01x06 - The Sushi Connection

[bunniefuu]

♪

[Kissing]

[Sighing]

I thought once I got a job

here, I'd have cute guys asking

me out all the time.

Caitlin, be patient.

This mall is practically

crawling with cute guys.

Like any guy's gonna notice

me in this butt-ugly uniform.

You got a big lemon on your

head.

[Toy g*n f*ring]

Ow!

I hate this stupid job.

Oh!

[Laughing]

MAN: See you later, Kyle.

MAN : Yeah, bye, dude.

Oh, no, Kyle's coming over!

JEN: Kyle?

Hot tennis boy, Kyle?

The one with the cute butt?

Yes!

What should I do?

Okay, calm down.

You can do this; just be

yourself.

Oh, and pretend he's just

another customer.

Just another customer....

okay.

Hi, can I have you?

[Laughing]

Uh, I mean--

Yeah, I'll have my usual.

As usual!

But, that's why you call it your

usual, isn't it?

That's a funny word, usual,

don't you think?

Uh, I'm kind of in a hurry.

Coming right up!

Oh, I'm such a loser.

[Blender running]

[Screaming]

Stop, stop!

How do you make this thing stop?

[Nervous laughing]

[Groaning]

Was that as bad as it

sounded?

[Screaming]

♪

♪ Life begins after school

♪ That's when we bend

all the rules ♪

♪ Time to hang

with all my friends ♪

♪ We like to be together

in a place where we belong ♪

♪ I'm sixteen

♪ Starting to find my way

♪ Got a new job

♪ Gonna start at

the mall today ♪

♪ Thank God I'm on my own

for the first time ♪

♪ I'm sixteen

♪ Life is sweet

♪ When you're growing up

so fast ♪

♪ You got to make the good

times last ♪

♪

♪ I'm sixteen, sixteen

♪ Got to make the good

times last ♪

JONESY: 'Sup?

Hey man, what's with the lab

coat?

You're looking at the newest

beauty consultant for

Huntington's Department Store.

It's a totally chick-centric

job.

High-end babes, all day long.

Chick-centric is not a word.

Sorry, "female-centric."

Dude, that's so gross.

How can you eat sushi?

[Groaning]

Yuck!

I don't even like cooked fish.

It really is revolting.

Have you ever actually tried

it?

No, but I don't need to try

the public bathrooms here to

know that they're disgusting.

Fine, live in ignorance, but

at least I know what I'm eating.

Those fries probably aren't even

made out of real potatoes.

Yeah, but you gotta love 'em.

[Sniffing]

The soul can not live by

nutrition, alone.

Mark my words, dude.

Mark my words.

Kyle come by?

It's official: he'll never

ask me out.

I'll always just be the big

loser in the lemon hat.

I bet he'd be a great kisser,

too.

Look, they're so in love!

It's so gross!

Ugh, promise me you'll never

turn into them.

Oh, don't worry, I'll

probably never even get a date.

Oh, yes you will.

Easy for you to say.

You work in boyville over there.

Guys are always asking you out.

Hey, if "boyville" is a word,

then so is "chick-centric."

I happen to know that Kyle

demoed a racket, and it's due

back this afternoon.

As soon as he comes by, I'll

call you, and we'll do an

accidental on purpose bump into.

It'll be perfect!

Yes!

Oh, what if he doesn't ask me

out?

Then, you ask him out.

Do guys like that?

I think I speak for all guys

when I say,

"abso-fricken-lutely."

It'd be a pretty cool move.

Oh, I'd love to stay, but I'm

late for a jean folding seminar.

If I'm still working there in

two years, just put me out of my

misery, okay?

You got it.

Oh, this is so going to work.

You're the best!

I know.

♪

[Yawning]

Oh, that's just so wrong.

Here...

Excuse me, Nikki, can I have

a word with you?

Yes?

I'm trying to help a customer.

Right, and you're supposed to

tell them they look terrific,

and that an every day vest would

compliment that look.

It's called upselling.

But, she-- or, he, looks like

a total loser.

She's got hungry butt.

We have a way of doing

things, here.

It's all written in the Khaki

Barn handbook.

I've got my copy right here, if

you need it.

It's highlighted!

