-Well, let's get rid of this.
-But dad, that's valuable!
-What is it?
-Why, I think it came off a--
well, I don't exactly know.
-Well, how can it be valuable if
you don't even know what it is?
-Well. it must be!
Otherwise, why would
I be saving it?
-Dennis, we've got to get
rid of some this junk.
There's hardly enough room
to walk around in here.
-Jeepers!
We've thrown away
a lot of stuff!
-So far, this is
all we've agreed on.
You know, I think this
could be fixed, honey.
-Henry!
Dennis, why don't you
sort through that box
and pick out what you want
and what you don't want.
While you're doing
that, your father and I
will look through your closet.
-Dad!
Don't open the--
-Gee, dad.
My comic books.
Now look what you've done.
And they were all
piled up nice and neat.
-Just look at that mess.
Dennis, from now on, nothing
goes in your clothes closet,
but clothes!
-Where will I put
my comic books?
-Oh, I think you're just going
to have to get rid of them.
-You mean throw them away?
-Well, or give 'em away.
-But dad!
Do you realize how much
allowance I;ve got tied up
in them?
-Well, maybe you could sell 'em.
-Sell 'em?
Hey, dad, that's a great idea!
-Dennis, where are you going?
-To make the For Sale sign!
-Well, what about all
this valuable stuff?
-That junk?
Just throw it away!
[theme music]
-Ah, there are
few more questions
I'd like to ask
about the camera.
Now, according to
your brochure, it
says that the camera will take
any telephoto lens up to, uh--
ELOISE (OFFSCREEN): John!
-I-I'll call you back.
-John?
I was wondering if you might--
-Hold it!
-What?
-Don't move!
-Well John what's the matter?
-Nothing.
Nothing.
I just want to look at you.
Eloise, sometimes I forget
what a handsome woman you are.
-Well, thank you, dear.
-You know, Eloise,
it's a shame, but I
don't have one good
photograph of you.
-Oh.
So you've decided to buy
that camera after all?
-Well, yeah.
-John, you promised
me you wouldn't!
It's too expensive.
-Now Eloise, photography is
the finest hobby there is.
-Well, I never said it wasn't.
I never said that gem polishing
wasn't a good hobby when
you bought that outfit
that's gathering dust
down in the cellar, did I?
-Well, no, but--
-And I didn't object
at all when you
started collecting
stamps, did I?
-Well, no, but, uh--
-Or coins?
Or first editions?
Those! are an investment.
-Or old Dixieland jazz records?
-But, uh--
-And I didn't say
a word when you
decided to take up oil painting.
Although I should have.
Oh!
And your life just
wasn't complete
until you found
out how much fun it
was to build ships in bottles.
But what happened to the ship?
-Well, I haven't had a
chance to put one in there.
-Oh, that's right--
the tropical fish
took too much of your time.
You know, dear, it
seems to me that you've
found the perfect hobby--
collecting hobbies.
-Well, I've just been trying to
find one that I really liked.
-And now you think it's
going to be photography?
-Well, uh, yes.
-Dear, we can't
afford that camera.
-Yes, we can.
You know that money
we have in the bank?
-That's our vacation fund.
-Well, if we go on a vacation,
we should have a camera.
-But if you buy the camera,
we can't go on a vacation!
Look, if you want it so badly,
why don't you sell something?
Like your first editions.
-Eloise, those are
and investment.
-Well, it seems to me, dear,
this a great time to liquidate.
-Why are you selling
your comic books, Dennis?
-My dad said I gotta
get rid of 'em.
You wanna buy some, Seymour?
-How much is this one?
-$ . .
-Will you trust me for it?
-Sorry, Seymour.
This sale is strictly
cash and carry.
-I never carry that much cash.
-How much do you carry?
-Well, I got this
cent pop bottle.
-Come on over here.
These are $ . .
-Are there any
"Adventures of Bat Boy?"
-"Bat Boy?"
I never heard of that comic.
-It's about this boy
that flies like a bat.
He's got webbed armpits!
-Seymour!
-He got the idea
from his brother,
Duck Boy-- he's got webbed feet!
-Seymour, the only
thing I have that
sounds like Bat Boy
is this one-- Flying
Man-- he flies through the air
with this little helicopter
strapped to his back.
-Boy, how corny can you get?
JOHN (OFFSCREEN): Umph!
-John!
-Eloise, you slammed
the door in my face.
-I'm so sorry.
I didn't know you
were out there.
Put it down.
Put it down!
-But I'm only trying to call--
-No telephone calls.
-But John!
-How can I get an
answer to my ad
if you're going to be gabbing
on the phone with your friends?
-Oh, is it in the paper already?
-Uh, yes.
Krinky did it as a
special favor to me.
Uh, there, see?
-For sale,
magnificent collection
of rare first editions.
Call reasonable John Wilson.
