03x01 - Strange Games

[bunniefuu]

Why don't we take off this
weekend, head down the coast?

[CHUCKLES] What?

You always say this city has
everything you could ever want.

It does.

But, you know, if you'd
rather score points

than spend the weekend with me,

I'll post the offer on the
embassy noticeboard. [CHUCKLES]

No. [CHUCKLING] No, I'll come.

Of course I'll come.

- Mmm. [CHUCKLES]
- Mmm. Mmm.

[GROANS] I need to shower
and finish making the hummus.

This is Istanbul. You can
buy pretty good hummus.

I'm immersing myself in the cuisine.

[DOOR OPENS]

What are you doing?

- Oh, I was just looking...
- For what?

Something of yours?

Why would that be on my desk?

What are you looking for?

A sensitive file they
think you're about to leak.

Um... [BREATHES SHAKILY]

Okay. Um, what's supposed
to be in this file?

I wasn't told. Just the name.

"Footprint."

And you didn't ask any questions?
Just went along with it?

You make a terrible spy, by the way.

This isn't easy for me.

No? Seems it.

Come around here and f*ck
me, then go through my stuff.

Pretty sweet assignment.

I couldn't turn them down.
They don't know about us.

Alison. Ali. No, wait!

- [SNIFFS]
- Al.

Did you find it?

You know I had to look.

Thought you cared about me.

I do.

- I really do.
- Get the f*ck out.

Please let me make this right.

Now. [SNIFFS]

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

It's me. We need to bring it forward.

Heading there now. [SNIFFLES]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING IN DISTANCE]

[IN TURKISH] To Kadiköy.

Yes, ma'am.

Follow that boat.

Let's turn right in front of the tanker.

I can't get that close.

more if you lose the boat behind.

- Cut across the tanker now!
- No way!

- [CHATTERING, CHEERING, LAUGHING]
- [MUSIC PLAYING]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

[GRUNTS]

[CAR HORNS HONKING]

[HONKING CONTINUES]

[IN ENGLISH] Hey!

[PEOPLE SHOUTING]

Oh, f*ck!

- [HORN HONKS]
- [CRASH]

[DRIVERS SHOUTING, SPEAKING TURKISH]

- [TIRES SQUEAL]
- [HONKS HONKING]

Damn.

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

[ALISON] Get it out
there into the world.

[GASPS]

[PANTING]

[TIRES SQUEALING]

No! Ali, stop! Wait! What?

Ali!

[BREATHES HEAVILY] Alison!

Ali, where are you?

Ali! [BREATHES HEAVILY]

[SCREAMS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY] Where are you?

[GROANS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[BREATHING SHAKILY]

["STRANGE GAME" PLAYING]

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

[BREATHING HEAVILY] River!

They need that last box.

- Got it.
- Have you checked it?

Yep.

It doesn't look like it.

It's still got the old tape.

Yeah, well, I stuck it
down again. I'm being green.

Did you itemize it?

What does it matter? No one's
gonna read this stuff ever again.

Yes, but we're still
supposed to itemize it.

[RIVER] It's pointless.

These files are all Ringo-level,
the lowest-grade record the Park has.

[BREATHES HEAVILY] Shows
you what they think of us.

They'll think a lot less of us

if we can't even do
this simple job properly.

Catherine, this is the
equivalent of filling

a storage unit full of crap

for your kids to sort
through once you've d*ed.

We've been asked to do it,
so we should do it well.

You need to get back up
those stairs and itemize it.

No, not happening. And
plus, the van needs to go.

[CATHERINE] I'd rather
the box went tomorrow,

when you've been through the contents.

Nope.

[STRAINS] This isn't
even taped up properly.

- [GROANS]
- It's fine. Just forget it.

- [ENGINE STARTING]
- Whoa. Wait, w-w-wait, wait!

- [GROANS] Oh, God.
- Jesus! Wait! [GRUNTS]

[SIGHS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

River?

[RIVER] Yeah, I'm just
getting another box.

[BREATHES HEAVILY, SIGHS]

[GROANS]

[PERSON SNORING]

[FLATULENCE]

I'm, uh, sorry to have to do
this, but should he be in here?

- Who?
- Well, the... the homeless man.

Homeless man?

He has an appointment.

He's making, uh...
[STAMMERS, WHISPERS] Odors.

[NORMAL] It's upsetting my wife.

