:
Had a rockin' time.
Catch you later.
But I have to walk you to
your counter.
How else will I know you made it
safely to work?
Um...
(Grunting)
Well, first of all, I'm here.
And there's no girls allowed in
the store on Tuesdays.
Later.
Ah!
Just a little kiss for the
road?
I can't.
That's, uh, another rule.
No kissing in the store.
There's no rule like that
here, Jude.
Oh, I'm pretty sure there is,
dude.
(Sighing)
Yikes!
That was a level- clinger.
Cha!
You're telling me!
I've heard about chicks like
this, but I've never actually
met one.
Tell Jonesy where it hurts.
Okay.
Every time I try to tell Rita
that I want to break up with
her, she goes all psycho on
me and I lose my mojo.
Breaking up is an art.
Luckily, it's an art I've
perfected over many years of
dumping weirdoes.
I've only had one
girlfriend, Star, and she was
perfectly normal.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, let's look at this another
way.
Let's pretend this is your
reverse ollie with a fakie flip.
Okay.
You can do it with your eyes
closed, but every time I try, I
fall flat on my face.
Yeah.
I can learn how to do a fakie
flip, and you can learn how to
break up with girls.
All you need is practice.
How about, instead, I just give
you five big ones to do a fakie
flip on Rita.
You're on!
Sweet.
But just so you know, I
would've done it for free.
Sorry, no refunds.
Dude!
Mine!
♪
♪ Life begins after school
♪ That's when we bend
all the rules ♪
♪ Time to hang
with all my friends ♪
♪ We like to be together
in a place where we belong ♪
♪ I'm sixteen
♪ Starting to find my way
♪ Got a new job
♪ Gonna start at
the mall today ♪
♪ Thank God I'm on my own
for the first time ♪
♪ I'm sixteen
♪ Life is sweet
♪ When you're growing up
so fast ♪
♪ You got to make the good
times last ♪
♪
♪ I'm sixteen, sixteen
♪ Got to make the good
times last ♪
I wonder what's keeping
Judykins?
Judykins isn't here, and he's
never going to be here.
You're finished, finito, kaput.
Done like dinner.
See you.
If no one's going to drink that.
It's nothing personal, just
business.
Enjoy your coffee.
Jude!
No!
(Crying)
Wow, that was cold.
So is my chai latte.
(Screaming)
Like I said to psycho chick
over there, it's nothing
personal, it's business.
That's it!
Guys, this is the start of a
whole new Jonesy money-making
empire.
Check it out.
For the low, low price of just
five bucks, I will break
whatever bad news needs to be
broken.
Any place, any time.
You mean, you're going to do
everyone's dirty work for them.
You sure that's a good idea,
bro?
You might make a lot of enemies.
No way, man!
I'll be providing a much-needed
service for the weak and
spineless, while making tons of
coin.
In other words, you'll be the
tactless, unfeeling, completely
selfish person that no one else
wants to be.
Totally!
Okay, then.
The first batch of the Smash
Face Cosmetics line goes on sale
in ten minutes.
It's so hot right now.
Later!
Good luck.
Right.
(Cracking knuckles)
Time to find some customers.
Here, can you tell my
step-brother not to leave his
tighty whities on the bathroom
floor all the time?
Psych!
(Grunting)
Let go, Tricia!
Back off, lemonhead, it's
mine.
But I saw it first.
Yeah, maybe in your bed,
where you're totally dreaming!
(Screaming)
It's mine!
Mine!
Let go!
Oh, look, we forgot to put
the last one out.
Whoa!
Oh, thank you, Diane.
You're my new best friend.
Yes!
I'm going to look so hot.
I'll take it!
That folding board is for the
mini-T's, not the relief-effort
hoodies.
Maybe somebody needs to
repeat the remedial folding
seminar this weekend.
You're right.
I'd better let you guys handle
this.
Hey, Nikki.
(Gasping)
We still on for the concert
this weekend?
Well, you did get the
tickets, so I suppose I'm stuck
with you.
