03x15 - The Demonator

[bunniefuu]

My brother drake? He's all

About immediate gratification.

There's brownies in there...

And I want 'em!

"Immediate gratification"

Means when you want something,

You gotta have it, like, right

Now.

I could be eating a brownie

Right now...if it wasn't

For josh.

See, I came up with this

Amazing brownie recipe when I

Was only years old.

He calls 'em fudgie boos.

I named 'em fudgie boos. But,

Come on, I was .

So tonight he spends, like,

An hour and a half mixin' his

Brownie ingredients in a bowl.

And while I was makin' 'em

Tonight, drake's, like, standing

Over me the whole time.

He wouldn't even let me

Lick the spoon.

And he keeps goin', "let me

Lick the spoon! Let me lick the

Spoon!"

I just wanted to lick the

Spoon.

I don't want his tongue on my

Spoon.

Man, when are they gonna be

Ready?

They'll be ready in about

More minutes. And you know what?

Ok, you know what?

They'll be worth the wait.

I am not waiting!

You see, drake's gonna

Learn something tonight.

He's gonna learn that some

Things are just worth waiting

For.

Ohh. Ohh, it's like...

Warm brownie soup.

He'll realize that patience

Is a virtue.

Oh, my god, why didn't I do

This minutes ago?

Thanks, chet. I'm here live

At mystic mountain where you can

Literally feel the excitement,

Because everyone here is buzzing

About this new, big, bad roller

Coaster called the demonator.

Oh, my god!

Drake, check it out!

Shh!

You know how mindy and I

Always write little notes to

Each other in class?

Don't care.

She saved every note that I

Ever wrote her and put them

In this scrapbook for me. See?

Yeah, yeah, nerds in love.

Now shush.

You know, this is, like,

The nicest present anyone's

Ever given me. The least you

Could do is act like you care.

Dude, this is a news report

About the demonator.

The demonator?! What'd they

Say?! What'd they say?!

That it's thefastest, the

Scariest, most intense, most

Dangerous roller coaster in

The world.

Whoa!

And we are gonna ride it

Tomorrow, the first day it

Opens.

Hey, you wanna practice?

Ok. I'll set the mood.

[Electronic music plays]

Chhhhhh!

Ready? Goin' up!

Welcome, ladies and

Gentlemen, to mystic mountain.

While riding the demonator,

Please remember to keep all

Hands and feet--

It's goin' down!

Aah!

[Drake and josh screaming]

[Drake and josh screaming] look out! Corkscrew!

Look out! Corkscrew!

What is this? Some new kind

Of boob dance?

Chhhhhhoohh! You're just

Jealous, little girl.

Chhhh. Yeah, because we are

Gonna ride the demonator...

The first day it opens.

Oh, yeah, and, um...

[Chuckles] you're not.

Uh, if tomorrow's the first

Day it opens, then why are those

People in line getting on

Right now?

Huh?!

Mystic mountain officials

Have just announced they'll be

Opening the demonator tonight, a

Special sneak preview for a few

Very lucky roller coaster fans.

You said we were gonna ride

It the first day it opened.

Well, who knew they'd open it

Tonight?

Aww, it's ok. You guys can

Ride it tomorrow, the second

Day it's open.

Don't worry. We're gonna ride

The demonator tonight.

Count on it.

Awesome. Hey, one more quick

Practice run?

Yeah.

[Music plays]

Chhhhh!

Ok, ready? Tchh, tchh, tchh,

Tchh, tchh, tchh. And no hands!

Whoa-ho-ho! And...no feet!

Both: aah! Oof!

♪ I never thought

That it'd be so simple, but

I found a way,

I found a way,

If you open up your mind,

It's gonna take some time

To realize,

But if you look inside

I'm sure you'll find,

Over your shoulder,

You know that I told you

I'll always be picking you up

When you're down,

So just turn around,

So just turn around, ooh-ooh-ooh, oooooooh ♪

Ooh-ooh-ooh, oooooooh ♪

[Papa nichols snoring]

Can we please hurry?

I do not want to be late.

Are you sure we should go out

Tonight? What if papa nichols

Needs us?

What's he gonna need us for?

Well, the man had surgery

Today, and he's years old.

Look, he's my grandfather.

Let me worry about it, ok?

Ok, but what if he wakes up--

I am not missing the newsie

Awards! I could win this year.

Oh, walter, you've been

Nominated for best weatherman

Years in a row, and they always

Give it to bruce winchill.

