01x22 - Enter the Dragon

[bunniefuu]

♪

Excuse me, coming through.

Looking foxy for an older chick.

[Patting]

Ooh, Harold!

And, action!

.Hello, fans of extreme skating

Today, I will be executing a

tasty, front nose, rail slide

down the escalator.

Followed by a melon , if I

don't k*ll myself.

"Jude, has this ever been

attempted at the mall before?"

No Jude, it hasn't.

[Chuckling]

"Then we're in for a treat."

Yes, Jude, we are.

[Chuckling]

♪ [Rock music blasting]

Groovy.

[Hollering]

Huh?

[Laughing]

Could someone please press the

emergency stop?

[Thumping]

Hmm.

♪

♪ Life begins after school

♪ That's when we bend

all the rules ♪

♪ Time to hang

with all my friends ♪

♪ We like to be together

in a place where we belong ♪

♪ I'm sixteen

♪ Starting to find my way

♪ Got a new job

♪ Gonna start at

the mall today ♪

♪ Thank God I'm on my own

for the first time ♪

♪ I'm sixteen

♪ Life is sweet

♪ When you're growing up

so fast ♪

♪ You got to make the good

times last ♪

♪

♪ I'm sixteen, sixteen

♪ Got to make the good

times last ♪

[Laughing]

You're a Taurus, right?

You know it!

You mess with the bull, you get

the horns.

Know what I'm saying?

Oh yeah, there's some kind of

bull at this table.

Got that right.

Want to be my matador?

I think I'll pass.

Okay, Taurus.

"A compliment to a friend could

lead to great things.

Look for new job opportunities."

A new job?

Boo-yah!

You hear that?

Wow, another job.

Another brilliant way to get

fired.

Oh, this astrologer is really

good.

Actually, she predicted that

I should never date a Taurus,

ever.

Very wise, and, may I say,

you are looking exceptionally

fine, today.

Oh, brother.

And may I say, you're looking

very fine today, too.

For you, anyway.

Get out of my face.

Ow!

Way to put the horror in

horoscope.

Are you looking for a job?

I am, and, may I say Jen,

you are looking exceptionally

fine today.

Save it.

Coach Halder is reorganizing the

stockroom and we could use some

part-timers.

Will heavy lifting be

involved?

Just moving boxes and stuff.

Yeah, Jen, see, lifting

things violates my religion.

Jonesy worships at the temple

of external slack.

Just trying to help you out.

I better go, break is over.

Yeah, I should get back to

work, too.

I have to dust all the lemons.

You dust the lemons?

Business has been slow.

Gotta bounce, later.

See ya.

Khaki Barn's having their

annual "Look Like Everyone Else"

sale this week.

So?

So, nothing.

I just heard the Clone Queen

saying she was looking for an

extra part-timer.

Heavy lifting?

Not that I do.

It pretty much just folding

sweaters.

Cool, but I don't know how to

fold sweaters.

I could give you a crash

course, after we close.

I don't know.

You and I working together.

Well, you know, don't come if

you don't want to.

No biggie.

No, I'll be there.

Cool.

Cool.

♪ [Rock music blasting]

Whoa!

[Groaning]

How's it going?

Are you okay?

Awesome.

Can you help me up?

Ow, ow, ow.

Speaking of pain, I've got to

get back to the Tacky Barn.

See ya after work.

Check it out, Nikki setting

me up with a gig at the Khaki

Barn.

Awesome.

But, dig this, you know what

Nikki said when I told her I

didn't know how to fold

sweaters?

They have a sweater folding

machine?

No, she said--

Hold on, a sweater folding

machine?

What are you six?

Dude, if they can build a

device to clap on and off

lights, they can build a sweater

folding machine.

So, anyway, Nikki tells me to

come by after work so she can

teach me.

Cool.

Alone.

So that's what's been stuck

in there.

Mmm, cherry!

Dude, don't you get it?

She wants me.

You think every girl wants

you, bro.

I know, but Nikki's

different.

Remember last week, when we went

to the movies?

She was practically trying to

sit on my lap!

Yeah, 'cause you took her

seat.

Well, how about when we went

out for drinks at the Banana

Shack?