Yes, I know.
Perfection like this must be
hard for you to live up to.
We should try to get there
around :.
Cool.
He's actually cute.
What does he see in her?
Maybe his mom dropped him on
his head when he was a baby.
Our motto is, "We'll do what
you're too chicken to."
What's with the crazy lid?
It's Jonesy's new business.
He breaks bad news to people for
cash.
No way!
So I was, like, your first
official customer.
Sweet!
Yeah, you can pay me later,
Wayne-o.
Jude, get back to work!
You took money from Wayne to
yell at me, bro?
Not cool.
Hey, money's money.
Next.
What the--
(Gasping)
Did you see that?
Those escalator girls think they
own the mall.
So let them have the
escalator.
Who cares?
They don't scare me.
Didn't you hear what happened
to that girl Clara last year?
I thought she moved to Fiji.
That's what the escalator
girls want you to believe.
Right.
Mommy, what happened to that
lady's skin?
(Gasping)
Uh, what's wrong with your
face?
I look hot, don't I?
I don't even need to look in the
mirror.
Smash Face is so quality.
Uh...
Is it too late to demand a
full refund?
Please.
Dark tans are so hot.
Maybe you should apply it to
the rest of your body, then.
I'm sure!
Smash Face is way too expensive
to apply anywhere but to the
face.
Khaki Barn prison duty calls.
Yeah, I better get back too
before Coach Halder sends out a
search party.
(Gasping)
This is so not good.
I have no idea what Nikki
sees in that loser.
Why, because he's not you?
No, it's just that he looks
like a jerk.
I mean, who plays the bongos?
And check out that stupid hair.
Only a strike-out king would
dress like that.
You sound like a guy who's
still not over Nikki.
(Laughing)
Please!
Nikki was a phase.
I'm so over her.
Uh, yeah.
So back to business.
We've got a guy who hired you to
tell his so he's grounded.
Boring.
Got anything in a nice f*ring?
Oh, yeah.
You boss hired me to tell you
you're a girlie little excuse
for a maggot.
Oh, and you're fired.
(Gasping)
(Crying)
There, there.
Your boyfriend just thinks he
can do better, that's all.
(Crying)
Be strong, little angel.
Be strong.
Dude, called, and it wants
its hairdo back.
Hey.
So weak.
Your mom thinks it's time you
had a salad.
Hey, you two!
No one needs to see that!
Take it outside, already.
(Cheering)
This breaking-bad-news
service is the best job I've
ever had.
I just scored dates with five
different chicks on the rebound.
Sweet.
Wait, is one of them Rita?
Ah.
Sorry, dude.
She's totally crazy, but still
hot.
Better you than me, dude.
I don't know, Jonesy.
You were pretty harsh out there.
Please, I'm just the
messenger.
Hey, you!
Give me back my fries.
I'm serious, man.
Hey, I don't care if you're
fat, dude.
Talk to your mom!
They always sh**t the
messenger.
Cait.
Can I bum a glass of water?
Fear for my life makes me
parched.
(Gasping)
Caitlin!
What happened to your face?
I told you.
This is just the new,
more-tanned me.
Okay, I really think you
should look in the mirror.
(Gasping)
(Screaming)
You're the one who told me
about Smash Face.
This is all your fault!
But I didn't know it would do
this.
Okay, if it weren't for
Caitlin, I'd so be laughing at
you right now.
(Panting)
(Sniffing)
I can smell you.
(Sniffing)
No one steals my fries.
That was close.
No way!
That's great news, Jill.
I am so stoked.
I can't wait to see you either.
Love you too.
Yes!
Oh, man, Nikki.
Sorry, man, didn't see you
there.
Hey, aren't you that
breaking-bad-news guy?
Yeah, aren't you that Nikki's
boyfriend guy?
Yeah.
Looks like not for long, though.
You're breaking up with her?
Yeah, I just don't know how
to do it.
How much do you charge, dude?
Uh, $.
Awesome.
Uh, tell Nikki that it's over
and that I'm really sorry.
