly

on the ground.

-Great Scott!

I must have had the

camera upside down.

-Is that your idea

of a joke, Wilson?

-No, it was a mistake.

I, I don't know how it happened.

--[laughs] Don't be

a sore head, John.

You look better

upside down anyhow.

-Just a minute, Mr. Clark.

Our city has many

fine factories,

such as the one you see here.

-What was that?

-I don't know, honey.

Something's all mixed up.

-Dennis, you read

the wrong card.

-That's what it

says, Mr. Wilson.

It says--

-Never mind what it says.

Read the next one.

-Oh, leave him alone!

-He's all right.

-Leave him alone!

-These industries were

brought to our town

through the brilliant efforts

of our energetic chamber

of commerce.

And here are the

members of the chamber

of commerce at their

weekly luncheon.

[laughter]

-Oh no!

That's the stockyard!

-Those are the fellows that

voted against me. [laughs]

-Dennis, that's enough.

The whole thing's ruined.

-No it isn't, Mr. Wilson.

Everybody thinks

it's real funny.

-It's not supposed to be!

-Oh, relax Wilson.

This is a masterpiece! [laughs]

-Our city has many landmarks.

One of them is Windy Cave,

famous throughout the state

for the constant flow

of wind and hot air that

comes out of it night and day.

[laughter]

-Hot air!

How dare you?

Now Wilson, you did

that deliberately!

-Don't be a sore

head, Mayor. [laughs]

-Our city is very proud

of its leading citizen,

Mayor Billings.

-Well, now that's better.

-And here's the

mayor's home, a home

that no one deserves

more than he does.

We hope he will spend

the rest of his life

right here where he belongs.

-Well, of all the

rude, insulting things!

-Aw Mayor!

What's the matter?

Can't you take a joke? [laughs]

-Next, we see one of

our finest officers

of the law, Sergeant

Harold Mooney,

and some fans outside

the police station.

-Now comes the good part.

-You can see why criminals

stay away from our town

when you look at Sergeant

Mooney's strong, honest face.

[laughter]

-All right, Wilson, what kind

of smart aleck picture is that?

-What's the matter, Mooney?

Can't you take a joke? [laughs]

-Sergeant Mooney is

always so pompous.

I'm enjoying this.

-I don't think poor George is.

-Life in our town has

its amusing side too.

Here we see one of

the skinny old cats

that hang around the city dump.

-Stop that thing!

Turn it off this instant!

Mr. Wilson, I have

been years--

[arguing]

-But to be referred

to as an old cat!

-I can understand why you're

so upset, Miss Perkins.

But you must know that Dennis

didn't do it on purpose.

-Right.

You're my favorite teacher!

-I'm the only teacher

you have, Dennis.

-If I had more, you'd still be.

-My husband didn't

mean to insult you.

It was just a mix up.

-Sometimes Mr. Wilson's

camera went goofy.

And I got the cards mixed up.

-Well, it was an accident.

And you did have good

intentions, Dennis.

-I sure did.

-I wouldn't want anyone to think

I don't have a sense of humor,

so all is forgiven.

-That's very kind of you.

-But I warn you, Dennis.

There'll be trouble

if you ever bring

me catnip instead of an apple.

[laughter]

-And so you can

see the whole thing

was just an unfortunate error.

-He really wrote some very nice

things about you gentlemen.

-Uh well, yes.

Uh, you know, between

things going wrong

with the camera and Dennis

getting the cards all mixed up,

uh well, you do understand,

don't you Mr. Watterson?

-No, I don't!

MR. WILSON (OFFSCREEN):

But Mr. Watterson--I oh.

Uh, you're not angry at

me, are you, Your Honor?

-Well, I'm certainly

not pleased!

MR. WILSON (OFFSCREEN):

But Your Honor,

I-- oh, uh, you're not mad

at me, are you, Mooney?

-Of course not, George.

I'm not mad.

-Well, thank goodness.

-However, there's

that little matter

of the jaywalking ticket.

-What?

-At $ a day for days,

that makes the penalty $ .

And if you don't have the money

there by tomorrow morning,

I'm gonna lock you up!

MR. WILSON (OFFSCREEN):

But Mooney!

Now you said--

-I don't care what I said!

-Hey Mr. Wilson!

I've got some good new for you!

Miss Perkins is gonna

give me that A after all!

Aren't you happy?

-Happy?

[laughs, then cries]

Oh, [inaudible].

[theme music]