04x10 - Tree House

[bunniefuu]

Hi, hi, hey!

Uh, you gotta gimme a minute.

There's an emergency!

So I'm at my barber's

Birthday party, right?

This girl's tryin'

To talk to me,

But I got a mouthful

Of pickle chips.

So I'm thinkin', how would--

[Ringing]

Oh, hang on for a sec.

What?

Dude, you ate

The last fruit-popple!

So?

They were megan's!

You ate megan's

Last fruit-popple!

You ate one.

Yes, and I was very careful

To leave one for megan

Which you ate!

Oh. Can I go now?

Yeah, you can go

Buy another box of fruit-popples

So megan won't k*ll us!

What? Huh? (Making static)

Dude, (static) I'm losin' you.

I hear you fine!

Okay, you know what?

I'm gonna have to call you back.

I'm underwater, yeah.

Drake,

Buy some fruit-popples!

Drake, answer me!

Who ate my fruit-popples?

Aah!

Hey, do me a favor

And tell me if this hurts.

Ow! Yeah, it hurts.

Cool, thanks.

(Doorbell rings)

Package for josh nichols.

Thanks. Have a good day.

Don't tell me what to do.

Ooh, from grammy.

Let's see what we got here.

Whoa, a model rocket!

Yes!

Josh!

Drake!

(Both) guess what?!

Oh, I wanna go first.

All right, fine.

You first. Talk.

Grammy sent us

A model rocket.

What, does she think

We're ten years old?

Huh?

Come on, no one our age

Plays with model rockets.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I know, right?

Crazy grammy.

I mean, this sure is nothin'

I'd wanna build

And play with all day.

Dude, listen.

Hey, you ready for this?!

I got a date with twins.

Twins?!

Hot identical twins,

And they're gonna meet me

At the premiere tomorrow night,

And you're invited.

I get to go on a double date

With you and two hot twins?!

No, but I thought maybe

You could bring us some drinks

And snacks and stuff.

Hey, great. No thanks.

Dude, I'm kidding!

Yes, I want you

To double date with me.

Are you in?

Yeah, I'm in!

Awesome.

Yeah, twins.

Oh, two.

Similar.

"The sky buster ,.

"Model rocket soars

Up to feet feet in the air."

Whee.

Heh, yeah, so dumb.

"Launches upwards at almost

Miles per hour."

(Mocking) ooh, fast.

Wanna build it?

So much!

C'mon!

Yay!

* And I never thought

* That it'd be so simple

* But I found a way

* I found a way

* If you open up your mind

* It's gonna take some time

* To realize

* But if you look inside

* I'm sure you'll find

* Over your shoulder

* You know that I told you

* I'll always be

* Pickin' you up

* When you're down

* So just turn around

* Ooh

And there.

All right, the counter balance

Is set to zero.

Okay, next it says,

"Insert fuel pod into

Tail beneath rocket's--

Fu--fu--

Sound it out.

Fuselogy?

Fuselage!

Like I work for nasa!

Well, just gimme me

The fuel pod thingy.

No, I wanna do it, all right?

You got to put on the nose con.

Cone!

Oh, whatever!

Dude, are you sure--

Let me do it, all right?

If I can help, then--

Okay.

You guys are in the th grade,

And you're playing

With a model rocket?

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

We were just building it

So we can

Drop it off at--

The children's hospital.

The children's hospital.

What children's hospital?

Saint--

Illness.

Saint illness?

Okay! We're playing with

A model rocket.

Yeah, um,

Could you could help us

Install the fuel pod, please?

Gimme it.

Move.

Can you get it?

No.

It won't go in 'cause you put

The restricter plate on first.

You said we were supposed

To put the restricter plate

On first.

We were.

No, you put

The restricter plate on

After the fuel pod goes in.

That's a lie!

Well, maybe we can

Drop the fuel pod in

From the top

If I take off the nose con.

Cone!

Whatever!

Just gimme the fuel pod!

Here, I'll do it.

It just got jammed

At the fuel pod right there.

