13x11 - Classic Cars and Vintage Eggs

[bunniefuu]

You are so sensitive.

I'm so over all you people.
I don't care if I'm sensitive.

Shut the [bleep] up.

[Khloe] I go on these trips
hoping we're gonna bond,

and the older we get,
it's just not working out.

So what do we come here for?

That's crazy, the police just came.

Rob and Chyna got into a big fight.

You had a baby with me.
I would expect you to love me.

Chyna and I go at it,
but then the next day, it's all good.

I don't want on-and-off arguments.
I want us to come together.

[upbeat electronic music]

-[Danielle] Danielle. I'll be teaching.
-How are you?

-This is Penelope.
-Hi, Penelope.

-You're Jewish?
-I am Jewish. [she laughs]

-Happy almost New Year.
-[Danielle] I know!

Shall we?

-[Danielle] Okay, ready?
-[Scott] Yes, P. Careful, it's slippery.

-[Danielle] You're good at this.
-[Scott] Yeah, Poosh!

-P, you want me to come out?
-Yeah.

-[Danielle] Okay, you ready? Here we go.
-[upbeat dance music]

-[Danielle] Wiggle, wiggle.
-Oh! Work it, Poosh!

-[Danielle] Make that skirt move.
-I couldn't do that.

Your arms are gonna help you.

[Scott] Yeah, P!

[they laugh]

-Oh!
-Oh, yeah!

[Danielle] Awesome!

I won't tolerate you
not being in the Olympics.

You've got to start training.
Pounding the ice.

-And flipping.
-You're gonna do a flip?

Caitlyn thought she'd be
the only Olympic person in this family.

[upbeat, funky music plays]

♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh! ♪

[Kim] Starving.
Maybe I'll get a veggie burger.

-Hi.
-It's super cute. Hi.

-Oh, hi, everybody.
-Hi, Mom. Are you sure?

-Are you going to talk to me? Shocking.
-[Kim] Hello.

Don't you feel part
of the three musketeers is missing

without your sister here?

-[Kim] Yeah.
-Little miss Khloe bunny.

She's in Cleveland. Khloe in Cleveland.

I'm starting to really miss her

when I realize she won't be
at, like, lunch today.

It is kind of crazy far she is
and just how she's so not in the mix.

I felt so bad she was feeling
so left out in Costa Rica.

That it would be so cute
if we all went to Palm Springs,

'cause that's
such a place of our childhood.

I haven't been to Palm Springs in forever.

We could go next week,
'cause Khloe's in town.

-[Kris] And do a sisters' weekend?
-Yeah, or even just the night.

Drive down there. Doesn't have to be long.

I just feel like
we do have to make the time.

-Yeah.
-[Penelope] I'm coming.

Let's just make this trip,
like, so special for Khloe.

Let's not bring kids.
Let's make it about us.

-I think that'll be so much fun.
-[Penelope] No!

I love you, P.
I love this freckle you have.

It's like a beauty mark.

[upbeat music plays]

[bird song]

Kris, this was just delivered
via messenger for you.

-I wanted to make sure you got it.
-Thank you, Matt.

Oh, it's from a law office.
That's never good.

Wait. What is this?

"Your impressive track record

in producing
successful and outstanding offspring

has attracted
my client's interest in your genetics."

Ooh.

"The client and the wife
have tried unsuccessfully

to have their own children and request
to speak with you about egg donation."

-Somebody wants one of my eggs.
-You should go for it, seriously.

Do you know how old my egg would be?

It's definitely a compliment
that somebody wants to purchase your egg,

but she's 61.

I don't think she has any eggs.

That is absolutely ridiculous.

[Kris] "He and his wife believe
an offspring with your DNA

will fit seamlessly
into their royal lineage."

-It must be a joke.
-[Kim] Who'd think that's normal?

But here's a contract.

Mom, no one would send that
without having a conversation.

"Psychological and physical evaluations."

They want me to have an evaluation?

-I'm [bleep] normal.
-[Kim] Is this even real?

I do kind of have amazing DNA.

-And make amazing children.
-That you are right.

It has been almost 20 years
since I've had a baby.

The idea is crazy,
but if it isn't a prank,

I find it very flattering.

[Kourtney] Is this real?
Do you even have eggs?

There's a couple of dozen right in there.

Ha-ha.

[upbeat dance music plays]

[Kourtney] Hola.

-No one cares that I'm here.
-[low chatter in background]

-[shouts] No one cares that I'm here?!
-Hola.

Oh! Look at you in your hoodie.
Good American. See!

-Okay, so, I'm a girl with a mission.
-[Khloe] What?

-A dog with a blog.
-[Khloe laughs]

I need one night
and one and a half days of your time.

