01x20 - Otis for Mayor/Dummy and Dummier

[bunniefuu]

I'm just heading to the fields, duke, I'll be back.

[Animal noises]

Clear!

[♪...]

All right!

"Rat-abunga!"

Man: ♪ from the haystacks up to the hilltops ♪

♪ We go on dancing...

[Animals cheering]

♪ ...through the night

Ow, ow, ok, ow.

Ow!

Whoo!

♪ Do-si-do your partner, now

♪ Gonna party now till the morning light ♪

♪ Do-si-do and don't you know ♪

♪ It's just the way we animals roll. ♪

Ha-ha!

Pig: ♪ one, two, three

♪ I'm your poultry man

♪ That's what I am

♪ I got a comb and beak

♪ I'm here every week

♪ Poultry man, he's a fabulous guy ♪

♪ Can't lay eggs, don't ask him why. ♪

Get down, unh!

[Music ends]

So this karaoke machine was just sitting out here unattended?

Yeah, it was.

Sounds suspicious.

Yes, it does, pip.

Oh, I wonder if it has the dance mix of "funky shack"?

Oh, I love that one.

I got a quarter.

[Laughing]

[Coin jingling]

Hey, nothing's happening.

Ah-ha!

Mrs. Beady!

Do you know "funky shack"?

You're all busted.

I've got you all on digi-beta, singing and frolicking and whatnot.

[Laughing]

And when the world finds out about you talking barn animals

You'll all be put in cages, and dissected

And paraded through the streets like the freaks you are!

Oh...

[Screaming]

Ok, who wants lunch?

I do.

Oh, me.

Yeah, good idea.

Nathan, those talking animals att*cked my face with bees.

That's terrible.

I know.

I was gonna eat them steaks.

We interrupt this program for a special report.

Our beloved mayor has been frozen solid.

He fell in the water while ice fishing.

We're mayorless, people.

Mayorless!

Nathan, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

That one day, I'll wake up screaming?

No, I'll run for mayor, and sign a decree banning

Those talking animals from the county... Forever!

Guys, guys.

I was just in town with the farmer, and you'll never guess what I saw.

Mrs. Beady is running for mayor.

Wha?

She's having a campaign rally right now.

Otis: that sounds awesome.

It does?

Yes, I've always been interested in the vast diversity of the political landscape.

Plus, we can throw stuff at her.

[All talking at once]

And that's why I say we need to get rid of talking barn animals once and for all!

Uh, should we be worried?

Please.

No one's gonna vote for that sack of fruit.

[Bird squawking]

Um, I'll also make fudge for everyone.

[All talking at once]

Nowi'm worried.

Unless...

Guys, huddle up.

[Whispering]: whisper, whisper, whisper, scheme, scheme.

I don't get what you're saying.

Announcer: moments later, this happened.

Thank you.

Nice to meet you.

Hello.

Thank you for coming out.

[♪...]

[Crowd gasping]

[Scattered conversation]

Step right up and shake hands with your new mayor, ned bovine.

Hey, thanks, freakishly tiny man.

Ned bovine's the name.

Yeah, oh, running for mayor.

Yeah, gonna be your next.

Oh, here, have a kitty.

Oh, don't be freaked out.

I don't have any fingers.

Oh, you're all beautiful.

I love babies.

Oh, here, have another kitty.

[Cat meowing]

Hey, get the kitty off me!

Folks, the name's ned bovine.

I'm a maverick candidate with fabulous hair!

But what about my exciting new ideas?

What do you people want?

Ideas, or someone who can do this?

[Grunting]

Ow, I'm a good candidate.

[Cheering and applause]

[♪...]

Get him off me, get him off me!

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

You've won this round, ned bovine, but the battle has just begun.

Otis: whatever, fudgy.

Ok, team.

If we're gonna win this thing, I'm gonna need your help.

Speechwriters, what do you got?

Well, every candidate needs a catchphrase, so how do you feel about, "wacka, wacka, doo?"

Wacka, wacka, yes!

Pollster, how are my numbers?

Well, according to my data, mrs. Beady is ahead

With red-haired women named lulabelle

But you're a lock with smelly guys with back hair.

I like it.

Press liaison, are the reporters happy?

Well, they love the bounce house you built for 'em.

[Cheering]

[News music playing]

Hilly burford, channel news, taking the pulse of an anxious electorate.

Hey, who's your candidate, fellows?

Ned bovine.

Wacka, wacka, doo.

I like the fudge lady.

No way.

I like the wacka, wacka, doo guy.

Fudge lady.

Wacka, wacka, doo.

All right.

How about that democracy?

Mrs. Beady: stop the presses!

I've just received a huge campaign donation from the inbred millionaires society.

Here to present it is j. Smellsford wigglesworth.

I've got butter in my pantaloons.

Juice those crab apples, ned bovine.

Otis: snore.

Ned bovine has something better than money

A celebrity endorsement from teen pop sensation jessica allspice.

Jessica?

Ned bovine rocks my world.

[All talking at once]

Wow.

Jessica, you look hot.

This is still anyone's race to win.

Hot.

Ok, bovine.

You want to play hardball?

Then I'm going negative.

[Static]

Man: ned bovine has nice hair, and can break boards with his head.

But did you know that he wants talking barnyard animals to raise your children?

Nora beady will put an end to the talking animal menace once and for all.

Her secret police will lock them in circus cages

And send them back to monster island where they belong.

I'm nora beady, and I'll get tough with talking animals.

And I'll make you fudge.

Lies, all lies.

