04x04 - Mindy Loves Josh

[bunniefuu]

Ok.

Women...

Sometimes can be tricky.

Girls are so easy

Girls are so easy to figure out.

To figure out.

Like, when I was in the

Fourth grade, this girl named

Becky hummus said she had a

Crush on me.

Like last year, this girl,

Alison fletcher, asked me

Out.

But becky didn't really like

Me.

But alison wasn't really

Into me.

She just knew that every day

In my sack lunch I brought

Doodle cakes.

She was just trying to make

Her ex-boyfriend jealous.

I was being used.

I was being used. I was being used.

I was being used.

That semester, she ate almost

Every doodle cake I brought to

School.

Then she got back together

With her ex-boyfriend.

By the end of fourth grade,

By the end of fourth grade, she weighed over pounds.

She weighed over pounds.

I kind of missed alison, so I

Started making out with her

Sister.

And now, becky hummus wears

Gigantic pants.

I think her sister kisses

Even better.

You know, they make fat free

Doodle cakes now.

I wonder if they have a third

Sister?

Sister? But it's too late for becky.

But it's too late for becky.

Ok, so I think we should set

The transformer to volts.

Yeah, I don't think we're

Gonna need that much power if

We're using mirrors to hyper

Focus the pulse beam.

You know what I'm hyper

Focusing on right now?

Tell me.

Your lips.

Josh, you make me tingle like

A jigawatt capacitor.

Hey, josh.

Whack job.

Underachiever.

What is all this stuff?

They are items for our

Science fair project.

Paws off!

Wait.

You two are working together on

A science fair project?

What happened to the big rivalry

Between you two?

Well, now that we're a

Couple, we decided to combine

Our brain power and work as a

Team.

Yeah.

We're building a hyperbolic

Photon cannon.

Wow!

I'm hungry.

And now that he's gone.

Hey!

Hey! Both: ow!

Both: ow!

What do you want?

There are a couple of guys

Outside stealing your bike.

Oh!

And I just lubed the chain.

And I just lubed the chain. Hands off my ride!

Hands off my ride!

Maybe I should call the

Police.

Nah.

Nobody's stealing his bike.

What'd you tell him that for?

You got him all upset for

Nothing.

Nothing. Yeah.

Yeah.

♪ I never thought

That it'd be so simple, but

I found a way,

I found a way,

If you open up your mind,

It's gonna take some time

To realign

But if you look inside

I'm sure you'll find,

Over your shoulder,

You know that I told you

I'll always be picking you up

When you're down,

So just turn around,

So just turn around, ooh-ooh-ooh, oooooooh ♪

Ooh-ooh-ooh, oooooooh ♪

Cool laptop.

Thanks.

Ew, what website is this?

That's skin illnesses.com.

I was just looking up some stuff

For my biology homework.

Why is this guy's face all

Purplish?

He's got the bangkok river

Rash.

Sweet!

Sweet! What's sweet?

What's sweet?

What are you eating?

A big cookie.

A big cookie. That was my big cookie.

That was my big cookie.

That was my big cookie. Want it back?

Want it back?

Hey, uh, this skin disease

Website.

Yeah.

Email me the link, would you?

Are you gonna do something

Bad to drake?

Probably.

Probably. Excellent.

Excellent.

There was no one stealing my

Bike.

I know.

Later.

Hey, uh, what are you doing

With the plasma coil?

Recalibrating the pulse rate

To megahertz.

I thought we agreed on

Megahertz to keep the photon

Ball small.

Will you trust me on this.

I have won the science fair the

I have won the science fair the past years in a row.

Past years in a row.

I knew it.

What?

You don't respect my

Scientific intellect.

Of course I do.

Look, obviously we both have

Totally different ideas when it

Comes to hyperbolic photon

Cannon rays, so...

Why don't we each just make our

Own photon cannon for the

Science fair?

Well...

And that way, we can spend

Less time arguing and more time

Kissing.

Ooh...

Ok.

We'll each make our own

Photon cannon.

That's my boy.

Ooh, I better get home.

Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's almost :.

It's almost :.

Now are you sure you're ok

With this?

Are you sure you're ok with

Are you sure you're ok with this?

This?

This? Very ok with that.

Very ok with that.