-For what?
-To go to Palm Springs.

When did you last go?

Kendall said it's, like,
her favorite place.

I just don't know
if I could handle it right now.

-Khloe, it's one night.
-[Khloe] And two days.

No. A day and a half.

I'm only here a few days, and I have
so many things to do. I'm never here.

[Kim] We feel so bad about Costa Rica.

We want to make it up to you
and have a fun little...

I just don't know if I,
like, could handle my soul

being on another family trip
that I'm ignored on.

It's not a family trip.

-It's you, you and you.
- With your energy, I totally wanna go[!]

To Palm Springs with you!

-Khloe, "Kumbaya, My Lord."
-[Khloe] Yeah.

You can't handle going for one night
with your two favorite sisters?

You're just a little emotionally unstable,
I feel, at this very moment.

You're yelling at me: "You don't
wanna go with your two favorite..."

-I'm very calm.
-[Khloe] Okay.

Like, what would we even
be doing in Palm Springs?

-Well...
-We can go to the outlets.

-[Kourtney] We could go to the outlets.
-[Kim] That's fun.

-We could go find Nana's house.
-[Kim] See Nana and Papa's house.

Just, like, Palm Springs vibe it out.

I think it's super sweet of Kourtney
and Kim to want to go to Palm Springs.

But to be honest, after Costa Rica,
I need, like, a weekend to myself.

But I'll be a good sport
and go to Palm Springs with them.

Fun.

[upbeat dance music plays]

I think I'm gonna have
to have hip surgery, by the way.

-Why?
-I think I need a hip replacement.

-Seriously?
-[Kris] Yes.

-That's, like, some old lady [bleep].
-Okay, well...

-[Kourtney] My hip hurts.
-[all] Ohh!

-[Kim] Come this way.
-Look who's here.

Hi, cutie.

-[Kris] Hi, Rob.
-Hey, Rob.

Hello!

-[Rob] Hey, P.
-[Kim] She is so cute, Rob.

North woke the other night,
and I had just gotten a spray tan

and she fell asleep on top of me.

I woke up with her-- She'd peed on me.
I couldn't wash the pee off.

Then the whole spray tan would come off.

I had to sleep with pee and spray tan.

[Kris] How's Rob doing?

-[Kim] How are you?
-[Rob] fine.

-[Kourtney] And things with Chyna?
-Where are you at?

I've been pretty...
I've been pretty upset.

I want Chyna and I to stay together
and just not be so down all the time.

What is respect to you?

Getting my back. It's not
easy going to the gym every day.

Or doing what you think I need to do.

-Rob is not trying.
-[Mike] Now the-- Okay.

-He's getting upset.
-[Chyna] I'm not shutting feelings down.

I'm just talking to you.

There's literally no place
for that negative energy in my life.

I'm confused. It's just, like...

You plan to do something with a woman:

to have a family, and right now,
we're just each pushing each other away.

I'm, like, what's the real problem?

-Some people are just capable...
-[Rob] She's wired differently than me.

Some people aren't.

Mom, you have no idea
about anything. You...

-Okay.
-[Rob] You say just what you think.

I don't give up
just that easy on somebody.

We do have a baby,
and my goal is to have a family.

For that family be together
That's what I want.

[Kourtney] I respect you for that.
That's what makes you a good person.

[Kris] Rob has
the most amazing family values.

And I really admire his devotion
to his baby and to the family

that he wishes he had,
so my heart goes out to him.

If there wasn't a baby,
if we didn't have Dream,

I wouldn't even be even trying anything.

-[Kris] Yeah.
-[Rob] Trust me.

[Kourtney] You ready to hit the road?

We really have tried
to make this trip paparazzi-free.

We've left the house
in these unmarked cars,

and we've really taken measures
to get out and just have a fun day.

It's good to have alone sister time
without any distractions.

It's just us.

Kourtney, you might be
the worst driver I've ever met.

Kourtney is a horrible driver.

I'm gonna throw up on you.

Well, making 100 U-turns and stuff...

-Horrible.
-Horrible. She makes you carsick.

-Yeah.
-'Cause she's so jerky with the car.

The fact that she thinks
she's actually good blows my mind.

Why do you stop so fast?

-I think you're a good driver.
-I know I'm a good driver.

Yeah, you got us out
of that Montana situation.

-Whoa, we're sliding. Khloe! Khloe!
-It's not my fault, not my fault!

-Oh, my God!
-I don't have my seat belt on!

Holy [bleep]! Holy [bleep]!

And I'll never forget it.
Forever indebted.

[Khloe laughs] Yeah.

[dance music plays]

Has anybody ever
stopped at the dinosaurs before?

-[Khloe and Kim] I haven't.
-[Kourtney] Me, neither.

