01x17 - Brave Udders/Otis' 11

[bunniefuu]

I'm just heading to the fields, duke, I'll be back.

[Animal noises]

Clear!

[♪...]

All right!

"Rat-abunga!"

Man: ♪ from the haystacks up to the hilltops ♪

♪ We go on dancing...

[Animals cheering]

♪ ...through the night

Ow, ow, ok, ow.

Ow!

Whoo!

♪ Do-si-do your partner, now

♪ Gonna party now till the morning light ♪

♪ Do-si-do and don't you know ♪

♪ It's just the way we animals roll. ♪

[Engine revving]

Ha-ha!

[♪...]

[Peck sputtering]

[Crowing]

Oh...

♪ Good morning, barnyard

Ouch.

♪ It's a sunny day and I'm getting the mail ♪

♪ Got a spring in my step and a swish in my tail ♪

Good morning, crows.

Keep walking, stupid cow.

Oui,you disgust us.

[Laughs] you guys are so delightfully angry.

[Whistling]

Mail call!

Thanks, badger.

Man, I feel great.

I mean, nothing but nothing could ruin a wonderful day like this.

[Gasps]

[Thunder crashing]

[Screams]

Krauser krebs, it can't be.

"Hey, beef boy.

Otis and krebs: "long time no see.

"Get ready.

Krebs: I'll be coming for you at : a.m. Tomorrow."

Tomorrow... [Echoes]

Hey, otis.aah, fear!

What's wrong, otis?

Did you get some bad news in the mail?

Mail, what?

No, this is nothing.

[Chomps] well, I'm off to the moon, see ya.

Pip: am I wrong, or is otis acting weird?

Aw, he's probably just worried about his moon trip.

Otis?

[Yells] again, fear!

Oh, sorry, otis, we didn't mean to scare you.

We were just wondering why you were putting up barbed wire.

Nothing, no reason.

[Shouting]: why are you hounding me?

Ok, it's official, otis is acting crazy.

I know, I'm beginning to think there is no moon trip.

Pip: well, whatever it is, it's serious.

I'd better go check it out.

Otis, is that you?

Whoa, baby, no, there's no otis here.

It's just me, freaky hippie dude sky-moon rainbow.

Peace, baby.

Hey, look, a friendly hippie.

Stick it to the man!

Pig, that's otis.oh.

Otis, what in the world are you doing?

Aw, man, can't a cat, like, assume a new identity

Without everybody hassling his head-bone?

[Screams]

[Screams]

[Screaming]

Pip: otis, why are you in the well?

Otis: hey, why are you notin the well?

Now go away.

Ow!

Help me haul him up.

[All grunting]

Pow... Can I help you?

Dude, for the last time, what's bugging you?

Ah, fine... I got a letter today from krauser krebs.

Krauser krebs?

Never heard of him.

Never heard of him?

Check out this flashback.

...not a day would go by when I wasn't bullied by krauser krebs.

♪ La-la-la-la-la, someday my head will fit my body ♪

Krebs: well, well, well.

If it isn't beef boy.

Time to take a stroll down the meat aisle.

T-bone, rib roast, filet, sirloin... [Laughs]

Now let's see what we got in the dairy section.

No, no, not the dairy section.

Percent, percent, half and half... [Laughs]

Why are you squirting yourself?

Stop squirting yourself.

Cleanup on aisle three.

[Laughs] see you tomorrow, beef boy.

Cleanup on aisle three.

Cleanup on aisle three, cleanup on aisle three.

[Shudders]

Krebs found me, and he's coming for me at : a.m. Tomorrow.

Ooh, fun, now I get to watch jerkules get his butt whupped by someone other than me.

Otis, you can't live in fear like this.

Yes, I can.

Yeah, otis, fight back, open a can of hurt on him.

Pip's right, otis, brave men die but once

But cowards are wedgied many times during the course of a typical week.

You guys don't understand.

Krebs is a walking engine of destruction

With punches for arms and pain where my face should be.

Aah, that's terrifying.

I'll be in the well.

[Screams]

Otis, you can face this bully.

'Cause this time you have something you didn't have then.

A flamethrower?

No.

Us.

Yeah, us.we got your back.

You're right, I'll do it.

I will stand up to krebs.

[Cheering]

That's it.

First I'm gonna go online and get a flamethrower.

[Groaning]

Freddy: I'll be in the well.

It's almost :.

Krebs will be here any minute.

Otis: and I'm so ready.

Peck: that's right, otis, come on, buddy.

[Animals cheering]

Yeah, I got my bags all packed and my flight leaves in two hours.

Krebs: yo, beef boy.

Aah, too late, hide me.

[Quacks]

Hang on a minute.

Where's krebs?

What do you mean, "where's krebs"?

He's standing right there.

Peck: right where?there.

You mean, uh, behind the duck?