Very ok with that. I love you.

I love you.

I love you. See you in chemistry.

See you in chemistry.

See you in chemistry. [Screams]

[Screams]

For .

Drake!

Hang on. I'm busy.

Mindy just told me

She loves me.

She loves me. What?

What?

Mindy told you she loves you?

Yes!

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,

No, no, no, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no.

Ok, now you tell me.

Tell me exactly how you

Responded when mindy said,

I love you.

[Stuttering] I didn't know

What to say, so, I just said,

See you in chemistry, and then I

Slammed the door in her face.

Josh, when a girl says, I

Love you, that is the time to

Love you, that is the time to cut and run.

Cut and run.

You mean break up with her?

Yes.

Now, there are a few ways you

Can do this.

Drake, I don't want to break

Up with her.

You could fake your own

Death.

Now that's the cleanest way, but

It might freak mom and dad out.

You'd have to move to another

State.

Drake, will you listen to me.

You could always become a

Woman, but it involves all that

Surgery, and then you'd have

To--

Drake!

Drake! What if I love her back?

What if I love her back?

Why'd you slap me?

'Cause you're talking crazy.

'Cause you're talking crazy. I might love her.

I might love her.

Whoa, your cheeks make

Different sounds when they're

Slapped.

What?

Check it out.

Check it out. They're like a semi-tone apart.

They're like a semi-tone apart.

Are you done assaulting my

Face?

Do you seriously think you

Might be in love with mindy?

I don't know.

Maybe.

Maybe. I gotta think this through.

I gotta think this through.

Oh, and you know what else?

Oh, and you know what else? What?

What?

"Skin diseases." Let's see.

"Derma temeculitis.

A rare skin affliction which

Causes the hands and feet to

Turn a sickly greenish color."

Nice.

Cure, cure, cure.

Ah.

"The only known cure requires an

Unusually painful series of

Injections by needle into the

Afflicted areas."

Awesome.

"There are some rumored home

Remedies, but they're highly

Unpleasant and may or may not be

Affected in curing

Affected in curing derma temeculitis."

Derma temeculitis."

Derma temeculitis." Interesting.

Interesting.

Interesting. [Tv plays]

[Tv plays]

Mindy, it's great that you

Love me, and, and...

And I have strong feelings for

You, too, but, no that sounds

You, too, but, no that sounds lame, uh...

Lame, uh...

Mindy...

I am in the process of becoming

A woman, so I worried--

Oh, my god, josh!

What's wrong, what happened?

Whoa!!!

Why are your hands green?

I don't know.

I woke up,

Went to the bathroom, and my

Hands were green.

Did you try washing them?

Yeah.

For minutes, man,

I even used soap.

Just calm down.

We'll look it up online.

I'm just gonna go around you.

Hurry.

Ok.

I'll go to, uh,

What'swrongwithmybody.com

What'swrongwithmybody.com?

I have it bookmarked.

And we'll go to skin illness,

Green, hands, gross.

What's it say?

Derma temeculitis.

What's that?

"A rare skin disease that

Causes the hands and feet to

Turn a sickly greenish color."

All right, well, I don't have

That because my feet

Are all green!

Whoa!!!

Just show me how to cure it.

Ok, ok, ok.

Ok, it says here, that the only

Known cure for derma temeculitis

Is a series of unusually painful

Injections by needle.

Oh, man.

I hate unusually painful

Injections.

We better get you to a

Doctor.

Oh, no way.

Dude, as soon as mom and dad

Find out--

They are not gonna find out,

Ok?

What else does it say?

Ok, uh...

Ok, it says here that some

Doctors claim success curing

Derma temeculitis by treating

The inflicted areas with zyfolic

Acid.

Where do I get zyfolic acid?

Zyfolic acid can be found in

The urine of most lizards.

Awesome.

So I just got to stick my hands

And feet in...

And feet in... Lizard urine?

Lizard urine?

Hey, pudding cup.

Hi, josh.

You're mad.

I'm not mad.

My nose is slightly bruised from

Where your door hit me in the

Face.

Face. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's just that...

When you said you loved me,

It kind of caught me off guard.

Yeah, that was just the

Impression I got when you

Responded by saying, "see you in

Chemistry," then running away

Chemistry," then running away like a frightened little girl.

