01x05 - The Duel

[bunniefuu]

[WIND WHISTLING]

- APUTI: They're here.

- DODGER: Who? The watch?

APUTI: Spirits. Ghosts.

FLASHBANG: They're in here, all right.

Turn off the lanterns,

you'd see their eyes.

- They'll be watching.

- They change the watch in four minutes.

Move.

GAINES: Forgive me, Father.

It has been 14 hours

since my last confession.

Really, that long? You felt

it couldn't wait till morning?

No. These thoughts haunt my nights.

I'm filled with an

unquenchable fire, Father.

A rage of such purity, that all

I crave is violent retribution.

Yes, well, that's quite natural.

Port Victory is a cesspit.

A pox-ridden sewer.

Everywhere I look, the

stench of filth and scum.

It is a stench below the

very ground we walk on.

Aputi, you stay here.

We'll take the empty one up and

bring the full one back down.

So, I'll be alone down here?

PIKE: I hear voices. Do you hear voices?

- [WHISPERS] Guards.

- They can hear ghosts?

They can hear you, you pillock. Quiet.

RACKHAM: You're hearing things. Come on.

All right. All clear, come on.

GAINES: It seeps through the soil

and has now poisoned my own wife,

turning this once-virtuous woman

into a debauched wastrel,

destined for the fires.

I can see their eyes looking at me now.

- Sorry, whose eyes?

- Sneering eyes

Yes, them.

mocking me, because she has

given herself over to the devil.

- [YELLS] I refuse

- [GASPS]

to be humiliated by these people!

God is challenging me to take a scythe

and cut through this foul effluvium.

All right.

It should be one of these barrels

here. The smell will tell you.

[APUTI BELLOWS]

Aputi, do you have to do that?

APUTI: I can see eyes.

Yes, they're mine.

I thought you said you

don't do crime no more?

- [DOOR OPENS]

- Hide.

I tell ya, I heard voices.

- [APUTI GASPS]

- Oh, my God.

PIKE: You tell me you didn't hear that.

- [WHEEZING]

- [BOTH SHUDDER]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Flashbang.

- What is that you're in?

- Sardines, I think.

- Why didn't you just hide behind it?

- Wise, in hindsight.

Whoa!

Over here. This is it, all right.

Why, does it smell?

It's the fermenting insides of a whale.

- So, yes, it smells.

- And it smells bad, do it?

What part of the "fermenting insides

of a whale" do you not understand?

Not good on smells.

Lost all sense in the Taiwan

expl*si*n. Overdid the gunpowder.

- I thought you lost your hearing, then?

- No, that was Singapore.

There's really not very much "flash"

to your "bang," is there, Flashbang?

It's pretty much all bang.

Now, we're in the whale's

gizzards game? You eat this stuff?

No. This is ambergris.

They use it to make perfume.

And this barrel is worth

its weight in silver.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

[MAN LAUGHING]

You gentlemen seem rather

bedraggled by life's woes.

Aye. We heard things tonight.

Things you cannae unhear, you know?

I always say, "A tumbler of the

old golden wallop lifts the heart."

You just wait there.

My sweet Lady Rottenford, two

of your finest, if you please.

And with what legal tender would

you be paying for these drinks?

You've got me solemn oath,

you will be paid in abundance

just as soon as we manage to

offload this bloody ambergris.

And how will this

miracle be achieved, then?

I'm gonna have me coveys replicate the

exact texture and stink of this stuff,

so not even the whale's wife will

know that we've made the switch.

And in the meantime,

I goes and flogs the original

ambergris for a very pretty return.

Mmm. So, how long will this take?

It will require the, shall we

say, the capaciousness of time.

A few days. A few days.

Waylaying these fine sailors'

departure with some wholesome libations.

Then, you should probably know

the capaciousness of

time is leaving the bar.

Yeah.

Oh, buggering.

Lads!

Lads! Where are you headed?

I've never been so

happy to return to sea.

Captain wants us to sail

tomorrow on the king tide.

No, no, no, you can't.

You know the old sailors' adage,

"Sail on the morrow,

expect much sorrow."