Reasonable John Wilson?
That sounds like a
used car salesman.
-Well, oh, that
should read, call,
period, reasonable,
period, John Wilson.
-John Wilson what?
-John Wilson, exclamation point.
Well, you always
put that in an ad
to indicate that it's urgent.
And it is.
I want that camera!
Ah-- no personal calls
during business hours.
-Oh, all right.
Reasonable John Wilson.
You could be arrested
for false advertising.
-How's it going, son?
-Oh, pretty good, dad!
I've gotten rid of
three comics so far!
-Well, that's a good start.
How much have you made?
-Nothin'!
I traded three of
mine for six of these.
-Dennis, the idea is
to get rid of them.
They're not going
back in your room.
Your mother and I just
finished thinning it out.
-Dad!
You're not throwing away
my good tire pump, are ya?
-Now, Dennis--
-Please, dad, it's valuable.
Can't I keep it?
-Well, all right.
-Thanks!
-Uh, uh, Dennis!
Dennis!
-Will you please be quiet?
I'm trying to read!
-Dad, you're disturbing
my customers.
-No, Dennis.
I haven't received a
single telephone call yet.
-Maybe you ought to put
up a sign like I did.
I've taken in $ . so far!
-Dennis, I will have to get
at least $ for those.
-$ !
-Shh!
Shh!
I don't want Mrs.
Wilson to know how
much that camera's
going to cost!
Don't touch that!
-I just wanted to look at it.
I've er seen books that
are worth that much.
-Well, it won't
be worth anything
if you get your grubby
little hands on them.
They're first editions!
-Are they all worth
a lot of money?
-Well, no, but if you happen
to have a first edition
of Mark Twain, or Edgar
Allen Poe, or-- or Hemingway.
-Hemingway?
Don't go away, Mr. Wilson!
I'll be right back!
"Hemisphere Hemingway--
Interplanetary Space Pilot."
It must be a first edition.
See?
He's still using
his old spaceship
without the atomic power.
-Oh, Dennis, for Heaven's sake.
That doesn't make
it a first edition.
-Well, how about this one?
-Oh.
-Maybe you better
look at all of 'em.
-Dennis! get those off my desk!
-But Mr. Wilson!
[telephone ringing]
-The phone!
The-- What--
-John, the phone's ringing!
-I know, I know, I know!
Oh, where is it?
-Here you are, Mr. Wilson!
-Oh!
Thank you.
Hello?
-Mr. Wilson, you
knocked over the vase!
-Oh, for Heaven's sake, Dennis.
Uh, hello?
Hello?
-Uh, h-hello?
Is that, um, uh,
Reasonable John Wilson?
-Oh, that should read
reasonable, period,
John Wilson, exclamation point.
-Hm, Well, Mr. Wilson,
my name is Dewey.
I'm in town visiting my
brother-in-law for the day,
and I happened to see your ad.
I'm a book collector,
and I wondered
what first editions
you have for sale.
-Oh, well I have a list
right here on my desk.
Uh, just a moment, please.
The list, where is the list?
Where is it?
-Is this what
you're looking for?
-Oh, yes, thank you.
Hello!
I have-- uh, hello.
I have "Grass Stains,"
by Theodore Schiller,
"The Slender Shaft," by---
-Yes, uh-huh, I see.
Yeah.
Well, Mr. Wilson, that
sounds like a very desirable
collection.
Um, how much are
you asking for it?
-Well, uh, how much
are you offering?
-Well, I'd say from your
description-- of course,
I'll have to examine
the books first--
I would be willing to pay, uh,--
-$ ?
-Gee!
Now you can get that camera!
-Well, um, I'd have to
think it over, Mr. Dewey.
-Well, I don't want to
pressure you, Mr. Wilson.
But I'm only going to be in
town another couple of hours.
-Oh, well, I'll-I'll
call you later.
-Fine.
Then if I don't hear
from you, say, uh,
say in another
couple of hours, I'll
assume you're not interested.
My phone number?
Oh, it-- --
-Just a minute, I-I'll
write that down.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, now, what is it?
-- Yeah.
All right.
Got it.
I'll call you back
in a little while.
Oh, boy, $ !
-Why didn't you take it?
-Well, if I jumped
at his offer, he
might get suspicious
and think that the books
aren't worth that much.
That's just good business.
-I'd better get
back to my business.
-You do that.
Eloise!
Eloise!
Eloise!
Eloise!
Eloise!
Eloise!
Dewey answered my ad!
-Well, that's wonderful, dear.
Dewey who?
-Mr. Dewey.
The Man who answered the ad!
-Oh, him.
-Yeah, yeah.
And Eloise, brace yourself.
He offered me smackaroos!
-$ !
Oh, John that's more
than you paid for them!
-You see?
I told you those
were an investment.
-Of course you accepted?
