12x18 - Lord Disick Returns

[bunniefuu]

[Khloé] How's everything
on the home front?

-[Rob] I mean, it's been tough.
-[Khloé] You have to worry

about, Rob… and how you could be strong

and better for you, and now your baby.

Don't you want to get

-your [bleeps] together?
-[Rob] I do.

We're gonna go out of town for a month.

-Is Scott going?
-No.

[Scott] This is gonna be
the longest I'm away

from the kids and Kourt ever.

-[Khloé] How do you feel?
-Well, I'm kind of anxious.

[Scott] Any time I have
too much time on my hands,

I'm not exactly sure what to do.

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] Gabbana, go in and get it.

I accidentally threw the ball
in the Jacuzzi,

and she just, like, can't figure it out.

Is she in there just chilling?

[Khloé] It's right there, isn't it?

Just get on the step. Look.

-[Gabbana barking]
-I know, I'm trying to show you.

I don't get it. You'll jump in a pool,
you won't jump in a three-foot hot tub?

-[Khloé] Go!
-There's a [bleeps] staircase here.

[gasps] She went on the step, you guys.

[Scott] Uh-oh, gettin' it.

-Good girl, finally.
-Okay.

-There you go.
-Yeah.

[Scott] Whoa!

-This dog's a champion.
-[Khloé] Good girl.

[theme music]

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] Oh, Northie, come here right now.

-[Khloé squealing]
-[Kris] Northie.

[screams]

Hello.

[Khloé] Why are you so cute?

-What am I gonna do?
-Say hi to Uncle Robbie.

Did you say hi to Uncle Robbie?

Hey.

See what happens when you go
in hiding for three years?

So how the hell are you, haberstran?

[Rob] I'm good.

[Khloé] Are you and, like,
Chyna better, though?

Yeah, we're, like, completely all good.

-Oh, good.
-[Rob] Yeah, everything's good.

[Kris] You know what I was thinking, guys?

-MJ's birthday is coming up…
-[Kim] Mm-hm.

[Kris] …and I thought
we could all go down there

and have dinner with her for her birthday.

And we could take her
to the races the next day

-at Del Mar racetrack.
-[Khloé] Oh, cute.

-She likes that?
-[Kris] Her favorite thing to do

-is go to the races.
-[Kim] Can I bring the kids?

-[Kris] Yeah.
-I'm in.

[Kris] She would love that.

And Kourtney's going
to be back from her trip,

so she'll bring her kids, too.

But we could go down
and take her to dinner.

And we'll invite Chyna
so she can get to know her

-a little better.
-[Rob] Yeah.

That would be so much fun.

I really think it's important
that we go and celebrate

my mom's birthday with her
and bring the whole family.

Rob hasn't seen her in a long time,

so with Rob coming,
and if Chyna comes with him,

I think she would really,
really be excited.

Why do you have a bowl of marbles?

The bowl of marbles represent

how many weekends I have left in my life.

-[snorts]
-[Rob] What?

-How do you know, though?
-[Kris] Assuming I would live

-till 80 or 85.
-[Khloé] What happens

when you have four marbles left?

I know. I didn't think about it like that.

-[Khloé] Like, that's horrible.
-[Kim] Is that why they say

-you're losing your marbles?
-[Kris] I'm losing my marbles.

That's where the term comes from.

[upbeat music]

-[automated voice] Turn left.
-[Khloé] Oh, shut up!

-Hi.
-Fresh shave?

-Laser?
-I get laser hair removal.

-Look… You can't see my hair?
-You look real shiny.

-I have hair. Just little stubs.
-Nothing.

-[Khloé] Look, you can.
-Nothing.

[Khloé] They're little,
but look how thin they are.

-Oh, there.
-See?

How is real estate?
Like, flipping? Is that, like,

preoccupying your time and stuff?

You know, I mean, listen, all
the real estate stuff is great.

It's just at the end
of the night, when I lay

my head down on the pillow and I'm alone,

and it's, like, I know my kids
are across the country,

I just feel, like, super alone sometimes.

It's just tough, 'cause, like,
I see pictures she posted,

and, like, she'd send me videos
of the kids,

-and I'm just, like…
-That's good, though.

[Scott] It's amazing.
I don't want it any other way.

But then it just makes me
miss them more and more.

[Khloé] I get it's hard for Scott
to be away from Kourt and the kids,

but Kourtney and Scott are co-parenting,

and this has to be their new normal,

them having separate family vacations.

But that doesn't mean
that he should let this

dictate his happiness.
He can't just be miserable

'cause his kids are with their mom.

It's just sad. Like, it's just weird when,

you know, memories
are happening and I'm not there.

And that's usually when I get,
like, upset.

[upbeat music]

[Kris] I think we all have our,
like, individual style

that we just wear every single day.

Kim's into kimonas…

-What's a "kimona"?
-I was in robe because

-I was resting.
-It's a kimon-o.

-Kimono, kimono.
-[Khloé] Do you want me

to tell you what your style is?
You wear black?

No, no, can I tell you what her style is?

-Your style, yeah.
-Whatever I wear.

[Khloé] You guys, I'm worried about Scott.

I feel like he's in, like,

kind of like a low point in his life

with Kourtney and the family gone.

And you just, like,
get in a rut and you stay in it.

Don't you know about that lifestyle?

-I do.
-Right.

