04x83 - 6 Teens and a Baby

[bunniefuu]

[ ♪ ]


Make way for Number One,


the brother and the fluid!


How are you not tired


from that all-night crying session?


After Robbie and Diego,


I'm a pro at sleeping through baby cries.


Jen, I need a favour.


Does it involve sleeping?


No... can you watch Emma while your step-dad and I go out for the day?


Are you sure she can handle it?


I'm available and experienced...


especially if cash is involved.


I can handle it just fine!


Great. Good luck!


Awww.


We're going to have a fun day, you and me, aren't we?


[ STARTS SCREAMING ]


Oh no! What did I just agree to?


[ ♪♪♪ ]


[ ♪ ]


♪ LIFE BEGINS AFTER SCHOOL ♪


♪ THAT'S WHEN WE BEND ALL THE RULES ♪


♪ TIME TO HANG WITH ALL MY FRIENDS ♪


♪ WE LIKE TO BE TOGETHER


♪ IN A PLACE WHERE WE BELONG! ♪


♪ I'M TEEN, STARTING TO FIND MY WAY ♪


♪ GOT A NEW JOB, GONNA START AT THE MALL TODAY ♪


♪ THANK GOD I'M ON MY OWN FOR THE FIRST TIME ♪


♪ I'M TEEN, LIFE IS SWEET ♪


♪ WHEN YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST ♪


♪ YOU GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES LAST ♪


[ ♪ ]


♪ I'M TEEN...


♪ I'M TEEN... ♪ TEEN


♪ GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES LAST ♪


[ ♪ ]


[ ♪ ]


[ BABY SQUEALING ]


Ahhh, here you go.


Good baby... warm baby.


Soothing baby.


[ BABY SCREAMS ]


Ahhh!


Okay, Nikki's into babies.


Never fear, fair princess.


I will protect you from the evil Clones!


Oh, Darth, you're my hero!


Shall we dance, mistress?


I thought you'd never ask.


What the --?! Ech!!


I was just having the worst dream EVER.


I wish I could sleep long enough to dream.


My kid sister is a non-stop crying machine...


Hang on, got another call.


Masterson, Coach Halder here.


I need you to come in and cover a shift.


If you insist! Just hang on.


Jonesy! Coach is pulling me in to work,


so I need you to watch Emma.


Oh, really?


Well, I'd be happy to take the job...


for a small fee.


Say % of whatever you make today at work?


No way! I'll give you %


!


Seven! % final offer!


UGH! Fine, deal.


Sucker.


Better him than me! Okay, Coach, I'll be right over.


Hello? Hellooo?


Hmpf... same to you!


Wyatt, I need you to supervise


the training of your new co-worker...


Wayne?!


Good day, Wyatt.


Shouldn't you be insulting customers at a video store somewhere?


Underground Video closed down,


so I had to find a new career


to sustain the lifestyle


to which I've grown accustomed.


You have a lifestyle?


Yeah, we're gonna get along just fine.


Why don't you go watch the training video a few hundred times?


Oh, I already did!


Man, that thing took my breath away!


I like your enthusiasm, Wayne.


You remind me of me.


Keep it up and some day... all this could be yours.


Wow. I can only dare to dream!


Hooooo!


I'm going on break.


But you just started!


'But you just started!'


Welcome to the new World Order, Sir Mopes-a-Lot.


Tim loves me.


Better get used to it.


[ ANGRY GROWL ]


Okay, I'll be back by .


Don't forget my fee!



Hey, poopy pants!


[ BABY STARTS SCREAMING ]


What the --


C'mon, ugh!


Are you sure you can handle this?


Totally!


Well, good luck!


You too!


Won't need luck!


I mean, how hard can it be?


We hang, she pays... piece of cake!


Look, EmmaGrand Theft Motorbike!


Check out the sweet graphics.


[ SHE COOS ]


See, I know what babies like.


Out of the way, geezer... boom!


Woo, that's gonna leave a mark.


[ SCREAMING ]


Aw, don't like gaming?


No problem.


We'll go old school!


VROOOM! It's the runaway race car!


[ CRYING ]


Okaaay.


How about dollies?


[ HAPPY COOING SOUNDS ]


Sure, every girl loves a dolly!


Boo beep boop! BOOP BOOP!


What's that L ? A man-eating alien?


RUN!! AAAAAHHH!


