♪
[Sighing]
♪
[Gasping]
[Laughing]
[Both laughing]
[Gasping]
Ooh.
[Laughing]
Can I please get some service
here?
What?
I said, can I please...
Get some service?
Ew!
I mean, I'm sorry, sir.
Uh, right away.
Mmm.
Hello!
Sorry, what did you wanna
get?
Time-out!
[Yelling]
I'll field this one,
Masterson.
Mmm.
And you have yourself a
top-scoring day.
Masterson!
What?
Oh, sorry, coach.
I see you noticed our new
employee, Charlie Dobbs.
Charlie Dobbs?
Ah, no.
Does he work here?
Save it.
I know that look on your face.
Remember the Penalty Box
employee policy: any time
feelings of love arise on the
job, push ups.
Yes, sir.
Now since I've just mentioned
love, I'm going to do myself.
[Grunting]
[Cracking]
[Screaming]
I'll get to the other later,
but, boy, that feels good.
Hand me one of those sports
towels, Masterson.
Ew.
Mark that down percent.
Good job.
Yes, coach.
♪
♪ Life begins after school
♪ That's when we bend
all the rules ♪
♪ Time to hang
with all my friends ♪
♪ We like to be together
in a place where we belong ♪
♪ I'm sixteen
♪ Starting to find my way
♪ Got a new job
♪ Gonna start at
the mall today ♪
♪ Thank God I'm on my own
for the first time ♪
♪ I'm sixteen
♪ Life is sweet
♪ When you're growing up
so fast ♪
♪ You got to make the good
times last ♪
♪
♪ I'm sixteen, sixteen
♪ Got to make the good times
last ♪
♪
[Gulping]
Sometimes the helmets can be
a bit confusing.
Let me do it for you.
Thanks.
Don't even worry about it.
I've done it a million times.
[Sighing]
Dobbs!
Centre field.
I need you to change this
display.
Gotta go.
So, uh, I thought since
you're new you might want to, I
don't know, go for a coffee with
me.
Since we'll be working together
and all.
Oh, that's nice, but
actually, uh, I've got a--
Gotta go?
Oh, me too.
I've got so much work to do.
So see you later.
Oof!
Ouch.
You all right there?
Fine.
Ugh, nice move, Jen.
I know what's going on here.
Uh, it's not what it looks
like, heh.
It's exactly what it looks
like.
Jen's got a crush--
[Muffled yelling]
[Laughing]
She really needed to try that
shirt on.
[Sighing]
Huh, is that actually text on
his screen?
Yeah, he's writing a guide
on how to score chicks for guys
that suck at scoring chicks.
Isn't that kind of like the
pot calling the kettle black?
Oh, forget it.
So, what inspired this bout of
literary genius?
My new job at Booktropolis.
You should see some of the books
in there.
What a rip-off!
"The Cat in the Hat"?
Please, it only took me
minutes to read that one.
That's because it's a
children's book.
Yeah, well, if people will
buy a book about a cat who's
wearing a hat--
And by the way, they don't.
--then this will be a
best-seller.
Oh, I'm sure.
Check it out.
"Chapter : Avoiding the
Parents."
Check it out.
"Chapter : Avoiding the
Author."
Hey, Penalty Box girl.
Who's getting a major for
hooking a babe?
Not me.
Charlie still doesn't know I
exist.
JONESY: Common problem.
Chapter of my book, "Making
the First Move."
Don't go there.
You're writing a book?
She went there.
Yes, as a matter of fact.
And it doesn't matter whether
you're a guy or a chick.
You always have to make the
first move.
Okay...
Trust me, if you wanna get
this guy's attention, I can
help you.
Really?
Sure.
See, all guys want is to think
they're a player.
Work the ego angle.
If you can make him believe
that he's all that, you've got
him.
Don't listen to him.
Wouldn't you be more
attracted to a guy who knows
just what to say to the ladies?
Sure, you know any?
Jonesy, if you could do this
for me--
It's as good as done.
Let's go.
See you guys!
This should be interesting,
in a train wreck kind of way.
♪
Hound Dog to Hawk, come in
Hawk.
Do you read me?
Hawk here.
Proceed to prey.
[Inhaling deeply]
Okay, say, "Hey, Charlie."
Hey, Charlie.
I'll bet you're good at
scoring.
I'll bet you're good at
scoring.
Actually, I did get points
in last year's season.
Highest scorer on the team.
What an idiot.
What an idiot.
Oh, not you!
Jonesy!
Jonesy?
