01x19 - The Swami

[bunniefuu]

♪

JEN & CAITLIN: Happy

birthday!

[Groaning]

Okay, okay, that's enough!

What?

Today is your birthday, right?

Yes, and I hate birthdays,

so can we just forget about it,

please?

But, how can you hate

birthdays?

Because my parents insist on

throwing theme parties every

year.

That sounds like fun!

Yeah, except that it's a big

family.

All the good themes were snapped

up years ago.

So, just be creative!

That's the problem.

They're a little too creative.

Tell her.

Two years ago, the theme was

"Diseases We're Glad We Don't

Have".

And last year's was "The

Colour Brown".

All the presents, drinks, food,

everything was brown!

Brown-atrocious!

So, what's this year's theme?

"Trailer Park Party".

Oh, that's bad.

Yeah, the only good thing

about Serena being out of town

is that she won't see me wearing

it!

Well, I'm gonna make sure you

have an awesome birthday this

year!

That's nice, but no thanks.

It's officially beyond your

control!

Come back here at six and be

prepared to have fun!

Fine... as long as I don't

have to pretend to like it.

[Beeping]

Yes!

Hey, dude, nice hat!

You like it?

Knock yourself out.

Seriously... right on!

Stylish!

[Slurping]

Mmm, cream soda!

This is gonna be a long day!

[Sighing]

[Burping]

♪

♪ Life begins after school

♪ That's when we bend

all the rules ♪

♪ Time to hang

with all my friends ♪

♪ We like to be together

in a place where we belong ♪

♪ I'm sixteen

♪ Starting to find my way

♪ Got a new job

♪ Gonna start at

the mall today ♪

♪ Thank God I'm on my own

for the first time ♪

♪ I'm sixteen

♪ Life is sweet

♪ When you're growing up

so fast ♪

♪ You got to make the good

times last ♪

♪

♪ I'm sixteen, sixteen

♪ Got to make the good

times last ♪

Did you see how bummed he is?

We have to Wyatt an awesome

birthday!

Maybe we should just take him

out for burgers and milkshakes!

No, this has to be really big

if we're gonna get his mind off

Serena.

And his icky family party.

House of Dread, how may I

direct your call?

We're conferencing, hang on.

[Phone ringing]

Fruit World, can I help you?

Hey, it's me and Nikki.

How's the new job going?

I'm a giant banana.

How goes it at the Barn?

Oh, you know, mindless,

endless boredom, the usual.

JONESY'S BOSS: Jonesy!

Are you on the phone!

Is that against store policy?

JONESY'S BOSS: Yes!

Then, no.

'Sup?

It's Wyatt's birthday and

we're gonna throw him a huge

party!

Cool!

Nikki, you're on gift detail.

Done, I'll grab him a DVD.

Jonesy, you're the caterer!

I'm thinking... coffee slushes

and a bunch of junk food.

No can do!

First day on the job and I don't

get off until six!

JONESY'S BOSS: Jonesy!

I thought I said no phone calls!

You're fired!

Well, that was quick.

So, you can get the food now?

I'm on it!

Great, be at the Lemon at

six.

Cool!

Cool!

Cool!

I'll get a giant card and the

wrapping paper, and Jude...

Jude!

What?

Can you get the birthday

cake?

Oh, maybe you can get one

with a picture airbrushed on it!

Good call!

So, whose picture should we put

on it?

Wyatt's, Jude.

Ha, right!

So, that's everything!

Wyatt's gonna be so excited!

This was a great idea, Jen!

SALES LADY: Welcome to the

Khaki Barn!

[Groaning]

Whatever you want I'll pay,

just help me please!

My time is very valuable!

$ .

Can we set up some sort of

instalment plan?

With your credit rating?

I told you, I'm not helping you

study for the geography exam.

But you always help me!

Yeah, and I always get

b*rned!

[Gasping]

Since when!?

'Kay, let's see.

Well, there's the time you fell

asleep while I was talking--

Okay, but--

And the time you spent the

whole afternoon hitting on the

girl beside us in the library!

That's different, she was

hot!

Hmm.

But... I've learned from my

mistakes!

Come on, if you don't help me

I'm gonna flunk; I'll have to

repeat the course!

Again!

Ugh... fine I'll do it!

Yes!

If you admit, once and for

all, that I'm smarter than you.

