04x18 - The Creature with the Big Feet

[bunniefuu]

[squishing]

-What the heck is that noise?

-I don't know.

I called Dennis to

breakfast a few minutes ago,

but that doesn't sound like him.

-Maybe he has a new pet.

-A pet?

-Well, he's always bringing

home stray cats and dogs.

Maybe he brought home

a stray elephant.

-I wouldn't put it past him.

-Morning mom.

Morning dad.

-Dennis!

Whe-- Where did you

get those awful things?

-I sent away for them.

Aren't they funny?

-Very funny.

Why don't you ever send

away for something useful?

-Useful things

aren't any fun, dad.

-Oh, I don't know, Henry.

Those might be very useful.

Hand me one of them,

would you, dear?

Thank you, dear.

Now, you see Henry, if

Dennis doesn't sit right down

and eat his breakfast, this

would make a dandy paddle.

[theme music]

-Fielding is like

all publishers.

Always complaining.

No matter how good my articles

are, he's never satisfied.

-Hold still, dear.

Write something more

colorful, he says.

Something more

exciting, he says.

What does he want

for $ . a word?

Hemingway?

-Hold still, dear.

-Well, if he thinks taking

us to dinner at the hotel

is going to make up

for his snide remarks,

he's very much-- [grumbling].

-Oh, I'm terribly sorry John.

Now dear, if you'll just hold

still, that won't happen again.

You know, Mr. Fielding

does have a point.

That last article you did wasn't

exactly Nobel Prize stuff.

My Friend the Guppy?

-Well, I was stuck for

a subject that week.

-Oh, you were indeed.

Dennis running over

here all the time.

I-- I couldn't even

think that weel.

-Poor little Dennis.

He gets blamed for everything.

-Boy they sure

are funny, Dennis.

You should've worn

them to school today.

-I will tomorrow.

Hey, let's go over and shows

Mr. Wilson how they look.

Mr. Wilson!

Mr. Wilson!

-Eloise, if there's one

thing I do not need today,

it's Dennis Mitchell.

Let's go.

[knocking]

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN):

It's me, Dennis!

-You could at least go tell him.

-Don't let him hear your voice.

We'll be late.

[knocking]

-Nobody home, huh?

-I guess not.

-Aw heck.

-I sure did wanna surprise him.

Hey, wait a minute.

Maybe he's out

back by the garage.

OK dad.

I'm ready to go.

-Oh no.

Dennis, you are not wearing

those ridiculous feet

to school.

Now take them off

right this minute.

-Aw heck.

-You know perfectly

well your teacher

won't let you weae those.

-OK mom.

We wouldn't have much

time for them anyhow.

We're getting off at noon today.

-Oh, how come?

-They're having some kind

of a teachers' meeting.

-Oh.

Well, be good boys

today, both of you.

-Bye sweet heart.

-John, did you see this

article in the second section

about the monster?

-No.

What has my editor done now?

-Not Mr. Fielding.

It says here Bigfoot

monster strikes again.

-Oh, that, yeah.

-Mr. Watts, who has a farm in

the hills out west of here,

heard a commotion in his

barnayrd Tuesday night,

and when he rushed outside,

he heard some huge creature

running away through the brush.

-Oh sure, sure.

-The monster, which had stolen

a pig but dropped it in flight,

left huge, manlike

tracks measuring

nearly two feet in length.

-Eloise, that story

crops up every year,

and the monster

always steals a pig.

-Yes, I know, but it--

-Did the farmer see it?

No.

Nobody ever sees it.

They just hear it crashing

through the bushes.

-Well, that's true, but--

-Mysterious monster

strikes again.

Bigfoot.

What is it?

Is it man, or is ti beast?

I'll tell you what it is.

It's a lot of baloney.

Now, coming out?

-You know, John, this

picture could be real.

-When you just hang on to

your childlike faith, my dear.

All I can say is--

Jump Johowsefat!

-You don't have to be

insulting about it.

-It's him, Eloise!

He was here!

In our yard.

-What?

-Ld Bigfoot, the-- the monster.

He was in this yard last night.

-Oh.

Oh dear, John.

Look, there's another one.

-What a story, Eloise.

Yes, by George, this

will shut Fielding up.

He wanted something with

excitement in it, did he?

Well, I'll write

him a story that'll

make his hair stand on end.

How I Trapped Old

Bigfoot, by John Wilson.

-John, you're mad.

-I've got to call Fielding and

get him out here right now.

Well, that's enough

pictures, Mr. Fielding.

Now I'll erase the footprint

so no one gets wind of it.

-Protect your story.

Good.

Very smart.