She paid for my Spunky Monkey.

You left your wallet at home.

I'm telling you, dude, she's

got Jonesy-vision!

Okay.

So what's the problemo, chief?

Do you like her?

Sure, I-I like her.

I-I-I like you too, so what?

You like her, like her, don't

you?

Jonesy and Nikki kissing in a

tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

Shh!

[Gasping]

[Sniffing]

What are you doing?

When a dude's really into a

chick, they give off these vibes

that you can, like, smell.

I think they're called

Fartamones.

That's the freakiest thing

I've ever heard, dude.

It's true.

[Sniffing]

Dude, you stink.

Okay, I like her.

But if you say a word about this

to anyone, you're a dead man!

Chill, dude!

Your secret is safe with me.

I mean it!

[Sniffing]

I have to find Jen.

She'll know what to do.

If Jonesy and Nikki start

dating, we are completely

screwed!

Why, what's the big deal?

Because, if they start

dating, they are inevitably

going to break up.

And when they do, we'll be

the ones stuck in the middle.

We won't be able to go out as a

group--

We'll have to choose sides!

I won't be able to use the

word "Jonesing" in front of

Nikki anymore.

It will be a total disaster!

Are you sure Jonesy's serious

about Nikki?

I'm a girl, of course I'm

sure.

And is Nikki serious about

Jonesy?

Uhmm.

[Snoring]

I don't know, but that's why we

are here.

To find out?

To make sure it doesn't get

that far.

Wait here, we're going in.

What about me?

Girl talk, no guys allowed.

Aw, come on.

Look, do you want us to find

out, or not?

Hey Nikki!

Hey girl!

[Groaning]

So, has Jonesy asked you to

baby sit his youngest brother on

Saturday, yet?

Yeah, you know, little

Marshall, the one who likes to

hit things, hard!

Especially the baby sitter.

No, he hasn't.

Oh, because he's asked all of

us.

He's been begging us, it

isn't pretty.

Only a crazy person would

agree to baby sit that little

monster.

We just wanted to let you

know, if he tries to bring it up

and ask you, change the subject

quick!

Thanks for the tip.

No problem.

See ya!

Bye!

You're smooth, sister.

It's a gift.

So what happened?

Did you find out if she likes

him, too?

No, but if Jonesy tries to

ask her out, he won't stand a

chance.

ALL: Yes!

Now, any monkey can fold a

sweater, even you, but what

separates us from the clones, is

that we choose not to.

See?

You give it a try.

Yeah, ah, just a sec.

♪ [Pop music playing]

Aw, tell me he didn't just

put on Dogtoy.

It is her favourite band.

Smart play, Jonesy.

Darn it!

We should have smashed the CD

player.

Hey.

What are you doing?

I thought, while we were here

alone, we could, you know, get

our groove on.

Sure, I guess.

Do you want to try unfolding

these sweaters?

Maybe later.

Okay, so, do you have any

questions?

Yeah, actually I, uh, see--

Are you okay?

Okay?

I'm amazing!

I mean, what are you doing

Saturday night?

All right, hold it right

there, cowboy.

I know what you're doing and you

can forget it.

The answer is no and please,

don't beg.

Man, that was a little harsh.

Yes!

Mission accomplished.

So, if you could only have

three things on a deserted

island, what would they be?

[Scoffing]

I can give you three things

I'd banish to a deserted island.

Sorry Nikki, we forgot about

you!

[Laughing]

[Groaning]

Do you think that the problem

might be that when the camera is

on, you tense up a bit?

Yeah, I think I get a little

tense.

"Why not just pretend like the

camera isn't there."

Dude, brilliant idea!

Hey, how about a sour lemon

Pucker?

Sure.

[Sniffing]

Eww, what is that disgusting

smell?

It smells like, gym class!

Oh, it must be the Raging

Heat muscle cream I rubbed on my

shoulder.

It's sore from lifting all those

boxes in the stockroom.

Oh, I hope it's worth it!

It's what they put on

football players so that they

can keep playing with broken

legs.

Poke me in the shoulder with a

straw.

Shove over, incoming

customer.

[Sniffing]

[Gagging]

You chased away all my

customers!

