03x03 - Big Dynomite

[bunniefuu]

[bagpipe playing]

♪ ♪

Mika!

Stop making everyone so sad.

You know how I
feel about playing

bittersweet notes
of unfulfilled longing

on school grounds.

That's not why they're sad.

They're crying because they
stopped making Choco Crocos.

[gasps] Choco Crocos?

The chocolate covered
crocodile crackers

that were woven deeply
into the fabric of our lives?

The same.

We just have to carry on,
children.

Big smiles, girls.

We mustn't let them see us cry.

I'll be in my office
doing principally things.

[sobbing]

Don't look at me!

[bell rings]

Psst, hey!

- Miles?
- Check it!

[soft music]

Are these Choco Crocos?

Shh!

That's the last bag
in all of Swellview.

And my boy Bose found them.

Aw, and you wanted
to share with us?

Of course!

But we didn't expect you
to house the whole bag.

Mm, sorry.

Oh, there's only two left!

- I'm gonna need those back.
- What?

No!
No, you're not getting them.

- I finish them.
- I'm the one that found them.

- ♪ A-doodley-doodley-doo ♪
- It was all me.

♪ A-doodley-doodley-doo ♪

- Who's the blonde?
- Don't know.

Must be a new kid.

Somebody should tell him
about the concrete banana.

♪ A-doodley-doodley-doo ♪
Ow!

Ugh, Jiminy Willickers!

Yow, yow, yow, yow!

You okay, kid?

Uh, yeah.

Great way to start my first day
at a new school.

What is that thing?

We call it
the concrete banana.

Legend has it,
the people who built the school

dropped a banana in wet concrete

and were just too lazy
to pick it up.

It's not a great legend.

But it's ours.

Maybe someone
should put up a sign.

They did.

Are you sure
this is your first day?

You look familiar.

Yep, Buddy Fudgers
at your service.

Buddy, you forgot your lunch.

That's my mom.

Watch out for the banana!

Oh, thank you, young man.

Yes, thanks for saving
my mom, ma'ams and sirs.

She's the most important woman
in the whole wide world to me.

Aw, Buddy.

- That kid's weird.
- Yeah.

Why is it weird
to love your mom?

Yeah, what's so bad
about having feelings?

Uh, one, feelings are gross.
Two...

I know why
that kid looked familiar!

He's Lil Dynomite.

- You're right.
- [gasps]

The superhero kid
from Neighborville

that Ray hired
to make us jealous?

- Yes!
- [gasps]

The one that went
on a mission with us,

walked into a nuclear reactor,
and got melty bones?

- Yes!
- [gasps]

The one that swore vengeance
upon Captain Man

and said he was
gonna destroy him someday?

Miles, stop recapping.

But yes.

I don't think that's him.

Lil Dynomite was "lil."

That kid's big.

You seriously agree with Bose?

Bosey knew where to find
the last bag of Choco Crocos.

Maybe he's right about this.

Yeah, I told you
that was my lucky dumpster.

I'm telling you,
that new kid is Lil Dynomite.

Agreed.

In fact,
I think we should make

a bet with these two bozos.

- Huh.
- There's only one Bose, me.

In.

You got one week to prove that
that kid is Lil Dynomite

or Bose and I get the last
two Choco Crocos on Earth.

- You're on.
- Bet.

[spits]

A simple oral
agreement will do.

[sobbing]

Mustn't let them see us cry.

[sobbing]

[upbeat music]

Lil Dynomite,
super kid from Neighborville?

Doesn't ring a bell.

Talks like he's from the ' s?

Nope.

Tried to destroy you?

A lot of people try
to destroy me.

Schwoz, hurry up.
It's almost : .

Oh, when your daily
coal fire bath is.

You're in danger!

Lil Dynomite swore
vengeance on you,

and now he's moved to Swellview.

New kid is not Lil Dynomite.

Yes, he is!

We have a bet going.

Is it Choco Croco related?

Winner gets
the last two on Earth.

The stakes couldn't be higher.

Hey, can I get in on this?

Help us confirm
it's not him...

It's him.

And we'll give you
a million dollars.

- Huh?
- Pass.

We give you the crumbs left
over in the Choco Croco bag.

Ooh, Daddy like.

Both: Ew!

Now, what's Daddy got to do?

We need you to get inside
Lil Dynomite's house

and do some snooping.

Think you can score
a date with his mom?

Oh, gee, let me think.

- Pretty sure this guy...
- I don't know.

How would I even go
about doing that?

This guy right here,
this singular guy right here...

Turn on the little
brain upstairs.

This guy, this guy...

Both: I think I can get a date
with that kid's mom.

I say, I can get a date
with that kid's mom.

What do you mean, no?

I mean no.

I don't want to go
on a date with you.

- Ooh.
- Ouch.