I feel every time
we would drive, we would say,

"One time,
we got to stop at the dinosaurs."

[Kim] We definitely did.

Every year, when we drove to Palm Springs,
we would always pass the dinosaurs

on the side of the freeway,
and we were never allowed to stop.

[Kris] I see the dinos.
There's the dinos. See the dinosaurs?

[Robert] Yeah.

We finally are going to see the dinosaurs!

-For the first time ever.
-Yes, in our whole lives.

[Kourtney] Remember
Pee-wee does the dishes?

-[Khloe] Yeah.
-[Kourtney] And Large Marge?

[Kim] The dinosaurs are
from the Pee-wee movie.

Kourtney and I used to do
the Large Marge monologue all the time.

[Kourtney] Okay, she's Pee-wee,
okay, and I'm Large Marge.

[Kim] 100 years ago...

[Kourtney] There was
the biggest accident I've ever seen.

[Kim] It looked like the...

[both making silly noises]

[Kourtney] Which shall
we take a photo in front of?

[Khloe] I want to get the whole thing. Oh.

-[Khloe] Kim, it's soft!
-[Kim] It is?

-[Khloe] It's squishy.
-[Kim] I want one for the backyard.

[Kourtney] "Mr. Rex's Dinosaur Adventure."

"If there was ever a California
roadside attraction, this is it."

-I need a photo like this. One...
-[all] Two, three.

[Kourtney] We're such geeks. I love it.

[Rob] I think it'd be
a good idea if I redid

every single one of these magazines
and did the same exact sh**t,

just with me in it, and did everyone.

Not just Photoshop my face,
but actually do it.

You're crazy.

Remember I told you I met
that artist in Cannes named Abdullah?

Yeah, totally, Mom.

Anyway, he came by here
to drop off some more art

when he was here from Dubai
and he brought his life coach with him

and his name is Jamel.

Would you meet somebody like that?

I just don't need, like,
a babysitter, that's all.

I'd love you to meet him.
Everything happens...

[both] For a reason.

-I do.
-[Rob] I agree.

[Kris] Isn't it strange
that the person I met in Cannes

is suddenly in my living room,
and he brought this guy?

I thought this would be
such a great match for Rob.

I mean, I'm always open to new things.

-You are?
-Well, maybe not in the past, but now.

I definitely need
to change how I do things.

it obviously hasn't been working.

I'm so happy that Rob
is into meeting Jamel,

because he might be a wonderful person

in Rob's life to be
an inspiration and a light

and somebody Rob could talk to.

Well, I'm proud of you, Rob,
and I'm really, really happy

that you are willing to meet him
and try something new.

-Makes me happy, too.
-We're both happy.

-I'm so happy.
-Happy.

When we go shopping,
we don't want to go to random stores.

Wouldn't you guys
rather go to a furniture store?

-Or, like, a vintage clothing store?
-Yeah.

-I don't care to shop at all.
-But I'm saying, like, vintage.

-[Khloe] This is the Parker.
-This is cute.

[Khloe] So vintage. "Vin-taj."

-[Kourtney] Yeah, this hotel's good.
-[man] Welcome to The Parker.

[Khloe] I feel
we should be Mom with a martini.

[Kim] Oh, look at this. Khlo.

[Khloe chuckles] Oh, that's casual.

Is that a banana in your pocket,
or are you just happy to see me?

Six-foot banana.

Kourtney...

No. Pull it out like a normal person.

Kourtney, really?

Kourtney concerns me in life.
You have three kids. There you go.

Oh, Lord.

-[Khloe] This is definitely modern.
-[Kourtney] I love it.

[Kim] This is the African room.

I'm staying in the other room.
Kim doesn't want to sleep alone.

I sleep with people every night.
I'm happy to sleep alone.

Sleep alone.
Kim and I will sleep together.

[Kourtney] You don't have
to convince me twice.

[Khloe] Okay, can you guys
tell me this stupid plan?

-You want to go shopping?
-[Kourtney] We are gonna change right now.

And do what?
Drive around to a vintage store?

Mm-hmm. We're gonna just hit the road.

Adventure time. Mario time.

Yay! love vintage shopping

and smelling old clothes.

I'm not really a changer,
but I'll change for you.

If anyone wants to know
what I'm wearing right now, it's this.

All right?

-[Khloe] That's what you're wearing, Nana?
-[Kourtney] Yes.

Whoa.

[upbeat, electronic music plays]

-[Kris] Hi!
-[Jamel] How are you?

-[Kris] Good. You?
-Good to see you again.

-[Kris] You, too.
-Excellent.

Thanks for coming. Rob, this is Jamel.

-[Rob] Oh, my God.
-What's up, bud?

