01x03 - Can't a Girl Catch a Break

[bunniefuu]

[car engine roaring]

[Beauty] Uh, do you wanna slow down a bit?

[Tumi] It's the f*cking fast lane,
assh*le!

-[Beauty] Tumi!
-[Tumi] What?

We looked f*cking lost out there.

We don't have to become
a December statistic over it.

What are you thinking?

[Tumi] About comitting m*rder.

You know when you run through exactly
what you're going to say to someone

in your head?
Word-for-word and it sounds so good.

So final.

But when it finally comes out,
you mess it up?

Sure.

This is not going to be that
when I finally see her.

-f*cking hypocrite.
-She's still our mother!

[huffs] Is she?

Really? Just now, you find out
I'm an orphan come New Year.

Okay, calm down.

Just bottle up the emotions, for me.

Just until after the wedding.

Am I missing something?

That man shat on the both of us.

Maybe.
But this wedding is all I have left.

All you have?
You're not tired of pretending?

We've been pretending all our lives,
what's three more days?

No.

[somber music playing]

[Dineo] [in Tswana] What did that old man
have to say for himself?

-Tumi, relax.
-You know we know, Dineo.

[in Tswana] For Christ’s sake,
say something!

Tumi.

[in Tswana] Boitumelo,
that’s your mother you’re talking to.

[Tumi] [in Tswana] Trust me, Aunty,
this is me still being respectful.

[in Tswana] Uh, Aunt Grace,
how’s the food coming along?

-How many courses do we have again?
-[Dineo] Five.

Five. Yeah!

And then?

[in Tswana] What? No Bible verses
and amens to justify your bullshit!

[in Tswana] I should’ve left you
with your grandmother.

Oh! That'd be good.

[in Tswana] Maybe, I'd be normal.

-Tumi!
-Oh! And you just care

is about this damn pregnancy of yours!

Pregnancy?

[dramatic music playing]

[stammering] No.

[Beauty] Baby.

[Grace] [in Tswana] Mr. Twala. Mr. Twala.

[Dineo] [in Tswana] Mr. Twala!

[Tumi] Note to self,

Google how to keep your mouth shut.

[Dineo] [in Tswana] Oh, my goodness!
You are leaving?

[Dineo] [in Tswana] Please, let’s talk!

♪ Chilling with my boys ♪

♪ Chilling and hanging out with my boys ♪

[Beauty] Sbu!

Sbu, wait.

Sbu.

[Sbu] What the hell?
[in Zulu] Beauty, why didn’t you tell me?

No! Okay, I got scared. I panicked.

Panicked?

Sbu, you'd just proposed when I found out.

I didn't want your family thinking
I was trapping you.

Oh, my family?

So you hid this from me

because you're afraid of how it's going
to look to my family? What about me?

-[in Zulu] You don't care about me?
-[in Zulu] I care about you.

You're all that matters.

Now that I'm walking away, right?

We can work through this, baby.

Putting a ring on your finger is supposed
to set us aside from the usual sh*t

that every couple lets in.

The hiding, the fears, the half-truths,
all that should be gone by now.

This should be where you're as close
to trust as anyone can possibly get.

Sbu, what are you saying?

[sad music playing]

You've broken something in us.

[silently crying]

[sad music continues]

I'm sorry, B.

Look, I tried to hold out, but…

as soon as I saw her with
that righteous churchy look of hers, I…

I just felt the blood rush to my head.

I'm sorry.

Don't you get tired

of feeling bad about what you've done?

Can't you stop yourself,
like, just before you're sorry?

[laughs]

It must be so exhausting being you.

Hey…

It's not the same.

It's not every day that you find out
your dad's not your dad, you know.

It could be anything with you.

It could be family sh*t.

It could be bad sushi.
You'll find a reason to break something.

That is not true.

I wanted all this for you. I was happy.

You don't know what that is.

