03x65 - Oops, I Dialed It Again

[bunniefuu]

[ ♪ ]


What're these for?


My dad's company is testing out this new cell phone they designed,


so we each get one.


I programed our numbers into them already.


I don't know. It's kinda...


Free!


No way. Right on.


Cool.


One month of free calls.


As much time on the phone as you want.


Well, someone is paying for it,


and I'm sure your dad expects us to be responsible...


JUDEHello? I'm Jude.


You don't know me,


but we can change that and it won't cost me a thing.


I was born as a small child...


[ PHONE DISCONNECTS ]


Hello?


Huh, who knew they were so rude in Sweden?


Sweden? Jude!


Jonesy's been complaining about his hockey skates falling apart,


so I'm saving up to buy him a new pair.


Got any ideas?


What's the occasion?


No occasion. Just a gift.


Nikki!


You can't do that!


Boys buy US gifts for no reason,


not the other way around!


Uh... you lost me.


Duh! It's boy-girl .


Men are the hunters,


women get presents.


Ah! Oops!


I could use my employee discount.


That would save you some money on the skates.


Oh that's awesome! Thanks, Jen.


And you could probably double your wages with commissions


if you were a little nicer to customers.


Uh, there are limits, okay, even for Jonesy.


Caitlin's an expert on sucking up.


She can help! Absolutely.


Ahhhhhhh!


[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]


Ew...


[JONESY LAUGHS] You look like a snot walrus.


Ohhh...


[ ♪♪♪ ]


[ ♪ ]


♪ LIFE BEGINS AFTER SCHOOL ♪


♪ THAT'S WHEN WE BEND ALL THE RULES ♪


♪ TIME TO HANG WITH ALL MY FRIENDS ♪


♪ WE LIKE TO BE TOGETHER


♪ IN A PLACE WHERE WE BELONG! ♪


♪ I'M TEEN, STARTING TO FIND MY WAY ♪


♪ GOT A NEW JOB, GONNA START AT THE MALL TODAY ♪


♪ THANK GOD I'M ON MY OWN FOR THE FIRST TIME ♪


♪ I'M TEEN, LIFE IS SWEET ♪


♪ WHEN YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST ♪


♪ YOU GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES LAST ♪


[ ♪ ]


♪ I'M TEEN...


♪ I'M TEEN... ♪ TEEN...


♪ GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES LAST ♪


[ ♪ ]


[ ♪ ]


♪ Saving a child falling from the sky ♪


♪ is worth much more


♪ than any one man's pride ♪


Wow.


All I can say is... wow.


I can't believe you wrote a song about yesterday


and DIDN'T use snot walrus.


Agreed.


I think it's the best song you've ever written.


You should be really proud of yourself, Wyatt.


I kinda am.


I mean, when I got home the song just poured out of me.


Was it from your nostrils?


Snot walrus!


It was like being humiliated


caused this surge of creativity.


Maybe we should publicly disgrace you on purpose from now on.


Hey! That's a great idea!


Uh, that was me, kid-ding.


I'm not!


The band is short a few songs for our new demo.


You'd be helping our career!


C'mon, please?


I've never needed an excuse to humiliate you.


I'm in. Okay.


All right.


Fine.


But only for the good of the band.


Excellent.


Come and get me!


[ CELL PHONE RINGING ]


Jude, why are you calling me?


I'm not. Must be a bum call.



Bum call?


Y'know, when your bum accidentally speed dials someone.


Bum call.


Eww!


I don't wanna talk to anyone's bum!


Why?


I got a nice bum.


Focus, people.


What are we going to do to humiliate Wyatt?


Hi, do you have a moment to make the world a better place?


Sorry, but I'm late for work.


That's okay.


I'll just check the "I don't care" box.


I didn't say I don't care!


I said I was late for work.


It'll only take a minute,


and it's to help the world!


Okay.


If it's to help the world, I --


MAN'S VOICEHello. What is your name?


Uh, Jennifer Masterson.


Hello, Jennifer. Let's begin.


Question oneHow old are you?


I'm sixteen.


