01x18 - Bring It On

[bunniefuu]

♪

This magnificent mall offers

something for everyone.

From high fashion to the latest

electronics, and even an

amusement park.

How did you get a job

assisting on W-VU TV?

Hard work, talent and good

looks.

[Laughing]

Oops.

No, seriously, how did you get

it?

His uncle works at the

station.

Ah, now that makes sense.

Thank you for joining me this

week on Mall TV.

CAMERAMAN: And clear.

[Sighing]

You nailed that.

Yeah, get me a coffee, would

you?

Yes, ma'am.

With soy milk, no dairy.

It makes me bloated.

Right.

Let's get out of here.

Meet me at the truck.

We still need some B sh*ts of

the mall.

Ugh, do you have any idea how

uncomfortable four-inch heels

are?

Well, actually...

I could take some sh*ts of

the mall for you.

Ever used a camera?

Sure, tonnes of times, I'm a

filmmaker.

What films have you made?

Uh, documentaries mostly.

They're totally acclaimed.

Give him the camera.

Hello, new career.

Hm, now how do you use this

thing?

♪

♪ Life begins after school

♪ That's when we bend

all the rules ♪

♪ Time to hang

with all my friends ♪

♪ We like to be together

in a place where we belong ♪

♪ I'm sixteen

♪ Starting to find my way

♪ Got a new job

♪ Gonna start at

the mall today ♪

♪ Thank God I'm on my own

for the first time ♪

♪ I'm sixteen

♪ Life is sweet

♪ When you're growing up

so fast ♪

♪ You got to make the good

times last ♪

♪

♪ I'm sixteen, sixteen

♪ Got to make the good times

last ♪

JONESY: And dolly in to see

everyone bored to death without

Jonesy.

[Laughing]

Are you sure you should be

playing with that thing?

JONESY: I know what I'm

doing.

Uh, you're not filming us,

are you?

JONESY: They told me to get

some sh*ts of the mall, but I've

got bigger plans.

Oh, no, is this the one where

you have some sort of get rich

quick scam?

I've already seen it.

Laugh now, but I could be the

next big director.

And I'll make all of you stars

in my show.

Thanks, I'll pass.

Why?

You'd be great on camera.

Oh, I could give you a

makeover.

Listen carefully, I will

never willingly submit to a

makeover.

CAITLIN:Oh.

Ever.

Film her, she's the group

ingénue.

This is so exciting.

I'm gonna need a new outfit.

Be back in a bit.

Isn't she supposed to be

working?

I give you a sh*t at fame and

fortune, and all you can think

about is work?

I'm going to find Jude.

Explain what you're doing to the

camera.

What we'll be preparing today

are Stick Its.

hThe main ingredient in the dis

is the stick.

yMake sure they're really point

at one end.

After you stick them into some

kind of meat, you put them on

the grill.

nThen you have to keep an eye o

them so they don't overcook.

Sweet.

Mm, wrap it up, dude.

We're burning film here.

Okay, let's kick it up a

notch.

[Screaming]

Whoa, fire, dude, fire!

Whoa, whoa, quick, move to

the side, you're wrecking the

sh*t!

[Screaming]

Fire, dude, dude, the fire is

spreading!

I know, this is great TV!

And cut!

That was awesome!

What do I do now?

It'll be at least a week before

they can fix this.

I've got it.

Close the Stick It and be my

on-air colour commentator.

Dude!

Welcome to Jude-vision.

Buckle your seatbelts, 'cause

it's gonna be an--

[Thudding]

Oh, ouch.

Right, now go get me a latte,

no foam, it makes me bloated,

and meet me back at the lemon.

Are you gonna film me getting

it?

No.

What do you think?

Too much material.

I wanna see you, not the dress.

[Sighing]

How many more days of high

school do we have left?

A lot, what's wrong?

I'm failing a course.

Big whoop, I'm failing two.

What course are you failing?

Never mind, it's too

embarrassing.

Come on, we won't laugh.

Yeah, much.

Come on, cough it up.

No.

I said no!

Let us see, it's no big deal.

Yeah, you big wuss, let me

see.

No way!

Hey!

Okay, bio, A.

Literature, A.

Nice A on the calculus, dude.

