01x01 - I'm Watching You

[bunniefuu]

This season on

Keeping Up With the Kardashians...

Original Air Date on August 22, 2010

So I could teach her to swim.

Yeah.

The big 10 point guard can't swim.

Kim, you are the

only single one.

Yeah.

This is Kim's new

bodyguard.

We have to work

professionally.

Someone who wanted to

get set up with you.

He plays football.

I don't want to date

another football player.

Who cares?

Miles Austin.

My wish would be to

get the hell away from

her family.

Kourt, are you moving

to New York?

She's going

to leave us.

If we're together,

you don't text other

Whores!

This feels really good.

I don't want my wife

fooling around with some

young kid!

Kris I just

feel like everything happens

for a reason.

We've never seen you

and dad fight like that.

I'm just sick and

tired of all of this!

for dinner.

I'm just gonna make Kendall's

favorite pasta if nobody else

has a vote.

It's not my favorite

pasta anymore.

You make it every single

night, ma.

Okay, well, I don't

make it every night.

You actually do make

the same food every

single night.

Okay, now nobody gets a

vote because I'm tired of the

bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch.

May I have your

attention?

What?

As some of you may

know, a few weeks ago...

You won a gold medal.

No. My wedding ring

broke.

What?!

It did?

I've never had my

wedding ring off in 19 and a

half years.

I got the ring back.

I think what we should do is we

should have a little ceremony,

renew our vows.

Come on in here, honey.

I just Up

the cake, so just hang on,

Romeo.

What an annoying

woman.

Are you sure you want

to get remarried right now?

Okay, let's do this.

I gotta make pasta.

All right, stand

right here.

Hold Mason.

He's my best man.

He holds the ring.

Kim, don't do that!

Come on, honey.

I'm wearing white.

She's wearing white.

I have gathered you

all here today for this joyous

occasion.

I, with this ring...

I, with this ring...

...Promise to love

you...

...Promise to love

you...

...Be kind to you...

...Be kind to you...

...Always have

sex with you.

Kris ...Always

have sex with you.

Please say, "I do."

I do.

Yay!

You have to kiss

first.

I don't think he

can lift her.

This is all awkward.

You weren't this

heavy before.

This is weird.

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bunim-murray productions

He wants a boob, honey.

You don't have a boob, okay?

hi, how are

you?

What are ya doin'?

Mom, one time we

were fighting about Scott, and

she was like saying that

that's how Scott talks.

Scott doesn't talk

like that.

Kris he's

a gangsta.

Scott doesn't have

an accent, but he has a

high-pitched voice.

Kris no,

he has an accent.

And he wants a piece of pizza.

Ever since Scott

and I got back from Miami, we

probably see each other every

couple days.

I think it's important that

Scott sees Mason whenever

he wants.

Scott has definitely been making

some great steps towards

bettering himself.

He's been sober since Miami.

Hi, Buddy.

I'm also selling my

condo right now, and I've

decided that it's best that I

live with Khloe for now, where

Rob's there, Khloe's there,

lamar's there.

There's plenty of extra hands to

help me out with Mason.

I've given Scott so

many chances.

I used to live with Scott.

It's all, but he's always,

"I'm trying,

I'm trying."

It's always that.

I'm over it.

Like you know what?

It's-- people have their limits.

Scott has messed up

consistently.

Literally, it's like

a merry-go-round.

It happens every

four to six months.

Can I get you to shut

your Up?

So if anyone thinks

that I'm being a little harsh, a

little aggressive, please spend

a day in my shoes, and maybe

you'll feel the exact same way.

We're supposed to

accept who he is and these

outbursts and things that

happen.

And then it's our turn to have

a moment, he gets to walk away.

I mean, why are we supposed

to put up with it and not

walk away?

In the big picture,

when you are dating somebody,

it's as good as the relationship

will ever get.

Ever.

Ever.

You get married to him, it's

only gonna make it more

difficult 'cause now you got a

contract.

This is so beautiful.

This is like we're in Italy,

honey.

It is like in Italy.

It's gorgeous.

Come in!

Hey, Kim, this is

absolutely gorgeous!

Thank you!

Do you love it?

This is amazing!

So a lot has gone on

in the past month or so

since Miami.

Reggie and I broke up.

And at first it was really

tough living your life so

public, seeing your relationship

play out in all the tabloids.

But now I am over it.

I'm single and I am absolutely

loving life.

Since I'm not in a

relationship, the one thing I've

just been diving into and

obsessed with right now is my

new house.