Being my sister,
and this whole Maid of Honor thing,

is all you had going for you.

I knew you'd be bad at everything,

like really bad at everything,

but you can't be bad at being blood.

No deadbeat dad
to walk me down the aisle, sure,

but, hey, at least I have a sister.

[in Tswana] Do you know what,
I will talk to Sbu.

No.

You're toxic, Tumi.

I don't want you
near anything that I love.

You know what, it's fine,
just go back to Cape Town,

do whatever the hell it is
that you do down there.

You don't have to pretend anymore, okay?

I care, Beauty.

Yeah…

I don't.

Tumi, I just lost my husband,

and you just lost a sister.

[sad music playing]

B.

[sad music continues]

[Thando] Beauty. Friend.

Friend, wait. Friend.

[knock on door] Beauty, friend, come on.

Go away.

[Shadrack] [in Tswana]
You tried to tell me.

[in Tswana] Hello, Ma.

[in Tswana] You tried to tell me
that things wouldn't go well,

[in Tswana] but I didn't listen
because-- Hello.

[sad music continues]

[in Tswana] Get in the front.

[in Twana] Come on, get in the car,
Succulent. Come along!

[in Tswana] Come along, man!

[sad music continues]

♪ What do I do ♪

♪ With all these feelings ♪

♪ Warming me up inside ♪

♪ What do I do ♪

♪ With all these precious hours
Dreaming of you ♪

♪ But now would you recognize ♪

♪ It's a need
I've been fighting for so long ♪

♪ Would you recognize ♪

♪ It's a hunger only you can fill ♪

♪ Cause I'd like ♪

♪ To call you sometime ♪

♪ Oh, I would like to call you ♪

♪ I'd like you to know… ♪

-[whispers] Say anything.
-Okay, okay.

[in Tswana] Listen, friend,
it could be worse, you know.

-[whispers] Seriously?
-It's true.

[Beauty] How so? Technically,
I've been divorced two times more

than I've been married
in the last hours.

[Dineo] [in Tswana] What's going on here?

Hi, Ma.

[in Tswana] She’s locked herself in,
and she doesn't want to open the door.

[in Tswana] Please, give us the room.

[knocking on door]

[in Tswana] My child?

Uh-huh, Mom, I'm not coming with you.

[in Tswana] You can't stay here.

[Beauty] Sbu's parents paid for this,
okay, and there's no refund.

So I'm going to sit here
and order everything on the menu.

[in Tswana] My child,
but we have so much food at home.

No, Mama, I'm talking about real food,
like room service.

[in Tswana] Not my uncle's livestock.

[in Tswana] You know
that you need your family right now.

Which family is that, Ma?

Hmm?

My sister, who blows up weddings,

or my mother,
who cuts and pastes our past?

Hmm?

Beauty.

[in Tswana] Why didn't you tell me
that you're pregnant?

Because I'm not like Tumi, Ma.

[sniffs]

It matters to me what you think.

Okay? So I wanted to have the last name
before I had the kid.

[in Tswana] You know, my child,

I wanted the best for you.

Yeah.

Well, you did a good job, Ma.

Because now I'm single,

and I'm pregnant.

[sighs]

[in Tswana] You'll find me at home.

Your home.

[sad music playing]

[soft groan]

[pained breathing]

What happened today?

What didn't?

Hmm.

Sbu's going to be a father.
A single father, but a father.

Maybe Tumi should also
do a pregnancy test,

to check if there's no
surprise baby Twala on the way.

[in Zulu] We used a condom.

So you do remember?

[sighs]

It's a disease, you know.

Then why am I the only one
getting sick, Themba?

[groans]

The painkillers are in the toiletry bag.

[Moipone] Grace!

Shadrack!

[Grace sighs]

[elevator beeps]

[Thando] [in Tswana] May we get
two more sh*ts, please.

[Refiloe] [in Tswana] Let me finish
this one first.

[Thando] Thank you. Thank you, so much.