Like a frightened little girl.

I know you wanted me to say I

Love you back, but I just don't

Think I should say it unless I'm

Sure I feel it, you know?

Ok.

Fair enough.

I mean, I don't want to push you

Into saying something you don't

Mean, so why don't you just

Think about it over the weekend.

I'm not in any rush.

Oh, really?

Really.

You're the best.

I know.

All right.

I gotta go do some work.

I gotta go do some work. You, zip up your pants.

You, zip up your pants.

Hey, man.

Got the lizards.

Oh, cool, cool.

So when do you get the urine?

Uh, that would be up to the

Lizards.

Hey, speaking of cold-blooded

Reptiles, how did it go with

Mindy?

Great.

I just told her the truth.

Good.

So you broke up with her.

No.

I told her I wasn't sure how I

Was feeling, and she gave me the

Weekend to think

Weekend to think about it.

About it.

Dude, no girl tells her

Boyfriend she loves him and is

That cool when he doesn't say it

Back.

She was.

Dude, I'm telling you, that's

Dude, I'm telling you, that's an impos-

An impos-

Wait a second.

Aren't you two supposed to be

Finishing up your science fair

Projects this weekend?

Yeah, so?

So, she's messing with your

Head, man.

She's trying to distract you so

She can b*at you again.

Drake, mindy's not like that,

Ok, and I'm sure she's just as

Distracted by this as I am.

I don't appreciate you--

Hi, guys.

Hey.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What's all this?

Just some components for my

Science fair project.

Got a lot of work to do this

Weekend.

Later.

Yeah.

She looks pretty distracted.

You're right.

This whole "I love you" thing is

Just a scheme to wig me out so I

Won't be able to focus on my

Project.

I told him so.

Well, I will not wig, ok?

Yeah, 'cause this is the year

That mindy crenshaw will finally

Back down to my superior

Scientific ability.

Dude, check your zipper.

Man, what is wrong with this

Thing?

Thing? Why does it keep slipping down?

Why does it keep slipping down?

Ethan, you made a watermelon

Lamp last year.

This one's seedless.

This one's seedless. Disqualified.

Disqualified.

Who's next?

Ah, finally someone decent.

Mindy crenshaw.

Thank you, mr. Farrow.

My project this year is a fully

Operational photon cannon.

Crowd: ooh...

Impressive.

Please, demonstrate.

Gladly.

Gladly. Observe the paper.

Observe the paper.

[Applause]

Oh, mindy.

You never disappoint.

No, I don't.

Excellent.

Excellent work.

Ok, last up, we have

Josh nichols.

Right over here.

What do you have for us?

Well, mr. Farrow,

I, too, have built a

Photon cannon.

But I think you might find mine

A bit more impressive than

Mindy's.

Please observe the -inch thick

Board...

Of wood.

Of wood. Bye bye, board.

Bye bye, board.

Bye bye, board. Hello, first prize.

Hello, first prize.

[Applause]

Thank you!

Thank you, I know.

Thank you.

My goodness.

In my years of teaching, that

May be the most impressive

Display of scientific

Hole burning I've ever seen.

I think the choice is clear.

Josh nichols, I hereby award you

Josh nichols, I hereby award you first prize.

First prize.

Thank you, mr. Farrow.

All right, in true science

Fair tradition, everyone's

Invited to the next room for

Invited to the next room for juice and pudding.

Juice and pudding.

Congratulations.

You finally b*at me.

Is someone upset their little

Plan didn't work, hmm?

Excuse me?

I know what you

Tried to pull.

Good, then tell me,

'Cause I don't.

The whole "I love you" thing.

You didn't mean it.

You were just trying to rattle

Me so you could b*at me in the

Science fair again.

Science fair again. Well, ha ha, and ha.

Well, ha ha, and ha.

Ok, look, I was never gonna

To tell you this.

Never gonna tell me what?

I let you win.

Yeah, right.

It's true.

Why would you let me win?

Because I felt bad that I'd

Beaten you for the past years,

And I know how important this

Science fair is to you, so I

Wanted you to win for once.

You make me laugh.

[Chuckles]

Well, you want to laugh

Well, you want to laugh harder?

Harder?