Hey, the maceman

is here.

What's happening, Buddy?

Kim, this looks so

amazing.

It's kind of like

my relationship.

All my clutches will go there.

Oh, my God,

I love the chandelier!

I'm like nurturing it

and spending a lot of time there

and just making sure that

everything is perfect.

Masey, look what you

left at home!

Mr. Roberto...

It's my new boyfriend.

This house is

stunning.

You guys need to get out

of here.

This room is just to look at,

not to sit in.

Let's check the

backyard out before we get in

trouble for sitting on

the furniture.

All right, let's go.

There's the path.

Yeah.

This is fantastic.

Do you guys have to wear

your heels and stuff on the

grass?

Actually, you should

walk on the grass with your

heels 'cause it will aerate

the lawn.

Okay, seriously, you're

getting crumbs everywhere.

Look at this!

So let's not eat

anymore in Kim's house.

This'll be fun.

Kourtney!

When my whole family

comes over, they are nothing

but obnoxious.

Fingerprints, fingerprints,

people.

Seriously, guys, paws off.

Paws off the window.

Oh, why did you

invite us over?

I want you to see it.

I said, "look, don't touch."

Hi.

Hi.

How are you?

Good. How are you?

So, basically, I wanted to go

back to what you were saying

initially in terms of your

insecurities and being thrust

into this bigger family.

Right.

While Scott and I

are kind of working on things,

we've been going to therapy

twice a week.

I don't know where our

relationship stands, but we're

both working on it.

I love Scott.

He's Mason's father, and we're

both doing our best.

How do you feel about

being part of a big family?

I mean, is that something that

is attractive to you, or is it

something that like, "get me out

of here"?

Yeah, that's not

for me.

It's not for you.

Him and my brother

used to be close.

Him and my sister Khloe used

to be close.

We used to all three

live together.

They like despise each other

now.

How do you feel

about that?

How do you deal with it?

It's like I have to

live two different scenarios.

Right, two separate

lives, in essence, with

your partner.

Right.

I'd like to know from

you, you know, what are your

expectations, what are your

needs in the relationship?

The only thing I want

is to be treated like the man

that everybody's asking of me.

Once you've broken

trust, and you start thinking in

your mind, "I want to be a

better person, I want to be

a better dad," people aren't

automatically gonna go, "oh,

Scott, that's so great!

We're so happy for you."

You know, they're gonna be

really cautious.

That becomes challenging for the

two of you.

Hey, Kim.

Hey, mom.

What are you doing?

Just organizing.

You still unpacking?

Yeah.

Do you know what I

realized when I was driving

up here?

What?

I drove by the house

that daddy and I used to

live in.

And then Bruce and I used to

live next door.

I know.

That was our first

house.

We rented that house before we--

That's why I knew that

this was like meant to be.

We have like the best memories

here.

Kim, you have to have

like a housewarming party.

I don't want anyone

over, never.

Ou have a huge,

beautiful new house.

It won't be too

beautiful after everyone comes

and messes it up.

It's a party-- with

adults.

It's not a bunch of teenagers

running around.

I know, but like I just

don't like people in my space,

you know?

Kim, I'll make it easy.

I'll do all the planning.

We'll have everybody over.

It'll be fun.

Have some fun once in a while.

Fine.

Okay, but it has to be like

normal hours.

I don't want to like piss off

my neighbors.

Kim, it's not animal

house.

Yes, it is.

All right, I'll do

a list.

I'll bring Lisa over.

I'll get the caterer.

We're having cocktails and

hors d'oeuvres, that's it.

Everybody out of here by 10:30.

Fine.

All right.

Ooh, think that's

the Gate.

Hello.

Khlo, how do I open the Gate?

For who?

Scott's here to

take us to lunch.

I'll just buzz you out

when you go out there.

Well, he was going

to come help me get out of the

house.

I do believe Scott has

a lot of negativity around him.

How do I open it?

You don't.

Just turn it off speaker.

You're mature.

And since lamar's in

the playoffs, and the last thing

he needs is negative energy.

Scott is not allowed in my

house, point-blank.

He's a negative awful person, so

yeah, I don't want him in here.

Khloe is being

extremely immature, and won't

even let Scott drive on her

driveway.

Which only burdens me.

What is Scott going to do in

here by helping me out the door?

I don't need things to make my

life any harder.

Bye, kourt.

Thanks, gem.

You're welcome.

Kourtney is so annoying.

There's red wine here.

