20x03 - Winner Take All

[bunniefuu]

[seagulls squawking]

KIM: I went to my friend
Nicole's house down the street.

There was paddleboarders,
and all these dolphins came

- right inside the paddleboarders.
- Mm-hmm.

- Oh, my gosh, how cute.
- It was so cool.

The paddleboarders were, like,
so excited, but freaked out.

KHLOE: Oh, my.

Look at your weird,
spider-like arms.

Oh. Let's just wrestle right now,
Kendall,

- and I promise you, I'll win.
- KENDALL: Arm wrestle?

- No. I'll demolish your ass.
- Come on.

Hold on. All right.

One, two, three.

- Kendall! Oh, [bleep].
- Go, Kendall.

Wow. Yeah!

Yes! Holy crap.

What the actual [bleep]?

Like,
Kendall is... Hulk-like strength.

That bitch is so strong,
it's-it's scary.

- Kimberly. -All right, look.
- KRIS: Kendall.

- KHLOE: Go from the start.
- One, two, three. -SCOTT: I think

- Mom should get in there.
- KHLOE: Oh, yeah, Kim!

- Yeah!
- SCOTT: Yeah, Keeks! Yeah, Keeks!

-[Khloe screaming] -COREY: Oh...

-Yeah! -[Khloe screams]

KHLOE: You
should be on a circus.

You're freakishly strong!

- KIM: I'm a beast.
- KHLOE: You are a beast.

KIM: Listen, guys,
I work out every morning.

I lift lots of weights.
You've seen my trainer.

You have no idea how proud I am.

It just blew my mind.

I need your autograph
on my arm or something.

Like,
it's amazing that you kicked

-Kendall's ass. -I did.

- I was so...
- Your scrawny little arms

and her daddy-long-leg arms.

You [bleep] did it!

Kendall, you're letting me down.

♪ ♪

KOURTNEY: So I'm
staying at the Malibu house

alone tonight.

It's nice that I can really,

you know,
work and focus on Poosh.

[door opens]

Is someone here?

-[clattering] -Hello?

-Oh, my gosh. -SCOTT: Oh.

- [laughing]: What are you doing?
- I'm snacking.

- Why are you here?
- Why are you here?

I had all this Poosh work to
do. I just thought it was nice to...

I wanted to be by
the water. No one said

- they were gonna be here today.
- ...get it done.

- Yeah, where are Mason and Reign?
- At Mom's.

- Where's Penop?
- She wanted to sleep at Khloe's.

It's just like the world
bringing us together.

- You want to watch a movie?
- Yeah, we can.

Ever seen a man eat a Milky
Way with a fork and Kn*fe?

-Nope. -It's very classy.

-Is it? -Hell yeah.

-Shall we? -Sure.

I can't remember the last time

Scott and I spent
time alone together

without the kids. It's been

years since we did this.

And it's just a
little bit weird.

How's that cookie? It
looks insanely good.

-It is. -Holy... Look at the way

you're placing
that in your mouth.

-That was exquisite. -[laughs]

You're an unbelievable woman.

-I know. -So,

what are you working
on as far as Poosh stuff?

Uh, I think I'm gonna do an
article right now on celibacy.

I have to research
it. I'm just getting st...

- Oh, we practiced celibacy for a while.
- ...getting started.

No, we still had sex even
though you think we didn't.

You told Sarah Howard
you thought I was a p*rn star

when we first
started hooking up.

I remember, but

I don't sit there and
dwell and think about...

Oh, there's no dwelling, baby.

You were with a
p*rn star one time.

[laughs] Definitely not.

I forgot how nice it is

to just have a
conversation with Scott

without the kids.

We're friends.

Purely platonic.

[Kourtney laughs]

- What's so funny?
- [laughing]: I don't know.

I was walking around
the neighborhood

yesterday in, like, a bikini.

Can I see a
picture of the outfit?

No, I don't have a picture.

- Sounds butters.
- [laughing]: It definitely is.

This house has
got a nice vibe to it.

Yeah.

♪ ♪

KHLOE: We've got
to play volleyball.

KENDALL: Yeah, I want to start
doing that. It's such a good workout.

KHLOE: What'd you say?

Let's try and get
a good rally going.

[grunts] Hey!

-Why would you do that? -Whoa!

KIM: She knows what she's doing. All right,
ready?

KHLOE: Go, Kim, go! Oh.

KIM: Ooh, sorry. Sorry.

- That was a little to the left.
- No, you're fine.

KIM: I'm not good at this.

KENDALL: Like,
I actually know how to play volleyball.

- Oh, [bleep]. Scott, it's yours.
- Aah!

This is very hard to watch.

- Oh, [bleep]! Go! Run!
- KENDALL: Let us get in on this.

- Yeah, come on.
- This is embarrassing, you guys.

[grunts] The Kardashians
versus the Jenners?

KENDALL: Yeah,
but let me serve. I don't know

- if you know what you're doing.
- KHLOE: Shut up.

KIM: As siblings,
we're always competitive.

But Kendall has been
talking a lot about how

the Jenners are
genetically gifted.

And this is something that,
like, makes my blood boil.

KENDALL: I did this blood test.

They told me that
I'm super athletic

and that I'm built
for this [bleep].

But I'm athletic, too.

Are you, though?

I am. What are
you talking about?

We are not genetically gifted,

but we have fought
harder to be athletes,

to work out, to have a routine.

We are the true athletes here.

