02x21 - Paddington's Radio Show/Paddington's Butler

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PADDINGTON: "Dear Aunt Lucy,

sometimes the end of something is a new beginning.

Let me explain.

Mr Curry and I love listening toThe Dragon of Gababoo

on the radio."

RADIO:Coming up next, it's "drama hour."

PADDINGTON: "We listen every week!"

RADIO:Now, in a change to our usual schedule,

The Dragon of Gababoo has been cancelled.

BOTH: Cancelled?

RADIO:Next up, to replace it, is a new show called,

Danny's Marvellous Tractor.

BOTH: Danny's Marvellous Tractor?

Oh, now we'll never find out

if the king enjoyed his birthday feast!

Or if the dragon has a heart of gold!

Which I know we disagree on,

but I've always thought she doesn't.

Oh...

I'm going to bed.

But, Mr Curry, it's still sunny.

Good night, Paddington.

Mr Curry has been listening toThe Dragon of Gababoo

since he was a child,

when the world was still black and white.

If only there was some way to cheer him up.

Well, maybe there is.

You could make the final episode for Mr Curry.

[Rummaging sounds]

You can use this!

My old two

-way radio.

It means you can perform into this end of the radio,

and transmit it to Mr Curry at the same time!

What a wonderful idea!

I could get Jonathan and Judy to help me.

Oh, great idea, Paddington!

I'll go and tell Mr Curry.

Och, no! You mustn't tell Mr Curry.

You'll ruin the surprise!

Oh! We could all play different parts.

I could play... a knight!



- Or a troll.

- No, you're playing the troll!

You could both play trolls.



- Nah.

- Nah.

Anyway, as we'll have to write the story,

tell us what's happened so far.



- Where to begin?

- At the beginning maybe?

Well, it's about a dragon who lives in a cave

high up on a mountain.

And she has been scaring the life out of the people



- who live nearby.

- What? With fire and stuff?

Yes, but, at heart, she's rather misunderstood.



- Poor dragon!

- Yeah,

but they want to fight her, right?

That's the thing, Jonathan.

The leaders can't agree on how to deal with the dragon.

And who are the leaders?

Two warriors, a brother and a sister,

called Itchybald and Scabbywelt.

Oh, we should play them!

Now, what do you think should happen next?



- Good question.

- Hmm...

The first thing we need is a script.

PADDINGTON:"Judy told us that a script tells us

what the character says

and we needed to write one fast!"

[Snoring]



- [Tinging]

- Aaah!



- The final episode is written.

- Nice!

How will we make the sound effects?

[Gasps] I know! Follow me!

So, I imagine you're collecting things to make sound effects



- for the radio show?

- Oh, yes, Mrs Bird.

Oh, in that case, help yourself to anything.

Anything apart from my family... china!

Whoa! Whoa!

[Gasps] Oh, thank goodness!

Thank you, Mrs Bird.

[Humming]

Thank you.

[Humming]

So, they're doing a radio show?

[Chuckles] Shame we haven't, uh, been offered a part, eh?

[Riotous laughter]



- Are you joking?

- Yes.

Yes. I'm just... joking.

This sounds like rain.

We can clash this cutlery to sound like a sword fight!

This trumpet could be a pretty good...



- trumpet.

- Hey! Watch this!



- Thunder!

- That's really realistic!

Don't you think so, Paddington?

Hmm.

Oh, erm, one thing we don't have is the sound of a horse.

I would make the noise myself, but I haven't ever perfected it.

[Splutters]



- See? I can't do a horse.

- You could use this!

What is it? Some kind of pancake?

It's a whoopee cushion.

First you blow it up.

And then sit on it.



- [Fart noise]

- [Laughter]

If we let the air out more slowly,

it might sound more horsey.



- Pff!

- Oh, that's much better.

PADDINGTON:"We were having so much fun, Aunt Lucy,

that I almost forgot the real reason we were doing it."

Right, Judy you're playing Itchybald the Warrior,

Bartholomew the Blacksmith, and horse one and three.



- Got it.

- Good.

And, Jonathan, you're Scabbywelt, Dr Pustule,

horse two, and an entire army of passing orcs.



- No pressure.

- Which means...

I am playing the dragon.

And you'll be great at it, Paddington!

Oh, no!

If I'm in the show, I can't listen to it with Mr Curry!

And it's "our thing."

What do I do?

Maybe someone else will need to play the dragon.

But who?

[Dramatic roaring]

"And from the depths of her cave, the dragon emerged!"

Roar!

[Clears throat]

[Wild roaring]



- Wonderful, Mr Brown.

- Roar!



