03x03 - Everything is My Fault!

Episode transcripts for the TV series, "The Kardashians". Aired: April 14, 2022 – present.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


Reality series of the Kardashian family featuring Kourtney, Kim, and Khloé Kardashian and their half-sisters, Kendall and Kylie Jenner, and their mother, Kris Jenner.
Post Reply

03x03 - Everything is My Fault!

Post by bunniefuu »

[UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING]

KIM: Previously, on The Kardashians...

Sixty looks from the archives
that we pick.

I'm creative directing the Spring 2023

Dolce & Gabbana Fashion Show.

We're gonna have less than a month.

♪♪

KOURTNEY: We're getting ready
to launch Lemme,

which is my vitamin and supplement brand.

This, never thought for a second

it was a tumor on my face.

We got the entire tumor.

All my margins are clear,
and all I have is a scar.

You know, so many people aren't as lucky,

and I feel really fortunate
and really blessed.

-KRIS: Now, when you couldn't talk...
-KHLOÉ: That was not fun.

No.

♪♪

["RUN FOR YOUR MONEY" BY RLYRLY PLAYING]

♪ Give it your best sh*t ♪

♪ I'll give you a run for your money ♪

♪ Run for your money ♪

♪ Run for your money ♪

-She'll get an iced tea.
-Oh sure.

You want a penne in a pink sauce?

Yes.

I've been so busy

with the Dolce & Gabbana campaign.

There's so much to do before Milan.

Maybe a little pizza.

But I need some fun,

and, like, just to get out of the house.

How's the tea?

So good.

I love hanging out with Scott.

We're both single right now,

so I feel like there's a lot to talk about

and a lot to navigate.

It's been a while. How's your back doing?

[SIGHS]

He always just teaches me

to have a sense of humor about it.

So... I haven't really seen you out, like,

on any dates or anything.

Well, it's just hard because

what do those first dates look like?

-For you? I can't imagine.
-KIM: Behind...

-Behind doors.
-SCOTT: You can't go run around.

-Can't go out.
-And if you're indoors,

you probably feel like Pretty Woman.

-It's, kind of, awkward.
-SCOTT: No?

-Yeah. No...
-Like a guy rolls up to your door,

-and you're like, "Hello, I'm Kim."
-KIM: Or, "Hurry, get in.

-"Hurry, hurry, so no one in the hallway
-SCOTT: Right.

-sees you."
-SCOTT: No. Right. Like, you're like

-a dirty, little secret.
-KIM: Yeah.

And you're not, you're just
a dirty, little girl.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

-You're, like, meeting over the phone.
-KIM: And then,

here's the thing,
if you are seen with someone...

then... if it's starting to not work out,

you almost have to try
to make it work a little longer

-because you're so embarrassed...
-Or 'cause otherwise,

-then, it's like...
-that it was so quick.

"Kim K fails another relationship."

-When you're like, "Actually...
-KIM: Totally.

SCOTT: "I didn't wanna see that guy's

disgusting, smelly

-whatever again."
-KIM: Totally.

You obviously learn from every situation,

and the one thing I learned
from my last situation

was, like, the media made me feel like

I was in, like, a very, like,

serious relationship, like, so quickly.

I just wanna sneak around a little bit.

Like, there's nothing wrong
with wanting to sneak.

But I just don't wanna date one person.

-You should date one person...
-KIM: This is my year.

when you find... that person.

-Yeah, but I've never dated.
-Have you not watched Sex and the City?

I watch it every night to fall asleep.

SCOTT: Those b*tches were in the streets.

They were.

They were catchin' sausage all over town.

I know.

What's so funny is

my friends wanted me to meet someone,

-so we go to New York...
-Recently?

-Yeah. We go to New York...
-No way.

and we go [CHUCKLES] to Zero Bond.

That's, like, my spot because

-there's a private room downstairs...
-SCOTT: Yeah,

-I know the spot.
-like, doesn't matter.

But then on the Internet, it was like,

"Kim reconnects with Pete

"at this place,

-like at Zero Bond."
-SCOTT: Was he there?

-No.
-SCOTT: Oh.

But it was the place that I would go

and have, like,
my "secret dinners" with Pete.

-And he's probably like...
-"Oh, I know what time it is."

-"I know what she's up to."
-SCOTT: "I know what she's doin'."

So, I'm not even gonna ask ya who,

so let's call this guy... Fred.

-Drop Dead Fred? [CHUCKLES]
-SCOTT: Drop Dead Fred.

-KIM: Yeah.
-Freddy!

How are ya, Fred?

[LAUGHING]

SCOTT: All right, so let's
go with Freddy.

Does he meet the standards?

Oh, so meets the standards.

-Meets the standards?
-Yeah.

PRODUCER: [LAUGHS]

Yep.

Two years what?

No, I'm going to be.

-PRODUCER: That was a cute smile.
-I'm going to be.

You gotta find your Mr. Big,

and hope he doesn't die on a bike one day.

-Yeah.
-SCOTT: I'd love to see you with, like,

an older Italian businessman, like...

-Older?
-Yeah,

that looks amazing
because if you meet somebody

-that's in the entertainment business...
-KIM: But they can't be too old,

-like, I-I don't like the old thing.
-SCOTT: Okay.

-But I don't like
-SCOTT: Well...

the really young thing either.

Absolutely.

-It's the best thing I've ever seen.
-KIM: There was a report saying

-they were seen making out at a party.
-SCOTT: I'm sure there was.

She's k*lling it still.

-Oh, oh.
-KIM: I would just feel insecure.

Well, maybe she's just secure
or has the lights off.

I pretty much have the lights off now.

-[LAUGHS]
-SCOTT: What?!

-Kind of.
-[PRODUCER LAUGHS]

Yeah. It's so weird.

But then I can, like,
walk out of a photo sh**t

with, like, 100 people working on set.