There's not much I can
do about that, I'm afraid.

Oh.

[GRUNTS, EXHALES SHARPLY]

It's my colon. Terminal.

There's no need for that, Jackson.

You know, perks of the job.

- Has it really been a year?
- It has.

[GROANS] My, uh... My balls
are hanging a bit lower.

But apart from that, all good.

- How's the drinking?
- Fine, thanks.

No. I mean, how much are you drinking?

Oh, I don't know. Uh, two
or three bottles a week.

- Wine?
- Uh, whiskey.

[SIGHS] I thought we talked about this.

Oh, it doesn't affect my work.

And besides, I've got f*ck all to do,

which is well within my comfort zone.

This is a Service medical.

There's a limit to the amount
of units you can consume a week.

- [INHALES DEEPLY] Uh, w-what's the limit?
- Fourteen.

- Put that then.
- I'm not allowed to lie.

Y-You're not lying. I am.
I told you . Put-put that.

- Smoking?
- I quit.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I haven't had one for...
Ooh! Twenty-seven minutes.

By some miracle, your
blood tests came back okay.

There you go. You see,
I'm a f*cking titan.

I'll just take your blood pressure.

Then we'll get you on the treadmill.

[CHUCKLES] If you-you...

you put me on a treadmill... [CHUCKLING]

... you'll be done for manslaughter.

You need to do some light exercise,

an hour's walk a day,
and watch what you eat.

[INHALES SHARPLY] I think the time
has passed for that, don't you?

Dodgy vindaloo and some steep
steps should finish me off.

Can't think of a better way to go.

I'll, uh... I'll finish
that box in the morning.

- And do the others properly?
- Yeah.

Maybe you should try embracing
the task rather than fighting it.

Embracing it might
be a bit of a stretch,

but you know, I'll just, um...

You know, it's quite tiring,

- having to chivy you along like this.
- Well, then don't.

Stop being such a martyr about it.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Wait. Catherine, I didn't mean that.

Ooh. Sorry.

No, you're fine!

[SIGHS]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

[GROUP LEADER] At this
point in the meeting,

we ask if there's any
newcomers who'd like to share.

- My name's John.
- [ALL] Hello, John.

[JOHN] Still an alcoholic.

Still a newcomer.

Still only counting days.

Keep waiting for the next day to be
easier than the last... [CHUCKLES]

... but, um... [CLICKS TONGUE]

... I don't expect
that's going to happen.

[ALL] Keep coming back.

[GROUP LEADER] Are there any other
newcomers who would like to speak?

[SINGH] Evening, ma'am.

Your car is waiting to take you to
the off-site file storage facility.

I'm going to the agency meeting.

I've been told there's been a
slight change to your schedule.

By whom?

[SCOFFS]

Lamb doner please, mate.

Regular or large?

Uh... [HUFFS] ... large.

No, make it two regulars.

- Fourteen pounds.
- Fourteen. [SIGHS]

Chili sauce for the kebabs?

Yeah. E-Enough so I
can't taste the meat.

[PATRON] Three doners, mate.

- And some beers.
- No beers.

[PATRON SIGHS] I'll go grab
some beers from the offie, yeah?

Uh... I'll be outside.

- It is Catherine, right?
- Yes.

Do you have a moment? I just
wanted to ask some advice.

- From me?
- Yeah.

N-No worries if not.
[STAMMERS] It's just,

when I was talking away in there,

it seemed like you
were really listening.

Thank you. I try to. [CHUCKLES]

What was it you wanted to ask?

Well, um, I think it's
probably time I got a sponsor.

[CASHIER] Cheers.

Thank you for giving me your time.
It's not the friendliest city.

It's changed a lot
since I was last here.

When was that?

Ten years or so.

And what brought you back?

I...

I lost someone.

Couldn't stay where I was.

Memories, you know?

- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry I was...
- No, it's fine.

Hey, I could have lied,
saved you the awkwardness,

but, um, the drinking
started when they d*ed.

I blamed myself, internalized it...
[INHALES DEEPLY]

... and part of my recovery has
been about being open about it.

You know, dealing with
it, not burying it.

You can push things away,

but sooner or later, you
have to deal with them.

Hmm. And secrets will always come out.

- There will always be a reckoning.
- [DOOR OPENS]

[BARISTA] Decaf latte and
an extra-strong cappuccino

with extra chocolate.

