02x02 - Guitar

[bunniefuu]

you know living with a new stepfather

not as bad as you might think

having a new step brother move in

worse than you might think

you want to know the hardest part about

sharing a room with drake the worst

thing about living with josh

sleeping in the same room

i swear josh snores like a hobo with a

sinus infection

drake mumbles in the sleep laugh

it sounds kind of like

try sleeping with that

but even though drake can keep me awake

at night

i love that guy

i'm hungry

i mean it was pretty darn nice to drink

letting me move into his room and he has

turned me on to a lot of cool music and

he

mustered

[Music]

anyway

i guess the important thing to remember

about being a new stepbrother is to be

respectful of each other and he took my

sandwich didn't he

josh may snore like a hobo

kid makes a good sandwich

drake

[Applause]

[Music]

hey

i'm trying to study

why

to learn things

oh whatever

stupid amp

still needs fixing

you sure you know what you're doing

there yeah

or no

and that was kept the stars with their

hit taking it all back and all you zero

gravity fans you better be listening

friday night because we're giving away

free tickets to their concert this

weekend at the san diego megadome

just be the ninth caller when you hear

the barking seal

and you'll win front row tickets to the

zero gravity concert and backstage

passes yeah

did you hear that

who didn't hear that zero gravity is my

favorite band of all time

i'm gonna win those tickets

i will be the ninth caller

uh drake yeah amp's on fire

so he uses my rope

i found a way

[Music]

it's gonna take some time

[Music]

[Music]

told you i'll always be picking you up

[Music]

the w*r of 1812

began when british sailors att*cked a

u.s frigate what was the name of that

frigate

frigate

mr nichols chesapeake

very good

now if you all turn to page 93

one of the central debates

i have to be the ninth caller friday

night so i can win the tickets to see

zero gravity

you can't guarantee you'll be the ninth

caller just by dialing fast what it's

not enough

i'm gonna need more dialers

um excuse me everyone can i have your

attention please drake

i'm teaching ah and you're doing a great

job

so this friday night i'm having a

history party awesome

so just b*at my house around eight

o'clock and we'll party it up

oh and you have to bring your cell

phones why do we need our cell phones

uh uh because because there were no cell

phones in 1812 and we're celebrating the

good fortune that we have them now

oh excuse me

hello sit down drake

[Music]

what's up parents

oh mama you looking good

oh

not as good as you looking boy nah you

looking bitter

i see you looking there now you are are

you now you are now you are nice one

okay

what am i missing here wait

am i being punked

no that's just from this movie that josh

and i saw last weekend yeah later pops

you know since we got married you and

josh really seem to have hit it off yeah

you know maybe you should work a little

harder to bond with drake what

hey you wanna talk

nah you looking better

[Applause]

[Music]

okay

this is the worst party ever

yeah drake what's up with this lame

party man

whoa whoa

this party is not lame one bag of chips

there's not even anything to drink man i

need a beverage

josh i told you to pass the can around

all right that's it

listen up people

the reason for this suckish party is

that drake needs your help calling a

radio station so that he can win tickets

to a concert all right

man you see drake if you're just honest

with people they'll understand they

won't get mad k*ll drake

wait wait wait

if you guys will just please help me

call the radio station i i promise that

later we can

we can uh we can what we can watch your

mowing bugs right your mo

if it'll make me more popular

hurry hurry everybody call 55k seal

hello i was calling number one oh i'm

two less talk more dial number six

my battery d*ed

number eight i'm calling number eight

and we have a winner who's car number

nine

tell us your name lucky caller

megan parker

nick

[Music]

here come the boys try bonding with

drake again right

hey drake you like football

where is she

kitchen

naked

hi drake give me that phone

no evil

you don't even like zero gravity i don't

like homework either

what

you want the tickets you do my homework

for a week

so evil

okay fine i'll do your homework now give

it

hello

turn that up

okay okay you're the ninth caller which

means you've won two tickets and

backstage passes to zero gravity awesome

this is like the greatest thing hold on

pal there's more there's more what more

if you can answer one question you'll

also win a vintage fender stratocaster

guitar autographed by zero gravity's

lead guitarist devin malone

what's the question

name the eighth planet from the sun

eighth planet from the

it from a son uh

i don't know wait uh they taught me a

song in first grade okay sing it no i'm

not much singing some mercury and venus

i saw the earth then marsh i saw jupiter

then saturn uranus and that's

neptune

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

you are so pretty

man you still staring at that thing

yep

a vintage stratocaster autographed by

devin malone

josh i think i'm in love

okay

but if you start making out with the

thing i'm leaving the room

i gotta hit the bathroom will you uh

stare at her for me while i'm gone

you want me to stare at your guitar

for you

while you pee

i can pee in here i'll stare

so how's it going

i'm josh

you like music

hi drake hey i really can't look i don't

know if you're into golf but there's a

driving range done

i'll wait here

hi

hello

why are you waiting outside the bathroom

i'm bonding with drake

so

i

just kept applying the ointment and

eventually the rash went away

why are you staring the back guitar

drake asked me to i don't see what the

big deal is it's just a guitar

nah this is some ultra cool crazy

special guitar

doesn't sound so special to me

that's because it's not plugged in

see it's an electric guitar you gotta

plug it into an amplifier to hear the

sound

you put this in here

and then you turn it on

[Applause]

