02x03 - Where's Tumi?

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "How to Ruin Christmas". Aired: 16 December 2020 – present.*
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South African comedy centres around the Christmas gatherings of a newly-wedded couple and their respective families, as they navigate their own inner turmoils in the midst of the pending event.
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02x03 - Where's Tumi?

Post by bunniefuu »

[upbeat song playing]

[horns honking]

You really should've told me
about you and Gogo Twala.


[chuckles wryly] I mean, that back there?

That was not cool.

It's really not the outcome I needed.

[exhales deeply]

Go home, Tumiza.

I'll take it from here.

Take what from here?

[in Afrikaans] It's no longer
your problem. You've done your part.


[in English] So...

go home.

I'm kind of between homes right now.

And in between relationships.

Okay, fine.

Let me fix you a drink.

[upbeat music playing]

See that...

That's a language I understand.

[upbeat music continues]

[Grace, in Tswana] You're choking me.

[Shadrack, in Tswana]
Your dr*gs are making me sober.


I don't like being sober.

Drink water.

[in Tswana] Goodness.

I can't believe
that an upstanding woman like Gogo Twala


would cheat on her husband.

Not that I'm judging.
I'll leave that to God.


What's wrong with you?

Sister...

just because you're old,

doesn't mean you don't want to be touched.

Grace, what's got into you?

Can this family carry itself
with dignity for once?


Ah! Family?
You have such little faith in us.


And faith is our shield.

[singing] ♪ Faith is our shield[/i]

Grace, let's go.

My faith is reserved for the Lord,
not you. He never disappoints.


The Lord can drive you
to Durban next time.


-Is that not Khaya?
-Khaya.


Wow, they're so beautiful. Thank you.

[in English] Grace, man!

[in Tswana] Bring them.

-There's a car coming.
-[horn honks]


[Shadrack whistles]

-Oh!
-Khaya, you're matching with the car.


-[Dineo] No, man.
-[Shadrack laughs]


A lot of people could learn
a thing or two from you.


[in Xhosa]
Um, these flowers are actually for Tumi.


[in Tswana] Tumi left
with Gogo Twala's husband.


[in English] No, lover.

-They're going to burn her.
-[in Xhosa] They'll burn Tumi?


[in Tswana]
Who's going to burn Tumi? I'll k*ll them.


What's wrong with you, Grace?

It's the Durban weather.

It's humid.

Go check that the car is offloaded
and get Grace back to normal.


[in Xhosa] Ma, what's going on?

[Dineo, in Tswana]
It's a long story, my child.


[in English] It's better
if you take Tumi back to Joburg with you.


[in Xhosa] Okay, that's fine.

[in Tswana] Careful. There's a car coming.

[in English] Okay, Ma.

[whimsical music playing]

Khaya.

[phone beeping]

-[in Tswana] Where are they?
-What?


[in English] Pick up!

[in English] The scones, Grace.

[in English] The scones!

[exclaims] The scones!

[sobbing]

-[sobbing]
-[shushing]


[in Zulu] Oh, she loved Gogo so much.

-[sobbing]
-[shushing]


[Kwaito music playing]

[in Zulu] Do you get me, bro?

[in English]
I hate, hate, hate, hate Christmas.


You know, it's all about giving thanks.

You know what you have to remember?

Why you ignore your family
for the next days.


Mmm! Don't forget to condomize!
You know why? You know why?


[in Zulu] Friend!

[in English] He's gonna come back
years later with a kid.


It's true!

[grumbles]

[in Afrikaans] Those Twala boys
will know me by tomorrow.


[in Afrikaans] That's true.

[in English] Look, Gogo Twala,

all she wanted to do
was just live her life.


-[in English] Yeah.
-You know? Her way.


So why judge her? Why?

[in Afrikaans] So you'll help me?

[in English] Ah! No.

I make mistakes.

But I don't make the same mistake twice.

[in English] You promised Esther.

You see, what is designed by tongue
cannot be changed at man's will.


-[in Afrikaans] You can't...
-Okay, okay, okay.


[in English] I will.

[slurring] Just anything that will...
Just, would you stop talking?


[in English] That's it.

-Esther, baby!
-[in Afrikaans] That's it.


-[both exhale sharply]
-[phone ringing]


That's it.