- Weather be on the turn.

- No, it won't.

The weather be bloody clement, actually.

- [THUNDER RUMBLING]

- All right, mate.

That's just a tickle of

drizzle, that's all. Lads!

Lads!

MONKS: Seen your boy

emerge from the bowels

with two others and a barrel.

- Oh, hello. Here he is.

- Somethin' I need to know?

No, only that our boy is

back in the goodly fold.

You got somethin' over him?

Not this time, no.

Just seems that being spurned by a woman

is a great boon to our profession.

Just make sure he don't

get careless and get caught.

- When your boy gets his blood up

- Oi!

Don't tell me how to run the Dodger.

[DODGER AND APUTI GROAN]

How do they turn this

stuff into perfume?

Seen Frenchies do it.

Spices, herbs, alcohol,

stir it in a big drum,

steam it for a long time.

- [DOOR OPENS]

- FAGIN: Listen.

The natural order of the days

ahead has changed direction

in a positive and,

arguably, negative light.

English.

The Duchess of Portland sails

on tomorrow evening's tide.

That's not near enough

time to make a fake.

Sadly, needs dictate we return

the barrel to the docks tonight,

before they discover its absence.

- No, we do not cower. We stay course.

- You will be discovered.

There's no thievin' to

be done if they scrag us.

We're not takin' this back.

You wanted me back in.

Here I am, I am back.

You can work on it in the morgue.

It's already stinking the place out.

Oi! Dodge!

Remember what I always

told you as a little 'un?

A pickpocket needs to

know when to pull out.

And you always had to play it dangerous,

and sometimes, I had

to take a gentle hand

and nab you back from

the edges of calamity.

Well, now, is one of them times.

You can keep your hands to yourself.

I want a win.

FANNY: You've been moping ever

since Dr. Dawkins ruined our dinner.

Come on. Up!

Close them now. Immediately.

No, there'll be none of that.

- Are you feeling any better?

- Yes, I'm completely cured.

- Close the curtains.

- I have a gift to lift your spirits.

- A guillotine?

- Better.

A painting made with these very hands.

It's the story of us.

Our journey here, a house, a kangaroo.

- What are these?

- FANNY: Tree trunks.

I keep seeing these in my

dreams. I'm rather drawn to them.

So, there's no story of us.

Fanny, we're as much prisoners

here as we were in London society.

- Dr. Sneed is here for you.

- [GASPS]

No, for your sister. He

wishes to take her sh**ting.

[SIGHS]

This is an endless world of

bogglingly-stupid dinner parties,

men boasting all night,

and pretending, somehow,

against all evidence,

they're cleverer than us.

They are. That is why

they're in positions of power.

Fine. And stay at home all day,

painting hideous scenes of trees.

LADY JANE: I'm sure she didn't

mean to say those things, Fanny.

She's not well, darling.

Would you draw the curtains, please?

[g*n FIRES]

- Well done. Another bull's eye.

- One of my many gifts.

Here, let me show you.

Oh, I'm afraid I'm not really

interested in sh**ting at these.

Ah, none of that.

I'm a modern man who happens to believe

sh**ting is an essential

skill for women, too. Here.

- Good.

- Yes, thank you.

- A little cock.

- [g*n COCKS]

Look down the barrel with

an eye focused on the sight,

and ever so gently

- Just

- Oh!

Whoo!

- Thank you.

- Mmm.

- It was most exhilarating.

- Yes. Ah.

GAINES: I hear you keep

requesting my presence.

[DARIUS GROANS]

My dear friend,

it is not fitting that a man of

my standing should be treated thus.

Yet, here we are.

I am the victim of a most

egregious misunderstanding.

Pray, do tell.

What you witnessed those long

weeks ago was not as it appeared.

I was working as an

intermediary on your behalf.

Lucien, I was endeavouring to protect

your lady wife's spotless reputation.

By giving her pubic crabs, you mean?

No! Her condition

was the consequence of inefficient

laundry by an infected maid.

When you found us, I was

rushing her to hospice.

So, I see I am in your debt.