There, okay? It's almost in.

We just need

To tap it with a hammer.

All right,

Let's grab a hammer.

Where's the hammer?

Out the window.

Ca--can you see it?!

No!

Oh, yeah--yeah, yeah, yeah.

It landed

In the carmichael's tree house!

Okay, perfect.

Let's just go next door

And get it back.

(expl*si*n)

Tree house on fire?

Yeah.

Uh-huh. Oh!

Well, the fire's out.

Greg, I'm so sorry

Our kids b*rned down

Your son's tree house.

Yeah, we feel awful.

Yeah, if only josh

Wouldn't have put that

Restricter plate on first, huh?

Uh, it's all right.

I'm just worried about

How robbie will react, you know?

See, he can be a bit--

Daddy?

Oh, no. I didn't want him

To see this before I could--

Daddy?

What happened to my tree house?

Well, son, (chuckles)

Drake and josh sh*t it

With a rocket

And b*rned it down.

You--you see, robbie, but--

(Screaming)

Well, that was pleasant.

Why, why would you

Do this to me?!

We didn't mean to.

That tree house

Was the only place

I could cry in private!

Ooh, it's okay, robbie.

I promise you,

Drake and josh

Are gonna build you

A brand new tree house.

What?

Say what now?

You heard her.

Well, we are driving up

To our cottage in fresno

For the weekend.

Could you boys

Re-build it tomorrow?

Tomorrow?

No, no, no, that won't work--

Of course, they can.

But we have dates tomorrow.

With hot twins.

Tough squash.

Squash?

I dunno.

He says things, and i--

I don't know.

You can go on your dates

After the three of you finish

Rebuilding robbie's tree house.

Whoa, whoa,

By "the three of us,"

I hope you mean drake, josh,

And josh's imaginary friend.

Hey!

Mom--

Drake and josh said

You were helping them

With the rocket

When it flew through the window.

She was.

So you have to help

Rebuild the tree house tomorrow.

But I'll miss

Janie's birthday party!

Tell 'em it wasn't my fault.

Ooh, sorry.

Too bad, little girl.

Now, boys, megan,

Why don't you tell

Robbie you're sorry.

(All) we're sorry.

It's okay.

'Atta boy.

Hey, hey, hey,

I bet you can cheer yourself up

By playin' with your cool

Red truck here.

Here you go, dude.

I'll try.

(Beeping)

(Screaming)

(Slurping)

You know,

You two could help me.

I've been helping

Since : a.m.

Now I'm relaxing.

Hey, pour me some more

Lemonade, would ya?

(Sighs)

What was that for?!

For making me

Miss janie's birthday party!

Yeah, well,

Looks like josh and I

Got you this time, doesn't it?

Don't touch the power saw.

Megan, just go get me

Some more screws

From the garage.

You guys make me sick.

Maybe I better

Go check in to "saint illness."

All right,

All right, drake,

Come on up here.

I think we're ready

To put up the fourth wall.

Oh, I hate exerting energy.

Hey, what time is it?

Uh, :.

All right, well, let's hurry

And get this thing finished.

All right?

I am not gonna miss a date

With two hot twins.

We're not, all right?

We're almost done.

Here, grab my arm.

Ah, I gotcha.

All right, how do we put

The fourth wall up?

Well, easy.

Easy, I got it all rigged.

See, we just pull on this rope

And then it swings

Up into place,

And then we screw it in.

Okay.

All right, you ready?

Let's do it.

And pull!

Pull, dude, pull, pull, pull!

All right,

Come on, come on, come on!

We got it!

We got it!

Unh. Okay, okay,

Now you hold the rope

And I'll screw the wall

Into place.

Okay.

All right, now,

Let me get the other side.

Yeah.

There.

Solid.

Well,

Five inch titanium screws.

Excellent.

So are we done?

Yeah, yeah.

I just gotta go down and get

The door handle so we can--

Drake?

What?

Where's the door hole?

It goes right there.

See, I drew it

With a magic marker.

