13x14 - Sister Surrogacy

[bunniefuu]

[dance music plays]

[Kim] Will you do me a favor?
The heat is on. I'm sweating.

-[camera whirrs]
-[Eli] Scoot over a little this way.

Oh, my gosh! Stop. What is this for?

[Kim] Just to have content for my app.

Geez. My app is about chocolate chip
cookie recipes. Gluten-free, dairy-free.

Mine's a really thoughtful app.

[laughter]

[Eli] Let's sh**t somewhere else.
Can we oil you?

[camera whirs]

[Kim] It's not gonna come off the table.
Kanye will literally k*ll me.

-What the [bleep] do we do?
-[Eli] You can sand it.

-[Stephanie] Sand it?
-[woman] No, no...

-[Kim groans]
-[Stephanie] It looks like water now.

Well, I don't know,
maybe we do the whole table?

-Do we put rice on it?
-[Stephanie] It's not an iPhone.

[Kim] Let's just put salt and rice.

-[Eli] Are you making bishi?
-[Kim chuckles] Yeah.

[woman] You're such a good cook.

[laughter]

[bouncy dance music plays]

[Kris] Hey, Khloe! Hey, Kim!

Oh, my goodness! MJ and Bob?

-Hello!
-What's good?

-Hi. You look pretty.
-[Kim] Hi, P.

-Wait, I want to hold her.
-[Khloe] No.

-I've never held her before.
-You've never held...

-[Kim] What?
-I need to have one more baby.

-No, Kourtney, stop.
-So look, guys.

Rob, get in the picture.
MP's in it. One... oh.

And MJ's here. What am I doing?

This is so cute. Everybody look this way.

Rob, look this way. One, two, MJ...

Dream! [Kris trills]

That is so cute.

Rob, do you want Dream to go on a walk
to go see the ponies and stuff?

There's three strollers
in the garage, guys.

-So, Khlo, I have a proposition for you.
-Make yourself comfortable.

I was thinking,
since you love these kids so much,

I'll give you my embryo to put
inside of you, you carry the baby,

and then give it to me.

What? So you want me to go ahead,

get fat, have your child,

and then give it back to you?

Well, there could be a trade in this.

How much money you paying me
to be a surrogate?

-You have to pay most people.
-[Kim] I only want one more.

I have two embryos. So maybe
I'll give you one as a consolation.

-Oh, so that's my payment.
-That would be normal[!]

You know what?

That might work out well,

because maybe your kid will
become more attached to me,

then I get two at the end of the day.

-I have good attorneys.
-I'm your sister.

You never know.

Having another baby
would mean everything to me.

But the doctors definitely say
it's too dangerous for me to carry.

So we were talking about surrogacy.

Then, last year
was kind of a crazy year for us,

so we put it on hold.

And now we're kind
of looking into it again.

I wonder how Tristan would feel.

-I forgot about Tristan in this equation.
-I think I should say to my boyfriend:

-"I'm pregnant!"
-[Kim] Yes.

"But it's not yours."

-[Kim] He'll be, like, "What?!"
-"And it's not mine!"

People think we're so weird already.
Could you imagine?

-[Khloe] Rob?
-[Rob] Yo.

-You remember Jamel?
-Yeah. How you doing?

-Good to see you again.
-Nice to see you. What's this?

Our massive vision board.
What we did was, let's take your thoughts,

and instead of them being scattered
in your mind, let's see them visually.

-So you can see and connect the dots.
-[Khloe] That makes sense.

Birthday planning!

What I'm pushing him is,
in your 30th birthday, like,

let's let everything
that happened in your 20s go,

and let's just create
the Rob that everybody sees

and knows has dope potential.

-Let's bring that out.
-I could be pretty dope.

-Yeah, okay.
-[Rob chuckles]

I am really excited Rob wants
to celebrate his birthday this year.

And it's dirty 30.

-That's cute.
-[Khloe laughs]

[Kim] Vegas, baby. The dirty 30.

I was in Vegas, too.

We were in New York.
We flew from New York to Vegas.

What's up, Las Vegas?!

-[Khloe] Happy!
-[crowd] Birthday!

-[Khloe] Happy!
-[crowd] Birthday!

[laughter, squealing]

-We were wrestling in the hallway.
-On the floor.

-[Khloe] Those drunken pictures...
-That are blurry.

-Yeah.
-Those were good ones.

I kind of was thinking
of doing a low-key movie.

-Nothing crazy.
-[Khloe] You could do whatever you want.

Jesus turned water
into wine on his 30th.

Rob, Mom does that with us every day.

This is your year to turn water into wine.

[upbeat rhythmic instrumental music plays]

-[Khloe] So strange I haven't eaten.
-[Kim] Why?

Working. Since last Friday,
I've lost five and a half pounds.

