01x04 - Under the Big Three

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪ ♪

[ASHER] They forgot the
chicken in the chicken penne.

What was the dinner that
you took the chicken from?

Chicken spaghetti.

You think that girl could have been

- going through our trash?
- What?

- Hi, Vic.
- Home sweet home.

[DOUGIE] Right here, pause it. Pause it.

Look at how uncomfortable he is.

I thought about going back to New York,

but there's nothing
for me there, anyways.

I'm just not any good when
I'm not working, you know.

Hola, Fernando.

We were thinking because the stores

are closed right now, we
might need some security.

Wait. What... what
did they just laugh at?

Fernando f*cking up a
latte. It's the only laugh.

[ASHER] Our entire livelihood
is based on the fact

that you said they're probably
gonna pick up the series.

Yeah, I know. But that
was before I saw this.

He wasn't funny at all.

Well, this is wack.

[PHONE VIBRATING, RINGING]

[RINGING STOPS]

[PHONE VIBRATING, RINGING]

[GRUNTING]

Good morning, Martha!

[MARTHA] Well, you're a
hard guy to get ahold of.

Uh, yeah. I'm sorry about that.

I was just trying to find
the phone. That's all.

[MARTHA] Well, you did it, Dougie.

You did it.

I did.

I did, didn't I?

So, David finally got
his eyes on the show

and, um, he loves it.

We're officially ordering

ten episodes of Fliplanthropy...

- Well, that's...
- [MARTHA] ... for HGTV Go!

That is such great news, Martha.

- And I know you're not gonna...
- [PHONE BEEPS]

f*ck!

Come on.

What the f*ck?

Come on.

f*ck!

[GRUNTS]

♪ ♪ ♪

Yo.

Yo.

m*therf*cker.

Under the big tree.

The big tree, I don't know what the f*ck

that means, but...

All right. Let's try you.

Okay.

Nope.

Let's see.

All right.

Number two.

Second time is the charm,
or so they say, right?

[SOFT CHUCKLE] There it is.

All right.

[YELLS] Jesus Christ!

Get out of here!

Get the f*ck out of here, all right?

Go.

Come on.

Let me take this, move this here.

All right.

You stay.

This place is f*cking disgusting.

All right.

Under the big tree, right?

Under.

All right, let's go.

How deep? How deep? There is deep.

♪ ♪ ♪

Come on.

Really?

Come on. Nothing?

[EXHALES]

Come on.

Come on, Dougie.

Come on.

Think.

Big tree. Big tree.

Big tree.

[SOFT CHUCKLE]

No f*cking way.

[LAUGHS]

Of course. Dougie, there's a reason

you're a f*cking genius, right?

[CHUCKLES]

This is good.

This is all very good.

All right.

Under.

[CAR HORN BLARES]

It's me.

[CAR LOCK CHIRPS]

[CAR HORN BLARES]

Okay.

Let's see.

Kalvin, 8:30.

Wyatt, 8:45.

Kalvin and Wyatt.

♪ ♪ ♪

- Synced and corrected by [font color="#329c57"]naFraC[/font] -
- www.addic7ed.com -

[MARTHA] You guys just
have such a thoughtful take

on eco-friendly homes and integrating

your buyers into the communit.

We have nothing like this.

I mean, we're just so excited
to be working with you.

You... you have believed
in us from the very start.

And we could not be more excited
to be in business with you.

I... I'm sorry. You
should see Asher right now.

He is literally pretending
to play a guitar.

- [LAUGHS]
- [MARTHA] We love that.

I hope to see more of it on the show.

Oh. You'll see more of a lot of stuff.

All G-rated, of course.

[MARTHA CHUCKLES] I would hope so.

And as we move forward
thinking about the season,

maybe also we aren't focusing so much

on the people who lived
in the homes before.

We love Fernando and
his mother, so sweet.