[in English] Just excuse me.
Just hold on. Sorry.


[inhales deeply]

What do you want?

I've been trying to reach you.

I'm with my friends, okay?

I'm with Mr. Mkhize,

the stripper girl, and, um,

some guy, and I think he's gonna
go home with an STD tonight.


No. Huh-uh. Not... not you. Not you. Just...

Can we just get serious for a second?

Just let me have fun!

I'll have fun, and you, the Khaya,
he's not... There's no fun!


Okay.

Tell me where you are, and we'll have fun.

No, Khaya, it'll take you,
like, six hours to get here.


Tumi, I'm already here.

Really?

I'm in Durban.

So, like, you... you came for me?

Yes.

Now, where are you?

I'm at Lekhekhe,
and it's... it's not a bakery.


-[phone disconnects]
-Tumi, wait...


Lekhekhe.

[splutters] You know what?
Whatever happens tonight, okay?


Just make sure I don't go home with him.

Or you.

[man, in English] Dome presidential violet
with a gloss finish.


When they say, "rest in peace,"
this is the coffin they speak of.


[exclaiming]

[in Zulu] Hold up!
This is the one, Mavrrr.


We're taking this one.

[in English] Cash or credit, sir?

[in English] No, no, no.
None of the above, thank you.


You see, the... [clears throat]

The funeral package
we chose already comes with a coffin.


This coffin comes
with the presidential package.


Well, you know what else comes
with a presidential package?


-Hmm?
-Testifying at commissions of inquiry.


[in Zulu]
MaVrrr, since when are you so cheap?


Last year, you booked out a whole hotel
for a wedding that didn't even happen.


[in English] And our mother hated it.

[in Zulu] But our mother deserves this.

[in English] Yeah,
we'll take the presidential package.


Ah. Anything else? Would you like
some white doves to be released?


[gasps, in Zulu] Yes, white doves!

-[Vusi] No.
-[in English] Yeah!


No doves, please. No doves.

Nothing, okay?

[laughs]

[in Zulu] No. When I said "we," my boss,

I meant him, you see?

[in English] Yeah.

Okay.

-R , ?
-I can give you a discount on the doves.


-Yes!
-No doves. No doves.


Comrade, we need
to ring-fence these resources.


[in Zulu] Listen here.

[in English] You can't put a price
on a son's love for their mother, MaVrrr.


[Vusi] Listen...

[in Zulu] When did you take my wallet?

[in English] Magic fingers.

[chuckles]

-Don't...
-Oh!


-Declined.
-What do you mean, "declined"?


What kind of Mickey Mouse operation
are you running here? "Declined."


It's not us. It's you, sir.

Code...

-Fifty-one.
-Mmm. Insufficient funds.


Ha ha ha!

[comical music playing]

[Grace] Shadrack!

[Shadrack, in Tswana] No, Grace.

Don't finish the alcohol.

-Grace...
-Shh! Shadrack!


Those scones are here somewhere.
We must find them.


[Grace, in Zulu] Hello.

[in Tswana] Grace, I want
to drink alcohol with the Zulu men.


[in Tswana] No. Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Shadrack, let's look.

-Are those scones not strong?
-They're strong.


Am I a lightweight? Did they kick my ass?

[clucking]

They kicked your ass.

Exactly, so if anything happens,
you and I...


-Me?
-Yes.


Dineo's right.

You need the Lord Jesus.

Not just Jesus, the Lord Jesus.

[Grace speaking indistinctly]

[Prudence, in Zulu]
Why are you stealing meat?


[soaring music playing]

If you want to eat,

you should ask
a worthy woman to dish it up for you.


[Shadrack, in Tswana] Sorry, sister.

[in Zulu] No. Don't call me sister.

Pru. Pru.

[in Tswana] Pru, we're looking
for a bucket of scones.


We don't know where to look.

[in Zulu] Don't worry.
I put all the scones in the back room.


-[in English] Okay.
-Oh!


[in Tswana] Can you please
give us the keys? For the scones.


[in Zulu] And you are?

[in Tswana] Shadrack. Like in the Bible.

-Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.
-Yeah.


-This is my sister, Grace.
-Grace.


We are the Sellos.

-[in Tswana] Sello?
-Yes.