I didn't want to have this

party, so you need to help me

clean up.

This was your bright idea.

Merry maid Kim is like

turning into a lunatic.

Why would I want

someone like that in my house?

Scott just wants to

come say good night to his son.

If you want to stay at

my house, he can't come there.

There's rules.

Okay, well, I don't

need to be living under rules.

Fine, then don't.

Bye-bye.

Hey, what are you doing?

I just hate staying

in this nasty house.

Why?

Because Khloe is so

damn immature.

She just needs to worry about

herself and lamar and like her

own life, and stop putting all

this negative energy on mine.

I'm not taking sides.

Like, yeah, Scott pisses me off

sometimes, but Scott's the

father of your child.

She's got to be understanding

and be supportive and she's not.

Mason's the number one priority.

Right, and I'm

trying to do what's best

for him.

If Scott isn't what's best for

him, I'm not going to have him

in his life.

Khloe needs to learn

that what she's doing isn't

fair, especially to her sister.

Right.

I love you.

Love you.

Good night.

Kimmy, it's me.

Kim.

Are you still unpacking?

Yes.

I've asked Bruce to come over to

help me party-proof my house

before my mom gets there,

because as soon as she gets

there, all my ideas will be

thrown out the door.

I rented these things right

here, you know, like from a

movie theater.

Go ahead.

And I want to put them

in front of like the grass

area and in front of my--

You mean like nobody

can walk on the grass?

I know I'm being way

over the top, but I need to have

some control at some point.

Voilà!

Can we set up the shoe

racks?

You're actually going

to have people take their shoes

off when they come to the party?

Of course.

Ooh, we got gas.

Aw, oh, oh.

Hello?

Hey, mom.

Hey, Kim.

Wait, shoes off.

On the racks, on the racks.

Everyone is not coming

to your party in a cocktail

dress, Kim, and taking off their

shoes.

And Bruce is taking these stupid

things out to the garage.

They're not staying here while

your guests come in and have

barriers so they can't get into

your rooms.

It's rude.

I don't want people in

there.

There are sprinklers out that

side.

They're going to get mud all

over my brand-new white carpets.

Kim, you're turning

into an old Lady.

Why don't you just put plastic

on your couches?

Kim, if you're going to own a

home, you have to learn how to

entertain.

Hello?

Hey, khlo.

Where are you?

Up here.

Kim, you've got to

get ready.

You know what?

I'm totally fine.

Me and masey are just chillin'.

Hello.

I'm just hanging out at Kim's.

Yeah, that would be nice.

We'll be at Khloe's after.

Who's that?

Scott.

Scott's not coming

over.

I'm serious.

Tell him no.

All right, I'll

call you when I leave here.

It's my house.

Love you. Bye.

Why would you care if you're not

going to be there?

Because it's still my

house.

Do you not get it?

Why would I want someone like

that in my house?

I just came before the game-- I

wanted to say congrats on your

housewarming.

Have fun.

And kourt, he's just not coming

over.

So I would call him back.

That doesn't even

make sense.

Like why would that affect you

in any way?

I didn't think this

was continuously going to be

such an issue.

Just respect that I don't want

him over and don't bring him by

and try to be Shady.

If you want to stay at my house,

he can't come there.

There's rules.

Okay, well, I'm 31.

I don't need to be living under

rules.

Fine, then don't.

Bye-bye.

Have fun.

I am so upset with my

mom right now.

Here we go!

What are you doing?

Finishing packing.

Come on, Kourtney.

I'm getting out of

Khloe's house.

I don't want some

negative person in our home.

-- Sync by [font color=#00ff00]elderman[/font] --
-- for [font color=#00ffff]www.addic7ed.com[/font] --

Hi! How are you?!

So good to see you.

You look gorgeous.

So do you.

My girls are here.

I didn't do it!

I didn't do it!

Is this your beer?

No.

Crumbs, crumbs, crumbs.

There's red wine here.

Stop. Stop!

Merry maid Kim is like turning

into a lunatic.

I didn't want to have

this party, so you need to help

me clean up.

This was your bright idea.

It's embarrassing.

Man 1: I'm already getting

drunk.

Man 2: I know, man.

Kim.

What?

Rob, all of his friends

have shown up...

And he's not here.

He is at the

laker game.

Kick all of his

friends out.

I am so upset with my mom

right now.

This is exactly what I said

i didn't want.

What's going on here?

Jesse drafted you to

our team.

All you have to do is throw that

ball into any cup you want.