You want me to dump Nikki for
you?
That would be great, thanks.
Wait.
Why are you dumping her?
My ex-girlfriend's moving
back to the city.
Nikki's great, but Jill and I
have history, you know?
The only reason we broke up was
because her dad got a job in
Montreal.
Thanks, man, I owe you one.
Oh, beautiful money.
What have I done for you?
He totally stood me up.
You're my best friend.
What should I do?
Excuse me, your boyfriend
hired me to tell you he's been
dating, well, her.
(Gasping)
Personally, I think he's an
idiot.
You're way hotter.
No offence.
(Gasping)
Thanks for telling me the
truth.
Call me.
Even scoring hot rebound
chicks doesn't make me feel
better.
Well, if it isn't the grim
reaper.
What's the matter, bro?
Run out of customers?
No.
Business is better than ever.
That's the problem.
What happened?
Money and chicks can't buy
happiness.
Okay, now I'm really worried.
(Laughing)
Last night, I had to crawl in
through the basement window.
I was stuck there for six hours.
I need my keys back!
Help me, Cait.
I'm not going out in public.
It's too humiliating.
I'm hideous.
Pretty, pretty please?
I need backup!
Those girls are huge.
Okay, fine, I'll help you.
Just keep an eye on them until I
get back from my cosmetician's
appointment.
Ee!
You're the best.
Eww.
Have a khaki day.
What's better, pink with blue
stripes, or blue with pink
stripes?
Hmm, let's see.
Both make you look shallow and
self-absorbed.
Look at her.
So happy, so oblivious.
She has no idea she's about to
be dumped.
Maybe it's like ripping off a
bandage.
Just get in there and get it
over with.
And be nice.
(Clearing throat)
Hey, Jonesy.
What's up?
I-I--
Oh, come here, you.
Okay.
Okay, let's see what we have
here.
Brace yourself.
It's really bad.
Helga has seen everything.
(Screaming)
Is there anything you can do?
I think I can help you.
Oh, thank you, thank you.
I can't feel my forehead.
Is it working yet?
(Sniffing)
Hmm, weedy.
Is it working yet?
(Grunting)
Is it working yet?
Please tell me it worked, please
tell me it worked.
My skin looks exactly the same.
No, all fine wrinkle lines
around the eyes are gone.
Wrinkles?
I'm years old!
I came here for my zits!
(Screaming)
Jen, what's happening?
The escalator girls are
holding my house keys hostage.
You can kiss those goodbye.
Seriously, this one time, my
skateboard wheeled over there,
and I just left it.
Forever!
So I says to him, I says,
"What do you mean I have to
clean--?"
Oh, yeah, I remember that.
Their leader said that if he
ever tried to get it, she'd
stick it somewhere really
painful.
I love that board.
Cait promised to help me.
I just hope she has a good plan.
For a minute there, I thought
she was going to ask for our
help.
Close one.
You guys are a couple of real
heroes.
Lemon's closed.
(Gasping)
Maybe the escalator girls have
already gotten to Caitlin.
Check it out: "Lemon closed
due to sever ugliness"?
(Phone ringing)
Speak.
Jude?
It's Caitlin.
Caitlin, you're alive!
Yeah, I'm just too hideous to
be your in-person friend.
I can only be your on-the-phone
friend.
Bummer.
Jonesy's not answering his
cell.
Can you deliver a message to
him for me?
Definitely.
Okay.
You got a pen?
So how'd Nikki take it?
Were there tears?
I don't know, couldn't do it.
Here's your money back.
I don't accept your refund.
Yeah, well, management
reserves the right to refuse
service.
If you don't break up with
Nikki for me, I'll tell everyone
you're dating five rebound
chicks.
That's completely breaking
the guy code!
Watch me.
Whatever.
Nikki's more important to me
than some stupid business or
rebound chicks.
In fact, you know what?
I'll save you the trouble.
Jonesy, you're fired.
What a wimp.
No big deal.
Nikki can be reasonable.