[in Zulu] As in Beauty's family?

-[in Zulu] Yes.
-Yes.


Your daughter didn't invite me
to her wedding.


The other daughter k*lled my sister.

-No.
-Shut up!


Then she brought her lover here.
Do you see what I mean?


Do you disagree?

[stumbling in Zulu] No, sister, your sister...

[in Tswana] Speak in English.

[in English] Your sister d*ed
of a heart att*ck. Tumi is innocent.


Oh flip, but she did bring her man here.

Very guilty!
We don't even know who Tumi is.


-I don't know her. Yeah.
-No.


-[in Tswana] Who is Tumi? Who is Tumi?
-Who is Tumi? Yeah.


So can we please
get the keys for the scones?


[in Zulu] The scones are for guests.

Since you are family,

you can help wash those dishes.

Leave me alone.

[Grace yelps]

[in Tswana] You need to help me
get the keys from Prudence.


[in Tswana] How? She hates us.

She doesn't hate you.
I saw her eyeing you.


Woo her in.

That woman is too old.

She's your age.

[in English] Exactly.

[in Tswana] I don't want to date
anybody born before June .


Please, Shadrack.

Dineo is going to k*ll us.

-Dineo?
-Yes.


Dineo. No, no, no.
Don't panic. Don't panic.


I'll help you.

But tomorrow, I'm drinking alcohol

with the men.

-The Zulu men.
-Hmm.


[upbeat music playing]

[bouncer, in Zulu]
Where do you think this is?


Are you high on p*ssy or high on weed?
You think this is your house.


[in English] Hey, babe.

What are you doing up there?

[slurring] I'm showing you what you...

What you've been missing.

[in Afrikaans] Get her out of here.
She's turning off my customers.


[in English] Okay, Tumi, I think
that means we need to get out of here.


-Huh-uh.
-Yes.


Huh-uh. I'm not like these girls.
I am expensive.


Yes, baby,
I'm sure you're worth every cent.


[crowd booing]

[in Zulu] Do we have a problem?

-[in Zulu] No, there's no problem, man.
-[in Zulu] No, he's the problem.


-[in English] Take him!
-[in Zulu] No problem.


I think we need to get off the stage.

-[in English] Wait. Wait. Wait.
-Ow.


-We have to wait because my friend is...
-Mm-hmm.


...um, there.

You know... [sighs]

Mr. Mkhize, I thank you.

And we should do this again, often.
Next time. Yeah.


[Mkhize, in English] Tumiza.

Remember, at night,
the lioness must rest by the river


to catch the impala at sunbreak.

That's... [clicks tongue]

That's poetry. Just so deep.

[Khaya] What does that mean?

[Tumi] It's like, you know,
lioness... [purrs]


[in Zulu] It's not time to rest, Minister.

[in Zulu] Where have you been?

I was making sure our mother's farewell
is a top-class affair.


[in English]
We are getting the presidential package.


[in Zulu] What is this?

Where did you get so much money from?

[in Zulu]
Do you really want to know? [chuckles]


You know I'm not scared of being a snitch.

You know what?
Take this and buy your manhood back.


I don't want it.

[tuts, clears throat]

[in Zulu] Uncle.

[in English] Is there something
I should know, Dad?


[in Zulu] It's nothing.
Your uncle and I are just talking.


Oh.

Oh! He doesn't know.

Listen, Siya. Please...

Your father is broke.

[in English] I'm not broke, okay?

It's just a temporary reallocation
of funds from my account


to another account, which happens
to have a level-seven clearance.


[in Zulu] What did he say?

He's trying to say
that he's broke on level zero.


But chin up. Uncle Siya's got you.

Take this and buy Shaka something.

[tuts, grumbles] Level zero.

[in English] Dad, is it true?

You're broke?

Please don't tell your mother
that you know.


[doorbell ringing]

[Beauty] Papa.

-[in English] You came!
-[laughs]


[in English] I couldn't stay away.

I mean, who knows?
This could be our last Christmas.


Oh, I'm so happy to see you.

[in Pedi] And this house?

Who lives here
when they're in Johannesburg?


[in English] No.
This is just their holiday home.


[in Afrikaans] Ah.
So it's empty the whole year?


-[Beauty chuckles]
-[car horn honks]


[in Pedi] My child...

