04x08 - The High Five of Doom/Flyburgers

[bunniefuu]

(Buzzing )

(Rattling )

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

(Whistling and buzzing )

(Splat! )

(Screaming )

♪ Rocko's modern life.

Rocko's modern life.



That was a hoot!

Announcer: chewy chicken.

It truly is chew-a-licious!

Mmm.

Chew-a-licious.

Man, I'm starved.

Hi, filb.

Oh, hello, heffer.

Hey, what are you doing?

Oh, nothing.

You writing something?

No. Now leave me alone.

Aw, come on.

Let me see.

No!

Please?

No!

Just a peek?

Whoa-oh-oh-oh!

(Grunts )

Oops.

Hey, hey!

Hmm!

Let's see what we have here.

No!

No one can see it.

It's filled with my most personal thoughts.

Oh, fish sticks.

I'm almost late for my meeting.

I got to run.

See you later!

Ooh!

Fil...!

(Slobbering )

Oh, look, spunky.

It's heffer.

Hey, heffer!

Wait up!

Oh. Hi, rock.

Hi, heff.

What are you reading?

What do you mean?

That book.

It's, no... Uh, nothing.

That's filburt's private diary.

Heffer! I'm surprised at you.

But, uh, but, uh

But, uh, but, uh, but...

You know it'swrong

To read someone's private diary.

But the temptation is so strong!

I know, heff.

Look, give me the diary

And I'll give it to fil the next time I see him.

That way, you won't be tempted again.

Okay.

Thanks, rocko.

My pleasure.

Well, spunky, I'll just return this to filburt later.

Heff doesn't mean to pry.

He just needs some work on his self-control.

Hmm.

I wonder what he's written about me?

Maybe I could just...

No, no, no!

That would be wrong.

I've got to do something to get my mind off this journal.

And now back to celebrities' private lives...

Because there's nothing more fascinating

Than other people's secrets!

(Rag squeaking on dish )

(Turns off vacuum )

Oh, dear.

Filburt's diary has fallen off the coffee table...

And it didn't open.

Thank goodness.

Maybe I could just read one page.

Rocko! Do you still have filburt's diary?

No! I mean yes!

But I wasn't reading it

If that's what you mean.

I've just got to see it!

It's all I think about!

I can't stand sleep, I can't think

I-i can't eveneat.

(Burps, passes gas )

Well, okay, ican eat.

Heffer, you have no will power.

It's true!

I'm pathetic and weak!

I wish I was strong like you.

Heh, well, uh, heh, look, heff.

If I let you see one page, will you be satisfied?

Yes, I'll be satisfied.

Heffer: "the earth log of filburt shellbach.

"I am an alien.

"For our evil plan to take over this puny planet

See next page."

Well, that's one page.

Yep. One page.

Play a game of badminton?

Um, yeah, okay.

Rocko: let's swat the birdie around.

...great idea.

Page two.

"The evil plan.

"We have been sent to earth by our supreme leader...

Filburt: quarnoz.

His orders?

Eliminate all of earth's anthropomorphic creatures.

He sent us on our way with a big ceremony

And the quarnozian salute.

(Coughs )

(All cough )

We boarded our shell ships

And began the long and arduous journey.

Quarnozians (in unison ): I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous.

I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous...

(Cackling )

Using chewy chicken restaurants

As our secret meeting places...

(Coughing )

...we are now ready to begin

The execution of quarnoz's evil, yet subtle, plan.

The elimination of the populace

By using the infamous quarnozian high five of death.

(Woman screaming )

By fortunate coincidence

If these earth creatures have one weakness

It's their inability to resist a request for a high five.

Nice sh*t.

High five?

(Laughing )

Hey, nice painting.

High five?

(Laughing )

Nice melons.

High five?

(All laughing )

Soon, we will implement our plan...

And this pathetic planet will be ours."

(Gulps )

Filburt? An evil alien bent on global domination?

Look. It says here that they are using

Chewy chicken restaurants for their secret meetings.

Filburt eats lunch at chewy chicken every day!

It also says that their food of choice is mustard

Which is consumed by slapping it under their armpits?

Let's go check it out.

Heffer: I knew he'd be here!

Probably revising his evil plans.

Now, heff

There's probably a rational explanation.

Oh, right!

(Sighs )

Filburt: hey, guys.

Over here.

Hi, rocko.

Hi, heff.

Hello, filburt...

If that is your real name!

Uh, do you have any plans for later?

Plans?

Uh, you know, go to the park

See a movie...

Burst out of someone's chest?!

No. Just a quiet afternoon at home.

Alone.

Minding my own business.

(Reproachfully ): heff.

So, filb, uh...

Clatu barrada niktoe!

Hmm?!

Huh?

What?

It's alien language.

I saw it in a sci-fi movie.

Heff, I think we'd better go.

And how come all you turtles

Eat at chewy chicken?! Huh?

