03x04 - Fish and Chumps/Camera Shy

[bunniefuu]

(Buzzing )

(Rattling )

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

(Whistling and buzzing )

(Splat! )

(Screaming )

♪ Rocko's modern life.

Rocko's modern life.



That was a hoot!

(Birds chirping )

Filburt: hey, heffer, guess what?

Heffer: what, fil?

Filburt: I got the new glow-in-the-dark seahunter dive watch.

Want to see it?

Heffer: yeah? Okay.

Isn't she beautiful?

Whatever, fil.

Ask me what time it is.

It said :.

No, no.

(Testily ): ask me what time it is!

(Flatly ): what time is it, fil?

It's :.

(Ticking )

Heffer: ooh, I think I got something.

Filburt: what happened?

Heffer: it's his alarm.

Filburt: sh**t. Do it again.

(Whirring )

Heffer: filburt...

Filburt: yuck.

Get those away from me.

Heffer: it's stuck.

Filburt: gimme it.

Ouch!

Heffer: nice going.

Filburt: shh. You do it yourself, then.

Geez.

Heffer: I think I got him, give me a hand.

Huh?

Heffer: you'll break it...

(Both grunting )

Heffer: it's too big...

Hey, rock, you were going to take us fishing today, remember?

So...

You want to go fishing?

Uh, yes, captain.

You look like a bunch of soggerin' city boys.

But I'll take you aboard.

Uh, thanks.

Say, are those real wooden legs?

Wooden legs, wooden arms.

Wooden eyes, too.

We took on so much water

That the bilge rats packed their bags and jumped out.

I had me right hand on the helm

Me left hand on the mainstay

Me left foot on the capstan

Me other foot working the bilge pump

And me eyeballs stirring the galley stew.

That's when I heard a thunderous clap so loud

It would have driven any landlubber

To his knees in agony.

I turned leeward in time to witness the yardarm

Give way and come crashing down

Square on me midshipman's hindquarters.

He let out a scream that we heard in davy jones' locker.

Mickey dolenz' locker, too, and peter tork's locker.

All the monkees had lockers.

I said, "why, you cotton swab...

Hey, heff, ask me what time it is.

Heffer: do you think we can do this without crappie jack?

Rocko: sure, fishing's easy.

You just take a worm

And put it on a hook like this.

Ow...

Eww...

See? That was easy.

(Screaming )

Whoa!

(Shrieking )

Yow! Yow! Yow! Yow! Yow! Yow...

Okay.

Forget the live bait for now.

We're going to use cheese.

Cheese is real simple to use.

(Jar hissing )

(Rumbling )

Cheese...

(Sniffing )

Oh, I smell cheese.

Is that cheese you have there?

Can I have some cheese?

(Teeth chattering )

Rocko: okay, let's forget the cheese for a while.

Once you've got the bait on your hook

You just cast it to where the fish are.

Hey, heff, want to know what time it is?

Put a sock in it, fil.

Here goes.

Maybe I let it go too early.

That should have been a perfect cast.

Stupid weenies.

Rocko...

(Watch ticking )

So there I was, delirious with scurvy.

The only thing standing between me and me treasure

Was of the ugliest pirates known to neptune.

Make way, you barnacle-bellied boat bunions.

(Grunts ) dodge!

(Grunts ) thrust!

There you go, I'm like errol flynn.

I'll meet you up on the poop deck, you big...

Poop.

At last, I clutch in me wooden pegs

The booty I have sought.

Lunchtime!

(Eating loudly )

Heff, these are great subs you made.

I didn't make 'em.

Rocko: filburt, did you make the sandwiches?

No...

Then, who made the sandwiches?

(Shrieking )

Filburt!

Do something, quick!

Filburt: make way!

Stand clear.

Rocko: okay, let's not panic.

There's obviously something very wrong here.

I think we've had enough fishing.

We need to keep our wits about us.

Let's put on our life jackets and head home.

I'll pull up the anchor.

Grab the fishing poles and pack the tackle boxes.

Maybe we can be home by :.

Heff, could you give me a hand here?

What are you guys standing there for?

Will somebody give me a hand?

R-r-r-r-rocko?

(Whimpering )

Don't panic, I just need to get these buckles off.

Stupid, stupid buckles.

The buckles won't undo.

I know, I'll just take it off over my head.

(Grunting )

Guys, help me get this off.

(Crying )

Come on!

Oh, no! Give me a hand!

Hey! Oh, no!

Hey!

Hey, edgar, I almost got one.

Ah, there ain't nothing like a relaxing day of fishing.

Rocko: throw over anything that looks suspicious.

(Grunting )

(Groaning )

Heff! That was the engine!

Now we're stuck here.

But you said i...