I think I'll get mine to take away.

[JOHN] What? No. I'm really
enjoying talking to you.

- I have an early start tomorrow.
- Oh, come on. You can't leave.

We haven't talked about what
we came here to talk about.

Oh, yes. A sponsor.

No. Jackson Lamb.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Excuse me.

Sorry. I'm lost.

[STAMMERS] Could you show me
the way to the North Circular?

Um, I'm headed that way. If you
give me a lift, I can direct you.

You're headed somewhere else.

- [SCREAMING, GRUNTING]
- [JOHN GRUNTING]

[MUFFLED SHOUTING]

[TIRES SQUEALING]

[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE]

[CAR HORN HONKS]

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

[SIGHS]

Stay the f*ck back.

Madam.

Second Desk in the house.

[CHUCKLES] Outside the
house... Not a house.

Uh, a series of decommissioned
bunkers from the Cold w*r.

If a b*mb dropped,
this is where the Queen

and the government
would have hidden out.

Yes, I know. I decommissioned it.

And recommissioned it as a
document storage facility.

Thank you, my creator.

- I see you'd like the tour.
- Well, that's why I'm here.

"Step into my parlor," said the
spider to the fly. [CHUCKLES]

I-It's not a parlor. I'm not a
spider. I'm Douglas. You're not a fly.

Can you just think before you
speak, then perhaps not speak?

Message received and understood.

But not yet applied.

[SIGHS]

You look like you could use company.

And you've been here for minutes now,

and you haven't once checked the door.

You don't wanna talk?

Fine.

I'll just sit here and enjoy the view.

I'm in futures, by the way. Don't
worry, I'm not a fortune teller.

Although you have just
met a handsome stranger.

Futures is a... a derivative
contract to buy or sell a commodity

at a later point in time. I'm
kind of a commodity of a...

Jesus Christ, I'm gonna
have two glasses of wine,

which I will pay for myself,

and if you're still here when I'm
done, you can come home with me.

- But in the meantime...
- [STAMMERS]

... please just shut the f*ck up.

- Yeah.
- [SHUSHES]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

[MARCUS SIGHS]

- You got minutes.
- Look, I've got a problem.

Yeah, so have I.

I was heading out to get off my
face and pick up a stray f*ck.

I'm being blackmailed.

- [SIGHS] Over a debt?
- No.

What then?

Over the fact that I'm gambling again.

- They know you're Service?
- Yeah.

- So you're compromised?
- Mmm.

Who by?

Jesus. FSB? North Korean?

Or is it organized crime?

What's up, Ho-bros?

Ho-bros. You're my bros,
but you're also hoboes.

[MARCUS] You're gonna
want a drink for this.

Wha... Ho's the one blackmailing you?

[GRUNTS] It's not blackmail.

I asked him for a
simple favor. He refused.

So I applied a little gentle pressure

to set him on the path of righteousness.

You are such a piece of sh*t, Ho.

- You threatened to get him thrown out?
- They can't throw me out for gambling.

It's a... It's an addiction, so,
you know, mental health issue.

Well, so who was he gonna tell?

His missus.

He promised her he'd stop
gambling, but someone has

- a naughty online poker habit.
- Shut up.

[STAMMERS] What has
this got to do with me?

[SCOFFS] Did he not tell you?

The price of my silence
was for him to deliver you.

- But I'm not his to deliver.
- Look, I'll get you a drink, all right?

I'll get the f*cking
drinks with your money.

Give me a Jack Daniel's and Coke.

As you can see, we have ample storage
for George and Ringo-level files,

the Paul and John-level
still stored at the Park.

Now, I find the nomenclature
just a little harsh.

Big George Harrison fan.

I went through a bit of a
transcendental phase myself, actually,

which did result in a minor breakdown,

but... [EXHALES SHARPLY]
... here I am. [CHUCKLES]

Molly Doran asked me to double-check
that shelf arrived safely.

It was a last-minute
addition, apparently.

Molly Doran asked a question of
me? [CHUCKLES] She is a legend.

The queen of filing. My secret crush.

Well, next time, I'll
bring a signed photograph.

What should I tell her?

That it has indeed arrived safely,

and it is resting on my
sweet bosom. [CHUCKLES]

Just figuratively.

It is up here. You can
view it, if you like.

No need. How do I get out?

