03x35 - The Bully

[bunniefuu]

[music playing]

-Mom!

Hey, Mom!

We're home!

-Well, you two,

how was the golf?

-All right, I guess.

All right?

Jeepers, Mom.

It was swell.

I made a whole dollar

just watching Dad play.

-My goodness!

Just how did you manage that?

Caddying?

-Oh no.

-Dennis.

Dad gave it to me for forgetting

some new words he accidentally

taught me.

[music playing]

[theme music]

[music playing]

-'Night, Mom.

-Goodnight, dear.

-'Night, Dad.

-'Night, son.

-Did you put your clothes away?

-Yes.

-Did you wash your face?

-Yes.

-Brush your teeth?

-Yes.

All except this one

here that's loose.

No use wasting time

on that one when

it's going to come out

in a couple of days.

Maybe even sooner if

I eat peanut brittle.

-All right, dear.

Goodnight.

-Don't forget to say

your prayers, son.

-Oh it's OK if I don't

say my prayers tonight.

-How do you figure that?

-Well, Sunday night I

said them seven times.

Enough for the whole week.

-Hear that, Alice?

Seven-- [chuckling] Oh no.

[music playing]

-Oh here it is, Alice.

Under House for Rent.

"Desirable unfurnished house.

Three bedrooms, two baths.

Completely redecorated.

Reasonable."

-Well I hope that

ad brings results.

It's been over eight

months since you

and Mr. Wilson bought that

old house and fixed it up.

-I'm too hopeful, Alice.

Even Mr. Cummings, the real

estate man has given up on it.

-What I can't understand is how

Mr. Wilson talked his brother

into buying half his

interest in the house

before he left on his trip east.

-I don't know, honey.

I guess John Wilson just figured

it was a good investment.

Rumors of haunted

house notwithstanding.

-Jeepers, I'd

think anybody would

love to live in a

haunted house and get

goose bumps every night.

-Well they don't.

And stop calling it a

haunted house, Dennis.

The only ghost we ever found

there was an old tramp.

-Maybe we didn't

look good enough.

-Dennis, eat your--

Dennis, what are you

doing in those old clothes?

You know perfectly

well I'd never

let you go to school

dressed like that.

-Well I'm wearing

these because there's

liably to be something

special at school today.

I may be in a fight.

-Well I don't care if-- A fight?

-Well you see there's

this big bully Gifford who

picks on all the kids at school.

And now he's starting

to pick on me.

-You don't say.

-Has this boy ever

struck you, dear?

-No.

But when he does I'm

going to clobber him.

-Well if he's a

bully, son, that's

the only reasonable thing to do.

-Henry Mitchell!

The idea!

Encouraging your son to fight.

Dennis, have you ever

tried making friends

with this little boy?

-Heck no.

He hasn't got any friends.

-Well that's probably

the whole trouble.

He feels rejected

by the children.

Dear, I want you to

promise me you'll

try to make friends

with this child.

-OK.

But if that doesn't

work, then I'm

going to try my very

best to clobber him.

-You are not!

-I'm not saying a word.

[music playing]

-Afternoon, John.

-Well, Henry.

What are you doing home in

the middle of the afternoon?

-[laughs] Tell me, John.

Have you had any responses to

our ad in the newspaper yet?

-No not a one, Henry.

-Well I have.

-You have?

-Got a call at the

office this morning

and I just got through

showing the house to a Mrs.

Kelly who seems

extremely interested.

-Really?

Say that's great!

Great.

Oh I certainly hope we can make

a deal while I'm still visiting

here.

Oh.

Martha!

Alice!

Come in here!

-I had that recipe

when I was a bride.

-It's marvelous.

What is it, John?

Hello, Henry.

-Well, dear, what are doing

home from the office so early?

-Oh it's about the house, Alice.

I--

-He's as good as rented it.

How is that news?

-Oh that's wonderful.

When?

-Hold it.

Hold it.

I haven't rented it yet.

I still have to show it to

the woman's husband tomorrow

morning.

-Oh.

Now, Alice, you

know perfectly well

that once a wife has

made up her mind,

her husband doesn't

stand a chance.

-John's right, Alice.

Why do you think so many men

get caught in the first place?

-Ah ha.

[chuckles]

[music playing]

-Mom!