You can come by all stinky, any

time!

So, obviously Jonesy will

chase anything that's female.

But, I mean, the Clones?

What's with that?

I--

You don't think he likes

them, do you?

Nuh-huh.

I mean, they're clones!

You said that already.

Oh yeah, but you didn't see

him with them.

There's this big love fest in

there.

I don't get it.

Why?

Well--

You know what?

Never mind, I don't care who

Jonesy spends his time with.

She's hooked.

Like a wide mouthed bass.

Totally into him.

We cannot let them get together,

do you hear me?

This calls for drastic action.

For my next stunt, I will

attempt an extreme Ollie tail

,grab defakey, double heel flip

body arial follow by a Zurich

alley-oop five over the

fountain.

I will now pretend the camera

isn't here.

[Chucking]

♪ [Rock music blasting]

Whoa!

Uh-oh.

[Screaming]

[Groaning]

Jude, are you okay?

If you're thinking about

hitting a janitor cart sometime

soon, I would strongly advise

against it.

Good to know.

Aw, man.

Even in my damaged state, I can

tell these Stick-Its are rank.

Actually, you might be

smelling my shoulder.

Didn't see that one coming.

My shoulder was sore, so I

put Raging Heat cream on it.

"Good for aches and pains

associated with sporting

injuries."

It's banned in Europe, so you

know it's good.

Hmm.

I can't do it with you watching.

Okay, okay, I've got to get

back anyway.

Just remember, you only need a

dime size amount.

It's really concentrated.

Oh, yeah.

Hmm.

[Chuckling]

[Laughing]

So, have you decided which

one of us you wanna take for

lunch?

I don't know.

You can pick either one of

us.

It wouldn't matter.

Sorry clones, he's already

got a lunch date.

Come on.

Hmm!

Hmm!

Hey, whoa, are we going out

for lunch or the hundred meter

dash?

Where you seriously thinking

about going out with one of the

clones?

You mean one of my

co-workers?

People do have lunch with people

they work with you know, Nikki.

How would you know?

You've never worked anywhere

long enough to have lunch.

Besides, they're pod people.

Pod people who said, "yes"!

Is this about that baby

sitting thing?

That, what?

Oh, forget it, let's just

eat.

Uhm, you should have warned

me we were going out.

I would have stretched.

[Sniffing]

Those Stick-Its are nasty bro.

I can't believe you're not

eating.

You're the one who wanted to go

out for lunch.

It has to qualify as food

before I eat it.

Pass me some napkins.

This is one mean burrito.

Yeah, just so long as I don't

hear from it later.

You want a bite?

No.

Have a bite.

No, I don't want any.

Argh, Jonesy!

You got it on my clothes!

Sorry, pass me some more

napkins?

Never mind, I'll do it.

No, I'll get it.

[Gasping]

Oh no!

[Phone dialing]

You're rubbing it in!

I'm erasing it.

You're spreading it!

Hello?

Kate, we have a Nikki and

Jonesy code red.

Repeat code red!

Meet me in the food court.

Bet you wouldn't have slopped

food on Chrissy.

Would you relax?

Why are you being so mean?

Why are you hitting on the

clones?

What do you care?

You said you wouldn't go out!

I said, I wouldn't baby sit

for--

What?

You want to go out with me?

No.

Well, I did.

So, okay, let's go out.

Okay.

When?

Well, now's as good a time as

ever.

Don't we have to go back to

work?

You have so much to learn

about the Khaki Barn.

[Panting]

I got here as fast as I

could.

You just missed it.

Major pre-date activity

happening.

Oh no!

Where'd they go?

Towards the amusement park.

Uh-oh.

Maybe I used a little too much.

Whoa.

Uh-oh.

[Screaming, cheering]

Are you serious?

You're scared?

Heck, yeah!

But don't tell anyone, okay?

[Screaming]

Oh, they're so on a date.

Better call for

reinforcements.

Is that Jen and Caitlin down

there?

BOTH: Hi Jen!

c Nikki: Hi Blondie!

JONESY: Hi Caitlin!

Oh sh**t!

They saw us.

Hello?

Wyatt, find a way to leave

work.