You were supposed

To cut it out with

The power saw.

Dude, I'm gonna.

Oh, really?

Yes.

So go get the power saw.

Okay, I will.

I see the problem.

Oh, do ya?!

Look,

How do we get outta here?!

Well--

Megan!

Megan!

Megan! Megan!

Oh, megan, megan, megan!

Calm down--

I'm bringing your screws.

No--i need you

To bring me up the saw.

Why?

'Cause drake forgot

To cut the door out.

So we're trapped in here.

Oh my god,

This is the greatest thing

That's ever happened.

Megan, just hand us

Up the saw right now!

(Laughing) no,

I don't think I will.

C'mon! We gotta meet

Our dates in two hours!

They're hot twins!

Too bad.

I missed janie's birthday party.

Now you two

Can miss your dates.

No twins for you.

Megan,

You bring that saw up right now!

Nah.

I'm gonna go get a snow cone.

Megan!

Megan!

Megan!

Megan!

Megan!

Megan! Hey!

Megan!

At least bring me a snow con!

Cone!

Oh, whatever.

Megan!

Megan!

Megan!

Okay, no, ow, hey,

Would you watch the hand?

Okay, no, push.

(Both grunting)

Oh, man,

Don't touch me there.

Push!

All right, now, go!

You know what?

Forget this. (Grunts)

Forget it.

I can't fit through there.

Oh, megan!

Megan!

Megan!

Megan!

Hey, boob.

Where've you been?!

I told you

I was going to get a snow cone.

Okay, well,

Now that you have one,

Can you please hand up

The power saw

So we can get outta here?

Let me think.

No.

Listen to me --

If you make us

Miss our dates with

Those two hot identical twins

I swear I'll--

Hey, hey, hey!

What?!

We don't need that power saw!

How are we gonna

Get outta here?

Well--

Power screwdriver.

We just need to unscrew

One of these walls,

And boom, we are out.

Do it, brothah.

Okay.

I just set this baby

To reverse, and--

(Clicking)

Why'd it stop?

I don't know.

The screwdriver--

Megan!

Yes, can I help you?

You are not gonna

Find a way outta here.

Yes, I am.

The walls are made

Of solid wood, okay,

And they're screwed on

With titanium screws.

Man, do you realize

What's happening right now?!

There are two

Very hot twin girls

Who just finished

Putting on eye glitter,

And they're on their way

To the premiere to meet us.

I wanted to kiss a twin.

We all wanna kiss twins.

Man, you hungry?

Yeah, I'm starved.

I haven't eaten since noon.

Me, either.

I wish we had

Somethin' to eat.

Yeah.

(Chattering)

You will not

Eat that squirrel.

I don't wanna eat him.

What are you gonna do then?

I'm gonna write a note

And tie it to his tail,

You know?

Maybe somebody'll find it

And come get us outta here.

Yes, 'cause

When I see a squirrel,

The first thing I do

Is check his tail for messages.

Look, it can't hurt,

All right?

Okay, but let me attach

The note to him, all right?

I don't trust you

With wildlife

After what you did

To that dolphin.

I just wanted a ride.

Just give me the note.

Fine, here.

What are you gonna

Tie it on with?

I have

My emergency dental floss.

Of course you do.

Now--

I'll just carefully attach

The note to his tail.

Perfect. All right.

Hey, there, little fella.

This isn't gonna hurt a bit.

I'm just gonna wrap this around

Your little taily waily.

Aah! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Bad squirrel!

Bad squirrel!

Get him off!

Get him off!

Get him off, dude,

Get him off!

Bad squirrel! Oh!

(Grunting)

Oh! Oh! Oh!

(Whimpers)

Okay, I know you're hurtin',

But that was really funny.

Unh!

What do you think

Our twin dates are doin'?

Sitting at the premiere,

Wondering where we are.

That megan.

This time she's gone too far,

And I tell you what,

We are gonna get her back.

No, we're not.

I know.

Man, can you hear

My stomach rumbling?

Yeah, mine is, too.