And we think it might
be more digestible

and exciting to portray them as people

you're... you're
helping in the community

without pointing out
they've been displaced

by your development or,
or development in general.

But... but we don't need
to get into the weeds

with that stuff right now.

It's not something our
viewers wanna engage with.

So, we're excited about that.

That is so exciting.

- That's so exciting.
- [MARTHA] Mm-hmm.

Wow, I can't believe
this is happening to me.

This is... Oh.

[MARTHA] We'll set a
Zoom with the whole team

to talk more, but we wanted
to give you the headline.

So, congratulations.

Oh. Thank you so much, Martha.

- This is... this is really big.
- [PHONE BEEPS]

Spank you.

Spank you very much.

[PHONE BEEPS]

Hello. So... sorry. Hello? Hello?

- [MARTHA] Hello.
- Hi. Sorry.

I think you cut out
for a second. I'm sorry.

Just thank you... thank you so much.

And, um, we will

work on Asher's air guitar for the show.

[MARTHA] Fantastic. Congrats.

- Thank you.
- [MARTHA] Okay.

- Okay.
- [MARTHA] Bye-bye.

We'll talk to you soon. Bye.

Ugh.

Did you hear that stuff
that she was saying

- about the displaced residents?
- Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I thought people
really liked that stuff.

- Yeah, they did. Yeah.
- They responded to it.

But it's... it's... it's... Whatever.

- It's fine. It's fine.
- Yeah.

Right? Because it's not
gonna change what we do

in our real life, obviously.

Of course not, no.

- Okay.
- Yeah. Who gives a sh*t?

Honestly, like, not everything

has to be in the show, you know, like...

Right.

And I think just having a show

is bringing awareness to the area

on these issues, you know?

And maybe it's actually good

because then we can
really feature the homes

and we can, like, push
the environmental aspect

- which is...
- Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

- Well, how we started out.
- Yeah.

And the... and the community is still

gonna be a part of it, obviously.

- That's never gonna change, ever.
- No.

- Yeah. All right.
- You know,

I wonder if we should delay

listing Juniper Lane
until after the show airs.

I bet we could ask way more for it.

I'm gonna text Ed.

Um, I was talking... Oh, sorry.

- Are you in the middle... ?
- No.

Okay. I was just gonna say

I was... I was talking to Wendy,

um, and her brother, I
guess, did this corporate

comedy class or something and...

and she said that he
found it super beneficial.

- Oh, yeah?
- [WHITNEY] Yeah.

I was just thinking
maybe something like that

would be interesting for you

just so you could feel more confident

in front of the camera, you
know, just because you're...

you're so confident
and funny off camera.

Well, if I'm already so funny,

it's just a waste of money then, right?

Yeah.

I mean, but, you know, the focus group,

what they said and maybe... I know,

but I just... I just want
them to see what I see.

Are you gonna take the classes too?

[LAUGHS]

Maybe. Yeah.

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

Oh, my God.

Do you think that's a
gift from the network?

Go, go, go, go.

It has to be, but...

- [MARIA] Hi.
- Hi.

It's Maria, from two blocks over.

Oh, of course. Uh, Maria, hi.

It's Maria, Whit, from two blocks over.

- [MARIA] Hi.
- Good to see you. How are you?

Hi, Maria. How are you?

Good. Uh, I'm very sorry to bother you,

but I thought you
would like to know, um,

the young man who bought
your home on Montana Vista...

- Mm-hmm.
- ... is distributing these notes

to people on the block.

He's accusing us, uh,

all of the neighbors,
of stealing his packages.

[WHITNEY] What, uh...

"I wanna alert everyone

that there's a package
thief in the neighborhood.

This is the third time
it's happened to me.

If it's one of you
that's been doing this,

I understand it might
be an honest mistake.

And if it is returned, there
will be no hard feelings

or consequences.

Thank you. Your new neighbor, Victor."

I... I... I'm so sorry, Maria.

I will go talk to him immediately.