[Kris] I like it when
he was always really dressed up.

It reminded me of, like,
the Frank Sinatra days.

Well, I mean,
I miss the Lord version of Scott.

He needs to shave and wear a pocket scarf.

No, the beard has changed his life,

so he could be the Lord in other ways.

[Khloé] The last that I remember

that Scott was, like, fun and silly

was when he embodied the Lord.

[Simon] With this crown,
I crown you Scott Disick,

the new Lord of the Manor.

-[bell dings]
-Long live His Lordship.

What's up, London? Lord Disick is here!

[Khloé] He was always dressed to the nines

and was always, like, really elaborate,

-over the top.
-[Scott] Going up.

[Khloé] That looks great, Scott.

[laughter]

[Scott] Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

Tonight we dine like gentlemen.

But I feel like lately Scott's been, like,

forgetting to have fun
and takes life too seriously.

So I do wish that we got some more
of the Lord version of Scott.

And maybe help him find
some happiness just for him.

[Khloé] When you talk to me, what do you…

What's your focal point?

-Like, what do you stare at?
-I don't know. Nothing bad.

-[Khloé] Oh, are you sure?
-[Rob] Yeah.

'Cause you look at my teeth a lot.

And I'm wondering is something in them?

It's hard for me to talk to somebody…

What… You just looked at my teeth again.

-What's in them?
-[laughs]

Nothing, they're good.

[upbeat music]

-[waitress] Edamame.
-Thank you.

[Larsa] So what's going on
with Miss North?

-Thank you.
-[Kim] She had her…

second violin lesson today.

-She loves it.
-Oh! That's so cute.

She's, like, so obsessed.

The teacher was like,
"She's gonna learn to read music

before she can read the alphabet."

That's so cool. Sophia's like,
"North is so lucky.

Her dad is gonna teach her how to sing,

like how Daddy teaches the boys
how to play basketball."

[Kim] So cute.

Do you have to do the boys' hair?

[Larsa] No, the boys do their own hair.

You just have to keep their hair short.

[Kim] Then you don't have
to worry about it.

Yeah.

But Sophia's hair is, like, work.

Like, Sophia just started
not crying when I wash her hair,

'cause it would get so, like, knotty.

And, like, brushing through the back part

of her hair was always, like, work.

[Kim] I've got to figure out
how to do North's hair.

I can do her hair in a ponytail or a bun.

[Larsa] That's cute.
I love her hair in a bun.

But she'll be like,
"I want a braid like Elsa."

-I like how they love Elsa.
-[Kim] Totally,

but I'm not that good
at braiding her hair,

and I really want to learn how.

North is so proud of her curly hair,

but she's very opinionated

on how she wants to wear her hair.

And as a mom, you don't want
to have to tell her,

"I don't know how to do your hair."

It's, like, such a prideful thing
to be able to make her look pretty

and make her feel confident.

It's important to me.

North said to me,
"Mama, you want curly hair?"

And I said yeah, and she goes,
"Okay, how you get curly hair,

you get a spray bottle, and you go…

[crunching]

…and you scrunch, scrunch, scrunch.

And that's how you get good curls."

And I'm like, "Okay."

[Larsa] She already knows how
to do her own hair.

-[Kim] Okay.
-That's so freakin' cute.

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] Oh, my God,
there's a mouse filter.

When I'm a mouse.

The dog filter doesn't work.

What's this new Snapchat on Instagram?

I don't know. I don't like change.

I just got used to this Snapchat.

[Kris] Hey, guys.

-[Khloé] Hey, Mom.
-Hey, LD.

What in God's name are you doing?

This is for you.
We're bringing back the Lord.

-[Scott] What the…
-[Kris] Yeah.

-This is epic.
-[Scott] Should I have

-every one of these hanged?
-[Kris] Ep… ic.

We miss the Lord, okay? So bring it back.

My mom and I decided that
we want to try to prevent

any more of our family
members from being, like,

stuck in a dark, sad place.

So why not show Scott his old Lord swag

and see if he misses it
the way we miss the Lord?

You know what this is.

-Is that from the Hamptons?
-[Kris] Yes, it is.

You guys don't call me
a hoarder for nothing.

Look how gorgeous you are.

I've always wanted
to wrap myself in velvet.

-That was on the flagpole?
-[Kris] Yes.

I never knew you guys
wanted the Lord back so bad.

I actually thought the Lord
was a bit on the obnoxious side.

Oh!

-Oh!
-Oh, my God.

-Okey dokey.
-I'm not mad.

But the Lord does
bring out another side of me.

-[Khloé] Oh, my God.
-[Kris] Exactly.

This is exactly what I'm talking… about.

[Scott] I'm not gonna lie.

Seeing all my old, uh,
Lord paraphernalia feels pretty good.

I mean, I just felt like
when I was a lord,

I was flying all over the world,
getting in trouble.

But if everybody wants it,
I'm more than happy to bring it back.

[Kris] Look what I found.

-[Kris laughs]
-[Scott gasps]

-This is almost like…
-Look.

-…bone with a horse handle.
-[Kris] Look.

[clanks]

Yeah. Let me see if I still got it.

[Kris laughs]

[Scott] Yeah.

[laughs]

[Scott] I appreciate you guys
wanting the Lord back.

It's getting me excited, really is.

[upbeat music]

Chyna. Hey, Khloé wants
to ask you something.