It is actually quicker to finish the
tour than go back the way we came.

Oh, just point me to the nearest exit.

- [MUSIC PLAYING]
- [PEOPLE CHATTERING]

- [CLICKS TONGUE] What do you want from me?
- Louisa.

- You think she's got the diamond?
- What?

diamonds spilled out over the
roof when Louisa nearly got sh*t.

They only recovered .

Duffy's obsessed with finding it.

Otherwise, his Dogs
stay under suspicion.

- Yeah, you've got it.
- No, I haven't.

Well, not anymore.
You'll have gambled it.

I didn't take it.

The only other person up there
was Catherine. No way was it her.

Well, if this isn't about
Louisa having the diamond,

then what is it about?

Oh, my God.

Hottest girl in the office
should be with the hottest boy.

But it ain't happening.

[GASPS] Is that why you dyed your hair?

What? No. She dyed hers to copy me.

She's sending out the Bat-Signal
but treating me like the Joker.

Mmm.

You really can't work out why
this isn't happening yourself?

Obviously she's still hung up on Harper.

But he was k*lled,
cremated and scattered.

She... Look, she needs to move
on. You need to set her straight.

She's on the downslopes as it is.

It breaks my heart to watch good fruit

- rotting on the branch.
- Jesus.

- [SHIRLEY GRUNTS]
- [ONLOOKERS GASPING]

[GLASSWARE CLATTERS]

- [SHIRLEY SIGHS]
- [ONLOOKER LAUGHS]

That is what you should
have done in the first place.

Get me another drink.

I'll get you drinks
for life. [CHUCKLING]

Mmm. Cookies and cream. My favorite.

[CLICKS TONGUE] Must be a sign.

You just help yourself to
people's ice cream, do you?

Excuse me?

- Put the ice cream back.
- I'll buy you some more.

I can buy my own ice
cream, thank you very mu...

You know what? Get out.

f*ck off now.

- f*cking weird.
- And you're a sh*t f*ck.

[LOUISA'S PICKUP SIGHS]

[BREATHES SHAKILY]

[SIGHS]

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

[SIGHING]

f*ck's sake.

[SIGHS]

Standish! Soap!

Standish!

Ah.

- Good morning.
- Morning.

How long have you been here?

[SIGHS]

About an hour.

Why?

Trying to make it up to Catherine,

'cause I think I really managed
to piss her off yesterday.

Oh, yeah? What does
pissed-off Catherine look like?

Exactly the same, which makes it worse.

She'll be fine.

I told her to stop being such a martyr.

[CHUCKLES] Okay. Then she won't be fine.

Right. Why?

Because she keeps this
place going. She is selfless.

And you basically
implied that she did it

to take the moral high ground.

Well, no, I didn't mean it like
that. It was an offhand kind of thing.

[DISHES CLATTERING]

Offhand? Even worse.

This isn't making me
feel better, by the way.

- What are you looking at?
- Lamb.

Looks like he's trying to
make a cup of something.

[CLATTERING CONTINUES]

I didn't know he knew how to do that.

If he's doing anything for
himself, something's up.

Well, let's film it then.

[WHISPERS] Oh, he might
end up burning himself.

Everything okay?

Go see if she went to her AA meeting.

- Who?
- Catherine.

Oh, it's good to know all those
late nights and meaningless sex

haven't dulled your senses.

Go see if Standish is
stuck under her duvet.

Is that her key?

Of course it's her f*cking key.
Why would he give us a random key?

She's sharp, that one.

- [RIVER] Do you want me to come with you?
- No, thanks. I don't need babysitting.

Didn't mean that like that either.

Wait. What... What do you
think has happened to Catherine?

Maybe she fell off the wagon or ran
away to start a donkey sanctuary.

All I know is she's not here.

- [JACKSON GRUNTS]
- Well... [CLEARS THROAT] ... last night...

[SIGHS] What?

No, it's probably nothing.
Maybe she's just late.

[SIGHS] She's never late.

And if she was, she'd ring.

But she can't, 'cause her mobile is off.

Okay. Well, then her battery ran out

or she, you know, got stuck on the Tube.

[SIGHS] No, she doesn't get the Tube.

And her phone doesn't run out.

And you're only making
these dumb suggestions

because you don't want to admit
that you might've f*cked up.

So why don't you just
tell me what happened,

and I'll decide how much I hurt you?