I'm home!

Mom!

Anybody here?

-The best part of it

is that those rumors

about the house being

haunted are-- well,

they don't bother her a bit.

-Martha, I knew that if

we kept at it-- Haunted?

George didn't tell me anything

about the house being haunted

when he, when he talked

me to investing in it.

-Oh dear.

He didn't?

-Why that slippery-tongued

brother of mine.

-John, It isn't really haunted.

Those are just silly rumors.

-Mrs. Wilson!

Hey, Mrs. Wilson have

you seen-- Oh hi, Dad.

Hi, Mom.

-Dennis!

What happened to your eye?

-That's quite a shiner

you've got there, son.

-My goodness.

It certainly is, isn't it?

-Dennis, you promised

me you wouldn't

fight with that other boy.

-I didn't fight.

And that's why I

got this black eye.

And I'm the ninth

kid he's lit into.

-Well I don't understand.

You mean you, you

just stood there

and let this other

child hit you?

-Mom made me promise

to try to make friends

with that big bully.

-Oh I, uh, I see.

-I'm sorry, dear.

-I bet your not as

sorry as my eye is.

-I tried to tell you

this morning, Alice.

There are some

problems children just

have to work out themselves.

-It was certainly that way

when I went to school, Alice.

-You mean I can

hit him next time?

-In your own self-defense,

son, if that big bully

picks on you again

you clobber him.

-And, Dennis, while you're at

it give him one for me too.

Oh boy I'll sure

try, Mr. Wilson.

-Better get back to the

office or I'll be fired.

Bye, sweetie.

-Goodbye, dear.

-Well don't you worry

about a thing, Henry.

We'll take care of matters here.

-Thanks.

Bye.

-Bye.

-I still don't like

the idea his fighting.

Now, Alice, you and

Martha run along

and finish whatever

you were doing.

We men will take

care of matters here.

[ahem] Well, Dennis.

It seems to me that

I should give you

a few pointers in the

art of fisticuffs.

-Gosh, Mr. Wilson.

Did you used to

be a good fighter?

-Am I a good fighter?

Dennis, my boy, in my

boxing days in college

I was widely known and

feared as, uh, k*ller Wilson.

Oh yeah.

Yes I wouldn't enter

the ring with anyone

unless they had a written

release from a doctor.

[chuckles]

-Gee.

-Oh-- Uh, feel that.

-Yep.

There's something

there all right.

[music playing]

-There you are, Mr. Wilson.

-Thank you, Tommy.

-Dennis' are all right.

-All right, Dennis.

Ready?

-Why don't you pick on

somebody your own size?

-Mr. Wilson's not

picking on me, Seymour.

He's going to teach

me all about boxing.

-Sure got bad eyes.

He's missing you by a mile.

-Seymour, what Mr. Wilson's

doing is called shadow boxing.

-Oh.

-Boy, Mr. Wilson.

You sure are light on your feet.

-Why, my boy, in my

younger days in the ring

I was sheer poetry in motion.

Yep.

Whelp.

I think it's time for a

little professional advice.

Now then.

You jab with the left

and guard with the right.

See?

-Uh, jab with the left

and guard with the right.

Like this?

-Yeah, yeah exactly.

That's-- Uh, uh keep the

right up a little higher, see?

Like this.

-Boy that looks silly.

-Oh it does, does it?

Oh all right.

Well you try and get

through my defenses.

Go ahead.

You just try.

-OK.

-Uh-hanh.

See?

[grunts] Uh-hanh, uh-hanh.

-Jeepers.

I didn't meant to

hit you, Mr. Wilson.

-Huh?

-Are you all right?

-Yeah.

Of course I'm all right, Dennis.

-Boy, Mr. Wilson.

You're going to have a

shiner just like mine.

Oh Great Caesar's ghost!

-John Wilson!

What's going on out here?

-Dennis clobbered him.

-Well you better come in and let

me put something on that eye.

-I, I'm all right, Martha.

Now, Dennis, you just

remember what I showed you

and you'll be all prepared

to meet that bully in school

tomorrow.

-OK, Mr. Wilson.

But I'd sure feel better if

that kid had a big head on him

like yours to aim at.

-Sure is a fat one.

[music playing]

-Hi, darling.

Hear anything yet?

-No not a word.