Hey, heff, ask me what time it is.

Will you shut up?!

(Ticking )

(Beeping )

Rocko: mayday! Mayday! Do you read?

Mayday, mayday, this is thelucky strike calling.

Is anybody out there?

Man: come again,lucky strike.

This is the u.s. Coast guard, we read you loud and clear.

Yes, we've got some engine trouble, and...

I lost my dive watch.

It's round and metallic

And when you press the little button...

Lucky strike, lucky strike, uh, listen here carefully.

For a successful rescue

We'll need you to abandon your boat at once.

Abandon the boat?

Yeah.

But first take off all your clothes

And cover yourself with bread crumbs.

Ouch! Knock it off.

Ouch!

Argh, me blubber's slapping me in the face.

If only I could go to the sea gym

And lose some of this ballast off of me stern.

Oh, my... Oh, my...

Oh, my... Oh, my...

(Ticking )

(Watch beeps )

Did you hear about the evil tuna?

He was rotten to the albacore.

(Laughing )

Your fish story's got me in stitches.

I tell you, that's a good one there.

Edgar, look.

Shh, baby.

Easy, now.

Easy...

Hey, guys, you'll never guess what I found.

My watch!

Can you believe my luck?

Imagine, an entire ocean and it comes back to me.

What are the odds of that?

(Reel whirring )

Get the net there, frank, it feels like a big one.

(Heffer screaming )

Whoa, baby, bring it on home.

Pull, heff, pull!

I'm trying.

Crappie jack: there I was

Naked as a jellyfish in davy jones' locker

And I says, "are you going to take this golden earring

"Or am I going to have to make you eat it?

"You're going to wear that earring

It's a clip-on and it looks good on you."

Crappie jack! Crappie jack!

...and shoves my marlin spike right up his nose.

Davy reels back and heads for the rail.

That's when

As sure as st. Elmo, right there in front of me

Ba-boom! The blast took me aback

And threw the masthead straight down

Into the end of the crocodile cage...

Rocko, don't let go!

Hold on tight, heffer.

I, i, I'm trying!

I can't get a grip.

(All groaning )

Can I have some more cheese?

(Kissing noisily )

Oh, rocko

It sure is great to be back on dry land.

Thanks to that squid guy.

Man, he'd do anything for a piece of cheese.

I got it, edgar.

Filburt: hey, heff, ask me what time it is.

(Static )

Heffer: okay, here we are at fun central-- rocko's house.

Wait, here we are at rocko's modern home.

Wait.

Heffer, are you focused?

(Heffer shouting )

Whoo!

Heffer, can we start please?

Heffer: white balance!

Heffer.

Hey, rock, do that goofy face you do

When you're buying eggs.

Uh, what?

Uh, the stupid face with, with the...

Yeah, do it!

Okay.

Here it is.

Ooh, spunky.

Come on, spunky.

Get in the picture.

Come on, get in there.

Good boy.

(Yapping )

This is good stuff.

Your folks are going to love it.

Oh, heffer, this is no good.

My parents want to see what my life is like.

They're worried about me.

If you're sending this to australia

Make it interesting.

That's where the magic of filmmaking comes in.

He came to america a nobody.

Ouch.

He's coming home a star.

Hi, mom and dad.

Okay, this is where i...

This is where...

Are you recording, heff?

Yeah, you're on.

(Clears throat )

Hello, mom and dad.

I'm here...

Action!

I'm here where I work every day

Kind of a-lot-o comics.

That's my boss in the window.

He's a great guy.

Heh-heh, oh, my.

Hey, heffer, maybe we should sh**t some videos

Of wherewe work every day.

(Both laughing )

That's good.

Rocko: look how big spunky is.

Come on, spunky.

Do that trick.

Come on, do it.

Heffer: maybe he's asleep.

Come on, spunk, good boy.

Spunky, please.

What does he do?

Oh, it's fantastic.

You've got to see it to believe it.

Come on, spunky.

Come on, spunky.

Do your trick.

That's it.

Go on, then, go, go.

(Sniffing )

No, spunky.

Come on, do the trick.

Spunky, no.

Oh, get ready, here he goes.

You're going to love this, mom and dad.

Here he goes.

(Pop )

(Boing )

Whoa, all right, spunky!

Wow, how'd he do that?

Years of practice.

Did you get a good sh*t?

You bet I did.

Rocko: heff, I don't think my parents want to see this.

Trust me, rocko

Europeans go nuts for this stuff.

Now, let's make some magic.

Roll it!

Hi, I'm bev bighead...

Heffer: action!

Hi, I'm bev bighead and welcome tocooking with bev.

I'm ready to tease your taste buds.

The question is, are you ready for me?

Sell it, baby, sell it.

Heff, shh, the mic is recording you.