- Roar!

- You can stop now.



- BOTH: Dad!

- Roar! Sorry, everyone!

Sorry. Sorry. Just really enjoying myself!

That kind of passion is just what we need

to make the show special for Mr Curry.

[Roars musically]



- That's great, Dad.

- Well done.

I try my best.

PADDINGTON:"Now all I had to do was make sure

Mr Curry tuned in!"

[Sighs]

[Door bell rings]



- Afternoon, Mr Curry.

- What day is it?

The same day as last time we spoke. As in, today.

Right. It seems like an age has passed.

I've actually got some rather good news.

The Dragon of Gababoois back on the radio! For one last time!

Oh! Joy of joys, Paddington!



- When?

- Whenever you like!



- Huh?

- I mean, very shortly.

[Gasps] Well, come on in, Paddington!

Now, you sit down

and I'll fetch us some dragonish snacks.

By which I mean, Spam.

Will do, Mr Curry!



- Everyone ready?

-Ready.

PADDINGTON: Good luck, everyone!

Mr Curry is counting on you.

Welcome to the last

-ever episode

RADIO: ofThe Dragon of Gababoo!

They've changed the theme tune.

Oh, erm, possibly...

I like it. Atmospheric. Hmm.



- [Slurps]

- Good morrow, Scabbywelt.

And what a fine morrow it is.

Aye it is, Judy! I... I mean, Itchybald.



-Stick to the lines, Jonathan!

- [Coughing aimed to distract]

Are you OK, Paddington?

Yes, just a bit of sandwich went down the wrong way.

JUDY:Behold, the dragon, it cometh ateth us... eth!



-FATHER:Is that me?

-JONATHAN:Yes, Dad!

[Coughing]

Oh! Paddington, you're ruining the tension!

FATHER:Roar!

Wow! The dragon's back!

Indeed she is.

PADDINGTON: "Mr Curry was gripped.

He loved every minute of it."

Ooh!

Aaah!

Roar!

Roar!

[Clamour]

Roar!

JONATHAN:And so, it was finally revealed

that the dragon did indeed have a heart of gold.

And here endeth the tale ofThe Dragon of Gababoo!

Oh! That was outstanding!

The best episode yet! I had no idea it would end

with them all becoming best friends.

PADDINGTON: "Mr Curry was very happy

with the end of the show,

and, very soon, we found ourselves enjoying

Danny's Marvellous Tractor just as much,

if not more.

So, we all moved on."



- FATHER: Roar!

- KIDS: Dad!

"Well, almost all of us.

PADDINGTON: Love from Paddington."

[Typewriter pings]

"Dear Aunt Lucy,

as you know, I am always trying out new things.

But, this week, everyone seemed to have a go at something new.

PADDINGTON:Because Mateo decided to have something called

a "Favour Auction"

to raise money for the dogs' shelter that Lucky came from."

So, this is how the favour auction works.

Lots of you have written down favours you will do for others.

All those names and favours are in this hat!

You'll pull out a name

and see what favour that person will do for you!

"Mr Brown will teach me to play... chess!"

I am pretty good. Though I don't want to blow my own trumpet.

PADDINGTON: I should think not.

You might put everybody off their chess game.



- Can we go next, please?

- MATEO: Yeah! OK.



- It's Simi! And she will...

- Take us shark diving.

Please say take us shark diving.

Lend us her goat Gertrude as a lawnmower!

Well, Gertrude's no shark, but that's still pretty cool.

Paddington, it's your turn.

I've got Mr Curry! And Mr Curry will be my butler!

Wait! What?

There's been a terrible mistake.

I thought you put your name in

and the job you wanted doing!

Paddington should bemybutler!

Sorry, Mr Curry. That's not how it works.

Come on. It'll be fun.

Plus, it's all for charity!

Woof!

Now, Mr Curry, what exactly is a butler?

Ah! Well, a butler is really a guest,

and you bring them cups of tea, and perhaps the newspaper.

Oh, I see.

[Bell rings] I think Mr Curry's a little confused, Paddington.

A butler is a person whose job it is to look after someone.

In this case, you.

Just ring this if you need to call your butler!

Oh! So, if I wanted something to eat... ?

You'd ring the bell, and Mr Curry would fetch it for you.



- Now hang on.

- It's all here

in this old book I found about butlers.

Thank you very much, Mrs Bird.

I'll lend it to you after, Mr Curry.

We both seem a bit confused as to what a butler does.

Well, thank you very much, Mrs Bird.

I'm sure it will come in handy,

as I have no doubt Mr Curry would like to be

the best possible butler.

