03x03 - Like House the Fire

[bunniefuu]

[all shouting]

[Vusi] Ladies! Hey, whoa!

[in Zulu] Ladies, please...

[in English] Whoa, whoa.
Dineo. Dineo, please.

[in Zulu] Val, please.

[in English] What are you doing? [gasps]

-[in Zulu] What are you doing, Dineo?
-[in Tswana] You burnt my house!

-[Siya in English] Whoa!
-Please. Order here.

I swear to God, it was an honest mistake.

Hold on.
So, my father's mistress is my sister.

[in Zulu] Whose sister is a mistress?

[in English] Seriously?
Are you that embarrassed of me...

[in Tswana] ...you didn't tell your brother
about the child you abandoned?

[in English] No, it's not like that.

[Themba] This doesn't make sense.

[in Zulu] She's younger than me,
so when was she conceived?

You and Mom have been married
a very long time.

[in English] Right, Mama?

Did your mother send you?

[in Zulu] Where is she now? I know her,
she's probably wrecking another home.

[in Tswana]
Seeing as she d*ed a month ago...

[in English] ...I don't think that's likely.

I'm so sorry about your loss, my child.
[in Tswana] How did she pass away?

And did you check
Valencia's whereabouts a month ago?

[in Zulu] Do you think I'm that cruel,
that I run around burning houses?

[in English] I don't know.

[in Tswana] Where were you
the day Parliament was burning?

-[in English] Order! Order!
-No, you order, chief!

We need answers now.

Chief, listen, if you want answers,
I'll give you answers, okay?

Zama's from a time in my life
that I'm not proud of.

Excuse me.

[hesitates] No, no, no. Listen, I...

[sighs] I'm proud of you as my daughter.

-[in Zulu] Excuse me?
-[Vusi in English] Yes. I-it's just...

You know, it's just... It's complicated.

[in Tswana] Nothing is complicated here.
I am your daughter.

[in English] Does that not mean anything
to you?

It does.

You know what?

[in Tswana] Just give me
what's owed to me.

[in English] Reparation,
maintenance, land.

[in Tswana] And you...

[in English] You owe me a new house.

-[shouting]
-Whoa, whoa. Hey, wait.

[in Zulu] This is not the show Utatakho.[/i]

We're going to get DNA tests done,
and then we're doing a...

-[in English] Themba.
-Ma...

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[in Zulu] Listen...

[in English] We're gonna give you money.

[in Zulu] On condition that you leave
this place. We don't want to see you.

[in English]
There's no space for you here.

-No, Val.
-[in Zulu] No, Vusi. Hold on, Vusi.

[in Tswana] I've been mad at my mom
for keeping this from me, to her deathbed.

But now I get it.

She was saving me.

You Twala people,

you're full of sh*t.

[in English] Exactly.

[panting]

Um, I can't find Beauty.
And she knows about the gender reveal.

[in Zulu] Oh yeah,
that's what I came here for.

She was seen driving off
in one of the game drive cars.

[in English] Now I understand why Beauty
keeps running away from you guys.

[in Tswana] You can go back
to living your lives...

[in English] ...where I don't exist.

No, Zama.

-Val...
-[in Tswana] Leave me alone!

Baby Jake! Baby Jake!

[in Zulu] Calm down.

Okay, I'll let go of you.

[Dineo sighs]

[in Tswana] You people...

you're all full of sh*t.

[in English] Dad. Ma.

[in Zulu] So all this time, you knew,
and you said nothing?

You said nothing.

About what?

Uh, okay, listen, my boy,
go and find your brother.

We'll meet out front.

-Go.
-Uh, T-Themba.

-[in English] Love.
-Babe.

Come. Come.

Val...

Val!

So...

[in Zulu] ...how are
your bowel movements now?

[upbeat music playing]

Mm-hmm.

[Vusi tuts]

[music continues]

[Beauty breathing heavily]

[in English] "Our suffering is a part
of the birthing journey."

We must appreciate pain

in order to appreciate some f*cking joy.

[exhales deeply, groans]

Please, baby, just stay in there.

I'm sure Dad is out there
worried sick and searching for us.

[Jean] Now, this is the wild.

That sheep of yours is probably...
[in Zulu] ...a starter for the lions by now.

[in Tswana] There's no lion
that will eat my sheep.

Even if you call it a lion in Zulu.

[in English] Yeah,
but I swear I tied a double knot.

-[Shadrack] Double knot?
-[Sbu] Double knot.

[in Tswana] This is Succulent
we're talking about.

Succulent is Houdini.

He's Ananias Mathe.