I have a real question.

So, I want to know how to, like,
isolate my upper thighs

-and make them, like, wiggle.
-Okay.

[Khloé] How do I do that?

You just, kind of, like, wiggle your legs.

-Am I doing it? Am I doing it?
-[Chyna] Like your thigh muscles.

-She's wearing jeans.
-[Chyna] You can't have

-on jeans, though.
-Oh, okay.

[Chyna] And then, once that wiggles,

then your ass wiggles.

[laughs] Yes.

Okay, you got to…
you got to really teach me in-depth.

[Chyna] No, I'll show you,
it's super easy.

Oh, good. Good. Okay. Thank you. Bye.

-[Chyna] Y'all are so fun.
-All right.

I'll call you later.

[Khloé] It is really nice
that my sisters and I

are forming a better
relationship with Chyna.

And it's just good to have no bad energy

or tension within the family,
that everyone is just

smooth and cordial,
and this is what family is.

-Well, hello there.
-[Rob] Hi.

-Should we go in your room?
-[Malika] Hi, Roberto.

[Rob] Hey, my little friend.
Wait, your bed looks smaller.

[Malika] Well, that's 'cause
it's covered in pillows.

[Khloé] Leave my pillows alone.

[laughs]

[Malika] So, what are you two doing?

Um, MJ's birthday is on Tuesday.

And we're all going to this horse race

because Mom met my dad
at the Del Mar racetrack,

and, like, she's told us this story

-every day.
-[Malika] Well, that's…

-I don't know if I could do that.
-What?

[Rob] I can't go
to the horse races and stuff.

I just don't feel comfortable
wearing the same shirt,

-and shorts, and sandals…
-[Khloé] If you wear sweats…

-[Rob] …and a hat.
-[Khloé] …I'll wear sweats.

What do I care?

I'm just not comfortable.

'Cause it's what?

'Cause of my weight,
I'm just not comfortable, like…

[Khloé] So you're not coming to San Diego?

[Rob] I… I mean, I might.

Might not.

[Khloé] Obviously,
I know clothes is a big deal

and you want to feel comfortable,

but I also want Rob to come
and kind of push himself

to make these memories.

My grandmother is, you know, turning 82,

and God forbid anything were to happen,

I think he would be really upset
with himself about that.

[Khloé] Rob, you said you were gonna come.

[Rob] I know.

[Khloé] It's your grandmother's


How could you not go?

[Rob groans]

I don't know.

[upbeat music]

Being in London brings back
so many memories of being royal,

and I just feel like
I need a plane already.

This is the only thing I've never gotten.

[Scott] Being back in London

definitely reminds me of my roots.

And when I say "roots,"
I mean my lordship,

where I became the Lord.

-You should get that one.
-Wow.

Look at that [bleeps] thing.

[Scott] I think Khloé and Kris are right.

I need to let the Lord back out.

And going shopping at the biggest air show

in the world is not a bad place to start.

I got rid of the Bugatti.
I should buy a fighter jet, no?

[Chris] Imagine trolling around Calabasas?

This has got to be quicker than a Bugatti.

You know, if I'm gonna get
my Lord back on, I think

I definitely need to bring
Lord Airways into the mix.

[Chris] Does this come in a two-seater?

-It might get lonely in there.
-[Scott] Get a picture of me.

This is not bad.

[Scott] I don't think there's anything
more royal you could do

than probably owning
your own private aircraft.

Only 40 million bucks.

That's not that bad.

Forty million pounds for a one-seater?

[Scott] Two seater's probably


It's cab fare.

I've narrowed it down

to at least I know which brand I want.

-And it's definitely Gulfstream.
-[Chris] Definitely Gulfstream.

A lord wouldn't fly in anything
less than a Gulfstream.

And it's true. It makes sense.

-Lordstream.
-[Chris laughs]

Lordstream.

What are you gonna put
on the side of the plane?

Lord.

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] Are we gonna go swimming today?

-[kids] Yeah!
-[Khloé] Yeah.

-One…
-Hi.

…two, three.

-Yay! Kick, kick, kick…
-What are you doing, Northie?

Ready, set, dive.

-[laughter]
-[applause]

-[North speaks indistinctly]
-[all cheering]

[Khloé] How cute is her dive?

So, Rob says he's not coming to San Diego?

No, well, he said,
you know, he's just insecure,

he has no new clothes,

and he just doesn't feel, like,
appropriate going like that.

That's weird.

Who knows, he might come.

-[Khloé] But you know.
-Yeah.

Call him and talk him into it.
Where are you going, Ryan?

[Kim] All right, I'll call him.

I understand that Rob
is not comfortable in his own skin

and he doesn't have anything to wear,

but, like, it's not a reason
to miss my grandma's birthday.

We can pull clothes for him.
We can have stuff made.

Like, as long as he's open to the idea,

we can definitely find him
something to wear.

-[line rings]
-[Rob] Yo.

Hey, what are you doing?

[Rob] We're driving to take some pictures.

-We're going to Reseda.
-[Kim] Oh, that's cute.

What I wanted to see
if you didn't want to come to San Diego

'cause you were, like, insecure
and couldn't find anything to wear,

we can, like, find a stylist
to get you, like, stuff.

[Rob] I mean,

I'm just sick and tired of wearing, like,
Gucci sandals, and a black T-shirt

and a Dodger hat. You know what I mean?
Especially to the horse race stuff.