[Kim] That's amazing.

I think this, like,
whole surrogate process

is so much harder
than anyone would even imagine.

What do you have to do?

[Kim] Find someone that you trust
and that, like, is... close by.

But there's so many rules:

Don't talk about this.
You're not allowed to talk about this.

You should text them once a week.

-You should, you know...
-Crazy.

I mentioned to Kanye that, um...
that you would be our surrogate.

-Wait...
-He was like, "What? Is this a joke?"

I was like, "What if it's not a joke?
What if it's, like, serious?"

Would you do it?

Uh, I... for sure, I thought
it was a joke the whole time.

I mean, it's definitely something

I would have to, like,
you know, like, simmer with.

Carrying a child
and not have it be mine is, like...

That's a huge decision.

But Kim desperately
does want another child,

and I know how hard it is
to trust someone carrying your baby.

That's probably really terrifying.

I would never want you
to do anything you didn't want to do.

So it's totally up to you. No pressure.

But I would just, like,
meet with the doctor just to see.

I don't know. Is it selfish of me
to just sit here and just, like, nod

and listen to her and not be
proactive about anything?

Or should I, you know, entertain this
and just see, like, where this goes?

-[phone rings]
-Hello. Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey.

-[Tristan] I been asleep all day!
-The twins are here, too!

[both] Hi, Toronto!

[Tristan] You're having
a party in the bedroom.

I was gonna say the...
[whispers indistinctly]

-[Tristan] How's everyone's day going?
-[Khloe] Hold on.

-[Malika] It's a-going!
-[they whisper indistinctly]

[Tristan] If you cover
the screen, I can still hear.

-[Khloe chuckles] Oh, yeah.
-Wait, what?!

-[Khloe] You can tell him.
-Do I look gorgeous?

-I'm just kidding.
-[Tristan] FaceTime is the weirdest.

Especially if you can see the bottom
of my chin, my strong features I have.

[Kim] Yeah. The strong features.

So, speaking
of strong features... [laughing]

...how would you feel...

[Khloe] You can't act like that.

You don't want to have kids
anytime soon, do you?

[Tristan] I wouldn't mind four to five.

-[Khloe laughs]
-[Tristan] Don't be nervous!

But, like, not, like, in the next
year and a half, right?

[Tristan] Whatever God
has planned, you know?

I just think it's a beautiful thing,
and I would want more.

[Tristan] You might as well.
Have you found someone?

[Kim] I mean, it's in the process.

[Tristan] Well, is it going
smooth and everything?

[Kim] I hope so.

[Khloe voiceover] I could not
believe Kim is talking to Tristan

about me being her surrogate.

[laughs]

-[Tristan] Well, congratulations.
-[Khloe laughs]

I just wasn't sure if you wouldn't mind
if I borrowed Khloe's womb

for, like, like a good year.

I was just gonna see
how you felt about that in all honesty.

-[Tristan] Mmm.
-[Kim] Would you?

[Tristan] It's up to KoKo.
Whatever she wants to do.

[Khloe] He's so cute.

[Kim] There's so many steps to go through.

You have to go through
a full psychological evaluation,

I just wasn't sure if Khloe would
even pass those psychological tests.

-[laughter]
-[Tristan] She is kind of cuckoo.

[dance music plays]

[Jamie] You, over there.
You're gonna be here.

You, here.
We'll start with the laser hair.

And then this was your spot.

-[Khloe] Kim, you're doing laser hair.
-[Kourtney] This is such a fun sister day.

-[Khloe] Sister bonding.
-[Kourtney] What are you getting done?

I'm tightening my legs right now.

-I need neck tightening. I'm obsessed.
-[Kourtney] I'm doing that now.

And you do feel it.

-[Khloe] Who cares?
-I can take it.

[Khloe] Normally, you do one treatment
at a time. I don't have time for that.

[Kim] I know. This is genius.

You know what else?
'Cause I love to multitask.

[laughter]

Virginia's husband
opened this, like, restaurant.

It's Korean barbecue
and they have pinball at the restaurant.

[Khloe] How is that multitasking?

Because there's
a pinball tournament in the restaurant.

-I don't know how to play...
-[Kourtney] Neither do I, so we'll learn.

Nope.

-Pinball's, like, not my thing.
-It's really not mine, either.

-But I have a soft spot for Kourtney.
-Yeah. I think you should go to support.

But I have other things to do.

-Just any day you have other things to do.
-I'll find something to do.

[Khloe] Tattoo removal, kids.

Luckily, I didn't get any tattoos,
so I don't have that problem.

[Khloe] This one kills,
'cause it's my lower back.

[Kim] It hurts worse than
getting the tattoo, right?

-[Khloe] Uh, yeah.
-[Jamie] Are you ready?