- That hurts.
- This guy.

I'm reading a first edition
copy of "The Iliad."

Uh, "The Iliad"
was first written down

about , years ago.

That book is younger than you.

Ow!

I'm wearing
this stupid getup, aren't I?

I'm into guys
that are more casual,

you know, jeans,
Hawaiian shirts, muscles.

♪ ♪

Why did you wear
that boring stuff?

Because I wanted
to impress you.

Oh, you want
to impress me, huh?

Come to my HotFit class and do
a hundred speed rope cycles

wearing a weighted vest.

- You do HotFit?
- Every day.

Right before I hit
the batting cages.

Then I stop by s*ab-N-Go
and dream about the day

I can buy the th...

both: Century imperial
Japanese katana made

by the master craftsman
known only as Dave?

[gasps]

You want to go to HotFit
and get all sweaty?

Oh, you bet-y.

A dimey that rhymeys.

Oh, my.

- Ugh!
- Ew, I'm gonna be sick.

[chuckles] That guy.

It all just kind of happened.

[overlapping chatter]

You get all that?

♪ Danger ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ ♪

♪ Danger!
One, two, three, Force! ♪

We look amazing.

You've been posing for hours.

[all shouting at once]

That's right,
keep walking, Schwoz.

Keep walking.

[upbeat music]

Hello?

Ray?
Where you at?

We want to know how
your date went.

♪ Credenza, Credenza ♪

♪ We're more
than just friends-a ♪

What's wrong with you?

I know I always said
I'd never fall in love.

I always assumed that in the
palatial bathroom of my heart,

there was only room
for the one toilet.

What?

But now,

now I see that there's room
for two toilets.

I don't follow?

- I'm in love with Credenza.
- Oh.

Ew.

Why are there two toilets
in one bathroom?

[sighs]
You'll know one day, my son.

Okay, I'm glad you found
your love toilets or whatever.

Thank you so much.

But did you flush out
any information about her son?

Yeah, is he Lil Dynomite?

- I don't know.
- Ugh!

I do know my first date
with Credenza

was big-time dynamite.

Ah, we had such a great workout.

We had our first fight.

We made up.

We discussed children's names...

Bailey, Kayleigh,
and of course, Dave.

[laughs]

We had our first accidental
farts in front of each other.

And then she invited me
to her house tonight

to meet the man who I
accept will always be

number one in Credenza's life.

Channing Tatum.

Her son.

Her son is Channing Tatum?

Her son is Buddy Fudgers.

Her son is Lil Dynomite.

Channing Tatum
is Lil Dynomite?

Ugh, why does everybody keep
saying Channing Tatum is hot?

- Nobody said that.
- But he is though.

No, he's not!

Channing Tatum has sharp knees,
and that's not hot.

That's gross.
All right, whatever.

Can we just come
to dinner with you,

so we can sleuth out
whether Buddy

is Neighborville's own
Lil Dynomite?

You know,
the old Ray would have said

easiest no of my entire life.

But this newer,
somehow younger Ray...

You're not younger.

Newer, younger Ray says,
sure, kids.

Let's go.

Schwoz, to the stars!

♪ Credenza, oh, Credenza ♪

♪ The ten-est of tens-a ♪

♪ ♪

Everyone is entitled to their
opinion about Channing Tatum,

but I just can't
get past his knees.

They're so sharp!
That's not hot.

It's gross.

Where have you been
all my life?

Neighborville, sir.

Oh, really?

Just like Lil Dynomite.

- Huh.
- Who?

Lil Dynomite.
Man, that kid is a real hero.

Mm-hmm.

I wish I was as brave as him,
but I am not.

Oh, really?

Mm-hmm.

You know,
people tell me all the time

my Buddy looks just like
Lil Dynomite.

Oh, really?

Mm-hmm.

But I don't see it.
We are nothing alike.

Oh, really?

Mm-hmm.

Ray, you want to help me
in the kitchen, please?

Oh, really?

Yeah, bring some plates

because you're doing the dishes.

Mm-hmm.

Um, excuse me, Ray.

Yeah, champ.

I want to tell you a secret,

but I don't want my mom to hear.

My secret is this.

I am Lil...
[yelps]

[clears throat] I'm sorry.

I am a little hesitant
to say this,

but I have never
seen my mom happier.

And furthermore, I am a super...

Hard to please person when it
comes to my mom's boyfriends,

but you two,
you're perfect for each other.

Buddy, I don't know
what the deal is

with your whole
father situation.

- Oh, my dad is...
- And I don't want to know.

Oh.

But I do know that...

I'd like to be your new father.

- That's so...
- Ray, you big stud.

Get those smooth knees
over here,

or lose me forever.

Get out of my way.

Man, Ray is great.