[Gasping]

No way, physical education, F?

You're failing gym class?

[Laughing]

Wow, I didn't think you could

fail gym.

I know, it's humiliating.

You suit up, you kick a few

balls and you keep your eyes to

yourself.

How hard is that?

Hold on, time out.

What do you think?

What is this?

This is all wrong.

Too boring and serious.

I thought it looked

professional.

Boring and serious.

Try again.

[Sighing]

How come I don't want a

coffee, but I have to get one

for you?

It's called paying your dues,

bro.

I thought we were supposed to

be thinking up new ideas for

shows.

We are, and I have.

What do people love more than

anything else?

S'mores?

Hockey?

Reality cop shows.

Dude, good one!

Come on, we've got footage to

capture.

Carry this and hand me a fresh

tape.

You forgot your coffee.

I didn't really want it, I

just wanted you to get it for

me.

Oh.

I've got an idea, come on.

[Screaming]

What you're about to see is

actual footage of rent-a-cops

on patrol.

All right, miss, what's the

problem here?

Nothing.

Nothing, eh?

That's your story?

Yes.

Here's your free taco, sir.

I pay for this with my

sweat.

Napkin?

Napkins are for pansies.

Yuck!

Ew.

Tennis is easy.

It's all about hand-eye

coordination.

Did I mention I have none of

that?

Don't worry, we'll start with

something simple.

Just take the ball and gently

tap it over to me.

Okay, I'll give it a try.

JEN: Ow!

Sorry.

Looks quiet enough, doesn't

it?

Yes, Officer, it appears

quiet.

But lurking beneath this

thin veneer of civility is a

depraved army of violators,

waiting to be unleashed.

Boys, we've got a - in

progress.

This is it, we're going in.

We're now in pursuit of some

- guy.

Stop, you scumbag!

Huh?

[Screaming]

You think you can take this

mall and turn it into your own

private garbage dump?

Not on my watch, soldier.

He's reaching for his

medication!

Get down.

This is now official evidence.

You can't do that!

I'm the law around here, son.

Step away from the cart.

[Siren blaring]

Great, now we have to start

from scratch.

Chill, dude, we'll think of

something.

[Groaning]

I can't think of anything, bro.

[Sighing]

What did I tell you about

tennis?

Didn't I say, "Jen, I can't play

tennis"?

Just go find me some ice.

Fine.

[Whistling]

Now that's what I'm talking

about.

You don't think it's too

skimpy?

Watch your mouth.

There's no such thing as too

skimpy.

Okay, when do I start

filming?

As soon as we think of a

show.

How about a show about people

who suck at tennis?

I said I was sorry.

No, you've gotta have drama.

People getting att*cked by an

animal, or anything involving

power lines.

Yeah, or tricking people and

filming them.

That's funny.

Jude, that's it!

You're a genius.

I am.

Yeah, Prank TV, starring

Caitlin and Jude.

It'll be a huge hit.

Oh, I'm so in.

Who are we gonna prank first?

[Laughing]

Nikki.

CAITLIN:I could give you a

makeover.

Listen carefully.

I will never willingly submit

to a makeover.

Ever.

You're gonna go on a

girly-girl date and convince

Nikki to get a makeover.

Cool!

JUDE: Dude!

Wait, she'll never let me do

that.

She will if you trick her.

But if she finds out, she'll

k*ll me, won't she?

Let me tell you a little

secret.

Inside Nikki, there is the heart

of a girly girl.

And that girly girl is just

dying to get out.

Nikki will thank you.

Okay, I'll do it.

Well, count me out.

Those shows are so evil.

Fine, but if she talks to

you, just play along or you'll

ruin the whole gag.

Okay, okay.

Oh, I smell an award.

Dude!

Jude!

Oh, brother.

JONESY: And action!

Hey, dudes and dudettes,

welcome to Prank TV.

Our victim is Nikki Wong.

Our accomplice, her friend,

Caitlin.

iCaitlin is going to trick Nikk

into a day of bikini waxes and

dress shopping.

And Prank TV will be here to

capture it all.

Okay, we're going in.

Our camera is ready, and here

comes our accomplice.

It's boogie time.

[Sobbing]

Caitlin, what's the matter?