-Jamel, this is my son Rob.
-How are you, my friend? Jamel.

-Pleasure to meet you.
-[Rob] You, too.

I want Jamel
to tell you a bit about what he does.

I'm not one to talk about myself too much.

I've been a life coach for 20 years.

I'll end up being one of your homies
that will play ball with you,

exercise with you,
go eat with you, then listen to you.

And I'll be one of your friends

who will give you functional feedback
that would actually work.

-[Rob] I'm down with it.
-What things will you want to discuss?

Some of the challenges
you're presented with now?

Um, I just feel like
I've been kind of stuck

and not really motivated,
because things going on in my life,

my relationship.

I don't want that
to, like, derail me and--

'Cause I'm very overweight
compared to what I'm used to.

I haven't been able to break the cycle.

My favorite saying is you
become the author of your life.

If you don't like the way it's going,
stop and take reconsideration.

You write it differently.

It can sometimes be uncomfortable
to meet somebody new.

But Rob seems relaxed
and he can maybe be receptive

to what Jamel has to say.

I think that this is just the next step
in the whole healing process.

My skill set has always been listening.

Today, I have on this tight jacket.

Normally I'm chill like you, but
but of respect for your mom, I had to...

-My mom's a blazer person, too.
-Got to love a good blazer.

-You got to.
-[Jamel] That's really it.

I think I'm down to meet and talk.

I like to break bread
over a game of Madden.

-[chuckles] Okay.
-[Jamel] Are you good at it?

-[Rob] Very good. Top 400 in the world.
-[Kris laughs]

-[Jamel] Now you're throwing numbers?
-[Kris] This could be a bromance. Perfect.

[Jamel laughs]

[Khloe] Can I take a picture
of both your asses?

[Kourtney] Mine especially in these.

[Khloe] So you can see
what we're working with.

-[Kourtney laughs]
-Pancake and a double-double.

Kourtney has a good ass,
but these shorts make her look like Nana.

-[Kourtney] Should I go like this?
-[Khloe] Yeah.

-It makes you look like Nana.
-[Kourtney] How's that?

[Khloe] Way better. You have a good ass.

[Kourtney] Khloe, I know.
That's why I'm not concerned.

[Khloe] Oh, this is such a pretty car!

Our grandparents used
to drive us around in Cadillacs,

so I thought it was fun
to rent us a Chevy Bel Air.

-Damn...
-Damn, Gina.

Never heard of it,
but thought it was cute.

-We're all sitting in here?
-You're in heels. Shall Khloe drive?

-Kourt, can you drive this?
-I drive the Thunderbird.

Are you a bit nervous?

-How do I put it into drive though?
-[Khloe] Oh, my God.

-Oh, yeah, I see it.
-[Khloe] That's the gear.

Oh, [bleep].

-Did we sign a waiver?
-[Kourtney] Does this have seatbelts?

[bleep] no!
It doesn't even have a right mirror.

-[Khloe] Kourtney...
-[Kourtney] Seriously. You can't stop it.

It takes five minutes to stop.

-Kourtney's working her arms.
-[they laugh]

[Kourtney] Ooh, whew!
Guys, it's like a boat.

He was like, "Are you doing
anything for their birthday?"

-I was like, "They're going out of town."
-Get off the phone!

-Oh, my God.
-[camera shutter clicks]

[Kourtney] I feel like this is all
near the car dealerships, on the left.

[Kim] Yeah, it's so wild.

Ooh. [engine clanking]

-What?
-Oh, [bleep].

-The car d*ed. It says the oil.
-The car broke down.

-Wait, wait, wait.
-Our car just broke down. I'll call back.

-[horn honks]
-Oh, shut up, you [bleep] loser!

-The car just broke down.
-[engine sputtering]

-[engine revs]
-[Khloe] Okay, you moron!

Stop holding the ignition like that.
You're gonna flood it.

-Put your [bleep] hazards on.
-Spring break.

-[they laugh]
-Spring break, 2017.

-It says "oil."
-[Khloe] Put it in park. Oh, my God.

-[horn honks]
-It won't go in park!

-You [bleep].
-Oh, my gosh.

-It won't go in park.
-Okay, what are we gonna do?

You can't put it... Push the ga...

-Shall I push the car?
-You gotta pump it.

-What do you want us to do?
-[Khloe screams, laughs]

-[Khloe] Put it in neutral!
-[Kourtney] It is!

[Kim] I see all this oil leaking.
I think something's wrong.

-[Khloe] Put it in neutral, you moron.
-It is!

-[Khloe] Put it in neutral! [laughs]
-[Kourtney] It is!

[Kim] Okay!

I'm afraid that now if people will see us

they'll take pics,
and then the paparazzi will know

we're in Palm Springs
and they're all gonna come here.