I've been meaning to ask
you all before my mom

went on her hours long rant
against Channing Tatum.

How do you all know Ray?
He used to be our teacher.

At our old school.

And you're all
still a part of his life?

What a caring,
generous person Ray is.

[laughs drily]

Oh, you're being serious?

[phones ringing]

Ooh, we got to go.
What's wrong?

It's an emergency...

Pottery class!

Our projects just got
out of the old kiln.

And they need
to be glazed right away.

You guys seeing this?

Yep, emergency pottery class.

We're on it.

Can you, uh, glaze my bowl?

Absolutely, boss.
We got this.

Oh, my gosh.
Speaking of projects, I forgot.

I have a science presentation
due tomorrow.

Got to go finish.

Excuse my quick exit,
ma'ams and sirs.

[sighs] What a great kid.

Mm.

Hey, listen.

I don't want to cut
this evening short,

but in the spirit
of absolute honesty,

I have to leave right now

because I take a : bath
every night,

whether I need it or not.

Are you kidding me?

Maybe.

Ray, I take a : bath
every night,

whether I need it or not.

- Okay, you know what?
- Wow.

- Oh!
- Now, what I want to say...

A little early, boss.

This is the right time.
This feels like the right time.

May your tub bathwater be
as warm as your smile, my love!

What does that even men?

Okay, thank you
for the great evening!

Great chilaquiles, bye!

Oh!

♪ ♪

There he is!

Let's not ask questions...
att*ck!

- Yeah!
- No, no, no, no, no.

Come on, people.

We don't even know
who this guy is.

So who are you, guy?

Blayne.

Blayne what?

You better have a last name.

Kirkpatrick.

So what's in your hand,
Blayne Kirkpatrick?

A banana.

Well, I'll be
the judge of that.

No...

Aw, come on, bro!

- Sorry, bro.
- I don't want it back.

Nice.

So if you're just
Blayne Kirkpatrick,

what's the emergency?

Don't know.

Dude told me
he'd buy me a banana

if I came here and called
in a fake emergency.

Now, who would do that?

That'd be me, ma'ams and sirs.

♪ ♪

Here's your payment,
Blayne Kirkpatrick.

Thanks.

Handsome Sam over there took
a bite out of my first one.

No way, Handsome Sam is here?

I love that guy.

Later, taters.

All: Bye, Blayne Kirkpatrick.

"Iliad," first edition.

Huh.

So you what do you think
of Swellview, Lil Dynomite?

Did you just recently move here?

Sure did.

I figured it'd be easier
to finally get my revenge

on Captain Man if I'm local.

Oh, really?

A lot of people move
to Swellview.

So why did you pay that kid
to call in a fake emergency

at school at : p.m.?

First of all,
I figured Captain Man

would come running
if a school was in danger.

And second,
it's when my mom takes a bath.

Oh, really?

Common time for baths.

Fun fact, Captain Man also takes

a bath every night at : .

Fun fact, he's back
at the Man's Nest right now.

Fun fact,
those jet boots of yours

could take you there
this very moment.

Fun fact,
he would have no idea...

Dude, stop!

There was nothing fun
about those facts!

Well, you just gave me a
great... ow, Jiminy Willickers!

He said it!
He said it!

Okay.

I'm about as dumb
as Handsome Sam,

but even I know that's him.

We lost the bet.

It takes a brave man
to admit defeat.

But I pride myself
in my ability to... oh,

you're already eating
the Choco Crocos.

Tastes like victory.

Well, this was fun.

- Fact.
- No, it wasn't.

Does no one understand
what the word "fun" means?

But I'm off to go catch
a body at the Man's Nest.

Very strange to hear
you say it like that,

and also, we're gonna
follow you to make sure

that doesn't happen.

Oh, I think
you'll be sticking around.

He just said "sticking"
with a rather playful emphasis,

so my guess is he's
about to cover us in ice.

Fun fact, this is not ice.

Quite correct.
It's sticky string.

Oh, I get it.

Goodbye, Danger Force.

Enjoy Captain Man's funeral.

His funeral?

Quick, Mika, get your bagpipes.

All: We're stuck!

Oh, right.

We got to get out of here,

or we're gonna miss
Captain Man's funeral.

We got to get out
of here so we can catch up

with Lil Dynomite and prevent
Captain Man's funeral.

He's gone, Mika.
Let him go.

Oh, my God.

AWOL, can't you teleport us
out of here?

I can't!

My portin' arms are stuck.

Then how are we gonna...

Holy smokes,
it's Handsome Sam.

[gasps] Handsome Sam!

Thank God you're here!

Ooh, I never get
tired of hearing that.

What's up, Danger Force?

It's a real simple one,
today, Handsome Sam.

Ooh, I wouldn't be
so sure about that.

We need you
to cut us out of here.