[ EAR-PIERCING SCREAM ]


Uh...


Look, I'm a monkey!


Eep eep eep!


[ SCREAMING CONTINUES ]


Come on, Emma!


Blulalulah! Wheee!


Aw, man! What do you want?


There's gotta be something you'd like.


I got it! C'mon.


We're going on a little field trip.


Why would anyone dream about that?


Okay, Khaki staffers... meeting!


Eeeeeee!


[SARCASTIC] Yippee.


We're missing pairs of poplin pants


and piqued polos, all in husky.


I think we've got ourselves a shoplifter, size large.


[ GASP ]


I need someone to go to the stockroom


and watch all the security tapes for the last week.


Nikki.


ME? What about them?


They love watching mindless drivel!


Gaah!


Okay, I'll do it!


Great.


k*ll me now.


So these buttons are individual items,


and these are the combos.


One veggie combo coming up.


A veggie burger?


Puhleeze!


Whatsa matter, don't wanna hurt any cows?


Moo-Hoo. I-I-I --


Do you know how many vegetables are k*lled to make one veggie burger?


Seventy-three!


And don't even get me started on how they make veggie hot dogs!


You make me sick.


Get out of here before I call the cops!


Come back!


You really can't do that here.


Tim, back me up.


Wayne can't refuse to sell veggie burgers


just 'cause he thinks they're lame.


Well, they don't bring in customers,


and the ones who do eat 'em smell like tofu.


We should pull the veggie burger off the menu.


Good call, Wayne!


You know it, boss man!


Why me?


Aaaah, the mall!


This is where your big bro goes to make his coin


and hang with his peeps.


[ SCREAMING ]


Aw, come ON!


Hey, bro.


That is one sad little dudette.


What's the matter with her?


I have no idea!


How about a nice soother?


For a mini person


she's got some pretty huge lungs, man.


Must be from Jen's side of the family.


C'mon, Emma, buck up!


I think she misses her Mommy, dude.


You got any other moms on ya?


Just Jen, but no way is she going to find out


I can't handle this.


I know... Nikki!



She'll bail me out!


[ YAWN ]


Fair princess,


you are as radiant as the three suns of Blickblach.


Oh, Darth, I think I might be falling for you.


Your words are sweet ambrosia to my Jedi ears.


Kiss me, my sweet.


BWAAAAGH! Pitouey! Oh!


You have GOT to be KIDDING me!


Nikki, I need your help!


Awwh... is that wittle Emma?


Hey there, pookums!


Cutesy wootsy woo!


Yeah, Jen was babysitting but she had to go into work,


so I took over...


figured you might wanna see her.


Oh, I could stare at this face all day.


Yeah, yeah...


you're a wittle hoosha boosha


wootsy pootsy doodlebum a doo doo!


Isn't she, Jonesy?


Jonesy?


One word and you'll be eating diaper!


And these are the jingles you sing when you're flipping patties.


"Flipping patties and feelin' fine,


"Burger McFlipster's is the place to dine"?


Ouch! Which brain-dead moron wrote these?


That would be me.


Way to sell out to the man, rock star!


I for one will never sing these atrocities.


Hey! The customers love 'em!


Brother, you can do it your way,


I'll do it mine.


And mine doesn't include singing, capisce?


Mmf... oh, Come on.


Ergonomic, my butt...


Caitlin! Have you seen Jonesy?


No, but I see Emma!


Ya, Jonesy dumped the cutie patootie babootie pie on me.


Whose gonna k*ll Jonesy, huh?


Me, that's who!


Is that why you look so frazzled?


Maybe you need more beauty sleep.


Yeah! Anything but!


I keep having -- no, I can't say.


You'll just blab to everyone.


No I won't, I swear!


Ugh, fine.


I've been having hot dreams about...


Darth.


EW! DARTH?!


SHH! Keep it down!


Oops! Sorry.


So... are you into him?


Of course not!


Good, 'cause you can do SO much better than that.


Nikki again?


What is she plotting?


Time for evasive action.


Wow, he's really gotten to you!


Oh, I gotta talk to Jen.


Here, can you take Emma for a little while?


Oh, I don't know.


I've never actually baby-sat before...


Cute baby...


Cutie.


On second thought, take your time!


Thanks.


And remember... not a word!


[ EMMA FUSSES THEN SCREAMS ]


Oh-oh... it's okay, Emma.


