01x17 - Bird World Leader/Bwak Bwak Tweet Bwak 3: The Squawk-ening

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: Previously on The Musical Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle...

Our heroes accidentally destroyed

the giant, town birdbath with music.

And then, dirty, zombie-like birds

began to flutter about Frostbite Falls.

Which gave Fearless Leader a new evil plan

to use those birds to create a new evil army.

Meanwhile, Rocky and Bullwinkle set out on tour

with a disguised Boris and Natasha.

And raised enough money to repair the birdbath with this giant check!

And just how giant was that check?

Giant enough to fly our heroes away from the compound of an out of control fan,

and back to Frostbite Falls.

Which is where we start our next exciting episode

surrounded by dirty birds.

Oh! Those ugly birds are getting closer.

Commander Rocky, initiate evasive flying maneuvers.

Yeah, this is a paper airplane.

ROCKY: I can't believe we made it this far!

Oh, yeah, we're not gonna stick around and be bird food.

Later, bird food.

[LAUGHING MANICALLY]

[SCREAMING]

Boy, that is just not how you wanna start your day.

Hang on, Bullwinkle!

Crash positions, Rock!

Oh, that landing was actually pretty good.

But not good.

Something seems really different about our town.

You mean how that dirty bird is now running Mr. Grocer's grocery store?

[SQUAWKING]

And Mrs. Baker's bakery...

Uh, Bullwinkle?

Something tells me we should deposit this giant check

and fix that giant birdbath now!

Phew.

And not a dirty bird in sight.

Good day, human banker. We'd like to deposit this giant...

Good afternoon...

Pam.

We need to make a giant check deposit,

so we can clean all the birds, not unlike yourself.

[ALARM BLARING]

Uh, Pam, what's going on?

Uh, Bullwinkle?

Yes, best friend with a dirty bird on his head?

We should probably get outta here!

But we can't can't 'til we deposit this check!

Okay, now we can get outta here.

[CLAMORING]

NARRATOR: Oh, no! The dirty birds destroyed the birdbath check.

Now they're chasing Rocky and Bullwinkle out of the bank.

Oh, no!

Now they're running through the opening title sequence!

♪ It's time to rock 'n roll

♪ Why don't you come along?

♪ Get ready for adventure

♪ After this opening song!

♪ We are the bad guys We walk the bad walk

♪ And we're gonna b*at Moose and Squirrel...

[CLUCKING]

♪ And finally gonna take over the world!

♪ We're gonna get famous! We gotta go, come on!

♪ Now it's time to end this totally awesome new

♪ opening title sequence song!♪

♪ Jam-a-lam ♪

NARRATOR: When we last left our heroic heroes,

they were getting dirty bird-ed!

They're closing in, Rock.

Oh, man, I hate this episode.

Seriously? They've got a t*nk?

Rocky and Bullwinkle, get down doncha know.

A loaf of bread?

Oh, yeah!

Get in before they finish!

Let's roll.

NARRATOR: Ooh, nice bread pun, Weird Al.

So, as Rocky and Bullwinkle raced to safety,

to try and save their beloved Frostbite Falls,

its new bird leader arrived to rule it forever!

Hello, Fearless Falls.

I'm home!

Okay, I've got my town, my giant bird army.

Oh, yeah, famous pop stars.

ALL: Can we go now?

We've been here for, like, three episodes,

and haven't done anything.

No!

'Cause one, I'm sure you're in this episode for some reason.

And two, I can't find the keys.

Now, I'm just missing one more thing.

[SCREAMING]

I meant two things.

Fearless Leader?

What is going on with all the crazy birds and stuff?

Why tell you when I can show you?

Leaders of the world,

behold my awesome new powers!

You have a dumb costume?

No! I have awesome bird powers!

And I sent you all a little taste.

Tell our friends to say, "Hello."

[SCREAMING]

What is this?

My evil bird army, which I control.

[MURMURING]

Yes, I control them.

Yeah, okay, fine, you help.

But I'm the brains of this operation,

and you're just the bird brains.

And, you know the drill.

One hour. Surrender the world.