Otis, nah, haven't seen him.

No, not behind the duck, krebs isthe duck.

[Laughter]

You're joking, right?

Otis, you got us all worked up over a little old duck?

Even I'm not afraid of that.

Hey, sugar ray loser, quack-quack.

[Laughter]

Guys, I'm telling you, he's vicious.

Look at those cold and soulless eyes.

[Laughter]

Come on, peck, let's give that duck the business.

Yeah, let's do it.

That's right, go get him.

I'll be right here enjoying the stupid.

We heard you're, uh, looking for otis.

Yeah, you know otis?

Oh, yeah, and if you want him, you gotta go through us.

Hey, look, I don't want any...

Stupid duck says what?

What?

Stupid duck says what?

What?

[Laughter]

You're in for it now, beak-face, you know why?

I'll tell you why.

Because we were the barnyard champion taunters six years running.

Look, look, guys, I just want to talk to otis.

You see, I recently...

We know you are, but what are we?

Nice. Hoo-hoo.

I'm warning you... Cut it out.

[Vocalizing]i'm warning you, cut it out.

[Vocalizing continues]

[Alarm blaring]

Hey, freddy, I think we should...

Run away!

[Screams]

Mommy!

[Gasping]

Pip: holy b*at-down.

He can't do that to our friends.

Come on, fellas.

No, don't!

He'll tear you to pieces while enumerating the parts of your body in an insulting fashion!

[Yelling, punches landing...]

Announcer: minutes later...

[Yelling, punches landing]

[Laughing]

Oh, mercy.

Come for the stupidity, stay for the butt-whupping.

I want otis!

I can't just stand here... To the well!

Aah, well!

[Screaming]

[♪...]

Hello, I'm dr. Pig with a word about bullying.

Bullying is a misdirected attempt at attention

Rooted in anger and frustration.

Aah, hey, I'm a doctor, don't hurt me, help!

Whoa!

Here's krebsy.

[Screaming]

[Distant yelling, punches landing...]

Krebs: come on... You want to mess with me?

This is what you get.

Oh, why can't I help my friends?

Why am I such a useless wimp?

Otis, otis.

Aah, fearful vision!

Who are you?

I'm you, otis, before you became a sniveling, friend-abandoning coward.

Oh, it's true, it's true.

What can I do?

I'm scared.

Your friends are scared too, but they faced the duck to protect you.

Now it's your turn to help them.

You're right, I have to stand up to krebs myself, and I will.

Yay, I'm proud of you, adult me.

Even if you are gonna get all pounded into a m*nled, pulpy, beefy mass of...

Ok, not helping anymore.

Right, bye.

[Screaming]

Ok, otis, you can do this.

I mean, how hard can dying really be?

I'm warning you, duck, I rassled gators one summer on an internship.

[Spitting]

Look, all I want is...

[Battle cry]

[Battle cry]

Abby: ouch, mercy, uncle.

...oh, stop it.

Oh, no, not abby.

Now he's gone too far.

[Grunts]

I'll ask one more time.

Where's otis?

Otis: I'm right here, krebs.

And you're done pushing my friends around.

Otis, finally.

Listen, I just want...

Have at you.

Duck sauce, spicy wings...

Otis, just listen...

Crispy beak rolls.

[Grunts]

Duck a l'orange!

Ya-ha!

Pip: otis, you did it.

Pig: awesome, otis.

Abby: so cool, otis.

[Whistling]

I did it, I faced my fear.

It's like I feel a foot taller.

Whoa...

[Grunts]

All right, beef boy.

This is where we settle the score.

No squirting, no squirting, anything but squirting, aah!

Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?

Huh?

What do you mean?

Aren't you gonna pound me into a pulp

And use my ego as a chew toy? No.

Otis...

I came here to apologize for being a jerk to you as a kid.

I've been getting help for my anger issues, and, well, I wanted to make amends.

So you didn't come here to feel the crunch of my cartilage beneath your webbed fists?

Well, I wasn't, until your stupid friends att*cked me.

What are you people, maniacs?

[Screaming]

Easy, krebs.

Deep breaths... White, sandy beach.

Otis: huh.

You want to come inside for a sandwich or something?

Nah, I gotta go apologize to a warthog across town.

Anyway, I hope we're square.

And I hope I never see you or your crazy friends again.

Good-bye.

Ok, really good seeing you.

Say, if you see any of the old g*ng, say hi for me.

Heh, good guy.

How ironical.

We thought he was the bully

But in reality he was the bully-ee... Ee.

Guys, I am so sorry to have put you all through this.

Are you mad?

Oh, it's all right.

It was worth it to see you get your self-respect back.

Yeah...

Ooh, by the way, a guinea pig who used to steal my lunch money

Is coming by around :.

I figured you guys could help me straighten him out a little bit.

That's it. Peck: get him!

[Screaming...]

