04x20 - Dennis Goes to Washington

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Dennis the Menace". Aired: October 4, 1959 – July 7, 1963.*
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Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.
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04x20 - Dennis Goes to Washington

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[music playing]

-We know you can do it, Dennis.

-I'm sure glad you

think so, Mr. Mayor.

-Now let's run

through what you're

supposed to do in

Washington just once more.

-All right.

I'm gonna talk to our Senator--

-Senator Philbin.

-That's right and tell him

all those woods and lakes

and streams around

Hickory Mountain

would make a swell National

Forest where men like dad

could take fellows like

me on camping trips.

-Good.

Good.

That's why we picked a boy

your age to do the job.

To show them how much we need

a spot where our children can

get away from the city streets

and be close to nature.

I'm proud of you.

I was just going over some

last minute instructions

with our young goodwill

ambassador here.

-Dennis will do his

very best Mr. Mayor.

We appreciate the

confidence you have in him.

-Oh, I'm sure he'll

dramatize our point

much better than

any adult could.

-Oh, and Allison

I can't thank you

and the committee enough

for paying our way too.

-Well, a boy needs his

parents to watch over him.

-Boy me, and mom, and

dad, and Mr. Wilson

are going to have a swell time.

-Mr. Wilson?

-Oh, our neighborhood,

John Wilson.

He writes for a

national magazine.

Sold his editor on the

idea of coming along

to write an article on what

Dennis does in Washington.

-Well, splendid.

-Oh dear.

It still won't close.

-Oh, I'll help you honey.

-Please feel free to call

on me from Washington

if you need any help or advice.

As mayor of this community,

I do carry some weight,

and it might come

in handy there.

-Your weight might come in

handy right here Mr. Mayor,

if you could just sit on that

suitcase mom can't get closed.

[theme music]

-Yes, Mr. Winfield.

Just what you ordered.

An article on how one

small boy with a just cause

can influence the

cause of Congress.

The voice of a child

heard on Capitol Hill.

That should justify the

payment of my expenses.

eh Mr. Winfield?

Right.

Bye.

That takes care of my editor.

Well, did I forget anything?

-No dear, I'm proud of you.

You even remembered your socks.

-I wish you were

going with me, Eloise,

but they only offered

to pay my expenses.

-Don't you worry about me.

You just get a good story.

-If I wasn't going, there

wouldn't be a story.

I'm the one who'll put our

National Forest bill across.

-Not Dennis?

-Well frankly, his

appointment with our senator

has only sentimental value.

But I know I can depend

on my influential friends

such as Senator

Beaufort, Judge Kingston.

Dennis may get the glory, but

I'll be the power behind him.

-You know dear, it's too

bad we don't have time

to buy you a size suit.

-I wear a .

You know that.

-Yes, I know dear, but you're

a much bigger man in Washington

than you are here.

-Mr. John Wilson, Mr.

and Mrs. Henry Mitchell,

and Dennis Mitchell.

-That's me.

I'm going to Washington.

-Yes, he's uh very

kindly taking us along.

-Yes, your reservations

are confirmed

on Flight , nonstop.

-You mean, we won't stop?

-Not until we get there, Dennis.

-Jeepers, that's a long way.

Suppose I want to--

-There's one on the plane, dear.

-A mailbox?

-What?

-I might want to write

a postcard to Tommy.

So if there's one on the plane--

-You'd better wait until

we get there, Dennis.

-Hey, Dad.

What are you doing

with our suitcases?

-Well, this is where they

weigh them in, collect them

all together, and put

them on the plane.

-I better go along with

that one and make sure

it gets on the plane.

All my schoolbooks are in there.

-Well that's wonderful,

Dennis, you're

going to study on

the trip, are you?

-No, Sir.

I'm taking my books to stand on.

When I talk to

Senator Philbin I want

to look him right in the eye.

-Jeepers, this is great.

This is real great.

If I didn't know

I was in a plane,

I wouldn't even

know I was flying.

-Well, it's official, son.

You're up in the air.

-Way up in the air.

-PILOT (OFFSCREEN):

Good afternoon

and welcome to Flight .

This is your pilot,

Captain Howard Lynch.

-Hi, Captain.

This is your passenger,

Dennis Mitchell.

-Dennis, he can't hear you.

-PILOT (OFFSCREEN):

We are now cruising

at an average speed

of miles per hour

and should arrive

at our destination

in approximately

hours and minutes.

-Boy, I sure hope he gets us

to the right place all right.

-Of course he will.

Why shouldn't he?

-If he can't hear, maybe he

can't see so good either.

-Look out your window, Dennis.

We're flying over

Hickory Mountain now.

-Ah gee, that's pretty.

I sure hope we get them to make

a National Forest out of it.