It's just that you assured
us that the people you brought

into this neighborhood would be
in harmony with the community.

- Yes.
- And those exact words.

And we don't know anything
about his packages.

[WHITNEY] Of course not.

We will handle this,
Maria. I... I promise you.

I'm so sorry this happened.

- Thank you again.
- [AUTOMATED WOMAN VOICE] Hi.

- You are currently being recorded.
- Have a good day.

It's nice to see you.

It's just the... the door.

We don't look at the footage from that.

Can you believe that?

- Are... are you gonna...
- Yes.

Are you gonna talk to him?

[WHITNEY] Of course.

I was thinking, um, you know,
once we close on Palmer Lane,

we're gonna have some extra cash.

I should probably pull the trigger

on that augmented reality guy, right?

It'd be amazing if he could
do a mockup of Loma Vista

that we could feature in the show.

Yeah. Do we... do we have
to talk about this now?

Sweetie, I can't find
my hat and I feel like...

- It's just that...
- ... it was in here somewhere.

It's just that our contact, you know...

- [WHITNEY] Oh.
- ... for him is through Vic.

And we're getting a significant
discount because of that.

- Mm-hmm.
- So, you know,

I don't know what you're
planning on saying to him,

but, you know, I just don't
wanna lose the discount.

Relax. I'm not gonna
punch him in the face.

There are tons of people
who do AR, by the way.

I know. This guy is just
really good at incorporating

- natural light and...
- Sure. Yeah.

- Yup, yup.
- The discount is significant.

- Yeah.
- Um, I mean,

also I think it would be a great way

to premiere your new design.

I love you.

I love you.

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

♪ ♪ ♪

Hi, Angelica.

[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Canelo. Canelo.

- Canelo. Canelo.
- [MAN SPEAKING SPANISH]

Come here. Come here.

- [MAN 1] Okay.
- [SPEAKING SPANISH]

[IN ENGLISH] Hi. I'm Whitney.
We live at the end of the block.

- Bye-bye.
- I don't think I met you yet.

I met your wife, Barbara.

- Oh, yes.
- What's your name?

- Leo.
- Leo. Nice to meet you.

Oh.

Say hi to Barbara.

- I will.
- It's such a beautiful day.

So nice.

Bye, buddy.

[MAN SPEAKING SPANISH]

[MAN SPEAKING ON TV] The big news

that is completely

being ignored

is what's happening

in gold stocks and in gold.

I mean, today, the GDX index

of gold miners

hit a new high for the year.

In fact, it's at a new seven-year high

and if you look at how much

the index has moved
up since its March low

of about a month ago,

The index has now doubled.

So gold stocks

have doubled in price

in a month.

Now, granted they
doubled from a price that

was low because they went down...

♪ ♪ ♪

[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE]

[BELL JINGLES]

[VIC] Oh. Hey, Whitney.

- What's poppin'?
- [WHITNEY] Hi, Vic.

Um, I was just strolling
in the neighborhood

and I thought I'd check in.

Um... Oh!

We... we haven't told you yet.

Our show got picked up to series.

- [VIC] Oh, congrats.
- [WHITNEY] Yeah.

- It's very exciting.
- [VIC] You don't need me

for anything else, do you?

[WHITNEY] No, no.

Not if you don't want to. No.

[VIC] Yeah, I'd prefer maybe no.

- [WHITNEY] Hmm.
- [VIC] Just wanna get settle in.

[WHITNEY] We can talk about it later.

Um, I noticed the
induction stove out there.

[VIC] Uh, yeah, I swapped
it out for a gas one.

- I do a lot of stir fry.
- [WHITNEY] Mmm.

You know, with a gas unit,

this house no longer
qualifies as passive.

Ah, I didn't know that.

So you're venting the
air then to the outside?

The home is its own ecosystem.

It's not designed for a gas stove.

Well, I figured since it's my home,

I just wanna make it how I love it.