wow

that is a special guitar

[Music]

look at this look what i've done

yeah that's bad

bad when drake ceases he's gonna m*rder

me

where do i hide

guitar case good idea

okay

there it is in the guitar case which

drake will open unless i lock it

gotta get rid of the key gotta get rid

of the

okay

now when drake comes in here you stay

here and back me up all right i got you

back all right

where's the guitar see ya

josh i uh i i i i put it away

why

you want to leave it out and let it get

all dusty and gross have you heard of

mildew

so where'd you put the guitar

in the case

in the guitar case why are you hassling

me

who's hassling you

it's locked

yes

some people care about safety

just calm down and give me the key what

for

for to open the lock why are you acting

all freakish uh

uh dude i i lost the key bro

you lost the

a locksmith

yes

i i have a lot of locks it you know need

smiffin

and you're sure you don't know where the

original key is uh or that uh that key

on the yeah

keep it down would you there's people

sleeping in here

[Applause]

[Music]

why'd you bring me here cause you got me

into this mess i did

cool

hi do you sell guitars

here

at guitar world

gee i don't know

okay sarcastic

once when just like the lead singer of

zero gravity plays

you want a cherry red 64 strat with a

whammy bar

are we still speaking of guitars

there she is oh that's it how much 12

hundred dollars 100 dollars

yeah

but it's like my entire life savings i

was saving that money to buy a tanning

bed

so

you want it don't pressure me

yeah

yeah here here's my debit card pick

yourself out of case

oh well

lisa i got the guitar right

now i gotta go get it signed by devin

malone to the megadome

[Music]

where are you going

zero gravity concert uh oh wait a second

um

you want to build a tree house together

what

you me a house in a tree

okay dr seuss first it was football and

then golf and now a tree house i mean

what is up

well

sun interaction

follow my lead

and see i told my friends i'd go bowling

with them but this new girl i've been

dating wants me to hang out with her

huh

what do you think i should do

um well uh maybe you should ask your new

girlfriend to go bowling

with

you and your

friends oh that's perfect

thanks dad

is she gone yeah see ya

[Applause]

hi can i help you uh i i just need to

see devin malone really quick can't let

you in without a pass kid look why can't

i just

oh there's definite malone right there

by the uh

cupcakes they got cupcakes

help me please don't let them whack me

that's cool

so what you need kid

my stepbrother drake who loves you he

won your guitar but i plugged it into a

stupid app and

so i spent my entire life savings on a

new one but it's on autograph so i need

this for you to autograph this one so

drake does it hate me and make me sleep

in the bathtub again what do you say got

a pen yeah i got a pen

josh

drake um

no megan told me everything

megan

look drake please don't hate me i just

wanted to do this you for spending your

entire life savings to get me a 64

fender strat josh that is like the

coolest thing anyone's ever done for me

holy snot that's devin malone yeah it is

come on

come on

come on devin this is my stepbrother

drake drake this oh believe me i know

who you are i've learned everything i

know about guitar from watching you yeah

you play uh yeah but i'm nowhere as

great as you are he's amazing with the

guitar he cannot really bring the funk

just uh take good care of this one she's

special i hear you dude don't even worry

about it i'm guarding this thing with my

life baby

[Applause]

how many fingers am i holding up i don't

care

would you mind taking me into the back

alley and b*ating me until i lose

consciousness

[Applause]

well it looks like we're canceling

tonight come on man the fans are already

out there all right well then you tell

me where i'm gonna find a replacement

guitarist in five minutes that's good

and knows every song in a set

right here

josh then you don't want me to you play

kid you're good

i'm okay but i don't know he's insanely

good and he knows every song zero

gravity has ever played let me hit a

bridge to midnight crush

[Applause]

how about leading the devil's paradise

lawless

oh dear what's the biggest crowd you

played uh at my high school last year my

band played for maybe 200 kids

seniors there's 14 000 out there can you

handle it without wetting my pants

i will take that risk get my best shirt

zero grabbing on in 60 seconds guys

you okay oh i don't know

play good kid just not better than me oh

never mind come on come on let's go

let's go put it on stage let's go thanks

bro

you're on

thanks brother go get him brother

you lied to me about the cupcakes didn't

you

[Applause]

hey would you get that i'm on the phone

you're not on the phone

just get it

hey you that guy that manages zero

gravity yeah

you know the kid who breaks hands

drake right yeah hey what's up how's

devin's hand well he uh should be able

to play tomorrow in vegas

anyway i stopped by because i owe you

some money for playing last night

i get paid how much five thousand

uh i deducted emergency room costs for

devon's hand

still leaves you 1250 bucks

all right thanks for helping us out

drake you good bam was on fire last

night hey maybe i should crush devin 10

more often

yeah don't do that

cheers

okay this could not have gone more

perfect

i win a vintage guitar

150 bucks there

nah

you do

no

no you are dude i got to live out the

dream

the least i can do is give you back the

money you put out for the guitar

thanks jake

but this is 50 bucks more than i spent

hey get yourself a decent haircut

wow

1250

dollars i'm getting me a tanning bed

and i am gonna kick back and relax like

all good rock stars should

what's this

my math homework

this week's fractions

have fun

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Music]

then yeah