[theme music]
[door slams]
-Hey Mom, Dad.
-Young man, where have you been?
-Over helping Mr. Wilson
with a crossword puzzle.
And you know something?
He thinks I'm pretty smart.
-He does, does he?
-Yeah.
He just said if he had his way,
I'd be going away to college
next year.
[theme music]
-If you were allergic to
foods, pollens, or dusts John,
that test would've produced
red patches on your arm by now.
-Well I must be
allergic to something.
-But at times John's eyes water
so we can hardly work doctor.
-Hmm.
Maybe you're allergic
to work John.
[laughs]
-Very funny.
And what am I supposed
to do the next time
I start sneezing my head off?
Those quack pills you gave
me didn't do any good.
-Well the next time you
start sneezing be sure
and called me up.
-Call you?
Whatever for?
-So I can come over and
watch you be miserable.
[laughs]
-Bye Eloise.
-Bye
-Ugh, some doctor.
I could be dying
and all he'd give
me are bum jokes and
those quack pill.
[door bell rings]
-Now who could that be?
-Well now that's
a silly question.
Who else comes over to
bother me every time
I'm about to start an article?
-Hi Mrs. Wilson.
-Hello dear.
-Mom asked me to return this.
-Oh thank you dear.
-Morning Mr. Wilson.
You working?
-No Dennis.
I'm sitting here staring
at my typewriter.
-What's this one about?
-This is called What We
Know About The Planets.
And it has to be in by Friday.
So if you'll excuse me.
-Boy, planets should
make a swell article.
Do you know much about
planets Mr. Wilson?
-Only that the one that I am on
is a little too small at times.
Now if you'll-- if you'll--
[sneeze]
-Bless you Mr. Wilson.
You got hay fever?
You sneeze every time
I come over lately.
-Dennis will you--
what did you say?
-I said you sneeze every
time I come over lately.
-Eloise!
-Allergic to Dennis?
That's not possible.
-No it doesn't
seem possible John.
-Well according to
Doctor Johnson, Henry,
who I just talked to.
Although admittedly
rare, there are
cases on file of one human
being allergic to another.
-I'm completely flabbergasted.
-Well, not that I
doubt your word John,
but this is something I've
got to see with my own eyes.
[sigh]
-You mean you can make
Mr. Wilson sneeze just
by being around him?
-Not even tickling his nose?
-Or using sneezing powder?
-That's right.
Every time I go over there
lately he sneezes like crazy.
-Ah, go on Dennis.
-We weren't born
yesterday you know.
-All right, wise guys, we'll
go next door and I'll show ya.
-Dennis.
Come in the house a
minute, will you son?
-I'll be right out.
I hope.
If it's about my frog
Sammy using your bath water
dad-- oh hi Mr. Wilson.
Hey guys, come
around to the window
if you wanna see something.
-Dennis.
-Hey Mom, did Mr.
Wilson tell you
about the crazy way
I made him sneeze?
-Yes dear, he certainly did.
-Yes Dennis, that's
precisely why I'm he--
[sneeze]
-Bless you Mr. Wilson.
-Oh Dennis, never mind.
-Did you see that guys?
-I just heard it.
-Make him do it again Dennis.
-All right, fellas.
The show is over.
[sneeze]
-Dennis wait out
in the hall dear.
-I never would have believed it.
-Wait a minute.
Mr. Wilson, do you
think it could it
be something Dennis is wearing?
-Maybe a soap he's using.
-Harry that's it!
I just changed Dennis's
soap last week,
the one that's supposed to get
dirt off little boys easier.
-Well I suppose I could
be allergic to soap.
-You see what happens
when you worry
about me being
clean all the time?
-Well you'll just have to take
a bath and use the old soap.
-Well I sure wish I could make
somebody sneeze like that.
-Me too.
-Hey guys I gotta take a bath.
-A bath?
-In the middle of the day?
-Yeah.
My folks think Mr. Wilson
is sneezing around me
because of some dumb
old soap I'm using.
-You mean you're going to
take an extra bath just
on account of Mr. Wilson?
-Sure Tommy.
Mr. Wilson's a good
friend of mine.
See ya later.
-Boy, who needs a
friend like that?
-It's bad enough when
you get older and have
to be clean all the time.
-I'll never be that old.
-How's the great
experiment coming along?
-He's combing his hair.
I had him put on all
clean cotton clothing
just in case Mr. Wilson's
allergic to synthetics.
-Honey, you don't think this
is an insidious plot hatched up
by John Wilson to keep Dennis
from bothering him, do you?
Just a thought.
-I'm all set Mom.