[Khloe] I don't know. [she laughs]

[Jamie] You're doing so good.
Hang in there, hang in there.

[Khloe] Oh, man.

-Oh, [bleep] gonna [bleep].
-[laughter]

[Khloe groans and wails]

[Khloe] Arghh!

[Khloe]
[bleep] I forgot to call Cici back.

[dialing tone]

-[Cici] Hello.
-Hi. Is this Cici?

-[Cici] Yeah.
-Hi, Chanch.

-[Cici] Hi.
-How are you?

[Cici] Oh, I'm doing good.
How's everything?

You look amazing. You must be so in love.

-Thank you. I am.
-[Cici] So what are you doing?

Nothing. I went to Jamaica with Tristan,

'cause he had a little break
between the seasons.

-He's Jamaican. That was nice.
-[Cici] I saw pictures. We read his Wiki.

You read his Wikipedia? [laughs]

[Cici] Of course! Are you kidding?

Every time somebody dates somebody,
you have to read their Wiki,

you have to learn about them.

So now you have to learn Jamaican food?

Yeah. His mom actually
taught me some stuff.

-[Cici] Oh, my God.
-Crazy, right?

-Well, we love you, Donna.
-[Cici] Take care. Talk to you next week.

-[Khloe] Okay.
-[Cici] Okay, love you guys.

-Love you, too. Bye.
-Love you.

[Cici] Bye.

[Khloe] I mean, she's so cute.

We're taking the 405 to Wilshire.

[Khloe] This is your regular doctor
we're going to?

Um, this is Andy Huang.
He helped me out with Saint.

[Khloe] Mm-hm.

Even the fact that you're
spending your time to check it all out,

and entertain it, just means
a lot to me, so thank you.

Keeks, of course.

I've been thinking a lot about
Kim's request to be her surrogate.

And I don't know if I'm there right now.
I'm in a committed relationship.

And I see a future with my boyfriend,
like, I don't know.

I'm not ready to decide just yet,
but I don't think there's any harm

in me meeting with her fertility doctor,

and seeing what does it take
to do something like this?

Since the paparazzi's here,
if they catch a picture or a video,

they're definitely
gonna say one of us is pregnant.

Okay. It's a fun little game.

-[Huang] Hi.
-[Kim] Hi. Good to see you.

Good to see you, too.
Khloe, nice to meet you.

-Nice to see you.
-I'm Dr. Huang. Please, after you.

-[Kim] Here?
-[Huang] Yep. Right there.

[Kim gasps] Are the pink ones gone?

-Everybody eats the pink ones.
-[Kim] Mm.

-[Huang] Welcome back.
-[Kim] Thank you.

-Um, you have one awesome sister.
-Yeah.

-How old are you?
-32.

You're 32, okay.
Have you ever been pregnant before?

-No.
-Have you ever tried?

-Yes.
-Okay, all right.

But I fake tried. Like, I was married,
but I knew the circumstances

weren't the healthiest, so I just
kept pretending I was doing it.

When I was doing my fertility treatments,
like, they were more so for Lamar.

I had to stop,
'cause there was much deeper stuff

that was happening in our marriage.

I knew, you know, that it wasn't
the right situation to bring a child into.

And I think I've done a lot
of covering up for him.

Even when it made me
look like I was the problem.

But I was fine taking on
that burden on my shoulders,

because he had a lot
of other deeper [bleep] to deal with.

So the reality is you haven't had
a chance to get pregnant.

What I want to do right now
is do a quick ultrasound, okay?

-You want to come in to look at my uterus?
-[Kim] Sure.

I come here just, like,
for a doctor's appointment.

I have no idea I'm about to,
you know, even get an ultrasound.

Like, this whole thing
is just kind of snowballing

and it's moving really fast for me.

-[Huang] Khloe, all set?
-[Khloe] All set.

-[Huang] All righty, okay.
-[Kim] I remember this room.

Scoot down so your bottom's
near the edge. Knees bent. Perfect.

-I've cried many times in that chair.
-Scoot down a little a bit more.

-You'll see everything I see.
-[Khloe] Perfect.

We're looking to see if there's anything

that'll get in the way
of a healthy pregnancy.

So you're gonna feel a light touch.
And then a little bit of pressure.

-You okay?
-[Khloe] Mm-hm.

-That's it.
-What if he were to say I'm pregnant?

-I know. I was thinking that.
-I'm kidding.

-He's gonna say, "Oh, my God."
-[Huang] Okay. Here's your uterus.

So this is where we look
forward to seeing a pregnancy.

-And there's nothing there today.
-Okay, phew.

[Huang] So lining measures five.

Let me swing over to your other side.

These are follicles. These hold eggs.

This is just giving me an idea
of how young your ovaries are.

Are they young or old?