[in English] Please pay for my Uber.
I hate bothering people.


Oh, no, of course. Nonsense.

-I will be back.
-Uh-huh.


[Grace, in Tswana] Leave that alone.

-[Shadrack] I'm fixing the flowers.
-Stop it.


[in English] Merry Christmas.

Shadrack.

[in Tswana] Am I still high or what?

[in English] Nice to see you two.

[in Tswana] He says "nice."

[in English] Nice?

[in Tswana] It will be nice when I see
the bride price you still owe my family.


[in Xhosa] You dog.

[in Pedi] She was heavily pregnant,
so we deducted for those damages.


[in Tswana] Who you calling damaged?

-[Beauty, in English] Uh, is...
-[Edmund laughs]


-Is everything okay here?
-[in English] Yeah.


Chatting with family. [chuckles]

Okay, Papa, I have some good news for you.

Sbu has agreed to pay for your surgery.

Papa?

Uh... Eh?

[in English] Sbu has agreed
to help pay for your surgery.


Fantastic stuff!

[in English] Ah, bless you, child.

[both laugh]

So, when is he sending the money?

Oh no. He's not sending the money.

He's gonna pay
for you to see a specialist.


No. Um...

[hesitating] I have a plan with my doctor.

All I need is cash.

Yeah, but now you get to get
the best care in the country.


Papa?

[exclaims]

[exhales sharply]

[in Pedi] It's the pain.

[groans] I'll be fine.

Um...

[in English]
I'm lucky to have you as my daughter.


[dramatic music playing]

[Edmund sighs]

[in English] A whole year?

Yeah, whole year.

[Edmund] Ah.

[Beauty clears throat]

[Edmund, in Afrikaans]
It's really posh out here.


[Tumi, in English]
If it could be like New Year's Eve,


It was like... Pew! Pew!

Remember? It was...
We were drinking, and we were smoking...


Whoa! Whoa! Hey, careful.

[moans] You know, we were f*cking,
and that was so good.


No. Tumi, come on. We're not doing that.
Not with you like this.


No... Not with me like what?

[slurring] This is me.

I haven't changed.

Things may have changed, okay,

but how I feel about you
is still the same.


Oh! [shushes]

Nothing is the same.

Okay? It's...

I know.

Okay? I know.

And that's why I'm here. I'm here for you.

-I'm here to fix things between us.
-[Tumi sighs]


And take you home.

You're gonna have to catch me first.

Okay, whoa. Okay. Are you okay?

-I'm fine.
-Okay. Okay.


I'm fine.

[emotionally] I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go to the bed

and then I'm gonna... [grunting]

I'll be fine again in the morning time.

Okay, yeah, absolutely.

-[Themba cooing]
-[toy squeaking]


[in English]
One good thing about being sober is that...


[in Zulu] ...at least I always have money.

-Oh yeah?
-Yeah.


[in Zulu] So I can take care
of Granny and Grandpa, right?


[in English]
But what about us moving out, Themba?


[in English] Well, we can't move out now.

It's the perfect time to move out.
You said your parents need a downgrade.


Oh, baby, they've worked so hard
for the life that they have...


[in Zulu] ...for me and Sibusiso.

As the big brother, I feel
that I need to take care of them.


[in English] I feel like I knew you were
going to chicken out, Themba Twala...


[in Zulu] ...and choose your family over us.

Okay, but you're making noise.
The baby is going to cry now.


-[whispers] He can't even hear us.
-He can sense your energy.


I'm just saying.

Look, I can't just turn my back on them.

You know what? I'm going to get a towel.

We have plenty of towels, Themba.
There's no need.


This is Shaka. He uses a special towel.
Isn't that right, my boy?


[in English] That's it.

[sighs]

What do you want, Shaka? What do you feel?
Do you think we should move out? Hmm?


-[Shaka coos]
-[gasps]


[sighs] Of course.

Of course you don't think
we should move out.


You want to be close to Valencia.

Typical Twala boy.

[Beauty] My dad's
all settled in the study.


I think Edmund should've
booked somewhere else.


Why? The rest of my family's
staying here. Why shouldn't my dad?


Did you tell him about the specialist?

Yeah. Uh, he's very pleased.

