20x01 - Visiting Day

[bunniefuu]

Ow ♪

♪ Butterfly in the sky ♪

♪ I can go twice as high ♪

♪ Take a look, it's in a book ♪

♪ A reading rainbow ♪

♪ I can go anywhere ♪

♪ Friends to know
and ways to grow ♪

♪ A reading rainbow ♪

♪ I can be anything ♪

♪ Take a look, it's in a book ♪

♪ A reading rainbow ♪

♪ Reading rainbow ♪

Captioning made possible by
u.s. Department of education

Meant to be together,

But often kids are separated
from one or both parents

Because of problems
like divorce or even death.

There's another reason

Why some kids live
without their mom or dad.

It's because that parent
made a bad choice,

Broke the law,

And ended up going to prison.

Now that parent
actually lives in prison,

And oftentimes, very far away.

Now a parent who lives
in prison can't leave.

And if their families
want to see them,

They actually have to go
to the prison to visit,

And they're only allowed in
on certain days.

The little girl in this story
certainly knows what it's like

To wait for one of those days.

This is her story,
and it's called "visiting day."

Narrator: "visiting day,"

Written by jacqueline woodson.

"Only on visiting day

"Is there chicken frying
in the kitchen at 6 a.m.,

"And grandma humming
soft and low,

"Smiling her secret
just-for-daddy-and-me smile.

"And me lying in bed,

"Smiling my just-for-grandma-
and-daddy smile.

"And maybe daddy is already up,

"Brushing his teeth,
combing his hair back,

"And saying, "yeah,
that pretty little girl of mine

"Is coming today."

"With all the men around him
looking on jealous-like,

"Cause they wish they had

"A little girl
of their own coming.

"Only on visiting day do I stand
patiently at the bus stop,

Holding tight to grandma's hand
until everybody's inside."

[Bus engine]

"And only on visiting day
do I get to tell daddy

"Everything that has happened
over the month,

"While I sit in his lap
and he pulls on my braids,

"Smiling his big me-and-grandma-
have-been-gone-forever smile,

"Laughing his big laugh,

"Showing me and grandma off
to his friends,

"Pressing peppermints
into my hand

"And kisses
against grandma's cheek.

"Grandma says it's not forever
going to be like this.

"She says one day,
we'll be able to wake up

"And have daddy right there
in our house again.

"And we won't have to take
long bus rides once a month,

"And walk home from the bus stop
hand in hand,

"Feeling a little sad,
already starting to miss daddy.

"Grandma says
all it takes is time,

"A little time.

"And while we're holding out
waiting for daddy to come home,

"We can count our blessings,
and love each other up,

"And make biscuits and cakes

"And pretty pictures
to send daddy.

"And in the early evening,
if it's a little chilly outside,

"We can sit out back,
bundled up in blankets,

"And make each other laugh.

And make big plans for when
daddy comes home again."

Not all of us have experienced

What it's like to have
a parent in prison,

But millions of children have.


In this country

Has a mother or father
in prison right now,

And they know
the happy feelings,
and the sad ones,

That surround visiting day.

But being a prisoner's kid
isn't only hard on that one day.

It's difficult all the time.

It affects what you do,
how you live,

And how you think and feel
every single day.

The gooden family
knows firsthand

How a prison sentence
changes your world.


Hopeton gooden,

Went to prison,

Leaving the family
to struggle on its own.

When I was 1 year old,
when my father went into jail.

Since I was little,
I didn't have him there for me,

Like, to teach me how to throw
footballs or anything like that.

My mother was working 3 jobs
when my dad went to jail.

Some give up the first time
the man is sentenced.

They just say,
"well, I'm finished with him."

I was really hurt bad.

Burton: while their dad
is in jail,

Malcolm and maleke
live with their mom,

Older brother chris,

Sister nikki,

And 3 grandchildren.

It's hard having
a family member in jail

Because when you want
to see them,

And you want to spend
vacations and holidays

And their birthdays
and stuff like that,

You can't because they're away.