You're a very smart girl, Jennifer.


Oh! I do get straight 'A's.


But how is sitting here answering questions


going to help the world?


Question number two...


for the very smart girl...


You wanted help?


Well, here's your chance.


Go earn some commission for Jonesy's skates.


[ FALSELY CHEERFUL] Hi, welcome to the Khaki barn.


I'm Nikki. How can I help you?


Is Nikki actually trying to sell something?


I'm looking for a top exactly like this!


But not this top! And I want it in pink!


With long sleeves! And a cowl neck!


So exactly like this but completely different?


Uh... okay, umm, maybe... umm...


Let me just have... Oh, forget it.


Talk to one of them.


Nikki, you almost had them!


That was commission impossible.


[ CELL PHONE DIALS ]


[ CELL PHONE RINGING ]


Hey Nikki, wassup?


NIKKThis feels wrong. It's just not me.


What, something feels wrong?!


What feels wrong? Hello, Nikki?


Talk to me!


Huh?


Ladies and Gentleman, your attention please.


Wyatt started his musical career at an early age,


when he was younger.


[ LAUGHTER ]


This can't be happening...


Sadly, most of the world will never hear


the first song Wyatt wrote,


but those of you here today will.


What? No!


It's called "I Love You Mommy".


Hit it!


YOUNG WYATT♪ I'm brushing and flossing ♪


♪ look both ways when crossing ♪


♪ My room is clean


♪ I'm never mean


♪ my homework is done


♪ because... I love my mom ♪


I don't recall ordering dinner and a floor show.


Move along, maggots.


And you! Sicko!


I heard you tried to cover a child in boogers.


I caught the baby, see,


but then I sneezed and -- Save it.


Just know that I'm watching you.


Question ...


If you had to always wear a hat or never wear a hat,


which would it be?


Okay, how is your knowing whether I wear a hat


going to help the world? Invalid.


No hat! Never wear a hat!


Can I go now? Coach is going to k*ll me!


Question ... Argh!


Ohhhh...


Bad shopper! Bad!


Nikki, customers want a salesgirl


that's sweet and really pretty.


Oh! I know.


Pretend you're me!


Nope, never gonna happen.


You wanna make extra commission for Jonesy or not?


Fine, I'll practice being you on the next person who walks through.


Remember, you're me. Good luck!


Hi, I'm Nikki.


And I totally know what you would look great in.


I'm not sure these are really me.


Don't think...


just trust.



These are kinda small, do you have a bigger size?


[ CELL PHONE DIALLING ]


[ CELL PHONE RINGING ]


Hello?


NIKKIJust take off those pants and I'll help you out.


What?!


CUSTOMERI'll try anything you throw my way, beautiful.


NIKKOh, you big flirt!


Nikki?


What's going on? Can you hear me?


What do you think of these babies?


Oh, sweet, sweet, sweet!


[ CELL PHONE DISCONNECTS ]


Nikki's cheating on me?


That can't be!


Can it?


I'm almost finished my next song,


"Little Mama's Boy Blues".


Seriously, we should end this now.


You can't!


I'm just two songs away from finishing the new demo CD.


You okay, Jonesy?


Everything is sweet, sweet, sweet.


O-kay.


Well, I gotta get to work.


Yeah... me too.


Jonesy, h-have you got any ideas on what to do to Wyatt next?


Sure!


Why don't you just get Nikki to help him out of his pants?


Welcome to the Khaki Barn!


Have a Khaki day!


Hi, Nikki! Hey, what's up?


[ CELL PHONE DIALLING ]


[ CELL PHONE RINGING ]


Hello, Nikki.


NIKKICaitlin! Flirting is really paying off.


This plan is really coming together.


I'm so happy for you, Nikki.


[ PHONE DISCONNECTS ]


Plan? What plan?!


[ PHONE RINGS ]


What now?


Jonesy, are you happy in your current relationship?


Oh, sure.


Nikki's hitting on every guy in the mall.


Who wouldn't be happy about that?


What are you talking about?


MAN'S VOICEHang up your phone.


Who was that?