[in Tswana] It's just you and I!

-[man] Last Round.
-[Thando] Last Round!

-It's just you and I!
-Don't worry, girls, I'll cover it.

Oh! Yes, bitch!

It's free drinks!

Relax.

[in Tswana] How about
you round up your cents,

[in Tswana] and pay for the dresses
we weren't able to wear.

Actually!

[in Tswana] Please leave us alone.

[together] Cheers.

[glass taps on table]

[Refiloe] Hmm.

[Tumi] Hey!

Hey!

[Siya] [in Zulu] Do we know each other?

No, but it's a good thing.

You're probably the only person
that won't spit in my drink.

Tumi.

[in Zulu] The one who slept
with my nephew.

[in Zulu] Then you ruined a marriage
and exposed your own sister.

[mocking laugh]

[in Zulu] I left behind
some pretty rough people in jail,

[in Zulu] people who commit
cash heists every December, but you…

[in Zulu] I'm scared of you, girl.

-[in Zulu] Do you drink?
-Yeah.

Definitely, but you know what, um…

[in Zulu] This place is actually boring.

[in Zulu] I know a vibey spot
where we could get some drinks.

-[in Zulu] That's cool.
-Sure.

[in Zulu] Do you have a car?

[in Zulu] There are Maserati's everywhere,
so we're good.

Okay.

Wow!

[in Xhosa] She's a bit of a whore,
isn't she?

[giggles]

[in Tswana] I should've told them
from the beginning.

[huffs]

[in Tswana] Stewing on the past,

[in Tswana] it won't help anything.

[in Tswana] It's just madness.

[in Tswana] Hmm. But you know we Sellos,

[in Tswana] we keep on walking.

We keep on walking.

Johnny Walker.

[Moipone] [in Tswana] Where did they
even dig him up? I just don't understand.

[Shadrack] [in Tswana] But you do know
that today's kids have Facebook,

Twitter,

and Instagram.

[in Tswana] But Beauty doesn't poke,
I'm sure this was all Tumi.

[in Tswana] It was me.

I pointed Beauty in his direction.
I didn't expect her to go through with it.

[in Tswana] Quite honestly, I’m impressed.

[Dineo] Impressed?

[in Tswana] I was trying to help. I was
doing it for their sakes, both of them.

[in Tswana] Who asked you?

[in Tswana] Beauty asked me.

She asked me, and didn't ask you. Huh?

Why?

[in Tswana] It's not over yet, Dini,
they'll still need you,

[in Tswana] even if they don't know it.

[sheep bleats]

Shadrack,

[in Tswana] you brought it here?

[in Tswana] It will cry all night
and we won't be able to sleep.

[in Tswana] Would you rather
be annoyed by the sheep, or by Valencia?

[sheep bleats]

[sheep bleats]

[laughing]

[Dineo speaks in Tswana]

[upbeat music playing]

♪ I slept and woke up ♪

♪ I bathed in the kitchen
Because it's worse in the bath ♪

♪ Bathed with my Aunt's wash cloth ♪

♪ Cause it's worse in the bath… ♪

K Dawg.

K Dizzle, K Money. What it do, son?

What it do, son?

How did you find me here?

Your millennial ass can't even have
a cup of coffee without posting.

And your lying ass
can't go a day without drama.

[in Zulu] You know what,
let me go get a drink this side.

Sure.

-Can we talk?
-I don't have time.

[scoffs] [in Zulu] You're full
of yourself.

You do know that Instagram
and solo drinking are not fulltime jobs?

Okay, Tumi,

[in Xhosa] I don't have time for you.

Look, I…

I had a shitty day,
and I just really need my friend.

I did come all the way.

So I'm supposed to be grateful?

You know what? Screw you!

Been there. Done that.

f*ck you, very much.

-[in Zulu] Is that your ex?
-No, he just acts like one.