And the stolen soldiers' pay?

I swear before God

and all that is sacred,

I have no idea how that

ended up in our carriage.

I do. You were set up.

Indeed, I believe I

know who is responsible.

So, you believe me?

Oh, yes. Indeed.

It was the young surgeon

and his repugnant uncle.

It's only a matter of time before I

catch them in the act and they too hang.

Too?

Well, unless you can explain

how you contracted the very

same pubic crabs as my wife,

you'll most definitely meet the gallows

on whatever charge I choose to conjure.

- SNEED: It's no London, is it?

- BELLE: Thank God for that.

Yet, it is still a place

with enormous possibility,

where one with drive and ambition may

make oneself a great career for oneself.

- Yeah, oneself being male, of course.

- Of course.

But also, for the one whose

companionship one will share with

Could one say things plainly? There

are perfect pronouns for the task.

I'm about to come into

a considerable endowment.

- Mmm.

- My brother, the Honourable James Sneed,

has acquired a licence

in the Spice Islands

and, through filial love,

allowed me a ten percent

share of his nutmeg trade.

You're a surgeon. What use is nutmeg?

My dear Belle, are you

not apprised of its worth?

How sweet.

A large canister of nutmeg

would buy one a house in Mayfair.

But surely, being a surgeon is the

most exciting thing in the world.

Healing people, caring for people.

I would give anything to

have such a profession.

- It's all right, I suppose.

- [SCOFFS]

But now that I am to be Chief Surgeon

upon the professor's retirement, one

I am in a position to offer a companion,

a woman, a life of comfort and security.

Oh, my God, please don't.

Belle, until my brother offered me this,

I did not feel in a

position to speak openly,

but now, I humbly seek

your hand in marriage.

Why?

But you must know how I feel?

No, I have absolutely not the faintest.

Sneed, I've known you for many

years as a friend and a companion.

I never sensed anything deeper.

You don't love me, do you?

Love comes with settling

and companionship.

You must see our families and my

position make this a perfect match.

[SCOFFS]

[CHUCKLES]

It is not yet a ring, but in

its own way, far more valuable.

Nutmeg.

[SNIFFS] Yes, it's not

an unpleasant smell.

So, do I have your blessing to

go and converse with your father?

Uh

Well, one needs time for one

to fully consider one's

one.

[SIGHS]

No, this isn't right.

Ambergris needs to be thicker,

more solid. What have we tried?

A crate of off oysters,

sheep's testicles,

some seaweed, crab carcasses,

and Samuel Dean's liver.

Any whaler worth his salt

will pick this as fake.

It needs to be thicker.

Dodge, Dodge, come here.

Listen, I'm as bricky as anyone.

There's nothin' I like more than

a bit of pilfering done right,

puts a sparkle in the eyes.

But if we can't match this

by the turn of this evening's

tide, they'll be onto us.

They're onto us, anyway. The

moment we open our mouths,

the moment they realise we can't

even read some toff Latin nonsense.

We're not even worth

sitting at their table.

What's that gotta do with anything?

Look, the toffs will never accept us

and neither do we accept the toffs.

That's the human condition.

But don't get us hanged

because you're in a huff

about your fancy skirt.

To hell with it, then. Can't even

stand the smell of that stuff.

Oh, come on! It's no worse

than the Thames at low tide.

RACKHAM: See, my todger is giving

me all kinds of grief, you see,

and we're sailing tonight.

You have classic pox,

and I want you to place this

weight on the end of your member,

thus allowing the exuding of pus.

Then keep bathing it in mercury and

arsenic for the long voyage ahead.

Next.

What's wrong with your head, sailor?

Navigator. Me eyes.

DODGER: Right. Pull them down.

Make sure you take two pills a day.

I was struck when Duchess

of Portland's foresail boom

snapped in a storm

off the northern coast.

Right.

Thank you.

- Next.

- Dodger, while you're busy here,

now would be a good moment

to nudge that barrel shipward.

Yes, fine. Do it.

You need to eat oranges.

You're developing scurvy.

Roll it back, lads.