[Kim] Yeah, but we never know
how many birthdays she's gonna have left,

and I just don't want you to use, like,

"Oh, I have nothing to wear" as an excuse

-for, like, another year.
-[Rob] Yeah.

[Kim] I think you have to, like,
just for even your own soul,

like, you have to just start
getting up and getting dressed

and, like, getting motivated.

[Rob] I know.

I mean, if we can find something,
yeah, obviously I'm happy to try stuff.

All right, let me see what I can do

and, like, what I could find,

-and we'll go from there.
-[Rob] All right.

Okay, I'm gonna take a five-minute nap.

[upbeat music]

[camera shutters clicking]

-Hi.
-[man] Welcome to Kimble Studio.

-Hi. How are you?
-[man] How you doing?

[Khadijah] Good. How are you?

-[Kim] Ooh, look at those braids.
-It's like teal at the bottom.

-Hi!
-[Kim] How are you?

[Kimble] Good.

Kim Kimble is a celebrity hairstylist

who teaches how to do
different hair techniques.

So it's, like, so exciting
that we're gonna meet with her

and she's gonna teach us how to braid

and how to just take care of curly hair.

I'm, like, struggling.

North's hair is, like, ringlets,
like, curly, curly, curly,

so I definitely want her to, like,

feel proud of her hair and wear it…

Like, anytime she sees
someone with curly hair,

she, like, runs up to them and was like,

"You have curly hair like me."

-Aw.
-And I just want to, like,

figure out how to do her hair.

I mean, Khadijah and I
talk about it all the time.

I literally can't do my child's hair.

-[Kim laughs]
-It's kinda bad, it's kinda bad.

I can absolutely help you,
I can show you how to work

-with curly hair…
-Okay.

…and if you want me to,
I can give you some little

-braid techniques.
-'Kay.

You can do some just little cute…
that's really cute now.

So, with the braid,
you take three separate pieces…

-[Kim] Uh-huh.
-[Kimble] …and you just take your finger

underneath the top piece…
and then you go under.

You got to braid it so it's onto the hair.

I know. I just don't know how to do that.

[Kimble] See, I'm working
all three, and as I'm going,

I'm grabbing pieces of hair

and connecting it with that piece here.

-[Kim] Yeah.
-[Kimble] So, I would start

-with this one going under.
-Under. This one?

And then now this goes in this hand
and that goes in that hand.

Now that part going under.

-Under the middle.
-[Kim] Okay, okay.

And that goes under, and then, like…

[Kimble] Uh-oh, you're back going in,
you're going in now.

-It's the other way.
-Okay. So…

-[Kimble giggles]
-[Kim] This is bad.

[Khadijah laughs]

It's definitely overwhelming figuring out
how to do these braids.

I ruined this whole girl.

[Kim] I honestly thought

it would be so much easier to learn,

but I feel like, with practice,
I know I can totally do it.

You know what? I can give you
one of these to take home

-if you want to practice.
-[Kim] Really?

And then at the next session, I can just…

-Oh, my gosh, North… yes.
-[Kimble] Check it out for you.

-[Kim] Thank you so much.
-No problem.

-Any time.
-Like, this is super helpful.

[upbeat music]

-Hi. Oh, that's a cool outfit.
-[Kim] Hi.

Thanks.

I like that, and it makes you
look skinny and [bleeps].

Yeah.

What's on the bottom of your shoes?

[Scott] What is it?

[Kim] Five hundred dots.

[Scott] You just counted that?
What are you [bleeps] Rain Man?

-No. I didn't count your dots.
-[Scott] Who are you?

[Kim] Those look like the little
velvet stickers.

-[Scott] A weird chick.
-You know, that you put under something.

[Scott] I actually put


How was, um…

-the aviation show?
-Oh. Insane.

-It was?
-[Scott] One of the sickest trips

-I've ever been on.
-Really?

Literally, every company

that makes airplanes,
whether they're private jets,

business jets, fighter jets,
all come to this show,

and I just looked at, like,
everything, just 'cause,

you know, it's not easy
when you're shopping for a jet,

it's not like just going
to a car dealership

so it's the only time you can,
kind of, compare

plane by plane…

Wait. You're looking for a plane?

-[Scott] Yeah.
-Why?

[Scott] I'm over cars.
I've been there and done it.

I've had everything.

Now the next step is airplanes,
you know what I mean?

It's been fun trying to figure out
what kind of aircraft I want,

what kind of configuration I want.

And I'd obviously put "Lord" on the side,

nothing pretentious, you know what I mean?

[Kim] I'm kind of getting worried
that Scott's missing the point.

We didn't mean to fly to London
and go buy a jet.

We all just miss the Scott that was just

so wild and fun, you know?
Not, like, extreme.

[Scott] I mean, I'm thinking
about chartering a plane

to get to San Diego.

Mm. Well, I think
that's a bit extravagant.

It's definitely a bit extravagant,
but Daddy needs a plane.

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] You have a ducky in your pool.

-You got to see it.
-[Rob] Oh.

Let me get my Snapchat.

[Khloé] Hello, my little friend.

-[Rob] It's a duck in the pool.
-[Khloé] The little guy.

-With the big one.
-[Rob] With the big duck.

Oh, he's cleaning himself.