- I forgot. You go like this?
- Like this.

Don't give her any tips,
you [bleep] cheater!

- I used to play this [bleep].
- We used to play.

- Bro, chill.
- Well, if you used to play, [bleep] do it!

Three times tops.

- Watch out, skinny bitch.
- KENDALL: All right.

-KHLOE: Ow! -KIM: Yeah!

-I got it. -Kim!

Kendall!

[Kim and Khloe shouting]

We won! We won! [shouts]

KENDALL: When it comes to sports,
I do like to win.

My dad always just had
so much faith in Kylie and I

when it came to,
like, being athletic.

Come on.

ALL: Defense!

KENDALL: We grew up daddy's girls,
with those Olympic genes,

so... the Jenners,
we're just, we have it in us.

-Oh, she's... -Oh, [bleep]!

Ah! We won again!

Oh, my God!

[Kim laughs]

KHLOE: Go, Kim, go!

[overlapping shouting]

I think the kids are
competitive just naturally.

So it's a lot of fun to see
them and how serious they are.

-Whoo! -Are you okay?

Kim gets MVP award.

They want to win.

Guys, what we need to do
instead of having this, like,

one-off volleyball game,
is, like,

an obstacle course challenge.

Like,
the Kardashians versus the Jenners.

Like, a serious race.

We can literally have,
like, a Spartan

obstacle course set
up in our backyard.

KHLOE: Kendall and Kylie,
take note.

- You want to come for us...
- Can't even do volleyball?

-[laughs] -Yeah, you pussies.

KENDALL: We're down
for literally anything.

KIM: We're still winning,
though.

KRIS: Good serve, Kourtney!

- KRIS: Hey!
- Hey, sweetie, how you doing?

KRIS: What are you writing?

KOURTNEY: This
article for Poosh about

the benefits achieved
from celibacy.

COREY: Oh, Lord.

Are you sure I'm in the right conversation,
babe?

People practice this because
they want more energy,

stronger mental focus,
a closer relationship with their partner.

More energy for-for
not having an orgasm?

Yeah. Orgasms are considered
a release of energy. Closer...

COREY: Positive energy,
though. It makes you feel positive.

KOURTNEY: By abstaining from orgasm,
people have been known

[laughs]: to have orgasms
by simply watching the sun set.

What kind of weirdo was that?

KRIS: I want to have
what they're having.

Well, why don't you guys
try it and see what happens?

It'll be a fun little experiment
for my Poosh article.

I've been so busy
with Poosh lately.

And now I'm getting
deep into this article

to see how celibacy
affects relationships.

It's actual people
practicing celibacy.

And since my mom
and Corey are not shy...

KRIS: Is anybody in here?

COREY: This is
some sexy [bleep].

KRIS [laughs]: I cannot
stop thinking about sex.

I am nominating them
to be my guinea pigs.

KRIS: You want us to
have no sex for how long?

I don't know, like, two weeks.

COREY: Hell no. This
is some bull[bleep].

KRIS: Kourtney thinks that I'm
gonna have more mental clarity

if I don't have
sex for two weeks.

COREY: We have no privacy,
so even the bedroom

is up for your
family's business.

[chuckles] Yeah. Exactly.

I'm not doing this experiment.

KOURTNEY: Come on,
guys. Please just do it for Poosh.

Do it for science.

COREY: Do you practice this,
CEO of Poosh?

I have... I am celibate

until my husband from
Switzerland comes.

KRIS: Did you advertise for
a husband from Switzerland?

No. I just know that
that's where he is.

Like,
that's where I will end up.

KRIS: All right. I'm in.

We can all be celibate together.

Do we have to do this?

Kourtney,
what if sex does a good thing to me?

What if it'll make
me very negative

- to go without it?
- KRIS: Well, we're gonna find out.

You're horny as [bleep].

[laughing]: So I don't
think this is gonna work.

I don't like this game.

Oh, man,
I'm gonna be a [bleep] psycho.

[Kris laughs]

I came over here in the morning,

and I saw Kourtney
and Scott asleep together

- on the couch.
- KENDALL: You're lying.

Do we think they're,
like, hooking up again?

- I just want them to try.
- KIM: I don't know. Maybe.

I don't know what
the [bleep] is going on,

but I will figure this out.

The Kardashian tribe thinks
that they could kick your ass

in this obstacle course.

No. It's just a known fact
that we're more athletic.

-Right? -KHLOE: My sisters and I

are gonna have this crazy
Spartan obstacle course.

Kardashians versus the Jenners.

- Kardashians are way... [laughs] -Kim,
stop.

♪ ♪

COREY: Babe,
you look very sexy, honey.

Can you resist me?

[chuckles]: No. I
cannot resist you.

You stay on that
side of the pool,

and I'll stay over here.

We're social distancing
anyways by law.

Babe, we sleep together.

I'm gonna start putting a
bottle of lotion on my side

-to keep me company. -Babe.

'Cause we're
practicing non-touching.

So, then,
why are you talking about sex?

I'm thinking about you all day.

I can't wait till it's over.

I'm in this situation
to touch you

as much as I want to touch
you. That's why I'm here.

That's why you're here?

Babe,
you're not supposed to be kissing me.

- No. No. Nothing.
- Why? We're really doing it?

We're doing it for Poosh.
If we don't have sex,

we're gonna be... sharper.

You got to focus.
That's what it's all about.

I'm always focused
on your booty.