Well, it's the only place in town

That serves a good lettuce torte with broccoli squeezings.

Broccoli squeezings, my butt!

We're definitely going now.

You can't fool me!

I know this place is just a front!

Chewy chicken is people!

Chewy chicken is people!

(Screaming ): chewy chicken is people!

Whew!

That's a relief.

Maybe we were wrong.

No, he's just too clever for us!

Gee, heff, I don't know.

Look!

He's eating mustard through his armpits!

Thatis what it looks like.

What do we do now?!

Ah-ha!

We'll follow him and see if he leads us to...

Uh...

We'll just follow him!

(Airwaves beeping )

(Screaming )

(Grunting )

Hey, what was that?

I definitely heard something go bang.

(Grunting )

(Clanging, rumbling )

Oh, no!

It's an earthquake!

Filburt: I hate this planet!

Rocko: hurry!

We've got to read the last chapter of the journal!

Oh, no! Listen to this.

"It has come to my attention that my two earth contacts

"A wallaby and a steer

"Have stumbled onto my secret

And must now be destroyed!"

Filburt: I am headed over to deal with them right now.

I am going to give them

The quarnozian high five of death.

And then no one will be able

To stop us from taking over the world!

(Doorbell rings )

Hi, guys.

(Screaming )

Hello?

Are you in there?

Hey, heff, what's up?

Well, in a nutshell

Filb is actually an evil alien

Bent on world domination

And he's come to k*ll us!

Grab something heavy

And help us barricade the door.

(Elephant trumpets )

Hey, heff, who did you say was an alien?

(Chuckling nervously )

(Yells ): rocko!

(Screams )

I mean, hello, filburt.

Hi, rock.

I only stopped by

To ask you if you'd seen my journal.

Journal?

(Chuckles )

Oh, my.

Yeah.

I can't find it anywhere.

I'm sure it'll turn up.

Oh, I hope you're right.

I wouldn't want it to fall into the wrong hands.

Know what I mean?

Hey, what's that?

Uh... Your journal?

My journal!

You found my journal!

I sure owe you one.

Hey, guys.

How about...

A high five?

Both: hit the deck!

Hey. What's wrong with you guys?

Why are you acting so strange?

Us, strange?

We're not the ones trying to give you

The quarnozian high five of death!

(Gasps )

You read my diary!

You're darn right we did, you genocidal alien maniac!

We know all about your evil plan!

(Snickering )

(Laughing )

(Laughing louder )

(Laughing hysterically )

Hey. What's so funny?

You guys thought I was an alien.

That's what your journal says.

(Giggling )

It's not a real journal.

It's a science fiction novel I'm writing!

(Laughs goofily )

I'm not an alien.

But wait a minute.

This afternoon, we saw antenna

Coming out of your head.

Antenna?

Oh, I was watching tv.

I always put the tv antenna

On my head.

That way, I get good reception

No matter where I sit.

Oh. Heh-heh.

But we saw you putting mustard under your arms!

Hey, why spend money on cologne when mustard is free?

Huh. Wow.

We sure jumped to some pretty wild conclusions.

Yeah. We shouldn't have

Read your journal in the first place.

Oh, that's okay.

Hey, guys.

High five?

(Chuckling )

Both: sure.

(Laughing )

(Laughing triumphantly )

"...and the two earthlings were blown to bits.

"Then my alien friends and myself

"Took over the entire planet.

The end."

Hey, rock.

It is a novel.

Filb's not really coming over

To high-five us to death!

(Chuckles )

I knew that.

(Doorbell rings )

Hi, guys.

Hey, guys?

Hello?

Rocko.

Hello?

I'm still here.

Hey.

(Tires squeal )

(Footsteps running )

(Doorbell rings )

(Footsteps running )

(Tires squeal )

Hey, a package for me!

I wonder who it's from.

Oh, good old mom.

"Triple-a australian outback beef."

My favorite.

I remember the last time mom sent me a package.

Come and get it, heff!

Burgers are ready!

(Gobbling and chomping )

I better put this one in my secret place.

You'll be safe in here, my little tasty ones.

(Sizzling )

Are you tired of being swatted, threatened

Like an ignominious speck

In a swirling mass of pain and suffering?

Or just tired of being broke?

Now you're talking my language!

Let wally h. Barker make you filthy rich!

Win big bucks the fun and easy way.

Sue!

Wally h. Parker got me . Million...

For no good reason!

That's right. I'm wally h. Parker

And I'll fill your pockets with peace of mind.

Yeah? Peace of mind don't pay the rent!

(Chomping )

(Spitting )

This garbage ain't even fit for a fly!

Man, what I wouldn't do for a real burger.

(Hooves thundering, cowboy whistling, mooing )

(Sniffing )

Mmm...

Hello!

Ew! Dirty flies!

Shoo! Fly away!

Just try and make me, bub.

Say, what are you trying to do?!

I, I was just trying to cook my burger... Really.

You could have k*lled me!