Yes, I am venting.

Okay, good. So I, um, I heard

that you're having an issue

with packages going missing?

Yeah, three of them.

I feel very welcome here.

I think everyone is
just doing their best.

And I know a lot of the neighbors

share your concerns.

Then why are they stealing them?

And I really... I...

I think you're handling it very well

because you're alerting the neighborhood

and you're not calling the police.

- Right?
- I haven't yet, no.

[WHITNEY] Hmm.

That's good because
there's really no reason

to do something like that
over something like this.

I mean, Amazon is not
gonna charge you, obviously.

It was an Alienware computer.

It didn't come from Amazon,

and they're not giving me a refund

because they said it was delivered.

- So...
- [WHITNEY] Mm-hmm.

I would just think about the language

that you're using

to alert the community
because it could be

misinterpreted as an accusation.

You know what I mean?

Um, okay, well, uh,
it's good to see you.

- Yeah.
- Have a good day.

I gotta look up that Alienware stuff.

- That's so cool.
- Yeah.

I guess you really can learn

some things from your neighbors, huh?

- Mm-hmm. Okay.
- Have a good day, Vic.

Yeah. Bye, Whitney.

Bye-bye.

♪ ♪ ♪

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[PHONE VIBRATING]

- Hey. How did it go?
- [WHITNEY, OVER PHONE] Hi.

Uh, Vic threw out his induction range

and he replaced it with a gas stove.

- That's crazy.
- [WHITNEY] Yeah.

There has to be some type of clause

that you can put in the contract

that prevents buyers from ruining

the passive home certification.

- There has to be.
- I just don't think

you can put anything
in a purchase agreement

that prevents people

from making changes
after we close. I mean...

- [WHITNEY SIGHS] But we...
- We can try to,

you know, encourage
that behavior, but...

Then we need to be more discerning

about who we're selling these homes to.

People like Vic just do not deserve

to be part of what we're building.

But it ended okay, right?

[WHITNEY] His... his nose
is broken, but he'll live.

- Yeah.
- [ASHER CHUCKLES]

Don't worry. We'll...
we'll... we'll find

the right people for this.

I... I promise, okay, babe?

- For real.
- This is real now, you know?

It's gonna be a lot of eyes on Española

and on us.

Oh, my God, he didn't
even try to sell the range.

He just threw it out.

f*cking stir fry.

- Oh, my God, the privilege.
- [SIGHS]

It's a $7,000 range.

[WHITNEY] Yeah, I know.
And he... and he put it

right next to the recycling bin

which I thought was hilarious.

Like, "Oh, he recycles."

Is it damaged?

[WHITNEY] No, it's
in perfect condition.

It's just sitting next to
a bunch of garbage bins.

Oh, God.

Anyway, all right, I'll be home soon.

- Okay.
- [WHITNEY] Okay, bye.

Okay, bye. Love you.

["LIKE AN EAGLE BY DENNIS
PARKER PLAYS OVER RADIO]

♪ Like an eagle, like an eagle ♪

♪ In the city, in the city ♪

♪ Fly high ♪

♪ Hunting nightly, hunting nightly ♪

♪ I search, I search ♪

♪ Through the city, through the city ♪

♪ Like an eagle, like an eagle ♪

♪ Always hungry, always wanting ♪

♪ Night, light... ♪

- [SONG STOPS]
- [DOUGIE GROANS]

[INTERCOM BEEPS]

- [HOUSEMAID] Hello.
- Hello.

Yes, sorry to bother you

but, um, I have some car keys here.

And I'm wondering if somebody
here owns a big Mercedes.

[HOUSEMAID] Oh, okay.

[KALVIN] I got it!

What the f*ck, man? You said 8:30.

I'm here, aren't I?

[KALVIN] Did you bring my car?

- [WOMAN] Kalvin!
- No.

- Give me the keys, quick.
- Kalvin, where is your car?