-Have no fear, my boy, we will.

I have some important

contacts in Washington

who will pave the way for us.

-I have an important

contact in Washington too.

-Indeed?

-Yes sir.

He was my counselor at

summer camp last year

and his name is Freddy Thorpe.

He runs errands at the Capitol.

-Oh, a page boy.

-I guess that's

what you call him.

Anyhow, Freddy's real smart.

-Well if all else fails, we

will use your important contact.

-But I'll talk to the

Senator myself first.

-Everybody comfortable here?

-Yeah, we're fine.

-I heard you say you were

going to see a Senator?

-That's right.

I'm going to get him to fix

up a National Forest for us.

-Really?

-Yes, this young man

has been appointed

to make an appeal for one.

-And when we get

our National Forest,

Dad's promised to

take me camping out

there, just the two of us.

-Why that's wonderful.

-Would you like to go with us?

-Thanks.

But I'm afraid I can't make it.

-I guess three in a tent

would be a crowd any way.

-Yes, I'm afraid it would be.

[music playing]

-I'm Henry Mitchell.

This is Mr. John Wilson.

We've reserved two rooms.

-Yes.

We have them Mr. Mitchell.

A room for yourself and your

wife, an extra cot for your son

and an adjoining

room for Mr. Wilson.

Uh, boy?

and .

-John.

-Yup.

-Hey, Mr. Wilson.

We're the ones that

are here in business.

Shouldn't we room together?

-I requested a room

with a single bed.

-Could you move me

cot in beside his bed?

-Yes, we could do that.

-Perhaps your parents

won't approve.

-How about it, Dad?

It'll just be next door.

-If Mr. Wilson doesn't mind.

-Isn't that great, Mr. Wilson!

We're roommates.

-Splendid.

-Now if we want to

discuss business,

we won't have to

wait until morning.

We can talk all night.

-But this is a very

important matter.

Well, if you just let me speak

to Senator Philbin in person,

I'm sure that-- I know he's

a busy man, but-- All right.

I'll be there tomorrow morning.

-The senator can't see

us today, huh Mr. Wilson?

-So his secretary informs me.

-Well tomorrow

will be all right.

-Delay, delay, delay.

It seems to be the watchword

here in Washington.

The way politicians

put things off

it's a wonder we're not

still a British colony.

-Well it's only a

day, Mr. Wilson.

When you and Dennis get

in to see the senator,

I'm sure it won't take

you long to persuade him.

-Sure.

When he hears about all those

important connections you've

got, he'll be sorry he

didn't see us sooner.

-Well, I suppose you're right.

It's his loss, not mine.

-Well that means we have

the whole day to ourselves.

-Oh boy, let's go sight seeing.

-Well I think I'll

take this time

to rough out the opening

of my magazine article.

You do the town without me.

-You've got to come

with us, Mr. Wilson.

-But I've seen it before Dennis.

-That's why we need you.

So you can show us around.

Mr. Wilson really

knows Washington.

He can answer questions about

it practically in his sleep.

-Yes I proved that

all last night.

-Can't the article

wait, Mr. Wilson?

-All right, all right,

I'll be your guide.

You know, it's too bad the

famous Washington cherry

trees aren't still in bloom.

-They still got cherry trees?

I thought George

Washington cut them

all down when he was a boy.

[music playing]

-Mr.Jefferson surely was

a great man, wasn't he?

-He had a good deal to do with

making this a free country back

in .

-He'll always be

remembered as the writer

of the Declaration

of Independence.

-We learned that in school.

"We hold these truths

to be self-evident,

that all men are created equal.

That they are endowed

by their creator

with certain inalienable

rights that among these

are life, liberty, and

the pursuit of happiness."

-You certainly learned

that well Dennis.

-Some things go right

through your head.

But that's the kind

of thing that sticks.

-As long as it does,

son, this country

will never have to worry.

[music playing]

-Hey Mom, Dad!

I sure had fun going up in

George Washington's monument.

You should have walked down

like me and Mr. Wilson did.

-The elevator was good

enough for us dear.

-But you missed the

big memorial stones

that all the states and

foreign countries put there.

-That may be but we

sure saved our legs.

Where is Mr. Wilson?

-Oh, he kind of slowed

down and got behind me.

Here he comes.

-John, are you OK?

-Well of course I am.

I pride myself on

keeping in good shape.

-Mr. Wilson, you told me there

were steps in the monument.

-That is correct.

-Well, I only counted .

-Nevertheless, there are .

-Well, I'm going to

write to Tommy about it

and I want to be sure.

Let's walk up and

count them again

-On second thought,

I'm mistaken.

Your count is correct.

[music playing]

-Mr. Lincoln's got a

nice face hasn't he?

-He was that kind of man dear.