People, I'm Handsome Sam,
not Intelligent Sam.

I know my strengths, and being
smart is not one of them.

He's right.

Every time he tries to help,

he ends up doing something dumb,

and someone gets hurt!

We have no choice.

Now listen carefully,
Handsome Sam.

There's a pair of
laser-sharpened Danger Scissors

in my pocket.

Just grab them
and cut us out of here.

Sounds like a handsome plan.

- Great.
- [sighs]

First question,
what is a pocket?

- What... no!
- Are you kidding?

You don't know what a pocket is?

I know, no one is more
disappointed in me than me.

[all shouting]

[whistling]

[bird chirping]

[whistling]

[bird chirping]

Oh, I'd sure love
to keep whistling with you,

Mr. Songbird, but I got
to go end Captain Man.

[bird chirping]

And good luck to you too

on all your songbird adventures.

Oh, and say hello
to Mrs. Songbird!

[whistling]

[humming]

Ray, what have I told you

about skipping
when you're in love?

I don't know.
Something dumb.

[metal bangs]
Oh!

Geez, Schwoz,
why didn't you warn me?

Intruder approaching.

Ay! To my safety hole!

[dramatic music]

Nobody intrudes
on my : p.m. coal fire bath

and gets away with it.

♪ ♪

Ooh, whoo.

months ago, you used me

and then tossed my jelly bones
aside like trash.

months ago,
I swore vengeance,

and today, I get that vengeance.

Do you have any last words?

Yeah.

Who are you?

Hand blast!

♪ ♪

Now do you remember?

Honestly, no.

It's Lil Dynomite.

A little songbird tells me
you go by the name

Lil Dinosaur.

But guess what, my young friend?

You just entered a Man's Nest,
where we fight like man.

- Men.
- Men.

Hey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
not cool!

Hey, put me down!

Danger Force!

Assemble!

All:
Handsome Sam, Handsome Sam.

- Ah...
- Getting hotter!

- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Oh!

- Yeah!
- Get it!

- Ah!
- I did it!

I'm wearing scissors!

You sure are, Handsome Sam!

[sighs] Mission accomplished.

Oh, wait, wait, wait!

You need to use the scissors
to cut us out.

Cut you out?

Just give me the scissors.

I don't think that'll work,
but I'm willing

to give it the old handsome try.

Just give it a regular try!
Just give it a regular try!

♪ ♪

[screaming]

I told you!

Handsome Sam
always does something stupid!

And someone always gets hurt!

Ahh!

[bird chirping]

What's that, songbird?
[bird chirping]

[laughs] Yeah.

It was another job well done
by Handsome Sam.

[bird chirping]

♪ ♪

And that's how
bats give birth.

But enough zoology.

It's time to...
Ah!

Whoo, whoo!

You're too late, Danger Force.

I'm about to blast
Captain Man's face into space.

You can't do that!

My face is deeply in love.

What do you know about love?

He's in love with your mom!

What?

Yeah, what?

Captain Man is Ray,
your mom's new boyfriend.

And Lil Dynomite is
Credenza's son, Buddy Fudgers.

You two actually like
each other in real life.

A lot.

You said you'd never seen
your mom so happy before.

Wait, you're my new
friends from school?

Mm, friends is a strong word.

- I'm Miles.
- You are Bose.

Which means that he is Miles,
that's Mika, and that's Chapa.

It's...

Don't blast him
into space, man.

Just, like, be friends.

If your mom loves him,
he can't be that bad, right?

[soft music]

♪ ♪

Ray, is that really you?

Whoo, whoo.

It's me.

And it's me,
Schwoz, from there.

Hey, listen, uh,

I know, Captain Man
hasn't exactly been

your favorite person
in the world.

But your mom is my favorite
person in the world.

Didn't they meet,
like, yesterday?

Stop.

Does my mom know
that you're Captain Man?

Does your mom know
that you're Lil Dynomite?

Let's just both answer
at the same time.

Nice, on three.

Three.
Oh.

- You got to...
- Count backwards?

You gotta go one...

- One, four...
- You know what?

Both: Forget it.
She has no idea.

Looks like you two
have something in common.

You both like to lie to women.

Why do you hate love?

Do you promise to never
tell my mom I'm Lil Dynomite?

Do you promise never to tell
your mom that I'm Captain Man?

Only on one condition.

You promise
to never break her heart.

Promise.

Oh, get in here, sir!

♪ Genuine moments ♪

Sorry, that's my ringtone.

[laughter]
Oh, Brainstorm!

I still have scissors
in my leg!

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

♪ Always on the scene
in the nick of time ♪

♪ The second I see trouble
I know I'll be fine ♪

♪ I'm okay ♪

♪ I'm okay! ♪

♪ Danger ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ ♪

♪ Danger!
One, two, three, Force! ♪