It says here it is traditional to call the butler

by just his last name.

Hmm.



- Curry!

- Aaah!

Would you be so kind as to fetch me a marmalade sandwich,



- please?

- Urgh! Of course, sir.

Nothing would give me greater pleasure.

And when you've got the king surrounded, you say "Checkmate!"

OK? And those are the basic rules.

Now, you mustn't feel downhearted

if you don't pick it all up at once.

It took me years.

I think I've kind of got it.

You move the prawns first, right?

Yeah, well... "pawns."

[Chuckles]

And don't worry. I'll go easy on you.

Here goes.



- I think that's a checkmate.

- What?

No. No. I think there must be some sort of mistake.



- Um...

- I think I like chess!

There you go, sir.



- Thank you, Curry.

- How is it, sir?

Because if it was a really disgusting sandwich,

then perhaps I am not good as a butler,

and you should send me on my way.

Oh, no, Curry! You are doing a wonderful job.

But perhaps sandwiches aren't your strong point!

Let's look in the book and get some ideas.

"Butlers can carry all sorts of things on a tray

without dropping them."

I'll try.

Oops.

Never mind!

It says here,

"Butlers often entertain the household."

Hmm.

How about we go out into the garden

and you read me a story?

[Groans]



- Baa!

- Stop, Gertrude.



- Oh, hi!

- Hey, Simi!

Baa!

Be careful. She'll eat just about anything.

I'm sure it'll be fine! Bye!

GOAT: Baa!

Gertrude! That's Mum's favourite cushion!

Why don't we set up... here?

[Panting]

Or over here?

[Grumbles]

No.

Here.

A little to the left, I think.

How about somewhere that's a bit sunny and a bit shady?

Ow! Oh!

Now, that's a shame.

The chair was in a perfect position.

[Grunts]

It's fun playing butlers, isn't it, Mr Curry?



- Good idea of yours.

- Yes. Indeed. One of my best.



- Now, a story perhaps?

- A story?

Oh! A story! Oh, yes, yes, yes. I've got a story for you.

You just wait right here.

This is my own self

-penned epic fantasy novel

entitledA Game of Gnomes.

"Godric the Gnome hoisted up his beard,

looked at the castle and

-

- "

Oh! It took me all weekend to write that!



- Baa!

- Stop her!

We can't control her! She eats everything!

Oh, Mr Curry, I'm so sorry.

Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

Do for me?

What do you possibly think you could do for me?

Oh! Actually, there is something.

Ah, there you are, Brown.

I'd like to put in an order from the menu for tonight's dinner.

Very good, sir. And might I suggest a footstool?

There you go, sir.

Nothing is too much trouble.

I'd be very grateful if you'd mow the lawn.

Very well, sir.

Why don't you go upstairs and catch winks, sir,

while I attend to the garden?

Oh, dear!

JONATHAN: Wow! Gertrude's done a fantastic job!

She really is a brilliant lawnmower.

Hmm... mow the lawn...

Now, it's important not to rush these decisions. Hmm?

What if I just move the little horsey one to here?

Checkmate!

No! I mean, well done!

Do you want me to let you win one?

No, no, no, not at all.

No, let's, uh... let's set them up again

and, uh, and this time we're playing for real.

Oh, Gertrude has done a wonderful job.

Now let's get her out of the garden.

Baa!



- Uh...

- Oh, no!



- [Crashing]

- What? What was that?



- Please come back!

- No!

No, Gertrude!

What the blazes is that goat doing in my garden?

Baa!

No! She's taken Edith!

Hmm... Ah! Ah!

No. No. Oh... Hmm.

Oh! Uh...

Ah!

No. No.

How about, Mr Brown, if you move the castle?



- Or maybe this pointy one?

- No! No, no, no, thank you.

I just need to think of a devastating move.



- No, come back, Gertrude!

- Oh, no!

Gertrude!

Gertrude, no!

Put it down Gertrude, please!

Baa!



- Sorry!

- Baa!

[Gasps] Aha!

Baa!

Give me back my gnome!



- Oh, dear. Uh... um...

- Baa!

Got it! Mr Curry, I am sorry about your garden.

Well, perhaps if I had been a better butler,

this never would have happened.

Why not have a seat, sir,

and I will fetch you some afternoon tea?

Hmm. Thank you, Curry.

[Gasps] Checkmate!

It's checkmate!



- I don't believe it!

- Well done, Mr Brown!

PADDINGTON: "It was fun having Mr Curry

for a butler, Aunt Lucy.

It was also a lot of hard work.

I think life is a little more relaxing without one.

Love from Paddington."

♪ P

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