And I've never been

This hungry.

I wish I had

An inside out burger

Right now.

Would you stop talking

About burgers, all right?

I can't take it.

I can almost smell 'em.

I know.

(Sniffing)

Wait a sec.

I-i do smell burgers.

Yeah, me, too.

Megan!

Oh, hey.

What's up?

I can't believe you!

She's grilling burgers!

What?!

Oh, so now you're gonna

t*rture us

With the smell of food

While we're starvin'

Up here?

Pretty much, yeah.

Okay, this is a new low,

Even for you.

Really?

'Cause I think

It's a new high for me.

Ooh, this one's

Ready for cheese.

Hey! Hey,

You forgot one thing, megan.

No.

I got buns right here.

I meant

We're gonna tell mom and dad

And then you're gonna be

In huge trouble.

Well, you're gonna

Have to wait 'cause mom and dad

Went out to have dinner

And see a movie

With the schneiders.

Stupid schneiders.

Yep. If you want food,

Looks like

You're gonna have to beg.

No, okay,

We will not beg for food.

Just give me a hamburger!

Okay.

Aah.

What happened?

She hit me in the face

With a meat patty.

Oh, it's raw.

Mm. This is gross.

Yeah, nasty.

(Doorbell rings)

Coming.

Who is it?

It's craig and eric.

What?

Hey, we heard

Josh got the skybuster ,

Model rocket.

We gotta see it.

And we wanna show him ours.

What is wrong with you two?

(Telephone rings)

I'll be right back.

Aw, can we come in?

No.

Hello?

Hey, are drake

And josh there?

Nope, sorry.

Well, they were supposed

To meet my sister and I here

Minutes ago.

Well, I'm sure

If they cared about you at all,

They'd be there.

(Both) huh?

Um, actually,

Drake and josh moved

To canada.

(Both) canada?

But they felt bad

About missing your date.

So they're sending

Another couple of guys

Over to meet you.

(Both) okay.

All right.

Do you two wanna spend

Your saturday nights

Playing with model rockets,

Or would you rather

Be on a date

With two hot girls?

Hot girls?

Twins.

Twins?!

(Both laugh)

Yeah.

Have fun.

Wait, wait!

What?

Where do we go?

The premiere!

Whoa!

Wait!

Time?

Almost :.

Oh, man, I'm so bored!

Hey, hey, we can play a game

I learned at improv comedy camp.

Oh, god.

C'mon. All right,

I say a word

That starts with "a,"

And then you say a word

That starts with "b,"

And it just keeps itself goin'.

It's fun.

(Sighs) okay, start.

Okay, um--

Acorn--

Bathtub--

Cable--

Doodle--

Elbow--

Freezer--

Goose--

Okay,

This is the worse game ever.

It is, isn't it?!?!

Man,

I wonder what the twins

Are doin' right now.

(All laughing)

So then our friend edgar

Comes in and says,

"Hey, I thought this

"Was a cafeteria,

Not a rocketeria."

True story.

I'm a witness.

Wow, you guys are so fun!

Totally.

You mind getting us

A couple more sodas?

Oh, sure, glad to.

We'll be right back.

Let's get outta here.

Run.

All right.

All right, that's it!

We're gonna get

Outta here right now.

How?

Okay.

You and me, together,

We're gonna throw ourselves

Against that wall, all right?

With our combined weight,

Running full speed,

I think it'll be enough

To break it.

Let's go for it.

All right.

Get back as far back as you can.

Okay, call it.

One, two, hit it!

(Both grunting)

Yeah, that's my shoulder.

All right, all right,

All right, let's try it again.

All right, come on.

Come on, let's do it.

All right.

One, two, hit it!

(Both grunting)

One more time!

Absolutely!

Oh! Okay,

One, two, hit it!

(Both grunting)

(Both) aah!

Awful--

Bad--

Catastrophe--

Disturbing--

Emergency--

Fiasco--

Grief-stricken--

Hopeless--

Inconvenienced--

Jacked--

(Bell dings)

Mmm.