You're dumping me?
In the Khaki Barn?
My ex-girlfriend's moving
back to the city.
I'm really sorry.
I knew it wouldn't last.
Here, in case you need to
throw something.
Go, Nikki!
Ah!
I tried to get Jonesy to do
it and--
Oh, wait a minute!
You did not just say you hired
someone to dump me.
Ooh!
Popcorn?
Shh, this is about to get
good.
Yeah, actually.
I thought it'd be easier coming
from a friend, but the guy
wimped out.
I can't believe I ever
actually liked you.
Hey, I was just thinking
about your feelings.
Right.
Is this how you treat
everyone you like?
No, only the people who
really get on my nerves.
It's true.
You know what?
I came here to explain why we
had to break up, but I can see
now that you're not interested.
You got that right!
Jerk.
(Screaming)
Hey, Nikki, how goes it?
Great, except Stone's a big
fat jerk.
But I guess you knew that
already.
Yeah, but for the record
though, I never liked that dude.
And I gave him his money back.
So are you okay?
Yeah.
Jonesy, can I ask you a
question?
You don't think I'm harsh, do
you?
Totally, you're a pain in the
butt.
And if Stone's too stupid to
love it, then it's his loss.
Don't ever change, got that?
Got it.
Thanks.
Any time.
(Yelling)
Oh, that's it!
Picking on a little kid?
Now they've gone too far.
Wait, are you sure you want
to do this?
Yeah, we already have one
friend we're not allowed to see
anymore.
Someone has to stand up to
them.
Before you know it, they'll be
running this whole food court.
Who's with me?
Fine, I'll do this on my own!
Hey, escalator girls!
Put that kid down and give me
back my keys, now!
Now the keys!
(Growling)
Thank you!
That was totally awesome!
You did it, Jen!
You stood up to the escalator
girls.
No one has ever done that
before.
I-I can't feel my arms.
Ugh, nasty.
I miss Caitlin's lemon
squishies.
They're that good?
No, but she gives us a deal
on them.
They're expensive.
Here, the next one's on me.
Thanks.
What's this for?
Don't want it.
Breaking-bad-news money.
Bad karma, man.
(Phone ringing)
Hello?
Care to contribute that five
bucks to the Help Caitlin's
Face fund?
Caitlin?
Where are you?
Don't try to find me, Nikki.
I am too ugly to be seen in
person.
Caitlin!
Hey!
Are you still wearing the
Smash Face?
It's too expensive to throw
out!
The compact, hand it over.
Now.
(Laughing)
What's with the tough girl
routine?
I'd listen to me if I were
you.
The escalator girls thought I
was pretty tough.
Yeah, only because I paid
Jonesy five bucks to tell them
you were a champion kick boxer
who k*lled a guy in a fight last
year.
Jonesy!
What can I say?
Five bucks is five bucks.
And I thought they gave me
back my keys because I had the
guts to stand up for myself.
Hey, that's mine!
Give it back!
(Gasping)
Oh, no.
Not the escalator girls.
I'll never get it back now.
It's time to let the Smash
Face go.
Free refills all around.
My face is once again flawless.
Can't say the same for the
escalator girls.
Eww.
Don't aim your zit puss at
me!
Oh, my mistake, beauty queen.
You're not invisible, Jude.
I'll just be sitting down
again.
Here, I'm hosting a k*ller
party this weekend.
Cool.
Thanks.
Great DJ.
We'll be there.
I guess you can come too.
Sweet!
Thanks, Rita.
Did somebody mention a
par-tay?
What the heck was that for?
Just a message from all of us
rebound girls to you.
Only this time, it's not just
business, it's personal!
Jerk!
Hey, that line is
trademarked.
Fork over the royalties.
(Laughing)
♪
02x49 - Dirty Work
Watch/Buy Amazon
Revolves around the lives of six sixteen-year-old friends who work part-time jobs at different stores within the mall.
Revolves around the lives of six sixteen-year-old friends who work part-time jobs at different stores within the mall.