01x07 - No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives A Buck

[bunniefuu]

[Buzzing and chirping]

[Chuckling]

Good as new.

♪ Rocko's modern life ♪

Rocko's modern life.

♪ Rocko's modern life ♪

Rocko's modern life.

Spunky!

Spunky!

[Screaming]

♪ Rocko's modern life. ♪

Rocko's modern life.

[Laughing]

That was a hoot!

Okay, now, let's really turn it up.

One and two and three and four...

Blazes

I'm out of shape.

I'm not the wallaby I used to be.

Hey, fatso, let's go!

I'm not doing this for my health.

Okay, power jumping jacks.

Ready?

Begin.

One and two and three and four

And five and six and seven and eight and nine and ten.

And one and two and three and four

And five and six and seven and eight and nine and ten.

Okay, and rest.

[Doorbell ringing]

[Panting]

Hey, rocko.

Man, you've got color.

Come on in, hef.

Got any malted fish bits?

Ahh!

You okay?

Uh-huh.

You know, heffer

We're both horribly out of shape.

I'm huffing up stairs, and you're getting...

Well...

Fatter?

Well...

Say no more, rock.

That's why I got these--

Two complimentary passes to the new health spa

Where you sweat in luxury.

"Flambe le flab."

Okay, let's do it.

Wow, hef!

Look at this place.

We got to get memberships here.

[French accent:] not so fast, monsieur.

Hold it there, bub.

Entree into flambe is very exclusive.

We are used to a certain clientele.

Every move is graded on this chart.

Right here on this chart.

If I were you, I'd find another outfit.

Very tacky.

Extremely. Attire...

Minus ten.minus ten.

Ooh!

Ooh?

[Boinging]

[Crashing]

My shorts are chafing me.

Heffer, you're here to lose that big gut, not eat.

The more I eat, the more weight I get to lose.

Okay, people

Let's go!

Don't just stand there like slugs on a cabbage.

Whoa!

Ta-da!

Hi, everybody.

First of all, I want you all to give yourselves a big hand

For just being here.

Can we have a great big hug?

A big group hug.

Come on.

All right

It's party time.

Get those bodies warmed up.

Let's go.

And one and two and on your backs.

Now, grab your tushies and pedal.

Let's go.

Get up! Get up!

Now, shake those arms and sweat and sweat.

Hey, this is sort of fun, eh, hef?

Yeah, big fun.

And five and six and stretch and stretch.

Come on, let me see that sweat coming out.

And three and four and five...

They're trying to k*ll me.

And sweat and sweat.

Now turn.

Oh, you all are doing so fantastic.

Side and side and...

Yoo-hoo, kangaroo boy!

You with the little flabby tail.

Now, don't hide in the back.

Come on closer and join the party.

And five and six.

Now, move those buns, and squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.

Yeah!

Blimey, don't they ever stop?

It's flying time.

Oh, hello.

Oof!

Yeah!

Minus points.

Wow! Look at everybody building better bodies.

[Grunting]

Come on, hef.

Let's work on our pecs.

Why don't you try

That one over there?

Ooh! I like it.

I like it.

Okay. I'll try this one.

This looks simple enough.

Will there be anything else, sir?

Yeah. These plastic things can't cut my burrito.

What happened to you?

You been to the tanning salon?

How about some rowing, hef?

Okay?

Okay.

Ooh!

"African queen."

That should be nice.

Hey! I didn't pick this.

Here comes another one of them sissy exercisin' city boys

Sneaking up our river.

[Screaming]

Yeehaw!

[Grunting]

Now we gonna make you squeal, piggy.

[Squeals]

[Squealing]

[Screaming]

[Pig squealing]

Man, I feel % more healthy.

You don't look so good.

Well, boys, you are not faring well on our charts.

Eating on and misuse of equipment

Is seriously frowned upon here.

Minus points.

Come on, heffer.

Oh, no!

I've gained pounds.

I just can't do it, rocko.

I'm bored with flab flambeing.

Hey, give me that!

How about some basketball?

That's not boring.

What about lunch?

Come on, hef.

Try and get by me.

Arghhh!

[Women screaming]

That's going to cost you some big points.

Hey, how about a swimming race?

Loser buys lunch.

Woohoo!

[Shivering]

Come on, hef. Water's great.

Heffer?

[Screaming]

Heffer, you're really starting to tick me...

Tsk! Tsk! Leon?

Ja.tsk!

Mm-hmm.

Three tsks.

That's a tsk all the way.

Triple tsks.

What does this thing do?

Let me tell you-- this machine

Is worth more than you.

You hear me?

It's not for beginners.

Oh, yeah?

Come on, you'll show them.

Uh-oh.

[Screaming]

Rocko?

[Yelling]

Hey, chameleon brothers, come here.

This guy's hogging up the mirror.

I can't see myself.

This isn't going to look good on your chart, rocko.

Ja,and your friend ain't making out so good neither.

Heffer: boy, I can really use a cool one now.

I'll treat even.

[Soft jazz playing]

How about springing

For a couple of fruit smoothies, piano man?

Well, here's to

Our future healthy bodies.

Spilled your drink, huh?

Here, I'll get you a towel.

Ow!

Hey

I thought you had to wear towels in here.

I'm nude!

[Screaming]

Holy enchilada!

[Screaming]

Nice going, heffer.

We can kiss our membership here good-bye.

I'm sorry, rock.

I thought we were only here

'Cause you were concerned about my health.

I'm sorry.

Mrs. Bighead just plowed us with a piano.

And I bet a dollar to a doughnut hole

It was your fault, fat boy.

We'd like you to leave.