-Oh, you've no

idea how important

that is in this neighborhood.

This little boy next door here.

If he ever saw those

footprints, he'd

spread it all over the state.

-You really think you can lure

this monster back here, do you?

-I am not only going

to lure him here,

but I hope to capture him,

tonight, alive and unharmed.

-Oh, that would be something.

If I had a story like that,

real eye witness stuff,

I could build a whole

issue around it.

You'll have it, Mr. Fielding.

I will capture the

monster and you

will have the scoop of the year.

Oh, you chubby little rascal.

Oh, bigfoot is gonna love you.

Come on.

[squealing]

-Stop squealing.

Get out of there.

Come on.

[squealing]

-Sh!

You'll have the whole

neighborhood coming

around to see what's-- Come on.

Come on.

Come on, you big ham.

Get out of there!

Come on.

-Hi Mr. Wilson!

What you got there?

-Oh, for heaven's sake, Dennis,

why aren't you in school?

-We got off at noon.

Oh boy.

A pig!

A real, live pig!

What are you gonna do

with it, Mr. Wilson?

-I'm not going to

do anything with it.

I'm-- I'm just going to keep it.

-Where are you gonna keep it?

In your back yard?

-Yes.

Yes, in my backyard.

Go on.

Run along.

Run along.

-Hey, Mrs. Elkins, look

what Mr. Wilson's got.

A pig.

A real, live pig.

He's gonna keep it

in his back yard.

-What?

[squealing]

-Wha-- Of all the

outrageous things to do,

turning our neighborhood

into a pig sty.

-Now, look, Mrs. Elkins, I have

enough trouble without you.

-I'll help you get

him out, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh, this is the last straw.

I realize you and that

pig have a lot in common.

-Oh, go peddle your

vitriol some place else.

It's none of your business.

And if you think you're

going to tell me what to do.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): Go on, boy!

Go on!

Get out!

-You're going to hear about

this, you-- you big pig!

-Jeepers.

I didn't mean to make your

pig so nervous, Mr. Wilson.

I was just trying

to help you get--

-Dennis.

Just go home.

Go on home.

Come on.

-I've got him where I

want him this time, Mable.

I'll have John Wilson

put in jail for this.

-I'm glad to hear it.

-The idea of keeping

a pig in his backyard.

Why, it's in

violation of at least

four different ordinances.

And he turned me in

for keeping cats.

-I remember.

Have you called the police?

-Well, not until I

get an airtight case,

Mable, and you can help me.

Now, tonight you and I will

sneak into Wilson's backyard

with my camera and take a

picture of the pig itself.

Then I'll take that picture

to the city attorney,

and that will fix John Wilson.

-And I was only trying

to help with the pig,

but he got pretty mad.

-He gets mad awful easy.

-Yeah.

I'm going over in

his house right now

and telling him that I'm sorry.

-I'll go too.

Maybe he'll give me

a dime to go on home.

-Then I'm going to cover this

over carefully with brush,

and I'll tie the pig

over there to a stake.

Then when Bigfoot comes in

here, he'll tumble into the pit,

and I've got him.

-This must've been

a terrible job.

Dear, you should have hired

someone to dig it for him.

Now, you're not used

to this kind of work.

-Eloise, I couldn't hire anyone.

I couldn't take a chance.

If the news gets out

about what I'm doing,

we'd be overrun with people.

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN):

Hey Mr. Wilson!

Mr. Wilson!

Wilson I came to tell you--

-Wow, look at that.

-Oh, for Pete's sake.

-What you digging, Mr. Wilson?

-A hole?

-Of course it's a hole, Seymour.

[phone ringing]

-There's the phone.

I'll get it.

-What you digging

for, Mr. Wilson?

-Buried treasure?

-No, I'm not digging

for buried treasure.

I was digging for a gopher.

-Gopher?

-Boy, he must be awful deep.

-Yes, but he got away, so I'm

all through with that hole now.

There's nothing going

on here now at all.

-John.

Mr. Fielding's on the phone.

-Oh, thank you dear.

Run along, fellows.

Run along.

-I think he's still

kind of mad, Dennis.

-He's pretty tired

from all that work.

Hey, I got a teriffic idea.

We're gonna do the swellest

favor Mr. Wilson ever had.

Boy, will he be happy.

-I followed the

same technique used

by African big game hunters.

Careful, now.

Careful.

It's gone.

My pit is gone!

Where is it?

-Perhaps you've been robbed.

-But it was here, Mr. Fielding.

You can see the loose dirt,

and outline of the hole.

I-- it's been filled in.

-Who'd have done that?

-When things go

wrong, there can only

be one possible answer Dennis!