Harder? Laugh at this.

Laugh at this.

See.

I wasn't lying.

I wasn't lying. About anything.

About anything.

There we go.

All right.

"To effectively treat

Derma temeculitis with zyfolic

Acid, the afflicted areas must

Be submerged for at least

Minutes.

Minutes. Ok.

Ok.

Ok. Ew...

Ew...

Oh...

Ok, lizard pee,

Do your thing.

Do your thing. Ew...

Ew...

Wow, I should've turned the

Wow, I should've turned the tv on first.

Tv on first.

I'm really sorry about the

Hole in the wall.

Oh, it's all right.

Oh, it's all right. I almost got it fixed.

I almost got it fixed.

Why are you giving me this?

'Cause you earned it.

I'll get a blue ribbon and a

I'll get a blue ribbon and a trophy when I earn it.

Trophy when I earn it.

I'm sorry.

For?

Not believing that you really

Meant it when you said you

Loved me.

How could you think I'd make

That up?

I don't know, drake keeps

Saying--

That explains it.

That explains it. Yeah.

Yeah.

Mindy, i...

I care about you.

A lot, but...

But you don't love me.

No.

I didn't say that.

You're the first girl

I ever dated, so...

I'm not really sure what love

Feels like.

I mean, years ago, I loved

Meat loaf.

Now, I question whether meat

Should even be served in the

Form of a loaf.

So you're comparing me to

Ground beef.

Ground beef. No...

No...

I don't know what I'm saying.

I think I do.

Listen, after I said...

You know, what I said,

I felt kind of weird

About it, too.

You did?

A little.

I don't know, maybe...

Maybe we rushed us.

You know, I've never had a

Boyfriend before you either,

And until we both had a little

More experience dating,

We can't really know

If us is right.

Right?

So what are we saying here?

Maybe we need to take a

Little break.

Little break. You know, see other people.

You know, see other people.

Yeah.

But does that mean, like, we

Can't hang out, or like, talk

Anymore?

Come on.

Of course we can.

If you want to.

No, I want to.

No, I want to. I want to, too.

I want to, too.

So...

So...

Uh, you know, this photon

Cannon is pretty impressive.

Thanks.

I mean, how did you get the

Pulse beam to--

Pulse beam to-- wait, don't!

Wait, don't!

Wait, don't! I'm out.

I'm out.

Man, soaking your hands and

Feet in lizard urine is so

Feet in lizard urine is so boring.

Boring.

Oh, it's you.

Oh, it's you. Close the door.

Close the door.

What's going on?

Swear not to tell

Mom and dad?

Swear.

Well, I have this rare skin

Disease called

Derma temeculitis.

[Gasps] oh, my god,

[Gasps] oh, my god, are you ok?

Are you ok?

I will be.

See, I read online that you can

Cure it by soaking in zyfolic

Acid.

Which is in lizard pee.

Ah.

Or, you know, there is

Another cure.

What?

Next time, don't eat my big

Next time, don't eat my big cookie.

Cookie.

What are you saying?

That I tricked you into

Thinking you have a rare skin

Disease by dying your hands and

Feet green while you slept.

And that you were stupid enough

To actually fall for it, and

Then stick your hands and feet

In buckets of lizard pee.

That's what I'm saying.

Megan!

You have a little something

On your upper lip.

My lip, what?

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! [Spits]

[Spits]

Wait!

What?

What? Is it gone?

Is it gone?

Hey, josh.

What's that doing here?

What's what doing here?

That.

The thing in the skirt.

I'm sorry, what, what'd you

Say, lizard pee?

Ha ha ha.

Funny.

Anyway, I thought you two

Broke up.

We did.

Doesn't mean we can't hang

Out and do homework together.

So, you two aren't gonna be

Making out anymore, but you're

Still gonna hang out and study

Together.

Basically.

Yeah.

Yeah. And I'm the dumb one.

And I'm the dumb one.

Drake, these buckets I just

Found in your room.

What's in them?

The truth.

Lizard pee.

Counseling twice a week.

But, mom, dr. Stein

But, mom, dr. Stein makes me talk to puppets.

Makes me talk to puppets.

What you doing?

I paid you $ to stay away

From the science fair.

Yeah.

You got ripped off.