Remember that guy that I

liked?

Uh, what?

He broke up with me!

[Sobbing]

y Okay, uh, I thought you onl

went on one date.

Yeah, but I really liked

him.

I know, I know, it's okay.

I thought I was falling

in love with him.

[Sobbing]

What are you staring at?

Um...

[Sobbing]

Come on, just take your time.

No one's gonna bug us in here.

Is there anything I can do?

Well, there might be one

thing.

But you wouldn't want to do it.

Try me.

Well, I could really use a

distraction, you know?

I really don't wanna be alone

right now.

I could get the afternoon

off.

Then you'll spend the day

with me and let me do a makeover

on you?

Ooh, that would be so fun!

Whoa there, do I look like a

spa person to you?

Please?

[Sighing]

This is it, she's gonna do

it!

Tell her to hurry!

Gimme a bit more height.

[Grunting]

There is absolutely no other

way to get your mind off this

guy?

Not that I can think of.

[Sighing]

Okay.

Yay!

You're gonna love this.

I seriously doubt that.

[Laughing]

She did it!

High five me.

[Grunting]

You left me hanging with the

high five, bro.

Not cool.

[Groaning]

JEN: Wow, you really do suck

at sports.

I told you, the only things I

liked to do as a kid were play

guitar and video games.

Thanks anyway.

Wait, which video games?

I was great at "Invasion from

Mars."

The one where you block all

those Martian bombs from

hitting Earth?

Yup, I had the highest score

in fifth grade.

Wyatt, that's it!

It wasn't about the sport, it

was about the position.

You want me to play hockey?

I told you, I can't skate fast

or stop.

You don't have to to be

goalie.

You just have to have quick

reflexes.

Suit up, we've got training to

do.

Come on, let's go.

Prepare to be pampered.

I'm not really the right

person for this.

Of course you are.

There's a girl inside of you,

just dying to come out.

Okay, fine.

Come on!

[Sighing]

Ahem!

Darth, do you have a lens that

would be good for, say, spying

on people?

Sure, I've got a few of them.

[Laughing]

Oh, you mean for sale here in

the shop?

Uh, yeah.

Let me see.

This is great for peering around

corners and sneaking up on

people without being noticed.

According to the brochure.

[Laughing]

This will do just fine.

Snap!

So, what do we do in here?

We relax, and they work on

our feet.

Good afternoon, girls.

[Clapping]

Shoes off.

We'll need to see your toes if

we're going to paint them.

[Gasping]

Let me fetch the nail clippers.

I might have something big

enough in the maintenance

closet.

Isn't this fun?

You will look incredible when

this is finished.

Incredibly hideous.

[Laughing]

This is gonna be so decent.

Keep sliding it out.

We've gotta get footage of

Nikki.

Okay, your turn, gorgeous.

Snake!

[Screaming]

Snake, snake!

Retract the device, retract!

Plan B.

NIKKI: I've had enough of

you!

[Screaming]

I have never heard language

like that from a client.

Well, you'll hear plenty more

if you touch me again.

I'll bring you your clothes.

Dude, that was the scariest

thing I've ever seen.

Did you get it all?

Every second.

Here you go.

Follow me.

Ew, oh, gross!

Hm, which one do you like

better?

Gee, I don't know, they both

suck equally to me.

[Whistling]

[Laughing]

Your makeover is almost over,

but we need one more thing.

Bikinis!

Uh, no.

This would look so hot on

you.

Ooh, try it on, try it on, try

it on.

Ugh, does your girly day

really have to be this girly?

[Whimpering]

No, it doesn't have to be.

[Sobbing]

Fine, let's get this over

with.

Yes, she's so awesome!

Come on, we've gotta get this.

[Laughing]

♪

I thought we were filming

Nikki.

Just keep crawling.

Jen, you have to save me.

CAITLIN: Let me know if you

need a new size.

Ugh, I don't know how much

longer I can do this without

k*lling her.

We're bikini shopping.

You can't leave her now.

Caitlin told me about...that

guy.

She's in a very, uh, fragile

state.

See, you rock at being a goalie.

I don't think you understand

the sacrifice I'm making here.

She'd do the same for you,

and you know it.

So just suck it up and let her

finish making you over.