I can walk out, like, in a thong,

but if it's, like, you're there with me,

I'm like, "Wait, don't look at me.

Turn the lights off!"

I would put a blindfold on him [LAUGHS]

-if I was 40...
-Like, one with the horses

wear in New York?

I'll tell you right now,
he's hittin' that hard.

KIM: Oh my god.

["BRING THE FIRE"
BY VANACORE MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ I'm ultraviolet, ain't nothin' like it ♪

♪ I'm bringin' the fire ♪

♪ I'm bringin' the fire ♪

Hi. [GIGGLES]

-TRAVIS: Did you start sh**ting yet?
-Nope.

Today, I am sh**ting "Lemme Fall in Love"
with my husband.

Yeah.

KOURTNEY: We didn't take "Lemme
Fall in Love"

to fall in love,

but it's floral essences

that you put straight in your mouth,

and it opens up your heart.

-KRIS: Hello.
-Hey, Mom.

-SIMON HUCK: Hello.
-KOURTNEY: Hi, guys.

KRIS: Look who came to visit you!

How are you?

-KRIS: Hi, Simon!
-Hi!

-Hi, how are you?
-Good morning.

You look so nice. Mwah. Mwah.

[CROSSTALK]

Hi.

-How are you?
-KOURTNEY: What are you guys up to today?

Uh, we're doing the tour, the grand tour.

KOURTNEY: Oh my gosh.

-Yes.
-KOURTNEY: After?

-After here.
-KOURTNEY: Yeah. It's across the street.

Wow.

KOURTNEY: Seeing Domenico and Gui

just brings back
so many good memories from him

designing my wedding dress on me.

-From there to here.
-PERSON: Yeah.

-[INAUDIBLE] Sorry, I'm, I'm violator.
-KOURTNEY: 'Kay.

-That is some surgery.
-[ALL LAUGHING]

I mean, I've also been friends
with Domenico and Gui

for five years,

and have gone to their home

in Portofino every summer.

They've always, like,
rolled out the red carpet,

and my whole experience
with them with our wedding,

he really made me feel so
comfortable and really special.

So, we have, like,
a really personal relationship.

Bye. I'll see you later.

-Have fun. Have the best day.
-DOMENICO DOLCE: Yeah. Okay.

Ciao, bye. On to work.

Kourt, do you wanna discuss
New York City press?

Yes.

I think the dream target would be

a Today show appearance.

So, we have a New York trip coming up

for Fashion Week,

and Simon wants me to do some Lemme press.

The walkout is what does it for me.

What was that, and you were with me...

-When you had to do a walkout?
-KOURTNEY: Yeah.

-SIMON: Where were we?
-I was in a white suit.

KOURTNEY: That was...

-KOURTNEY: It is.
-It's iconic, in the books.

-One of Kourtney's classics.
-"Tell us about Kim,"

and you just go like this.

[KOURTNEY CHUCKLES]

Hello, Kourtney, have you...
Have we lost you?

All right, it looks like, uh,

Kourtney doesn't really wanna go there

-with that question.
-I think she's blanking me.

I feel anxiety only about
the press part of New York,

and it's really only the Today show.

-SIMON: How are we on time over here?
-HAIRSTYLIST: We are done.

SIMON: Travis is ready to rock and roll.

I would say by nature I am shy.

Like, I didn't speak as a child, at all,

until I was, like, a teenager.

I think, now, it's, like,
a fear of judgment.

PHOTOGRAPHER: Like, let's do this.

Beautiful.

♪♪

Nice, and I'm gonna
go in even closer for one.

Beautiful. And you guys can play.

Like, Kourtney, if you wanna do
arms around his neck as well.

SIMON: Oh my god, so cute.

-PHOTOGRAPHER: Incredible.
-SIMON: These two on a sh**t?

PHOTOGRAPHER: Incredible.

SIMON: So good, right?

-Are you guys seeing that picture?
-PERSON: Yeah.

-SIMON: That's the picture. Goodbye.
-PERSON: I know.

Everyone go home. [LAUGHS]

This is the easiest

photo sh**t I've ever done.

We're just doing what we do best.

PHOTOGRAPHER: Beautiful... nice.

A healthy relationship adds so much.

Like, that's added so much to my life.

PHOTOGRAPHER: Beautiful. Amazing.

'Kay, so eyes to me, Kourtney.

And really, like, your circle
and who's around you is just...

makes such a difference
in life in general.

PHOTOGRAPHER: We have this.
We have a thousand options.

Feel like I'm Oprah... the wisdom.

-SIMON: [LAUGHS]
-PHOTOGRAPHER: I'm really sweating.

Yeah, is there air conditioning
we can put on in here?

[CREW CHEERS]

PERSON 1: Hold it, hold it, hold it.

PHOTOGRAPHER: This is all so usable.

PERSON 2: That was so cute!

-[TATUM FUSSING]
-[KHLOÉ SHUSHING]

KHLOÉ: You gotta calm down so you can eat.

I don't know where
your shoe is. Oh, right there.

-[FUSSING]
-[SHUSHING]

I promise you you're okay.

-KRIS: Hi.
-Hi.

Is he crying?

-Yeah, he's... struggling.
-Poor guy. What's wrong?

I don't know. We had to change his formula

'cause he... We got him allergy tested.

He's not lactose,
but he really was having trouble

on our other formula,
so now he's on goat milk,

and I think he's still adjusting.

The first couple months are really wild.

He sleeps until 4 AM
every night right now,

and that's just a godsend

because the beginning is really crazy.

Hi, Rob.

Hi, my little pumpkin.

No, Tatum's good.

We could call him Tate.

-No.
-No, everybody's gonna call him Tate.

Never gonna happen.

You just forget how
mind-boggling the beginning is,

and, like, 'cause no one
would do it again and again

if they remembered
how torturous the beginning is.