[Khloé] Quacker. Hi.

Do you remember me?

-No!
-[Rob] No! Khloé!

I wanted him to feel comfortable.

-It's really hot out here.
-It's really hot.

[Rob] I'm wearing a hat and I'm hot.

So, Kim sent all these people to…

for me to try these clothes on.

Nothing's gonna fit me, though,
so, we'll be good.

It'll be real quick.

[Khloé] I totally get why Rob
doesn't have the best attitude

when it comes to this.

He's uncomfortable in his own body.

Trying on clothes is really
the last thing he wants to do.

But I'm gonna stay positive,

and I hope that he finds something
he feels great in

and he's gonna want to come to San Diego?

We got a ton of, like,
super dope stuff for you to try on.

Yeah.

[Khloé] So, what are you
comfortable wearing?

'Cause all you do is wear black right now.

Are you come… like, do you just
want to stick with black?

I don't even know.

Do you want to try on a pair of jeans?

[Rob] I mean, honestly,
I'm just more comfortable

with the baseball hat
and sweat shorts and sandals.

But you can't just wear,
like, a black T-shirt

and basketball shorts every day.

[Rob] No. I get it…

[Khloé] I'm a little confused
by how Rob is acting.

You know, his complaint is that
he has no clothes to wear to San Diego,

but now that he has options
of clothes to wear,

he's not even willing to try on anything.

I mean, I, like,
wasn't even comfortable, like…

over a hundred pounds ago, so…

If you just tell me, like, a genre…

Like, if you don't want to be in, like

a suit for this, that's fine.

I'm just not comfortable, like…

I don't know.

[light music]

[Khadijah] See, if only
I could take Celine's head…

-[Malika] Khadijah, what?
-[Khadijah] Stick it in between

my legs like this,
then I would be able to do this.

Oh, for, like, a split second,
I thought that was, like, a kid.

[Khadijah] I just said if I could get…

Do you know my nanny was holding that?

-Really?
-[Kim] And the housekeeper walked in

and was, like, in the back, going,

-"Northie, you're still here?"
-[laughter]

And then she was like, "Wait, no, it's a…"

You're like, uh, "That is the furthest

from what my daughter looks like.

-Thanks."
-I know.

[Malika] Wouldn't it be nice
if you could give North

-two, like, French braids?
-That's, like, my dream.

I wanted… I want you to try and braid.

Okay. So, let me show you
how I would do it.

Now, lay that one down.

And grab.

[tense music]

Kimberly, this is becoming a braid
not attached to her head.

I know, I forgot this side.

[Kim] I just don't get why this
is, like, still so difficult.

I've been practicing a lot,

and my braiding skills are a disaster.

I just really hope that
I can figure this out.

[Malika] In a way, does it bother you?

Do you feel like, I don't know
how to do my daughter's hair?

-[Kim] Yeah.
-[Khadijah] It's kind of embarrassing.

You know, I don't think
you need to be embarrassed,

but I think you guys would feel
so much better if you were like,

-"I can do my daughter's hair."
-Yeah.

[upbeat music]

-[Kim] Who is that?
-[Scott] Scott.

-[Kim] Hi. What are you doing?
-Just roaming around.

You're just bored, in the area?

You can play with Saint.

He's literally the best.

But he said "Dada"
the other day, and I was like,

"How dare you not say 'Mama' first?"

-And I was like…
-[exhales]

Starting off young with problems.

Wait, what's going on with my brother?

He just deleted
all of the pictures of Chyna…

-[Scott] Oh, no.
-And everywhere in the media,

-it says they're broken up.
-Oh, [bleeps].

[Kim] Let's call Rob.

[line ringing]

[automated voice] I'm sorry,
the person you are trying to…

Something's going on.

He's not answering my calls,
and I texted him…

[Scott] I just wrote him, too.
I'm supposed to look at houses

today at four o'clock with him.

Does this mean he's not gonna come
to San Diego, probably?

[Kim] Totally.

I mean, I can call Chyna.

[Scott] I think we go for it.

[line ringing]

-[Chyna] Hello.
-Hi.

-[Chyna] Hey.
-What are you doing?

[Chyna] Um, about to start
getting my makeup done.

What are you doing?

[Kim] I just, um,
am sitting here with Scott,

but I've been trying
to get a hold of my brother,

and he is totally MIA.

Oh, and then he deleted
all of his Instagrams.

-Like a lunatic.
-[Chyna] Yeah.

He does stuff for, like, a reaction.

-Cry for help.
-[Chyna] Like, for example,

he asked me about his business stuff,

and then I gave him my honest opinion,

and then he got upset with me.

Like, I'm just trying to be stress-free,
'cause Rob doesn't realize,

like, when he's not in a good mood,

it affects everybody.
And I just don't want,

-like this stuff to transpire…
-Yeah.

-[Chyna] …to the baby, you know?
-[Kim] Yeah, totally.

[Chyna] Honestly,
I think he doesn't want to go

to MJ's birthday party on Tuesday.

-Stop.
-[Chyna] And I feel like

-that's what this is all about.
-[Kim] Totally.

[Chyna] "'Cause if I start
an argument with Chyna,

and I really don't want to go…"

-Totally.
-[Chyna] "…even more reason for me

not to go to MJ's party
and I can blame it on Chyna maybe."

-I just don't even know what to say.
-[Chyna] Yeah.