Preserve me, sir. Is

there naught you can do?

It's me livelihood.

Unless you doctors can fix me,

the Captain has no choice

but to use another navigator.

I'm sorry. There's naught

one can do about it.

Purchase a cane.

You, what is the grave

digger wheeling out?

Samuel Dean's organs,

sir. A large gentleman.

Malodorous in life, apparently.

- Sir! A word, if I may.

- Not now.

I just overheard your sad conversation

with that surgeon just now,

and though I'm not much

given to emotion, I was moved.

Then you know why I do

not wish to converse.

I would ask you don't lose hope.

You should talk to this other surgeon.

He's much better qualified, and

he's done this operation 100 times.

Maybe 200 times and with great success.

It would mean a very minor delay before

the Duchess of Portland sets sail

If you are serious,

the Captain is a relative, I

may yet convince him of the need.

When can I meet this surgeon?

You just leave it with

me, all right? Hang on.

Back, boys, roll it back,

come on. Come on, back.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You need a steady hand. Now, listen.

They do say a man cannot change

tides or oceans, but I, Norbert Fagin,

have managed to delay the

departure of the Duchess of Portland

- by three days.

- How?

- What have you got us into?

- Nothing.

You might have to perform

a very minor operation.

I'm sorry, I can't help you.

The man is completely cross-eyed.

He can't even see a hand

in front of his own face.

But he does have a very

good view of his right ear.

I thought this is what you

wanted. Don't you see the beauty?

It buys us time.

How many times did you

tell him I've done this?

Once. Tell a lie, twice.

Do you know how difficult,

how precise this procedure is?

- No.

- If he moves, I blind him.

You need to have more

confidence in your artfulness.

This is beyond my skill.

Nothing is beyond the Dodger's skill!

Back slang it, lads.

Dodger's gone a wobblin'.

I demand to know why you

were seeing my patient.

I had already made it abundantly

clear his condition is inoperable.

He wanted a second opinion.

From you? Please.

Wouldn't you want a second opinion

if some spoilt,

pompous, upper-class prat

with only basic medical knowledge

told you your career was over?

Never cross me again on

matters medical, Dawkins.

I don't know how things were

done on your side of the city,

but that's not how we do things here.

You will not operate on that man.

And if I find that foul stench

has anything to do with you

or your illiterate friends,

I will see you are all soundly punished.

That's so strange because, you see,

we all thought that that

smell was coming from you.

All right, I will do it.

Hey! Back inside, lads.

Bring that cat to the morgue. It's on.

[PANTING]

BELLE: I'm not hungry, Fanny.

Look, I've drawn you another picture.

Thank you. I will eat it cold.

DODGER: Hello.

- Have you completely lost all sense?

- Quite possibly.

If you have come to apologise for

your behaviour from now weeks ago,

then you must do it formally

and at a proper time.

I will consider whether or

not to accept it. Please go.

Do you know about Strabismus surgery?

What does a criminal

need to know about that?

- You don't know what it is?

- It's the realignment of the eye.

See? I knew you'd know.

Would you happen to have some

medical textbook that might

Yes. Stay here.

Actually, no. Come, I've

got valuable items in here.

You gonna eat this soup?

No, apparently not.

What's that you're holding?

Apparently, a tree.

This way.

"It was first performed in

the 1830s by John Homer Dix.

The surgeon needs

only three instruments,

a fine hook to elevate the conjunctiva,

a bent probe to isolate the tendon,

and scissors for opening

up the conjunctiva."

Pictures. I need pictures.

Yes. Here.

It is so dangerous.

Yeah, but you love that, don't you?

Can you do it?

Yes.

Maybe.

Hmm.

It's important for both of us that we

clear the air about what transpired.

I admit that I said things in

that moment that I now regret.

And I'm equally sure

that you said things

that now, in the cold light

of day, you wish were

Are you feeling any better, sister?

Yes, fine.

FANNY: See, you eat,

and you are well again.

You've had eight turns this

past month. I do count them.

BELLE: I am fine. Go to bed.

Now, what is that awful smell?