How's everything going with Tristan?

[TATUM FUSSING]

♪♪

[TATUM FUSSING]

KHLOÉ: Well, no, Tristan and I, that's...

Like, we always get along great.

Like, him and I have
a great friendship relationship.

We get along fine, and for my kids,

I will put anything to the side.

-Yeah.
-KHLOÉ: What's done is done.

So, what would I still be
holding onto something for?

And I don't need to... "punish" him

because I'm not getting back with him.

I love it. I was...
came over here the other day,

and he was giving True breakfast.

It was really cute.

Yeah, and if I'm not here,

-like, when I'm not around, he's here.
-KRIS: It's so great.

-And I would rather, like...
-Yeah.

-him be here than a nanny.
-Yeah.

I mean, there's still boundaries. Like...

I'm... definitely put my foot down a-around
a lotta things.

Like, no one's just here chillin'

if there's no kids involved.

These boundaries are so important

to put into place with Tristan

because we've done this song and dance

a handful of times already.

I've gotten back with him
after a cheating scandal,

so I don't know if Tristan
is under the impression,

"Oh, wow, okay. Let's just ride this out,

and, eventually, she'll get back with me."

I get why he would think that,

so it's my job to set boundaries
that my actions show otherwise.

You know, like,
it's always about the kids.

-KRIS: Yeah.
-And, and that's what it is.

But we're not just hanging out

by ourselves or, like, watching TV.

Like, no.

I keep it very short and sweet,

and I make sure
he knows it's all about the kids

because it's so easy to fall back into,

"Hey, let's watch a game,"
or this or that.

Like, I can't let those old habits

just easily come into my life.

It's just not what I want.

KRIS: I'm glad. That makes me happy.

So, how do you feel now,
three months later,

about the whole process of surrogacy?

When you compare it between True and him

it's a very different... experience.

-Like...
-The connection?

-The connection.
-Yeah.

Like, with True, it took me a couple days

to, like, be like,
"Okay, this is my daughter,"

and I was super into it, but just days.

-Yeah.
-Like, with him, it's taken me months.

I love him and I love kids,

but it definitely... I still
don't have that complete bond.

-But, you know, so many people say...
-KRIS: That just takes time.

-it takes time, and...
-KRIS: It does.

I think that, for you,
you've been through a lot.

Your emotions are spent on trying to

deal with trauma

and all the stuff
that you've been through.

And I think that
you have to remember that.

I mean, you have
to give yourself a little bit of

-credit and a break.
-No, I do. You just feel...

I feel bad for sure.

Like, I... Not bad.
I feel, like, guilty sometimes.

I'm like, "Why isn't it the same?"

But I know it will be,

and I know, like...

I don't treat him differently.

I just question myself sometimes.

I think that you have
to give yourself a break

-because every time I come over here...
-[KHLOÉ SHUSHING]

you're like the mother of the year.

-Thank you.
-KRIS: You're always feeding someone,

-or entertaining someone...
-[KHLOÉ SHUSHING]

or, you know, doting on your kids.

You're the most

-attentive person to all of us.
-Thank you.

I wish I wasn't so critical of myself

'cause I'm very kind to everyone else.

[LAUGHS] I'm just not very kind to myself.

But being a mom is truly one of...

just the most magical experiences ever.

♪♪

-Can I hold him?
-Well, he might throw up on you.

-'Cause he's still not...
-Okay.

-used to this formula.
-Oh.

-But if you don't...
-KRIS: Okay. I don't care.

-care.
-KRIS: I don't mind.

Hold on, I'll give you this one.

Okay. I have my fire suit on.

You have one shoe on.

KHLOÉ: He's still getting
used to the formula.

-Don't jump him up and down.
-KRIS: Oh.

-[TATUM FUSSING]
-KRIS: Yeah, I know, I know, I know.

Don't you dare cry. No, no.

No, no, no. Look!

See? Your mom jumps up.

Who's connected?

Who's connected?

♪♪

♪ Seein' stars in the dark ♪

♪♪

[UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING]

♪♪

What time is the show, Ashlaya?

-Starts at nine?
-ASHLAYA: Yeah.

I'm excited to be here
in New York during Fashion Week,

and just to, to have some fun,
and get some work done.

And I've been here a lot
over the last 10 years,

and just felt like
my plate has been way too full,

and it's nice to be here
and feel like I can breathe,

and things aren't extremely overwhelming.

[FACETIME RINGING]

-Hi.
-KRIS [ON PHONE]: Hi.

-KENDALL: Are you in New York?
-You look so pretty.

Thank you. Are you in New York?

No, I'm about to get glammed,

and then I'm going
to Beyoncé's birthday party.

-Oh, fun.
-What's tonight?

Um, going to sit at Marni,

and then, I have
my forward GQ event thing.

I think I'm in a really, um,
good, really healthy place

with my modeling side of my life.

I feel really good about, like,
decisions that I've made,

and just, like, kind of, where I'm at,

and what I can handle, I guess,

and just, um, the boundaries I've created,

so I feel, I feel really good.

Well, I love you. Safe travels.

I will see you when you get here.

KRIS: Okay. Love you so much.

You look gorgeous. You're my favorite.

KENDALL: Oh, okay.

Why do I not believe you?

-Say it one more time.
-I love you.

KENDALL: Say it one more time.

You're my favorite.
My very favorite daughter.

Okay, love you. I'm blushing... Love you.

-KENDALL: What do you mean?
-PRODUCER: The favorite thing?

No, not at all.

She's... I know the truth.

-PRODUCER: Which is?
-I'm not her favorite. [CHUCKLES]

Kylie. My money's on Kylie.

She, literally, said it yesterday in an
interview

on a lie detector.

-"Am I your favorite child?"
-[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

Yes.

