01x10 - Child's Play

[bunniefuu]

- No matter how much time
I spend here,

I still can't get over


- You should see what they
use to bake the muffins.

- Is it just me,

Or do they seem
a little undercooked?

- Aah!
- Oh!

- This is completely
illogical.

- Huh?
- It's alive.

It has to be some
kind of illusion.

- Feels pretty real to me.

- Whatever is causing this,

It must be an extremely
advanced being
of tremendous power.

- Heh heh heh.
This is so cool.

- What?

[Giggling]

- It's just a kid!

- He's the source
of these anomalies?

I find that highly
unlikely.

- Look out!

- Ha!

- Note to self.

Run diagnostic
on optical sensors.

I must be seeing things.

- Whoa! He's awesome.

What kind of magic
is your friend using?

- There is no such thing
as magic.

The laws of physics
are quite clear
on that matter.

- So what do you call this?

- Unh!

I call it not amusing.

[Laughing]

- Who are you?

- I'm zix. Who are you?

- I'm superman.

Do you think you can
change all of this back?

- I guess.

You're not from around
here, are you?

- Nuh-uh.

- Are you lost?

I dunno.

We should take him back
to legion headquarters

And figure out
where he belongs.

- I think that would be
a very bad idea.

- At least it'll keep him
out of trouble.

[Giggling]

- Ha ha!

- Hey! I was winning.

Aah!

- Ow!
- Ow!

Superman: zix, where are you?

- Uh-oh.

- Argh!

Oh, will you please
hold still?

I'm trying to run
a mind probe

So we can figure out
where you come from.

- Why do you want
to know about that place?

It's nothing but
rules, rules, rules.

I'm having
much more fun here.

- Aah!

- Ha ha!
- Come here!

- Unh...uhh!

- Heh heh heh heh!

- Ahh.

Next time you wanna
bring home a stray,

Try a puppy.

- I've run
an extensive analysis,

And the source of zix's
power is inconclusive.

- Or it's magic.

My mother once told me
about a sorcerer's world.

- Phantom girl, please.

There is no such thing
as magic.

[Clucks]

- Then again,

It wouldn't hurt
to double check.

You should call her.

- A zarokian? Oh, no.

What have you gotten yourself
into this time, tinya?

- Mother!

- If your little visitor
really is from zarok,

We're in some serious
trouble.

- Can't we just call
his people

And have someone
pick him up?

- They're backwards
and dangerous, tinya.

You'd be wasting your time
trying to contact them.

Zarok severed all relations

With the united planets
centuries ago.

Unless this wizard
moves on,

I'm afraid we're stuck
with him.

- Oh, great.

- Remember comet and cupid?

Well, it looks like
their cages

At the new metropolis zoo
just malfunctioned.

- It took
the science police

A week to catch them.

- Well, then, it's time for
the big legion of
superheroes roundup!

Yee-haw!

- Cool! Let's go.

- Sorry, kid.

You just stay
out of trouble

And let us handle this.

[Roaring]

[Roaring]

- Brainie, were you able
to fix the barriers?

- That's just the thing.
They're not broken.

According to
my diagnostics,

They work fine.

- So then how'd
they get loose?

- Who cares?
This is fun!

- Wait.

Did you let
these things out?

- Heh heh. Maybe.

- You need to put
them back right now.

- Okey-doke.

This is a job for
superzix. Ha!

[Laughing]

Yeah, yeah!
Faster, faster!

- Activating shields.

- Real funny, kid.

Now quit fooling around
and... Ow!

- Sleep.

[Snoring]

- That was wicked awesome.

Let's do it again.

- Zix, I appreciate
you want to help, but...

- Listen up,
you little twerp.

You could've got
someone hurt.

- Lightning lad.

- If he can't
follow the rules,

It's time for him
to go home.

- No! Never!

You can't make me.

No more rules!

I hate rules!

- Uh-oh.

- Aah!

[Screeches]

- Ow!

[Giggling]

- Break it up, you two.

- Aah!

- Ew, gross!

- Okay, zix, fun's over.
Change them back.

- No.

All you're gonna do
is send me home,

And I don't
wanna go home.

I want to stay here
and play some more.

[Sighs]

This must be the backwards
and dangerous part.

- Transforming matter has
serious molecular consequences.

It has to end.

- It's called magic.

- This isn't what
superheroes do, zix.

- Who wants to be
a crummy superhero?

It'd be much more fun
to be a supervillain.

- Ow! How did you...

That actually hurt me.

- Then this ought
to really hurt.

- I don't believe it.

Superman is vulnerable
to magic.

- Seriously bad sign.
I'm going to zarok.

Someone there has got
to be able to help us.

I need a diversion.

- Done!

- Triplicate girl,
bring the legion cruiser
around quick.

- Ha!
- Aah!

- Not feeling
so super now, are you?

- Hey, what's going on?

Ha.

[Alarms ringing]

- Aah! Too much noise.

Can't concentrate.

- Ha, ha, ha. Huh?

Hey, where are you going?

No fair.

Nobody's supposed to leave
until I say they can!

Ugh, I hate it when
people run away.

Hate it, hate it, hate it.

- Whew! He missed us.

- Well, uh, maybe
you should speak for
yourself, phantom girl.

- Unh, unh, unh!

[Alarms ringing]

- Aah! Oh!

- I was getting bored
with you guys anyway.

Hmm.

Let's play a new game.

- According to
the old charts,

This is where zarok
is supposed to be,

But there's nothing
but empty space.

- Wish I could say
the same for in here.

- I see you've decided to
ignore my advice, tinya.

- Well, that was
before the little brat

Started turning my
friends into rodents.

- My first job
in public service

Was a mission to re-open
talks with zarok.

I wasn't much older
than you are now.

- You never told me
about that.