[bottles clang against each other]

[in Zulu] So this is your spot?

[in Zulu] Is this what you call a vibe?

[in Zulu] Please give us two drinks.

Er…

[Gogo Twala] [huffs]

[in Zulu] I remember attending
a wedding in ,

[in Zulu] The weather was so hot
that I didn't want to go.

[in Zulu] I thought the ceremony
would take all day.

[in Zulu] We were saved when the bride
fainted and d*ed right in church.

[in Zulu] Pass me the chicken feet.

[clears throat]

[in Zulu] You see Sbusiso, my child,

this is a blessing.

That girl, she's not our own.

[in Zulu] You should've married
a Zulu girl.

-Who do you think you are?
-Hmm?

Who do you think you are?

-[Themba] Sbusiso.
-Uh-huh, Themba.

You're busy looking down
on the woman I love

like she's stuck
on the bottom of your shoe.

No, my boy, all I'm saying is,
you marry out of your circle,

[in Zulu] you're asking for problems.

And you say this because
your marriage is so golden?

[in Zulu] We all know that

you and Dad haven’t slept
in the same bed in years.

[choking]

What is that?

How dare you

[in Zulu] speak to me like that?

[in Zulu] I'm not your friend,
I'm your mother!

-[Themba] Sbusiso!
-[Lydia] If you cared about Sbusiso,

you would've been with him
and not sinking in alcohol, Themba.

[in Zulu] I would've also d*ed,

[in Zulu] if I was wearing the dress
she was wearing.

[in Zulu] Even though it was the ' s.

You know what I'm an expert in?

Losing sh*t.

Not phones or keys like normal people, no.

[huffs]

This girl loses a friend,

a father, and a sister.

Who the f*ck loses a sister?

Huh? No!

[in Zulu] There's no feeling guilty here,
I don't do that.

[Tumi] You know what?

[Siya] Hmm?

-You're right.
-Hmm.

[in Zulu] Where are you going now?

[in Zulu] I'm going to taste
some specials.

[in Zulu] You never stop.

Um, you know what a sommelier is?

Someone who makes up wine lists and sh*t.

Close enough.

You know, you deserve a drink
for being so damn cute and smart.

-I'm good, thank you.
-Then you buy me one.

It's probably not a good idea.

f*ck the pleasantries.

You… can just take me… home.

Hmm.

Is that your man?

Sweetie, you know,

you shouldn't leave your valuables alone.

-Oh!
-Unattended.

[in Tswana] You slut!

[in Tswana] Huh?
What did you just call me?

You're the slut!

-[Siya] [in Zulu] You never listen.
-[Tumi] [in Zulu] I'm okay.

[Tumi] [in Zulu] Oh, I forgot my handbag.

Back.

[in Zulu] I'll be back.

[Siya] No, no, no!

-[screams]
-[man] Restrain your girlfriend!

[yelling]

[in Zulu] Do you know what?

[bartender] I'm calling the police!

[man] It's okay, it's okay.

[solemn music playing]

DECEMBER CHRISTMAS EVE

[Tumi] Merry f*cking Christmas, Tumi.

You've really outdone yourself this time.

[in Tswana] She's actually a good girl.

[in Tswana] When my colleagues put her
in the van, she swore at their mothers,

[in Tswana] and their grandmothers.

[in Tswana] Maybe, we can
take care of this right now?

Maybe.

[in Tswana] How about a sheep?

[light playful music playing]

[cell unlocks]

[cell door squeaks]

[Tumi] Great. Here we go.

Why are you here?

[in Tswana] I wouldn't leave my first-born
in a place like this on Christmas Eve.

That's not the hymn
you were singing yesterday.

I know it wasn't right,

and it wasn't Christian.

Mom, please, can we
just skip the sermon. Okay?

I'll be on a plane to Cape Town
as soon as we get out of here.

[in Tswana] You know, when I look at you,

I see so much of me in you.

[in Tswana] It scares me.