[in English]
Succulent is an escape artist.

-Are we still talking about the sheep?
-Less talking, more driving.

[in Tswana] This is your fault, Grace.

But, brother...

[splutters] Okay. The problem is that

other people's brothers have dogs as pets.

My brother has Succulent.

You see! You're at it again.

Brother, no!

[in English] No, no, no!

Okay! It's my fault.

[in Zulu] It's my fault.

[in English] I'm the one
who lost your baby.

[in Zulu] Knowing
that I'm about to be a father.

What kind of father am I going to be?

[in English] Seriously,
are we still talking about the sheep?

[in Tswana] Brother,
we will find Succulent. Okay?

[in English] And, Sbu, please,

stop second-guessing yourself
out of fatherhood.

[in Tswana] It's the last thing
Beauty needs right now.

No, no, no, no, no. You're right.
[in Zulu] You're right.

-[in English] Yeah.
-[Sbu] Yeah.

[in Zulu] So Beauty
should just leave me now.

[in English] Drive faster
before I k*ll these two. And you.

[Shadrack] Succulent!

[sentimental music playing]

[crying]

[breathing heavily]

[groans]

[breathing deeply]

[rustling]

[breathing shakily]

[both exclaim]

[in Tswana] Oh my goodness.

Beauty, your people are looking for you.

My goodness.

What's your problem?

[grunts]

[Zama] My goodness, this girl. Beauty!

[in English] I need you to take me
back to the lodge. Now!

[in Tswana] Hey, I'm not going back there.

[panting]

[in English] Even for this?

[in Tswana] Ah! You peed yourself?

Girl...

-[in English] You better get it together...
-My water broke.

[gasps] Oh, sh*t.

[in Tswana] Beauty, I don't know
anything about babies.

I only came here for Vusi.

Vusi?

Yes. He's my father.
[in English] No, sperm donor.

-Vusi's your father?
-Unfortunately.

-[cries in pain]
-[gasps]

[groans, pants]

[exhales deeply] Okay. Focus.
Lodge, hospital, now.

[in Tswana] By the time
we get to the hospital,

your baby will be wiping its own bum.

Sit down.

[in English] No, my baby's going to die.

[crying]

-I can't lose another one.
-Hey. No, no, no.

[in Tswana] Nothing's going to happen
to your baby.

We just need to make a plan.

[in English] I had a plan. Okay?
I was going to have an expensive doula,

and I was going to have a room-temperature
birthing pool, and a Beyoncé playlist...

pre-"Formation."

[in Tswana] I also had a plan.

Befriend Thando, go to your baby shower,
meet my dad, and have a family again.

But that didn't happen.

We just have to come up with a new plan.

[in English] Okay, we'll circle back
to you being a weird stalker later.

What's the new plan?

[in Tswana] To be honest,
this whole process is frustrating.

When I realized at your baby shower
that he knew who I was...

-[in English] ...it changed everything.
-For me. The plan for me.

-Oh! Yes.
-Yes.

Got it. Got it. Got it. Uh...

[in Tswana] There's a spa here, right?

[in English] Okay, I'm gonna need you
to focus on me and the baby,

not doing your nails...

[in Tswana] But they have a jacuzzi there.

[in English] I'm not giving birth
in a jacuzzi.

-[screams in pain]
-Oh!

[panting] Where's the jacuzzi?

[in Tswana] Okay, breathe. Let's go.

[in English] Breathe, breathe.

[in Zulu] You slept with Kopano
and ditch her?

You're too loud. You'll wake the baby.

Oh. You're telling me you picked Valencia
over the sexy Kopano?

I don't care how sexy she is.
[in English] I was lost without Valencia.

[in Zulu] You're lying. You weren't.

How would you know?

[in English] Oh yeah.

[in Zulu] All this time,

I thought that I had bad luck,
thinking Mom is angry at me.

But it's actually you
she's angry with, you sly dog,

because you abandoned your child.

[in English] You think
that's what I wanted?

There's not a minute
of any day that went by

without me thinking about Zama.

-Uh...
-I should've fought for her more.

Vusimuzi.

-[in Zulu] What is it?
-Shaka needs to go and sleep.

He's already asleep.

He pooped so he's in a lot of sh*t.

And now you're also in sh*t.

Uh...

Val, listen.

[in English] It's not what it sounds like,
all right?

-[in Zulu] What I was trying to say was...
-I see now, Vusimuzi Twala.

When you think about your family...

all this time,

you were thinking about her?

Huh?

This means, every second
of every minute, every day, Vusi,

you were thinking about her? Huh?

I'm sorry.