[Sbu] Hmm.
It's not quite what he wanted, was it?


What is your problem?

I finally have my dad back,
and you're treating him like some...


Scammer?

[inhales] Your family is the one
with criminals, not mine.


-It's like I don't even know you anymore.
-You started this.


He's using you
the same way you're using him.


What on earth would my dad
be using me for?


You trying to save your dad
will not bring back Langa.


-Don't you dare say his name.
-Why?


I've been holding myself from saying
his name. We need to deal with this.


-Stop!
-Wake up!


You live in a fantasy.
You don't even wanna see


that life isn't about some fake
father and daughter relationships


and all this Christmas spirit bullshit!

This is the real world, and our son d*ed.

He's gone.

Get out.

Last I checked, this was a Twala home.

And if you don't want to be in it,
you get out.


Okay.

[door slams]

[in Tswana] What are you doing?

Uh...

[in Pedi] I was hoping to find
the minister's secret whiskey stash.


[scoffs]

[in Tswana]
I want to know what you're doing here.


[in Pedi] Beauty asked me to be here.

[in English]
So I didn't want to disappoint her.


[in Tswana] Wow!

That's a first.

[sighs]

[in English] Dini,

you look smashing.

[in Pedi] You know what?

[in English]
The years have been kind to you.


[in Pedi] The other day
at the barbecue, you stole my heart.


[in Tswana] You're clearly still
very good with your tongue.


Ah!

[in Pedi] But you know
that's what you loved about me.


[in Tswana]
You know that's not what I meant.


[in Pedi] Why... Why aren't you sleeping?

[in Twana] I'm on my way to make...

[in Pedi]
You're going to make Rooibos tea.


[in English] Two sugars and hot milk.

-[in Tswana] You still remember?
-[in Pedi] Oh, how can I forget?


I know you only have Rooibos
late at night when you can't sleep.


Especially, if Tumi has shown you flames.

[in Tswana] Oh my!

That girl always does whatever she wants,

never thinking of the consequences.

[in Pedi] I also remember
what used to calm your nerves


when you were stressed.

-[in Tswana] Please don't be disgusting.
-[in English] No. Not like that.


[in Tswana] Don't be silly.
There's no music.


[in Pedi] Since when
have we ever needed music?


[in English] Oh, come on, Dini.

Your kids are not here.
Your siblings are not here.


Hey?

Only you and moi.[/i]

Eddie and Dini,

just like old times. Hmm?

[soft music playing]

This is what I imagined.

[in Pedi]
You and I dancing in a big mansion.


[in English] Getting...
Getting old together.


[in Tswana] Wow!

Who are you calling old?

[both laugh]

[in English] Do you know,
that's still possible.


[in Tswana] What?

[in English] Our happily ever after.

[music stops]

[in Tswana]
I won't play your games, Edmund.


[hesitating]

[in Pedi] This isn't a game.

[in English] I mean...

[in Pedi]
Beauty has her own life in London,


and Tumi...

is Tumi.

You can't grow old all alone

when I'm still here. No.

Are you trying to tell me that
the other day you didn't feel anything?


Hmm?

Are you not feeling anything right now?

-Hmm?
-[Dineo inhales softly]


[soft music playing]

[in English]
The most beautiful woman in the world.


God created you on a Sunday.

-[Dineo gasps softly]
-[Edmund moans]


[Dineo moans]

[knocking on door]

[in Tswana] You.

[Grace] Dineo?

Hide.

[Grace, in Tswana] Sister.

My goodness.

You told us to be ready by seven
so we can go help prepare in the kitchen.


-Is it seven already?
-No, it's before six.


I thought we could get there
before they eat my sco...-


Breakfast. So we can help
with preparing breakfast.


Grace, since when do you wake up so early?

Since when do you wake up so late?

[stifling laughter]

[coughs]

Are you sick?

[choking] I choked on my saliva.

[laughing]

[hoarsely] Please give me a minute.
I'll be right with you.


-[coughs]
-Oh.


Are you sure you're okay?

[choking]

I'm fine. Please get me water. [coughs]

[in Pedi] Oh boy!

I remember sneaking around
your mother's house as kids.


[in English] Some things never change, eh?

[in Tswana]
Don't you dare tell anyone about this.


This is never happening again.