Do not mention bruce

Winchill's name in this house.

Hey, parents.

Bye, parents.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where do

You boys think you're going?

Uh, to make history?

We are going to ride the

Demonator.

No. You promised that you'd

Stay here and watch

Papa nichols.

Fine. Here, come on.

He can come with us.

Come on, josh. Grab his feet.

Why do I always have to grab

The feet?

Guys, you can't take your

Great-grandfather to ride the

Demonator.

Sure we can.

Yeah, you only have to be

This tall.

The man just had surgery, and

He's heavily medicated.

Oh, come on, he fought in

World w*r ii.

The demonator is nothing for

A man who's seen combat.

Ok, listen to my words. You

Boys are going to stay here and

Take care of papa nichols.

Are we clear?

Yes.

Fine.

Hey, walter. Take these to

The newsie awards for me,

Would ya?

Oh, how sweet. She got

You flowers for your big night.

No. They're for bruce

Winchill.

Winchill? How could you buy

Flowers for my competition?

Have you seenhis hair?

Such great hair.

It's like cotton candy, but

Brown.

Stop thinking about it! Well,

Come on. Let's just go so I can

Lose already.

All right.

And when did she start

Calling me walter?

I don't know. Boys, the

Awards'll be over around :,

So we should be home by :.

Do not leave this house.

We won't.

We're not going anywhere.

All right. Good night.

[Door closes]

We're gonna ride the

Demonator tonight, aren't we?

Oh, yeah.

But what about papa nichols?

But what about papa nichols? I got a plan.

I got a plan.

[Doorbell rings]

Oh, good, they're here.

Hey, drake. Thanks for

Inviting us to the party.

We brought you a bundt cake.

Uh, thanks.

Um, where's the party?

Are we early? You know I

Don't like being the first ones

At a party.

Don't start with me!

Guys, guys, you're not early.

Yeah. You see this old guy?

Yes?

I see him.

This is our

Great-grandfather, papa nichols.

Yeah, and he loves to party.

So, you guys hang out with him

'Cause josh and I got things

To do.

[Chuckles] you take care.

Wait a minute!

Yeah?

You duped us!

Yeah.

This is an outrage.

Come on, craig. We are

Outtie.

Ok. I guess you guys don't

Wanna watch these digitally

Remastered episodes

Of space trek.

In wide-screen dvd format.

Oh, my god. The entire first

Season!

With bonus footage!

And the alternate ending to

Episode , where spotnik dies!

All right, we'll stay.

Have fun.

See you.

Oh, wait. When's he supposed

To wake up?

Don't worry about it.

Yeah, he just had surgery.

He's on tons of medication.

He'll totally sleep through

The night. You ready?

Ready to demonate!

I can't believe you. Papa

Nichols just had surgery and now

His own great-grandsons are

Just gonna abandon him? I'm

Disgusted, and I just might

Have to tell mom and dad.

You wanna ride the demonator

With us tonight, don't you?

With us tonight, don't you? I'll get my jacket.

I'll get my jacket.

.... We're only people

Away from ridin' the demonator.

I can't believe we get to

Ride it the first night it

Opens. Uh-oh. I just had a bad

Thought.

What? That you might grow

Old, never get married,

And die alone?

No. But thank you for

Pointing out that possibility.

What's your bad thought?

What if the demonator's not

As great as we think it's

Gonna be?

You take that back!

I'm just sayin'. What if

It's all hype?

Please exit the demonator

To your left.

Oh, man, that ride was

Insane! I feel like part of me

Has d*ed, but another part has

Just been born.

I don't even care

That I puked!

Yeah. It's all hype.

Oh, man, this is gonna be the

Greatest night of our lives.

True that! Uh-oh.

I gotta pee.

Now?

Yeah, we're almost to the

Front. Can't you hold it?

Maybe. But since we're all

Gonna be sitting in the

Same roller coast--

Drake and megan: go pee.

I'll be right back.

If he doesn't make it back in

Time, we're still gonna go on

The ride, right?

If he's mauled by a bear,

We're still goin' on the ride.

[Papa nichols groaning]

Drake said he'd be asleep

All night.

Where am i? What's happening?

He's disoriented.

What did you call me?

Oh, uh, nothing, sir.

I was just--

What have you done with the

Rest of my unit?

What does he mean, "his

Unit?"

I guess he thinks he's back

In world w*r ii.

General patton, sir! It's

Sergeant nichols. I've just been

Captured by german nerds!

Oh, no--no, sir...

We're not germans.