- Kalvin?
- Don't worry, Mom, I got it.

- It's just a delivery.
- [WOMAN] Who is this man?

He's an Uber messenger.

[WOMAN] Are you an Uber messenger?

Yes.

[WOMAN] Okay. You know what,
if somebody doesn't tell me

what's going on right now,
I'm calling the police.

Kalvin!

I don't know, Mom.

He... he came to our school

and started lecturing us outside

about how his wife d*ed drunk driving

and then he tried to buy us
beer to teach us a lesson.

You bought my son beer?

Yes, I did, um, but they were asking me

to buy them beer outside
of the liquor store.

No, we didn't.

You did.

You were asking everyone who went inside

if they would buy it for you.

And... and the only reason that I did it

was to supervise them, okay?

And I made sure that they
gave me all of their car keys

before I bought them the
beer. Look, look, look.

How else would I have this, huh?

Kalvin and your address.

There it is right there.

Huh?

So you bought my son alcohol?

You're lucky I was the
one who bought him alcohol,

you know that? You're
lucky because otherwise

he'd might be dead in a ditch somewhere.

Dude, you stole my
car and bought me beer.

I'm a... I'm a minor.

Such a baby. Sorry.

Look, you can go crime
for crime if you want,

all right, because I don't care.

My life's over essentially.

Anyways, he looks like a young man,

young boy who wants to
go to college, right?

I don't think... I don't think a college

is gonna want a
criminal record on there,

all right? So you think about that

because the only school he's
gonna be able to get into

is Albuquerque Community
College, all right?

I hear they have a good janitor program.

Kalvin, do you know where
your car is? Answer me.

Cleaning up sh*t for the rest
of his life. Excuse my language.

- Do you know where your car is?
- Yes.

- Thank you. Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- Please, leave.
- I appreciate the thank you

- but you're welcome.
- Thank you.

I'd like a thank you from him, please.

- [KALVIN] Thank you.
- You're welcome.

All right. But my morning
is already ruined, okay?

Believe it or not, I have a job to do.

I'm a TV producer.

Okay? And my show just got picked up

for ten episodes to series.

Spoiled brat.

♪ ♪ ♪

[HORN HONKS]

- [ASHER] Hi, Abshir.
- [ABSHIR] Hello.

- [ASHER] How are you?
- Good.

Good? I got some, uh,

goodies from the pantry for you.

Oh, I get so much food

from the grocery store, but thanks.

Yeah. And Whitney got some supplements

- for your neck pain.
- Yeah.

So that's in here, too.

Um, I, uh, I do have to, uh,

come in to do a mold test.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah, it won't be long at all.

You have to?

As the owner of the property,

if there is mold, you know,
that's a liability for me,

so I do need to do it.

Or else you could sue me.

- I'm not gonna sue you.
- No, no, I know you won't sue me,

but you could.

So, um...

- [ABSHIR] Okay.
- Yeah, but I won't be long.

- Is that all right?
- Yeah, all right.

- More goodies here.
- Okay.

Do you like these beet chips?

You guys eat a lot of pasta?

Not me. She loves it.

[ASHER] Oh, yeah?

Nala, what's your
favorite kind of pasta?

Spaghetti.

Spaghetti?

Do you like penne?

What's penne?

That's macaroni.

Kinda gross, huh? [CHUCKLES]

- [HANI] Yeah.
- Yucky.

[HANI] How does that work?

How does this work?

I'm taking a sample with this Q-tip

of all the gucky stuff

and this is gonna go off to the lab

and then they're gonna
tell us in a week or so

if there's anything bad
in there or if it's fine.

Pretty neat, huh?

You like science?

- Yes.
- [ASHER] Okay.

Do you know what this is called?

A Petri dish.

So, we have to take the lid off

and then we're going to
leave it just over here,

so it sits right here

and it has to stay for 48 hours.

And then it's gonna test
the air for, um, contaminants.