[in English] I'm so sorry
to keep you away from your real family.

That's not what it is. Okay?

[in Zulu] I don't want to lie to you, Val.

[in English] I should have fought for her.
I should have told you.

[in Zulu] I should have walked away.

When I still had the chance.

[in English] No, no, no. Val.

[Valencia exclaims, cries]

[Vusi sighs]

[sighs] Well done, Vusi.

[scoffs]

[serene music playing]

I see something.

Come. Just stay behind me.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Jean exclaims]

[sighs] Oh, yes.

It's definitely a sheep.

I think it's quite clear
by the paw prints here in the entrails,

and the bite marks in the abdomen

that this animal was ravaged
by a pack of wild dogs.

[wailing]

Hell of a thing.

[Sbu pants]

Oh my God.

[wailing]

[sobbing]

[Sbu retches]

[in Zulu] Beauty is a real drama queen.

Every year, we're looking for her.

[in English] Drama queen?

[in Zulu] Have you forgotten
about your deadbeat father...

[in English] ...and your mother
who's an arsonist?

-Love-love?
-Hmm?

As my wife...

[in Zulu] I think that...

[in English] I feel like...[/i]

[in Zulu] ...it would be better
if you were a little bit more supportive.

[Shadrack wailing]

Themba!

[wailing]

[spits, pants]

[in English] I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Shadrack wailing]

[in Zulu] What's happening? Ouch.

What's wrong?

[crying]

[Themba in English] Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

[gasps]

[in Zulu] Themba, what are you doing here?

-[in English] Beauty.
-What?

-She ran away.
-[in Tswana] Again?

[in English] Yeah, she found out
about the gender reveal.

We have to leave.
We have to go now. Let's go now.

[in Zulu] Sorry for your loss, Uncle.

[sobbing]

[in English] I think I'm gonna...

[sobbing]

Shadrack Succulent Sello, Jr.

[in Tswana] You were my light.

[Jeep engine starts]

You were my blanket when it was cold.

[in English] Rest in power.

-[Sbu in Zulu] Uncle, please.
-[in Tswana] Brother, we have to go.

[singing "Hamba Kahle Mkhonto"]

Brother...

[continues singing]

Please sing with me.

[both singing]

[sentimental music playing]

[Dineo scoffs]

[in English] It must be nice
sitting and relaxing

while my home is ash,
and my daughter is missing.

Your home, it was an accident, Dineo.

But your daughter is your fault.

Miss Gender Reveal.

The second launch was all on you.

Thank Zama for revealing the truth.

[in Tswana] Or I wouldn't have known
what you did.

[inhales sharply]

[in English] I know.

[in Zulu] I know, Dineo.
[in English] And I'm sorry.

But right now, my house is on fire.

[in Zulu] Is she the one
you wanted arrested?

Hey, isn't that the boss lady?

[in Tswana] The poor woman is hurting,
and you want to arrest her? Shame on you!

[exclaims]

[in Zulu] But she's the one who called us.

[sentimental music playing]

[knocks on door]

Knock, knock.

[in English] Dineo,
I have nothing left in me.

[in Zulu] Please.

[in Tswana] Valencia, I didn't come here
to fight, but...

[inhales]

[Beauty screaming]

[upbeat music playing]

[Zama in English] Google,
how do I perform a water birth?

[virtual assistant]
Sorry, I don't understand.[/i]

[Beauty screaming]

-[Valencia] Beauty.
-[Dineo] Beauty!

-[in Tswana] She needs to go to the hospital.
-We can't. The baby is coming now.

[screaming]

[in English] Not you.

This is all your fault.
I mean, a gender reveal, really?

It was her idea, Beauty.

[screaming]

Has anybody found Sbu yet?

No!

Beauty!

[panting] I don't want you in here.

If anything happens to this baby,
it'll be your fault.

So, please, just get out.

[somber music playing]

[screams] Get out!

-[screaming]
-[frenetic music playing]

[Zama gasps]

[breathing deeply]

[panting]

She's having a baby. Right now.

-Right now?
-In the jacuzzi.

Okay. Stay calm. Everybody, stay calm.

Aunt Grace, please go in my room,
please get my Bluetooth speaker,

and get the lavender oil
out of the toiletry bag.

And please bring me some vodka
from the mini-bar. Please. Come on.

-[Grace in Tswana] Where's the key?
-[Sbu in English] It's in the reception.

[in Zulu] The cart did well, my love.

It survived.

-[in English] Reincarnation.
-[Lydia] Huh?

[in Tswana] You know, when a person dies,
and their spirit comes back...

Maybe Succulent
will be reborn as the baby.