No, that's fine.

Like, wow, that looks terrific

on you!

Oh, do you know what would tie

it all together, huh?

The every day vest!

[Grunting]

Are they supposed to be this

tight?

They're kind of cutting my

circulation off, a little.

[Gasping]

Ow!

CAITLIN: Hello?

Juice boy in store.

Repeat: juice boy in store.

Get down here.

Hi there.

Here to return a racket?

You got it.

My coach thinks I might play on

the tour one day.

Really?

Wow, that's amazing, Kyle!

Caitlin, what a coincidence!

You know Kyle, right?

He was just telling me all about

his wicked backhand.

Really?

I love tennis.

Oh, yeah!

Caitlin's amazing on the court.

Excuse me, miss?

I could use a little help, here.

Ow.

In a minute, Sir.

So, Caitlin, you were saying.

This new racket is really...

twirly.

What do you think of--

[Grunting]

Ow!

Ooh, that had to hurt.

Ahh, ow!

Oh, are you okay?

I b*rned your smoothie, now I

b*rned your forehead.

I'm, like, destroying your whole

day.

That lemon girl was you?

I know!

Why don't you two go on a date?

Tonight!

Uh, sure, that'd be cool.

Great, you can meet here.

How's : ?

Sure!

Sounds good.

Be sure to put ice on that

head.

[Screeching]

I have a date with Kyle!

You're the best friend in the

whole world.

I told you it'd work.

Wasn't he so cool about me

hitting him on the head with his

racket?

This is gonna be the best date,

ever.

[Gasping]

I have nothing to wear.

Okay, my shift is over in an

hour.

That leaves me exactly four

hours to find the perfect date

with Kyle outfit.

Gotta run!

Ow!

Sorry!

[Groaning in pain]

Welcome to the Khaki barn!

Have a khaki day!

[Sighing]

You're doing it wrong!

Yeah, and we don't mean that

in a good way.

You're supposed to fold it like

this.

Bite me.

[Gasping]

You're a disgrace to the

khaki code of conduct.

And you're a pain in my butt.

Girls, there's an emergency,

and I have to run.

Which means, I'm going to have

to leave one of your three in

charge.

[Screeching excitedly]

I've chosen you to replace me.

Yes!

What?

You're leaving Kirsten in

charge?

She's a half-wit.

I'm Kristen, not Kirsten.

Whatever.

She's can't run a store; if

anyone should be left in charge

here, it should be me.

It's a lot of responsibility.

Yeah, those ribbed t-shirts

can really get out of control.

Fine.

I don't have time to argue about

this.

But, if anything goes wrong,

it's your butt.

[Gasping]

Ha-ha, this is going to be

fun.

Does this dress make me look

fat?

Yes.

[Gasping]

Let's see some folding!

Move, move!

I wanna bounce quarters off

those sweaters.

We don't think you're doing a

very good job.

Yeah, you just, like, told

that girl the truth.

It doesn't say anything about

that in the Khaki Barn handbook.

And, we didn't sell the dress.

You're, like, the

khaki-nator.

Oh, good one!

The khaki-nator... oh, I like

that.

Now, get to work.

Whatever you say, ass man.

That's assistant manager!

I could fire you for that, you

know.

[Laughing]

Your name tag says "ass man."

Shut up!

[Giggling]

[Ringtone playing]

CAITLIN: Hey, I'm in the

middle of a serious fashion

crisis.

d I've been to twenty stores, an

I can't find anything to wear

on my date.

Tell me again why you're

buying a new outfit for a

perfect stranger.

Kyle is not a stranger.

I've had a crush on him for,

like, four months, now.

Plus, he always sees me in the

dorky lemon outfit.

I need to look extra not dorky

tonight.

My entire future-prom-date is

riding on this.

Cait, meet me at Huntington's

in an hour.

They got all their new spring

stuff in today.

We'll find you something.

[Gasping]

The spring line?

Yeah, that.

Meet me there in an hour, and

I'll hook you up.

Oh, thank you, Jonesy, thank

you, thank you!

Well, now that that's

settled, I've got nap to take

in store room.

I'll be back.

[Blowing a raspberry]

[Zipper rasping]

So, how's the new job going?