And then maybe once we got the results,

you can bring it into
school and you can say

Uncle Asher helped you make it,

if you want.

Pretty cool, huh?

Oh, I watched, uh, some
of those Tiny Curse videos.

They're pretty cool.

I saw one where a kid's homework

disappeared and then turned into a DVD

of the show 60 Minutes.

So that's a real curse.

What's 60 Minutes?

Um, it's a news magazine.

Um...

It's a show for us old...
old geezers like me.

[IN DEEP VOICE] Oh, oh, I'm so old.

- That's not funny.
- Hi, I'm old.

[HANI] Ha-ha, you're so funny.

You don't find this funny?

- [HANI] No.
- [NALA] Hey,

you should let me paint your nails.

[ASHER, IN NORMAL VOICE]
Okay. You wanna paint my nails?

- [NALA] Mm-hmm.
- [ASHER] I'd love that.

Wait, did you do it on yourself?

[NALA] Yes.

[ASHER] Just one nail.

[NALA] Hmm, I could just have one.

Okay. Which one are
you gonna start with?

- [NALA] This one.
- I'd like to show you something.

Okay. Right now?

Yeah.

Can you please, let's
just stop discussing curses

- anywhere around here.
- Oh, it's a TikTok trend.

She told me it's a TikTok trend.

I know it's a trend, but it's...

I had to work very hard for
her to stop talking about it.

And where I'm from, we
don't play with that.

Just so, please, just stop it.

Of course, of course. Um...

[ABSHIR] Yeah.

Do you mind if I ask where you're from?

Uh, Minnesota.

- Minnesota. Okay.
- [ABSHIR] Hmm.

And...

you, um...

your culture, you believe in,

um, curses or, uh...

- No, no, no.
- Oh, okay.

But if you put an idea in your head,

it can become very real.

And she's... she's just a young girl.

- Of course. Yeah, yeah.
- You know?

Just... I want it to be stopped.

No, of course, yes. No problem.

Yeah. We appreciate
everything you're doing,

but just keep that at it.

Just... thanks.

Of course. Oh, you wanted to show me

- something in here?
- Oh, it's nothing.

♪ ♪ ♪

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS OVER STEREO]

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Make sure not to catch
yourself in the reflection.

sh**t from an angle.

Okay.

Do you, um...

You spoke to Fernando yesterday, right?

Yeah. He's really nice.
We actually talked for a long time.

Great. Uh, did you see his belt?

Um, he... he still has it.

Did you tell him not to bring it?

I talked to him about it

but he didn't really answer
me when I asked him, so...

Did you say that it
makes us uncomfortable?

I said that it made you uncomfortable.

Do you want me to talk to him again?

That would be great.

Yeah, if you don't mind.

[WHITNEY] The coffee shop's
reopening soon anyway,

so we don't even need him
doing security anymore.

Yeah. Thanks so much.

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[MUFFLED CONVERSATION]

Okay, cool. Let me know.

Thank you. All right.

Hello?

[LUISA] I told him not to bring the
g*n anymore and he said, "Okay."

♪ ♪ ♪

Is he getting in his car?

He's getting in right now.

♪ ♪ ♪

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

[CAR ENGINE STARTS]

- Okay. Let's go.
- [ENGINE STARTS]

Wait, wait, wait. Wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

- Wait, wait, wait.
- [ENGINE STOPS]

I can't be seen in his security camera.

Um, here, let me get
out and you can do it,

and I'll meet you
around the corner, okay?

- [DOOR THUDS]
- Oh, f*ck.

Sorry, sorry, I dented it.

You're against a wall. It's fine.

There's probably no scratch there.

Just back up so I can get out.

That won't be easy for me to do, boss.

These things are heavy.

- Besides, it's garbage.
- It's...

Who cares if we're taking it?

It's unprofessional to be
seen on camera taking it.

Here, just back up so I can get out.

[SIGHS]

Just duck down in the back.