-Oh.
-I can feel it here.

[sobbing]

[in English] Is... Is this...
Is this still really about the sheep?

Yeah, they were very close.

[Shadrack wailing]

[Beauty screaming]

We... We heard screaming.

Yeah.

Zama, you came back.

-Get out!
-Huh?

-Get out!
-Um...

No, sorry.

[Beauty crying]

[sighs] Thank God.
[in Tswana] Jesus Christ.

[exclaims]

[panting] I don't want him in here either.

[in Tswana] What do you mean?
You need to stop kicking people out.

[in English] I'm not the one.

You pinky promised.

I know. I know. I'm sorry. I just wanted
to make sure that everything...

That we were prepared for it all,
everything, literally.

Listen, last time,
nothing was in our hands, all right?

This time around,
everything is on us, baby.

[in Tswana] I love this for you guys, but...
[in English] ...I'm not the one.

Listen, hey, listen. I get it, okay?

If you don't want me around, I get it.
But I can get us through this, okay?

I promise. Please.

[in Tswana] She needs you here,
and so does my hand.

[in English] Please?

-Yes! Okay. Yes.
-[Zama inhales sharply]

[screaming]

I'm coming. I'm coming.

-[screaming]
-Okay, I got you. I got you. I got you.

Just as we practiced, okay?
Just as we practiced. Come on. Breathe.

How far are the contractions?

Like I said, I'm not the one.

-Okay, how far, baby?
-Two minutes?

Okay. Okay. Okay.

-Yes.
-The baby's almost here, Sbu.

We're ready, okay?
We've done this a million times, baby.

-Yeah. Okay.
-Okay, just breathe. Breathe.

[in Tswana] Sbu, here's the speaker.

[in Zulu] Please give me my phone.

[in English] It's in my pocket there.

Here, please. Okay, baby.

[in Tswana] It's okay, Beauty.

-[music playing]
-Listen, listen, listen, listen.

-[wailing]
-Remember?

[Beauty panting]

[breathing deeply]

Yes. Breathe, baby. Breathe.

[breathing shakily]

Baby, breathe.

-[whimpering]
-You got this.

[crying] I... I can't do this.
Maybe... Maybe we should pray.

-[in Tswana] Let me fetch your mother.
-[in English] No. Not her.

[in Tswana] Listen, I know
that they did dumb sh*t.

But she's still your mother,
and she might not always be around.

If my mother was still alive,

I'd want her present
for every god-damn thing in my life. Okay?

[water pouring]

[Beauty screaming in distance]

[gentle music playing]

[in Zulu] Is it poisoned?

[in English]
I should have thought of that.

[chuckles]

If it makes you feel better...

[in Tswana] ...I lied to my child
about who her father is.

Two men walked out on me.

One could say...

[in English] ...I'm an expert
in making things fall apart.

[in Tswana] But you'll be fine.

[in Zulu] Tell me something.
[in English] Why are you being nice to me?

[in Tswana] So you can drink the poison.

I get no joy seeing
another woman in distress.

-[in English] Even if she cooked my house.
-[sighs]

[in Zulu] Dineo, I'm sorry.

[in English] I'm really sorry.

[in Tswana] It's Beauty.
[in English] She wants her mother.

[in English] Thank God.

[in Tswana] Come.

[in English] You too are her mother.

-[in Tswana] Come.
-[Zama] Let's go.

We're coming.

[Sbu and Beauty breathing deeply]

-[in English] You're crowning.
-Beauty, you need to start pushing.

You can do this. You can do this.

[panting]

[Sbu] Yes, yes.

-[Beauty screams, pants]
-Okay. Okay.

-Come, come.
-[panting]

Come.

[exhales, screams]

[water gurgling]

[Sbu] Whew! Oh! Oh! Oh. Okay.

[in Zulu] Uh, it's poo.

-[in English] Uh, Mama, please.
-Africa said it happens sometimes.

Concentrate on your pushing.

Push. Push. Push.

Okay. Okay.

Push. Let's go.

[Beauty panting]

Push.

-Push. Push.
-All right.

[both screaming]

Okay, breathe.

Okay.

[baby crying]

[murmuring]

Oh! [murmuring]

[in Zulu] Dineo, here you go.

Here's the string.

[in English] Sibusiso, cut the cord.

-[in Tswana] Cut the cord.
-[Sbu in English] Okay.

Ten toes, ten fingers, and a...

[Valencia in Zulu] Cover him.

[Zama in English]
Just in time for Christmas.

-[cries]
-[all cheer]

[in Tswana] It's baby Jesus.

[in English] Jesus!