Like, our private time is gonna be ruined.

[Khloe] Ooh!

[horns honking]

-[Khloe] Oh, shut up! Argh!
-[they laugh]

[horns honking]

[Khloe] Oh, shut up! Argh!

We get this super gorgeous
throwback car, and it breaks down...

[Khloe] Ooh!

...on, like, the busiest street
in Palm Springs.

[horn honks]

-Appreciate it!
-Okay, stop, stop.

[Khloe] You weren't
doing anything. It was all me.

It's a highway. Don't know what street.

-Turn the car off.
-Khloe, I know how to drive these cars!

-[Khloe] You don't know!
-More than you do!

[horn honks]

It's mortifying.
Everyone's honking. It's just horrible.

[engine sputtering]

You have to run the gas
and not flood the engine.

-Let's give it a whirl.
-It said "oil."

There's no seatbelts.
I don't know if I feel safe.

[Khloe] You're fine.

Kourtney, you're gonna hit the van!

No, you're not.
Let's go. This guy's waiting for you.

-[bleep].
-They'll get in front of you!

-[laughter]
-[horn honking]

-Welcome to good old Palm Springs.
-Palm Springs!

[Faye] Kris? Hi there.
-[Kris] Look at you! Hi, honey!

-Let's go sit over here.
-[Faye] It looks great in here.

-Are you so happy with it?
-[Kris] Yes.

Do you realize you and I have
had the same hairstyle for 30 years?

Uh, yeah.

No, but you did get edgier,
which was cool. I mean, back in the '80s.

-Had my little bangs and my bowl cut.
-[Faye] It was so cool.

I literally left a client
in mid-sentence, by the way,

because you said to come over,
you had something fun.

-You are going to die. To die.
-Why?

I got a letter from
what appeared to be a royal family.

And I didn't really believe it at first.

And so I had these people
checked out, and they're for real.

Basically, the letter
is requesting the ability

to purchase one of my eggs.

-[Faye] Okay, now, that's weird.
-[Kris laughs]

You must get the craziest requests.

-This one tops everything.
-It's quite a compliment.

In particular, somebody
wants to buy my DNA, basically.

-[Faye] I love this.
-Isn't this wild?

"He and his wife believe
an offspring with your DNA

will fit seamlessly
into their royal lineage."

-Okay, this is crazy.
-Royal lineage!

That is the wildest thing.

Didn't Kim freeze some eggs? [laughs]

Just kidding.

[Kris] What?

-She would never do that.
-[Faye] No, she wouldn't.

And I know you wouldn't either.
But it's funny.

Well, don't count me out yet.

Janet Jackson just had a baby.

If she's mid-50s,
that's like a six-year age gap.

-That's not inconceivable.
-So are you gonna respond to them?

-What are you gonna say?
-I think I'm gonna see if I can...

-Feel it out.
-Yeah.

You're just such a curious kitty.
You have to go down that road.

Imagine if I had a child
that grew up in a castle in Europe

and that was royalty?

We could design a crest.
-[both laughing]

[rhythmic dance electronic music plays]

[Kim] This is cool. Vintage glasses.
You should try some.

Those would be cute on you.

[Khloe] The monkey is holding the lights.

Oh, my God, they're so creepy
and cute at the same time.

It's, like, hanging from the ceiling.

Does anyone think
this monkey's so cute? It's so cute.

They really walked away.

Okay. I'll just keep talking to myself.

My sisters walk away from me
when I'm talking, 24/7.

-Do you think I should get this thing?
-[Kourtney] Yeah.

[Khloe] Nobody seems to care.
Just like, "Okay."

I don't know
if that means I talk too much.

Or I'm not talking about the right things.
I'm trying to figure that out.

Me and Cornelius will hang out.

Cornelius?

[in sing-songy voice] Cornelius? Corn?

[Khloe] Cornelius
is my brother's imaginary friend.

-Cornelius?
-[phone ringing]

-[Rob on phone] Hello?
-Rob, in Palm Springs.

Cornelius came by.

-[Rob] Really?
-[Khloe] Yeah. Isn't that crazy?

[Rob] That's so interesting.

Cornelius, should we buy this for Rob?

It's 695.

Do you want to buy Rob that painting?
You know him better than I do.

How often do you see Corn?

[Rob] I don't see him as much anymore.
I'm not real comfortable talking to him.

[Khloe] He was helping me
with stuff for your birthday.

[Rob] I know, but his wife d*ed.

[Khloe] What?

Cornelius, why didn't you tell
me your wife [bleep] d*ed?

Oh.

Guess what? Cornelius is with me.

I don't need you guys.