You are nothing but a demon of lust.

[in English] You're the most beautiful...

[upbeat music playing]

[in Tswana] Why are you shoving me?

[in Tswana] Go, brother. Go.

Pru?

[in English] How are you?

[in Tswana] I'd like to ask,
what are you doing later?


[in Zulu] You're asking the obvious.
I'll be sitting by my sister's coffin.


[in English] Okay.

[in Tswana] What are you doing? No, man.

[in Tswana] So, I was saying
that maybe later on... [clears throat]


...we could go out for some drinks.

Right here in KZN, not far away.

[in Zulu] I don't drink the devil's urine.

Alcohol is the devil's urine.

[in Tswana] You're right.

[Prudence] Hmm.

[in Tswana] That's why I barely drink.
Me? No. Alcohol? No.


You know, on Christmas,
I might have just one beer,


whiskey,

a little bit of brandy,

a little bit of Moët,

sweet red wine.

Huh.

[in Zulu] Valencia is right
about your family.


[in Tswana] Valencia?
What did Valencia say?


-Brother.
-Huh?


Why are you listing things?

"Whiskey, brandy,"
listing them one by one.


That is why women don't want you.

They can't compete
with your love for the bottle.


[mutters]

You're swearing at me.

It's over.

It's over and done. I'm done helping.
Forget about those scones.


I'm going to do
what I should've been doing


since I got here.

Which is?

I'm going to drink alcohol

with the Zulu men.

Brother. Brother.

Shadrack! Sha...

Sha...

[in Zulu]
I've never touched a dead body in my life.


She's still your granny.

[in English] No.

When the dead are gone,

they're gone forever.

[in Zulu]
Let's stop talking and get to work.


Are you going to stare at me,
or are you going to help me? Huh?


[Beauty crying]

Hey. Hey, you.

I don't need your tears here.

Save them for the burial site.
Are we clear?


[sniffs]

You...

what's her problem?

[in Zulu]
This is not her only loss this year.


[sentimental music playing]

[sniffs]

Listen here, in life you must look forward
and never back. Are we clear?


[in English] That's easy for you to say.

[in Zulu] We all lose people we love,

but that doesn't mean that life must stop.

Life goes on.

[in Zulu] But Ma, how do I carry on
when my whole body's just betrayed me?


What is this? Huh?

Is this Esther?

It's just a body.

The most important thing here is her soul.

That's what's important. Are we clear?

Life is short,

but it doesn't mean it's not worth living.

[both scream]

[all laughing]

[Prudence, in English] Hey, Esther!

[all laughing]

[in Zulu] You're dangerous.

[all laughing]

[Siya, in Zulu] Hey, MaVrrr,
why don't I know any of these hymns?


[Vusi, in Zulu] Because...

[in English]
...you used to sneak out of service


to go and steal the communion wine.

[chuckles]

[in Zulu] You know, these churches
must go back to the real stuff,


not this juice nonsense.
People love alcohol.


They'll start going back to church.

[in English] Anyway, there's a change
in the program. I'm doing the obituary.


[in Zulu] How?
I've already written it. Here.


[in Zulu] Give it to me,
and I'll make it better.


[in English]
And then what am I supposed to do?


[in Zulu] Sit in the pews
with the rest of the people?


No, you can stand at the door
and hand out programs.


[in English] That's not going to happen.

I might be broke
and might not have a cent to my name.


[in Zulu] But what I'm going to do
is bury my mother with honor.


[in Zulu] Gentlemen,
I hope I'm not interrupting.


Of course not, Pastor.

You're not interrupting,

but you're a bit early
for our mother's service.


I know, son.

I only came to tell you personally,
out of respect for your mother.


The church can no longer preside
over Sister Esther's funeral.


Oh no, why?

The tithings, along with
a large cash donation,


has been stolen from the church.

The police are investigating,
and we're taking inventory.


[in English] The whole session
is being investigated


and has been canceled.

[in English] What? No.

[in Zulu] Really?

[exclaims]

What do the police know?

Pastor, there must be
something you can do.


[in English]
Mom's service is in a few hours.


[in Zulu] I'm very sorry,
but that's when the detectives are coming.


But my mother...

[in English] ...she was a loyal member
of your church right until death.