I know that Rob and Chyna have, like,
an unstable relationship.

There's obviously,
two sides to every story.

And, you know, they just know

how to push each other's buttons,

and my brother just, like, shuts down,

and doesn't really tell us because

he doesn't want us to turn
against him or against her.

So instead he just comes up
with all of these excuses.

[upbeat music]

[Scott] Thanks, guys,
for flying the friendly skies.

[Scott] Quite frankly,
with all this Lord talk,

I really didn't feel comfortable
driving all the way down

to San Diego,
especially with summer traffic.

All right, boys and girls,
let's get going.

[Scott] If I had to say
what would a lord do,

I know what he would do.
He'd charter an aircraft.

[Kourtney] All right, guys.
We're gonna rock and roll.

[light music]

-[North] Mama.
-[Kim] Yeah?

[babbling]

I fall asleep before her every night.

-[laughs]
-Have you, um, talked to Rob?

No.

No. I texted him my new number
and, like, he didn't respond.

No, I've been texting him and calling him

-and he won't answer.
-[phone ringing]

-[Kim] Hey.
-[Kourtney] Hi.

Are you guys on your way?

[Kourtney] Yeah, we're here.

We landed
and we're just driving to the hotel.

You landed?

[Kourtney] Yeah,
we took the airplane and now we're here.

-What?
-What?

That's crazy.

Okay, we'll see you soon.

I know I really wanted the Lord back,

but I feel like we're now
creating a monster.

I don't think, like…

Scott's really understanding,

like, what we mean when we,
like, bring the Lord back.

I don't want Scott to spend money.

I don't want Scott to be a douchebag again

and be obnoxious.

All I want is, like, a little personality.

That's all.

-Uh-oh. I can't control it.
-Oh!

-You just threw your Shopkins…
-I can't control it!

[screams] I just can't!

[laughs]

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] Come on, cheese.

[babbles]

[Khloé] Hold on. Hold my hand.

[Kim] We're all in San Diego
at the La Valencia.

We used to stay here when we were kids.

I love spending time with my grandma

and the whole family,
but I wish my brother was here.

-[Kim] What's up?
-Let's get this show on the road.

Hey. I know. You look great.

So, just so you guys know,
um, Chyna is gonna…

[Scott] You guys
are drinking tequila in here?

…meet us, yeah… at the restaurant.

So she's coming without him?

Yeah. Well, you know what?
Here's the thing.

She really wanted to come
and show her support for MJ

and say "happy birthday"
and be with all of us.

It's nice that she's…
it's nice that she's…

making an effort.

[Kim] I mean, I just think
that Rob just, like, honestly

has to just start being honest.
Like, enough with the excuses.

Like, we're never gonna believe him.

If you don't want to come,
just say, "I don't want to come."

That's what pisses me off
so bad about him.

She's trying to make an effort
for the both of them,

because I think she's
just throwing… you know,

a towel in the air, going,
"I don't even know what to do."

You think she just threw a towel
in the air?

Well, whatever it is.

[upbeat music]

[all] Hi.

-[Khloé] Happy birthday.
-[MJ] Look at this.

Oh, my gosh.

And the balloons…

-Hi.
-Hi, MJ.

Happy birthday, MJ.

-Happy birthday.
-[all] Cheers.

[Khloé] It's my MJ's birthday.
You look beautiful.

MJ, look how hot you look.

I know. I know.

-No, really. It's wild.
-I'm just kidding.

[MJ] So are you looking forward
to the races, girls?

Your mother and I grew up there.
[chuckles]

-Yes, we did.
-[Khloé] My mom found a husband there.

-Yeah.
-If we're going to feed them,

can we move them down one?

-Guys, let's all move down one seat.
-[Kourtney] Why, who's here?

[MJ] Who's here?

-Chyna, but she can sit there.
-And who's she with?

-Herself.
-[Kris] Herself.

Because Rob canceled.

Well, that's… that's a shame.
That's a shame.

Rob should've been the one to come.

[Kris] Well, guess what.

-Look at the glass half full.
-[MJ] All right.

[Kris] I don't want any negative waves.

It really makes me sad
when Rob misses any event,

and especially a family celebration.

But I need to be as positive as possible

to make my mom happy.

[upbeat music]

-[Chyna] Hi.
-[all] Hi.

-Well, look who's here.
-Hi.

-Hi.
-[Kris] Oh, my God.

[Chyna] Happy birthday.

-Thank you for coming.
-Happy birthday, MJ.

-Thank you for coming.
-Hi, everybody.

I don't know where to start. Hi, boo.

-How are you?
-You look so cute.

It sucks that Rob flakes,

but it's, like, so nice
that Chyna made this effort

to come down and spend
my grandma's birthday with us.

When you were texting Rob,
did it go through?

I texted him the night before I called you
and was like, "Have you talked to him?"

-Mm-hm.
-[Kim] This was what I sent him.

And I thought he would at least respond,
because it was, like, a cute baby pic.

-[Chyna] No, that's super cute.
-[Kim] You know what?

I almost feel like he likes it
when we're all stalking him.

But try to text again now…

and see if it says "delivered." [laughs]

I'm like, this dude…
like, he blocked all my friends.

Oh, he blocked you, too.

Why would he block us?

-[Kourtney] Khlo, what is that?
-Why would he block all of us?