-Well, I didn't want
to seem too anxious,
so I told him I'd think
it over and call him back.
-Bye, Mr. Wilson!
-Good-bye, Dennis!
-John?
-Hm?
-Don't you think
it's taking a chance,
asking Mr. Dewey to wait?
-Of course not.
Now, I know exactly
what I'm doing.
-How long are you
going to make him wait?
-Oh, I think I'll let him stew
for about, uh, minutes.
-It's only four minutes.
-I know.
-And you said you were
going to let him stew.
-The comic books!
The number!
Dennis!
[door bell]
-I'm coming!
-I'm coming!
-Quick!
Where's Dennis?
-Well Mr. Wilson,
what's the matter?
-Nothing, nothing.
Is he here?
-No, he isn't.
-Well, do you know
where he went?
I've got to find him.
-Well, no, we don't.
-What kind of parent are you?
Letting your child
wander around,
you don't even know where he is.
-Now see here, John--
-Leave it.
He must be in the neighborhood
somewhere, Mr. Wilson.
He piled all of his
comic books on his wagon
and said he was going
to try to sell them.
-Comic book?
-Yes.
He said you gave him
a great idea about how
to make a lot of
money out of them.
-An idea?
What idea?
-Now look at this one.
Don't touch it, Tommy!
-Why not?
-It's a first edition!
It's very valuable.
-Who says so?
-Mr. Wilson!
I heard a man offer him
$ for his collection!
-Wow!
I didn't even know
he read comics!
-He doesn't!
He collects first editions.
And that's what this is.
How about it, Tommy?
You wanna buy it?
-Well, a quarter
is a lot of money.
-Consider it an investment!
Someday, you'll be able
to sell it at a profit.
-OK.
-Here you are.
-All right, Mr. Dewey,
I'll give him your message.
-Eloise!
-John!
John, where did you go?
-Over to the Mitchell's.
I've got to go and
look for Dennis.
Now, if Mr. Dewey calls,
you tell him that I--
-Dear, he was just on the phone.
-What?
-H-he says there are two
books in your collection
that he is particularly
anxious to buy,
and he's raised
his offer to $ .
-Three hun--
-He wants you to
call him right back.
-Ho, boy!
I, eh, what's the number?
-I don't know.
-You don't know?
Didn't you ask?
-No.
-Why?
-I thought you knew it.
-I didn't say that.
-Well dear, you were
going to call him back,
so I assumed that you knew it!
-Eloise, with Dennis around, it
isn't safe to assume anything!
Oh!
-Dennis!
Dennis!
-Yes, mom?
-Where have you been, young man?
Your lunch has been
waiting for you
on the kitchen table
for a half hour!
-Gee, mom.
I've been so busy, I
forgot all about it.
-Well, suppose you get un-busy
and get in there and eat it.
Won't take long,
it's only a sandwich.
-But mom, I haven't
got time to eat now.
I just came back for
some more comic books.
Can't I take it along with me?
-Well, all right.
But don't just put
in your pocket.
Wrap it in something
so it won't get dirty.
-OK.
-Oh, Dennis?
-Yes, ma'am?
-Have you see Mr.
Wilson recently?
-No.
-He's been looking over
the neighborhood for you.
-He has?
-And he was rather upset.
-Yeah?
-Dennis, you don't have
something of his by mistake,
do you?
-Heck, no!
I've just been
selling comic books.
-Well, he certainly seemed
anxious to talk to you.
-I've got to talk to him.
-I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson.
I haven't seen him
since he stopped
by here to sell me a comic book.
-Comic book?
-Yes, sir.
"Hemisphere Hemingway."
-Hemingway?
That's the one.
I think.
-Don't touch it!
It's a first edition!
-Just want to look at it.
-But it's very valuable.
-All right, all right,
I'll buy it from you.
What do you want for it?
A nickel?
-Nope!
-Dime?
-Nope!
-How much?
-$ . .
-$ . !
All right, all right,
you have a deal.
Oh, drat.
That's not the one.
-It's yours-- you
bought it-- $ . .
Thanks.
Boy, Dennis sure was right.
First editions are
a great investment.
Bye!
-$ . ?
-Yeah!
And then he went over
to Seymour's house
and bought one
from him for $ . .
And he gave Margaret a
dollar for two of 'em!
-Wow!
-Not in that one.
-It's not in any of these.
We've been through
them three times.
Maybe you missed one of the
places where Dennis sold them.
-No, I don't think so.
See, I went to-- I went to
Seymour, Margaret, Tommy,
Florence, Freddie.
I didn't miss any of them.
Oh, I've got to find
that telephone number.
-I know you do, dear, but how?
-Well, I'll just keep on
buying comic books, that how.
-But that'll cost
a lot of money.
-Well, I've gone this far.
I might just as well
keep buying them!
-Yeah, Freddie!
He's buying up all the
comic books in town.