[AUDIENCE OOHS]

-True.
-[AUDIENCE CHEERS, APPLAUDS]

-I already knew.
-I can't go home. I can't go home.

-Oh my god.
-[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

I already knew the answer.

I mean, the speed at which you answered.

I know. [LAUGHS]

KENDALL: Bye, guys.
Thanks, Mary. Thanks, Irinel.

-PERSON 1: Bye, we'll see you there.
-PERSON 2: See ya.

[CAMERAS CLICKING]

PAPARAZZO: Hey, Kendall! How are you?

Can we get your photo?

["GET HYPE" BY VANACORE MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ Get hype, get hype, get hype ♪

♪ All day, all night,
all I see are flashy lights ♪

♪ Get hype, get hype ♪

♪ Get hype ♪

KIM: Dolce stuff.

So, basically, they said to me,

they loved all my looks
that they've been seeing.

"Would you ever creative direct
our show in September

and be, like, the designer?"

-KYLIE: Oh, that's cool.
-So, today, we're sh**ting...

When the show opens,

they wanted all this video footage of me,

and they pulled old, like, footage, like,
paparazzi footage of me

-when we were in Portofino and stuff.
-KYLIE: Uh-huh.

But I was like, "What if we do,
like, our own video?

"So, it's, like, new content

"that the viewer, the person is seeing,

-and then we can put that as the teaser."
-KYLIE: Mm-hmm.

KIM: So, that's what I'm doing today.

KYLIE: Like, teaser for the show

or it's in the show?

For the show and it's in the show.

Like, people won't know yet what it is.

There is so much to do
before we leave for Milan.

We're leaving in a few days,

and we still have
all this content to sh**t.

But just the clothes... So, they've made,

like, 120 looks in just, like, two weeks.

And so, from that,
we're gonna go down to 80.

I love the challenge. There's a lot to do.

-And this is in Milan, right?
-KIM: Yeah,

-Milan Fashion Week.
-KYLIE: That's cool.

KIM: But all these crystal looks

that I'm making from head to toe...

-Like, they're just... I'm excited...
-KYLIE: So cool.

for just the looks to wear in Milan.

Oh my god. That's so much fun.

As the creative director,
I mean, I came up with

the looks that I wanted,

recreating all of the looks from the 90s.

Everything down
to the accessories, the shoes

to have these very, like, Kim-esque looks.

We just get every single archive

that you've ever thought was cool

is now gonna be back available.

-KYLIE: That's really exciting.
-Yeah.

I am a little worried about
Kourtney just because

Dolce was really close to Kourt's wedding.

I kinda wanted them to have their moment.

I just wish there was, like,
more time that could pass

before I could really
take this opportunity.

DIRECTOR: All right, let's roll camera.

["WILD" BY BUNNY MACHETE PLAYING]

♪ I'm doin' it, yeah ♪

KIM: I definitely am a little nervous

to see people's reactions.

It's, like, more than a collab.

The tags will have my name on it,

so I want the rollout

and everything to be perfection.

♪ I'm doin' it wild like that ♪

-[CROSSTALK]
-[PEOPLE CHEERING]

["WORK" BY KARRA PLAYING]

♪ I put that work in, so I'mma work it ♪

♪ I put that work in, so I'mma work it ♪

KOURTNEY: We're in New York
for Fashion Week,

and I have a really
full itinerary while I'm here,

including some fashion shows
and Lemme press.

And I have the Today show,
which makes me nervous.

And then I have Glamour,
and Elle, and Harper's Bazaar.

♪ I'm the baddest, gotta let 'em have it ♪

♪ Super savage, winnin' is a habit, yeah ♪

These shows, like, give me PTSD.

-Like, I don't know why.
-No, it'll be so fun.

-Does anyone have dr*gs?
-[PEOPLE LAUGHING]

SIMON: No, we need to make...
We need Lemme Chill.

PERSON: Lemme Chill. Lemme Matcha.

SIMON: Oh, thank you.

♪♪

Do you wanna go over
anything for this interview?

Or you're feeling... I mean,
I feel like you've got it.

I don't know.
What kinda questions are there?

-Should we ask you a couple questions?
-Y-Yeah.

Why Lemme and why now?

Like, why not?

-What if that was my answer?
-[ALL LAUGHING]

PRODUCER: Guys, let's, uh,
let's head on in.

I've been working
on this for so many years.

I will.

What's the right way
to get people excited?

You know, let everyone hear about it.

Like, I wanna show how passionate I am.

Guys, so we're doing the interview.

As soon as we get to commercial break,

we gotta hightail it out

'cause these guys are gonna spin around.

I do not love doing press.

Uh, bring it in.

And the live factor

also makes me a little bit nervous.

PRODUCER: Thirty seconds back.

KOURTNEY: I don't know why.

At some point, I think it was more when

I started feeling more insecure.

PRODUCER: Twenty seconds back.

I think, maybe, it was
also just years of criticism.

[PRODUCER COUNTING DOWN]

♪♪

Welcome back. Fans have been keeping up

with Kourtney Kardashian Barker
for 15 years,

ever since the premiere of her
family's hit reality show.

You know, um, I've known
you for a long time.

-KOURTNEY: Yes.
-In fact, we co-hosted together

many years ago.

Let's do a little toast.

I did ask if you were still breastfeeding,

and the answer was?

No. Mason is 21 months.

HODA KOTB: A lot has changed...

-KOURTNEY: Oh my god.
-s-since those days.

Um, y-your, your sisters have
had product lines and businesses,

but I feel like that wasn't your thing

-until now.
-Until now.

I'm, like, a really authentic person,

and I can't force anything.

And I think there was, like,

this pressure from Kim and my mom, like,

"What's your thing? What's your business?"

And I was like,
"Why do I have to have a thing?"

-Can't I be a mom...
-HODA: Yeah.

and I'm filming the show.