Jen, don't blow it.
I'm not blowing it.
Blowing what?
Nothing, um...
COACH: Masterson!
Excuse me a minute.
Abort mission.
Abort, abort, abort!
Get out of there.
Ahh, whoa!
Ooh.
Ow.
You all right there?
Huh?
Yeah.
Oof.
I'll bet you're good at
scoring.
Give me , now, now, now!
One, two...
That was so humiliating.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Another satisfied customer,
Jonesy?
[Laughing]
I did everything except throw
myself at his feet.
Actually, you did that too.
Ugh, you were right, Nikki.
I never should have listened to
him.
See?
If you all would just accept
that Nikki's always right your
lives would be so much easier.
But why isn't Charlie even
the slightest bit interested?
I'm cute, aren't I?
Maybe he's, you know.
Oh.
Is he?
No.
So what do I do?
The staff party's tomorrow and I
wanted to go with him.
That's it, make him jealous.
If you want Charlie to want you,
take someone else to the party.
I don't get it.
Guys want what they can't
have.
So get a fake date to take you
to the party.
When he sees you're taken, he'll
have to have you.
Ah, jealousy.
The time-honoured way to a man's
heart.
But where can I find a fake
date on such short notice.
Are you kidding?
Your store has the best staff
party in the entire mall.
I'd do it.
Me too.
Yeah, count me in.
Hey, it's free food.
See?
I'll find you the perfect guy.
♪
Whoa.
Hey, fake date dudes.
Am I late?
Just in time.
Back of the line's that way.
The legendary P B party.
Ha, ha, last year they gave out
a brand-new snowboard as the
door prize.
You'll definitely be the one,
dude.
Poor sucker doesn't have a
chance.
Standby, guys.
[Phone dialling]
[Line ringing]
Hi, Cait.
Set to go?
Yeah, you ready?
All set.
Let's see them.
Okay, listen up.
Suitability for Jen will be
judged on your interview with
me, and your answer to a
skill-testing question.
Oh, and hygene is important
too.
Aw.
Ew.
Contestant Number , how
would you treat Jen if you went
out with her on a date?
Like a princess.
[Purring like a cat]
Excuse me, Contestant Number
.
A girl like that arrives alone
at the Penalty Box party.
What would you do?
So there's absolutely no
chance of me getting any, uh,
action on this date with Jen,
right?
Ugh, as if.
None.
In that case, I'd definitely
go for the fox.
You don't stay on first when the
coach is waving you to second.
Ew, you're disqualified.
For what?
For cheating on your fake
girlfriend, that's what.
And for using a baseball
analogy for scoring with a girl.
[Buzzer ringing]
Next.
Looks like you got benched.
[Buzzer ringing]
CAITLIN: Next.
[Buzzer ringing]
CAITLIN: Next.
[Laughing]
Aw, you brought me a vanilla
butterscotch latte.
How sweet.
That's one word for it.
How can you drink flavoured
coffee?
Contestant Number , opening
your mind to new experiences
makes for a funner date.
But flavoured coffee is just
wrong.
Never correct a girl.
Now go get me some cream and
sugar.
You're putting cream and
sugar in it too?
Wyatt.
Let's check out what
Contestant Number is listening
to.
Good idea.
[Upbeat rock music playing]
Huh?
No, turn it off.
It's a song I'm working on.
It's not done yet.
Okay, okay.
But huge marks off for that
performance.
So not up to par.
No, my song, my song.
[Both laughing]
I think he just invented a
new dance.
Seriously, guys.
[Buzzer ringing]
Next.
Very funny.
You're k*lling me, really.
[Buzzer ringing]
Next.
Now, if you were Jen's date--
Whoa, chill.
You want something to drink?
You must be sick of making juice
for everyone.
Let me do it.
Ouch.
Someone must be harshing on your
mellow.
Your shoulders are so tight.
A massage too?
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a
winner.
Jude, guess what?
We've decided you're my fake
date.
Awesome.
No way.
Jude gets to go?
Never underestimate a man
with a six-year-old snowboard,
my friend.
Gonna score me some new gear.
Look at it this way:
it's not so much that Jude won,
it's more that you two were
rejected.
I've been turned down for
dates before, but this is the
first time I've ever been turned
down for a pretend date.
It was just a matter of
time.
Hey, this is gonna make a
very awkward, painful chapter
in my book.d, painful chapter
Aw, there, there.
I'm sure all the chapters in
your book will be awkward and
painful.