Fagin.

It smells like ambergris.

Like what?

Will you wait?

Are you going to apologise to me or not?

No. What for?

For the way you spoke to me.

I was hurt.

And I'm sorry if I

spoke to you abruptly.

But I don't know how to talk to

women. I've never really had to.

I am similarly rarely interested

in anything a man has to say.

And I forgive you.

Good.

Don't invite me to any

more stupid dinner parties.

Your lot will never accept me.

Why would you want them to accept you?

You have no idea how boring we all are.

Not all of you.

Here you go, sir.

Can you just cover your

right eye for me, please?

Now, how many fingers am I holding up?

Two?

Lower your arm.

Now, how many?

Four.

You have almost no vision in

your right eye either, do you?

Shapes mainly, left

was me last good eye.

Tell me why you like being a sailor.

With respect, ma'am, I'm not

just a sailor, I'm a navigator.

Went to sea when I was 12,

worked on a hundred ships,

most of them terrible.

But I learnt, ma'am.

Everything there is to

know about the oceans

and currents, the winds, and the stars.

You have no idea what it feels like

when those around trust

their fortune to you.

You should know my colleague

is an inveterate liar.

And not only have I never

performed this surgery before,

but nobody in this country has.

I see.

Oh.

DODGER: What I can tell you,

is the condition in your right eye will

only continue to get worse with time,

to the point where you

might never see again.

Now, if we try and we fail here tonight,

then you will lose your

vision in both eyes.

However, on the slim

chance that we succeed,

you might get to navigate again.

So, what are we waiting for?

All right.

Strap him to the table,

please. As tight as you can.

I need your help with this one, Belle.

Can you pass me the hook, please?

Thank you.

That's it. Good.

Now hold this very taut.

Hold still.

BELLE: Do you think it worked?

We won't know until

we remove the bandages.

At Government House,

I heard your sister say that

this was your eighth att*ck.

What did she mean by that?

She imagines things.

What the navigator said,

did that sound true for you?

It was the greatest day of my life

when I got promoted to sublieutenant.

They gave me my own bed.

I'd never had my own bed before.

And my own room.

Must be wonderful to be at sea.

Travel the world.

It was.

It was the best and the worst of times.

I saw all kinds of things I

didn't even think were possible.

Wild animals and festivals.

In Hong Kong, I saw this giant

paper dragon with 50 people under it

and as they moved, this dragon

appeared to dance and breathe fire.

It was quite amazing.

Where the devil is Dawkins?

Lady Belle.

I can scarce believe my eyes.

I insist you return to

Government House immediately

and we will discuss this later.

Or possibly not.

I have always known you to be a

reprehensible, arrogant upstart,

with no respect for your betters.

I have enormous respect for my betters.

It is just there are none around here.

You have directly performed an

operation I had forbidden you to do.

That I specifically said was not a safe

operation in the patient's interest.

And I agree with your diagnosis.

A surgeon of your skill level,

Sneed, it would have been impossible.

I am to be Head Surgeon

here in two months.

You will no longer have a role here

and I will ensure you have it

nowhere else in the country.

You can crawl back to

your own kind, Dawkins.

Is that how you fight in Mayfair?

GAINES: I believe the sulphuric

miasma permeating the town

is in reality manifested

from below, not above.

GOVERNOR: That be unusual,

wouldn't it, Captain Gaines?

What we are smelling now,

is evil's canker, writ large.

Perhaps get the captain a chair, Father.

I am fine where I stand.

I am more inclined to the view

that the smell emanates from the

direction of the sewerage pipes

that the Governor approved last year.

Gravity being what it is.

Mmm. In what sense, my darling?

In the sense that the raw sewage now

flows and pools in the centre of town,

not away from it.

Hard to say, one way or the other.

No, it's not a riddle, darling.

Let me speak to the engineers.

Engineers cannot fix evil.

Have you heard from your lovely

wife lately, Captain Gaines?

She still visiting relatives?

Yes, well, thank you, Captain Gaines.

GOVERNOR: Oh, uh

Would a possible solution

be to run the pipes

from the centre of town into the

harbour, where it will have no effect?