-Yeah.
-And it's like a f...

-That's a full-time job.
-That's a full-time gig.

I'm also in, like, a place
where I feel really confident,

so I think that helps

-with all the decision-making.
-HODA: Yeah.

I think you're
in a great moment in your life.

-It sounds like you found, like...
-Thank you.

the love of your life,

you've got your next season of this show,

you've got this product line,

-and you look...
-Yeah.

HODA: I remember you from years ago.

You look really... You look happier now

-than you did back then, so.
-Thank you. I think I am.

-[CROSSTALK]
-So, guys, come, come this way.

I feel amazing. I'm so glad it's over.

You know, having done
all this work building Lemme,

it makes it all the more worth it.

Oh, my mom said,

"So perfect and beautiful. You did great."

Oh, that's amazing.

KOURTNEY: It's like a release.

Like, that was the stress for my day,

and now it's all gone.

-It was so good.
-[CROSSTALK]

And the way you brought it
back to Lemme halfway through, too.

-LIZ: Flawless.
-PERSON: Yeah. Organic and, like...

-You hit, like, everything.
-Everything.

Take the lead.

-KOURTNEY: Four Lemme Chills...
-Four Lemme Chills,

-and, you know...
-and then, I'm good to go.

Are you gonna go
on a press circuit every day?

'Cause this is clearly your new job.

Um, that's why I co-hosted the Today show.

-And we're bringing you back.
-[ALL LAUGH]

["BETTER THAN THIS" BY
VANACORE MUSIC PLAYING]

-SIMON: Hi, Nina.
-NINA GARCÍA: Hi.

-KOURTNEY: How are you?
-NINA: Hello.

-So nice to meet you.
-NINA: Same here.

KOURTNEY: I've been up since, like, 4 AM,

and now it's gonna be
a really busy, like, press work.

Why so passionate about wellness?

Once I had Mason,

researching what am I gonna feed him?

It was like a...

KOURTNEY: You wanna try a Lemme Matcha?

It's sustained energy
'cause it's B12 and CoQ10.

You could have two if you want.
NINA: All right, let's try one.

Love, love, love.

This feels very different.

SIMON: We're now going to the 20th floor.

KOURTNEY: We have Lemme Focus,

which I feel like I need
right at this very second.

And...

Why am I blanking?

-This is what happens at this hour.
-[ALL LAUGHING]

SIMON: Should we do this one? Okay.

KOURTNEY: Having good people around

that are supportive is, like, everything.

-We will be done, Megan...
-MEGAN: We will be done...

-In 30 minutes?
-MEGAN: Yeah.

-If not less.
-Great.

Just, like, it was
a really good team around me,

and I think that makes all the difference.

I am the sustainability
director for Boohoo,

and creative directed their fashion show.

KKB!

Congrats on your collab with Boohoo.

-This is...
-Thank you.

♪♪

We did the Tommy Hilfiger fashion show

that Travis was drumming at,

and it was, like, amazing.

INTERVIEWER: Do you have a favorite
of the gummies?

Um, I would say... I mean, Lemme Matcha

is the most delicious,

in my opinion.

Our Lemme press day was a success,

and that it's, like,
the buildup that led up

to this moment of five years of work

that really got to this place,

and all the decisions,
and all the meetings,

and everything that went into it,

I think, like, knowing
that it's finally here,

it's just the best feeling in the world,

and I feel really proud.

-So fun. Thanks, guys.
-Nice to meet you.

KOURTNEY Did you guys try any gummies?

-Hi.
-Hello.

SIMON: Hello.

-How are you?
-Hey, hey.

-Oh my god, look at you. Hi.
-How's it going?

-Hi.
-KENDALL: This is very Kendall-approved.

Wait, I think I'm gonna
take this jacket off

-for a second.
-Lemme Give You a Kiss.

I love Kourtney's new passion,
and I'm into Lemme Chill.

I'm into Lemme Leave Me Alone.

[LAUGHS] I'm into Lemme Get the
Hell Outta Here.

Lemme Have a Martini.

Did you guys hear about
Khloé's results for her face?

-Yeah. We're good.
-I was, like, crying.

We need to, like, really
manage our stress levels,

and, like,

just take care of ourselves.
It's so important.

When you're exhausted, she doesn't sleep,

or stressed, she's been the most stressed

-person of all time. That's... Hence why
-KOURTNEY: Yeah, yeah.

-she's lost a lotta weight...
-Of all the things to happen

-to her this year.
-KENDALL: That's why she got...

-Mom, but that's, but that's why.
-Well, that's why.

-That's what I'm saying.
-KOURTNEY: Well, it all happens.

-KRIS: Right... right.
-My therapist will say to me like,

"It's okay to not be perfect.
Like, it's okay if..."

'Cause I will... I'll be like,

-"No, this and that, and that."
-KENDALL: Yeah.

And it comes from you,

-and it's a good quality
-KENDALL: I know, it does.

Everything. Everything is my fault.

Yeah. Name something. It's my fault.

Whatever quality happens to come to mind,

it's my fault

because I gave birth to them

and I raised them, so... arrest me.

-It's my fault. The stress...
-It's... No, it is a good quality...

-KENDALL: It is. It is.
-'cause it gets us...

It, it, it's like a... This is perfection.

Also, like, like, I'm a control freak.

-Same.
-KENDALL: And my, my therapist tells...

-We all are.
-I know,

-but, like, she's like, "That's great."
-Is that my fault, too?

-It is. It is.
-KENDALL: Channel it.

-It is. It, literally, is.
-KRIS: Perfect. Everything

-in the world is my fault.
-She's like, "Channel it

-into your work, though."
-Yeah... yeah.

Like, channel it somewhere.
You don't have to do that

in your personal life.
KOURTNEY: At home. Yeah.

You don't have to do it at home.