Peck: never again.pip: he's getting away.

[Screaming]

[♪...]

Well, there you have it.

Everything wrapped up nicely.

And since we have some time left

I would like to perform the "william tell" overture on my jowls.

[Playing "william tell" overture]

It's happening again!

Oh, mad duck!

Not the jowls, not the jowls!

[Static crackling]

[♪...]

[Animals cheering...]

[♪...]

Animal: yee-haw.

Animal : whoo-hoo!

All right, folks, the name of the game is phizbin.

...eleventy.

All: oh!

Sorry, pig, my hybrid vehicle captures your butter churn.

Ah, crud monkeys.

My turn!

Lucky spin, lucky spin.

Lose a turn, I hate this game.

Oh, abby, and I hate that I love to win all the time.

Well, I hate that you just fell on my rat trap square.

You're toast, otis... Yes!

Sorry, challenge bell.

Everybody switch seats.

[Animals murmuring]

Abby: I'm gonna get that chair before you do.

Look out!

And I get one free roll.

Two s, that's ph-ph-phizbin.

[Murmuring]

That always happens.

That's games in a row.

It's unnatural.

And extremely annoying.

Not as annoying as the fact that I am the grand high lord of phizbin

And no animal of woman born shall ever defeat me, now or ever.

I have heard that there is a floating phizbin game in this saloon

And I wish to partake of said action.

Really?

Sweet, it's always a pleasure to welcome a new sucker.

I mean dupe, patsy, sap.

He means, uh, sap... I mean guest.

Otis, could I have a word with you, please?

Sure.

Pip: you better watch out.

That's chubs malone, the top boss of the gopher underground.

He plays for keeps.

I thought tony two cheeks was the top boss.

Not since he went on that fishing trip with chubs and never came back.

Oh, please, he probably just devoted his life to the open sea and married a mermaid.

Happens all the time.

Anyway, chubs is the one who should worry.

Phizbin's my game.

Chubs: two s, phizbin.

I win.

[Animals gasp]pig: one roll.

Wait, that was a fluke.

Ok, buddy, we're going again, and this time...

Chubs: free roll.

Phizbin.

I win again.

What are the odds?

Two games in a row?

It's the apocalypse!

Walk away, otis, while you still got your self-respect.

Or better yet, cheat.

No way, this gopher's going down.

Let us make this interesting, shall we?

If you win the next game, I will give you...

Sticky buns.

Whoa, look at that stack of sticky buns.

Peck: ooh, now you're talking.

Hold on, what do you get if you win?

My needs are simple.

I would be content with, say, oh, I don't know...

Your saloon.

Peck: what?

No deal, no deal.what a nut job.

Pip: that is loco.

You're on.

[Animals gasping]

Otis, have you been chugging expired milk?

You can't risk the saloon.

Pip, come on, I own this game.

Don't worry about a thing.

Yes!

[Bell ringing]

Uh-oh.

Challenge bell, chump.

Phizbin.

Game, set, and match.

[Animals gasping]

No sticky buns.

Sorry, otis, your saloon is now mine.

I will return tomorrow to assume ownership.

Good night, chumps.

Pig: good night!

Ha, we're the chumps?

They left the sticky buns.

Sharp pain.

Otis, how could you?

Yeah, you really broke the needle on the moron meter this time.

Yeah, you lost our saloon.i can't believe you did this.

Peck: what a nut.pip: you lost the saloon!

Guys, come on, please, there's no need to turn into an angry mob.

Let's just line up one at a time and pummel otis in an orderly fashion.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, look, look, look, I know I messed up, but I promise you it's gonna be ok.

So chubs won the saloon, big whoop.

It'll still be our beloved saloon.

I mean, how much could it possibly change?

Announcer: the very next night, this happened.

[Animals cheering]

[♪...]

Gopher: free bird!

[Animals shouting]

Wow.

Well, no change here.

Let's all return to our stalls and, uh...

Out of my way.

[Animals gasping]

Abby: the gopher grotto?

Ok, so they made a few tweaks.

Give it a chance, mingle a bit, blend in.

All: whoa!

Two honey ciders, please.

We ain't got cider, we got delicious skump.

Skump?

Uh, what the heck is skump?

Turnips and dirt with just a dash of musk gland secretion.

[Spits] wow, you can really taste the musk gland secretion.

Sure can.

Whoo-hoo, yeah!

Hey, where are all the video games?

They all been replaced with whack a gopher.

Want to play?

Heck yeah, that looks fun.ok.

Ok then, you're it!

Ow, that's my head, ow!ow, hey, not my snout, please.

Hey, hang on, what's with the tiny portions, huh?

Oh... [Chuckles] that's better.

Otis, this place stinks.

Freddy: you really blew it.

Guys, I disagree.

I love what they've done with the place.

These drinks are delicious.

[Spits]

Anyway, the food really sticks to your ribs.