-Hi, Mr. Wilson!

Oh, you found what we did huh?

-Yes, we found it.

Why did you do it?

-Just because we're friends.

You don't even have to pay me.

It was for free.

-I'll take a dime.

-Oh, well the-- Dennis, I

wanted the hole left there.

-You did?

But you said you'd stopped

trying to catch the gopher.

-Gopher?

-Well, there-- there

wasn't any gopher, fellas.

-Then what did you

did the hole for?

-Well, I'll level with you.

I, I told a little

fib so you would

know there was a prowler

in our neighborhood.

I was afraid it might alarm you.

-A prowler?

-Yes.

Somebody who's been

sneaking around here

at night looking

for things to steal.

And, well, I dug the pit

for him to fall into.

-Jeepers, I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson.

Can we help you

dig the hole again?

-Oh, never mind.

I'll handle it.

You just go on.

-Am I gonna get the dime?

That's not a dime, Mr. Wilson.

That's a penny.

Thanks.

-That was quite a story

about the prowler, wasn't it?

Perhaps you should

stop writing articles

and try your hand at fiction.

-Well, I couldn't tell them

about the big footed creature.

They'd blab it all over town.

Well, there's only

one thing left to do.

We'll have to dig

ourselves another pit.

-Not we, Wilson.

You.

I'm strictly a spectator.

-Boy, this sure is

exciting about the prowler.

Sure wish we could catch him.

-Yeah.

You think digging a hole's

the right way to do it?

-Well, they'd have to be awful

stupid to fall in a hole.

-Boy, I'll say.

-Hey, why don't we

go ask Sgt. Mooney?

He'd know.

-Yeah.

Catching crooks is his business.

-Come on, let's go.

Aren't you coming, Seymour?

-No.

I'm gonna spend my dime.

-When are you gonna give me

I've had nothing out

of you for weeks.

-Oh, sure you have, Mike.

I called you a couple of days

ago when I made an arrest.

-I said news.

Who cares about you giving your

mother a ticket for jaywalking?

-That was my aunt.

-Hi, Sgt. Mooney.

-Well, hello there, boys.

What can I do for you?

-We want to know

what you'd do if you

were trying to catch a prowler.

-OK.

I don't mind giving

away trade secrets.

First thing I'd do would be

the throw out the dragnet.

-How you do that?

-It's easy, Tommy.

You get a dragnet,

and you throw itt out.

Right, Sgt. Mooney?

-That's the idea.

You know, if I'm

not careful, you'll

be taking my job away from me.

-What a break for the city.

-If we caught a prowler,

would we get a reward?

-Oh, sure you would.

We pay $ apiece for prowlers.

That's top price.

-$ .

Oh, boy.

-You got any particular

prowler in mind, Dennis?

-Yeah.

The one Mr. Wilson's

trying to catch.

-He's gonna set a trap for

him tonight in his backyard.

-But I get we get the reward.

Thanks for telling us about

the dragnet, Sgt. Mooney.

-Bye.

-Come on, Tommy.

-Bye.

-Good bye.

-Is that John Wilson

they're talking about?

The writer?

-That's him.

A real nervous nelly.

He probably saw a cat one

night, thought it was a prowler.

-Oh, sure.

Hey, suppose he

did see a prowler.

If you tried to catch

him, the poor dope

could get himself k*lled.

After all, it takes

a professional lawman

who knows his business

to catch a prowler.

-Where can we find one?

-A prowler?

-No, a lawman that

knows his business.

-Well, I-- well, I think

I'll stake out near the house

tonight and keep my eyes open.

You want to come along?

-For what?

-Well, if there

is a prowler, you

can get some pictures

of a real cop in action.

-OK.

Count me in.

If I get one sh*t of you

standing up, that'll be news.

-Boy, it sure is

lucky your folks

had these old tennis

nets, Seymour.

-Yeah.

They'll make a swell dragnet

when we get them tied together.

-We'll sneak up in the

treehouse tonight after dinner.

If that old prowler

comes along, we'll

throw the dragnet out

right on top of them.

-We'll get old

Bigfoot, Mr. Fielding.

If I do say so myself,

I've done a magnificent job

of camouflaging this pit.

You'd hardly know it was there.

-Sure looks great to me.

-Lucky we have a dark night.

Good things there

isn't any moon.

-Oh, this is so exciting.

I feel just like Dr. Livingston

in the jungles of Africa.

Oh, you dainty

little ordeuvre, you.

-Did you have to

wear your nightshirt?

Whoever saw a policeman

in his nightshirt?

-If you don't like

it, I'll take it off.