[All laughing]
This reminds me of that
movie, Kung-Fu Cop Partners.
You just picked the wrong guy.
No, idiot.
He said, "You just kicked the
thong guy."
No, I saw the movie and he
said, "You picked the wrong
guy."
I saw the movie too and he
said, "You kicked the thong
guy."
I saw the movie and he said,
"Get a life."
♪
It's zero hour.
You two look great.
Make me proud.
Oh, wait.
Perfect.
Walk ever so slightly behind Jen
and whatever you do do not block
her light.
Right.
Should I hold her hand?
No!
Now have fun!
Masterson!
Oof!
Hey.
Uh, where's Dobbs?
Dobbs?
Oh, he's out getting ice.
Jude.
Yes, fake date?
Don't call me "fake date."
We need sustenance.
This could be a long night.
Get us some hors d'oeuvre.
Word-y what-ys?
Food, Jude, food.
It's free.
Food.
I can do that.
Ahh, okay, love is just a
game, right?
Right.
And I'm really good at sports.
Right!
I can do this.
Time for Round .
He says, "You just kicked the
thong guy."
That is so dumb.
Why would he say that?
'Cause he just kicked the
guy who was wearing the thong.
Admit it, you're wrong.
Uh, unless you're buying,
it's called loitering.
You wanna give me a hand?
Hey, you picked the wrong
guy.
You kicked the--
You know what?
I'm not even gonna argue with
you anymore.
You're wrong, simple as that.
There's one way to find out.
g Kung-Fu Cop Partnersis playin
at the Gigantoplex in
minutes.
Go to a movie with you?
Ha, in your dreams.
Unless you're afraid to find
out you're wrong.
You know what?
I'm gonna go to the movie with
you, just to see your face when
that line comes up.
Fine!
Fine!
Uh, did I just agree to go to
the movie with you?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I was afraid I did that.
♪
Charlie is so not paying
attention to me.
He's barely even looked over
here.
Do I have to sit here the
whole night and hold your purse?
Wyatt, how'd you score this
gig?
The guy they had lined up got
food poisoning.
How'd you get in?
It's called the Little
Squeeze.
We use it for private parties.
I just told the guy at the door
Coach Halder hired me.
How's Jen doing?
Not too good.
[Yawning]
Hmm, time for a pep talk.
Okay, focus.
Don't look at him.
Be mysterious.
He's probably just playing
hard-to-get.
Then stand on your own so he can
see--
[Gasping]
He's coming!
Hey!
Have you got any Justin
Timberlake?
[Laughing]
Sorry, dude.
I'm fresh out.
Justin Timberlake?
Aah, I love Justin Timberlake!
You do?
Oh, yeah.
I love that one, ah, "Loving You
Lately."
That is not a Justin
Timberlake song.
Oh.
Do you wanna dance?
[Groaning]
I'm going to the girls' room.
You want a lemon sh**t?
Nah, I think I'm gonna have
one of these energy drinks.
One, please.
Make it two.
Am I paying for you too?
Thanks for asking, yeah.
Could you get me a drink and a
popcorn?
You may as well supersize them.
Thanks, Nikki, you're a pal.
Gee, going to a movie with
you is like taking my
six-year-old nephew.
Ha, you must have one
gorgeous nephew.
Just make sure you go to the
bathroom before the movie
starts.
♪
Now stand over this way a
bit.
Okay, sink down so your shoulder
doesn't cover me.
What are you doing?
It feels weird down here,
man.
GIRL: Bye.
BOY: Later, Charlie.
Laugh like I said something
funny.
But you didn't.
Jude, just act like I'm the
most wonderful thing in the
world.
And stand up!
[Laughing]
Good one, dude.
Ah...
[Groaning]
♪
Listen, the line is coming
up.
Would you stop saying "The
line is coming up."
And sit still.
I have to go pee.
Could you be quiet?
[Man on screen laughing]
ACTOR : Hi-yah!
ACTOR : You kicked the thong
guy.
[Groaning]
We'll have to do that again
sometime.
The whole point was to prove
you were wrong, which you are.
Push the button.
I did.
It's not lit up.
I know, but I pushed it.
You don't have to push it.
I pushed it.
It doesn't light up.
I don't think you pushed it.
[Elevator dinging]
Oh, look, the elevator's
here.
Huh, gee, how did that happen?
Maybe it just knows.
I'll push it.
I've got it.
Ugh, you're such a-a guy.
Just leave it alone.
No, stop it.
I told you, I--
Just let me push the stupid
button.