Or I'll release my bird army on the rest of the world.

Blah, blah, blah. Goodbye!

Uh, should we be doing something?

You know the drill.

Go to Moose and Squirrel's house. Find Moose and Squirrel.

And destroy Moose and Squirrel.

Snap in. I say nothing can stop me.

Nothing can stop me!

[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

NARRATOR: But there was something that could stop him.

Inside the underground bunker

of the dirty bird resistance army, of course.

Welcome to the dirty bird re-sis-de-diddy-duh-distance.

You'll be safe here.

Private Jenson, give these boys their uniforms.

Welcome to the resistance.

BOTH: Cool.

I know what you're thinking.

How can we stop this evil monocle guy

from controlling all the dirty birds?

All we have to do is wash those dirty birds

and turn them back into clean birds, which are nice birds!

But what're we gonna clean them with?

With music.

No! That's what go us into this mess.

Well, yeah, but this is our big music story, so I figured, you know...

Or we could just wash them with water.

That could work too.

I did manage to salvage these old tanker trucks

with these big hoses on them. Think they could help?

If we turn those hoses

into dirty-bird-washing bath blasters they will.

It's just crazy enough to work, doncha know?

Where should we att*ck the dirty birds first?

We've got one sh*t at this.

So we hit 'em right here on Main Street.

Let's roll.

Uh, didn't you already say that, Weird Al?

And it still works!

NARRATOR: So, as Rocky and Bullwinkle

started their hunt for the dirty birds...

Boris and Natasha started their hunt for Rocky and Bullwinkle.

[CHUCKLES]

I bet they're hiding right now

in their boring, small town house.

So small.

So boring.

So, flip!

They're not in boring, small town living room.

You flip that way, I'll flip this way.

Small-town kitchen is all clear.

Natasha! Get in here! Quick!

This small-town couch is so cozy.

You got to give it a sit.

Idiot! I am super spy.

I don't do small town cozy.

Oh! Ooh!

This couch is amazing.

And wait 'til you see boring adorable small-town kitchen.

BOTH: Let's make corn muffins!

NARRATOR: Uh, so, as Boris and Natasha enacted Operation Corn Muffin,

Rocky and Bullwinkle arrived downtown to enact

Operation Save The Town They Love.

We've got dirty birdies at o'clock, doncha know!

Let's roll.

Okay, that doesn't even work here, Weird Al.

We already rolled. We are here.

We are post roll.

That was mean, Rocky.

I'm sorry. It's been a stressful day.

All right, resistance.

Let's wash-de-wash these birds!

[SHOUTING]

Dirty birds!

Yay! We're doin' it!

Uh, why are the birds not clean?

And made of cardboard?

These dirty birds are dirty decoys.

They knew we were coming!

But how?

We were the only ones who knew about the plan!

Because one of us is a spy.

But who? Hmm.

-Weird Al! -It's not me!

[CLUCKING]

But, wait a minute.

[THROUGH SPEAKER] Welcome to the resistance.

Welcome to the resistance...

NARRATOR: Oh, no! Private Jenson was actually

twelve dirty birds!

They dump-de-dumped out all our bird washing water

and they destroyed all our bird washing trucks.

What are we gonna do now?

Whatever I say!

Because, I'm the leader of the dirty birds!

[SQUAWKING]

NARRATOR: Ba-whoa!

Is Frostbite Falls doomed forever?

Can Fearless Leader use his new dirty bird army to take over the world?

Dude, look at me. I'm awesome.

Will Evil Chicken ever get the credit she deserves

for being the real brains behind the bird army?

[SQUAWKS QUESTIONINGLY]

And will Rocky and Bullwinkle find a way to save the day one last time?

With music!

'Cause again this is our big music story and...

[ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE SCREAMING]

NARRATOR: Find out what happens next

after this Boris and Natasha Singing Intermission.

♪ Aw, small town boring house, we can't get enough

♪ In the horse barn scoopin' horsey stuff

♪ Why bother doing evil things?

♪ When you can sit on a porch, eat corn muffins and sing

♪ Small town! ♪

NARRATOR: Okay, that was weird but it was musical.