[rhythmic dance music plays]

-[Gunnar] Now pop up. He is on fire.
-[Jamel] It's good to see you. He is.

-What's good?
-[Jamel] How are you, bro? In the zone?

[Rob] Just doing a warm-up.

I feel good about your workout.
And that I get to watch it.

-[Rob laughs]
-[Jamel] Yep.

-I feel good, too.
-Are you gonna say:

"Mel, it seems your strategy is working?"

-[chuckles] We'll wait it out.
-[Jamel] Fair enough.

I trust the process.

That's a profound statement
you said: "I trust the process."

-[Rob] Yeah.
-I don't know if you know what you said.

-That's pretty dope right there, bro.
-Of course. Trust the process.

I know my mom wants
to encourage me just to be happy

and in a good place and taking charge
of your life means being productive.

One day, you'll be a champ.
You'll be good one day, kid.

[Rob] Still a lot of work, but I'm
at least in a way better headspace.

I'm getting to a place
where I feel good about myself.

I'm just excited
to turn over this new leaf.

It means a lot to me.

[Jamel] You got that done with ease.

-There's no place I'd rather be.
-[Jamel chuckles]

[dance music plays]

[Khloe] My favorite part
of any day: coming home.

-[Kourtney] Are we putting on pajamas?
-[Khloe] Pajamas!

-Keeks.
-[Kim] Yeah?

[Khloe] Why are you falling asleep?
I thought we were gonna hang out together.

[Kim] That's what people do
in Palm Springs. Go to bed early.

You don't want to hang out?

[Kim] I mean, I'm hanging out right here.

I think in my sisters' old age,
they need a reminder in how to have fun.

Obviously, Khlo Money
has to bring the party.

I do have a reputation to uphold.

-Have you guys played Heads Up!
-[Kim] No.

[Khloe] Get ready, Kim.

-[game beeps]
-[Kourtney] All right.

-[game beeps]
-You just sit still.

Oh, he's a brother...

The three brothers
who took the chastity rings.

-He went on his own.
-Jonas Brothers.

-Yes, what's one of...
-No, no.

[Kim] Nick. Joe.

[Kourtney] You went on a date with him.

Married to Jessica Simpson!

-[Kim] Nick Lachey.
-[Kourtney] Yeah.

This isn't really the most
turnt up type of thing, but, you know...

Shall we drink champagne and dance?

Yes!

I'll take what I can get.

Okay, I'll ruin your bed.

[Khloe laughs] Yeah.

-[Kim] Oh, my God! [bleep].
-[Kourtney] Are you okay?

[Kim] Yeah.

Okay, one, two, three.

[laughter]

You look like a freak.

This is fun and quality time.

[laughter]

Kim and Kourt, I think the thing
that I want you two to always remember

is, yeah, we're sisters,
but I choose to be,

like, best friends with you guys.

I think we have
the best relationship in the world,

and I just want to keep that going.

And sometimes I get sad
when I see us having our own lives,

'cause it just makes me realize
we're growing up.

But I'm thankful
of every minute we have together.

I just never want that to end.
And I love you guys.

I feel like we just had sex. [laughs]

-[baby gurgling]
-[Jamel] How many kids would you like?

My mom handled five.

-Six.
-Five.

-Six.
-Six.

-[Jamel laughs]
-[Rob] Six.

-Who were just missing?
-I have no idea.

I want her to get used to me.
I don't see her every single day.

So... [kisses]

-[Dream grizzles]
-She's gonna feed you. Sorry.

It's my only child, my first child,
so I want to see her every day.

I want to interact with her
and just have her recognize me.

That was my plan. And I even told Chyna:

"I won't make your life difficult.
I won't be like:

"I need the babies on this day.'"
I'm going with the flow.

Whatever she wants, I'm agreeing with her.

That's the part right there,
I want to kind of work with a bit.

That's not what she wants.

You're saying is, "Chyna, whatever
you want is okay, because I want peace."

She doesn't hear that. She hears:
"Rob doesn't know what he wants.

He's not choosing a day.
I wish he would make a decision."

I want to encourage you to have voice.

I want you to have the same
commanding presence your dad had.

I know it's in you.

This is the time to start
to erect Rob's voice

and take charge of Rob's life.

[upbeat music plays]

[Jamel] You built your foundation
on attraction and sex.

-[Rob] Yeah.
-[Jamel] Pathway to Paradise.

Now, when the lust
started to simmer down a little

and this miraculous child came,
you was like, "Crap, what do we do now?"

Let me ask you:
How did you get there before?

We're gonna call it "Pathway to Paradise."

-[Rob] It just happened every day.
-Nothing just happens.

[Rob] We were happy in the house.

We were chilling with her family,
just her cooking for me.

-Okay.
-[Rob] Random movies or just talks.