No way!

Well, suit yourself!

If you don't mind, I have some

very important folding to do.

Come on, there must be some

other way!

'Fraid not!

You're cruel, you know that?

Cruel!

Mm-hmm!

Ugh... okay... Nikki...

You're smarter than me.

Ugh, like you mean it!

Okay, okay, you're smarter

than me!

You are!

Nikki's smarter than me!

That's better.

Oh, and it's "smarter than I".

[Sighing]

Nice, instant street cred

point!

[Slurping]

Lighting is key to any good

party.

Think we can rent a disco ball?

Ah, that might be overkill.

No, don't go there!

Aw, dude... you went there!

Okay, what are you doing?

Playing my new game:

Simu-Mall!

Those games are such a waste

of time!

Yeah, oh, my simu character

sat on the simu couch and drank

simu coffee!

How thrilling!

This is different!

I've set the game up to be a

perfect replica of our mall and

everyone in it!

See?

[Grumbling]

There's a simu Lemon?

Yep, and there's the whole

simu g*ng!

[Laughing]

Anyway, back to the party.

What about scented candles?

Hmm.

Why aren't you getting any

customers at the simu Stick It?

I don't know, but simu

Jude's hurting!

No cheese, no cheeseburger!

Uh, Jen...?

Maybe it's because the simu

trash in the simu Stick It is

totally piling up!

Look!

[Gasping]

I'll just make simu Jude get

rid of it!

[Beeping]

Cool!

Wow, I wish it was that easy

in real life!

[Sniffing]

[Flies buzzing]

NIKKI: The Swiss terrain is

distinguished by...

An overabundance of

yodellers?

Look, I could be getting

Wyatt's birthday present right

now!

But geography is so boring!

Um, I know, I passed this

course last year, remember?

SALES LADY: Excuse me?

[Knocking]

How did those khakis in sizes

, , , , and fit?

Uh, do you have a size ?

SALES LADY: I'll look in the

back!

Ha, nice!

There is no , but she'll be

looking for hours!

Just you and me again.

Uh, okay, back to the books!

Okay, but if I answer the

next question right, you have to

answer a question for me!

Yeah, okay... what provinces

do the Rocky Mountains cross

into?

British Columbia and Alberta.

Wow, you actually got one

right!

Okay, so now you have to

answer one.

How come we haven't gone out on

another date?

What?

Uh, I don't know.

Next!

You know we connect.

Jonesy, we're supposed to be

studying!

You're single, I'm single...

Can we not talk about this

right now?

Fine, but you know you want

me.

Yeah, okay, whatever.

On to France.

Ah, the city of love!

Country, Jonesy, country!

Mm-hmm!

Ugh.

[Beeping]

Nice.

Good!

Uh-oh!

No!

[Sighing]

[Slurping]

Refill!

[Slurping]

You guys have to stop this!

We've got cakes to buy, cards to

sign, decorations to--

[Gasping]

Why is simu Caitlin wearing

that heinous sweater?

You don't like it?

Do you want me to look like a

librarian?

Change it!

The only way to do that is to

make simu Caitlin go shopping!

You can shop?!

Start on the fourth level.

They get all the new collections

first.

[Gasping]

Is that simu Prada!

Oh, go there, go, go, go, go!

Jonesy!

Jonesy!

Ugh, maybe we should go

somewhere less distracting!

[Chattering]

[Sobbing]

Much better!

Check it out!

It's simu Wyatt but in real

life!

Don't tell me you're all

becoming simu nerds!

Shh, we're just about to

score a better table at the simu

food court!

Correction, you already are

simu nerds!

Whoa, simu Caitlin just

passed simu Wyatt on the cool

scale!

What?

It's because of my new

fashions!

Good clothes open doors.

Well, what if simu Wyatt was

fronting a band?

I'm on it!

Nice!

I should go.

See you guys tonight!

Right.

Yeah.

Later.

Aren't we supposed to be

doing something?

Look, we won the simu

lottery!

We're rich!

[Screaming]

Madrid, Spain; Sofia,

Bulgaria; and Bern, Switzerland.

You just correctly named

every country and capital in

Europe!

I did?!

Yes, who's the man!

Oh, no!

It's six already!

Uh-oh, Wyatt's birthday!

Ugh, nice work, Jonesy!

What, you're the one who lost

track of time!