Like, like,
the side of your butt.

[chuckles]: Are you
just full of [bleep]?

I'm the one who's
staying strong.

You're the one who's
not taking it seriously.

I really like you,
and you're so damn sexy,

- and you're my baby.
- I don't like...

- [laughs]: Stop it. Stop it.
- No.

I don't like... Don't.
[laughs]: Don't. Just stop it.

You can research. Sex
makes you live longer,

and it also keeps you healthy.

Just take a little cold shower.

- You're gonna be fine.
- That's where you're wrong.

See,
you don't know what a cold shower do to me.

- [chuckles]: Oh, my God.
- Don't make it too long,

because once it
stay down a long time,

it might not never come back up.

Oh, my God. [laughs]

♪ ♪

KIM: Guys,
my back of my knee hurts so badly now.

I hurt my knee working
out with Melissa last night.

I have to ice it later today.

- KIM: Really?
- KENDALL: Who's Melissa?

- My trainer. -KHLOE: Kim's trainer.
- KENDALL: Mm.

- The, like, bodybuilder girl?
- KIM: Yeah.

I was thinking about entering.

KHLOE: So,
my sisters and I are gonna have

this crazy,
insane Spartan obstacle course

set up in the backyard
of this Malibu house,

and we are just
gonna see who wins,

Kardashians versus the Jenners.

Well,
with that arm wrestling [bleep]?

-[laughs] -But I have a tactic.

I know what to do now.

I got this. Come here, Kendall.

KENDALL: No,
we have nowhere to...

-Come here. -No.

You guys,
I came over here in the morning

a few days ago,
and I saw Kourtney and Scott

asleep together on the couch.

KENDALL: You're lying.

No, they were, like, separate.

- They weren't, like, spooning on the couch or anything.
- Oh, okay.

But, like,
he was here and she was here.

They weren't far away,
though. They were close.

Kourtney and Scott were
having a little sleepover.

They definitely
look a little cozy.

Something's definitely going
on between the two of them.

Like, I can feel it.

Oh, my God.

Do we think they're,
like, hooking up again?

I just want them to try.

KIM: I don't know. Maybe.

KHLOE: I mean,
Scott's single right now.

What's the harm in trying?
The worst that will happen

is they're like,
"You know what? We don't vibe with this."

Yeah. I agree.

But they're also
too p*ssy to try.

I think they're afraid that they're gonna,
like,

mess up their good co-parenting.

Which could be an op... an option,
but they...

But you're not one to talk.

I'm not one to
talk. I know that.

[chuckles]

ROBERT: Hello,
Kourtney. Hi, guys.

Hey-a, Scott.

KYLIE: Hi, honey.

-KRIS: Hi. -Ah...

[laughs]: Hi. Whoa.

You're just chilling on the trampoline,
Mommy?

Yeah,
I'm trying to get a little S-U-N.

- I feel you.
- Did you hear from Kendall

that the Kardashian tribe thinks

that they could kick your
ass in this obstacle course?

[laughs] No.

First of all,
we have 20 years on them.

It's just a known fact
that we're more athletic.

Right?

If I had to pick which
side was more athletic,

I'd have to go with Jenner.

Just genetically,
you know what I mean?

Well,
I used to do a backflip all the time.

But I-I just, like,
haven't done a backflip

-in so long. -Ooh.

- Neither have I.
- And I'm just worried.

KIM: Jenners chicken out.

KRIS: Hey,
Kim. Were you listening

to the whole conversation?

-You're so nosy. -It's okay.

The Kardashians are way...

- Kim, stop.
- ...way more athletic and stronger anyway.

No.

Let's see a flip.

- Go on, Kylie.
- But when I go for it, I can't b... I have to do it.

KIM: Yeah.

- Or you'll snap your neck in half.
- Ken...

-Kim! -[laughs]

[Kris whoops]

Kylie, all right!

KIM: Kylie can do a flip.

That is Kylie's thing.

But can she run?
Can she lift weights?

Can she show up? I don't know.

All right! You're a Jenner.

You try that, Kardashian.

I never claimed I could.

You guys, Kourtney and Scott.

I think we need to
Parent Trap it up.

I love a good trap.

KENDALL: Why don't we
say we're going to dinner

- and none of us show up?
- KIM: And then all of us flake?

They need this little push,
yeah.

Shove them together.

KIM: So I just went
to get an MRI today,

and he told me that I
had a big cyst and it burst.

I have this cyst on
the back of my knee

that's creating this pain.

But I'll do what I got to
do to be ready for the race.

♪ ♪

KHLOE: Ooh,
the helicopter's back.

KIM: I don't get it. Are
they going to the boat?

I feel like it's very Tom Cruise,
that one.

KHLOE: No, that's, like,
a m*llitary-grade helicopter.

That's, like,
so legit. But it's so cool.

You guys, Kourtney and Scott.

- I think we need to...
- [phone whooshes]

-Pay attention. -I am.

KENDALL: I keep telling her to,
like, give it a sh*t.

- KIM: Yeah.
- 'Cause I feel like she's just so, like,

not trying to.

Yeah.

KENDALL: I am Team Skourt.

I think she'll literally k*ll
me for saying anything,

but I don't know,
I am... I am Team Skourt.

I love you.

KENDALL: I've
known their relationship

pretty much from the beginning.

You could just tell how
much they loved each other.

- Oh, [bleep] yeah.
- Come on. Sh...

Let's just find out.