I'm sorry home from the

office, dear, but I'm worried.

School's been out

for over an hour.

-Oh now, Alice.

He probably just stayed around

the school grounds to play.

You know how kids are.

-Henry, I just know he got into

a fight with that other boy.

And I--

[doorbell rings]

-Well I'll get it, honey.

-Oh hi, John.

How's the eye?

-Please.

I saw you drive up.

Any news on the house?

-Well the woman

saw it yesterday.

And her husband saw

it this morning.

But he can't make up his mind.

So now she's undecided even

though they both like it.

-Oh for heaven's sake.

Well what do you

think our chances are?

-Oh about - .

They're supposed to

let us know tonight.

-Mm.

Well I certainly hope they do.

-Hi, Mom.

Hi, Dad.

Hi, Mr. Wilson.

-Dennis.

Oh, darling, let me look at you.

Are you all right?

-Jeepers, Mom, I'm swell.

But boy you should see

that other kid, Dad.

When he d to pick

on me after school,

I gave him a right cross

like Mr. Wilson said.

And he ran home crying.

-Well coaching will tell.

-You know maybe that bully's

learned his lesson now.

-But, dear, where have

you been all this time?

-Well we didn't want

to fight around school.

So we went way over

to the old junkyard.

Oh.

Well why don't you run on

upstairs and get cleaned up.

-Uh, put a little iodine

on that scratch, son.

-OK.

How's your shiner, Mr. Wilson?

-Oh just lovely, Dennis.

Turned from black to a

delightful shade of purple

with delicate fuchsia overtones.

-Well if you have

to have one I'm

glad you're at least

beginning to like it.

-Oh dear.

I hope that other boy

wasn't hurt too badly.

-Oh I imagine most

of the hurt was

to his ego and only temporary.

-Besides he was a bully, Alice.

He deserved everything he got.

-Hey, Mom.

Have you seen the iodine bottle

with that scary label on it?

-Oh I must have left it

in the basement last time

I sawed my finger.

I'll go get it.

-Your father's getting it, dear.

-Well, Alice, I think

I'll be running along.

[phone rings]

-Excuse me.

-Yeah.

[doorbell rings]

-Oh dear.

-I'll, I'll get the door, Alice.

-John Wilson.

You promised to go

to the store for me.

-Oh Mrs. Wilson.

Come in and sit down.

-Right.

-Hello?

-This is Mr. Kelly.

The father of the little

boy your son b*at up.

I'd like to talk

to your husband.

-Just a minute please.

It's that little boy's father

and he sounds terribly angry.

-Oh he does, does he?

Let me talk to him.

-But he said he

wanted to speak to--

-Alice, please.

I've had a lifetime

of experience handling

bullies of all sizes.

-Oh you have, have you?

Then you'd better do something

about that big boy of yours

that att*cked and b*at

up my son this afternoon.

-Now listen here

whoever you are.

-John, I really don't think--

-(WHISPERING) Martha, Martha.

Please.

It's your son who's

the bully and he

got exactly what's

coming to him.

-Oh dear.

-Is that so?

-Yes that's so.

And furthermore--

-Alice, I found this down--

-It's the kid's father, Henry.

-Oh.

Who?

-Your junior-sized monster

better keep out of Dennis' way

unless of course you want to

have his other eye blacked out.

That's telling him hey, Henry?

-Listen, Mister.

This sounds like something

that you and I better

settle in person.

I'll be right over.

-Fine.

Dandy.

Come here If you've

got the nerve.

-Come ahead where?

-What did he say, John.

-Well the loudmouth says

that's the on his way over here

to settle this in

person with Henry.

-Oh my goodness.

-John, how could you?

-You mean that kid's father

thinks that you're me

and he's on his way over here?

-Oh boy.

You'll show him won't you, Dad?

-Oh relax, Henry.

These bullies are all the same.

-Hey, I got to go

load my flash camera

so I can take

pictures of the fight.

-Dennis.

There is not going

to be a fight.

-Of course there isn't.

-There isn't?

But, Dad, when that kid

picked on me, you said to--

-Well, that is there

isn't going to be

any fight unless the other

fellow starts it of course.

-Well that's different.

Gifford's dad'll

start one all right.

The kids say he's a

big tough looking guy

who drives one of those

great big diesel trucks.