Are you kidding?

I'm around nothing but woman all

day.

It's the best job I've ever had.

Whoa!

I love it!

It's perfect!

Whoa, you look...hot!

[Gasping]

That's more than I make in,

like, a month.

I can't even afford half of it.

Can't you charge it?

No, my parents took away all

my credit cards, remember?

Wait!

My mom has an account here.

I could charge it to that!

You just said they took your

cards away.

Duh, I don't have to show my

card here.

They know me.

Oh, but wait...my parents will

get the bill at the end of the

month.

It's hopeless.

There is one way you could

wear that dress tonight.

There is?

What?

Nothing illegal, Jonesy.

Easy.

What I was going to say is

there's a -day return policy

here.

Yeah?

So, buy the dress, wear it on

your date, return it

tomorrow morning.

So, I get to wear the dress

tonight--

And you don't have to worry

about paying for it later.

No harm, no foul.

Oh, that's brilliant!

But, won't they know it's been

worn?

Just leave the tags on,

they'll never know the

difference.

I'll process the return myself.

Just try not to get anything on

it.

Don't worry, I'll take

perfect care of it.

All right, then.

Let's ring this baby up.

Yay!

Okay, what do you think?

You look amazing, Cait.

It's a Crispy Couture

original.

Wow, you must really like

this guy to blow a whole month's

salary on a dress.

That's the best part!

I'm just borrowing it.

I'm gonna wear it tonight, and

return it tomorrow.

It's a totally brilliant plan.

It's not totally brilliant.

It's totally stupid!

What if you get caught?

Oh, he's probably got

something super-romantic

planned, like a dinner at

Fusilli Tony's, then maybe a

romantic comedy.

Do you think he'll kiss me good

night?

Okay, girl, time to get your

game on.

Hey, how's it going?

Great!

Have fun!

Don't forget to get some tips

about his backhand.

Ha-ha, I'm good.

Hey, guys.

Hey.

What's up?

I know that guy from somewhere.

Hey, we're gonna go catch a

movie.

Wanna come?

Can't.

I'm pulling a double shift

today.

Did you see her face?

She's on a date with Kyle, and I

made it all happen!

Kyle?

I knew I knew that dude!

Hold on, that's the guy

Caitlin's going out with?

He's a total player!

Kyle?!

Kyle Donaldson.

He scored four cheerleaders,

and the coach's daughter in one

summer.

Kyle is "Dirty Donaldson?"

Wow, I thought he was just an

urban legend.

All the girls in soccer camp

knew about him.

He wasn't even allowed on the

grounds, and I just set Caitlin

up with him.

Ha, nice going Jen.

Listen up: you two are not

going to a movie; you're

following them on their date,

and making sure Caitlin's okay.

And, don't get caught!

Go!

BOTH: Sir, yes sir!

[Sighing]

♪

So, do they serve, like,

hamburgers here?

Don't worry, you'll love it.

Oh, gross, this is a sushi

restaurant!

What was your first clue?

Just order something, or we'll

get kicked out.

They make excellent sashimi.

It's called "sushi", dork.

Oh, check it out, they're

making our food right now!

[Speaking Japanese]

Hi-ya!

[Gasping]

[Screaming]

[Laughing]

He uses the Wu-tang method.

Interesting.

Dozo.

[Speaking Japanese]

Oh, okay...

[Grunting]

Mmm...

Domo.

Domo arigato.

Oh, that's sick!

This looks vegetable-y.

No!

That's...wasabi.

Oh, no, she didn't just do

what I think she did.

♪

[Retching]

[Laughing]

I can't believe you ate that!

Here, here, eat some more fish.

It'll take the sting out.

Mmm, good...

Dozo.

Dude, mine's still alive.

Ah, so!

Rock and roll teenager.

Don't be stupid

I swear, man, it moved!

Ola, mi amigos.

Got the "emergency fries"

message.

I don't think they recognize me.

[Panting]

Nice!

Oh, yeah, that's good.

What message?

Text messaging.

Live it, love it.

Gross.

No wonder you called.

♪

Welcome to the Khaki Barn!

Have a khaki day!

[Child screaming]

[Shoppers chattering]

Where did all these people

come from?