-Well off you go to do battle
with Mr. Wilson's nose.
-Boy, if I were any
cleaner I'd feel sick.
-It is kind of a shock to
the nervous system, isn't it?
-Sure is.
-Well Eloise, in
a few minutes I'll
know whether I've
gotten that pint size
nuisance out of
my hair for good.
-Oh John, you like
Dennis and you know it.
-I like kangaroos too.
But I don't want
them hopping around
when I'm trying to write.
Besides, they
don't ask question.
[door bell rings]
-Come in, Dennis.
-Hi Mrs. Wilson.
-Hello dear.
-You ready to smell
me Mr. Wilson?
-My, don't you look nice.
-Oh boy, you're not
sneezing Mr. Wilson.
-Oh give me time
Dennis, give me time.
Well Eloise, I guess I'm not--
[sneeze]
-Maybe it was one left over.
[sneeze]
-Jeepers Mr. Wilson.
What can we do now?
-Little friend, there's
only one thing we can do.
We--
[sneeze]
-Stay away from each other for
the rest of our natural life.
-You mean we can't
be pals anymore?
-Oh, yes of course
we can Dennis.
Uh, a pen pal.
-How's it coming dear?
-Oh, slow.
So.
However Eloise, a modern
record is about to be set.
I haven't been
bothered once by Dennis
in an entire hour period.
-Oh John.
-For my part, it couldn't
come at a better time.
If I do a good job
on this article
it may open up an
entire new market for me
in space age writing.
-John, isn't that
still the first page?
Now dear, I thought you did
all your research last week.
-Eloise, one just
doesn't sit down
and write a scientific
article about planets.
-Oh.
Does one visit a few
of them first dear?
Oh!
I see Dennis has made
friends with Mr. Haynes.
They're over in the
park playing checkers.
-They are?
Eloise, I couldn't care less.
-So you think you got me, huh?
-No Mr. Haynes.
But I think you
think I've gotcha.
-Oh nuts!
-John, there's
enough paper in here
to have written nine articles.
-I know why I can't get started.
It's too quite here.
-Let's play something.
-What do you want to play?
-I don't care.
What do you want
to play Seymour?
-I'm hungry.
-Can't you boys make any
more noise than that?
-I'm tired.
-Seymour, you've been
here less than an hour.
-Are you really going to give
us each a time Mr. Wilson, just
for sitting here
and making noises?
-I am.
-I think he flipped his lid.
-Seymour, I'm not employing
you as my psychiatrist.
-I want my dime now.
-All right, all right.
I'll give you all
your dimes now.
Oh my goodness.
Here you are.
There's yours, yours.
-Thanks a lot Mr. Wilson.
-And there's yours.
-It's OK I guess.
-Oh come on fellas.
Can;t you make some real noise?
[scream]
-Seymour, not that
kind of noise.
As if you were playing
football or something.
-OK.
Throw it here.
-Here it comes.
-I've got it.
Got it!
-Oh no you don't.
I got a touchdown!
-What do you mean touchdown?
-Yeah Seymour, what
do you mean touchdown?
-I want extra dimes,
they're yelling at me.
-All right fellas,
that's enough.
-Didn't our noise help you
think better Mr. Wilson?
-Well I hoped it would, Tommy,
but it simply is not working.
-Gee, that's tough.
-Yeah.
Well, goodbye boys.
-Bye Mr. Wilson.
Thanks for the dime.
-Yeah thanks.
-Hi Mr. Wilson!
-Dennis, what are
you doing here?
-Well I know I shouldn't
be here Mr. Wilson.
But I just had to say
hello on my way home.
-Well, hello.
-How's the article coming?
-Oh Dennis, don't you start.
-Start what Mr. Wilson?
-Dennis, I have been sitting
at this unholy typewriter
like a bump on a
log for two days,
and I'm in no mood--
wait a minute.
I think I have an opening.
-See Mr. Wilson.
I'm bringing you good luck
and you're not even sneezing.
-Please Dennis, don't you
see that I'm-- I'm-- I'm--
[sneeze]
-Guess I'm still doing it to
you after all, huh Mr. Wilson?
[sneeze]
-What's going on here?
-Hi Mrs. Wilson.
I've just stopped by to--
[sneeze]
-Oh Dennis.
-I'm going.
Bye Mr. Wilson.
Bye Mrs. Wilson.
-Goodbye dear.
[sneeze]
-That darn kid.
-Man, who only yesterday, as
measured by the sands of time
thought of his world
as flat and huge,
is today turning the
genius of his intellect
towards that vast infinity of
universe that surrounds him.
Oh John, that's good!