-Oh no.

There you are, son.

Don't, don't use

up all the iodine.

-OK.

But if Mr. Kelly

comes don't let him

start anything until I get back.

-Kelly?

Did he say Kelly?

-Well that's the name the

man gave on the phone, dear.

Why?

-And, and he drives

a diesel truck

and he has a kid

about Dennis' age?

Oh no.

-Well, Henry, what is it?

-Just because he's a tough

looking fellow and drives

a diesel truck

there's no reason--

-John, you don't understand.

This is the same Kelly

who's interested in renting

our house.

-[gasp]

-Oh no.

Are you sure, Henry?

-Well the name, the

description they all fit.

-Oh.

Now they'll never

take our house.

-I'll, I'll bet he

doesn't know that I'm

the Mitchell he's coming to see.

-But, Henry, he must.

-Not necessarily, honey.

I, I got the call at the office.

There must be a dozen

Mitchells in the book.

I'm sure he doesn't know my

first name or where we live.

-Oh well a fat lot

of good that does us.

He'll recognize you the moment

he comes through that door.

-You're right.

There must be

something we can do.

-Well why couldn't Alice simply

tell him you're not home?

-And Dennis knowing that?

No thanks, Mrs. Wilson.

That would make me a

complete coward in his eyes.

-Oh if only Mr. Wilson--

-Well that's it.

Mr. Wilson could

pretend to be Henry.

-Alice, I wouldn't

consider such a thing.

-Well of course.

There's no reason in the

world why-- Pretend I'm Henry?

-John, I think it's

a wonderful idea.

-Martha, that man's on

his way over here to--

-John, don't tell me you're

afraid of that bully.

-Afraid?

Me?

Of course not.

It's just that-- Uh, well I'm

not as young as I used to be.

-Oh, Mr. Wilson.

Surely Mr. Kelly wouldn't

hit a man your age.

-Of course he wouldn't.

-Look, Martha, it's

unfair to draft

a man of my advanced

years for front line duty.

-John's right, dear.

It's my responsibility.

And Dennis is my son.

If we continue to lose $

a month rent because of this,

well, it's nothing

to do about it.

Even if we never

rent that old house.

-Exactly.

Even if we never rent that--

Never rent that house?

Oh let's not be hasty

about this, Henry.

-But, John, you just said--

-Let's put it this way.

We cannot lose that rental.

I wonder if he'd hit

a man wearing glasses.

[music playing]

-Hello?

Tommy?

This is me.

Alvin's coming over.

And Seymour's coming over.

So if you want to see my dad

knock Gifford's old man's

block off, come on

over right away.

And I'll try to

save you a standing

room outside our patio door.

-Here are my glasses, John.

-Thank you, Martha.

-Alice, I like this

idea less and less.

-Well I assure you, Henry, I

like it even less than you do.

But there doesn't seem

to be any other way.

Now if I only had

a cane to lean on.

-Well I'm all set.

-For what, dear?

-To hide behind the

sofa and take pictures.

-Dennis, you go right

outside and play

until I call you in for dinner.

-Do you mean I

can't stay and watch

my own dad stick up for me?

-Dennis, you heard your mother.

Now go on outside.

-OK.

Don't you worry, Dad.

You can knock

anybody's block off.

Alice, I simply can't do this.

After all I am Dennis' father.

[doorbell rings]

-Good heavens.

He's here.

You're right.

You are his father.

-No you don't, John.

You go to the door.

-Come along, Henry.

-(WHISPERING) But

Alice, I don't think--

-(WHISPERING) Mrs. Wilson, I

think we'd better wait upstairs

out of sight.

[doorbell rings]

-John Wilson.

-I, uh, thought I'd talk to

him from an upstairs window

until he calms down.

-Really, John?

-Just a thought.

[knocking]

-Well, well come in Mr. Kelly.

And you must be his little boy.

-Take your clammy paw off me.

-Mind your manners, son.

All right now, Mitchell.

As you were saying on the phone.

-[stutters] On, on the phone.

-Yes.

-Oh, oh on the phone.

-Yes.

-Uh. [stutters] Let's go inside

and get comfortable shall we?

-All right.

Come on, son.

-Here they come.

-Hey that's not

your dad, Dennis.