Let me get the uncles.
[in Tswana] My goodness.

-[in English] Shadrack! Hey, guys! Come!
-[Shadrack] Oh!

[in Tswana] It's a boy.

[in Zulu] Grandpa's boy.

[in English] Congratulations.
Congratulations, Beauty.

-[in Zulu] Where's the child?
-Shaka is crying.

Hello! Hello, Jesus.

[in Tswana] And then this?

-[in English] That's mine. I need it.
-[all laugh]

[Grace in Tswana]
Shadrack also wants some.

[in English] Congratulations.

[Valencia in Zulu] No, Shadrack.

[in Tswana] Let my brother be.

[in English] Happy!

-[all cheering]
-[sentimental music playing]

Val, the reason I couldn't tell you...

[in Zulu] ...that I wanted
a relationship with Zama

is because I didn't want
to cause you any more pain.

[in English] You know, back then,
I was young, I was stupid,

and it was easier to walk away.

[in Zulu] I can't do it anymore.

[sighs]

I've never had a problem with Zama.

[in English] It's what she represents.

A time...

One I'd rather forget.

Look, Val, I completely understand.

You don't have to do this with me.

-Zama is my responsibility.
-No.

[in Zulu] You know
that you and I do things together.

[in English] I really don't deserve you,
do I?

[in Zulu] Yes, you don't deserve me.

[sighs heavily]

[in Zulu] Let's go and look for her.

[in English] It's years too late.

And finally,
she can spend Christmas with her father.

[in English] Thank you.

[in Zulu] Oh. Her car is gone.

So, Mr. Minister, what do we do now?

Look at the king.

He looks almost innocent
when he's sleeping.

-Eh. [chuckles]
-[chuckles]

[in English] It's a trap.

[both laugh]

It's a trap.

Yeah.

-[in Zulu] But, my love...
-Uh-huh?

[in English] Don't you think
baby Jesus is so beautiful? Huh?

Obvious, I mean...

[in Zulu] He's a Twala.

-Ah.
-Ah.

Oh, geez. [laughs]

So he's not the Dingane
to your Shaka anymore?

[sighs]

[in English] I mean, with Zama around,

it's anyone's guess
where we stand in the family.

[in Zulu] You see...

[in English] It's like...

Hey.

You stand with me.

And Shaka.

And our family.

[in Zulu] You've wasted so much time

trying to impress your father
like a ten-year-old.

[in English] Be your own man, love-love.

The guy that I...

That I fell in love with.

[in Zulu] The guy who worked hard
to turn his life around in just two years.

[in English] A guy who's an amazing father
to our little t*rror1st.

And then...

[in Zulu] ...only then,
will your father see the real you.

[in English] Just like I do.

-Love-love...
-Love.

[Lydia moans]

Themba... [chuckles]

A kiss like that
is gonna get me pregnant again.

[in Zulu] We know that the king
needs potty training before that happens.

-[in English] Right.
-Mm-hmm.

So, should we...

[in Zulu] ...just hang around?

[in English] Or take a stroll,
watch the sunrise?

Yeah, that's romantic.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

-Or...
-Or?

[in Zulu] Go to sleep?

[in English] Now, that's
the most romantic thing

you've said to me, Themba Twala.

-Let's go.
-Let's go.

-[in Zulu] I'm tired.
-[in English] Yeah.

[Lydia yawns]

[Themba in Zulu] This one mustn't wake up.

[Lydia] Let's go.

[in English] Very strong. Very healthy.

No squashed penis.

-Thank you, Doc.
-Still not a thing.

You got a name for him yet?

-[inhales]
-Uh...

Jesus?

Oh. Here's me, I forgot
my frankincense and myrrh.

[Sbu and doctor laugh]

-You get it, right?
-I get it. Thank you, Doc.

-[baby cries]
-[shushes] You don't like the joke either?

Don't let him walk on water, eh?

Thanks, Doc.
You can close the door behind you.

-[shushes] Sorry, baby. Sorry.
-[Sbu cooing]

-Oh, baby.
-Look at you.

-You did it.
-We did it.

I mean, after eight months of holding
my breath, we actually have a baby now.

It's a Christmas miracle.

You mean, you conspiring with our mothers
to reveal our baby's gender is a miracle?

And how long are you gonna
hold that against me for?

-Hmm. Until these stretch marks fade.
-Oh.

-[door opening]
-[Dineo in Tswana] Knock-knock.

[in English] Hi, Mom.

Okay.

Okay, I'm gonna leave you two.

[Dineo] Beauty...

Beauty.

As a mother, sometimes,

you have so much love

that it blinds you from seeing things.