Just channel it into the right places...

-KOURTNEY: Yeah, yeah.
-and then it's all good.

-So... channeling.
-KOURTNEY: Oh my gosh...

-All right, guys, I'll see you later.
-He'll say whatever you want.

Congratulations, Kourtney.

-Thanks, Mom.
-So happy for you.

So excited.

-KRIS: And they're delicious.
-Five years in the making.

KRIS: I'm so proud of Kourtney.
She worked so hard,

so I'll take the blame for everything

that I've passed on down to my kids

that has anything to do
with, you know, their anxiety

over why they're such
perfectionists themselves.

I have to run over to Bergdorf's
real quick if you wanna go.

-I would walk with you. Yeah.
-Really? Let's go.

-KOURTNEY: Bye, guys!
-KENDALL: I'll see you! Love you!

Bye.

♪♪

NORTH: Mom, do you want
a regular nose, or a pig nose,

or a big nose, or a small nose?

I'm so scared of a pig nose.

Well, we don't want a witch nose,

-but...
-NORTH: This one?

-KIM: Yeah.
-[NORTH LAUGHS]

Oh my god. You have all this stuff?

Oh my god. Where do you get this?

-KIM: We go to, like, legit makeup stores.
-SCOTT: This is cool.

-You don't wanna look like this?
-No.

There's so much to do before Milan.

But until then, I always try
to find, like, little things

that each one of my kids
and I can do alone.

And, you know, I have different,

little activities
and things that I do with them.

[NORTH GIGGLES]

Look how old you look already.
We're not even done.

-Old with a big nose.
-NORTH: Yeah.

North loves makeup. She loves special
effects makeup.

She loves prosthetics
and loves to do these pranks.

SCOTT: So, what would your dream day be
if nobody knew who you were?

-KIM: Go on Melrose. Go down Venice Beach.
-SCOTT: Cruise.

Just, like, rollerblade.

-SCOTT: Ooh, rollerblade.
-Last time I was there, I would

rollerblade up and down Venice Beach.

SCOTT: Mm-hmm.

What would you say
you miss the most pre-fame?

I don't wanna be that girl like,
"Oh my god. I miss this, I miss this."

-Like, I-I also don't...
-SCOTT: All right, so, just like...

-wanna live in, like, the past.
-SCOTT: 'Kay.

-I just think it's like...
-I feel like it was just

-probably easier to get around.
-KIM: I wonder what life

would be like now

if we, if we didn't take that road

-and didn't take that journey.
-Oh my god.

Like, what would our life...
I mean, we definitely

-wouldn't be living here.
-SCOTT: We should do an episode.

We should do an episode where we all

go back to where we would be.

Probably have a bunch of Dash stores.

-I'd be working at, like, Macy's.
-No, you would not.

I loved it.

First of all,
you were such an entrepreneur,

even when you were a kid,
when you were sellin' the boots,

and you were hustling all day.

You had the clothing stores already, like,

you would've built some
kind of franchise of business.

Mm-hmm. I know something
that is hard for my mom.

-NORTH: What?
-She's been really sad, like,

"What did I do?

Like, did I create them
to get to this level?"

-Right, and nobody has, like,
-KIM: To where, like, they're...

easy happiness.

Yeah. Like, everyone just has...

-She thinks it's all, like...
-SCOTT: Right, I get it.

And everybody kinda has

something great,
but then there's something bad.

-And I can handle it all, so.
-Well, yeah, you're a beast.

But even just, like, the bad stuff,

I'm like, "I can handle it."

-Like, when everyone writes me,
-SCOTT: Yeah.

and they're like, "Are you okay?"

-I'm just like...
-SCOTT: Dude, have you ever been, like,

really down?

-Like, depressed? Like, ever?
-Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

See, what's so crazy is

-when my dad d*ed...
-SCOTT: Mm-hmm.

I remember,

like, automatically being like,

"Okay, I'm gonna speak at the funeral.

-This is happening."
-Just next step, just moving.

Like, my dad, like, left us

'cause now we have to finally grow up,

-and, like, we have to figure it out...
-Hey. Shh, shh.

-[NORTH FARTS]
-And I'm like...

-[LAUGHS] North.
-SCOTT: What?

-The sound of the police? Woop-woop.
-[KIM AND NORTH LAUGHING]

-You better check your pants, kid.
-[KIM LAUGHING]

That is so...

There's definitely a little
dingleberry cop poppin' off. I liked it.

-[LAUGHING] That was... It smells...
-By the way, smells delicious.

KIM: Mom life in a nutshell.

I am in a deep conversation,

and then, you know, North is... a kid.

I feel like you should put
on, like, a long, black coat

and, like, a, a wig or something, though.

-Okay, get me a wig.
-Yeah.

SCOTT: To the wigs. To the wigs!

This one's pretty k*ller.

-KIM: I'll put it in the coat.
-Line it up.

KIM: 'Kay.

-[NORTH LAUGHS]
-Oh my god, that's legendary.

I think you could go out
like that, honestly.

[GASPS] Let's say you're
my new art teacher.

Yes! Okay, let's say
I'm your new art teacher.

-[ALL LAUGHING]
-KIM: Introduce me to the kids.

-What's her name?
-NORTH: Annika.

KIM: Annika. [LAUGHS]

NORTH: You wanna see my new art teacher?

She's over here!

So, Annika, how long
have you been teaching art?

Annika! The security's here to meet you!

SCOTT: This is the new art
teacher, Annika.

She'll be around.
Just wanted you to know her.

-Hello.
-I'm Andrew. [INDISTINCT]

-the security for the house.
-SCOTT: Okay.

I guess North really
wanted me to meet you.

-SCOTT: Yeah. Annika, she'll be around.
-KIM: Hi.

-SCOTT: Just don't...
-Very nice.

-[KIM LAUGHING]
-Kim just picked her off the street.