And what makes me most upset

Is all the christmases
and birthdays that we missed.

My mom had a struggle with me
and my brothers and my sister

With nobody else to help us.

He's still my dad,

But I hardly
don't even know him.

That's the whole thing about it.

How are you doing?

Woman: I feel like I have
to take over as parent

Since I was 16 years old,
which is a little rough.

You know,
having to work a second job

And trying to steer
your brothers in the right way

To make sure that, you know,

The streets don't take over
and stuff like that.

Man: my mother was
working two jobs,

So me and nikki had to help
with malcolm and maleke.

So it was like we was forced

To become responsible
at a young age.

Woman: it's just been living
paycheck to paycheck.

The beginning of the month,
you get what you need,

And in the middle,
we make sacrifices.

Man: my name is hopeton gooden.

I am 46 years old.

I have been here in sing sing
about 8 years.

It's extremely hard.

I'm paying for my crime.

I'm paying for my mistake.

Burton: for hopeton gooden
and other inmates,

Prison means living
without freedom or family.

Hopeton: maleke and malcolm,

They're--i'm sure
that they're hurt.

They're--you know,
they're feeling the pain.

Maleke: I was angry.

I felt really angry.

Burton: before their dad
went to prison,

The family owned a good business

And had plenty of money
to live on.

They also owned their own home,

And malcolm and maleke
had lots of space.

But prison changed all that.

The family lost everything.

Now irene gooden and the kids
struggle every day

Just to have enough to eat.

...christopher and myself,
we had the sleeper train.

Maleke: I know kids
that are going through
situations like me,

But their moms and dads just
abandon them and just left them.

But my mom stayed right by me,

Right by my side.

My mother was working 3 jobs
when my dad went to jail.

Then she got injured at work
and she had to stop working,

So I had to step in
and help her.

I'm home.

Irene: recently I had
a little surgery,
you know, done,

And malcolm made me
breakfast every day

When I first came home
from the hospital.

Nikki:
I got it.

Maleke: I don't think any kid
knows how to cook around my age.

If I was to go over
any of my other friends' house,

They wouldn't know how to make
what I know how to make.

Just like that.

Malcolm: I don't mind
helping out with chores
around the house

So my mom doesn't have
to bend over and hurt her back.

Maleke: what would
make me really happy

Is knowing that
my mother's happy.

I love my mom so much for how
much she had to go through,

And for not giving up.

We're really just being a family

And staying together
to be strong.

Burton: what's missing most
in the boys' lives

Is their dad.

Maleke: since I was little,
I didn't have him there for me.

It makes me feel angry.

It feels like he was
just taken away from me.

I love my dad.

Malcolm: and there's
a part of me
that doesn't like him.

Because my mom did
everything for me,

He didn't do nothing for me.

Only a little bit of stuff.

I'm able to love my dad.
I could never say that I don't.

Burton: the only time
the boys can see their dad

Is on visiting day.

This visiting day falls
right before hopeton's birthday.

Chris and maleke
and malcolm,

We're going to go up to see
your father on tuesday

And take him some stuff.

And we can get him
a gift for his birthday,

Because his birthday
is this month.

What about the one
that nikki said?

I think we should...

Burton: the kids decide
to buy him a shirt

With some money they've saved.

Malcolm: I can get him
one of those button-up shirts.

Irene: something that
he's allowed to have.

You know the colors
they don't allow him to have.

Burton:
but there are strict rules

About buying gifts
for prisoners.

Only certain colors and styles
are allowed.

Maleke, what are
the colors

That your father
can't have?

Green, orange,
black, and blue.

Irene: right,
that's right.

Because those are
the same colors that
the officers wear,

And they can't
have colors

That the officers wear.

Burton: hopeton is also
gearing up to see his family,

But he keeps his excitement
under control.

Like most inmates,

He spends many hours
missing his wife and kids

And wishing he could
live at home with them.

Visiting days are the only times
that he can be with his family

Or have any contact
with the outside world.