Maybe instead of blaming me,

you should be getting the

snacks!

Well, maybe you should be

buying the DVD!

Uh...

All right, I'm here, do your

worst!

Huh?

You said to be here at six

for the birthday t*rture!

I'm here.

Uh... I... uh... said : !

No, you didn't.

Yes, she did, she said : ,

I heard it!

: !

And you almost ruined your

surprise!

Now go away and... uh, come back

in half an hour!

All right, I'll be back.

You're going to love it!

I promise!

He's gone!

[Screaming]

Come on, simu Jude, we've got

work to do!

[Screaming]

Please, just one card!

Any card!

Oh!

Come on!

No!

[Groaning]

Come on... ugh!

Okay, the card store was

closed, but at least we've got

everything else!

I guess.

We did get everything else,

right?

[Sighing]

Oh, no!

What are we gonna do?

Wyatt will be back soon!

All right, that's it!

I'm officially taking this party

over!

Now, didn't I see a party going

on somewhere already?

Yeah, at Albatross and Finch.

So?

Hmm.

Oh, no way, Jonesy, we'd

never pull it off!

Why not?

We could what?

Why not what?

Pass it off as a party for

Wyatt.

There's no way, he'll never

buy it!

I know the store!

I worked there for two days, I

can get us in.

We'll never fit in!

All those Albatross people are

so snobby!

We can do this, guys!

It'll be hard, sure, but if we

succeed, it'll go down in

history as the single greatest

party scam of all time!

Now, who's with me!

I am with you, dude!

For Wyatt!

JEN: For Wyatt!

CAITLIN: I'm in!

NIKKI: Me too!

Slammin', let's rock this

party!

[Cheering]

JONESY: What's with all the

wedding gear?

It's a bridal shower?

I'll admit, the wedding thing

is a bit of a setback.

You think?

But we proceed as planned!

Agreed, just act snooty and

get rid of any suspicious

decorations!

Wyatt will never know this isn't

really his birthday party.

Right.

Oh, yeah, it's foolproof.

Whee!

Ohh!

Check it out, this party even

comes with munchies!

Ow!

Good job, now all we have to

do is find the bride-to-be and

shove her into a closet!

I'm on her!

Ugh, let's spread out.

We've got lots of ground to

cover.

Right, Nikki and I will take

the back of the store.

Jude, you take the front.

Jen and Caitlin, you've got ten

minutes to work the middle and

then go to pick up Wyatt.

Go!

[Popping]

[Whistling]

[Smashing]

No way, Jude!

Don't worry, I've done this

before!

[Crashing]

[Gasping]

You know the only things I

hate more than birthdays are

surprises!

[Grunting]

Jude, stop playing that game!

Yeah, this is important!

The game can wait!

Fine, I'll make sure they

eat, then put it down.

Promise.

Fine, just hurry!

Where is he?

Wyatt?

[Gasping]

We lost him!

Guys, a little help?

Whoops, sorry!

Some people just can't handle

party games!

Okay!

[Gasping]

No way!

All this is for me?

Duh, of course it is, silly!

Come on, let's get you a soda!

Ugh!

What do you think you're

doing?

Some jerk forgot to decorate

the buffet table!

Can you believe it?

Oh, well, yeah... okay, keep

up the good work.

He's here!

I can't get over how many

people came to wish me a happy

birthday!

You're a popular guy!

Thank you so much for being

here!

Wouldn't miss it for the

world, man!

Something like this only happens

once in your life!

If you're lucky!

[Slurping]

Ah, quality refreshments,

dude!

Who is he again?

Uh, that was... you know, the

dude from that thing last

summer?

Oh, hey, pretty girl!

Do you know Wyatt?

No.

Hey.

Hey!

Today is Wyatt's sixteenth

birthday!

Great, wanna grab something

to eat?

Sure!

Dude, Wyatt's got a

girlfriend, remember?

I know, but we needed a

distraction!

Whoa, you really picked a

good one!

Whoa, this must've cost a

fortune!

You're worth it!

Why do the chocolates look

like brides?

Mmm... good!

[Chomping]

She's a real chocoholic.

It's a problem.

[Belching]

So, how do you know the g*ng?

And why is that girl wearing

that thing on her head?

[Coughing]

[Choking]

Ew, gross!

[Popping]

How's it going?