There are fewer follicles
than I anticipate for normal 32-year-olds.

[Khloe] Shut the [bleep] up.

This is definitely not at all how
I thought this appointment was gonna go.

What if I can't get pregnant?

You're 32 and your ovaries
are acting a little bit older.

You have about five follicles.


like to see ten or more.

-I have five?
-You have five.

I know we're here to talk
about helping grow their family,

but seeing this, you may consider
getting these in the freezer

while they're young.

-Get dressed. Meet you back in the office.
-Okay.

This is you, Khloe, when you were 20.

It's pretty easy to get pregnant,
'cause look at all your eggs you have.


something like this. See this?

-I should have seen 15.
-Right.

I get worried when I see five,

because if you're not ready to get
pregnant, this five will be four, three,

and two, sooner rather than later.

I can only imagine
how scary this is for Khloe.

I know she wants to start
a family eventually.

So me and my surrogacy issue,

it just doesn't even matter right now.

She needs to take care of herself.

There's a possibility you being
on the pill as long as you have,

has kind of suppressed your ovaries,
and not let me see the other follicles.

So, before we jump the g*n
or do anything, get off the pills.

I want to do another ultrasound,
I want to count more follicles.

And if we do that, and, uh,
things look great, awesome.

If things don't look good, consider
getting some of these in the freezer.

What if I never came here?

There's a reason for everything.

When I went with you to Dr. Surrey,
and he's like, "Khloe, you're fine.

But Kim, you've got problems."
That's when I came in here.

-Can I get your card?
-[Huang] I'll grab it for you.

[Kourtney] Should I sit next to Maliks?

-Are you guys hungry? I'm starving.
-[Khloe] Yeah, we're starving.

-Hi.
-[Khadijah] You look cute.

-Thank you.
-I see you in your blue.

So yesterday I went with Kim to see
if I could possibly be her surrogate.

I just wanted... we wanted
o get information and do all the stuff.

He said
I'm not producing enough follicles,

so he asked
if I'd stop taking birth control.

-Aah!
-Not to get pregnant.

-Just see what happens.
-Who knows, you might, anyway.

I was never supposed to be checked,
get my uterus checked.

-Those are some serious nails.
-You always go somewhere else.

-When we're talking about something.
-That's where my mind goes.

So Kourt got a new car, little sportster.

A little Aston Martin.

Who are... No, really,
seriously, who are you?

-It's really cute.
-Something's happening.

You want to talk about it? 'Cause I do.

No, but I do feel a life change coming on.

Before Scott and I broke up,
I was kind of, like, down and weird.

I started praying in the mornings.

Almost to make me feel,
like, fulfilled or something.

And I was like, "Wait, I don't want that."

I was like, "I don't want to feel
fulfilled in how my life is this second.

Like, I want more."

I think after everything
that happened in Costa Rica,

to me, it instantly was,
like, God showing me

Scott and I are
just not meant to be together.

I'm ready to just move on
and just feel like, "Okay, it's done."

[Khloe] When do you think
you're gonna start dating again?

Or do you want
to be casual and hang out?

If I liked somebody

then, obviously I would want
to have them in my life more.

-It hasn't gotten to that point.
-You have to start somewhere.

You didn't like that cowboy.

-No, no.
-[Khloe] The cowboy?

-You know what...
-He was kind of handsome, too.

-No, he was cute.
-He was bold. In front of everybody.

-By himself.
-Yeah.

He comes over and goes, "Hi, I just
wanted to say it's nice to meet you."

I'm like, "Yeah, okay, bye."

Kourtney has no game. She
doesn't know how to do any of this.

She let him walk away. I was like,
"Kourt, you want me to talk to him?"

No, no, if I liked him,
we would've figured it out.

-But...
-[laughter]

-[Kim] Oh, hey, guys.
-[Khloe] Hey.

-You look pretty.
-[Kim] Oh, thank you.

-Where you going?
-This dress doesn't really fit me.

-I just wanted to wear it at home.
-[Kourtney] What is that?

[Khloe] I don't know
what half this food is.

It's a lot of Kourtney Kardashian food.

Who do you guys think is
the number-one chef we've ever had?

Remember when we were little,
that chef when we lived on Abbington.

He taught me to say
"Whatever," and "You are a loser."

-And he had long nails.
-[Kris] What?

-Yes.
-Who knew I could afford a chef then?

-You don't remember this, Mom?
-No.

Maybe it was a paperboy
and you let him cook dinner.

[Kris laughs]

Even though we're not together,
Scott and I are doing our best

to be friends and be good parents,

so it doesn't really bother me,
hanging out as a family with the kids.

Okay, so, guys, we have
to plan Rob's birthday party.

His 30th birthday.

-[Kourtney] Okay.
-And it's Disneyland.