-There's only one thing
wrong with it Eloise.
-Well what's that dear?
-I can't write like that
unless Dennis is bothering me.
-If he's here, I sneeze
my silly head off.
-Oh.
DENNIS (ON RECORDER)
Hi, Mr. Wilson.
How's it going this afternoon?
You busy, huh?
How you feeling Mr. Wilson?
[inaudible] Mr. Wilson?
Have you ever had
false teeth Mr. Wilson?
Have you seen a
hungry looking lost
goat around here Mr. Wilson?
ALICE (OFFSCREEN): Well I
called Doctor Johnson again.
But he has no new suggestions
for-- a lost goat?
DENNIS (ON RECORDER): Hi, Mom.
Poor Mr. Wilson's paying
me $ . just to bother
him on this tape recorder.
Well I'm just saying
anything that I--
-It's no use Eloise.
Dennis has bothering
down to such a fine art
it has to be done in person.
-The tape wouldn't work?
Aw, I'm sorry dear.
-Well that settles it.
-Settles what?
-Eloise, I have grown
accustomed to Dennis
bothering me while I work.
Just as other people have
grow accustomed to hives.
When they stop scratching it's
throws their entire schedule
off.
Well my entire schedule is off.
And it will stay off unless I
do something drastic, and now!
[hammering]
-Henry come here.
[hammering]
-John Wilson, you
are being ridiculous.
Now dear, putting
the house up for sale
is not going to help you
write that article by Friday.
-Eloise, I have made up my mind.
-What's going on over here?
You folks decide to move to
the right side of the tracks?
-Hello Henry.
Meet the nut of the month.
-No use Henry.
When a writer can't work he
has only two alternatives,
to move to a new environment
or starve to death.
-And as you could see
from the shape John's in,
it with take him years
to starve to death.
-I don't understand John.
Has Dennis been around making
your allergy flare up again?
I told him to stay away.
-Dennis hasn't been around.
John's upset because he hasn't.
He misses him.
-I am not upset, and
I do not miss him.
Well I mean, well this is
a difficult problem Henry.
I'm not sure that I
understand it myself.
It's simply that I can not
work unless Dennis is around
bothering me.
But I-- I can't have him
around because, well he
makes me sneeze my head off.
-Hmm.
That is a problem.
-Well it's true.
John Wilson's putting a for
sale sign up on his house.
-A for sale sign?
Do you mean Mr. Wilson's
going to sell his house
and move away?
-Yes Dennis.
Mr. Wilson has quite a problem.
-Boy.
I never thought he'd
take it this hard.
-Well dear, it's nothing
to blame yourself for.
-Who else can you blame mom?
When a swell guy like Mr. Wilson
can't work with me around,
and he's going to
move away because I
make him sneeze all the time.
Now remember Willy,
you're not to fight
with Hortense after I'm gone.
She's a girl.
ALICE (OFFSCREEN): Dennis.
-Oh goodness, you
got in bed fast,
-You said it.
-I wouldn't worry about
Mr. Wilson moving away.
Things usually have a
way of working out dear.
-Goodnight Mom.
-Goodnight dear.
-Goodbye Sam.
It was nice know you.
I'd take you with
me Sam, but I'm
going to have enough trouble
just having one mouth to feed.
[music playing]
-Ah [inaudible], that makes
$ , . you owe me.
-k*ll joy?
-I'll play you
double or nothing.
-What?
I should work myself
up to practically
being a millionaire only to be
wiped out by a game of chance?
-Hi Excuse me.
Could you gentlemen tell
me when the next freight
train comes through?
-Well that depends boy
on where you're going.
-Anywhere.
Are you gentlemen hobos?
-We prefer to be known as
the gentry of the open road.
-That's what I want to be too.
I'm Dennis, Dennis Mitchell.
-Well how do you do Dennis?
I am Cecil Thorp, the third.
-How do you do Mr. Thorp Third?
-Hi Dennis.
I'm Slim.
-How do you do Mr. Slim?
-Just call me Hog, boy.
-Glad to make your
acquaintance Mr. Hog.
-Sit down Dennis.
Sit down.
Now then Dennis, it's not
easy to join our little club,
you know?
-It's not?
-Well certainly not.
To begin with, you gotta a write
your poor ole mother every day.
And you gotta wash behind
your ears twice a day.
-Twice a day?
-Of course.
What do you think we are, bums?
-And last but not least, you
got to have an awful good reason
to run away from home.
You ain't married, are ya?
-Heck no.
But I got another good reason.
My best friend's moving
away, and it's all my fault.
-That bad, huh?