-Listening to music, talking.
-[Jamel] Intimate time?

Okay.

My question would be:

If this was the Pathway to Paradise,

do you see this happening at all now?

-[Rob] Oh, no.
-None of it.

-[Rob] None of that.
-[Jamel] Got it.

If this is the vehicle you used
on this path to paradise

and this vehicle has broken down,
it's abandoned on the side of the road.

Your job is to figure out
how to repair this vehicle.

But you're still in the car,
trying to start the engine, put gas in it.

Now you're walking
to the Pathway to Paradise.

You know what happens
when you aimlessly wander in a desert?

You become delusional, Rob.

So thinking that Chyna's
gonna show up on your birthday

with lingerie underneath, with all
these things not being in the equation

sounds like you're dehydrated to me
and becoming a little delusional.

-You know the slang for dehydration is?
-I'm hydrated.

[Jamel] Thirsty.

We're trying to figure out
what's real and what's not.

Whenever you get through that,
you can see more clearly.

Is this supposed to be your wife?
The person you spend your life with?

Then you'll be able to decide
without having any regrets,

because it'll be very clear,
for not just you, but for her as well.

Obviously, I love
my family being all together.

But I really don't know what to do.

I've been working on trying to save my
relationship with Chyna for a long time.

But, at this point, it's too much.

[Jamel] That's life.

[Kourtney] Don't leave without me.

We're gonna give
this old-school car one more sh*t.

to go to Nana and Papa's house.

I'm hoping as Kourtney isn't driving,

maybe it's not gonna break down this time.

There's no mirror? Nope.
No mirrors anywhere in here.

'Cause they weren't as vain then.

Kimberly, that's my rear-view mirror.

[all whooping]

[laughter]

[in sing-songy voice]
We're almost here, guys!

Seriously, like, for us
to come all this way and just, like,

hope that someone answers
the door and actually lets us in?

This is so cute, guys. This is
a good vibe. This is a good, nice life.

-How do you not know...?
-Remember we rode our bikes there...?

To Mrs. Goggins with the cuckoo clock.

-[Khloe] It's right here.
-[Kim] Yes.

-[Khloe] This is it.
-I need pic.

-This is so cute.
-[Kim] Yeah, we've got to take a pic.

-Kourtney would love it...
-I'll bring my real camera.

That'll be even cooler.

-[Khloe] Hello.
-[Andrea] Hello! How are you?

-[Khloe] Good.
-Long time no see! You look fabulous.

-[Khloe] I do? Thanks.
-[Andrea] Yes! You look so great!

[Kourtney] Hi. Hi.

-[Andrea] Hi. How are you guys?
-[Kourtney] Good. How are you?

-I need a picture of the snapdragons.
-[Andrea laughs]

[Andrea] Yup, the famous snapdragons.

So are we just knocking on the door?

Kim, you knock on the door.
No one could say no to you.

-[Kim] Okay.
-[Kourtney] Do we ask for a grapefruit?

-Or steal one?
-[Khloe] Don't come in stealing fruit.

Just do it on the way out.

[doorbell chimes]

[Khloe] Kim, you knock on the door.
No one could say no to you.

-[Kim] Okay.
-[doorbell chimes]

We can always see her in there usually.

-[Kim] Hi.
-[Scott] Hi. I'm...

-[Kim] Kim Kardashian.
-[Scott] Scott Finley.

-[Kourtney] Hi. Kourtney.
-[Scott] Hi.

-[Khloe] Nice to meet you.
-[Scott] Khloe.

[Kim] This was our grandparents' house.
Can we look around?

-[Scott] Come in.
-[Kourtney] We have memories here.

I get introduced around here as:
"Scott bought the old Kardashian place."

[Kourtney] No way.

-[Scott] When were you last here?
-[Kim] Ten years ago.

-[Scott] Was it?
-[Kim] Yeah.

Remember we'd sit here
pretending to make drinks at the bar?

What did she have in the window?
It made a sound.

A cuckoo thing. She would always
wave when we were coming, profusely.

[Kim] Palm Springs
is just such a nostalgic place for us.

I used to run through
this door when it was glass.

Like, I hit it three times.

We used to eat lunch under that thing.

-[Robert] Look at these people watching.
-[Nana] We're watching all the kids.

-[Khloe] They made us wait 30 minutes.
-To get in the pool.

What bull[bleep].

[Kim] We have so many
home videos of us in this pool.

[kids screaming and laughing]

[Robert] That was real good, Kim.

-Hi, Rob.
-[Rob singing]

[Khloe screaming]

[Khloe] Didn't this pool look
ginormous when you were little?

Our grandparents' house looks the same,

and it's so heart-warming.