BELLE AND LADY JANE: No.

The most exciting news.

There is to be a duel in town.

Don't be silly, duels are illegal.

Not necessarily.

I rather think it might be over moi.

It does eliminate one possible suitor,

but what does one wear to a duel?

Black is foreshadowing, but green?

Who is involved?

Rainsford!

- What?

- You cannot do this.

- This is as much my fault as his.

- The man has pushed me too far.

We will settle it like gentlemen.

One of us will. Pistols at dawn.

Then I flatly refuse to marry you.

- Enjoy your stupid nutmeg.

- Belle.

Lady Belle. Please.

There's no glimmer in this.

There's no glimmer anywhere.

We got it! We got it!

It took Nellie Walpole's

spleen and the cow tripe,

but we got there in the end.

Just a sample.

Perfect smell, match and look!

Wonderful! Wonderful!

Now you can stop buggering about

with them swords and listen to this.

I have procured a buyer,

one Fettiplace Bellers,

a man so unscrupulous,

he makes me skin itch,

and he is prepared to pay 80

florins for the genuine article.

Then we have plenty

of money to celebrate

when I teach this fool a lesson.

Look, if you k*ll this

toff, they'll hang you!

And if he kills you, they won't care,

but I will be back on the chain g*ng.

You idiot! You absolute dunderhead!

At last! Someone who sees what I see.

[SIGHS]

What were you thinking?

I am tired of being

treated like some mangy dog.

You are not a mangy dog.

And he is an idiot for

treating you like one.

Apologise and withdraw. Please.

And bow down to his arrogance? No.

And I'm not going to k*ll him, I

will barely scratch the pompous git.

Don't worry, I spent

ten years in the Navy.

I am a master with the sword.

Good. Because it is

pistols, pistols at dawn.

And he is a master sh*t.

Oh.

I do not have time to fuss

about missing warehouse stock.

No, with respect, sir,

but this barrel, it's

worth a king's fortune,

and now it's as empty as me head.

- Well

- I need you to arrest two men.

Will these two do? On

what charges, my lady?

On charges of planning to be

utterly stupid and fight a duel.

- Who would be doing that?

- Two young surgeons.

Really? So, Jack Dawkins is involved.

I can only charge them if it goes ahead.

Intention is not a crime, sadly.

The benefit for me on such

occasions is that after the duel,

there's usually only one to arrest.

I hear Sneed is a fine sh*t.

Sir, there was ambergris in the barrels.

And our skipper will have both our heads

if it's not back on there when we sail.

Ambergris? I imagine the

smell would be devilish.

- I've never noticed.

- Never noticed. No.

Like the smell emanating

from the hospital.

This is turning into a

fine day. Good lady, I

I would love to help you boys,

but the old back isn't

the friend it used to be.

What's in the barrel? Looks heavy.

It's food for the widows, my lady.

How very admirable of you all.

And you, delivering it in person.

Can one try a mouthful?

Their need is greater, my lady.

I only ask because I

heard Captain Gaines

is currently heading towards the wharf

to locate a missing barrel of

something called Was it ambergris?

But I know you wouldn't be so utterly

stupid as to risk everything for that.

Captain Gaines will have no issue with

good men engaged in a charitable cause.

Hmm

Lobster bisque?

Move.

Come on.

Unlock it.

Smash it.

[DOOR SMASHING]

Go! Move!

No. The barrel's stuck.

Go.

[GASPS]

It's this one, sir.

Right here. Empty as

Ow!

Remove the lid.

Ugh!

Uh

I swear, guv, just less than an

hour ago, it was completely empty.

This is black magic. This

place is full of devils.

We heard 'em cryin' out.

Flog them both for wasting my time.

- No, sir.

- No.

Sir!

Now, how many fingers?

Forty-seven.

[LAUGHS]

- Thank you, surgeon.

- You're welcome.

You know, being blind there,

it heightens other senses.

I swear I smelled something,

and not a hospital smell.

But now, you have restored my

sight, the smell seems gone.