-He held this nation together

during the grimmest chapter

in our history.

It caused him great

suffering and pain

but he never lost the

quality of kindness.

-Could I climb up

there on his lap, Dad?

-Not allowed son.

-I'll bet he wouldn't mind.

[music playing]

-Oh, what a lovely mansion.

So beautiful and dignified.

-Yes, a fitting residence for

our most important citizen.

-Yeah, nothing's too

good for Caroline.

-Oh boy.

Hey Mom!

Dad!

Look at the capitol.

-Yes Dennis isn't it beautiful?

-Our nation's capital, where

senators and over

representatives make our laws.

-They all make the laws?

-That's right.

-Jeepers, Dad.

Maybe you better

not go in there.

-Why not?

-Well I heard you

say if you ever

met the fellow you made

the income tax law,

you'd punch him

right in the nose.

of them would take all day.

-Yes, I'll try to

restrain myself.

-Oh, this has been a

fascinating afternoon.

Oh, my feet are k*lling me.

-Mine too.

We've seen a lot of

exciting things today.

-You have a lot

to talk about when

you get back to school Dennis.

-I sure will.

And I bet you're going to write

a swell article about it too.

Because when I see Senator

Philbin tomorrow and-- Freddy!

Hey Freddy!

Mom, Dad!

It's Freddy Thorpe.

You know, my friend's

whose a page boy.

-Well hi, Dennis.

Gee what are you

doing in Washington?

-I'm here on business, Freddy.

For the Mayor.

He sent him-- oh,

Freddy, I want you

to meet by my mom, dad,

and my friend Mr. Wilson.

Freddy's my Washington contact.

-We've been hearing a

lot about you Freddy.

-Ever since last summer.

-Oh, we had a lot

of fun at camp.

Dennis is one of my best men.

I'll tell you what, Dennis.

Why don't you and I have lunch

one day while you're here.

-Oh boy, that'll

be swell Freddy.

-Oh that's very nice of you.

-You better not

make it tomorrow.

-No, Mr. Wilson and I got

a business deal tomorrow.

-Make it the next

day then, Wednesday.

: .

-All right.

I'll meet you right here Freddy.

Wednesday.

: .

-OK.

Well it was nice

meeting you folks.

-Goodbye Freddy.

-Dennis, the people in

your town chose wisely

in sending you on this mission.

I'm very proud of you.

-Thanks Senator Philbin.

The mayor said--

-The creation of

a National Forest.

Always a splendid idea and I'll

certainly give it some thought.

-I knew you'd do it Senator.

How soon can us kids

start camping out there.

-Well these things take

a little time Dennis.

But you just go on

back home, tell them

Senator Philbin said you

did a very fine job here.

-Well, just how do you go about

a thing like this, Senator.

I'm curious.

-Well any bill having to do with

national forests, Mr. Wilson,

has to go through Senator

McDermott of the Interior

Committee.

-McDermott?

-Yes a very powerful committee.

And I will mention

it to McDermott.

Don't worry.

First chance I get.

-Today perhaps?

Tomorrow?

-Well I will be out

of town tomorrow.

It may be a couple

of weeks, but you

will be hearing from me as

soon as I have any news.

Good day.

-How do like that?

Brushed off like

a piece of lint.

-Gee, it sure looks

like it's going

to take a long time to get our

National Forest, doesn't it?

-If we leave it up to that big

windbag, we'll never get it.

-What are we going to do?

All the kids are depending

on me and the mayor too.

-We are going to

get some action.

That's what we are going to do.

Now is the time to use some

of the important contacts I

have here.

-It's lucky you know

all those big people.

Who you going to talk to?

-A very dear friend

of mine, Dennis.

And one of the most

influential men

on Capitol Hill, Senator

Humphrey L. Beaufort.

Chairman of the Monetary

Disbursement Committee.

-Boy he sure sounds important.

-He'll get our bill through

McDermott's office just

like that.

Now I'm going to put

you in a taxi cab,

send you back to the hotel.

And I am off to see

Senator Beaufort.

-Yes sir?

-Oh, John Wilson to

see Senator Beaufort.

-Senator Who-fort?

-Beaufort?

You do know the

name of the chairman

of the committee

that employs you?

-Oh sure but it's not old

Humpy Beaufort, mister.

No.

A funny thing happened to

him on the way to the polls.

-He was defeated?

-Seven years ago.

-Oh good heavens.

Oh, this is very distressing.

I need help badly

on some legislature

that I'm trying-- Do

you know Judge Kingston?

Is he still around?

-Oh sure, he's a very big man.

You know him?

-Do I know him?

Why, Harvey Kingston

and I fought all

through the w*r

together, side-by-side.

-Really?

-Oh, yes.

Yes we had adjoining

desks at the Pentagon.