If I learned one thing taking care of baby dolls,


it's that when you tip them back,


their eyes shut and they go to sleep.


[ SCREAMING ESCALATES ]


How come your eyes aren't closing?


I think you might need a repair!


[ BURPING, GURGLING SOUNDS ]


Why are you making those sounds?


Oh no...


Phew!


What are you doing?


Dodging Darth.


I coulda hid in the stockroom all day


if Jonesy hadn't left me with Emma.


What?! Where's Emma now?


It's okay, I left her with Caitlin.


You really think that's a good idea?


She'll be fine...


[ CAITLIN AND EMMA WAILING AND SCREAMING ]


EW!


Help me.


[ BOTH WAILING AND SCREAMING ]


This calls for another break.


Later! [SIGH]


What are you doing with Emma?


J-Jonesy had her,


and then N-N-Nikki had a hot dream about Darth,


and now I'm covered in b-b-barf!


Nikki had a hot dream about Darth?



Oh no, she's gonna k*ll me!


Well, you are under a bit of stress at the moment.


[IN A SOFT VOICE] What's the matter, little one?


[ SCREEECH! ]


[ ♪ ]


[ HAPPY COOING SOUNDS ]


Oh, Wyatt, you're a genius.


Can you watch her for a bit?


I need to clean up before the smell sinks in.


[ GAGS ]


Back soon!


[ COOS HAPPILY ] There, all better.


[ SCREAMING ]


Okay, okay...


[ ♪ ]


[ HAPPY SOUNDS ]


[ SIGH ] I can't play forever, Emma.


Crying babies and acoustic guitars?


Doesn't seem right to me, Tim.


Exactly, think of the customers!


Yeeeaah.


I'll go drop her off.


♪ Oh we're off to find your brother ♪


♪ 'cause I can't keep playing mother... ♪


I can't wait to take Emma back to Jonesy


and read him the riot act.


I just want to stay awake.


Every time I fall asleep I have this hot dream


about this... not-so-hot guy.


Ew!


Well, if it makes you feel any better,


I once had a hot dream about...


Wayne!


Does everyone dream about making out with repulsive people?


Wyatt, why do YOU have Emma?


After Nikki gave her to Caitlin,


things didn't go so well.


You'd be surprised how much puke


can come out of one little baby.


Ew! Sick!


Caitlin's getting cleaned up,


so I figured I'd take Emma to Jonesy.


I should probably take her, Wyatt.


No, please, let me.


Anything to get away from my new co-worker, Wayne.


Wayne? THE Wayne?


Yup! The guy's taking jerk to a whole new level.


He even dissed my jingles!


Is nothing sacred?


Wow, I thought I had it bad.


Oh ya, the Darth dreams.


You're not in to him, are you?


Darth?!


THE Darth?


How do you -- Caitlin!


GRRR!


Oh, Jonesy?


I think this is yours!


Wait a sec, why do you have Emma?


Nikki gave her to Caitlin


but the puke started flying,


so here I am.


Well, at least she's not crying anymore.


Maybe I can distract her with my house keys!


Babies love jingly-jangly keys.


Have a seat, tiny dudette.


[ SHE CALMS DOWN ]


Whoa! Emma loves the Zamboni!


Jude, what if I hire you


as a substitute babysitter subcontractor


for a cut of my babysitting fee?


Sounds good to me, bro.


How's it sound to you, Junior Emma?


[ CONTENTED GROAN ]


Yeah, she's in.


[ TEXT MESSAGE BEEPS ]


It's from Caitlin.


"Thanks for taking Emma.


"Don't tell anyone about Nikki's Darth dreams."


Oh man.


Nikki had a dream about Darth?


He said "dreams," plural, dude.


Really not helping.


No wonder she was acting so weird!


[ LAUGH ]


Yeah! Like, what if she's all into him and stuff?


[ LAUGH ]


Not cool, man.


Not cool!


You told!!


Oh, Nikki, I'm so sorry,


but Emma was crying... oh, the barf, hooo,


Well, if anyone else finds out


I had a dream about kissing Darth, I swear --


I knew it! Nikki has the hots for me!


Whoo Hoo!


Okay, that one was YOUR fault.


It was just a nightmare, Darth,


don't get any big ideas!


The Whispertron never lies!



Nikki has the hots for me. Nikki has the hots for me...