Now, we resume our story in Fearless Leader's Frostbite Falls lair

where Fearless Leader has locked the resistance into giant bird cages.

[LAUGHING] Perfect!

This is terrible.

I know.

We're trapped in bird cages

and Weird Al won't share the swing.

[LAUGHING]

Everyone will get a turn on the swing.

Right now we need to work together to get outta here!

And how could you, Jenson?

We trusted you.

We trusted you!

Why are you back in that disguise?

We know you're just twelve birds.

Just twelve of the millions of birds

that I alone control.

Right, Evil Chicken?

Oh, Evil Chicken, you've accidentally sat in my chair.

Only the person in charge sits in that chair.

This looks interesting.

What? Let go of me.

Jenson, do something!

Not that!

You think you can overthrow me?

Well, little does she know

I have two danger-seeking super spies

who I can silently message,

like today's teens do.

Where did you get the sheep?

Look, Natasha.

Is message from Fearless Leader.

"Chicken. X X."

"Bird emoji, bird emoji."

"Fearless Leader-moji."

"Bird cage, world, winky face."

Boris! Evil Chicken double crossed Fearless Leader,

locked him in cage, taken control of bird army, and we need to save him.

And there's no way Evil Chicken can stop super spies...

BOTH: Boris and Natasha!

Unless she sent dirty bird squadron to destroy us!

NARRATOR: Oh, no! It looks like the world is about to go to the birds

thanks to the new fearless leader in Frostbite Falls,

who was a chicken!

KING LEADER: What do you want?

We don't speak bird!

She's saying that she's about to send evil flocks of birds

to att*ck every city on the planet.

So, surrender now before it's too late.

Duh!

Never!

Grr...

NARRATOR: And with her evil jet pack,

Evil Chicken rose to the top of her lair

to direct her dirty bird army to take over the world!

[EVIL CHICKEN SQUAWKING]

Thirty minutes until total bird domination.

Well, Rock, I guess we'll never get to do

the things we've always dreamed of doing.

Like, I never got to test the limits

of an all-you-can-eat buffet.

I never got to cut a ribbon

with a pair of those comically large scissors.

[CRYING]

And I never got to say...

"let's roll."

You said it, like, nine times, Al.

And, I never got to play my soulful recorder solo.

Play it, Rock.

Even though nobody can stand that thing,

play your solo.

O-M-G, that is so rank.

But that bird dude likes it.

Look, Jenson's scootily-doodling to your tootily-tootin.

And he's jingly-jangling those keysie-weezies!

Reel 'em in, Rock.

Play that recorder like the fate of the world depends on it.

Which it does.

Almost there.

Got 'em!

Okay, we'll go after those bird missiles

and you guys fix those trucks, so we can wash them.

A-ha!

Hang on.

And so, as Rocky and Bullwinkle raced

to stop bird world domination,

back at their house,

Boris and Natasha were still trapped inside,

hiding from dirty bird intimidation!

They're coming through the wall.

There must be something in this dumb house that can get us out of here,

and back to Fearless Leader.

Is closet filled with props from previous episodes.

And look, Natasha.

Already lit space adventure cannon

to blast us right through skylight and save Fearless Leader.

Wait. There's no skylight.

Idiot!

NARRATOR: And, as bad luck would have it,

Boris and Natasha's rescue mission

flew right into the path of

Rocky and Bullwinkle's music mission.

My recorder!

BORIS: You have a lovely home!

And now, the birds have stopped following us,

and are chasing us!

Get us outta here!

NARRATOR: And the chase was on,

as the dirty birds pursued our heroes

into the Frostbite Falls Woodsy Woods.

BOTH: Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Faster, Rock. They're gaining on us.

Update. They've successfully gained on us.

We're going down!

NARRATOR: And, just as it looked

like our heroes were done for,

they crashed through the giant Frostbite Falls waterfall.

Frostbite Falls Falls!

Rocky, get up. They're coming and...

[CHIRPING]

Whoa, those birds are clean.

[CHUCKLES] And nice.

Bullwinkle, Frostbite Falls Falls

just cleaned the dirty birds.