- It's not exactly
a fond memory.

Their ways are arcane,

And, well, humiliating.

I failed.

- I have to at least try.

My friends need me.

New metropolis needs me.

- I know, dear,

But we'll have
to find another way.

Diplomacy just won't work
with these people.

- [English accent]
'allo, 'allo, 'allo.

What's all this, then?

Unauthorized use
of triplicating spell

Outside the magical barrier.

I'll have to cite you
for that.

- I don't have time
for this.

I'm on an urgent mission.

- 'Fraid you'll have
to take that up

With the sorcerer's
high council.

Meanwhile, you can obtain
the proper fusion spell

From the bureau
of magical affairs.

- How am I supposed to
find all these places

If I can't even
find your planet?

- Oh, thanks.

[Screaming]

- Hey, I'm starting to
feel bouncy again.

[Alarms ringing]

- Uhh. Huh?

I can thought-cast.

- Unh! Uhh!

Huh?

Zix's so-called magic must
have a finite limitation.

We're all
returning to normal.

Well, almost all of us.

[Growls

- Aah! Unh.

- Superman.

[Groaning]

- Are you alright?

- So this what it's like
to be exhausted.

I'm worried.

This kid could
really hurt me.

- If one sorcerer
can do that to superman,

Just imagine what
an entire planet of them

Can do to phantom girl.

[Laughing]

- [English accent]
request denied. Next.

- But I just filled out a
mountain of parchment work.

This is an
inter-planetary emergency.

- Oh. Then you need
to file an appeal

And wait in that line. Next.

- I'm here representing

The united planets
on official business.

- In that case, you'll want
customs, 2 dungeons down.

- Aah!

[Cheering]

[Ding ding]

- Request approved.

- [Groans]

I don't believe this.

No wonder zix wanted
to leave this place.

- If it weren't
for our rules,

What would stop us
from running rampant
with our powers?

You're very determined,
young lady.

The council will
hear your plea.

- Ah, ha ha ha ha!

The only thing more
fun than getting new toys

Is breaking new toys.

Aah! Unh.

Ow! That hurt.

- Looks like
somebody can dish it out

But can't take it.

- Ha!

- Unh, uhh.

I don't have to take it,
at least not from you.

- What did you do?

- Not much.

I just took away
all your powers.

And now,

I'm gonna crush you

Like the little bug
you are.

- How do you like it now,
puny hero?

You're not so tough.

- Okay, zix.

You've proven
you're more powerful

Than all of us.

Please, stop.

- No.

- Alright.

I concede.

It's magic.

- Uh, what was that?

- It's magic.

- Ah, thanks for noticing.

- Come on, kid.

Not much of a victory when
you've messed with our powers.

- Oh yeah?

I could b*at you
at full strength any day.

- You think so?

Prove it.

- Okay, I will.

- Unh!

- Introducing...

The ultimate face-off
between magic

And superpowers!

Zix the magnificent
vs. Superman!

Ha ha!

[Roaring]

[Roaring]

- What does he think
he's doing?

- Buying us time.

- We have reviewed
your formal request.

And have come
to a verdict.

The council has agreed
in principle

To send an emissary
to retrieve

The runaway
sorcerer child zix.

- Yes!

Ahem, I mean,
thank you, your eminence.

- According to our by-laws,
however,

Your uninvited presence
on our planet

Constitutes a hostile act.

Therefore, as of now,
we are officially

In a state of w*r
with the united planets.

- What?

- Prepare our forces
for att*ck!

- Uh!

Unh!

- Aah!

Aah!

- Aah!

- Ahh, you know what?

I'm working too hard.

Let's just give him
all of your powers

And see what happens.

- You must call off
the att*ck!

This is all
a big misunderstanding.

- Nevertheless,
we are magically bound

By our rules.

- Can't you just
bend them a little bit?

- The rules can neither
be altered nor amended.

- Unh!

[Grunting]

- Heh heh heh!

Crush him!

- Battling superman
is beginning to strain

Zix's powers
to their limit.

- If we all att*ck
at once,

It could push him over.

- So what are
we waiting for?

Let's bounce this brat!

- Ow!

- Let's see
just what this stadium's

Operating system can do.

- Ohh...aah!

Oh!

I can't see!

No fair!

[Speakers blaring]

- Aah! Stop! No!

- Pbbbttt!

Couldn't resist.

- What about zix?

He must've broken
about a million rules!

- And he will be
dealt with.

After the w*r.

- Hmm.

Let me get this straight.

You'll take zix back
once the w*r

With the united planets
is over.

- We must. It's a rule.

- Then, as a representative
of the united planets,

I officially surrender.

- Call off the att*ck!

We accept your surrender.

- You do? That's great!

Mom's gonna love this.

- Uhh, uhh...

Aah!

- That's it!
Keep him confused!

We're wearing him down!

- Ow!

Uhh!

No fair!

Quit ganging up on me!

Quit it, quit it,
quit it, quit it!

Aah...

- Uh oh.

- Unh...

Oh...

[Panting]

- Aw, the little guy
wore himself out!

- So how are we gonna
clean up his mess?

- It appears that's being
taken care of.

- There.

Everything just as it was.

Oh, right.

- Unh!

Ouch.

- [Muttering]

- On behalf
of the zarokian people,

I must apologize
for the brash actions

Of an impetuous youth.

I hope this incident
will not taint our relations.

Your daughter's
quick-thinking

And selfless action
convinced me

The time is ripe
for zarok to establish

Closer ties
to the united planets.

- Why, yes.
Yes, of course.

I... I agree wholeheartedly.

- And it's good
to see you again, winema.

This time under
more cordial circumstances.

- Maybe I should ignore
your advice more often, mom.

- Now...

About the terms of your...

Surrender.

- Surrender?

- Uh, heh heh!