[pastor, in English] Yes, yes.

[in Zulu] We will continue
to pray for her soul,


but what is a church without its tithings?

I am sorry for your loss,
but there's nothing we can do.


I leave you with his mercy.

[in English] So you stole from the church?

[in Zulu] That pastor
uses the money for himself.


Did you see his jacket?

His shoes,
they're Italian, extremely expensive.


Besides, I did this for Ma.

[in Zulu] No, you didn't do it for her.

[in English] You did this for yourself.

She'd be ashamed of you right now.

-Ashamed? Of me?
-Yes. Yes.


[in Zulu] What about you?

A corrupt politician
who steals people's money. Huh?


At least the money is going
to bury our mother the right way.


If you don't like it,
don't come to the funeral.


[in English] You can't ban me
from my mother's funeral.


[in Zulu] I'm the breadwinner now.

And since Ma is gone,
I don't have to see you ever again.


[in English] Well, that would be
one good thing about our mother dying.


[clicks tongue]

Piece of sh*t.

[Khaya, in English] Babe, I'm back.

I got your wings.

Baby, are you okay?

"Going to help with the funeral.
We'll make up properly."


[Valencia, in Zulu] You're back so soon.[/i]

[Lydia, in Zulu] Yes, we're back.[/i]

We were enjoying ourselves.

I missed my baby.

[both chuckling]

[in English] Thank you, Ma.

[in Zulu] Hello, my baby. Hello.

[cooing]

-[in English] Ma?
-[in English] Yes?


[in Zulu]
This isn't the outfit I put him in.


[in Zulu] Of course.
I bought this for him.


Just wait for tomorrow
to see his outfit for Gogo's funeral.


[in English] He already has
something to wear tomorrow.


[in English]
Well, this is a Twala child, Lydia.


[in Zulu] Isn't that so, my boy?

[in English] You need to look the part.
Yes, you need to look the part.


-[in Zulu] Okay, baby. My boy.
-We've got an image to uphold.


[in English] Yes, Ma. But he's a baby.

[in Zulu] Yes, he's a baby,
but he represents his family.


He's Shaka.

[in Zulu] Can I talk to you in private?

You can talk in front of them.
We are all family here.


-[in English] Okay.
-[in English] Yes.


Um, Ma, considering your situation,
don't you think


you should be more concerned
with saving money


than spending designer wear on my son?

Sorry, my boy.

[in Zulu] Get out.

Get out.

[in English] Sorry, my boy.

[in Zulu]
How dare you speak to me like that.


After all that I have done for you.

[in English] All you've done for me?
You mean bully and criticize me?


[in Zulu]
To show you how to be a good mother.


Clearly your own never taught you.

[in Zulu] My dry breasts
don't make me a bad mother, Valencia.


[in English] I'm a good mother.

[in Zulu] And a damn good daughter-in-law.

[in English] I've supported this family,
stood next to my husband.


[in Zulu] I have never disrespected you
in front of people.


[in English] Clearly,
that's not enough for you.


[in Zulu] You know,
if this is how you treat Twala wives...


[in English] ...and this is what it means
to be a Twala wife,


then I don't want it, Valencia.

-[in Zulu] Mmm. Hello.
-[women] Hello.


[Valencia] Wow!

You're such eavesdroppers. Hmm.

[funky music playing]

Uh...

-Ma?
-Huh?


[in English] What are you doing?

[in Tswana] I'm chopping.

-[Beauty, in English] You okay?
-[in English] Yeah, I'm okay.


[in Tswana] How was it at the mortuary?

[sighs]

[in English] Strange, you know?
It feels like death keeps following me.


First it was the baby,
and then Gogo Twala, and now...


[in Tswana] ...Dad.

-Edmund?
-[in English] Yeah, Ma.


I should've said something sooner.

[in Tswana] What's wrong with him?

[in English] Ma, he's really sick.

He needs to remove his kidney.

But Sbu and I are helping.

[in Tswana] How?

[in English] He needed an operation.
We think he needs a second opinion,


so we're gonna pay
for him to see a specialist.


-Ma.
-Hmm.


-[in Tswana] That's very kind of you two.
-Yeah. Shame.


[in Tswana]
You know, Dad is in so much pain.


[in English] I'm sure.

Okay.