♪ ♪ ♪

[ENGINE STARTS]

[ENGINE STOPS]

[GRUNTS]

I can't do this alone.
Can I get your help?

Come on, man. You're
f*cking jacked. You got this.

You can do it. You
can do it on your own.

Trust me.

It fell.

Oh, g*dd*mn it, Freckle.

Just leave it, let's go.

Let me put it back on the curb.

[ASHER] Just leave it.
It's fine. Just leave it.

Oh, gosh.

Go, go. Come on, Freckle.

Hurry up.

[ENGINE STARTS]

See, it's tough.

The whole show is
integrating the two buyers

into the community, so...

I know, but Whitney
doesn't wanna use Vic

for anything beyond the pilot.

And that's, like, for sure, for sure.

So, can you do it with
our Palmer Lane buyers,

Dennis and Lucinda?

[DOUGIE] Yeah. I guess so.

I just thought Vic would be pretty funny

because, um, he's single.

So, him at a fiesta would
be kind of... [CHUCKLES]

I mean, he was also r*cist
to the entire neighborhood,

so I don't think we can use him.

Come on. That's the kind of stuff

I want in the show, man.

Racism?

No, but, like, conflict.

I'm sure you can make,
uh, with your skills,

Dennis and Lucinda
seem r*cist, too, so...

- [SCOFFS]
- I'm obviously joking.

[DOUGIE] Don't tempt me there.

All right. Fine. No Vic.

Look at us, huh?

Making a TV show.

[SCOFFS] Yeah.

[DOUGIE] Boys are back.

Asher and Big D back on the lake.

[SCOFFS] Back on the lake.

Look, man...

[EXHALES SHARPLY] I
just wanna say I'm sorry,

you know, for bullying you
all those years at camp.

You never bullied me.

There was the time at Sports World

where we ditched you and the
pantsing at the swim meet.

Uh, we were just joking around.

Yeah, right?

- [ASHER] Yeah.
- It was fun.

All right. Look, the point I
was trying to make about Vic was

just because Whitney has a moral issue

with something that's happening,

we just toss it away?

Come on. You know our show
barely got picked up, right?

- Really? The show?
- [DOUGIE] Yeah. Yes.

The pilot could have been so good.

You had you with the reporter, right?

Chasing her around, the
little girl cursing you,

the yogurt argument, all that stuff,

we're letting them go,
throwing them in the trash.

You know how hard it
is to get that stuff?

I don't know.

I'm just trying to protect
what we've got here.

And you know Whitney better than me,

so, what can we do about it, right?

[ASHER] Yeah. Well...

my only advice would
be to get used to it

'cause she's not gonna change.

[DOUGIE] Oh, great.

What is this stuff?

Oh, Stars and Stripes.

Two-and-a-half-liter bottle.

Local cola,

about a dollar-ish.

Maybe buck twenty-five, dollar-thirty,

depending on where you shop.

It's kind of crazy actually.

The girl that did that curse thing...

she was actually living in
one of the houses we bought.

[DOUGIE] That's crazy.
Here. Let me have one.

What do you think of this jacket?

- Good?
- [ASHER] Nice, yeah.

I can pull it off.

Seventeen hundred bucks.

[CHUCKLES] It's a lot. Yeah, it's nice.

[DOUGIE] Cool.

It's actually kind of funny, I...

so I said to her, the girl,

as like a joke, I was, like, "Oh,

what was the curse you did to me?"

And, uh...

she told me

that she took the
chicken out of our pasta.

But the night she did that,

there's actually chicken
missing from our pasta.

We had a chicken pasta
from our delivery thing.

- [DOUGIE] Hmm.
- [ASHER] It's, like,

what are the odds?

So she... she said that
and then that happened, huh?

[ASHER] Yeah.

Well, it happened before.

But I guess she thought
it... I don't know.

What is it?

Let me show you something. Come here.