Shut up or I'll wring your neck!


She can't keep her hands off me! AAARGH!


[BABY GIBBERISH] Really? Wow!


Dude, your sis tells some awesome stories!


Oh ya?


Does she know why Nikki dreamt about Darth?


[ BABY GIBBERISH ]


She thinks they were nightmares.


She also says she's cool with the name Emma,


but her real name is Clementine.


Whoa. For real?


Jude, you're like some sorta... baby whisperer!


Huh?


You can understand and talk to babies.


No way.


[CHUCKLE] Cool.


You can understand babies?


Can you interpret my baby's cooing?


[ COOS ]


Ma'am, your baby says her real name is Wishbone.


JONESYDude, this is your golden ticket!


Tell people what they're babies are thinking


for bucks a pop,


we'll be rich!


Anyone ever told you you look like a movie star?


I should know, I've seen every movie there is.


Wayne, less chatting, more singing.


Oh, Wyatt, when will you ever learn?


Hey, Tim!


Whaddya say we lose the jingles?


Yeah, see, Tim may like you,


but he LOVES jingles.


In fact, I bet he'd love to hear one right now.


C'mon, everyone, give it up for Wayne!


[ CHEERS ]


But I... haven't... really...


Touché.


[SEVERELY OFF-KEY!] ♪ Burgers are my favourite treat ♪


♪ nothin' beats the smell of meat ♪


♪ gobble 'em up


♪ or pound 'em down,


♪ my hot patties are the best in town! ♪


Wow.


I thought you were special, Wayne.


Clearly, I was wrong.


Whatever that was... never do it again.


Ever.


Wyatt one, Wayne zero.


You better stay here


so we don't get you mixed up with all the other baby dudes,


'kay, Clementine?


Uh huh...gotcha.


Ma'am, your baby thinks you eat too much garlic.


What's this?


Underage Zamboni driving in my mall?


You have been confiscated, my little maggot.


I want to report a Zamboni infraction to the rink manager.


Aww.


Of course I'm flattered Nikki's hot for me.


Years ago, I might have even given her the time of day.


But I'm with the hottest girl in the mall now,


so it's just sad... OW!


Stop that!


Sure, right after you stop lying about me,


Obi Wanna Blankie!


You're the one who dreamt about me.


Hmm, what's more humiliating,


having a nightmare or getting beaten up by a girl?


You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses!


[SATISFIED SIGH] That's better.


What's going on here?


Oh Jen, our little Jude has a gift.


Well, I gotta get our little Emma home.


Who'dya dump her on this time?


Dude, I think we dropped the ball.


What?!


Guys, You gotta help us find Emma!


What happened? Jonesy happened.


You're fired, substitute babysitter!


You're fired, subcontractor!


[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]


Yello? Yeah. Oh, okay.


Aw man...


I just got fired from the rink.


Ron found some baby driving the Zamboni around the mall.


Emma!


[GASPS] What the --


♪ And if that mockingbird don't sing ♪


♪ Ronnie's gonna make some... buffalo wings ♪


[HUMMING THE LULLABYE]


Wow! Ron's got the magic touch!


Shh, keep it down, maggot.


She just ate,


so you don't want to feed her for another two hours.


Um, thanks, Ron.


Gotta run, guys.


My parents will be home any minute!


[ HAPPY COOING ]


What's that, Clementine? [COOING]



She says your Mom was a bit nervous


about Jen's lack of experience --


Ha! I'm the man!


[COOING]


But at least you're more responsible than Jonesy.


Ha! Looks like I'm the man!


Sooo... dreamin' about Darth?


[SIGH] NO, I'm not into him.


Oh ya, I totally knew it.


Kinda.


Don't worry...


the only space case I'm interested in is you.


You always know just what to say.


[ ♪ ]


So did you b*at your parents home?


Yep. Emma's back in her crib


and they're none the wiser.


Well, that's it.


I've watched every security tape


and there's no sign of shoplifting.


Maybe Chrissy counted the inventory wrong.


Yeah, I don't think she can go much past anyway.


Well, good luck. I'm taking a nap!


Oh, Chrissy...


[ MUTTERING AND SNORING ]


Never fear, sweet princess...


I will protect you to the end of my days.


Oh, Jonesy, you light my sabre.


What the -- WHOA!


Ow!


Bad dream?


SCARED VOICEI don't wanna talk about it!