02x09 - The Great Outdoors/The Cat That Laid the Golden Hairball

[bunniefuu]

( whistling )

Oh, joy !

What a
beautiful day !

We're gonna spend the whole
weekend really roughing it,

just like the animals !

Yes, sir, it's back
to nature for us !

Right, Ren ?

Will you shut up ?

I don't want to rough
anything, so shut up !

( giggling )
Shut up, all right ?

Well, I'm hungry !

Don't tell me you didn't
bring any food.

Here we go, Ren.

Dehydrated
food pills.

What ?

Just like
the primitive man ate.

See, there's pills
for meat, cheese,

vegetables, grain,
tacos, applesauce.

Now, that is
truly disgusting.

Pills for food.

Hmm !

I'll have
the red meat pill.

Uh-uh-uh, Ren !

The red meat
dinner pill

is only for
the ruggedest of people.

Since you wanna
make it easy,

why don't you try

a nice creamed
spinach pill ?

I'll show you
who's rugged !

Give me that
meat pill !

Okay, Ren, okay.

But first
you have to add Wa--

shut up !

I know what
I'm doing.

Mm.

Cowboys
delight dinner.

I'm a cowboy.

Waah !

( gulps )

( sighs )

( rumbles )

No, sir,
I don't like it.

Gosh, Ren,
isn't this beautiful ?

Huh ?

Hey, you know what
would be fun ?

Let's go
skinny dipping.

What ?

Are you crazy ?

Oh, come on, Ren,
you'll like it.

No !

It's all right,
Ren.

It's nature.

( gasps )

( wolf whistle )

Come on in, Ren,
the water's fine.

I don't know.

What if someone
sees me ?

We're in the middle
of nowhere.

Who's gonna see you ?

Hmm.

Well, that water does
look pretty inviting.

( unzipping )

Okay, here I come !

No fair.

Huh ?

Oh, no.

Oh, come on, Ren.

Mm-mm.

Come on !

Well... okay.

( dings )

Well, hello there !

This feels great !

Come on,
let's frolic.

( gargling )

( giggling )

Skinny dipping.

I just love
skinny dipping !

Hey, fellers !

( soaring whistle )

How're you
fellers doing ?

Beautiful day,
isn't it ?

Boy, it sure is
nice to find other guys

who are comfortable with
their nakedity, like me.

Say, you know
who'd like this ?

Ma !

Hey, ma !

Hello, men !

( shattering )

I'm off to
pick berries, Ren.

Yeah, yeah.

Will you light
the fire while I'm gone ?

What ?

Do I have to do everything
around here ?

You know I'm lost
without you.

How am I supposed
to light this thing ?

Rub two
twigs together !

Twigs ?

What are
twigs ?

( squealing )

( scraping )

( buzzing )

( popping )

( belches )

( buzzing )

Ah, bah !

That's no way
to light a fire.

This is !

Yes, sir, this will
get her going.

( flowing )

Ahhh...

one roaring campfire,
coming up !

( expl*si*n )

( screaming )

Ahh !

Hang on there,
young feller,

I'll save you.

( pounding )

I just love
skinny stomping.

After stomping
your campfire,

always douse the embers

and stir the ashes
with a stick.

( chattering )

( crash )

Aren't the stars
beautiful, Ren ?

Yeah, they are.

This roughing it stuff
is great, Stimpy.

Why don't we sleep
under the stars tonight ?

Okay, pal.

( snoring )

( insect buzzing )

( growling )

( gulping )

( screams )

( sighs )

( snoring )

( heart b*ating )

( loud buzzing )

( rooster crowing )

Oh, man,
what a feast !

Oh, I'll never do
that again.

Oh, I'm stuffed.

( burping )

I don't know
about you guys,

but I'm gonna lay me
some eggs.

I hear you, man.

( yawning )

Man, did I
sleep good !

How'd you sleep, Ren ?

Oh, I slept all right.

This outdoors stuff
sure makes you thirsty.

Ah, cool, fresh,

virgin
spring water.

Sweet lord, no !

You can't drink
that water, Ren !

Beavers do their business
in that water !

If you drink it,
you could get beaver fever !

( growls )

Beaver fever ?