-I don't do Disneyland.
-Disneyland is the best place on Earth.

-Happiest place on Earth.
-Literally, happiest place on Earth.

[Khloe mouths]

-Rob wouldn't like that, in my opinion.
-I think if we take over the planning...

then Rob just has to show up and have fun

and he won't get anxious
about all of the planning.

Oh, my lord.

-Bob!
-[Rob] Hey.

Hey, Mase.

We're talking about your birthday party.

So, Rob, you came in
at the perfect moment.

We're discussing your birthday party,
so, we got Disneyland.

We can do 2 o'clock, snickety-snack,
by 3 o'clock we're on rides, and then...

This is something you want to do, Rob,

or is this something that your mother
and Kourtney have talked you into?

I know Kourtney loves Disneyland,
but... And Mom, I don't... it doesn't...

-[Kris] Is that good? Rob? Okay.
-Yes.

Bob, did you see I wore
a Mickey shirt the other day?

I am gonna Mickey it out,
Rob, just for you.

We're going to church later,
if anyone wants to come.

I don't want to go to church drunk.

-I can't do it.
-[Kourtney] I don't think it's that bad.

-To each his own.
-[friend] Turn water into wine.

Who's one of them
is their husband's place?

-"Who's one of them?" Which one of them?
-[laughter]

-[Khloe] Yes, that's...
-[they laugh]

Virginia. And the restaurant
is a Korean barbeque.

So and then are we playing pinball?

Yeah, it's a full tournament.

Since you're, like, dragging us
and making us do this,

I feel like you need to,
like, literally tickle my pickle

at some point during this night.

-A little... [clicks tongue]
-That's not suggestive[!]

Not literally tickle it. Like, you need
to go and, like, talk to someone.

-Talk to who?
-[friend] Pull some digits.

Look at you.
You can't handle this conversation.

-Don't look at a guy like that.
-I need you to do that. I wanna make you.

I'm just like...
I'm not a setup kind of girl.

[Khloe snickers] You're not a...
You don't even talk to the opposite sex.

-'Cause you're so socially awkward.
-No, I do.

-No, you don't.
-Yeah.

This is why Kourtney
likes to hang out with the young...

-No, they come for me.
-No.

We get that, girl,
but let me tell you why.

[friend] "They seek me."

Because you don't care,
so you just, like, you're dope-ass Kourt.

Then when you like someone,
you're so [bleep] weird.

-I don't know how that happens...
-[fly buzzes]

-Ugh! Ugh!
-Did you get it?

-Come on, Daniel-san.
-[friend] Get it!

-[Khadijah squeals]
-[friend] It's here.

[Malika] It's there, in front of you.

-[slams]
-[all] Yeah!

[bouncy dance music plays]

[Khloe] There's paparazzi.

Should we take
these hats off for walking in?

-[friend] Oh, no, girl, keep that on.
-[Khloe] Come on, girls.

Pinball Pussies.

-[woman] Whoo-hoo!
-[Kourtney] Here we come.

-[announcer] Welcome, guys.
-[Khloe] Thank you.

Welcome to the Pin-Ballbusters Tournament.

[cheering]

We are not leaving without the trophy!

-[Khloe] This is really exciting, guys!
-[all] Pinball Pussies!

-[all cheering]
-[friend] Chug, chug, chug!

[Khloe] There you go!

[whistle blows]

[announcer] Attention, everyone, we're
gonna get this tournament started, okay?

It's gonna be two guys, two girls.

-[Khloe] Go, Kourtney! Whoo!
-[Malika] You're going down!

[whistle blows]

[friend] Go, Kourt! Whoo!

[pinball machine beeps]

Yeah, Khlo!

-[Khloe] Yeah.
-[Malika] How did it not go in?

[Kourtney squeals]

I have no clue what the rules are,
I have no clue how to win, lose,

Who cares what the rules are?

I'm really here for the free alcohol.

Make sure this mark's not on my head...

[all scream]

-[Malika] I am so sorry!
-[woman] Towel, please!

[Malika] I'm gonna get kicked out.

Whore!

[Malika] Hey, you just scored 715,000.
That was [bleep].

-Can I steal her? Sorry.
-[Khloe] Yeah.

Come on, come on, mingle.
Don't hang out with people you know.

-Hi, guys!
-[men] Hi.

-[Malika] I'm Malika.
-[Niko] Niko.

-[Malika] Nice to meet you.
-Hi, how are you? I'm Kourtney.

-Are you guys pinballers?
-[Khloe] Go, Kourtney! Woo!

You're doing so well.

-Are you guys pinballers?
-[Khloe] Go, Kourtney! Woo!

-[Niko] Obviously.
-[Khloe] You're doing well.

Yeah. This is our scorecard.
I don't know how we're doing.