You ought to watch where you swing that thing.

Yes... Sorry.

Here, let me help you.

There... Good as new.

Yeah, and let's keep it that way.

Oof!

Oh, dear!

You all right?

Yeah, I'm o...

I mean... (Yells )

My neck!

My leg!

Ah, my leg... My leg!

You're going to pay for this, pal!

You're going to pay big!

I'll see you in court!

He's sure got his knickers in a twist.

Just having a bad day, I guess.

(Vacuum whirring )

(Doorbell chimes )

Yes?

Are you... Rocko?

Yes.

"To appear..."

(Muttering )

You want me to appear in court?!

That's what it says.

Have a nice day.

Blimey, I'm being sued by a fly.

(Squeaks )

(Spectators murmuring )

Don't worry, rock.

You'll be out of here soon.

Thanks, pal.

Looks bad.

I bet he'll get life.

Heffer!

All please rise

For the honorable judge sockner.

(All gasp )

Please be seated.

Court is now in session.

Now, where's that fly you slaughtered?

Slaughtered?!

(Wheels creaking )

(Coughing )

This is terrible.

You poor little victim.

That's right, your honor.

Poor me.

Approach the bench.

Now, sir.

Can you tell us who did this to you?

Sure I can, chief.

It was him!

He's the one! (Crowd gasps )

But i...

Shut up!

I've heard enough from you.

(Clears throat )

You were saying?

He had a big...

Spatula.

And he kept... (Pounding )

(Crying )

Oh, boy.

Is the jury as outraged as I am?

All: yes, we are.

Very good.

Go back and get us a verdict.

And the verdict is?

All: he's...

Guilty!

Of course.

(Crowd gasps )

I sentence you to days.

Days as a fly.

(All gasp )

(Engines roaring )

(Zapping )

No!

Cool.

(Zapping )

(Zapping )

(Buzzing )

Now get that fly out of my courtroom.

(Spluttering )

(Screaming )

Now what do we do?

Whatcan we do?

Both: party at rocko's!

(All cheering ): hurray!

(Screaming )

Hey, watch where you're going.

(Screams )

Watch out up there.

What's wrong with all of you?

Can't you see me?

Excuse me.

Fly in training. Sorry.

Please... No!

(Panting )

Fly day is a very dangerous day.

Well, wally, thanks for the use of the equipment.

Couldn't have done it without you.

A little something for your troubles.

Not now, you idiot.

Oh, yeah.

Sorry.

All this litigation sure works up an appetite.

Fly: waiter!

Bring me more soup!

Here you are, sir.

(Guzzling )

Ah!

That's good soup.

(Burping )

Say, I think I know that fly.

Why, just five minutes ago

That faker was up to his neck in bandages.

Quite a speedy recovery, eh, doc?

(Gulping )

The jig is up.

Rocko: aussie burger.

Home of the triple "a" outback burger.

(Chomping )

Hmm!

(Rocko yelling )

Yeuch!

Thanks for the unscheduled flight.

I got better trash than this at home.

(Heffer whooping, glass shatters )

Oh, what now?

(Glass shattering )

Gently...

(Crowd gasps )

Ta-da!

(All laughing )

(Laughing continues )

(Rock and roll music playing )

Heffer: hey, filburt!

It's chow time!

(Shouting ): not my beef!!

(Groaning )

(Yelling )

Filburt. (Buzzing )

k*ller flies.

Get 'em off!

Get 'em off!

Got it.

Ow!

Hold still.

Quit it.

There he goes.

That fly must be stopped!

(Rock and roll continues )

Attention, everyone.

(Music stops )

A fly is ruining our party.

A fly?!

Let's get him.

(All shouting angrily )

(Screams )

(Crowd shouting angrily )

(Gasps )

Ow.

(Angry talk continues )

We have cornered the evil one.

Come, let us all smash him.

Is there a rocko here?

I'm rocko!

Rocko?

Oh, dear.

Buddy... (Laughing )

We didn't know it was...

Out!

Everybody out of my house!

Rocko: not you two.

(Chuckling nervously )

Do you mind telling me what's going on here?

But we were just...

And then they came in... I was...

Please!

Please, one at a time.

(Clears throat )

I'll go first.

A grave injustice has been made

And I'm here to right the wrong.

One moment, please.

Say you're sorry.

Yeah, yeah.

Um...

I'm sorry.

Well, I'm sorry, too.

I had no idea a fly's life was so difficult.

Pals?

In your dreams, freak.

(Buzzing )

Your honor, I'd like to be big again.

My pleasure.

(Buzzing )

(Zapping )

Sorry for taking your stuff, rocko.

I'm sorry for inciting a mob against you.

And I'm sorry for not coming

To this party sooner.

We'reall really sorry.

How about a great big group hug?

Yes.

(All oohing and aahing with pleasure )

Hey, where did you get that burger?

(Growling )

Never mind.

Boy, what a day.

Good night.

(Buzzing )