Would you
mind telling me

what I am supposed
to drink, then ?

Don't worry, Ren.

I always bring a supply
of clean, pure,

unpolluted water.

( gasps )

( gulps )

Ah, thanks,
Stimpy.

You saved my--

( screaming )

I don't feel
so good.

( clattering )

Hey !

My ears !

( screams )

Oh, dear !

Beaver fever !

Look what you've
done to me now !

You fat, bloated,
stupid idiot !

( whopping )

Ahh !

I just love
skinny slappin'.

( birds chirping )

( yawning )

I think
I'll watch some tube.

( squishing )

( growls )

I'm surrounded
by filthy, dirty,

stinky hairballs !

Oh, when Stimpy
gets home,

oh, what I'm
going to do to him !

( stomping )

( man on television )
We interrupt your regularly
scheduled program

for this news flash !

Oh, boy,
mayhem !

Top scientists have discovered
that feline hairballs

are an excellent
source of non-polluting fuel.

They're the perfect material

for manufacturing
the space shuttle's heat shield.

They're a better source of
material for clothing

than either cotton or wool !

They have more
fiber than oat bran !

They even cure pinkeye !

The price of hairballs has
been rising steadily,

and by the end of the week,

they are expected to be more
valuable than gold !

( Ren )
They're wet !

They're vile !

They're stinky !

But I love
them !

( laughs )

( Stimpy )
Ren ?

Stimpy !

Are you
all right ?

Please, Stimpy,
do wharf a mighty pile

of golden fleece upon
my grateful crown.

( churning
and rumbling )

Wharf !

( giggling )

At last, I can have
those pectoral implants.

( slurping )

( dings )

Mm-hmm,
good texture.

( dinging )

( whistles )

Stimpy,
snap it up !

Hmm.

Uh, hey,
Ren--

( crashing )

Shut up and lick
your other arm !

( slurping )

( scratching )

( percolating )

( dinging )

( farts )

Hey, mister, get back
on that line

and start wharfing !

But, Ren...

I need fuel to
make hairballs

and I'm fresh out.

Ugh, I guess you can
lick off my hair.

Come on, come on.

Get it
over with.

( slurping )

( shuddering )

That makes
my flesh crawl.

Stop it !

You've rendered
me hairless.

Now get to wharfing !

( wheezes )

I guess you weren't
hairy enough, Ren.

( laughing )

Uncle Ren got
licked for nothing.

Hmm.

Bubba...

yes, uncle Ren ?

Extend to Stimpy your
powerfully hairy arm.

( slurping )

( gulps )

Ugh.

Where are
you going ?

Your plate's
still full.

( wolf howling )

( groans )

( laughing )

Now that
feels purty.

Hey, buddy !

You think you're ready
to wharf some hairballs ?

I think so.

Then get
to it, man !

Time is money !

( gagging )

( both chanting )
Wharf ! Wharf ! Wharf !

( grunting )

Wharf ! Wharf !
Wharf ! Wharf ! Wharf !

( straining )

Wharf ! Wharf ! Wharf !
Wharf ! Wharf ! Wharf !

( grunting )

( gagging )

( gurgling )

No !

( thumping )

Oh, Bubba, come lend
Stimpy a hand.

Yes, uncle Ren.

Squeeze that
monkey, Bubba !

That's it,
Stimpy !

Let her rip !

( retching )

Hmm, why, there's
nothing in here

but a bunch of
useless bones and organs.

Hmm, this is serious.

Well, we'll have to
do an exploratory.

An exploratory ?

What's that ?

Show him, Bubba !

( snap )

Well, what do
you see ?

Nothing.

It's dark.

Use your flashlight,
stupid.

That's better.

( squishing )

( bird cawing )

( horn honking )

I think
I found it.

It's his
hairball gland.

I think it's broke.

It can't.

Without hairballs,
he's only half a cat.

Stimpy, I...

( sighs )

I've got to
make hairballs.

There, there, big fellow.

Just lay back
and relax.

But Ren,

what about your
pectoral implants ?

Yeah.

( crying )

When a cat loses
its hairball gland,

it's-- it's--
it's over !

It's over !

Yeah, it's over !