Okay.

Sorry, fellas!

Here we go!

I'm cleaning up, and I

notice this huge red wine stain

on my couch pillow.

I cannot handle this anymore.

I want everyone to go.

I'm just gonna lock myself in my

room because this is just too

much anxiety for me.

Kim?

Yeah?

What are you doing?

Trying to clean up.

But the party's still

going on.

I know, but my pillow's

ruined.

All right,

come here.

What?

Have a seat.

I've been watching you.

You're not enjoying yourself

one bit.

No, and I'm not going

down there anymore.

The party's over.

The party is actually

just getting started.

No, for me, it's over.

This is my dream home.

Everything about this house is

brand-new.

It's exactly what I wanted.

It's perfect.

And if anyone was gonna

mess it up, it has to be me.

I...

I understand.

You know, you built

a great house.

You gotta kind of break it in.

A house is to enjoy.

It's about building memories,

having a good time.

It's just my house, and

how I live is under my control.

So when it gets out of order,

I feel like not myself.

You just have to

remember that anything that

happens, we can fix, you know?

The pillow, you know, we can get

another pillow.

Pillows are easy, but you can't

get other, you know, memories.

It's to live in, you know?

Yeah, you're right.

The only person I'm

concerned about is your mom.

She's probably down there right

now ruining this place.

I need to go get her.

Yeah, let's go

get her.

Yeah!

Whoo!

Okay, I'm going inside.

Love you guys.

I am so proud of you showing off

your little cupcake,

and I think...

Kim...

No! Mommy, no!

Really? Really?

You don't want to mess with

me, bitch!

Are people welcome to

your new house, Kim?!

Everybody, grab a

broom.

Everyone, I'm gonna get

in the shower, so enjoy

yourselves!

I wanted to thank you all

for coming.

You're all welcome to come any

time you want.

Just don't spill

anything else.

The cleaning crew's coming.

Come in.

Kourt?

Yeah?

What are you doing?

Just finishing

packing.

Where are you going?

To Kim's.

Why?

Because I don't

feel like having this negative

energy in my life right now.

Oh, come on, Kourtney.

I'm getting out of

Khloe's house.

This isn't the best environment

for Mason and I.

So I think that Mason and I

living with Kim is the best

thing for everyone.

What am I supposed to

do if I don't want some negative

person in our home?

That's not what

it's about.

If he needs to see his son, and

he can't drive in the driveway

to make it easier for me to get

my stuff in the car, I don't

need the little backhanded

comments every second in my ear.

I've tried to manage the

situation with Khloe and Scott

not getting along, but right

now I think I just need to keep

them two separate parts

in my life.

As hard as that is, I know that

it's a lot easier than living

with Khloe and trying to

manage it.

Bottom line is, I

don't want this interfering with

our relationship.

I feel like lately our

relationship has not been what

it is because of Scott, and you

know if this is gonna save our

relationship, then great.

And I'm married.

I don't need all of my brothers

and sisters living in my house

with my husband.

And I'm 31 years

old.

I don't need to be living

somewhere that I have rules.

You know, I could try it out

at Kim's and see how it goes.

Khloe well, do

you need any help packing?

I'm not trying to rush you out,

but you know, if you need help,

I'm here to help.

I definitely hate to see Mason

and Kourtney go.

Let's sleep together tonight.

We're sisters.

I love her with all my heart,

but you know, if this is gonna

make our relationship better,

then maybe that's the best.

Kourtney!

Khloe...

I say we load up the bébé.

I'll bring this and this.

We could make a second

trip if need be.

I think we got

it all.

Do you have a bellman?

Yeah, Robert's the new

and improved Bruce.

Mason? Mason?

Mason, one day, kid,

you're gonna be doing this

dance.

Kourtney and I at this point in

our lives aren't gonna ever see

e-to-eye on this suation.

Call me when you get to Kim's.

Okay.

I just get frustrated

'cause I feel like everything

kind of turns back to Scott.

And it's hard and it's sad,

especially if she's hang so

many problems with Scott.

Like why is she still letting

him drive a wedge between us,

too?

Bye.

Bye, kourt, love ya.

Next on keeping up with

the kardashis.

You are the oy

single one.

Yeah.

My mom is trying to set me up

on a blind date.

I've already talked to

the guy on the phone.

Do you get any extra tickets

for playoff games?

Laker tickets, baby.

Come on.

I never go to any games

'cause you guys always wanna go.

You guys are acting

like dogs over meat.