[CHUCKLES]

There you go, Aputi.

Flashy, well done, my friend.

I shall see you all in the morrow.

What's this I hear about our

boy fighting a duel tomorrow?

Didn't take long for him

to get reckless now, did it?

Now, I've gotta go slash

some other geezer's throat

just to keep Jackie boy

safe, till we needs him.

That's a very good idea. And

make Dodger the main suspect?

Get back down in the drains,

let me deal with this.

If he dies tomorrow, all

our plans die with him.

Remember that.

I've never witnessed a duel

before. I've always wanted to.

I've seen a pugilist batter

another pugilist to death,

and I rather enjoyed that.

Where are you going to sh**t him?

I just want it over.

However this turns out, I am

mostly grateful to have known you.

And likewise, Dodge. Life won't

be the same without you, you idiot.

DODGER: Since when does

a priest officiate a duel?

Now, for God's sake, don't toy with him

like you did with that Belgian in

Antwerp 'cause that was horrible.

And go for the heart. No

more sh**ting in the face.

A lot of these toffs

prefer an open casket. Ah!

The Rottenford duelling p*stol.

Your favourite, isn't it?

Gentlemen, are you prepared

to settle this amicably?

Don't you dare.

Ah.

Wonderful. Now, that being the case,

seconds, ensure the weapons are loaded.

Has, uh, Dr. Sneed made

his funeral arrangements?

He didn't believe that

would be necessary.

Really? Well, we can always

talk about that afterwards.

You must take ten paces each,

turn and fire on my signal.

All clear?

Then let us proceed with

the festive proceedings.

Come.

Here.

There.

[g*ns COCK]

One, two,

three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine, ten!

GOVERNOR: Cease this immediately!

I'm told, rather unsportingly,

that this town cannot survive

without its two surgeons.

Lower your weapons.

Now, the rules are very clear.

In circumstances such as these,

the seconds must assume their place.

- What?

- [CHUCKLES]

Hold up. Is that a thing? I

don't think that's a thing.

No. This is madness.

I don't think either

is a suitable suitor.

No. This is not how

I want to view a duel.

No, in England, the second is

usually thanked kindly for his time,

and then, very often financially

compensated for all

the emotional stress.

Everybody goes home happy. It's lovely.

- No. The Governor is right.

- There we go.

I'm from a good family,

dating back to 1256.

- I withdraw my allegation.

- Please, stop this.

- I apologise. Unreservedly.

- No. Too late.

- Stop this.

- Honour must be served.

Dodge.

There.

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine, ten!

Fire!

[g*ns FIRE]

[SCREAMING IN PAIN]

My Lord!

This one looks inoperable, Dr. Dawkins.

He will need a cane if he survives.

What we have here,

is a man injured in

his quest for honour.

He is also my Head Surgeon

- and will replace me in the future.

- [SIGHS]

For this reason, it requires

the steadiest of hands,

as I attempt the very dangerous

procedure of amputating his leg,

a foot above the knee.

Now, if you'll just bite down on this.

Tim

Help me.

Half an hour ago, you wanted to k*ll me.

This does beg the question, "What

would you do in my position?"

I will give you your

job back. I guarantee it.

Just please, don't let him amputate.

Yes.

Here, Prof, let me wipe your brow.

Apologies, gentlemen,

there will be no show today.

As you can see, the professor

is overcome with emotion.

[CROWD GROANING]

Later today, we'll be

amputating Spencer Shaw's arm,

which will be more

exciting. Come back for that.

Really?

[SNEED GROANS]

Now, I assume you will be maintaining

your strong stance against anaesthetic?

Give it to me, damn you.

Thank you, I won't need you on this

one. You can tend to the professor.

Three trained professionals

are in this room.

One is the patient, the other is me.

And one is a complete fool.

Yes. Quite possibly.

I'm sorry, I can't remember.

Which leg am I cutting off again?

Dawkins

BELLE: Surely, you're

not removing his leg.

No. Just removing b*llet, unfortunately.

If it was me, I'd be

shaving off his eyebrow.

You make the first incision.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]