Things like...

how trying to be like other people

can be hurtful to your own child.

So...

[in Tswana] Try to avoid that.

[in English] Was that an apology?

[in Tswana]
You weren't listening, were you?

[in English] Come sit.

-Isn't he cute?
-Cutie.

Ma.

[Dineo] Hmm?

I don't need you to be Valencia.

Heck, the world doesn't need
another Valencia.

I just need you to be you.

My mama.

[Dineo sighs softly]

[in Tswana] Thank you.

[both laugh]

My baby.

-[in Zulu] Hey, where's granny?
-[laughs][/i]

Where's granny?

[siren sounding]

-[gasps] sh*t!
-[hip-hop music playing on radio]

sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

Oh! f*ck!

[exhales, sniffs]

[switches off music]

[in Tswana] I don't know what I did,
but I can send you an eWallet.

Excuse me, lady.

Get out of the car.

[in English] Or maybe...

[in Tswana] ...we can start
the conversation again, then...

Or maybe Zama could
just get out of the car.

[in English] Yeah?

[in Tswana] How do you know my name?

[gasps] Oh!

You follow me on Instagram
and want a selfie?

My eyes are red.

And it's not that I've smoked weed.
It's just that I've been crying...

-[in English] Stop talking.
-Sir, I know you said that...

[in Tswana] ...this is a family emergency,
but this one needs the handcuffs.

[in English] One!
Soliciting an officer of the law.

Two!

Suspicion of possession of narcotics.

[in Tswana] Thirdly...

[sniffs] ...her attitude stinks.

[in English] Officer Majozi, please,

by the powers vested in me,
please stand down.

One day.

It's one day.

[in Tswana] So you're here to insult me?

-Er...
-Uh...

[in Zulu] Zama, listen...

[in English] Your mother,
my husband, and I...

[in Zulu] ...had an agreement
that we were gonna cut ties

but still support you financially.

[in English] We made a mistake.

[in Zulu] But now, we are really sorry.

[in Tswana] You made it very clear
that you don't want me around.

So I don't want you or your money.

-Um...
-But...

[in Tswana and Zulu]
But you need family, right?

Yes, you need family.

[in English] Yeah, look, I know
that I didn't do enough.

I know that.

But I'd like to try.

Starting now.

I-if you'll let me.

Please, can...

can you spend Christmas with us?

-Christmas?
-[Vusi] Yes.

[in Tswana] My mom loved Christmas.

She was the queen of cooking seven colors,
big tree, lots of presents.

It was you.

[in English] Every year.

Low-key blesser.

[sighs] I... I... I did the best that I could.

And like I said, I know it wasn't enough.

But I don't want our relationship
to be just a business deal.

So...

what do you say?

Look, you've come all this way.

You're not just going to give up
like that, are you?

I mean, Twalas don't give up, right?

And you're a Twala.

-[Jean kisses]
-[Grace giggles]

Did you know there's actually a big six,
not only a big five?

Oh, really?

And what's the sixth animal?

Lead me to your chalet, and I'll show you.

[laughs] Hey.

-Nice.
-Hmm. [giggles]

Don't mind if I do.

Huh?

What?

I have to see a man about a sheep.

Sorry.

But what about this man?

And his big six.

[in Afrikaans] I'm sorry.

[sighs]

Stupid sheep.

[tender music playing]

[in Tswana] Brother...

Do you think that those animals

thought Succulent tasted good?

Grace, what are you asking me?

Your boyfriend is the lion whisperer.

Ask him to ask his lions
what Succulent tasted like.

[in English] And besides...

[in Tswana] I didn't call him Succulent
for nothing.

[crying]

[Grace] Here you go, brother.

Succulent is now my ancestor.

[crying]

-[Dineo screams]
-[Valencia screams]

-Valencia!
-[in Zulu] Dineo, why are you screaming?

Um, I'm here to say

let's cook Christmas lunch.

[in English]
Don't you have staff for a reason?

[in Zulu] I didn't think that you'd want
to eat other people's food.

Every year you bring your own food.

[in English] Your mutton curry, um...

[in Zulu] Yeah, it's really good.

[in Tswana] Whose house
did you burn down now?

[in English] Dineo,
we owe these kids a proper Christmas.

So, let's just cook food.

[in Zulu] Food that's delicious, you know?
[in English] Seven colors.

And trifle?

If you insist.

[in Tswana] Let me get my apron.

[in Zulu] You brought your own apron?

[in Tswana] It's as if
you don't know me at all.

[Valencia laughs]

[in English] Okay.