So far, so good.

He met a hot chick!

I hope she's not the bride!

JONESY, HIGH PITCHED: So,

just give me one good reason why

you don't wanna go out with me?

Jonesy!

Come on, we've been over

this!

It's not that I don't want to.

So, you do want to!

Sweet!

No, I didn't say that--

Oh, no, looks like you need

backup!

Come on!

Hey, how's the birthday boy?

Ugh, distracted!

Whoa!

[Crashing]

What was that?

Uh... um... hey!

I'll bet I can stuff three

drumsticks in my mouth at once!

How cool is that, eh?

Right...

Your friends are kind of

weird, Wyatt.

Let's go grab a drink!

[Coughing]

Grab me a pop!

I'll be right back.

[Laughing]

Great party, guys!

Just one question, why is the

party here?

Oh, um...

Because, it was the last

place you'd ever think we'd have

it!

I can't believe how many

people you got to come out to

this!

Well, Jonesy's pretty

persuasive!

[Gasping]

Presents?

Guys, you shouldn't have gone to

all this trouble!

Oh, man, we're fried now,

dude!

Wyatt, over all, you've had a

good time, right?

So, maybe we should head out!

But you got all these amazing

gifts!

They're almost too nice to open!

You're right!

Better to savour them now and

then open them next week!

No way, I can't wait that

long!

Sure you can!

Look, Jonesy, Wyatt found the

presents!

Great, but you don't want to

open them now!

So uncool!

Hey, look who I found!

It's Jill!

Don't you want to talk to Jill

instead of opening that silly

present?

Come on, guys, just one!

Uh... thanks...?

Happy birthday!

Yay!

Happy happy!

Um, am I missing something?

I was just wondering the same

thing.

Uh....

Cake, cake, cake!

CHANTING: Cake!

Cake!

Cake!

Cake!

Cake!

Cool, bring it on!

[Gasping]

[Screaming]

[Splatting]

Mmm, that's good icing!

[Laughing]

Napkin?

Okay, it's time for the guest

of honour to come up here and

say a few words!

[Cheering]

CROWD CHANTING: Speech!

Speech!

Guess I'd better say

something!

Wait!

[Screaming]

Oh, no, he's not going to...?

He is going to!

I can't watch!

Ahem, thanks everybody!

This party was awesome!

I've always hated birthdays, but

after tonight, I think I

actually like them again!

You guys are all so great!

AUDIENCE MEMBER: Dude, who

are you?

[Sobbing]

What are you doing?

This is my bridal shower!

[Gasping]

Guys?

[Laughing]

Run!

[Sobbing]

Wyatt--

I don't want to hear it!

Okay, we messed up royally,

but we had good intentions!

See, this is why I hate

birthdays!

We just wanted to give you a

nice one for a change!

So, you h*jacked a bridal

shower, choked down all their

food, and risked getting caught

all in some deluded effort to

give me a happy birthday?

Hey, that's pretty cool!

You can have your hat back if

you still want it.

[Groaning]

You know, as ridiculous as

this gift is, I think I'll keep

it.

Maybe I was being too hard on my

parents.

If you ever need anyone to

look after it, you just let me

know.

Thanks, you guys may not

believe this, but this is one of

the best birthday parties I've

ever had!

Wyatt, that's really sad!

Psst... all clear?

It's cool, Wyatt forgives us!

Nice, because I have a little

surprise for everyone!

It's a little squashed, but mmm!

It's tasty!

Sweet!

♪

Jude, man, we need to talk.

Check it out, simu Wyatt just

released his first video, bro!

Jude, this is an

intervention.

An inter-what-tion?

You need to stop playing!

It's for your own good!

Hey, I can quit at any time,

dude, and I will...

Right after simu Jude becomes

king.

Yeah, uh, we're gonna have to

confiscate the game now.

Guys?

No way, dudes!

Wait!

Stop!

My baby!

Dude!

So, will you go out with me

or not?

What do you think?

Seriously, I think you're

chicken.

You know what, I am chicken!

That's it, I'm scared of

screwing this up!

Screwing what up?

We haven't done anything yet!

No, this.

The six of us, I don't want to

mess this up, y'know?

Yeah, I guess I get it.

But it's still sucks, right?

Hmm, maybe a little.

Ow!

I got you!

[Laughing]

♪