Now, we just have to lead all the other dirty birds to the falls

and make them nice, too.

Too bad you dropped your recorder.

But the nice birds found my recorder.

[GASPS] And brought us an apology cake.

Rocky, it's new mission time.

Quick, fly as fast as you can

and bring the rest of those dirty birds back to this waterfall.

And what's your mission?

I'm gonna stay here

and eat this cake.

NARRATOR: And so, as Bullwinkle bravely ate the cake,

everyone's most-favorite squirrel soared into the sky

to save the day with everyone's least favorite instrument.

He saved New York City.

[CROWD GASPING]

[ROCKY PLAYS RECORDER]

[CHIRPING HAPPILY]

NARRATOR: And Paris, France.

And every other city about to get dirty-birded.

[BEEPING]

Not so easy taking over the world, is it? Oh!

NARRATOR: So, as Evil Chicken's mission was crumbling in failure,

Rocky and Bullwinkle's mission was almost complete!

[GROANS]

So full.

But I can't give up.

[RECORDER PLAYING]

Rocky!

All right, birds.

It's bath time.

[PLAYS DISCORDANT NOTE]

Whoa, whoa! Where's the water going?

NARRATOR: No, no!

Evil Chicken has stopped the falls from falling.

Oh, no, no!

Evil Chicken stole the recorder.

No!

NARRATOR: Oh, no, no, no!

The dirty birds are under Evil Chicken's control again.

And they've got Rocky trapped against the waterless waterfall.

Can nobody stop these most foul fowl?

Aw, man!

None of this would've happened

if I hadn't played my guitar so loud

and destroyed the rock solid birdbath.

And now, I can't move this rock solid rock!

[TRUCKS HONKING]

Bullwinkle, time to save the day.

ALL: With music!

Time to rock.

And roll.

[CRACKING]

[SQUAWKS]

[CHIRPING]

NARRATOR: And so, thanks to Rocky's recorder and Bullwinkle's guitar,

Frostbite Falls and the world was saved from Evil Chicken and the dirty birds.

That's the power of music, baby.

The Narrator's right.

But there's still one more thing

we have to save with music.

NARRATOR: And with a song in their hearts,

Rocky and Bullwinkle,

finally gave the benefit concert

to end all benefit concerts,

with some help from the biggest pop stars in the world.

So, that's why they kept us here for four episodes.

♪ We cleaned the birds!

♪ They were so dirty

♪ Now help us build a brand-new bird bath

♪ So they stay purty

♪ Can someone let us out of these tubes?

♪ Come on, people, don't just ignore us! ♪

Sorry, guys, we can't find the keys.

♪ Then let's just sing the chorus ♪

Ladies and gentlemen,

Mr. Weird Al Yankovic!

♪ Let's act like nerds ♪

That's not the chorus, Al.

♪ Let's eat mustards ♪

The line's "clean the birds."

♪ Pet Saint Bernards ♪

Okay, that one's kind of a stretch.

But look!

NARRATOR: And with the power of music and donations,

Frostbite Falls got a brand, spanking, new birdbath!

♪ Tweet, tweet, tweet-tweet

♪ Tweet, tweet, tweet-tweet

♪ We cleaned the birds

♪ We cleaned the birds♪

NARRATOR: And with Frostbite Falls clean and wholesome again...

Fearless Leader escaped back to Pottsylvania.

And now, Evil Chicken,

for betraying me and putting me in a bird cage,

I will decide your punishment!

This is going to be great.

Oh, I can't stay mad at you.

BOTH: What?

Evil Chicken was just being her evil self.

And that's what we love about her. Right, guys?

Wow! What a musically satisfying adventure.

Yeah, but it sure is nice

comin' home to our boring small townhouse.

[BLEATS]

Bullwinkle!

Somebody's been in our house!

And they made corn muffins!

BOTH: Awesome!

NARRATOR: Better pack those corn muffins to go, boys...

because you've got to get ready to set out

on your next globe-trotting, world-saving adventure!

BOTH: Oh, boy!

We're going on another exciting adventure?

NARRATOR: See you next time

on the Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle!

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]