- It's a boy.
- That's definitely it. See how...

- [cheering] -KENDALL:
What can I say?

It's my truth.

Everyone thinks they're
definitely made for each other.

Like,
they're supposed to be together.

KHLOE: I think he would
do it in two seconds.

I think he's waiting on her
to make the first move or...

I just think she'd be
devastated if he really, really,

- really had, like, kids and a new family.
- KENDALL: Yeah.

I would be devastated.

KENDALL: 100%.

I think we need to
Parent Trap it up.

- I love a good trap.
- What does that mean?

Parent Trap? How they tried to
get their parents back together?

KENDALL: Oh.

- Like, we're the kids, we're the twins.
- KHLOE: Oh, my God.

They do call themselves
"Mom and Dad."

-They're our parents. -Yeah.

I think it would be really
cool that they've gone

their separate ways,
they've seen what else is out there,

and now they can come
back together and be together.

They're both single right now,

-and I... -They're vibing.

They are vibing. And I...

- They just need this, like...
- Shove.

- This little push, yeah.
- Shove them together.

KENDALL: Why don't we all say we're,
like,

going to dinner,
and we set it up, whatever,

- and none of us show up.
- KIM: And then all of us flake.

- Yeah.
- And just be like, "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry,"

but we'll have, like,
a cute little candlelit dinner,

-just for two. -This is good.

Yeah. Your nails
match her phone case.

- KENDALL: Oh, yeah.
- KHLOE: Oh, my.

You should take a picture of,
like, holding the phone.

- Like a hand model.
- KHLOE: I'm not a hand model.

- In the sun. Still on the wood.
- Bossy. Wow.

-[camera clicks] -There you go.

Thank you, Rom-Com Kim.

ROB: Corey's ready.

You're Bruce Lee ready.

You guys look so cute and silly.

KRIS: Stormi.

- ROB: Mom, you can't bribe kids like that.
- KYLIE: No way.

- KRIS: Yes, I can.
- KYLIE: No way.

Lovey has a lollipop for you?

No way!

- KRIS: Hi, Harrie.
- COREY: How you doing, Harrie?

- How are you? Uhp.
- How you doing?

KRIS: How are you?

KOURTNEY: My mom and
Corey have been struggling a bit

with this celibacy exercise.

So for my Poosh article,

I'm gonna try to show
them how to channel

their energy elsewhere.

And the first
exercise is tai chi.

This could be the
release they need.

[laughs]

HARRIE: You're
gonna brush the front,

push your body to the left.

What this movement look like?

Like, uh, John Travolta.

-John Travolta. -Yeah, see?

- The hand is moving.
- That's right.

KOURTNEY: I feel like part
of celibacy is just feeling closer

to your partner.

It's a great opportunity for
my mom and Corey to bond.

- KRIS: Thank you so much.
- Thank you so much.

KOURTNEY: My mom and
Corey seem to have tai chi down,

but now I'm going
to sit them down

and really try to have,
like, a deep talk

where we can understand
each other a little bit more.

Face each other and
look into each other's eyes.

- KRIS: Look into each other's eyes?
- Yeah.

Now, keep looking at each other.

KRIS: I probably never
would've tried some of the things

that Kourtney suggests if it
wasn't for what we're here for,

- but it's interesting.
- I like it a lot, too,

and I like the concentration
you have to have to even do that,

'cause... I really like it.

What would be your dream date?

Italy. Pasta.

We'll have a bottle
of 1945 Pétrus.

Dateline and
going to bed at 7:00.

- That's fine with me.
- KOURTNEY: My mom and Corey

have been doing
a really good job

with this celibacy exercise,

but there's still a few
things that I want to work on

before the end of
their celibacy journey.

- COREY: You released the eyes, now we can c...
- Now we can look.

- You can look me in the eyes now.
- We can thank her.

-COREY: Yeah. -[laughs]

- I should start a therapy session.
- Come on.

Whoa.

Wow.

-Ooh. -[laughs]

♪ ♪

-KHLOE: Hey. -KOURTNEY: Hi.

KHLOE: Hey,
we're all so excited,

but as you know, Kim has

- her knee thing.
- MELISSA: I know. I know.

- KIM: So I just went to get an MRI today.
- Mm-hmm.

And he told me that I had a
big cyst behind there and it burst.

Ever since volleyball,
my knee has been k*lling me.

So I go to the
doctor to get an MRI,

and they tell me that
I have this big cyst

on the back of my knee
and that it has burst.

So there's this fluid that's,
like, leaking out

that's creating this pain.

DOCTOR: You have
a cyst in the back.

Once it ruptures,
it leaks this fluid

and it sits around the
muscles and it irritates them.

KIM: So I hear the doctor,
I want to listen to him,

but I'll do what I got to do to
hopefully be ready for the race.

- We're gonna start over there, by the bench.
- Okay.

MELISSA: One, two, three, four.

♪ ♪

KENDALL: We can't let them win.

I know Kim, Kourtney and Khloe

are training for this
obstacle course,

and they think they're
the only ones getting it in,

but Kylie and I are preparing ourselves,
too.

We grew up playing
every single sport.

Kylie was literally on the
boys flag football team.

We definitely got it in us.

- [laughter] -MELISSA: Come on,
use your core.

KIM: Kardashians train like

we are beasts.

I'm feeling really optimistic.

- Kardashians get the gold.
- Yeah.