[Crashing]
Oh, now look what you've
done.
What, this is my fault now?
We're trapped, aren't we.
It's completely dead.
Stop talking.
You're using up all the air.
I can't breathe.
You're panicking.
Just relax.
No, I need air.
We're gonna die in here.
I'm too young to die.
♪
Where's Jen?
In the bathroom again,
regrouping.
He's just one guy.
Maybe he just isn't into her?
Have I thanked you yet for
not picking me as Jen's date?
Like seven times.
Hey, have you guys seen Jude?
Last time I saw him he was
back at the energy drink table.
What's with him and the
energy drinks?
Can't he just relax and have a
good time?
[Gasping]
How many have you had?
Ha, ha, I don't know.
Fourteen?
They're free, free is good.
Love the free.
Whoa!
Whoa!
[Crashing]
I have some chamomile tea
back at Spin This I could get.
Look, it's Wyatt.
Wyatt!
We're up here!
Help!
Oh, yeah, you guys are so
funny.
My song, my song.
Laugh it up.
Where's he going?
What did you do?
What did I do?
You got us into this mess.
I don't want my book to end this
way.
"Chapter : You Can't Score If
You're Not Alive."
Here, let me help you test
that theory.
[Choking]
[Both yelling indistinctly]
♪
Jude, what's up?
Caitlin, I can, like, see
right through you.
Try to relax, Jude.
Wyatt is coming with some
chamomile tea.g with some
This is starting to freak me
out.
Yellow is mellow.
Gotta find something yellow.
Yeah!
Listen up, team.
Tonight's grand prize is a
soccer ball Palm Pilot that
plays...
♪
[Crowd oohing]
Yellow is mellow.
[Laughing]
And the grand prize winner
is...
[Groaning]
Holy--
[Screaming]
Get down!
Jude, are you okay?
Like, I'm so totally not.
Your boyfriend just ruined
the cool soccer ball thingy.
That's it, we are so over.
Here's the chamomile tea.
♪
This tea tastes like a dirty
gym sock.
Just make sure you drink all of
it.
I'm sorry I ruined the party.
Oh, it's not your fault,
Jude.
It's Caitlin's for setting the
whole thing up.
Wait a minute, I didn't spend
the whole night being mean to
Jude.
Yeah, Jen.
I think you owe Jude an apology.
[Sighing]
You're right.
And I'm gonna make it up to you.
Wow, that's so not necessary.
But I'll let you anyway.
JONESY: I'm too young to
die.
I don't wanna die in an
elevator.
Why me?
[Yelling]
Thank you, thank you.
I never in a million years
thought I'd be happy to see you.
You are beautiful!
And you're gonna get a whole
chapter in my book.
No, two!
Now arrest her.
♪
I'm almost finished the last
chapter of my book.
It's where I save our lives in
the elevator.
Do not put me in your stupid
book.
In fact, why don't you try
reading some books on the job
instead of jumping right to
writing one?
Can't, got fired.
But don't worry, you come off
looking like a complete babe.
Oh, well, in that case, carry
on Shakespeare.
Here, Jude.
I know how much you love these.
And no spit!
Sweet.
No problem.
You did have to put up with me
last night.
Ugh, just look at him.
Acting all cool, all "I'm the
hottest guy in the food court
with my sandwich."
Hey, second hottest guy.
That's it, I can't take it
anymore.
I've got to find out why he
isn't interested in me.
Wait, you're risking
rejection at point-blank range?
I can take rejection, but
I've got to know.
Charlie, I wanted to ask you
something.
Oh, hey, Jen.
This is my girlfriend, Jill.
Jill, this is Jen.
Your girlfriend?
You have a girlfriend!
That's great news!
It's so nice to meet you.
Okay, so see you at work.
Didn't you want to ask me
something?
Who, me?
No.
Wow, she really takes
rejection well.
He had a girlfriend all
along.
I'm not a total loser after all.
That's still up for debate.
Wait a second, what does she
have that I don't?
Here we go again.
Oh, man.
No, guys, I'm serious.
I'm as cute as she is, aren't I?
And I'm definitely more
athletic.
Just look at those chicken legs.
I mean, have you seen me play
soccer?
And snowboarding?
Whoa, I'm a total shred betty.
♪
01x11 - The Fake Date
Watch/Buy Amazon
Revolves around the lives of six sixteen-year-old friends who work part-time jobs at different stores within the mall.
Revolves around the lives of six sixteen-year-old friends who work part-time jobs at different stores within the mall.