-[MJ] Why?
-[Kim] Grandma, he's a little off.

[MJ] Tell… tell him, Chyna,
that Mary Jo wants to talk to him.

He blocked me, too.

-[Khloé] He blocked us.
-[Kim] What is he doing?

Does Rob normally, like,
just run away like that?

That's how he's been
for the last, like, three years.

Like, he came to my wedding.

-He went to a fitting.
-Yeah.

And he left.

-It's just who he is.
-That's crazy.

I don't even know, like,
what the answer is.

Yeah.

[Kim] It was really nice, though,
that you came

to, um, my grandma's birthday…

that you drove all the way out,
even without Rob.

So sweet.

-[Kim] Chyna…
-Chyna, she's opening your gift.

-Oh, me?
-[MJ] Oh, my gosh.

Stop it, you guys, but keep it coming.
[laughs]

-[MJ] So cute.
-Do you like it?

-I love it.
-[Khloé] Ooh!

Look how cute.

-Thank you, darling.
-[Chyna] You're welcome. Happy birthday.

-From me and Rob.
-[MJ] Yeah.

From both of you. Thank you so much.

And baby. Look, I have to show you this.

So this is the front face of the baby.

-It's like the…
-So cute.

-Beautiful.
-[Chyna] Uh-huh.

Make me gonna cry.

[Kris] I'm disappointed that Rob
wasn't able to come down,

but nevertheless,

my mom has had the best, best birthday

and that makes me so happy.

And almost all the rest
of the family is here, so…

I think we did a really good job.

[all cheering]

[Khloé] Make a wish.

[laughter and cheers]

Take a picture of the cake.

[Kris] Happy birthday, Mom. We love you.

[upbeat music]

[Khloé shrieks]

Wow, you look nice. So dapper!

What the hell is this?

What do you think this royal crest means?

Whoa, I don't know,

but it looks like my last name
and I'm loving it.

-[Kim] You are now…
-[Khloé] The Duke!

-The Duke.
-Duke Disick.

What?

Scott is out of control,
so Kim and I are thinking,

let's make this a fun thing.

What's higher than a lord? A duke.

[Khloé] Let's get Lord a duke title.

He can be the Lord and the Duke,

but at least maybe the Duke
has, like, a clean slate.

And he could be…

whatever persona he wants to be
as the Duke.

I don't think I want to be
referred to as the Dooken.

[laughs] As the Dookie.

[Scott] Right.

-Except she was like…
-…a Dookie.

[laughter]

Are you okay?

What about the Double Ds? The Double Ds.

Scott, you got some Double Ds.
[laughs]

How, how are you, Duke Disick?

Double [bleeps].
[laughs]

Right. What does this really mean?
Is there something more to this?

[Khloé] It's like us saying
we miss the Lord,

that doesn't mean we need you to be, like,

like, big ballin'
and, like, trying to buy planes.

We just want you to, just be fun.

I'm not gonna lie,
I'm definitely the type of guy

that covers some of my problems
with materialistic items.

And I'm pretty sure
when the family came to me

and said they wanted more of the Lord,

they really just kind of more so
wanted to get me out of, like,

the little funk that I was in.

Yeah, I definitely appreciate
that they notice and care.

I can't ask much more than that.

[Scott] I realize I don't have
to go that far

with the whole Lord thing,
and I can calm down

-and just be myself.
-Just a… just a dookie.

There's nothing wrong
with a good ol' clean dook.

-[Khloé] No.
-[laughter]

[upbeat music]

Oh, I can't stand looking like this.

I need my hair up or something.

There's just, like, no makeup…

[laughs] …in Nantucket.

First of all, [bleeps] Nantucket.

You're talking, looking like this?

But I'm not complaining about it.

Yeah.

Anyway, Kathy called me last night
looking for Rob, and so did the twins.

And I said, "Oh, he hasn't been around,

I haven't seen him."

We can't, like, act like
what he's doing isn't wrong.

If this was any man that we were with,
we would be pissed. How dare…

I don't even know what he's doing.

He hasn't spoken to her in days.

-[Kourtney] Why?
-How dare you leave a preg--

I don't give a [bleeps].

You still need to check on her.
Would you be happy with Kanye

if he disappeared for five days
and never reached out to you?

-[Kim] No, I'd die.
-Right.

I don't care if it's our brother,
facts are facts.

It's crazy how he's acting.

-[Kim] Totally.
-That's so [bleeps] up.

[Khloé] Rob is going to be a dad,
and he has a family

to answer to, so I feel like
now, more than ever,

Rob can't handle things
the way he once did.

He has to deal with his problems.

He can't just run away and ignore them.

[upbeat music]

[Kim] Do you love
how Mommy did your braids?

-[North babbles]
-[Kim] I love your braids.

Do you love your braids Mama did?

Okay, let's go to KoKo's room
and say "Let's go, guys."

[North] Let's go.

I couldn't make it down
for MJ's birthday dinner,

but I wanted to make sure
that I could make it down

for the races to at least
see her for a little bit.

And it's just nice to have a fun
day out like this.

It's kind of like dressing up,

and I love horses and being around them,

so yeah, it's cool.

-[Kendall] You did?
-Yeah.

[Kim] I worked so hard
on these braids, and it's,

like, such a fun experience
in the morning with North and I,

like, just getting her ready
and getting her hair done.