Oh good old Harv.

He'll flip when

I walk in on him.

-Uh what's his name, Mabel?

John Wilson?

Says he's an old friend of mine?

Oh, all right.

Send him in.

-Harvey!

By George!

It's good to see you.

-How how are you, Wilson?

-Fine, just fine.

Say, you look wonderful.

You haven't changed a bit.

-Well it's, it's

been a long time.

- .

I bet the old Pentagon hasn't

been the same since we left.

-Probably not.

Well, it's nice to see

an old buddy again.

So what can I do for you, Don?

-John.

-John, of course.

-Well I just came by

to kind of kick around

old times, sort of reminiscence.

-Yeah, that would be nice.

-There is one small

favor I need and I

know you can do it

for me just like that.

[snaps]

-And my good friend

Judge Kingston

said your department would

handle the matter for me.

-Judge Kingston is a nut.

-What?

-We got nothing

to do with getting

a bill like that passed.

What you got to do is go down

to the Public Land's office.

-Oh.

Thank you.

-No, the place to

go with that is

the Fish and Game Commission.

-No, the place to go with that

is the Bureau of Conservation.

-No, the place to go with that

is the Monetary Disbursement

Committee.

-But that's where I started.

Oh, I give up.

Well, I'm not sure whether

our bill will be passed or not

but I have a great new

angle for the story.

A small boy's impressions

of Washington.

It-- you don't want a

small boy's impressions

of Washington.

Well I--I know I promised you

a story on how a child could

influence Congress but

you see, I-- You what?

Pay my own expenses?

Mr. Winfield do you realize

how much it costs to-- Goodbye.

-That sounds like

trouble, Mr. Wilson.

What's the matter?

-Everything's the matter.

If that National Forest

bill doesn't go through,

the magazine won't buy my story.

Not only that, I'll be

stuck with all my expenses,

including that $ . piece

of cake you're eating.

-Well, I'm not worried

Mr. Wilson, not with

all those important contacts

you've got in the government.

-And I'm happy to say that

at lat, I've got some action.

Where's Dennis?

-Oh, I just dropped him

over the Capitol, John.

-He's having lunch with

Freddy Thorpe today.

-Oh yes.

Yes, I forgot.

Well, I got so sick and

tired of the pushing

around I got yesterday

that I went over

to Senator McDermott's

office and I camped there

until his secretary

gave me an appointment.

-Oh good.

- : today.

From : until : , Senator

McDermott is all mine.

-I wish Dennis could

go with you John,

but I don't think he'll

be back here by : .

-No.

Freddy has an uncle

here in town and he's

taking them both out someplace.

-Oh, well I'm sure

he'll be disappointed.

But I'll see that he gets

full credit for it back home.

-Oh that's very kind

of you, isn't it Henry?

-Yes it is John.

-Yes.

He'll have his

picture in the paper

as the boy who delivered

our National Forest.

And now I want to take you

both to lunch to celebrate,

and then you can go with me

to Senator McDermott's office.

Miss, please cut in.

My appointment was

: and it's now--

-I'm sorry Sir.

But I cannot break

in on the meeting.

Excuse me, please.

-John, we can wait

just as long as--

-Well I am not

waiting any longer.

I don't believe he's

having a meeting.

I think he's taking

a nap or something.

-John!

-Senator, I I--

Oh, good heavens.

-Do you have an appointment?

-Hi Mom!

Hi Dad!

Hi Mr. Wilson.

Boy, we had the

swellest lunch ever.

And you know what Uncle

Charlie's going do?

-Uncle Charlie?

-Senator McDermott is my uncle.

-Jeepers.

I almost forgot my manners.

Come on Mom.

Senator McDermott,

I want you to meet

my mom, dad, and Mr. Wilson.

-How do you do Mr. Wilson?

-He wants me to call

him Uncle Charlie.

And guess what?

I told Uncle Charlie all

about Hickory Mountain

and he's going to do it.

-You mean the Senator--

the National Forest?

-This boy of yours would make a

fine ambassador, Mrs. Mitchell.

He's charmed me completely.

-Well I, we--

-I thoroughly agree

your state needs

a recreational area and the

Hickory Mountain section

is the one.

I'm putting a bill into

my committee tomorrow.

Oh, uh, I believe

you wanted to see me

about something Mr. Wilson.

What can I do for you?

-Not a thing, Senator.

Not a thing.

I'm just there visiting here.

Just a sightseer, that's all.

-Boy, it sure is a

good thing that you

met Mr. Wilson, Uncle Charlie.

-Oh?

-Yeah.

Because he's got a lot of swell

contacts here in Washington.

And if you ever need

any help with anything,

he'll handle it for you.

Won't you, Mr. Wilson?

[theme music]
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