It's the mid-season's

midnight madness sale, today.

Didn't you check the schedule?

What schedule?

We don't have a schedule.

Ugh...

[Phone ringing]

What?

It's me.

Have you heard anything from the

boys, yet?

Not yet.

Can I just say, this entire town

has gone crazy?

Everyone is shopping here.

Don't you have any style of your

own?

Everyone has those.

I know, that's why I want

'em.

[Whistling]

Are you okay?

[Screaming]

Hold on a sec.

Excuse me, what's the hold up

here?

They've been in there for a

half hour.

What do you think this is,

the movie theatre?

Out, out, out!

[Screaming]

And, what happened to the merino

wool fall sweater display?

Hello?

There's sixes in with the

twelves.

That's, like, six size

differences in one pile.

There's no order!

According to the manual, it--

[Gasping]

Oh, no, I'm turning into

Chrissy!

No!

KYLE: Hey, thanks for paying

for dinner.

I can't believe I forgot my

wallet.

No problem.

It was...interesting.

[Belching]

Sorry.

So, where are we going?

It's a surprise.

Hey, hurry up!

Oh, my gosh, this is so

romantic.

I've never been surprised,

before.

Okay, open your eyes!

[Gasping]

It's the biggest indoor

rollercoaster in the world, and

I've got free passes.

We can ride all night!

Cool...

Oh, hello!

Stay focused, Jonesy.

C'mon gorgeous.

Okay, I would, but I get

totally sick on rollercoasters.

Huh, well, I guess I'll have

to go alone, then.

You can sit with me.

I changed my mind.

This isn't so big.

I can do this.

Cool, let's take the front

row; it's the best ride.

Time to move in.

I thought rollercoasters made

Caitlin sick.

Guess she got over it.

Oh, yeah, here we go!

What was the name of this

ride, again?

"The Vomit Comet."

All right!

Rock and Roll!

♪

[Screaming]

[Vomiting]

Nasty!

What's your problem?

Ugh, my new boot-cut chinos!

Nasty.

[Crying]

[Groaning]

Yuck!

Oh, my lord!

Kyle, wait up!

Well, our work here is done.

Hey there, beautiful.

Ew, is that sushi.

[Screaming]

Dude, if I didn't stink of

puke, I totally could have

scored her.

Sure, Jonesy.

Kyle, don't go!

But, I barfed for you!

[Crying]

He said that was the worst

date he's ever been on in his

life.

Guess I really messed up, huh?

Hold on.

Did he even ask you if you liked

sushi?

Or, rollercoasters, for that

matter?

No, he didn't, actually.

Then, he deserves to get

chunks blown all over him.

The guy's a jerk!

You can do so much better.

What were you guys doing on

the same ride as I was, anyway?

Movie was sold out.

We love rollercoasters.

So, you weren't checking up

on me?

Well, maybe a little.

I can't help it, I hate that

guy.

Me too.

I even borrowed this stupid

dress, just for him.

[Gasping]

Oh, no, the dress!

No worries, I spent two days

working at a dry cleaner's once,

remember?

So, wanna go grab something

eat?

I promise, nothing fishy.

Sure, but only if you guys

change, first.

You reek.

[Phone ringing]

Hello?

Just calling to see if you

and Caitlin got away with your

little crime spree.

Naw, I got fired.

I tried to clean it last night,

but the thing stunk up the whole

store.

Turns out that sushi barf is

pretty permanent.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Whatever, I wasn't that good

at makeovers, anyway.

Everyone ended up looking like

Gollum.

I like that dude.

Dude.

Dude.

What, no sushi today, Mr.

Sophisticated?

Do not say that word while

we're eating.

You know, I never really

liked sushi that much, anyway.

Somehow, this just tastes

better.

You see?

Soul food.

Told ya, man.

Jonesy, phone.

So, Nik, are we gonna let Kyle

get away with being such a major

jerk?

Don't worry, he won't be

getting many dates in the near

future.

Wow, it's like they were meant

for your body!

You don't think they're too

tight, or too high cut?

Oh, trust me, girls love that

look.

You'll be b*ating them off with

a stick.

Cool, I'll take two.

[Clicking tongue]

♪

♪