Business is zoomin'!
Call up everybody you know!
-Yeah, Joey.
I'm tellin' you the truth.
He's gonna buy them like crazy.
OK, you better hurry up.
-OK, Seymour!
You're next!
How many have you got, Seymour?
-Six of 'em.
-That's $ . .
-These are $ . apiece.
They're first editions!
-$ . each, that's my price.
Take it or leave it.
-I'll leave it!
-Uh, uh, Seymour, just a minute.
I just want to
look through them.
How much will you charge me
just to look through them?
-$ . apiece!
-Oh, you miserable--
-How about $ . ,
just to look at 'em?
-Well, OK.
-Oh, good!
-Keep your grubby
hands off of 'em!
I'll turn the page.
-That's the last
one, Mr. Wilson.
-Look at all that--
no telephone number.
-No money, either.
-Dennis, why did you
have to-- oh, never mind.
I don't want to take
up photography, anyhow.
It's too expensive.
-I'm sorry.
-I thought I'd find the
number in one of those.
-What are you gonna do with
all of 'em, Mr. Wilson?
-I don't know.
-Can I have 'em?
-Well, if you promise to
clear them all out of here.
-Oh, boy, thanks!
-Would you like
some coffee, dear?
-No, thank you.
-How about you, Dennis?
Some milk and cookies?
-No, ma'am.
I haven't eaten my lunch yet.
Hey, Mr. Wilson?
-What?
-The telephone number!
-Dennis!
Where did--
-Mom said it was all right for
me to take a sandwich with me
if I wrapped it up, and--
-Dennis!
At last, I can call, I
hope I'm not too late.
[door bell]
-I'll get it.
-Whoever it is, we're not
buying any more comic books!
-Yes?
-Excuse me, my name's Dewey.
-Oh, Mr. Dewey!
-Is Mr. Wilson home?
-There's no answer!
That stupid Dewey
must have left town!
-John--
-I was only minutes
late in calling.
You'd think that idiot
would have waited.
-John, this is Mr. Dewey.
-Oh!
Um, I was calling you.
-So I heard.
-I'm awfully sorry.
I'm a little upset.
All these comic books--
-Ooh, do you collect these?
-Oh no, those are Dennis's.
-Your son?
-My next door neighbor.
-Oh.
Well, how are you, Dennis?
-Fine, thank you, Mr. Dewey.
-Uh, Mr. Dewy, about
my first editions--
-Ah, you've got a mighty
collection here, Dennis.
-About my first edition--
-You know, I collect
these things, too.
-You do?
-About my first editions--
-Yeah!
I have a feeling that one
day, first editions of things
like, uh, "Hemisphere Hemingway"
are going to be very valuable.
-Would you like to buy some?
I've got a lot of
first editions.
-Uh, Dennis, Mr.
Dewey came to talk
to me about my first editions.
-That's right.
I just wanted to
let you know that I
shan't be able to buy them.
-What?
-You see, while I was
waiting for you call me back,
I went out for a walk.
I passed by this camera store.
Well, I-I just
couldn't resist it.
-That's the camera
I was going to buy.
-Are you a camera nut, too?
-No.
Just a plain nut.
-Well, you see, I've spent all
my hobby budget on the camera.
But, um, hey, if I'd known
you had these comic books--
-You mean you would
have bought em?
Here's,
-Yes!
-And Mr. Wilson's
first editions, too?
-Yeah, if I could
have made a good deal.
-Mr. Dewey, I think it's
just possible that you can!
-Wha--?
-Dennis, don't put your
greasy finger on the lens.
A-a-and don't force
the shutter release.
Dennis, don't--
-Don't worry, Mr. Wilson.
I won't hurt our camera!
-Our camera?
-Yes, sir!
Mr. Dewey traded it
for your first editions
and my comic books, didn't he?
-Yes, but--
-Aw, go play in your own yard!
-Can I take some more?
-Oh, uh--
-Wait a minute, Mr. Wilson.
I just want to take a
couple a more pictures,
and then you can use
our camera for a while.
-Well, what do you want to take
a picture of that junk, for?
-Well, the next time my mom and
dad make me clean up my room,
and they ask, "Dennis, don't
you ever throw anything away?"
I'm gonna whip out this
picture and show it to 'em!
-Oh, all right.
Go ahead.
All right, now let's have that.
-I'm not through yet!
I just have a few more to take!
-A few more?
-Yes, sir!
And here they come, now.
-Come on!
-Line up in back of here.
See?
There's Tommy, Freddie, Mary,
Florence, Larry, and Eric.
Boy, at $ . apiece, this
is better than selling comic
books!
-Dennis!
You'll have that worn out b--
-Come on over here, Tommy!
-Oh, for Pete's sake.
-He's not gonna
take your picture!
You're too fat!
[theme music]
04x36 - First Editions
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.
Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.