That's just what a german

Would say!

No, you don't understand--

No, no! You'll not

Capture me, ever!

Eric!

Get over here!

Aah!

U.s.a.! U.s.a.! U.s.a.!

U.s.a.! U.s.a.! U.s.a.! U.s.a., U.s.a., U.s.a., U.s.a.!

U.s.a., U.s.a., U.s.a., U.s.a.!

Why is it takin' josh

So long to pee?

Ounces of lemonade can

Only travel so fast.

Pardon me.

Hey! The kid with the large

Head's tryin' to cut in line.

What? No, no. I was

Already standing--

No cuttin'!

[All shouting]

Hey, back of the line, punk!

Hey, megan, drake!

Hey, josh, come up here!

I'm trying!

Come on. Please. Sorry.

Excuse me. That's all right.

Drake, come on, please!

[All complaining]

Here, josh!

Hey, thanks, man.

Just let us through. Come on!

No, it's ok. He's with me.

Now they're all tryin' to

Cut in line!

What?

Security! Cutters!

We got cutters at the

Demonator. Send backup.

[Walkie-talkie static]

Ok, kids, back of the line.

Back of the line?!

We did not cut!

They did, too! I seen 'em!

[All cheering]

Papa nichols?

Papa nichols.

Papa nichols?

Papa nichols?

World w*r ii is over...

And we're not germans.

We're honor students.

Why is he hiding from us?

I guess he's confused on

Account off all that medication

They gave him after his surgery.

Well, where could he be?

Aah! [Groans]

U.s.a., U.s.a., U.s.a.,

U.s.a., U.s.a.!

I can't believe you got us

Sent to the back of the line.

You just had topee.

Sorry. Yeah, next time I'll

Just let my bladder explode.

Thank you.

Guys, it's not so bad. We'll

Still be able to ride the

Demonator and be home before

Mom and dad.

Oh, really? "Wait time from

This point, hours."

Hours?!

Hours?! Hey, no cuttin'! She said it.

Hey, no cuttin'! She said it.

Hey, no cuttin'! She said it. [Riders screaming]

[Riders screaming]

This close. We were this

Close to ridin' the demonator.

And now we get to wait

Hours.

Look, I said I was sorry.

What, do you guys just enjoy

Making me feel all bad?

Drake and megan: yep. Yes.

All right, then.

I'm a pirate! Arr!

[Chuckles] yeah, you're a

Cute little pirate. Arr! Right

Back at ya. But let's not poke

Other people with your sword,

All right? Ok. Look, guys, i--

Arr! Walk the plank,

Matey! Arr!

Excuse me, are you his

Mother?

Yeah?

Could you please say

Something?

Sure. Quit buggin' my kid!

He's tryin' to play pirate!

Arr!

Well, I see where the boy

Gets his charm.

Look, smart mouth--

You wanna tussle?!

Josh, will you cool it before

You start a fight and get us

Sent to the back of the line

Again?

Oh, yeah. I'd hate to be sent

All the way back...there.

Oh, man, it's getting late.

Maybe we should just skip the

Ride and go home.

Oh. You get us kicked to the

Back of the line and now you

Just wanna go home?

Look, if we don't b*at mom

And dad home, they'll find out

We left papa nichols, and

They'll k*ll us.

Well, we're gonna b*at 'em

Home and quit worrying about

Papa nichols. Craig and eric

Papa nichols. Craig and eric are all over it.

Are all over it.

Craig, I found him!

He's upstairs!

Oh. Thank goodness!

Papa nichols? Papa nichols,

Are you feeling better?

Aah!

Aah! Hey! Craig, help me!

Aah! Aah!

Aah!

General patton, I just got

General patton, I just got another one!

Another one!

Hey. Hey, look, we're almost

To the front of the line again.

It's about time. [Gasps]

Look, it's milford mouse!

Um, aren't you a little old

To get excited about a guy in

A bad mouse costume?

Milford mouse, over here!

I love you so much! [Laughs]

Yo, mouse! Mouse! [Rip]

Ha-ha!

Hey! You do not yank off

Milford mouse's tail!

Josh, stay out of it.

Hey, buddy! You do not yank

Off my tail!

Yeah, I know. He's the one--

How would you like it if I

Yanked off your tail, huh?

Yeah, ya like that?

Cool it, buddy!

Ohh, don't you push me!

Aah! Why, milford, why?!

Break it up!

They're hurting milford

Mouse!

Security!