That is impossible.

How do you think I fell pregnant
at the age of seventeen?

Okay, I was a mistake.

Don't think you've never made me feel it.

I was a child…

with a child.

[in Tswana] I didn't have anyone
that I could share my weight with.

[in Tswana] That's why I left you
with your granny because I knew that…

she'd give you what you needed.

[sad music playing]

Mama, Beauty got

a full mother experience.

Our scars are not the same.

And that's why she's hiding in a bath.

[chuckles]

[sighs]

[groans] I'm a mess.

Tumi, look at me.

I'm your mother,

and I'll always be here.

[sad music continues]

[woman] That' s so sweet.

[sad music ends]

[Dineo] Home time.

Yeah.

[Tumi] So…

[in Tswana] Who is my father?

[in Tswana] We don't have to talk
about everything, let's go.

[Tumi] Well, that didn't last long.

[knock on door]

[in Tswana] Are you busy?

[in Tswana] Uh-huh. Was sending my friend
a text message.

[in Tswana] Oh. That boy from yesterday?

Yes.

[in Tswana] Why're you asking?

[in Tswana] Have I told you about

[in Tswana] this girl
I went to school with?

[in Tswana] She was dark-skinned,
very dark.

[in Tswana] Midnight darkness.

[in Tswana] Back then,

[in Tswana] being dark-skinned
was deemed as being ugly.

[in Tswana] She thought of herself
as ugly.

[in Tswana] She kept to herself.

[in Tswana] I could tell she was hurting.

[in Tswana] One day,
she didn't come to school at all.

[in Tswana] Then the next day
and the days after that.

[in Tswana] We never saw her again.

[in Tswana] What happened to her?

[in Tswana] She k*lled herself.

[in Tswana] At her funeral,
all anyone could talk about,

[in Tswana] was how beautiful she was.

Mom.

Why…

[in Tswana] Why are you telling me
all these things?

[in Tswana] If only she had spoken out,

[in Tswana] we would've told her
she was beautiful.

[in Tswana] There's no life in shame,
Bokang.

[in Tswana] We are who we are.

[doorbell rings]

[Tumi] Knock-knock.

Whew! All of you.

[in Zulu] Hello, everyone.

Ma?

Oh, sorry.

I know what you must think of me.

If you're not sure,
I'd love to let you know.

I'm sorry for sleeping with your husband.

And I'm sorry for ending Themba's sobriety

because sobriety is good.

Yeah, and also, it's the baby thing.

To drop it on you like that, is not cool.

[Valencia] Listen, I'm sure
if you're apologizing

for everything that you've done,

we'd all be standing here
until the second coming.

-Let her finish, please.
-Thank you, Ma.

Umm…

This is my thing, right,
I don't want my family

paying the debts
on the sins that I rack up.

Because shame, these people
are really good people.

And my sister, she…

My sister's not like me.

She's…

She's the real deal. You saw it.

Also, it's Christmas, guys.

This is the time where
we get together, we break bread,

we wash down the past with great wine,
which I can supply.

Not you, Themba, water works too.

We're all a little messed up.
We can build on crazy, right?

Can we talk somewhere, please?

[in Tswana] Let's go.

Thank you.

[in Tswana] Tumi, don't touch anything.

[disgusted huff]

Oh, jeez… Oh!

[Themba] Oh. Umm…

[balls clatter on the floor]

[Dineo] You have a lovely home.

I know.

[in Tswana] Our budgets are worlds apart,

but we're both mothers.

[in Tswana] And our children,

they're the most precious things
we have, right?

[in Zulu] My sons, they hate me.

[in Tswana] My daughters
aren't loving me either.

These kids, they don't know
how good they have it.

[in Zulu] We do everything for them.
[scoffs]

[in Tswana] And the trustworthy God

gave them free will.

So who are we?

We need to cut the cord at some point.

[in Zulu] What is it, man?