We have a definite situation

here.

I'll call Jude.

[Phone ringing]

[Grunting]

Hold on, dude!

Keep ringing!

[Groaning]

Okay, they just bought

tickets to the new romantic

comedy.

Uh-oh, I've seen this one,

major mush factor.

We have to work fast.

Ready?

Ready as I'll ever be.

Let's go.

LEADING MAN:Forget about the

others.

LEADING LADY:Darling, hold

me close.

Hey guys.

Oh my gosh, I didn't know you

guys would be at this movie.

Great seats, guys.

Popcorn, Caitlyn?

Oh yeah, hand it over.

Pop?

Thanks, so thirsty!

Pop?

No thanks, dude!

Got mine.

What are they doing here?

I don't know.

Oh, I love this part!

This is where she kisses him for

the very first time.

Want some popcorn?

Thanks!

Liquorice anybody?

[Slurping, munching]

LEADING MAN:I love you.

LEADING LADY:And I love you.

JUDE: Ah man, what am I going

to do?

My mouth is still working.

Bonus!

I completely forgot I had a

mouth there for a second.

Okay, no need to panic, use my

mouth.

Okay, I need to panic.

Don't worry about walking out

early, I can tell you how it

ends over ice cream.

Some other time, maybe.

I know how not knowing how a

movie ends can bug you.

Right now, that's not what's

bugging me.

Look, the Stick-It is empty.

Where's Jude?

I don't know, come on.

But I called him earlier and

there was no answer.

He always answers.

We don't have time right now.

[Gasping]

Look, it's empty!

If Jude used that much, he could

really be in trouble!

We can't let them out of our

sight!

Let's go!

[Grunting, wheels squeaking]

Heart muscle, don't relax.

You keep going in there, heart

muscle dude.

Stanley, is that you mini dude?

Yeah.

I need you to go to the

Penalty Box and get Jen.

Can you do that, buddy?

How much you got?

There's a fiver in my back

pocket with your name on it.

[Sniffing]

You stink.

[Arcade sounds ringing]

[Laughing]

Wyatt, what happened?

I don't know, they kind of got

away from me.

I didn't know what to do!

[Gasping]

They're going to kiss.

[Laughing]

No!

We have to stop them.

There's nothing we can do,

now.

It's over.

[Screaming]

It's Jude!

Jude!

[Grasping]

Hey.

Are you okay?

I can't use my arms.

Get him up.

You're going to be okay.

Guess that's it for tonight.

Yep, you really know how to

show a girl a good time.

[Whispering]

Jude, you're a genius!

I'll get you some water.

Huh?

I'll try to find an antidote.

Maybe some coffee will help.

Be right back.

Maybe some time we can lock

all these guys in a closet and

try again?

Oh, no!

Weirder things have happened.

Coach said the important

thing is to keep your blood

circulating and drink plenty of

water.

Water, gotcha.

[Slurping]

How's the patient, doctor?

The heat cream should be out

of his system in about eight

hours.

Eight hours?

Maybe sooner if you work it

out.

I'll help you, bro.

Me too.

Up you get.

Hey, isn't that the

unmistakable aroma of those

Fartamones things again?

[Sniffing]

Uh, no.

I think that just Jonesy's

burrito.

Well guys, here's to a job

well done.

Way to keep them apart.

We were so clever.

They didn't stand a chance.

Great movie choice, by the

way.

A chick flick?

I was trying to be a

gentleman.

I thought chick's dig them.

Well, maybe the clones.

Sorry dude, I was aiming for

Nikki.

No worries dude, that butt

cheek's still asleep.

[Laughing]

Stick-it?

Don't mind if I do.

You look like you're all

better.

Yeah, I can feel every part

of my body again.

Just don't be doing it in

front of us, okay?

These Stick-Its are great!

Yeah, they melt in your

mouth.

That's because I used the

best meat tenderizer ever!

[Sniffing]

I think I recognize the

spice.

[Gasping]

Jude!

You didn't!

I shall never reveal the

Colonel's secret recipe but I

can tell you it's the choice of

football players everywhere.

Gross!

Eww!

Aw, man!

Dude?

Nice!

I can't feel my lips.

♪