-How lovely.
-SCOTT: But we love her.

-She's just a bit weird.
-Nice to meet you.

Tricked you! That's actually my mom.

-Oh my.
-[SCOTT AND NORTH LAUGHING]

ANDREW: Wow, I never would've

-guessed that.
-Really?

Never.

[KIM LAUGHING]

SCOTT: He was like,
"It's very nice to meet you."

KIM: I could not look you in your eyes.

[DEEP VOICE] Hey, little girl, come here.

[SOFTLY] I'm just gonna start laughing.

-[DEEP VOICE] Hi, I'm Annika.
-[SCOTT SNORTING]

NORTH: Chi, do you like my
new art teacher?

[KIM LAUGHING]

[SCOTT AND NORTH LAUGHING]

KIM [DEEP VOICE]:
Hello, little girl. I'm Annika.

What's your name?

SCOTT: Do you, do you like art?

[DEEP VOICE] Do you wanna
do an art class with me?

-[SCOTT AND NORTH LAUGHING]
-KIM: What's your name?

-Do you like art?
-[NORTH LAUGHING]

KIM: I don't even know where
I got Annika's voice from.

I was just trying to sound
so different than my own.

I think she just, like, had a deep voice.

[DEEP VOICE] Like, "Hi, I'm Annika."

-[NORTH LAUGHING]
-She had no idea.

-She was so scared.
-KIM: Okay.

She doesn't know it's me.

SCOTT: She doesn't...

-My nanny didn't even know it was me.
-Annika!

-[FACETIME RINGING]
-Hi.

KRIS [ON PHONE]: I'm just
sitting here talking to Kylie.

-Oh.
-KRIS: Say hi, Kylie.

-KYLIE [ON PHONE]: Hi!
-KRIS: Scott.

Yeah. This girl I've been
seeing for a while, Annika.

KRIS: Hi, Annika! Uh.

Uh.

No, she's not. She's fine. Say hi. Say hi.

-Whatever. Anyway.
-[KIM LAUGHING]

-[SCOTT AND NORTH LAUGHING]
-KRIS: It's okay. Don't make...

Don't put pressure on anybody.

No, I wouldn't. She's fine. She's...

She kinda looks like
Kim and Kylie a little.

-Look.
-KRIS: Oh, wow.

[SCOTT LAUGHING]

SCOTT: No.

[DEEP VOICE] It's Annika.

-[ALL LAUGHING]
-KRIS: Hey, Annika.

[NORTH SQUEALS]

SCOTT: She's the new art teacher!

I'm the new art teacher, Annika.

She specializes in arts and farts!

-KRIS: North, did you do this?
-NORTH: Yeah.

-KRIS: Oh my god.
-We were dying.

Chi had no clue who I was.

-Chi ran away.
-She got so... She peed her pants.

She... Yeah, she peed
her pants and ran away.

KRIS: Oh my god.
Oh, Northie, that's horrible.

-[KRIS LAUGHS]
-Good time. We got ya.

-KRIS: Bye.
-SCOTT: Love ya.

-KRIS: [CHUCKLES] I love you.
-Bye.

-I'll tell you, Khloé's gonna be jealous.
-KIM: Mm-hmm.

'Cause I usually don't
prank people without her.

You know what's so interesting?

I'm the new Kourt and Khloé...

-Combined?
-with me and Khloé, like,

and I'm the new Khloé and Scott.

So, you're everything combined in one man,

-like the '99 Summer Jam.
-Mm-hmm.

I just like the pranks of it all.

Like, I just love the, like,
game that North and I are play...

Like, she's loving this.

Arts and farts.

-[NORTH FARTS]
-Oh, she's back!

-[KIM AND NORTH LAUGHING]
-Just when ya thought it was all art,

-she comes back with a fart.
-[LAUGHING] It was getting too artsy.

-[SCOTT LAUGHS]
-KIM: It's, like, I just love

making her happy,

and seeing her see me and Scott happy,

and laughing, and silly,
and, like, it's just fun.

[LAUGHS]

I think I can hit the town,
and no one would know who I am.

What do you think? All thanks to you.

You know, just, like, afterwards,

she said to me when we were going to bed,

she's like,
"Mom, I just love you so much."

And I was just...
She's like, "I had so much fun."

And, like, that is worth everything,

worth looking like a cr... you know,

like this ridiculous person
with a big nose.

♪♪

♪♪

KOURTNEY: I love when my baby's
in charge of directions. [LAUGHS]

-You really wanna watch this go down?
-Yeah, I can't wait...

-TRAVIS: I'm taking you straight there.
-KOURTNEY: for you to guide me.

TRAVIS: Twelve minutes away, my love.

On these work trips, like,
it's good to have a balance,

and any free time that we have,

we are making the most of it.

These things keep falling.

I don't think they're made
for walking around.

-They're quitters?
-I don't think they're

walker friendly.

Babe, it's, like, every three seconds now.

-I think I'm, like, stretching them as...
-Can we just take 'em off?

-[LAUGHS] No.
-Okay.

-Hold this. I need...
-Hold on, you guys.

I need to do a serious...

No. I wish I did.

I wish I had a healthy role model.

I created my own couple goals.

Remember last time
it was raining in New York,

and I carried you to our hotel?

-Yeah, on your back?
-Mm-hmm.

-That was so fun.
-My feet hurt.

It's like an attitude of gratitude.

Yeah.

Yep.

-Hello. Hi.
-Hi.

-Thank you.
-[TRAVIS LAUGHS]

Thank you.

Oh, here.

["ELECTRIC SMILE" BY
CAMERON PHILIP PLAYING]

KOURTNEY: Hi.

♪ I was nervous 'cause I thought you
were so pretty ♪

I think New York was a whirlwind.

It was nonstop. It was amazing,

but, like, my priorities
are always gonna be

kids, and husband, and family...