[jazz music playing]

[beeps]

[sighs in frustration]

-[alarm sounding]
-[Edmund exclaims]


[alarm continues]

[Prudence, in Zulu] You have no shame.

You call yourselves men,
but you're two idiots


who can't even bury
their own mother with dignity.


[in Zulu] Auntie, the problem is not me.
The problem is Siyabonga.


[in Zulu] There must be
another church we can use.


[in English] I've been to every church.

They're fully booked.
There are funerals and weddings.


[in Zulu] It's busy.

[in English] All right, okay, no church.

[in Zulu] We can pitch a tent outside.

Are you crazy? We can't pitch a tent here.

We'll be the laughingstock
of the community.


They'll think we're poor.

Listen, keep your mouth shut.

You're not a part of this family.

-Shut up. We can fix our own problems.
-Auntie.


-I'm not part of this family?
-[Prudence] Yes.


Hold on, Vusi.

You're just like your sister.

[in English] I've been
with this family years.


[in Zulu] But it means nothing to you.

I'm trying to show you
that I'm a good wife.


[in English] But it was not enough.

[ominous whooshing]

[in Zulu] You're talking to me like that?
Poverty's making you talk like this.


Point of order, please, Auntie.

[in Zulu] We have no problem helping you

bury your sister
under a tree at your house.


Where will you find a pastor?

Huh?

I'll ask Dineo. She loves praying.

[in English] She's close to God.
She can run the service.


Where is Dineo?

She's not here.

Hmm?

[Sbu, in Zulu] Dad.

[in English]
The body's just left the mortuary.


[Vusi sighs]

-[Vusi mutters]
-[in Zulu] Let's go.


[in Zulu] Let's go.

[somber music playing]

[groans in frustration]

[tuts]

[film continues]

[groans in frustration]

Edmund.

[in Tswana] Shoes on the table?
Whose house do you think this is?


[in English] Hey!

My sweetie pie!

You're back!

[in Tswana]
A man as sick as you shouldn't drink,


especially with your condition.

[in English] Condition?

[in Tswana] Do you remember ?

[in English] Hey, man,
that's donkey years, sweetie.


[in Tswana] Mmm.
I thought you remembered everything.


[in English] Hey!

[in Pedi] You're stirring the pot.

Dini!

[in Tswana] I remember
looking after two small babies


while having to go to the hospital
every day for two weeks.


Because you drank yourself into a stupor

and had to have your kidney removed.

Now, imagine my surprise when I heard
that you need a kidney-removal surgery,


when I know you already
had one removed in .


[in English] Dini, please.

[in Pedi] I'm doing this
because I love Beauty.


[in Tswana] Beauty, who you abandoned

but now are taking money from
and lying to?


[in Pedi] I love her so much!
And you're my drug.


[in Tswana] You see this?
This is all the money I have left.


Please take it and leave for good.

Or stay and tell Beauty the truth.

[swallows]

[dramatic music playing]

[swallows]

[in English] How much?

[in Tswana] You better leave, Edmund.

[sniffs, sighs]

[in English] Thank you.

[vocalizing]

[people singing hymn]

[hymn continues]

[in Zulu] So you shouted at her?

[in Zulu] She started it,
and I finished it.


[in English] If you want
to go stay with your mother, fine,


but me and Shaka, we're leaving.

[mourners singing hymn]

[in English] Oh, God.
She's probably gonna k*ll me in my sleep.


-[in Xhosa] Where is Tumi?
-[in English] I haven't seen her all day.


[in Xhosa] She said she was coming
to help with the funeral.


[phone ringing]

-Hey!
-Sorry.


[ringing stops]

[phone buzzing]

[buzzing stops]

[phone buzzing]

-[buzzing stops]
-[in Tswana] There goes your favorite.


I'm sure wherever she is,
she's causing so much drama.


Hey! Shh!

Shh!

[somber music playing]

[in Zulu] Angle it towards me.

[in Zulu] No, towards me. It's my funeral.

[in English] When will you grow up?

[in Zulu] What's wrong with you?
This side.


Towards me!

[Siya and Vusi shouting]

[all screaming]

[all clamoring]

Ma!

[Siya, in Zulu] Where is my mother?

[phone buzzing]

[dramatic music playing]
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