That's Mr. Wilson's brother.

-Don't you worry, Tommy.

My dad'll be coming all right.

-Oh a cigarette?

-No.

-Uh, candy?

-Tranquilizer?

-No.

-Uh, well now about this silly

little misunderstanding--

-Little misunderstanding?

Your boy picked on Gifford here

without any reason, Mitchell.

-Look at his eye, Pop.

He even hits old man.

-He does not.

[stutters] Uh, well it was

just kind of an accident.

I forgot to duck.

-Mm-hm.

-Why is Mr. Wilson's brother

doing all the talking?

-Hey, Dennis?

Why isn't your dad in

there fighting for himself?

-You said he was

going to clobber him.

Let's open the door a

little so we can hear them.

-Well Dennis did that?

-Yeah.

Take a good look at my boy.

Look at that eye.

-Uh, well he does look a little

the worse for wear, doesn't he?

-Yeah.

-Where is your dad?

-I don't know, Tommy.

But I bet you he's

got a darn good reason

for not being there.

-Sure he has, Dennis.

He's scared.

-My dad is not scared.

-He is too.

-He is not!

And you take that back!

Not!

-OK.

OK not scared.

-May be he's just careful.

-My dad isn't scared of

anything in the whole world.

He even laughs at horror movies.

-And then he

tripped the poor kid

and hit him when he was down.

-My little Dennis did that?

-Alice, I can't stand

much more of this.

-What I can't understand

is how a father

like you let's an

overgrown bully of a son

go around picking

on other children.

-That's not so!

That's not so!

-Dennis, please.

-He's not my dad.

And I don't go around

picking on other kids.

-You do too.

-I do not, Gifford.

But you do though.

-Het, hey, hey.

Please, Dennis.

Please.

-Just hold it, boys.

Hold it.

-You'll have to excuse him.

He's a little upset.

-It's all right, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh hello, Mitchell.

-Mr. Mitchell?

What are you doing here?

-I have a confession

to make, Mr. Kelly.

I'm Dennis' father.

-You're his father?

Well, then who's he?

-Uh, just a nervous bystander.

When, when we found out

which Mr. Kelly you are,

we were afraid you'd

get sore at Mitchell

here and not take our house.

-You see Mr. Wilson and

his brother, John here,

and myself own it together.

-While I was on my way over you

thought you would pretend to be

him hoping that--

-That you wouldn't hit a

pudgy man wearing glasses.

--[laughs] Well now

I've heard everything.

-Jeepers, Dad.

I just knew it.

I just knew it.

-Knew what?

-That you must have had

a darn good reason not

to come in and

clobber Mr. Kelly.

-Well now to the business

at hand, Mr. Kelly.

-Yeah Oh say before

I forget, here's

a check for the first

and last months rent.

-Henry, they're

taking our house.

-You'd better hang

on to that until you

hear what I have to say.

-Henry.

Henry.

-I'm sorry about

your boy, Mr. Kelly.

But he did start the fight.

Not Dennis.

-I did not.

I did not!

-You did too, Gifford.

-I did not, you

little stool pigeon.

-Boys.

Boys.

-Gifford?

What do you mean stool pigeon?

Did you or did you

not start that fight?

And is this the

boy that's supposed

to be a foot taller

than you are?

-Sure he is.

Look at the way his

hair sticks out in back.

-I want you two

boys to shake hands.

Go on, Gifford!

-I'll do it.

But I won't like it.

-Now that's better.

There you are, Mr. Mitchell.

-Oh thank you.

-As for you, young

man, you start

anymore fights and your

last one will be with me.

Now come on.

Let's get going.

-It's been very nice

meeting you, Mr. Kelly.

-Oh nice to meet you too.

-And, uh, the next

time you better

make sure you know something

about the art of fisticuffs.

-Oh for crying out loud.

-Oh!

I'm bleeding!

I'm bleeding!

That little monster hit me.

[groans]

-John, what happened?

-That little monster

hit me, Martha.

Right on the nose.

-Oh for heaven's sake.

Well it didn't draw blood, John.

-Well maybe not, Henry.

But that little boy hit me.

Don't feel bad, Mr. Wilson.

In a fair fight you could

lick that kid any old day.

-Oh Great Caesar's ghost.

-[laughs]

[theme music]