Hmm…

[Themba] [in Zulu] Look here.

[in Zulu] I know Beauty messed up,
not telling you everything that happened.

But I mean,

[in Zulu] don't let it all get to you,

[in Zulu] and give Mom a reason
to hold you back.

[in Zulu] Don't do that.

[in Zulu] She's your woman
and you guys are annoyingly good together.

[in Zulu] You are annoying.

You can't give up on that, man.

So you're giving me
relationship advice now?

[in Zulu] What, are you now Sis Dolly?

[in Zulu] You mean Sis Dolly
from Drum magazine?

Yes.

[in Zulu] I've always wanted to write
for Drum magazine.

[laughing]

Listen to your heart, man.

[in Zulu] I know you want her.
You love her.

[in Zulu] My brother, listen.
There's a voice in here

[in Zulu] that wants that woman.

[in Zulu] Go and get your woman.
Don't listen to Mom and Dad.

[in Zulu] Go and get your woman.
I'm telling you.

What about you?

[in Zulu] I'm resilient like an old car.

Yeah.

[sad music playing]

[phone ringing]

[in Tswana] My goodness.

[in Tswana] Beauty, my girl.

[in Tswana] You know what?

I can deal with you not giving me
the crown of Maid of Honor,

[in Tswana] but this one-man pity party
is not going to work for me.

[in Tswana] We're friends. We roll
together. People know us as a squad.

[in Tswana] This thing of feeling
sorry for yourself is not going to work.

[in Tswana] Now there's an aisle
out there, if you still want it, Sister.

I should've made you my number one.

Of course you should have!

It is what it is.
You didn't, should've, could've…

It's fine. It's okay.

[Tumi] Hey.

Umm…

[in Tswana] I heard you were still here.

Refiloe!

-What?
-You weren't meant to let anyone in!

Yeah.

Could I please
have a moment with my sister?

[Refiloe] [clears throat]

Well, if you could read the room,

[in Tswana] you'd see
that she doesn't want to talk to you.

All I need is five minutes, guys.

[Beauty] It's fine.

[Thando] Five minutes!

[in Tswana] I'll be waiting outside,
counting you down.

[Refiloe] [in Tswana] No way!

[phone vibrates]

[Tumi] Do you want me
to answer that for you?

[Beauty] It's Sbu.

I don't even know what to say to him.

[phone vibrates]

I know how that feels.

Sis, I want you to have what you deserve.

And that's everything.

So forget about me and…

Mom, Valencia,

the sperm donor.

Forget all of our drama.
Just… go get your man

-and marry him to death.
-How?

You know, that's what the Thandos are for.

-[Thando] You've got one minute left.
-[giggles]

I'm sorry.

For what?

I mean… You don't have friends,

you don't have a man,
and now you don't have a dad.

I shouldn't have said what I said
about you not being my sister.

It's cool, babe.

Get up.

-Hmm.
-Go get your man.

[in Zulu] What is it?

[in Zulu] Nothing.

[in Zulu] You're looking at me as if
I'm carrying a Kn*fe and I'll s*ab you.

[in Zulu] There's nothing.

[indistinct speech]

I haven't seen you
in this bedroom in a long time,

actually since we recalled Mbeki.

All right.

[in Zulu] Listen… Umm.

[in Zulu] I want us to talk
about the Sibusiso issue, you know.

[in Zulu] I think we should
do something special for him.

Something like what?

Can we call in some favors?

[alarm beeping]

[playful music playing]

[gasps] What the f*ck, Uncle?

Merry Christmas!

[in Zulu] Please get out.

-[in Zulu] Go and take a bath, prisoner.
-Get out of my room.

[in Zulu] Go and take a bath, prisoner!

Okay, I'm going!

[Siya] Enough with the questions.
Go and take a bath!

[in Zulu] This boy!