["These Streets" by Mi Casa playing]

♪ These streets, that we live upon ♪

♪ These streets, that we walk upon ♪

♪ These streets, that we live upon... ♪

[Lydia and Themba talking
in baby talk, laughing]

Themba.

Zamalicious.

Well, look at you two playing nice.

[in Zulu] Let's not make this awkward.

[in English] Please.

-[Sbu in Zulu] Hello, everyone.
-Oh.

-Hey!
-How are you?

Lion of Judah's father.

-That's me.
-[all laugh]

How are you?

[in English] Careful.

[in Zulu] Say hello to the little one.
Don't squish his head.

-[Sbu] Let's go.
-[all overlapping]

[in English] Zama the Konka queen
is long-lost sister.

That sounds like a Sunday World headline.[/i]

-Baby.
-It does.

[in Tswana] The last few days felt like
a really bad episode of Khumbul'ekhaya.[/i]

You know?

-Mm-hmm.
-[in English] Sure.

Word to the wise. Uh...

Run.

-Uh-huh.
-[in Zulu] Run as fast as you can.

[in English] If I told you
what was happening the last two years,

you'd call me a liar.

And then, what's worse than the sh*t...
[in Tswana] ...that's been happening?

[in English] Try cancelled weddings,
a swindler dad...

-Swindler dad.
-And stolen bodies.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We're going to have to open the throats...

[in Tswana] ...before having
this conversation.

[in English] I'm all about
opening throats.

All about opening throats.
I'm trying to get that throat open.

-[Zama in Afrikaans] Please stop.
-[Themba and Lydia] Hey!

[all laughing]

[in Tswana] You know,
my mother loved seven colors.

But your mother tried.

[in English] The fact that they did this
together is the Christmas miracle. Mm-hmm.

Eh, baby? Christmas miracle.

Yes.

-Dad?
-Yeah?

[Themba in Zulu] May I please...

Dad, I just wanted to say I'm sorry
for the way I behaved earlier when I said...

[in English] ..."Shut up, chief!"

[in Zulu] The way I spoke to you...
It's just the whole Zama thing,

it's like being told
that Father Christmas is not real.

If you can mess up, what chance do I have?

[in English] Themba, don't worry about it.
Listen, you must look at your life.

You've been sober for the past two years.

You have fought for your family,
and look how you're fighting for mine.

Hmm? I'm very proud of you, boy.

Thanks, Dad.

And about your strategy,
your plan, you know?

[in Zulu] Forget about that.
We'll look at it next year.

[in English] No, let's do
a strategy session tomorrow, okay?

Yeah.

[Valencia in Zulu] Right.
The food is going to get cold. Let's eat.

Huh-uh!

[Grace] Shadrack.

[in Tswana] Family...

Before we eat, we pray first.

Please close your eyes.

Shadrack, take off your hat.

[whimsical music playing]

My brother, what happened to your hair?

[hesitates]

I've... [ahem] I've lost someone.

[in English] I'm mourning for Succulent.

So I had to shear my hair.

[in Tswana] I was going
to pour one out for my ancestor.

-[Dineo] Let's pray.
-[Shadrack] Okay, fine.

Close your eyes.

Our faithful Father,

bless the hands that spent all night

preparing this food
that we're about to eat.

Prepare the hands of those
who will be washing the dishes.

-[in English] Amen.
-[all] Amen.

[in Tswana] I'm not done.

Take off your hat.

We are grateful for the gift
of having family...

[in English] ...in all forms.

[in Tswana] Thank you for the new life

that has brought us together.

The memories of the people

who are no longer with us,

but are in our hearts

and are with us in spirit.

When the floods and fires

thr*aten to destroy what we've built,

may we take comfort
in knowing that as a family

our hearts are united.

Whether it's through marriage,

blood, or circumstance.

But God,

if we remain united,
nothing can tear us apart.

-[in English] Amen.
-[all] Amen.

[in Tswana] Even though
this family is a mess,

but dear God,

I'm glad to be a part of it.

Thank you.

-[in English] Amen.
-[all] Amen.

-[clapping]
-Thank you, Mom.

Okay.

[Siya in Zulu] Okay,
I see things clearly now.

What?

Mom sent me a sign.

She says you all need me.

So I've decided I'm moving
to Joburg to be close to you all.

Yeah, I'm staying with you, brother,
until I find my own place.

Yeah, and then,
we're going to Konka every day.

And you're going to introduce me
to your parliament friends.

[in English] I've got
very good business ideas. You see?

-No, no, no, no. Uh-huh.
-[clinking glass]

Please, may I have the floor?