Uh, just some stupid computer questionnaire I started...


Jonesy?


Did you cut off my call?


Are you happy in your current relationship?


Uh! I keep telling you, I'm not in a relationship!


[ HUMMING TO HIMSELF ]


WYATTNooo! Seriously!


Oww! Stop! Juuuude?!


JUDEThis is for your own good, dude!


WYATTAhhhhh! Get off!


Aw, come on. Please!


No - I beg you! Jude!!


Are those Wyatt's clothes? Mm-hmm.


Oh, this is going to be so good...


Okay, you just have to make it to work.


You've got clothes there.


You can do this...


[ CAT CALLS AND WOLF WHISTLES ]


Ahhh! Oh, Marlowe, hey.


[ WOLF WHISTLES ]


[ ♪ ]


I've almost made --


I'll just get in the cart.


Your parents are on their way to pick you up.


Maybe you should call


one of your scum-bag friends


and get them to bring you some clothes.


Least this cell phone fit in there.


I'll just call my scum-bag friends now.


What's up? Hey, Nikki...


I think this would win anyone's heart, don't you?


No man could resist such a cute dress!


Nikki IS cheating on me.


And in a sundress.


WYATTDon't do this! Nikki, please!


Don't worry, Wyatt.


You're bound to get a great song out of it.


I'm sure your parents will find you to be


the belle of the ball.


[ BOTH LAUGH HYSTERICALLY ]


Okay, Operation Humiliate Wyatt.


Take .


Ready!


In order to help Wyatt write another good song,


I'm going to lure him to the fountain


at exactly .


The height of the lunch crowd.


Then you push Wyatt into the fountain.


People will laugh. Wyatt will be humiliated.


Band gets great song.


Hear ya loud and clear, bra.



Which one am I again?


This. This is you!


This blue stick figure.


Same as the first times!


I see.


Now where's my hat?


Can I wear my hat when we do this?


Okay, catch ya later, bra!


♪ Walk a mile in her dress ♪


♪ to know how she feels ♪


♪ To really know pain


♪ you've got to wear heels ♪


♪ A woman is a woman and a man is a... ♪


Nikki is cheating on me!


What? You're crazy!


Not Nikki.


That's what I thought,


but she keeps bum calling me and I've heard these things...


I'm sure it's just a simple misunder --


Wait! Before you go?


Oh, right.


Thanks.


Shouldn't you be working?


Could ask you the same thing. Good point.


[ CELL RINGS ]


JENHey, Nikki. Hey, Jen!


I almost have the money for Jonesy's skates.


You can pick them up later.


Now name three cheeses.


Why?


'Cause I'm stuck in a questionnaire booth


and I can't leave until I answer all the questions!


Aren't you supposed to be at work?


Nik... three cheeses!


Cheddar, Brie and mozzarella.


Thanks!


I can pick up the skates later today.


That sure is a great gift!


[ CELL RINGS ]


Hello?


When are you going to give it to Jonesy?


This weekend I guess.


And he has no idea?


Nah, it's a total surprise.


Out with the old and in with the new!


I wish I could see the look on his face.


Oh, he might even cry!


Yeah!


Oh! I can't believe Nikki's really going to dump me.


Again.


And Caitlin wants to see me cry.


I'm not going to let this happen,


y'hear!


I'm going to find this "sweet, sweet, sweet" guy


and tell him that he can't have Nikki!


She's mine! Oh dear...


Plus she can't dump you!


You know why, Jonesy? Do you know why?


Hey, Jonesy.


Because you're the hottest person in this mall.


Oh, thanks for noticing.


People look up to you. People want to be you.


Gosh, that's so nice.


Just look at your body.


Sexy.Um...


No, SUPER sexy! Okay, seriously...


No one is more desirable than you.


Ah! What about Nikki?


Whatever! You're the hottest!


Listen, Jonesy, I'm really not comfortable with this,


and I'm hanging up now.


Good-bye.


Jonesy?


Jonesy? Are you there?


Me? Yes, you, dummy!


Oh, so now you're calling me?


What are you doing tonight?