KENDALL: I mean, sure, my sisters
work out a little bit more than me,

but I don't need to.

MELISSA: Come on, guys!

Twenty.

KOURTNEY: Is this
a scavenger hunt?

Our family dinners don't usually
start with cryptic love notes.

"Follow the rose petals."

What is this?

KIM: Let's go, Khloe!

KHLOE: The day of the
Spartan Race is finally here.

This is heavy-duty-type stuff.

- KRIS: Go! Oh, wow.
- COREY: Oh...

The course is a bit more
than I was expecting.

Oh, my God, my leg.

-This is brutal. -[grunts]

♪ ♪

KOURTNEY: How's Kim's knee?

- STEPHEN: It's a mess.
- KIM: It really hurts.

KOURTNEY: My knee was
bothering me this morning.

KIM: Do you want
him to check it out?

Only Kardashians
can check it out.

- [Stephen laughs] -I'm
not letting any Jenners.

- Yeah, no.
- STEPHEN: Yeah, this is your edge.

KIM: I have, like,

a pinch, almost, like,
going, like, down here, too.

KHLOE: The day of the
Spartan Race is finally here,

and Team Kardashian
has just plummeted.

Kim has a bad knee,

and Kourtney's also
having some problems.

- Not to start complaining...
- Oh, God.

...but I haven't slept
well in three nights.

My eye looks so tired.

- That's why I was wearing glasses.
- One eye?

Yeah. Oh, God.

- One eye's exhausted.
- And then...

It's not going
according to plan.

I also have my period.

I feel like that slows me down.

Whatever your issues are,
don't act like we're all hurt and old.

- KENDALL: Hello?
- Get out of here.

KHLOE: We cannot
let the Jenners know

we have complications
over in this room.

Let me in.

- They're...
- You guys are cheating.

KHLOE: I'm not gonna
let these young little babies

think that they actually have
the leg up on the competition.

Oh, my God.

We're still gonna kick their asses,
I pray.

- Hey.
- STEPHEN: How you feeling today?

-I'm okay. -KIM: Don't ask her.

-[laughter] -[FaceTime ringing]

KHLOE: Hi, where are you?

And it's all in my head,
like, when I look down...

KHLOE: That's so weird.

KIM: Kylie has

a "sinus infection," so...

- Don't even know what that is.
- A sinus infection?

- Like, it is something that debilitates...
- Like, a stuffy nose.

- So...
- And that makes you not work out?

Apparently.

- I mean, it's really convenient that this happened...
- Yeah.

...before the obstacle.

I mean,
I'm literally hobbling and can't walk

and I'm here and I'm just gonna,
like, fight through it.

KENDALL: It's just me.

I am gonna have
to hold the name up.

It is extra pressure
now that Kylie's not here.

But if I win,
then it just proves my point further,

because I just b*at
three Kardashians.

So I cannot wait to
just show everyone up.

All right, shall we do this?

-KOURTNEY: Hi. -SAM: Hi.

- I'm Sam.
- KHLOE: Nice to meet you.

-You're a Spartan? -Yeah.

Have you ever done
anything like this before?

- KENDALL: No. -KHLOE: No.
- Before we get started,

we're gonna go
over each obstacle.

You guys are gonna start
halfway down the stairs.

This is your first obstacle,
the Low Crawl.

You guys are gonna get
through this any way you want to.

And then you're actually
gonna go under the Dunk Wall.

And then you're gonna stay
until you nail the Spear Throw.

We got the four-foot walls.

And then the two trickiest ones,
the Inverted Wall

and the Slip Wall.

KHLOE: So there are
seven different obstacles.

If there's an obstacle
that we don't want to try,

we have the right to skip it,

but 15 seconds would
be added to our time.

God, I need a prayer.

- SAM: Welcome to the party.
- [laughs] Oh, [bleep].

- SAM: Should be fun.
- SCOTT: Who do you think's gonna win?

I would say Kourtney's got

a lot to prove.

- Right.
- And she works out every day.

HARRY: She worked
out this morning.

- So I was like, "Great."
- SCOTT: Right. That's stupid.

- You never work out prior to the games.
- Pre-workout.

That would be like if
you were going to w*r,

- you have a pre-battle with your boys.
- Pre-workout... yeah.

SCOTT: But then there's Khlo,
who's a beast,

who also had a show
called Revenge Body.

- She's ready. Yeah.
- So she's really ready, but then there's also Ken.

She's tall, she's limber,
she's thin.

- Yeah, yeah.
- She's weightless, almost.

- She's a featherweight.
- She floats.

HARRY: Yeah, she floats.

SCOTT: But Kim might

- surprise us all.
- KIM: This hurts my knee.

- STEPHEN: Right now?
- Just, yeah.

- STEPHEN: Just start running in place.
- Ooh.

- Does that hurt? Okay.
- That hurts, like, really bad.

- Like, a sharp pain.
- My rule-rule of thumb...

- Like, really.
- ...would be if it hurts, don't do it.

KIM: Going up the stairs and
the Inverted Wall is what'll get me.

I am so pissed right now.

STEPHEN: I wouldn't do it.

Okay.

I want to do this.
I prepped for this.

But a lifetime of a knee
tear or a knee problem

versus a family
trophy is not worth it.

KRIS: Okay,
two out of five are down.

It's now just the three of us.

It's going to be Kendall
versus her two 40-year-old

Kardashian sisters.

Whoever gets through the
race in the fastest time wins.