-Who do you think's better, you or Khloe?
-Probably Khloe.

-Khlo!
-[Niko] I want to see who's better.

Okay, yeah. She's better.

She said you're better, so I don't know.

I think she's flirting with you.
Is that your way of flirting?

-Yes, it is.
-Talking you up, that's the best way.

-[Kourtney] Khloe is the best.
-[Khloe] Yeah.

You're so socially awkward.

Like, it takes a lot for me to even
find anyone remotely attractive.

But you wouldn't
give someone, an eye or, like...?

[laughs] No. If that's your move,
that's a big problem.

-But what's the eye?
-[Khloe clicks tongue]

What's the eye?

[Malika] Kourtney, did you meet Matthew?

-M and M.
-Blondes and brunettes go well together.

It's not where I was
coming to look for my next husband.

Didn't think so.

[whistle blows]

[announcer] The winner! The Gogi Boys!

[whooping, cheering]

Seriously, this was an amazing win,
but all of you did so much better.

So, Kourtney,
I'd like to give you the trophy.

[crowd cheers]

This is what my life has come to.

-[Malika] Let's take a group photo.
-[camera shutter clicks]

[rhythmic dance music plays]

-[Jamel] Arthur George.
-[Rob sighs]

Why is all your mom's chairs so soft?

This is the same table Khloe has,
but these chairs are better.

Way better. You can... be elevated.

-[Kourtney] Hello, Bob.
-Hey, Kourt.

-Hey, Bob. Hi. How are you?
-How are you?

-Good to see you again.
-[Kourtney] Going to church tonight.

-Do you want to come?
-[Rob clicks tongue]

-[Jamel laughs]
-[Rob] Mm-mm.

I'm learning what your smiles
mean and don't mean.

-I feel like you don't want to go.
-No, I do.

-It's up to you. No pressure.
-[Rob] I do want to go.

-I do want to go.
-Okay.

-[Rob] Just not right now.
-Okay.

So, anyways, what's going on with Disney?

-We didn't touch base.
-He was down, I was down.

-But I really wasn't down.
-I'm always down.

What are you gonna do for your birthday?

I'm just gonna disappear
and, like, not really do anything.

So you don't want
to have anything even low-key?

All these things require a lot.

-And I'm just not ready for that.
-And you're just not there.

Rob has been doing so well lately
and it's just disappointing,

I think, to see him,
you know, retreat back.

We all, I think,
just became super excited,

and maybe just took it too far,
and, like, maybe it stressed him out.

But nobody wants him to celebrate
his birthday just staying home alone.

Do you want to just do,
like, a low-key dinner?

Possibly, but...

I don't know.

Things aren't low-key with our family,
but I think we should do something.

It's your 30th birthday.

I don't know. Things may change.

My decision may change,
but I just doubt it.

So, how the hell are you guys?

-Good.
-[Khloe] Good, good.

Scott just wrote me, "That line about you
[bleep] guys is pretty out there for TV."

-[Kim] Oh, my God.
-"For a Christian mother of three..."

For a Christian mother of three?

"It is totally your biz what you do,

but it might be a little much
for the world to hear you say that now."

And I go, "I like it."

Totally. Speaking of Christian Mingle...

[giggles]

-Christian Mingle?
-[Khloe] Oh, [bleep].

-What?
-My mailbox.

-[Kim gasps]
-You guys are freaking me out.

Are there photos of me on
the Internet I don't want to be out there?

Khloe, what the hell?

So, we know how you love to just
go to a farm and want to move to a farm...

-Yeah?
-...so we signed you up

on Farmers Only dating website.

-Hell to the no.
-No, we already did it.

We already did it,
and you got so many messages.

You guys are the biggest losers ever.
You think I like farmers only?

You always say you
want to move to a farm.

Yeah, with a hot [bleep] guy.

Well, how do you not
know there's not hot guys there?

-[Kim] Mm-hmm.
-[sing-songy] I don't think he's a farmer.

-Ew! You guys.
-You can tell.

Do you know what I like?

North Hollywood. What farmer
do you know lives in North Hollywood?

I told you about my night last night
and you think I need some help?

-Do you want me to repeat it to Kim?
-What? I kind of want to know.

What? I kind of want to know.

I sneak around this town
like a slithering snake.

-That's my sister.
-[Kourtney guffaws]

♪ Slacking, good for nothing ♪

Oh. Here you go, baby.

I don't know why
my sisters think that I need help.

I'm definitely living my life.

I just try to keep everything
as low-key as possible.

Good for you. If you want to hook up
with someone, that's your prerogative.

Right, but I don't think I need to,
like, go into details about...

[Khloe] You don't.

Good for Kourt. Something is happening.
What is she gonna do?

Just, like, what?
Dry up the rest of her life?

No! I get you have
your three kids, but now, like, get it on.