Last night, I said goodbye
to her on the street.

And then this guy bumped into
me, heading in her direction.

[BREATHES HEAVILY] Age and description.

Late s, Black, athletic.

I really didn't get that
good a look at the guy.

He probably wasn't even following her.

But you didn't think of...
[BREATHES HEAVILY]

... hanging around to find out?

I guess I was thinking, why
would anyone be following her?

Huh.

[RIVER SIGHS]

- [VIDEO GAME BEEPING]
- Ho.

Ho!

Check the hospital. See if
Standish has been admitted.

- What?
- [STAMMERS] You heard me.

- What do you want me to do?
- [SIGHS] Quit.

No, seriously.

No, seriously, I want you
to quit. You're sh*t at this.

But failing that, get
these files sorted.

This place is a f*cking mess.

[MARCUS] Catherine's not
here. She is not at work.

She'll either show up or she won't.
There's nothing much we can do.

Well, she might be here.

She might've d*ed in her sleep.

She could be slipping away as we speak.

She could've drowned in
the bath, choked on a grape.

Or her neighbor is a m*rder*r,
putting her through a meat grinder.

[INHALES SHARPLY] I think
you've got more in common

with Ho than you realize.

Ugh, f*ck's sake. There's a second lock.

[MARCUS] 'Course there's a second
lock. She probably got it fitted

when she realized Lamb knew
where she hid her spare.

Right. That's that then.

We'll have to come back with
a warrant and a locksmith,

not that we'll find
anything in there anyways.

[SHIRLEY GRUNTS]

What the... [SIGHS]

She didn't pick up yesterday's
post. Don't think she came home.

- You just broke in.
- [SIGHS] Lamb will be cool with it.

[MARCUS] Yeah. Well, I'm not.
Could be arrested for this. Geez.

No, we can't. We're MI .

This is exactly how I imagined her flat.

Yeah? How do you imagine Ho's?

Human skulls, stolen underwear,

pictures of Louisa
with her eyes cut out.

[MARCUS GROANS]

The dress she had on yesterday
hasn't been put for washing,

but the one from the day before has.

Better call Lamb.

So you don't know if
he's a regular or not?

- I don't know him.
- [LOUISA] Mm-hmm.

But you're sure you saw them
heading to the café together?

[PATRONS CHATTERING]

Heya. Can I get a black
Americano, please? To go.

- Sure. That's . .
- How much?

It'll be at the end of the counter.

Did the coffee beans fly in
first class? Absolute thieves.

- Where are your loos?
- [BARISTA] Uh, through the door out back.

[LOCK JANGLES]

[DOOR UNLOCKS]

[CATHERINE CLEARS THROAT]

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Chair.

Let's get this over with. Eyes front.

- [GASPS, GRUNTS]
- Let's make this quick.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

Sit still.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

Up. Up!

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[STAMMERS] Yesterday... [BREATHES HEAVILY]
... when I was waiting,

do you remember the other patients?

I'm not allowed to talk about the
other patients. Confidentiality.

[STAMMERS] The guy was sitting
in the corner, filling in a form.

But I'm guessing he didn't hand it in.

And if he didn't hand it
in, then he's not a patient.

I can speak slower if you like.

All I want to know is, did he
leave when I went in with Dr. Daley?

[WHISPERS] It was around then.

[CELL PHONE BUZZING]

- Yep?
- I think she's been abducted.

Yeah. They had people watching me
in case she pulled the alarm cord.

Why were they watching you?

Because I'm really f*cking good.

The caretaker at AA said
she headed to a café

with a man after the meeting.

But I reckon something
must have spooked her

'cause I found her
hairpin in the road behind.

You get a description of him?

Black, s, fit.

Yeah, it sounds like
the guy Cartwright saw

tailing her from Slough House. CCTV?

Cable's cut in the
alley behind the café.

They must have driven her out that
way to snatch her in a vehicle.

All right. Well... Well,
check her route again.

I would be amazed if you
hadn't missed something.

Why would anyone want to take Catherine?

[SIGHS] Maybe they got a death wish.

[CELL PHONE BUZZES]

Oh, Catherine's messaged.

[RODDY] What did she say?

Thank God. [SNIFFS]

sh*t.

- Catherine?
- [JOHN] Tell anyone, she dies.

Barbican Bridge. One
minute, or she dies.

["STRANGE GAME" PLAYING]