KIM: Let's go, Khloe!

All right, Khloe,
I'm gonna count you down.

So these obstacles
are a lot more legit

than I sort of
anticipated them being.

I am intimidated,
but I feel like I still got this.

I'm gonna kick ass.

On your mark, get set, go!

♪ ♪

So I'm not able to do this,
but I'm gonna be

the best cheerleader ever.

We might be old but
we're going for the gold!

-You got this. -Come on, Khlo!

-You got this. -Go, Khloe!

- Let's go, Khloe.
- That's it, girl.

-Let's go, baby. -Let's go.

Yes, Khloe, yes.

-[whooping] -Yeah, Khloe!

Let's go, Khloe, come on!

Be careful.

KRIS: Okay, you're feeling it.

- Take a breath.
- You're good, though, you're good.

Okay,
focus on this. Let's focus.

- You got this.
- Oh, try it again!

- KIM: You got this!
- KRIS: You got this, Khloe.

[all cheering]

Come on, Khloe.

-Yeah! -Yes.

KHLOE: I'm [bleep] exhausted.

This is, like,
heavy-duty-type stuff.

And I have long nails
that I'm not willing to break.

I'm not doing that one
because of my nails.

We get it. Good job. Keep going.

- Come on, Khlo.
- KRIS: Let's go, Khloe.

Oh, my gosh, go! Go!

- Your last event.
- You're almost at the finish line. Yeah!

Come on, Khloe. Whoo!

- That was so good.
- Great job, Khloe.

- What did she get?
- Fifteen-second penalty, so 2:48.

KHLOE: I felt like I
was really good on time.

I just could not do
the wall. I felt like

that was gonna slow me down.

I don't know if that was the right move,
the wrong move.

But I think I did well.

I honestly don't know if
my sisters can do all that.

That [bleep] is hard.

All right, Jenner,
show us how it's done.


b*at. I'm not concerned.

On your mark, get set, go!

KIM: Let's go, Kendall!

KRIS: Oh...

- I hear some interesting noises.
- [Kris moaning]

COREY: How that
feel? That's good?

It's Corey and my mom.

Are they breaking
their celibacy?

Mom!

I think it's pretty obvious
they tried to set us up.

To have a moment to just be together,
and to see

if we even like being
together without the kids,

you know, it was a cool thing.

This is nice.

- KRIS: That's my girl.
- Go, Kendall!

- Yeah, Kendall.
- Let's go, Kendall!

KHLOE: Oh,
you are a real crawler.

-Go, Kendall. -Jump. Oh, wow.

-Like a SEAL. -Yeah!

KENDALL: The
course is really intense.

I think it was a bit more
than I was expecting.

-[bleep] -You need water.

KENDALL: I'm out of the
pool and I cannot breathe.

This is brutal.

It's okay, Kendall,
you got this, babe.

- Kendall, you got it.
- [all cheer]

That's my girl.

-Go, Kendall, go! -Yes, Kendall!

Oh, my God, my leg.

KRIS: You got it, Kendall.

Let's go. You got it.

- Come on, Kenny. You got this, Kenny.
- You got it!

Be careful of the splinters.

-Oh, my God! -Oh, my God!

KHLOE: I know your
ass has splinters.

KHLOE: Kendall is impressive.

Her limbs are just so long,
so she just covers more space.

Kendall has that advantage,
[bleep] bitch.

I just hope she
can't b*at my time.

KRIS: Your last event,
Kendall. Your last event.

Go, Kendall!

KRIS: All right, that's my girl.

-Kenny! -[all cheering]

Yes!

[air horn blares]

KRIS: Two minutes,


My lungs are burning.

That was crazy. That was,
honestly,

the most energy I think I've
ever exerted in my entire life.

But I feel good. I completed it,

and I b*at Khloe.

I definitely thought Khloe was
gonna be my biggest competition.

KIM: Kourtney,
we're depending on you.

KOURTNEY: Kendall
b*ating Khloe is pretty scary.

I'm feeling a lot of pressure.

Like,
I don't know how fast I am.

I-I feel like I'm fast,

so I still think we've got this.

Get set, go!

KHLOE: You got this. Come on,
Kourt!

KIM: Yeah, Kourt,
I know you can do this.

KRIS: Slow it down,
Kourtney. Pace yourself.

KIM: Don't slow it down.

This is only two
minutes of your life!

-[all shouting] -Yes! Yes!

Oh,
my God. Two minutes of your life!

-Go, Kourtney. -Let's go, Kourt!

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

- You need some water.
- No, I'm fine.

-[laughs] -Come on, Kourtney!

- Don't slow down.
- Come on, Kourt.

- Yes! Oh! -Let's go, Kourt!
- [others cheering]

-Come on. -You got it, Kourtney.

You got it, Kourtney.

You're at half the time
Kendall is. Let's go!

-Go! -Oh, my God.

You're almost there.

- I'm here to catch you. Go.
- [bleep], I don't even...

This obstacle course is
definitely made for tall people.

- I'm five-one and proud.
- [bleep]

But I'm at a disadvantage here.

Don't get a splinter. You go! Go,
Kourtney!

-You got it, Kourtney! -[bleep]

You have 30 seconds
to get this title for life.

You're gonna b*at Kendall.

Kourtney is feeling it. I'm so happy,
I'm so surprised.

I did not expect
this out of Kourt.

You got this, Kourtney.

You got this, Kourtney,
it's almost there!