- [ASHER] Can I sit?
- [DOUGIE] Yeah, yeah.

Here, watch this.

[GIRL, ON VIDEO] I curse you.

[ASHER, ON VIDEO] [LAUGHS] Okay. Okay.

- I'm gonna go get... okay?
- You hear that?

[ASHER, ON VIDEO] So I'll
be right... just stay here.

I'm getting change.

I curse you.

[LAUGHS] Okay.

Okay. I'm gonna go get... okay?

- [ASHER] The static?
- Yeah.

Yeah. Right after she
said, "I curse you,"

it went... [IMITATES STATIC SOUND]

Isn't that just interference,
though, from the distance?

Because I was far away from you guys.

[SIGHS]

Look, I'm debating whether I
have to even tell you or not

but...

[ASHER] What?

[SIGHS]

I was cursed.

[LAUGHS]

[DOUGIE] I'm serious.

What? Wait, by who?

I don't know.

There's nobody that in particular

that I can point to, but...

there's no other way I can
explain what happened...

[SIGHS] with, um, Melanie.

Oh. I thought... I
thought it was an accident.

It was. It was, but...

I happened to be drunk that night.

Nothing, nothing makes sense.

And then...

I'm not... I don't wanna talk
about this anymore, all right?

♪ ♪ ♪

[ASHER, ON VIDEO] Okay.
So I'll be right...

just stay here.

I'm getting change.

Okay. Okay. I'm gonna go get... okay?

So I'll be right... just stay here.

I'm getting change.

♪ ♪ ♪

[CHIROPRACTOR] Breathe in and out.

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

Um, is it possible to pre-pay

for an appointment for someone else?

[CHIROPRACTOR] Yes. Absolutely.

Do they have insurance?

Let's assume not.

And then I'll just
cover the whole thing.

[SIKHS SINGING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE]

- Would you like to join us?
- Oh, that's okay.

- I could just watch.
- Okay.

[SINGING CONTINUES]

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

So with a younger workforce
coming into the corporate world,

ironically, there are
gonna be a lot more words

that we're gonna need to avoid.

But the good news is, sometimes,

uh, some of the funniest
jokes that we tell,

we don't even know why
we're laughing, right?

We don't even need words, right?

So what we're gonna do is
we're gonna go around the circle

and then we're gonna
try to see if we can make

the whole group laugh...

not using any words, okay?

No words. So I'll go first.

- [ALL LAUGHING]
- Yeah? All right.

All right. Sarah, we're gonna
go... you're gonna go next,

and then we're gonna go clockwise.

- [LAUGHING]
- [JEFF] That's great.

That's great.

- [LAUGHING]
- [JEFF] Uh-huh. Okay. Next.

[LAUGHING]

[JEFF] That's great,
that's hilarious, go ahead.

Don't worry about it. Everybody's here,

you know, we're supporting you.

No wrong choices, go ahead.

- Oh.
- [LAUGHING]

[JEFF] Hilarious. Okay, go ahead.

Yeah.

- [LAUGHING]
- [JEFF] That's great.

That's hilarious. Yeah.

[LAUGHING]

[JEFF] That's great, yeah. Next.

[GIBBERISH]

[JEFF] Uh, next.

[LAUGHING]

[JEFF] Okay. Go ahead.

[ALL LAUGHING]

[JEFF] Go ahead.

Yeah.

That's hilarious.

[ALL LAUGHING]

[JEFF] Great, yeah.

- [ALL LAUGHING]
- [JEFF] Awww.

f*ckin' comedy.

[ALL LAUGHING]

[ALL LAUGHING]

[ALL LAUGHING]

[ALL LAUGHING]

- [JEFF] Okay, last...
- [ALL LAUGHING]

[JEFF] That's great, guys.
Good job, that's hilarious.

Give yourselves a round of applause.

- [ALL APPLAUDING]
- [JEFF] Good job, everybody.

Great.