-Thumbs up or thumbs down?
-What's the point? I don't need help.

I know. I just thought it'd be fun.

-Oh, okay.
-Uh. Oh, my God.

The guy that I just...
put a thumb... Oh, it's...

-[Kourtney] He's writing you?
-Look. This guy, he said...

-"You caught my eye."
-[laughter]

[Kris] Look at this!

It looks like leprechauns
threw up in here.

I love it.

-[laughing] Happy birthday, Rob.
-[laughter]

-Thanks, Mom. You got your...
-Love you.

-[Rob] I forgot to wear green.
-[Kris] Let me take care of that.

-[phone rings]
-Here you go, here's some green.

-Thanks, Mom.
-[Jamel] Is that a real outfit?

-[Rob] Yup.
-You want to talk about that now?

I did that as an adult, too.
It was pretty good both times.

-How cute is that?
-[Jamel] That's pretty amazing.

[Kris] Hi, guys! Say,
"Happy birthday, Uncle Bob."

-Happy birthday. Made you a card.
-Thanks, Mase.

Oh, thank you. Appreciate you guys.
Look at the face.

-[Kylie] Bob!
-[Kris] Wow.

-Hey, Kylie.
-[Kylie and Kourtney] Happy birthday!

Oh, my God, it is so cute in here!
Isn't there a leprechaun filter?

-[Kourtney] Nope. I looked.
-St. Patrick's Day.

-[Kourtney] What a... Oh!
-[laughter]

-Look, KoKo.
-[Khloe] Hi.

-Rob, come here.
-I'm gonna use the restroom.

If you need to pee, pee in a glass.

I don't want to... like peeing
in front of people anymore.

Do you know I had no recent pictures
of us to post for today?

-Same.
-Mom, take a pic of Rob and I on this app.

One, two, three.

[Khloe] Hold my leg. Act normal.

[Rob chuckles]

My birthday means a lot to me
and I feel like I've been moving

in a pretty positive direction lately.

Lots of positive things in my life.

♪ Happy birthday, dear Rob... ♪

This birthday is definitely
very, very special.

♪ Happy birthday, to you ♪

[cheering]

-[Khloe] Blow it out!
-[Kris] Yeah!

[Khloe] Use those lungs.

This is all I wanted
for my birthday, right here.

-[Huang] How are you?
-Good. You?

-Good. Great to see you.
-Thanks for seeing me.

No problem. My pleasure. Okay.

You're not on birth control,
so I'll count your follicles.

and get a good idea of
your true ovarian reserve.

You're young. The hope
is your ovaries are equally young.

-Okay.
-If they are, great.

If they're not, maybe
we want to do something about it.

-Right.
-Ideally, I want to see 10, 12 follicles.

-That means your ovaries are still young.
-Okay.

I am nervous. What if he says,
you, like, aren't producing any follicles,

and you're just out of luck,
and it's just not gonna happen for me?

That's sad.
I don't want to think about that.

-[Huang] So let's take a look here.
-[Khloe] Oh, Jesus. Okay.

[Huang] Ideally, I want
to see about 10, 12 follicles.

-That means your ovaries are still young.
-Okay.

-[Huang] So, let's take a look here.
-[Khloe] Oh, Jesus. Okay.

[Huang] See this round thing?
That's your uterus.

-The uterus looks very normal, okay.
-Phew.

-[Huang] So this is a follicle.
-[Khloe] Holy [bleep].

-[Khloe] How many?
-[Huang] So here's one, two, three, five.

-About seven on this side.
-Ooh.

-[Kourtney whoops]
-This is good.

[Khloe laughs]

This is what we expect from a 32-year-old.

-[Khloe] Okay.
-[Huang] Even better on this side. Look.

-Oh, my God, I could feed an army.
-[Huang laughs]

-Who wants an omelet?
-[Huang] So, on this side...

[Kourtney] Ooh, one, two,
three, four, five, six.

-[Huang] Almost ten on this side.
-[Khloe whoops]

-You said ten...
-[Huang] There's more.

Holy [bleep].

It was all my birth control,
and as soon as I get the hormones

out of my system, I'm literally,
like, the [bleep] Easter Bunny.

I'm filled with eggs.

[Huang] So, if you're
trying to get pregnant,

then the time is coming up
where you want to be busy.

If you're not trying to, then you
want to be careful the next couple days.

Like, when? 'Cause I'm seeing
Tristan Monday for a week.

You'll probably ovulate
in the next few days.

-I can't have sex next week?
-[Huang] You...

No, you can have sex.

You just have to use protection.
if you're not trying to get...

-Why not try?
-[Khloe] What?

-[Huang] I'll meet you in the office.
-Okay. [laughs]

I am so relieved to know
that I am able to get pregnant.