♪ And you know... ♪

♪ And you know ♪

♪ We ain't stopping ♪

♪ We ain't dropping ♪

♪ We ain't begging ♪

♪ We're just climbing ♪

♪ Until we reach the top… ♪

[Siya] [in Zulu] You see, my boy,
at least you're not like Joseph.

[in Zulu] They had sex with Mary
and claimed his child as well.

[in Zulu] Just imagine.

[in Zulu] Life
is just like a game of dice.

[in Zulu] Sometimes you win,
sometimes you lose,

[in Zulu] sometimes you're like
a traffic light, sometimes you're…

[Sbu] [in Zulu] Uncle.

We've been driving around for hours now.

[in Zulu] I'm getting sun-burnt.
Please, let's go back home.

-Ah! Where's your Christmas spirit?
-[in Zulu] What Christmas spirit?

When the woman I love
is not answering my phone calls.

[phone rings]

-[Siya] Hello.
-[Vusi] Where are you?

[in Zulu] We'll be there just now!

♪ Greetings, greetings, greetings… ♪

♪ We'll do the Thobela dance
We'll do the Thobela dance ♪

Um, um, what's…

♪ …with a different style ♪

♪ You've got to understand ♪

♪ That we've got to move on ♪

♪ So move on ♪

♪ Move on, it's hurting ♪

♪ Move on… ♪

[laughing]

[Sbu] Okay, what's going on?

[Valencia] It's your mother
saying I'm so sorry my child.

But how did you, guys…

You do know I have Cyril's
inauguration guy on speed dial, right?

Oh!

[happy singing]

[loud shout]

[ululating]

[singing dies down]

[singing]

[singing ends]

[big sigh]

I always thought the best part
about getting married was the dresses,

or having a father
to walk you down the aisle,

or having all the attention on me.

I was wrong.

The best part about getting married,

is getting to spend
the rest of my life with you.

That's if you'll have me.

Well, us.

I'm not going anywhere

and I was crazy to even think that. Okay?

I got us.

-Just no more secrets, yeah?
-Yeah.

[laughing]

[shouts of protest]

[Sbu] Sorry, sorry! I got carried away.

[singing] [in Zulu] The bride is ours

[in Zulu] She's actually ours

[joyful singing continues]

[in Zulu] Are you crying?

-No, it's just something in my eye.
-[chuckles]

[in Zulu] Okay, let's go.

[Valencia laughs]

[Dineo] [in Tswana] Be careful,
Sister Moipone.

[Moipone] [in Tswana] Yes,
I'm being careful.

[Dineo] [in Tswana] If you fall,
you're on your own.

[Moipone] Oh, thank you.

♪ Here, take my heart ♪

♪ Here's my love, it's all yours ♪

You came.

Well, I mean, FOMO. I wasn't going to,
but intimate private wedding,

Northern suburbs.

So what? Am I here as a friend or…

[Vusi] All right,
can everybody take their seats.

[in Zulu] We're about to start shortly.

Thank you.

[romantic singing]

♪ It's raining, and I'm wet ♪

♪ I'm wet from your love ♪

♪ My love ♪

♪ Things are ruined but I still love you ♪

♪ I'm thinking of you ♪

♪ I only want you… ♪

[whistling and ululating]

♪ Say it ♪

♪ Hear it ♪

♪ And sing it to me ♪

♪ Break ♪

♪ It ♪

♪ Pull me apart at the seams ♪

♪ I know when we broke it ♪

♪ I felt it will last ♪

♪ I trusted the process ♪

♪ I thought we'd never make it… ♪

[minister] You may now kiss the bride.

♪ I don't wanna be a fool again ♪

♪ I don't want to be the one to scream… ♪

[cheering]

♪ Let the road ♪

♪ For... ♪

[applause]

♪ Come down… ♪

[laughing] [background talking]

[glass clinking]

[Valencia] Attention, please.

Here's to my children.

All my children.