[Whistle blows]

All right, that's it! Get off

Milford mouse!

Yeah, get him off of me!

What?! But he started it!

That mouse is very

Aggressive!

Look, you mess with the

Mouse, you go to the back

Of the line!

Drake and josh: what?!

You with these guys?

Never seen 'em before

In my life.

Come on!

Megan!

Ohh!

Ohh! [All cheering]

[All cheering]

All right, for the last time,

What have you done with

Colonel bradford?

We don't know.

We're not germans!

We're from lawndale.

Um, actually, I'm from north

Lawndale. See, last year,

City council--

[Cell phone ringing]

What's that noise?!

Where's it coming from?!

My shirt pocket?

What is this? Some kind of

w*apon? Are you two from the

Future?!

No. That's just my cell

Phone.

It's a trick! Incoming!

Oh, no! He ruined my picture

Phone! It had all of our

Vacation photos on it!

Vacation photos on it! From niagara falls? Aw, man!

From niagara falls? Aw, man!

Oh, man, this is not good.

Eric always answers his

Cell phone.

Dude, I'm sure papa nichols

Is still sound asleep.

No, that's not the point,

All right? We have to go home.

There's no way we can

Ride the demonator and be home

Before mom and dad get there.

Yes, we can.

Please, exit the demonator

To your left.

Hello.

You rode the demonator?

She rode the demonator.

Oh, I rode the demonator.

And?

How was it?

It was like taking a

Piggyback ride from a wild tiger

Through the eye of a tornado.

All right, we're stayin'.

[Chuckles] that's my boy.

Hey, give me the car keys. I

Gotta go lie down. [Moans]

Do you really think we can

Ride the demonator and be home

Before mom and dad get back?

Ok, let's think this through,

All right? It's been minutes

Since we were at the sign that

Said " hours from this point."

You figure an hour and

Minutes for the line, minutes

To ride the demonator,

Minutes to find the car, and

Minutes to drive home. That puts

Us at the front door at exactly

:, Which is minutes before

Mom and dad said they'd be home.

All right, like, if you could

Figure all that out...why are

You failing math?

You failing math? Because thisis important.

Because thisis important.

Almost. Unh!

We're free!

Both: yeah!

All: aah!

Both: we're sorry. We're sorry.

Both: we're sorry. We're sorry. We're sorry. We're sorry...

We're sorry. We're sorry...

Voice over p.a.: Please exit the

Voice over p.a.: Please exit the demonator to your left.

Demonator to your left.

Oh...

My...

Both: god.

We rode the demonator.

The greatest rollercoaster in

The history of mankind.

It's better than love.

It's better than girls.

Ok, don't get crazy.

Man, mom and dad are gonna be

Home in minutes.

Home in minutes. Ok, let's go.

Ok, let's go.

Hey, what's up?

Hi.

Hi. Would you come on! Let's go!

Would you come on! Let's go!

Oh, we made it.

Oh...and minutes before

Oh...and minutes before :.

:.

Why are craig and eric tied

Up?

Because your great

Grandfather went berserk. That's

Why.

He's an animal.

And I'll tell you something

Else...you guys are gonna buy me

A new cell phone.

Hey, mom and dad just drove

Up the driveway!

Oh, we've gotta get out of

Here!

[All talking at once]

Ok...

Dude, your demonator shirt!

Aah!

Go, go, go, go!

All right, that's a choice.

Go, go! Come on, come on, come

On! All right, that looks good.

You all right? You all right?

Yeah, you're all right. You're

All right!

We're home.

Hey, guys.

How'd it go?

And you're wearing my

Drapes...why?

[Chuckles] you know...it's

Getting a little chilly...

Yeah.

And so to get warm you

Thought it was--

Dad, did you win the

Weatherman award?

No. Bruce winchill won!

[Gasps] yay!

Aww. Good night, mom. Good

Night, walter.

When did she start calling

Me--

I don't know!

So how did everything go tonight

With papa nichols?

Oh, perfect.

Great. Yeah, he just slept

All night long.

As we watched him.

Yep.

Well, I guess I should wake

Him up and take him to the guest

Room.

[Papa nichols snoring]

Papa nichols. Papa nichols.

Wake up. It's time to--

Aah! Ah...nice try, german!

Usa! Usa! Usa! Usa! Usa! Usa!

Usa! Usa!

Eric! Eric?

Eric...

[Tapping on closet door]

[Tapping on closet door] eric?

Eric?

Aah! Aah! Tell the marines

The beach is secure! Aah!