[Khloe exhales]
The weight's off my shoulders there.

Now I have so many
other things to think about:

Do I want to have my own baby now?
I don't know.

So I'm at a crossroads
in life, guys. [laughs]

Remember, you're about to ovulate.
Keep that in mind.

Oh, I am. Thank you.

No, what am I gonna do? Seriously.

[dance music plays]

-[phone rings]
-[Tristan] Yes, baby?

Kourtney, what'd the doctor say?

That we have to be careful, right?

-Well, he said you're about to ovulate.
-Yeah.

And she has one very juicy-looking egg.

I have 17 follicles.

-[Tristan] You got that juicy egg, girl.
-But one is about to drop.

-One is about to be popping off.
-[laughter]

[Tristan] Oh, man. Baby, how you like
your eggs? Fried or fertilized?

-Scrambled.
-[Khloe chuckles]

[Tristan guffaws]

-Relax, it wasn't that funny.
-[Tristan laughing]

-Love you. Got to go.
-[Tristan] I love you, too.

[Kim] You would've
been really proud of me.

There was a tough decision
with my lip kit collab with Kylie.

-They printed the cap color wrong.
-[Khloe] Okay.



They said, "We'll reproduce them
and we'll toss these."

And I said, "You know what?
For the environment, let's keep it.

And hopefully no one will notice."

I feel like Leonardo DiCaprio
would be really proud of you.

-[Kim] Totally.
-It's like you own a Prius.

I went to Dr. Huang and he said,
"You know, when I saw you last,

you had ovaries of a 45-year-old."

But this time he said
that I actually look great.

-Wow.
-That birth control affects me...

My body reacts really well to it,
which is what it should do,

but he also is nervous for me
to, like, stay on birth control.

So you don't have to go freeze?

No, but he says, like, I should
freeze them. Just put them in the bank.

What does Tristan say just
about getting off of birth control,

freezing your eggs and all that?

What does Tristan say
just about getting off of birth control,

freezing your eggs and all that?

He wants to have kids now.

He's like, "I want to have kids
with you, da, da, da."

And Tristan was like,
"And then if you get pregnant,

you could make maternity jeans
for Good American."

He's so [bleep] cute and supportive
and sweet. I've never had...

And he's, like, such a nice, nice person.

Tristan and I definitely
talk about starting a family.

Um, he wants to have, like,
five or six kids with me,

and that's, uh, lovely.

We could start at one and grow from there.

But now, knowing I'm not on birth control,

it's scary, it's a really big step, but...

Who can I get to carry my kid?

It's annoying, this whole pregnancy thing.

But I honestly would say
if you could go through it

and have those experiences...

None of yours are positive.

But I still came out of it okay,
and I still feel like,

"Holy [bleep], I did it."

And the kids are amazing.

I literally wouldn't regret a thing.

Like, that's when your life begins, truly.

I know we've scared Khloe
so much, or at least I have,

in wanting to have kids,

but she'd be such an amazing mom.

We'll see. Whatever's meant to be will be.

♪ Turn it up!...

[Khloe voiceover] I am really,
really excited about my future.

Just me and Tristan,
like, we're doing so well,

and I'm looking forward
to see where all that goes.

-♪ Turn it up!
-♪ The sun don't shine in the shade...

[Khloe screams]

- ♪Turn it up!
-♪ Bird can't fly in a cage...

[Kim voiceover] I'm excited for Kourtney
to enjoy the single life. Live it up.

♪ Even when somebody go aw-ay

-♪ Turn it up!
-♪ The feelings don't really go aw-ay

[Kourtney voiceover] For my mom,
I would love for her to put all the drama

with Cait behind her.

♪ Waves don't die
Let me crash here for a moment...

[women scream]

♪ I don't need to own you

♪ No lie...

[Khloe voiceover] Kylie is k*lling it.
I'm excited to see her show.

I literally don't know
what Kylie does all day long.

I'm so excited, you guys.

♪ I don't need to own you...

[Kim voiceover] I think Kendall wants
to find her own place in the world.

I really respect her for that.

[applause]

♪ You set the night on fire

♪ I'm still gon' be here in the morning

♪ No lie... ♪

[Kris] One of the happiest
moments of this past year

has been the birth of Dream

and seeing Rob grow into an amazing dad.

[Kourtney voiceover] I hope that Kim
figures out how to expand her family

'cause I know that she really wants that.

[Kris voiceover] You never know
when to expect another grandchild.

I'm looking forward to seeing who's next.

It's all about the unknown
in this family right now, guys.

[Kourtney voiceover] This year's
definitely been a tough year.

It revealed that with family,
you can really get through anything.

-[Khloe voiceover] Anything.
-[Kim voiceover] Anything.

-Oke... [trills].
-Oke... [trills].