Waiting for these visits
can be very hard.

Time passes slowly for inmates.

Life on the inside is limited
and very boring.

Prisoners spend many hours
in small, cramped cells,

Trying to sleep

Or read

Or exercise.

Some inmates live in wards,

Large rooms that
prisoners have to share.

There is very little privacy.

Everyone eats at the same time

And there's no tv.

The only way to really pass
the time between visiting days

Is to go to classes
or work in the prison.

Their circumstances
always remind them

That they are separated
from the ones they love.

Hopeton: visiting day is
the most important day
for any inmate.

It's always like
a sweet anticipation.

You know that
your family is coming.

It's the only time you get
to interact with your family

And feel that love,
you know, that kinship.

It's extremely important.

Burton: when a family is
waiting to see each other
on visiting day,

The pressure is very intense.

Everyone feels
a jumble of emotions:

Anticipation, excitement,
fear, worry.

They all want so badly
for the day to be perfect

That they can't help
but have questions and doubts,

Like, "will this visit
be a good one?

"And what if it isn't?

What if my parent has changed?
What if I've changed?"

And the most important
question of all

For the prisoner and the family,

"In spite of everything,
am I still loved?"

Burton: hopeton gooden
is in a prison called sing sing.

It is surrounded
by very high walls.

Hundreds of correction officers
guard the facility.

It takes his family
about 4 hours

To travel there to visit.

Maleke: sing sing is huge.

It has a lot of windows
and bars and metal detectors.

And the scary part about it is
that there's too many doors.

I didn't know--
the first time we went up there,

I didn't know what door
to go through and I got lost.

Irene: the kids are cranky
because they get up so early.

They're hungry and, you know,

They just want to get in
to see their father.

Maleke: we have to go
through the first guards,

Who sign everything up
and, like, process everything

So that my dad
can be called down.

Nikki: I feel like
the process is hard on kids.

But for most kids,

If they want to see
their parents,

They have to go through it,
you know.

Maleke: we have to go
through a metal detector,

Take our belts off,
take our shoes off,
empty out our pockets.

No wallets, no belts.

Nikki: the process makes
you feel like you're a prisoner,

You're a convict yourself.

They want you don't
wear certain colors.

You got to go in there...

"Why do you have this on?

"Oh, take off your belt
and your shoes.

We want to make sure
there's nothing in your shoes."

It just makes you feel
embarrassed

And stuff like that
when you're up there.

Maleke: I brung my dad
some shirts for his birthday.

They've got to go
through the package room.

We don't get to, like, see him
get it or anything like that.

The guards,
they have it brung to his cell.

Guard: good morning.

Good morning.

Good morning.
Right hand, please.

Hopeton: until you hear
your name called over
the pa system,

That time is when,
you know, yeah!

Excitement, you're looking
forward to seeing your family.

Irene: I don't see him.

Girl:
he's there! Papa!

Maleke: go get papa.

I don't get no hugs
from nobody?

Why you hiding?

Girl: dad! Dad!

Hopeton: who's this
little girl?

It's my little
granddaughter.

Mmm.

My granddaughter.

Come here, nikki.

Burton: the family hasn't
been together for so long,

There's a great deal
of catching up to do.

Hopeton:
you can't really--

You know, you can't
stand up tall and strong
like a man.

Burton: this is also
their only chance

To share things face to face.

And now that the kids are older,

There are certain things
they want to know.

I asked him what he did
to get locked up

Or how did he get up in there.

Are you going to tell us
how you got in here

Or are you going
to keep it a secret?

You don't know?

No.

You know that.

You never told us.

I'm sure you know,
though.

I don't know!

I don't really like
to talk about it.

That's not enough
info?

Ok, I sh*t somebody.

Wow.

You didn't know that
all along?

Girl: papa,
you sh*t
somebody.

You've never
known that? No?

Burton: hopeton used a g*n
on someone during an argument.

Fortunately,
he didn't commit m*rder,

Because the person lived.