-[sighs]
-[shushes]

[in Tswana] This family likes to talk.

-[in English] A minute, comrade, please.
-[clinks glass]

Yes.

Uh, Dineo.

[in Tswana] Yes?

[in English] On behalf
of the Twala family,

we would like to allocate some funds

towards the reinstatement
of the Sello household.

-Hallelujah, God is good.
-[clapping]

-[in Tswana] What did he say?
-Money.

[all overlapping]

[in Zulu] Where we are right now...

[in English] ...KwaTwalasberg,
as you can see, this lovely lodge,

this is a legacy for all my children.

Hmm. Girl, looks like
you have the bag now.

To that, I say to everybody,

Merry Christmas!

[all] Merry Christmas!

[in Tswana] I'd like to say happy birthday

to the newest member of the family,
Prince Twala!

-[all cheer]
-[in English] Happy birthday!

[all cheering and laughing]

[Sbu] Oh, yes, yes, yes. Also...

And a happy anniversary
to the love of my life.

Oh, baby.

-I love you so much.
-I love you.

-[ululating]
-[Sbu and Beauty kissing]

[in Tswana] Can we please eat already?

[in English] Cheers. Merry Christmas.

-[all] Merry Christmas.
-[Vusi] And to Succulent.

[gentle music playing]

Uh... Ow!

-[Grace chuckles]
-[laughs]

[in Afrikaans] It's quite nice.

[in Tswana] Ah! Finally,
the thirst has been quenched.

Oh, yeah. Letswai, letswai, letswai.[/i]

-[in English] Wait. I have to get back.
-No, no.

-No, no, no, no.
-You're not going anywhere.

-[Dineo] Grace!
-Shh!

-[in Afrikaans] What?
-[shushes]

[Dineo] Gracie!

[in English] Check my hair.

[in Tswana] What are you doing here?
Who's this?

Shadrack said it, "fornication."

The insurance people called.
Go find Shadrack.

[in English] We need to talk.
[in Tswana] Right now.

Yes, sister.

-[in English] I really do have to go. Ah!
-Ooh!

I'm gonna be...

Ooh!

-[Dineo] Grace!
-[Grace in Tswana] Sister!

[in English] Best Christmas ever!

-[in Tswana] Where are we going?
-No, stand here.

The insurance people called.

They said someone
taped up the main switch.

It was that electrical problem
that started the fire.

-Grace said I mustn't tell the truth.
-Brother!

Huh?

Let's focus on who did wrong here,

and not who tried
to help them cover it up.

[inhales]

Technically, Valencia also started a fire.

It's fine. In John, chapter one,

the verse says God gives,

and God takes.

In saying that,

if He has given me the gift
of a wealthy family in the Twalas...

[in English] ...whomst are we...
[in Tswana] ...to say no to God?

Hmm?

[both in English] "Whomst are we?"

[singing hymn]

[both singing]

[Dineo and Grace singing]

[Dineo] You can't sing, Grace.

[in Zulu] Everyone in South Africa
knows what a kota is.[/i]

What's the main ingredient in kota?[/i]

[in English] French.

[upbeat music playing]

[Siya in Zulu] You must talk
to the Minister of Home Affairs.

Yes, we call it French polony,
and it's eaten with a kota.[/i]

You can even eat it with mash.

Even on a toothpick with cheese.

[in English] Cocktail...

[in Zulu] You must be enterprising.

-[turns off music]
-Uh...

[in English] Can I please get
everybody's attention?

May I have the floor, please?

[in Afrikaans] Gosh!
[in English] More speeches.

Some of you may look around
at this fertile land,

at this prosperous family,

at the abundance of wealth,

and you may think that

I've done it all on my own.

That is inaccurate.

I would not have done it all

without her.

Val...

[in Zulu] I'm like this

because of you.

[in English] Please, my darling,
won't you join me?

[in Tswana] Vally, they're calling you.

[sentimental music playing]

[Vusi in English] Ah,
look how beautiful my wife is.

Val...

What is V without V?

What would I be without you?

My love.

I want to reaffirm

that promise that I made to you

all those years ago.

My darling...

please,

will you marry me again?

[giggling] Yes.

[all cheering, ululating]

[Shadrack] I'm confused.

[cheering continues]

[all laughing]

I mean, Valencia as a bride?

[groans] God help us all.

Nah.

[both laugh]

["Nkao Tempela" by Ch'cco
featuring Mellow & Sleazy playing]

♪ Found me steady chillin' ♪

♪ Don't make me go loco ♪

♪ Don't you test my patience
My mind is not sane ♪

♪ I'm beyond insane ♪

[song continues]