-If you let me travel
with you gentleman
I won't be trouble at all.
I learn awful fast.
I don't even snore.
-Well, well.
Well then, just smack yours
lips over this stew, boy.
-Thanks
-And please give my
frog Sam to Tommy.
And tell him not to
let Sam eat too many
flies before bedtime
because he gets indigestion.
PS, I'm sorry I caused my
good friend Mr. Wilson all
this trouble, and hope
now that I'm leaving he'll
stay here and be able to write
OK, especially by Friday.
Dennis.
-We notified the police
as soon as we found it.
-Yes, now we're out to do
some looking for ourselves.
-Well I'll go with you.
-Oh thanks Mr. Wilson.
-Goodbye
-Goodbye Mrs. Wilson.
-Goodbye, good luck.
-Poor kid, he's got big
troubles for a little boy.
-He's got big troubles?
I owe $ , and
only got $ . .
-You're in trouble?
I've got to collect
$ , from a dead b*at.
[laughing]
[yelling]
-Hold it!
Hold it!
Believe me folks, every
available man on the force
is out looking for Dennis.
I'm just as
concerned as you are.
-Then why aren't you
out running around
on your big flat feet Mooney?
-Yeah.
Somebody has to mind the store.
-Mooney, unless that child
is found with-- with-- with--
[sneeze]
-Uh.
For a minute I thought--
-Excuse me Sergeant.
John smell this hat.
-Why should-- why should--
[sneeze]
-Stop it!
He's sneezing right in my hat!
-Sergeant, do you use
some sort of hair tonic?
-I do.
Rose blossom.
It's odorless to humans.
But boy, how it drives
dogs wild. [laughs]
-Evidently dogs and Mr. Wilson.
-Same thing.
-Now listen Mooney!
-Please John.
Honey?
-It's no use dear.
Dennis doesn't use hair tonic.
-Sergeant, we have something
here to leave with you.
[yelling]
-Easy now, easy.
-Is he all right?
-Just tuckered out is all ma'am.
-Oh thank goodness.
[sneeze]
-That's the happiest
sneeze I've ever had Henry.
-But where did you find him?
-He dropped by our
modest track side resort.
-Track side resort?
I thought I told you--
-Shhh!
-(WHISPERING) Sergeant,
if you please.
-(WHISPERING) Sergeant, let
us not be loud and crude.
-Loud and crude?
-Shhh!
[sneeze]
-Shhh!
-I'm his mother.
I don't know how to thank you.
-Well I do.
-Oh no John, this
is my pleasure.
-Money?
-Sir, we are insulted.
We wouldn't dream of
accepting recompense
for helping a fellow hobo.
-Fellow hobo?
-They mean you John.
-We mean Dennis.
We voted him an honorary member
of our elite little clan.
-Bye kid.
-When he wakes up ma'am,
will you tell him goodbye?
-I certainly will.
-Ah, you boys aren't leaving
our fair little city are you?
-No offense man
sergeant, it simply
lacks the cultural
pursuits which interest us.
-Dennis.
Dennis wake up son.
-Hi Mom.
Hi Dad.
What am I going here?
-You fell asleep dear, and
your friends brought you here.
-Gee wiz, why did they go
do a dumb thing like that?
-Hello Dennis.
[sneeze]
-Dennis, have you been
using a hair tonic called
rose blossom without telling us?
-How did you find out?
-Well dear, why did
you keep it a secret?
-Well because a guy
my age ought to be
able to make his dumb
old cowlick stay down
without using that--
that greasy kid stuff.
-Know what Dennis, I
use rose blossom too.
To make my dumb old
cowlick stay down.
[sneeze]
-But Saturn's most
remarkable feature
is its system of rings that it--
-Gee Mr. Wilson, isn't it
swell that me new hair tonic
doesn't make you sneeze?
-Dennis, as you
can take yourself,
and your new hair tonic,
and you can just--
-John!
-Eh, go and sit
down, and keep me
company until this
article is finished.
-OK Mr. Wilson.
Since you really need me.
-Dennis, I need you
like a dog needs a flea.
Powder
-You know something?
Mr. Haynes is a nice man.
But as far as I'm considered,
there's only one Mr. Wilson,
and you're him!
-There, now aren't
you lucky dear?
-Oh, I'm the luck-- luck--
lucky one all right Eloise.
[laughing]
-Well I'm lucky too
because-- cause-- cause--
[sneeze]
-Jeepers Mr. Wilson, you aren't
using rose blossom hair tonic
to make your cowlick
stay down, are ya?
-Oh for crying out loud.
[theme music]
04x22 - Wilson's Allergy
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Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.
Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.