I'm just excited for everyone to see them.

I went to a hair tutorial place.

Kim Kimble, she taught me
how to make braids.

I mean, I think anything
with parenting just takes time.

You're not gonna know
how to do everything overnight.

All you can really do is try your best

and just keep on learning
and keep on practicing,

and that's really all you can hope for.

-[Kendall] All right, should we go?
-Uh, let's go outside!

-[babbles]
-[Khloé] Let's go outside.

[upbeat music]

MJ! Hi.

[MJ] I was saying,
"That girl looks like Kendall."

-[smooches]
-[Kendall] How are you?

-Happy birthday.
-I was surprised.

I'm so glad to see you.

[Kendall] I'm so happy to see you.

Oh, my God, you look amazing.

Oh, my God. It's the Duke.

-[Scott] How the hell are you?
-The Duke.

Oh, my goodness, Dookie.

I haven't rocked anything
like this in a long time.

I'm throwing Duke way out of the water.

-[Khloé] Okay.
-[Scott] I'm not a duke.

I'll stay the Lord.

I want to say,
from the deepest bottom of my heart,

thank you for bringing the Lord back.
It feels so good.

[Scott] You know, I'm happy
that everybody supports the Lord.

Because I've always been the Lord,

and the Lord is here to stay.
And that's it.

[Khloé] Scott, do you want to bet?

[Scott] I like the first one.

Put some money on number one for me.

[bugle playing]

[commentator]
Luminance to the inside gate.

[Kim] Okay, I think it's gonna
start soon, bub.

[upbeat music]

[Khloé] Who's winning?

I have no idea.

[Kendall shouting]

-Who are you yelling for?
-[Kendall] One and two.

Those are ours.

Number one won. We won.

Looks like somebody's
buying themselves an aircraft.

-[Khloé] Mom, this is so fun.
-Do you like it?

[Khloé] Scott and I won.

[Kourtney] I didn't win.

-Aw, man.
-[Scott] All right.

I want to collect.

[Scott] Collection.

-We won.
-I'm going home ahead.

We won.

[Scott] Wow.

It was a good luck item
to come back as the Lord today.

[Khloé] See?

[upbeat music]

[Rob] What the [bleeps]
is wrong with your door?

Buenos días.

Hey, Rob.

Ooh, you're back and in full effect.

[chuckles]

Why didn't you go to San Diego?

[tense music]

[Khloé] Of course,
now that we're back in LA,

Rob conveniently is found
and answers his phone

and unblocks all of us all of a sudden.

It's ridiculous that he keeps doing

this disappearing act.

Rob, why did you disappear?

I just didn't want to hear from everyone
about anything regarding anything,

so I choose to block everybody
and that's it.

[Khloé] Why didn't you go to San Diego?

'Cause I went to Vegas instead.

So that's more important than
your grandmother's 82nd birthday?

No, I just didn't feel like going because,
um, me and Chyna just got in

a little, a little disagreement.
That was it.

So I was just like,
"I'm just gonna leave."

She just gave me a reason
to not want to go with her to San Diego.

I was just like, "All right, my boys
are going to Vegas. Road trip. I'm good."

So you really went to Vegas?

-He really did.
-[Rob] Yeah.

I just feel like you need
to communicate more and tell us,

like, when you're going through something

so we can help you.
Like, if you don't want to go

to San Diego, that's fine,
but maybe, like, tell us.

[Kim] Yeah, just be like,
"Everyone off my back."

[Rob] Obviously I get it.

Communication, sending a text message.

But with you guys, if I said,

"Oh, I'm gonna take a couple days off,"

then everyone would freak out,
think something's wrong.

"What's wrong with Rob?"
Show up in my bedroom.

Like, you guys are just…
it just gets very dramatic.

[tense music]

If Rob feels that we are really
dramatic and judgmental,

I feel like we all have
to take heed to that.

What's done is done,
and I'm just happy that Rob

is now able to talk to us about things.

I really hope though that we each
learn something from this.

I hope Rob knows that
he doesn't have to just block

every family member that exists.

Okay, so how are you and Chyna now, good?

-Yeah, we're all good.
-[Khloé] But you guys keep going

like, I feel like you guys
have high highs and low lows.

How can we, like, keep it, like, even?

[Kim] You guys just can't push
each other's buttons.

No, I push her buttons all the time.

She pushes mine all the time. You know?

[Kim] Do you think life
is better with four kids or two?

[Khloé] Life is better with me.

-Really?
-No kids.

I just think, for me, four or six.

-[Kim] You?
-[Khloé and Rob laughing]

[Kourtney] Oh, Khloé's whole ass was out.

-[chuckles]
-[Khloé] My ass was out?

-Your whole entire ass.
-I'm wearing Spanx,

-but he pulled up my shirt.
-[Kourtney] Oh.

[Khloé] I have a good ass,
so you guys are fine.

[Kim] Coming up next week…

[Scott] I didn't know
water aerobics was so sexual.

I just don't know if it's
the most appropriate thing

spending time with women that are, like,


Like, since when were you
interested in water aerobics?

[Kim] Yeah, that's a little odd.

[Kendall] The sleep paralysis
is, like, really getting to me.

Nothing can move.

You have a week in Paris,
Milan, and then London.

-I can't travel that much.
-Well, you're already booked.

I'm, like, scared. I'm freaking out.