[Sighing]

Okay, this prank stuff has gone

too far.

You've got to go rescue her.

Sure.

So how'd I do?

Are you kidding?

You stopped every single puck

from going in.

Is that good?

Yes!

Now get that gear off and go

help Nikki.

Yes!

[Knocking]

Have you got it on yet?

[Groaning]

Come on, girl, strut your stuff.

Well, what do you think?

[Sighing]

Excuse me, you're blinding

everyone in the store with your

whiteness.

Grrr!

That's it!

[Sighing]

Come on, I think I heard

something this way.

[Flatulence sounding]

Oh, dude, did you have a

chili bowl for lunch?

Nope, chili fries.

[Laughing]

[Flatulence sounding]

Oh, dude!

No one said being famous was

easy.

[Flatulence sounding]

[Grunting]

CAITLIN: Everything okay in

there?

No, I'm stuck.

[Sighing]

Stop, it's Lycra.

The harder you fight it, the

tighter it gets.

[Grunting]

NIKKI: It's cutting off my

circulation.

This is it, I see Nikki.

Hubba hubba.

Don't panic, keep breathing.

How did you ever get such a

small size on?

Do you want to die in a

change room?

Ugh, this is never gonna work.

We need scissors.

I'll get them.

[Thudding]

Oh, it's stuck.

Hello?

Help!

WYATT: Nikki, are you in

there?

Wyatt, what are you doing

here?

Jen said you might need some

rescuing.

Understatement of the year.

The door's stuck, can you get it

open?

I'll try.

[Grunting]

No, definitely stuck.

I need you to hold me.

Dude, a duct is the last

place I feel like getting

romantic.

Hold me while I lean down to

get the sh*t, fart knocker.

You should talk, fart

knocker.

Maybe if I get some leverage.

That's good, a little lower.

This is so not worth dying

for, dude.

CAITLIN: If you'd hold still

I could get your top off.

Okay, so maybe it is worth

it.

[Laughing]

Dude, I don't have a very good

grip.

I have the bikini.

You pull on her.

Okay, one, two, three, pull!

[Grunting]

[Crashing]

[Screaming]

[Groaning]

Jude?

Jonesy?

Nice bikini.

[Gasping]

Wait a minute, were you in

the ceiling filming us?

Jonesy, you never said you

were gonna do that!

Hold on, you knew about this?

Ooh, ahem, well, a teensy

bit.

And your little fantasy boy,

Joe?

She made him up.

I don't believe this.

Jonesy made me do it.

Um, if you can't get that

off, you're gonna have to buy

it.

[Screaming]

Everybody out, out, out!

Okay, I think that's a wrap,

everybody.

[Screaming]

Pedicure, leg wax, bikinis!

Shiatsu, mud bath, seaweed wrap!

So, when exactly do you think

Nikki will be thanking me for

this?

Ow!

This is the thanks I get for

trying to make her a star.

Can I at least buy you a

smoothie?

Oh, it's going to take more

than that to make up for what

you put me through.

You're right.

You know, I don't really think

you need a makeover.

Really?

Oh, no, you look totally hot

the way you are.

Hey, guys, what's up?

Oh, look who's here.

Come near me with that camera

again, and I'll shove it

somewhere painful.

Relax, they took it away from

us.

Fired again, huh?

If you consider getting

caught in the girls' change room

and busting the camera just

cause, then, yeah.

Hey, guys, good news.

I have a goalie for your Sunday

night hockey league.

Who, Jude?

You?

JEN: No.

Nikki?

JEN: Uh-uh.

Caitlin?

No, Wyatt.

Dude, you actually found

something you're good at?

It's amazing, I know.

Hey, what's that stuff all over

your arm?

I don't know, some slimy

stuff I spilled on myself at the

spa.

Was it warm when you spilled

it?

Yeah.

I know how to get that off.

But we can't do it here.

Cool, let's go.

I think there are someone else's

hairs in it.

Ew!

Ugh.

You in on this?

Oh, yeah.

Mm, so you can get this stuff

off or not?

There is only one way.

Don't worry, it's quick.

Just relax.

Cool.

[Ripping sound, screaming]

[Laughing]

Welcome to girly-dom, Jonesy.

♪