Ups-a-daisy, , go.

Now!now!

Hey, hey, hey, rocko!

Where are you going?

Youdon't need to go.

Youcan be in our exclusive club.

I'm in?

Sure. Yes.

What about heffer?

Ha!

Heffer?

Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Fat boy's got to go.

I can't join without my friend.

Listen, rocko

He's not cool and hip like us.

Rocko, rocko, rocko

You no want to be hanging

With big, fat, bovine dork man.

That bovine dork is my best friend

And if he's not good enough

For your club

I'm not good enough.

We don't need some hoity-toity health club

To stay in shape, eh, hef?

No way, man.

Heffer: care for another slice of pizza?

Rocko: I'm feeling the burn.

You should blow on it first.

The cheese is hot.

Heffer: "the all scottish show"?

Why are we watching

A -hour bagpipe station?

Tv's on the fritz.

It's all my lava lamp will pick up.

Sick cats sound better than that.

Get a new tv.

Can't afford it.

As long as

The lava lamp holds out

This will have to do.

[Screaming]

Tell you what, rocko.

I'll just sit over here on the beanbag...

Looks like your furniture could use replacing too.

This sofa's been in my family for years.

See that spot?

That's spunky's first spit-up.

And what about this?

This.

I found that.

Rocko, I think you need some new stuff.

Yeah, you're right.

Everything in this house is junk.

What can I do?

No money.

Spunky, your bowl--

It's...it's melted.

I thought spunky might want his heart valve bits warmed up.

Sorry, rock.

How does everyone else keep up with this?

I can't afford anything new.

Mail.

Junk, bill, junk

Bill, bill, bill, junk.

Hey, look at that one.

It's glowing.

Rocko, that's it--

The answer to all your problems--

Plastic!

You can charge now and pay later.

I don't know, heffer.

Rocko

Look at this face.

Are you going to deprive this poor little guy

Of a new dog dish?

Well, I guess spunky does need a new bowl.

Great.

You can drive, right?

Wow. Many trees.

Ooh!ooh!

Splendor!splendor!

Look at all these cars.

We'll never park.

Hey, rocko, look.

That guy's leaving.

Let's get his space.

Ah, rocko

He ducked between two cars.

Quick, get to the next aisle.

Rocko: stop grabbing my head.

Are you sure he has a car?

He looks like a kid.

He's got a five-o'clock shadow.

He has a car.

Quick, rocko, around that corner.

We lost him.

Why are you following me?!

[Choking]

Parking space.

[Sobbing]

I've been lost for years.

I can't find mommy's car.

Mommy?

Mommy? Where?

Mommy, where's the car, mommy?

Why don't we try the parking garage?

[Panting]

The air... It's getting thin.

There's no parking spaces.

Rocko, my nose is bleeding.

Rocko: blazes.

How do we get to the mall from here?

This way.

Son, have you found the car yet?

Hey!

Wha...

Oh...

Man alive.

Wow.

Please poke my eye.

Ouch.

You are here.

Hmm?

Dog bowls?

Dog bowls--

Area two, section three, level one, sector , aisle .

Congratulations on having the superb taste

To select us in your search

For the perfect concave receptacle.

And welcome to the ineffable resplendence of just bowls.

I assume you'd like to start with our ultra-deluxe model?

Just your basic model, please.

[Whimpering]

Well, maybe we'll look around a bit.

Feast your eyes

On the most exotic, sensuous, geometric inverse parabolas

Ever to caress a canine snout.

Jump on our doggie-style bowl ride.

Everybody on their hands and knees?

Then here we go.

A dust bowl.

His master's bowl.

I hope everyone remembered to flush.

[Belching]

Super bowl, fish bowl, finger bowl...

[Sniffing]

I sense you have a new credit card.

I can feel it on you.

What a cute little mutt.

Is that a whippet?

Rocko: his name is spunky.

Well, he looks smart enough

So, go, go, little fellow.

Run.

Run like the wind.

Find that special bowl that screams out your name...

Stinky!

Rocko: that's spunky.

Salesman: the leak elite.

Fine choice.

Uh...

[Cash register ringing]

Yikes!

See, rocko, you didn't pay for it.

You charged it.

Thank you for shopping... It's just bowls.

Watch your step on the way out.

Have a nice day.

[Moaning]

A sad, crying clown in an iron lung.

I've always wanted one.

Ooh, velvet.

Pre-elvis even.

A rare find indeed.

No, no, no.

Too expensive.

Credit card.

Absolutely not.

This is terrific.

I guess I could grab a few more things.

I guess I got a little carried away.

Gee, spunky, I'm glad you're happy.

I won't be when the bill comes for all this stuff.

[Telephone ringing]

Hello?

The money!

We want the money!

All of it by : a.m., Punk, or else!

Hey, why I ought to...

Don't let them scare you.

I'll stick by you.

I'll stand up to those thugs...

"Pay up by : a.m., Or else."

Uh, I got to go.

[Whimpering]

[Gulping]

[Panting]

[Whimpering]

[Screaming]

Don't leave home without it.

[Maniacal laughter]

[Screaming]

[Door slamming]

Huh?

[Engine starting up]

My...my sad, crying clown in an iron lung.

Oh, spunky, we don't need all that stuff to be happy.

All we need is this old couch and each other.

[Door opening]

Spunky.

I couldn't help myself.

When I found out you were going to lose everything

I went out and got the last one.

Heffer, you're a pal.

But, wait-- you don't have any money.

Hey, you didn't use credit

Did you?

Heck no. Only an idiot would use credit.

I used this.

I sold my second stomach for cash.

[Bagpipes playing]