-Thank you.
-Yeah, enjoy.

KOURTNEY: and then work.

Those other things
are just more important,

and I think they always will be.

♪ So, when I call out,
will you come my way ♪

-Cheers.
-Cheers, my baby.

♪ Say my name ♪

♪ And all I ever think
about is that electric smile ♪

♪ That electric smile ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪♪

KIM: So, we just landed in Milan.

The grind is about to begin,

and they tell me that
my stylist forgot her passport.

Oh my god.

So, what are we gonna do?

-TRACY ROMULUS: Chuck?
-CHUCK: Yes.

Who's gonna make sure Dan...
we figure out Danielle?

CHUCK: Don is on the situation right now.

-TRACY: He is?
-Yes, yes.

I'm being told that we're
waiting for police to clear her

to be able to get off the plane.

-CHUCK: Yep.
-TRACY: Oh god.

CHUCK: It's just, like,
it's gonna take a miracle.

KIM: Danielle is my stylist,

so she picks out my outfits,
and we go over our looks,

and she sources them.

As far as what Kim's
wearing in her everyday life,

like, the Micro Sicily
is probably... Like, it's so her.

How am I gonna walk into these meetings

and tell everyone
what I like and don't like

when it's, like,
her and I curating it together.

I need her.

She needs to get the passport flown here...

-TRACY: We need her here for meetings.
-to save time

because I need her
here for all the meetings

-and all of the design stuff.
-So, we, we need to figure out

getting someone on the plane
with her passport

-here to L.A.
-So, we need to find someone...

-TRACY: Maybe Adrian?
-to get them on the quickest plane

to Milan with her passport.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

KIM: They're saying
if they don't grant this,

and so far, there's no luck,

they'll send her back immediately

on a commercial flight.

She'll have to get her passport

and come right back.

What a [BLEEP] nightmare.

Like, my stylist,

who's supposed to be
dressing me the entire time.

What are we gonna do?

-This sucks.
-KIM: It's, like, a total accident.

We have three days 'til the show.

We don't even have one look...
fully put together.

-[CROSSTALK]
-PERSON: Right from the airport.

-How are you?
-KIM: Hi.

-Why you're so fresh?
-How are you?

-Ciao, Italia.
-Hi.

-This stylist work with us.
-Hi, how are you?

-Nice to meet you. It looks amazing.
-Nice to see you.

And there's so many things that I love.

We have to style everything.

They made everything.

Now, we have about 120 looks,

and we're gonna get that down
to about between 80 and 90.

KIM: And I really want people
to think it's fresh.

Like, I want people
to see how cool this is.

Of all the looks we've been
picking and going over, I just...

My stylist forgot her passport...

-Oh.
-DOMENICO: Oh.

so she is stuck on the plane,

-and they won't let her off.
-Oh, [BLEEP].

I really need Danielle here with me.

So, um, I don't know,
I always need someone

to, like, confirm that this looks good.

I don't know if I wanna do any veils

'cause I feel like I want...
It should all...

I don't know. We should talk

-with the whole team. Okay.
-Uh, look, we making that the model a lot.

-Yeah.
-I don't wanna lose this

because the people...

Maybe some, not a lot,

-two or three. Not like a obsession.
-Yeah, yeah.

-No.
-Yeah.

I'm really nervous to give notes

in front of Dolce and Gabbana
'cause they're the legends...

DOMENICO: Make more shiny.

KIM: and I don't wanna ever,
like, disrespect

what someone else thinks is great.

Okay. Sexy.

Just, I feel like we're missing
a lot of the, like, 90s stuff.

Are you sure you'd want
the crystal dress short?

'Cause I think I like it.

Like, if there's
something that I'm iffy on,

I would just need, like, Danielle

and them to help with this.

Like, I'm not sure. What do I do?

DOMENICO: I'm not crazy for
this kind of the glasses.

JACK BORKETT: Kim, what do you think?

KIM: I don't know.
I would talk to Danielle.

There's that fear inside
that you always wonder like,

"Are people gonna like this?"

And if it doesn't do as well,

then I do feel like this can
really hurt my future business.

People can say,

"Okay. She... might be
able to wear our clothes,

but she can't work on this side."

Like, "This isn't for her.
It didn't do well."

♪♪

Maybe, like, a top like this.

I'm super, super stressed right now.

I don't know how
I'm gonna be able to do this.

Next... next model.

I don't know.

Next on The Kardashians.

Should we try black, like,

tights under, like the photo or no?

Okay.

I think no glasses.

I think Danielle not being here
is happening for a reason.

-[ALL GASP]
-DOMENICO: Mamma mia! Gorgeous.

KIM: It's, like, perfection.

No, I, I trust Kylie on a horse.

You be a good boy, okay?

Oopsie.

[HORSE SQUEALS]

Kendall! Not today!

-[HORSE WHINNIES]
-Kendall.

She sees it as, like, the dollar signs.

I'm sorry. It just, like, upsets me.

'Cause it's not about, like, business.

It's just, like, legit copying my wedding.

She's mad at me?

["NEW LOVE" BY VANACORE MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ With what I had
but you brought me back ♪

♪ To this place, not lookin' back ♪

♪ No, you made me see ♪

♪ Helped me believe ♪

♪ You rectified, then certified
my inner self and all I have, oh ♪

♪ All those times I've redefined ♪

♪ It's led my way to you,
this new love, baby ♪

♪ Like we're young and crazy ♪

♪ Got me so high, it's so right ♪

♪ It's new love, baby ♪

Oh my god... Okay.

Oh, I hate that word.

I just hate every word like that.

I hate it.

Like, it's so gross.

I just... It-It, like...

I don't really like it.

Then it... I... Whatever.
I just don't even wanna talk about it.

[BELL TOLLS]
Post Reply