Ah, we'll fix it in post.

Now, let's make fly cakes.

First, you need

A juicy, swollen

Fresh-frozen, corn-fed fly

And a fly grater.

Holding the fly in your palm with the abdomen facing out

You scrape back and forth

And you can sing if you like.

(Hums opening bars of "la marseillaise" )

Ah, and the fly cakes are finis.

Mr. Bighead: rocko!

Get your brain-dead flunkies

And that camera out of my house.

Heffer: great, eddie, baby.

Now try it again with more pathos.

(Snarling )

Pathos?

Action!

(Yawning )

I'm going to bed.

It's been a long day.

Are you kidding?!

We can't stop now.

I can, I'm b*at.

Both: can we still use the camera?

Be careful with it.

I got to return it to the video store tomorrow.

Both: right.

Good night, folks.

Do you think he'll do it tonight?

Of course he will.

It's like clockwork.

Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness

One of the seven wonders of the world.

At about : eastern standard time

Through this window

Our buddy, rocko, will descend the staircase

As he does every night

For a glass of milk.

And he ain't dressed for the occasion

If you know what I mean.

(Giggles )

Yup, you heard right.

He's completely naked.

With no clothes on.

(Whistling )

(Giggling )

(Wolf-whistles )

Filburt: oh, my gosh.

He saw us.

I think he saw us.

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

(Doorbell tinkles )

Chameleon: look, it is our little filmmakers.

And they are returning our camera.

(Gasps )

Just look at all that...

Both: raw footage.

Hours.

Fifty-seven.

You are interested in our editing services?

Yes?

Absolutely.

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, come on, it'll be fabulous.

Fantastic.

Goofy sound effects?

Both: with whipped cream on top.

Both: cool.

I don't think

I can afford something like that.

Rocko, this is no time to be cheap.

It's for your parents.

Well...

Don't be afraid of art, honey.

Well, okay, but nothing too fancy, please.

It's for my mom and dad.

Both: I love this job.

Chameleons: good morning, little pinto.

Who am i?

Am I you?

No, I am not you.

It is masterpiece.

Shush, this is favorite part.

Sorry.

Chameleons: sorrow.

Sorrow.

Naked.

Chameleons: oh, look, snappy, snappy.

Heh-heh, oh, my.

Heffer: naked.

Rocko: heh-heh, oh, my.

Oh, my, my.

Heffer: naked.

Naked.

Naked.

Far out.

Like, zonky.

(Bell tinkles )

Hello.

"Please

Go downstairs for service."

Chameleons: good night, little pinto.

Snappy, snappy.

(All snapping fingers )

Groovatatious.

You said it, sister.

Look, all you cats.

It's rococo.

Yeah!

Look, it's rococo.

What the nutty's going on?

Everyone is frugging it to our far-out film.

Have an espresso, baby.

Our film?

That'smy nakedness!

Both: that's our masterpiece.

Rocko, dear, that was most...

I...

Would you like to buy a copy?

Only $....

Plus tax.

What?!

I'll take nine copies.

What's going on here?

Rococo, you're going to be a big hit

In the avant-garde circles.

Everyone who is wishing to look artistic

Will want one...

Both: of our , copies.

(Gulps )

Nine, please.

Mrs. Bighead, help me.

This was only for my mom and dad.

Buy them, buy them all!

I'll pay you back somehow.

She'll take them all!

But, rococo, we have only copies in the store.

Ya, the rest have been distributed

To every hip store in town.

(Screaming )

Okay, here's more.

How we doing?

,.

Left to go.

Eleven.

Oh, more, more.

Make that ten.

Ten?

Ta-da!

Ten.

Heffer, is it ten or ?

Ten.

Whew!

I sent one

To the australian film festival.

You did what?!

(Screaming )

Rocko?

You got mail.

One's from your folks.

My parents?

Give me that!

"Dear son, your father and I

"Just got home from the film festival.

"My, weren't we surprised.

"We are so proud of you.

"Would you please autograph the enclosed censor bars

"For our friends

"And relatives?

"Also enclosed, please find ten dollars, american

"For a robe.

We love you very much, boo-boo."

Both: boo-boo?

(Laughing )

Boo-boo.

"Love, mom and dad."

I don't believe it.

Yeah, well, wait till you see this.

From the film board nationale du australia.

There's a check.

"Congratulations, mate on your..."

Both: we won!

Our film won in the australian film festival!

I don't believe it.

Do we have to erase all of them?

Absolutely.

Every last one.

Filburt?

Ready.

One.

One.

One.

Oh, my gosh.

This one isn't yours.

Both: what?

(Giggles )

All: toads of love ?

That's the bigheads.

(Dishes breaking, ed and bev laughing )