You may not be Zulu,

you may not be royalty,

monied,

-or raised right,
-[Thando] Huh?

but we all fall short.

What matters is

[in Zulu] you're now one of us.

[laughs] It's probably the nicest thing
she'll ever say to me.

-[clears throat]
-[glass clinking]

[Sbu] So, this is what I wanted.

To be marrying the love of my life,

in front of the people
that care about me the most.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Christmas wishes do come true.

Yeah, and I couldn't ask
for a more perfect day.

[Vusi] Hear-hear!

[cheering and applause]

[glass clinking]

[Tumi] Umm…

I too would like to say something

just before the wine gets to my head.

[in Tswana] Sweet Jesus on the cross,
come down, as in now, please.

[clears throat]

Yeah, so um…

I don't do speeches,

but I have to do the one thing
that I was tasked with for this wedding.

[sighs]

You are…

you were…

and will be…

the soul and the air that I breathe.

A heart and the love that I need.

[laughing]

[singing off-key] You… are my destiny.

[laughing]

On a serious note,

I don't know what to say.

I'm not exactly
the relationship person in this family.

-I'm sure you've all heard my stories.
-[Shadrack] Which one?

[soft laughter]

But I'm lucky

to be surrounded with so much love
that I know what love is.

Love is effortless.

It's the fun times and the memories
that we create together.

Whether it's…

singing at the side of the street or…

teasing each other
without catching feelings.

Love is…

It's unexpected.

You have to open up your heart
to receive it,

otherwise you…

you might miss
that it's always been there for you.

[soft romantic music playing]

Love is accepting.

You know, it's never ever dismissive,

even if you're a hot mess.

Love is uncomfortable.

It's the ability to say sorry,

even when sorry
is not part of your vocabulary.

But love is a Beauty

that can never be denied.

♪ God gave us love ♪

♪ God gave us love… ♪

So here's to letting go

and embracing love.

To love.

[everyone] To love!

[music dies down and changes]

[upbeat music playing]

[music ends]

Look, Themba, I'm not in the mood
to fight with you tonight.

[in Zulu] Listen.

[sad music playing]

I'm a piece of sh*t.

[in Zulu] I'm a shitty person.

You deserve so much more,

and I hope…

I… I hope

you find someone

[in Zulu] who'll give you all of that.

Get out.

[whispers] Get out.

[upbeat music playing]

♪ Hold it right there… ♪

Happy!

[upbeat music continues]

♪ Jerusalem my home ♪

♪ My home ♪

♪ Keep me safe ♪

♪ My home, keep me safe ♪

♪ Don't leave me here… ♪

[Tumi] So anyway, aren't you supposed
to be like feeding orphans or…

saving the world or some sh*t like that?

What? I figured the world could wait,
you know.

[in Xhosa] Because you need me.

♪ Walk with me ♪

♪ Don't leave me here… ♪

So, yes, your speech…
Your speech was blazing!

[in Xhosa] I still think you should've
sung that song,

it would've been so much better.

-No.
-Yes!

Yes.

♪ Keep me safe… ♪

You know, I…

I think about that night…

♪ My home… ♪

all the time.

♪ My Kingdom… ♪

It's just I'm a…

walking list of f*ck-ups,

♪ Keep me safe… ♪

and chances are I'm gonna mess this up.

♪ Keep me safe… ♪

You sure you want this?

You sure you want me?

♪ Do keep me safe ♪

♪ Do keep me safe… ♪

I do.

♪ Don't leave me here… ♪

-[fireworks exploding]
-[cheering]

[laughs]

Oh, man. [groans]

Yeah…

♪ Do keep me safe… ♪

Look, seeing that we're…

we're being real,

and we're calling each other out
on our bullshit,

♪ It's not here, my Kingdom… ♪

there's something I have to tell you.

♪ Do keep me safe ♪

♪ Do walk with me… ♪

[Tumi] Can't a girl catch a f*cking break?

[closing theme music playing]