[Gags, spits]

[Sighs]

Well, I'm sure the entertainment is top-notch.

And now please give it up for the comedy stylings of...

Chubs malone.

[Cheering]

Thank you, you are a wonderful audience.

But tell me, what is the deal with broccoflower?

It is neither broccoli nor is it a flower.

What is up with that?

[Laughter]

Gopher: it's like he's in my head, man.

Thank you... Is anyone here in a relationship?

It's crazy, I tell you.

You know what I'm talking about?

[Laughter]

[Audience shouting]

Freddy: um, excuse me.

Yeah, hi, um... We don't get it.

[Gophers gasping]

[Dissonant notes]

You're gonnaget it.

[Snaps]

[Animals grunting]

From now on, this is a gophers only club.

What gives you the right to boss us around?

My phizbin skills.

Oh, yeah?

Well, your face is dumb.

Ow!

Otis, you gotta do something.

Yeah, you can't let that freaky fur ball treat us like that.

What can I do, the gopher won the saloon fair and square.

Uh, otis, are these the same dice chubs used when he b*at you?

I think so, why?

[Rattling]

Hey, wait a minute.

These dice are fixed.

That gopher scammed me.

He seemed so nice.

Pip: I told you you should've cheated.

Let's go back in there and kick us some gopher booty.

Wait, there's too many of 'em, and a fight would only destroy the saloon.

No, we need some sort of a hare-brained, elaborate, complex scheme with tight outfits

Requiring split-second timing and nail-biting action.

And over-the-top high-tech gadgetry?

Otis: works for me.

Who's up for a gopher whupping?

All: yeah!

[♪...]

[Knocking]

Otis, you know you ain't allowed in here.

Yes, I understand, but surely that doesn't include

My rich out-of-town phizbin-playing friends.

Ja,i am german, umpa-umpa-umpa-pa.

Yes, less talking there.

Ok.

Give the squirrels the wheelie sneakers

And unload the tvs with our friend in pawtucket.

It's ok, tony, I can never say no to a high-stakes game of phizbin.

Enter, otis, and bring your pigeons with you.

Salty cow to digging guys, salty cow to digging guys.

Are you in position?

Roger that, salty cow.

We are directly under the phizbin table.

Otis: activate the magnet on my signal.

Salty cow out.right.

So I wonder how you work this thing.

No idea.

Chubs: ok, gents, the name of the game is phizbin.

Sticky buns per game, jokers are wild, butter churns roll first.

Fraäulein needs a new pair of lederhosen.

Salty cow to digging guys, now!

What do we do, what do we do?

I don't know, uh, press a button.

Button, button, button.

[Whimpers]

[Yells]

What the...

Uh... [Chuckles] did someone order a giant electromagnet?

I do not like being scammed.

[Whistles]

For this offense, I will put the hurt on you guys permanently.

Chubs, wait... I know you cheated us out of our saloon.

On your honor as a gopher, you owe me one fair cr*ck at winning it back.

Hmm, very well.

I cannot refuse this challenge in front of my people.

Name your terms.

Ok, one more game of phizbin with real dice.

And if I win, my friends and I go free.

And if I win?

You get the entire barnyard.

[Gasping]

You are on.

Otis, no, I can't believe you'd do such a thing.

Excuse me, have you ever metotis?

I have to do this, abby.

It was my stupid overconfidence that got us into this.

But now that it's a fair game, I could use that stupid overconfidence

To focus all my skills, all my training, into one titanic burst of...

Phizbin, I win.

[Gasping]

Oh, thanks so much, now I have no mud hole.

I gotta get a new hobby.

Boys, the barnyard is ours.

[Cheering]

Gopher: attaboy, chubby, you showed him, baby, yeah.

[Laughs] escort these losers to the nearest highway.

[Snaps]

[All talking at once]

Hey, here's the problem.

It was set on "repel" when we should've had it on "attract."

[Magnet whirring...]

Chubs, look out!

[Panting]

[Slow-motion]: no...

[Grunts]

Otis, you saved my life.

Uh, yeah, though just to be clear

It was otis's scheme that endangered your life in the first... [Groaning]

Yep, I sure saved your life, I did, no doubt about it.

I did that.

This calls for a show of gratitude immense in its bigness.

Your debts are cancelled.

The saloon is yours.

[Cheering and whistling]

I ask only one thing of you.

Name it, chubsy, old pal.

[♪...]

It was nice of you to let chubs try out new material every tuesday, otis.

Well, it's the least I could do.

You know, I really think his act is improving.

So what is the deal with iceberg lettuce?

Is it made of ice?

Do not get me started.

[Cricket chirping]

[Screams]

If you value your lives, you will laugh.

[Laughter]

Thank you, please tip your waitstaff.

[♪...]

Man: o...

[High pitch]: mation.

[♪...]