We have so many
amazing memories and fun stories

that remind us of our childhood.

-[Khloe] I remember everything.
-[Kim] There was a bookshelf here.

[Andrea] Remember
she had all her Henredon and...

-[Khloe] Oh, yes.
-[Kourtney] Changed the wall color.

[Rob] A movie! Dad, look inside here!

♪ Happy Easter to bunny ♪

[kids] ♪ Happy Easter to... ♪

-May we look in the bedroom?
-[Scott] Sure.

[Kim] This is where we'd cram up in here.

-[Andrea] Yes.
-So cute.

[Robert] What's her name?
Relaxing on our vacation?

-And lovely makeup, Kimberly...
-No, my pimple medicine.

[Robert] Pimple medicine.

[Khloe] I started my period here.

I went to Mom. I had
to tell her 'cause I couldn't tell Dad.

And she made me use a tampon
for the first-- Not even, like, a pad.

I remember I was:
"What the [bleep] is this?"

[Kourtney] We need a vacation house.

Kourtney, thank you
so much for Palm Springs.

Oh, you're so welcome.

It was a trip of a lifetime.

[Khloe] It was...

-Delightful!
-Mighty fine!

[Kim] My dad's brother asked
if I could bring him a grapefruit.

[Scott] Oh, sure.

[Kim] We would wake up
and love to pick grapefruits.

That was our thing.

-[engine splutters]
-[Kourtney] Bye. Uh-oh.

-Come on.
-What are we supposed to do?

-You're meant to pound on the brake.
-[engine starts]

-No, the gas, you moron.
-Oh.

-It's a classic. Bye, you guys.
-[Scott] Bye, girls. Good luck.

[Kourtney] Bye.

[Kris] Hey, guys.

Are you ever not on the phone?

[Kim] Are you ever not on the phone?

-[Kylie] Hey.
-[Kim] Hey!

-[Kris] Oh, look who you found.
-Hi, Ky.

-Hey, guys.
-[Kim] You look cute.

[Kylie] Dream...

-Isn't she so cute?
-[Kylie] She is.

-She looks just like Rob.
-[Dream fusses]

-Are you okay? What's wrong?
-[Kris] I bet she's tired. I think she is.

[Dream cooing]

[Kylie] Okay.

-[Kim] You're cute.
-[Kylie] Thanks.

You're cute.

[Kylie] Thanks, guys.

I, um, wanted you guys
to know that I went to go see Dr. Huang.

-What were you doing there?
-[Kris laughs]

Um... Well...

I just wanted him to give me--
Sort of I had a consultation.

Would you be able to ever
make an egg again as long as I live?

As hard as I could try.

[Kim] The fact that you
even entertained going to see Dr. Huang.

That ship has definitely sailed.

[Kourtney] You have grandkids you never...

It's in the [bleep] Bermuda Triangle
at the bottom of the ocean.

[Kris laughs] Does it?

I guess I kind
of got intrigued for two seconds.

I mean, there's something
very fairy tale from that whole story.

As silly as it was, I think
I just let my ego get in the way.

I'm not surprised, I guess,
that I'm too old to make an egg.

-You're 61 years young. And looking great.
-Thank you.

But the reality is that, as women age,
their eggs age with them.

So even if we were able to get your eggs,
the quality would be not good.

-I couldn't. It would be so dangerous.
-[Dr. Huang] It wouldn't be safe.

The silliness of even
thinking that it was possible is...

It was kind of fun
to fantasize for a second, but...

I'm okay with it.

I was so flattered by the offer.

That somebody thought
that much of me they'd want to do that.

I just wanted to go check it out.
So silly, I know.

One thing that was interesting

was that Dr. Huang said
I would be able to carry a baby.

So, if I had an egg put inside me

that was already fertilized,

and it took to my uterus
that I could carry a baby to full term.

Don't you hear those stories where the
grandma carries the baby for her daughter?

So if you're dying
to carry a baby, just carry Kim's.

Do you want to carry mine?

If I really thought
that I could carry it for you,

and it would be born okay,
I would do it in two seconds.

-I really would.
-Aw. Thank you.

I would. But it's
really dangerous. I just think...

I already offered myself, so don't act
like you're the only Mother Teresa here.

[laughter]

[Kim] Coming up next week...

[Kylie] When things
like this happen, I get excited.

[crowd cheering]

-[Kris] You are indecisive.
-It's debilitating.

Dairy free or gluten free?

-I don't have problems with this.
-[Kris] There's a fire.

-[Khloe] Someone's dying inside!
-[Kourtney] Khloe, I don't know.

-[Kris] So, what's going on with Chyna?
-We communicate very poorly.

It would k*ll me if I didn't have
peace between us for Dream

and just in general.