-Leave it on.

I never saw a policeman with

his clothes off, either.

Come on, let's go

up in the treehouse.

-We'll go down this driveway and

hide behind Mitchell's garage.

That'll give us a good

view of Wilson's patio.

-OK, Sherlock.

And if you see a prowler,

you know what to do.

-Sure.

Give you artificial respiration.

-We'll sneak into his

patio from the back.

-Oh, I do hope we get

a picture of that pig.

-Oh, we'll get it.

We'll really fix

that dear Mr. Wilson.

-Old Bigfoot will be here soon.

I just know he will.

-This might give

you a bonus, Wilson.

-Oh, thank you.

-Yes.

This should be quite a story.

-And it's all mine.

Nobody knows that

anything is going on.

-I don't see a prowler yet.

-Achoo!

-Stop sneezing, Seymour.

You'll scare him off.

-I can't help it, I'm drafty.

-Be careful with

that platter, dear.

It's our best china.

-I know.

It makes me nervous.

I'll put it up in

the cupboard here.

-What's the matter?

-I thought I saw someone

moving out by the garage.

-Well, it looks

like two figures.

-I better go check.

-No, Henry, it

might be dangerous.

-Oh, I'll take care of myself.

-W-- Wait a minute.

-Hey, there's somebody

down there, Dennis.

-Wait'll he gets under the tree.

-Can't see a thing.

-Oh, I can smell a pig.

We'll find him.

[squealing]

-Bigfoot.

Come on.

Through the living room!

-Sounds like somebody's

getting m*rder*d.

-Probably Wilson.

Come on.

Come around this way.

-I wonder who yelled over there.

Hey, maybe it's another prowler.

-Ours is under the tree now.

-Throw out the dragnet!

HENRY (OFFSCREEN): Help!

Help!

Help!

-Look out for the couch.

-Let's get on, dear.

[squealing]

-Mable!

The man's got me!

Let go of me, you beast.

-I don't know what this

is, but it's great.

-Mrs. Elkins, what are

you doing down there?

-Well, I'm trying to

get out, you fool.

-Jeepers, there must be a

w*r going on down there.

-Wilson.

-John.

Oh darling, you're safe.

-I- I never dreamed you cared.

-Help!

-What's going on, Mitchell?

-Beats me, Mooney.

Help!

Help!

-Well, come on.

Get out of that net.

I gotta arrest somebody.

Help!

Help!

What have I done?

-Well, Dr. and Mrs.

Livingston, I presume?

-Say cheese.

-Seems like everybody's

looking for that prowler.

-Yeah.

Boy, this is more fun

than the fourth of July.

-That confounded photographer

is making me a laughingstock.

And look at that picture

of you and Mr. Fielding.

And that vulgar caption.

How to keep a publisher happy.

-He seemed happy.

-Well, he wasn't this

morning when I called him up.

He may never give me

another assignment.

-Now, I think poor Sgt.

Mooney has more reason

to complain than you have.

-He should complain?

He's threatening to-- to arrest

me for disturbing the peace.

-That's my favorite picture.

Quite good of you.

-The latest thing in love nests.

Disgusting!

-Weren't you comfortable, dear?

-That woman has bones in

some of the strangest places.

-Poor John.

Once more I-- I

failed to capture

the monster with the big feet.

-Aw.

-Here you are, dad.

-Thanks.

I wonder if Mr. Wilson will want

to see anybody this morning.

-After last night, he'll

need some cheering up.

-Yeah.

He didn't enjoy himself

half as much as I did.

-Nor I. There's

nothing like having

your own son throw a

net over your head.

-Come on.

-Wait a minute.

I just thought of something.

-Dennis, hurry up.

-Wha-- What do you

want with those things.

-They're funny looking.

Maybe these'll help

cheer Mr. Wilson up.

You and mom go ahead.

I'll put them on.

-Well, anyway John, I'll bet

we scared that prowler off.

-Well, Henry, it's too

late to keep my secret now,

but there wasn't any prowler.

-What was the pit for?

-Well I was trying to catch

a strange creature that

left prints on our patio.

A creature with enormous feet.

-E-enormous feet.

-If that hullabaloo hadn't

broken loose out there,

I-- I'm sure I would

have caught him.

-Look what I got, Mr. Wilson.

I wore them over here the other

day, but you weren't home.

Aren't they funny looking?

-Fine.

They look fine.

I lost an opportunity to

trap a grotesque monster.

A chance to become famous.

I fail to see that my loss

is any laughing matter.

Oh no.

No!

-Why don't you laugh

too, Mr. Wilson?

You're the one I wanna cheer up.

[theme music]