-You got it! -[others shouting]

Ah, she has a really good time!

Go! This is it! Let's go!

[all shouting]

-Go, Kourtney! -[laughs]

-Whoa! -[air horn blares]

-Yeah. -[whooping]

What was the time?

[bleep], I was close.

I was four seconds
slower than Kendall,

but that was not a fair course.

- I didn't b*at her.
- Kourt, that was so good.

COREY: That was strong, Kourt.

-Yes, Kendall! -[all cheering]

Yeah!

Obviously I knew
I was gonna win.

I'm excited. I mean,
that's so fun.

I just b*at my
Kardashian sisters.

We proved a point here today.

KHLOE: Good job, Kenny!

Kendall deserves
it. She did the best.

- We're not haters.
- We're not haters.

And I would have won
had my knee been fine,

so we already know that.

Everyone's a winner
that even tried.

KHLOE: Exactly, Kim.

- Everybody get on there. Everybody get on there.
- That's my girl.

I showed up. I'm a winner, too.

You showed up. Get up there.

- This is beautiful.
- [Kris laughs]

♪ ♪

[Kris moans]

[moaning continues]

I'm trying to read my book,
and I hear some...

[Kris moans loudly]

...really interesting noises.

-[Kris moans] -[Kourtney gasps]

COREY: How that feel?
That's good? Am I in there?

I can hear that it's
Corey and my mom...

COREY: Am I
hitting the right side?

KOURTNEY: ...which I
definitely don't want to hear.

But I'm also, like,
are they breaking their celibacy?

-How that feel? -KRIS: So good.

Mom! What are you guys doing?

- KRIS: What? [laughs]
- What are you doing here?

KOURTNEY: I was
hearing your noises.

Noises? No, my neck hurts.

-Was she that loud? -Yes.

- I thought you were having sex.
- What?!

No. Honestly,
we've been doing so well.

- Good.
- It's really getting boring.

KOURTNEY: The two weeks
will be over officially tomorrow,

so I'm definitely proud
of Corey and my mom

for sticking to their celibacy,

if they really did.

I'm so happy that they helped
me with my Poosh research,

and hopefully
they'll be better for it.

I'm not gonna even lie to you,
Kourtney.

It was tough,
but I've been having a good time

doing all the things
that we wouldn't normally

-put energy into doing. -Good.

It didn't move
mountains with us,

because we're really good
in a lot of the personal areas.

But it was fun to
support the exercise.

Yeah,
and we'll try anything once.

And I think we did good.

I want to do everything
we've been doing.

- But I've been, like, waiting a long time to touch her.
- [Kris laughs]

I want to have all
of it put together

- and not do this exercise again.
- [Kris laughs]

KRIS: That's for sure.

♪ ♪

- KHLOE: Hey.
- KIM: What are you doing?

So, you know Kourtney's fantasy

-is to go to Switzerland. -Yeah.

Who better to
fulfill her fantasy

- than the Lord?
- Than Scott? Yeah.

So I think we could
bring Switzerland here.

Is that a Swiss flag?

- Yeah.
- That looks like the Red Cross.

This is a white cross.

It's the exact opposite,
but still I went to the Red Cross.

Anyways,
we're gonna make it as Swiss as we can.

Kourtney and Scott are
both getting here tonight,

thinking they're meeting
Kim and I for a family dinner,

but we want to set up a
Swiss-themed romantic dinner

because we know that's
something Kourtney claims to love.

KIM: I brought
candles and rose petals.

Is that Swiss?

KHLOE: Once the sun is setting,

everything is gonna
look more romantic

and enticing and she will
be overwhelmed with love.

I have a speaker
to play Swiss music.

- KIM: What is Swiss music?
- Yodeling.

[Swiss music playing]

Is this sexy music?

- I don't think so.
- I don't think so.

But she wants to move to Switzerland,
so...

[laughs]

I don't think I knew what
Swiss music would sound like.

This is lovely music.

Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!

♪ ♪

- SCOTT: You look so nice.
- KOURTNEY: Oh, thanks.

KOURTNEY: Is this
a scavenger hunt?

That's... you would know
better than I do. I don't know.

-Kim? -KOURTNEY: Mom?

KOURTNEY: Kim and
Khloe said that we're having

a family dinner tonight in Malibu,
but our family dinners

don't usually start with
cryptic love notes and clues.

- Where are they?
- SCOTT: There's nobody here.

I'm not really sure
what's going on,

but they're definitely
up to something.

What is this? "Follow
the rose petals."

- What is this?
- I feel like we're on, like,

The Bachelor.

Oh, there's Swiss flags.

[laughs]: Are there? Swiss?

Yeah. Is there Swiss
yodeling going on?

- [Swiss music playing] -This
is supposed to be Switzerland?

Evidently. Switzerland
has never looked so good.

A table for two?

- So it's just me and you?
- Oh, fondue.

Oh, so this is, like,
them setting us up.

KOURTNEY: Or is
this you setting it up?

♪ ♪

SCOTT: So this is, like, them

setting us up.

Or is this you setting it up?

No,
I didn't have anything to do with this.

Are you sure?

I think I would say,
right now, I did this for us.

First of all,
I wouldn't have yodeled.

- KOURTNEY: Okay.
- And second, I don't think

I would've done a
lot of these things.

Is that what they
eat in Switzerland?

I don't know.

It's nice.

- I thought this was a family dinner.
- [phone chimes]

So did I.