But the incident is something
he rarely discusses.

Malcolm: I felt frightened.

The word "sh*t."

I thought
he just robbed somebody.

That's how the story
came out to me,

Because they didn't want
me and my brother

To know the real story.

Burton: hopeton masks
his disappointment in himself.

We had a disagreement.

We had an argument,

And it got a little heated.

That's why you can't
lose control sometimes,

When you have a disagreement
with people.

You shouldn't lose control
of your emotions,

You shouldn't get angry
enough to want to hurt
anyone.

Because it could always lead
to situations like this.

Malcolm: why did he do it?

If you do the crime,
you have to do the time.

He knows better to do--
not to do nothing.

I think that it was stupid.

Maybe if he would have thought
before what he did,

He probably wouldn't be there.

Malcolm: but half of it makes
me feel like he deserves to,

And some of it makes me feel
like he doesn't.

Hopeton: I want you
to understand, though,

That's not something
that I'm proud of.

I don't want you
to get the impression

That it's something
that I am proud of

Or something that
I would do again.

Because, as you know,
that's why I'm in here.

And not only have
I been suffering
for the past 8 years,

You guys have been
suffering, too, right?

You like the fact
that I've been in here?

No.

No? Ok. So i, you know--

Now when I look back
and think about
what I did,

I wish I had
the discipline then
to turn and walk away.

Whenever
you find yourself
in a situation...

Hopeton, voice-over: initially
when I got locked up,

When I had to speak to them

About problems
that they were having,

It was a little hard for me,

Because it's difficult sometimes
trying to give someone advice

When you're not doing
the right thing yourself.

It's extremely hard.

Hopeton:
got to start over.

Burton: difficult family matters
can make a visit very stressful.

In sing sing,
there's a family center

That helps families relax
and feel more at home.

They can unwind, play games,
and read together.

Hopeton: all right,
so you read some
and I'll read some.

You read
the first page.

Nikki: what
is it called?

Oh. "The visiting day."

"Visiting day." Wow.

Malcolm, voice-over:
I read a book with
my father and my niece

Called "visiting day,"

And I actually
visited my father on that day.

Hopeton: ok, you don't
want to read this one?

Ok. "And only
on visiting day

"Do I get to tell daddy

"Everything that has
happened over the month,

While I sit in his lap
and he pulls on
my braids--"

Burton: but no matter how close
a family feels during a visit,

When visiting day ends,
they must separate again.

Prisoners go back
to their cells,

And families go home
without them.

Fellas,
it's that time,
unfortunately.

Ok?

So we've got
to say good-bye till
the next time, ok?

Irene: we better
be getting home.

Come on.

Oh, you first.

Mmm?

Hopeton, voice-over:
there was a time in the past

That they would ask me
all the time,

"Why can't you come with us?
Why--you know."

And as a small child,
they don't know.

They don't realize
what's going on.

And it's really hard to give
them an intelligent answer

Because they can't grasp
that you're in prison

And you're incarcerated,
you can't come with them.

Girl: no! No!

Maleke: sometimes
I do have mixed emotions,

Like, when I'm excited
I'm going to see him.

Like, "yeah!"

And then
at the end of the visit,

I'll get real sad,
because I've got to leave

And then I have
to leave him there.

And then, it's like,
wishing he could
go home with you.

You all right?

Yeah.
Ok?

Malcolm: it's sad,

Because we get to leave
and he doesn't.

[Indistinct]
not going nowhere.

Ok, nikki.

Oh, great.

Hopeton, voice-over:
the main thing is

That I know that they love me.

That is the main thing.

Irene:
group hug, group hug.

Check this.
Love the group hug.

Burton: inside,
it's almost unbearable
to leave a parent behind.

But they have no choice:

It's something
that they just must do.

No one wants to say
the last good-bye.

Everyone wishes
things were different.

[Sighs]

Malcolm: the hardest part
is saying good-bye to him
and waving.