Dunno. WHY? I mean...why?


Can we meet up. We really need to talk.


Oh, hear it goes! I mean, not tonight.


I got a thingy!


Actually this whole weekend looks bad!


BAAAAD! Are you okay?


Recep... [MAKES CRACKLING NOISE]


can't hear... bye...


Question .


How many boys have you kissed?


Why would you need to know that?!


Invalid.


Forget helping the world! Someone has to help me!


[ DIALS CELL ]


Caitlin, I need your help.


Jonesy hit on me!


What? Who hit on you?


Jonesy! Oh, this is bad.


I'm on my way!


MAN'S VOICEWe're not finished yet.


You don't understand! I have to go!


Question ...


Look, my friend needs me,



and if you think any of this can help the world,


you're mistaken.


I do not make mistakes.


Yes, you do.


What was the first question you asked me?


"How old are you?"


Wrong, you asked me my name!


"How old are you" was question two,


but you called it question one!


I don't... I don't...


Mistake. Mistake. [COMPUTER MALFUNCTIONS]


Question one was really question two,


and question two was really question three.


All of them were mistakes.


Ha! Take that!


♪ Daisy, Daisy...


Thanks to your little stunt,


I've added a new rule to my book.


Okay...


Rule , paragraph nine,


subheading "underpants".


Anyone caught exposing themselves in the mall


is automatically banned for life.


Banned. For. Life!


You've been warned.


Argh! That Jonesy makes me sick!


I know.


I mean, am I charming? Yes.


Pretty? Of course!


But none of that makes it right.


You have to say something to Nikki.


Before she gives him these skates! I know.


[ CELL RINGS ]


Hello?


Okay, Wyatt. Bye.


What did Wyatt want?


We aren't allowed to strip him anymore.


You miss so much


when you try to make the world a better place.


Then Ron said that I'll get kicked out of the mall for life


if I show up in my underwear again.


Jude is the only one that doesn't know.


So if you see him, tell him.


Sure, whatever.


You still haven't talked to Nikki have you?


It's worse than I thought, dude!


I heard her and Caitlin talking about it.


Nikki's going to dump me this weekend.


Oh no. Whoa.


My only hope is finding this new guy


and get him to back off.


Oh, sweet, sweet, sweet!


Wait.


I know that voice...


What gives you the right to steal my girlfriend?!


You stay away from MY Nikki!


Who's Nikki? Oww!


Jonesy, have you gone mad?!


This guy? Why him?


I never would have cheated on you, Nikki!


What?! Never would have cheated?


Really, Jonesy? Then why did you hit on Caitlin?


What?! What?!


Ow! OW! Wait!


There's been a mistake!


Why would you even say that?


Don't play innocent with me!


You make me sick, Jonesy!


What?! Ahhhh!


That's it! Naked guy!


You are out of the mall...


FOR LIFE!


Oops.


[ ♪ ]


When Caitlin told me what you said


I should have guessed you were complimenting yourself.


And I should have trusted you more Nikki.


I'm sorry I freaked out.


It was fun to see you all jealous like that.


I should bum call you more often.


No. No. No.


Everyone hand in your phones.


These are going back with a very bad review!


Hey, y'know that questionnaire booth you got trapped in.


It was run by a teen marketing firm.


So they were just using me


to find out about the latest teen trends?


Whew... I feel so... used.


It's got an 'out of order' sign on it.


What did you do to it?


Turns out it was really good at asking questions,


just not so great at answering them.


Dude, I'm just glad I didn't get you kicked out of the mall.


Well, you did get me kicked out.


You showed the mall his butt,


but I saved it.


How'd you swing that?


The Jonesmeister's got a few tricks up his sleeve.


Back when I worked for Ron


I found a videotape of him.



Really? What was on it?


We promised we would never talk about it.


Part of the deal.


Aww. Aww.Aww.


But I never promised not to SING about it!


♪ The men's washroom was full ♪


♪ Ron couldn't wait his turn ♪


♪ got caught peeing in the ladies ♪


♪ and baby he got b*rned ♪


[ THEY LAUGH ]