I mean, it's still a family dinner,
technically.

- Yeah.
- But I think it's pretty obvious they...

tried to set us up.

You know,
I think the family puts a lot of pressure

on Kourtney more so than me

in regards to them wanting
her to be back together with me.

They just see two
people that spend

a lot of time together,
do a lot of things with their children,

so why can't we have
a perfect little family

and a white picket fence?

But it's just not that simple.

But I think to have a
moment to just be together

and to see if we even
like being together

without the kids,
you know, is a cool thing.

Like, I understand the
whole trying to get us alone...

...but what's going on
with the Swiss thing?

- 'Cause you talk about Switzerland?
- I guess.

I talk about boats a lot.

You don't see a
boat sitting out there.

[laughs] I don't know.

I think it's the 15-minute
Switzerland rule.

The 15-minute Switzerland rule?

-Mm-hmm. -What does that mean?

You meet a Swiss guy,
in 15 minutes something goes down.

- That means he's the one.
- It does?

No, I just made it up.

I just joke that I'm gonna
move to Switzerland.

Oh.

I mean,
I guess it's cute that they try to do this,

-slash annoying. -Mm.

-[chuckles] -Yeah.

It's not bad for you
and I to have some time

-without the kids. -Yeah.

SCOTT: I mean, I don't really

remember the last time

we really had dinner alone,

candlelit.

I would probably say...

-Ever? -...a vacation?

In Mexico. [chuckles]

In Cabo.

- That was the one I was thinking about.
- Yeah.

I think it was a nice thing,
and they were just trying

to please you with your
Switzerland dreams.

So I can't be mad
at anybody for trying.

Yeah, I think it's nice.

Last night,
we were talking about

all my pee stories.

- Yeah.
- We were, like, crying, laughing,

-like... -Pee in your pants?

-[laughs] -The one at, uh,

the hotel was good.

The people coming
out of the elevator.

We looked at them like, "Ugh,

"someone just,
like, peed in there.

It's gross, guys."

And they were like,
"Oh, my God."

- "How disgusting." Yeah.
- "That's gross."

- [laughs] -And we sat with
them at the beach the whole day.

-Yeah. -That was fun.

♪ ♪

- KHLOE: Hello!
- KIM: Kourtney? Scott?

KHLOE: Hello?
Your cars are here.

- Where are they?
- KHLOE: Wait. I hear music.

-Hello? -[laughter in distance]

[doorknob jiggling]

The master is locked.

- They're in there.
- Come here. Let's go around.

Let's go around. Wait,
do those doors open?

KIM: Oh,
my God. Look at all the roses.

KHLOE: Roses and
the bathtub drawn.

- SCOTT: Ooh.
- [Kourtney chuckles]

-Ah! -KOURTNEY: Uhp.

- KHLOE: Hello.
- Hello. [chuckles]

- SCOTT: What's up?
- KOURTNEY: Good morning.

We were trying to
spy on you guys,

but here we are.

What the hell is happening?

- What are you guys doing?
- We were just enjoying the view.

KHLOE: A brassiere?

Are you guys back together?
Did you seal the deal?

Well, your dinner was so,
um, romantic.

SCOTT: The Swiss
flag is what got us.

KOURTNEY: As a joke,
we decided to set

a romantic scene

and pretend that we
had a night together.

Like their mission
was accomplished.

Lord Disick reigns
here. [laughs]

Lord Disick may shine again!

[laughter]

KHLOE: What'd you
say? "Mount Shine again"?

[English accent]: Lord
Disick may shine here again!

- KIM: "May shine."
- KHLOE [laughs]: Oh, "may shine here again."

-KHLOE: Okay. -Oh, thank God.

KIM: Did our Parent Trap work?

KOURTNEY: Dinner was very nice,

but we're not back together,
so...

KHLOE: So you're just [bleep]?

Nope. We're just parents...

That sometimes...
[tongue clicking]

-Nope. -KIM: You guys, stop.

KHLOE: We saw rose petals

and a bath drawn.

- KIM: What are you guys doing?
- Yeah. I just honestly...

- Very confused.
- [Kourtney chuckles]

KOURTNEY: Maybe
we're just pretending...

- KIM: What do you mean?
- ...to get back for you guys

meddling in our business.

KHLOE: Okay.

Kourtney and Scott claim

that nothing happened
between them last night

and it's a prank, but who knows?

- A girl can wonder.
- I don't know if I believe that.

KHLOE: Wasn't
it a nice surprise?

SCOTT: Yeah. We never really

spend much time without the kids,
so...

KOURTNEY: That was nice.

KIM: Well, on that note,

we will leave you alone so
you guys can bond even more.

I feel like we
interrupted you guys.

I'm rooting for them.

I think we're all
rooting for them,

and maybe they just need this time,
and maybe they need

even more time than right now.

Who knows? But we're
always rooting for them.

[laughter]

KOURTNEY: Addison Rae

is a TikToker.

KHLOE: She sleeps over a lot?

What room does she sleep in?

- My mom's.
- Kourtney's not really

like this with her
other girlfriends.

[whooping, screaming]

Work it! Yeah!

- MAN: Oh, my God.
- What is wrong?

You don't understand
what just happened.


really crazy year.

MAN 2 [on TV]: The bunker is
designed to withstand all disasters.

You just want to be
prepared for anything.

- My God, it's an emergency.
- [siren wailing]

- We got to go! Come on!
- Okay.