Hopeton: it's hard
saying good-bye, you know,

Especially seeing them
look back and just that...

That...hurt, you know.

It's hurtful. It is.

[Door locked]

As emotional
as a visiting day may be,

It's one of the few ways
that kids and parents
can keep in touch.

And families that stay connected
during difficult times

Have a much better chance
of surviving the crisis.

But every family is different,

And every child
who's living without a parent

Has his or her own way
of looking at it.

Here are 3 books
with different perspectives

That can help us all
understand better,

But you don't have to take
my word for it.

I'm tempest.
I just finished a great book.

It's called
"mama loves me from away."

It's about a little girl
and her mother.

One day, the mama went away.

She went to prison,
and then everything changed.

The little girl lived
with her grandmother.

She missed her mom a lot.

I can relate to this book
because when I was little,

My dad was in prison.

But now he's out.

This book really got to me

Because I realized that
this happens to other kids.

My full name is
gabrielle jordan brown,

And I just read
this very serious book

Called "let's talk about
when your parent is in jail."

It said that true friends
would treat you the same way,

No matter if your parent went
to jail or made a bad choice.

My favorite part of the book
was the last chapter,

Which was life after jail.

It was definitely
the most interesting,

And it told you how your family

Will treat your parent
after prison.

I deeply recommend
this book for you.

My name is damian crispin,

And I've just read
"finding the right spot."

"Finding the right spot"
is about a young girl
and her mother.

The little girl in the story's
mother can't take care of her

Because she's an alcoholic
and she drinks too much.

Her social worker
took her away from her mother

And put her into foster care

With a woman that
she calls aunt dane.

When she goes to live
with aunt dane,

Aunt dane decides that
she needs a best friend,

And she gets a dog named jake.

At first, when the dog
and the little girl

Don't know each other very well,

The dog won't let her pet him.

She starts petting him
in different places,

And she finds the right spot.

In the end,
they became great friends.

I think it enabled me
to understand

What kids in foster care
go through every day.

Burton: hopeton gooden is
nearing the end of his sentence.

In a few months,
he will come home.

His return will mean
big changes for everyone.

Maleke: before I go to sleep,

I'm thinking about,
what's the next day
going to be like?

And how life is going to be
when my dad comes home.

Malcolm: it's going to be
hard to get used to,

Waking up every morning

With my father and my mother
in the room.

Burton: although they are
uncertain of how things
will be with hopeton back,

They are sure of one thing:

The separation has not destroyed
their love for each other,

Only strengthened it.

Maleke: something positive
that has come out of this

Is that my whole family
has learned to stick
by each other's side,

And try to be there
for each other.

Burton: even with dad at home,

The goodens will face
many challenges.

And there will be some big ones.

The boys will have
to deal with the stigma

Of having been a prisoner's kid.

And that people will assume

They're going to follow
in hopeton's footsteps.

Maleke: I want to be
looked upon as a good kid.

I don't want to be put
in a different category
from everybody else

Because I have a parent in jail.

I'm the same as everybody else.

Burton: kids are never
responsible for the mistakes

That their parents
and family members make,

And they shouldn't be
treated badly because of it.

We should never let
prejudice or misunderstanding

Keep us from seeing
people as they are.

A prisoner's kid is just a kid,

Who needs friends
who can listen and understand.

And who knows, maybe someday
that friend might be you.

I'll see you next time.

Burton: today's
"reading rainbow books"

Are "visiting day,"
by jacqueline woodson,

Illustrated by james e. Ransome,

Published by scholastic press,
a division of scholastic, inc.;

"Finding the right spot:
when kids can't live
with their parents"

By janice levy,

Illustrated by whitney martin,
published by magination press;

"Let's talk about when
your parent is in jail,"

By maureen k. Wittbold,

Photo illustrations by
bill stanton, phyllis piccardy,
and ira fox,

Published by
the rosen publishing group;

"Mama loves me from away,"
by pat brisson,

Illustrated by laurie caple,

Published by
boyds mills press, inc.