Dude, you need to take this fight into the gutter.

Don't do it, otis.

Don't sink to her level.

Don't worry, abby.

I won't.

I'm going to go even lower!

That's my cow!

[Static]

Otis: nora beady, your crazy eyes and ridiculous hair

Is not what the voters need.

Why is it you can't understand this?

Well, maybe it's because...

You're not of this earth!

That's right.

Nora beady is an alien spawn from the volcanic netherworld of planet zorn

With mind control fudge to harvest your precious human organs.

It's time you tell the truth, nora.

Or should I say...

[Growling]

Mobile flesh unit "zelgrab x."

Pip: paid for by the committee to crush mrs. Beady like the alien spawn she is.

Nice work, people.

Well done.

Very solid work.

Otis, I can't believe you.

Distorting mrs. Beady's record is one thing, but you just made that alien stuff up.

I had to.

She's gonna bounce us all out of town.

Besides, she started it.

Good news, otis.

You're trending upward with crusty old hermits.

Yes!

But that commercial lost you the space alien vote.

Well, there's still a chance to win them back at tonight's debate.

Announcer: chapter seven, the debate.

Well, folks, after an arduous, two-day battle, it all comes down to tonight.

Here are your choices.

Plucky man of the people ned bovine, crackpot nora beady

And in a shocking development, a surprise third party candidate: bigfoot.

[Screaming]

What?

Bigfoot, why are you getting in this race now?

[Growling]

Bigfoot says he's shocked and sickened by the tone of the campaign.

As are we all.

Bigfoot's gonna debate you into next week.

You might as well hang it up now.

Huh?

Oopsie.

[Gasping]

My first question is for nora beady.

What's the secret of your deliciously creamy fudge?

Good people, something urgent has just come to my attention.

I've just discovered that my opponent, ned bovine, is a...

...nutjob.

[Mrs. Beady groaning]

As I was saying...

[Clearing throat]

Give me a break.

You know what?

Whoo!

My opponent is a...

[Spitting]

[Stammering]

[Gargling]

He's not a human being.

Mm, mm.

He's a talking animal!

[Crowd gasping]

A shocking accusation.

Ned bovine, how do you respond?

I don't even feel like I need to dignify that with a response.

I am not now, nor have I ever been...

[Crowd gasping]

Pie fight!

[Laughing]

[Otis and mrs. Beady both talking at once]

Time's up.

Bigfoot, you have seconds for rebuttal.

[Grunting]

[Growling...]

[Cheering and applause]

I can't believe bigfoot won.

Of course he won.

He's inspirational.

Yeah.

Plus, he can fly.

Wait a minute.

I got zero votes.

That means none of you guys even voted for me.

Uh...

[All talking at once]

Hey, wait.

That means you didn't vote for you either.

Oh, right.

Man, that bigfoot is persuasive.

Hey, guys.

Check it out.

Burford: repeat, breaking news.

We've just received this shocking footage

From bigfoot's swearing-in ceremony, minutes ago.

Do you, bigfoot, solemnly swear to uphold the office of mayor

And be of the people, by the people, and for the people?

[Bigfoot growling...]

People, please, please.

No flash photography.

[People screaming]

[Beeping]

In light of bigfoot's rampage, the original mayor

Has decided to resume his duties while he thaws out.

Good thing.

I couldn't understand bigfoot at all.

Well, guys, I think we've all learned a valuable lesson here today.

[All talking at once]

Yes, you see, by taking an active part in the political process

We've learned about tradition, civic duty, and the importance of...

[Screaming]

[Bigfoot growling]

Money.

Who wants money?

[Laughing]

Get it off me!

Wacka, wacka, doo!

[♪...]

[Vocalizing...]

[Cheering and applause]

All right, how about that?

Who says pork can't dance.

[Laughter]

Next up is freddy.

The ferret?

I didn't know crazy was a talent.

[Laughter]

Give it up for freddy.

I can't do it, otis.

They're laughing even before I'm on stage.

They're not laughing at you.

They're laughing becauseof you.

What?

I'm not sure.

Hey, break a leg.

[Scattered applause]

[Clearing throat]

Um, I will now dislocate all of my bones before your very eyes.

[Crowd groaning...]

Ta-da!

[Crowd booing...]

You know, freddy, lots of cultures consider rotten fruit a delicacy.

Oh, I should have known better than to think I was talented like you guys.

Don't look at me.

Poor freddy.

His only talent is making people throw up.

Guys, we got to help freddy find a talent.

But what?

What, I ask you?

Hey, dummy.

Dummy?

Hm...

[Wheels creaking]

Nah, I got nothin'.

Peck: wait a minute.

What if we get freddy a ventriloquist dummy?

With his multiple personalities, he'd be a natural.

Ventriloquism, that's perfect.

To the rainy day craft box!

We can make the dummy from this fallen tree.

Great idea.

Then no living thing will be harmed.

[Saw buzzing]

Today, we usher in a new era for all termite-kind.

[Cheering]

[Saw buzzing]

Termite: run away!

It's the end of everything!

[Scattered commotion]

Announcer: later that day.

Behold.

It is done.

[Animals talking at once]

[Sighing]

Hey.

What are you doing?

Something talented, no doubt.

Actually, freddy, we were just making you... This!

It's a ventriloquist dummy, for talent night.

But I'm a talentless loser.

You really think I can do ventriloquism?

[All talking at once]

Wow, thanks.

I'm gonna learn how to throw my voice, write minutes of gut-busting material

Become a show biz legend, experience the hollowness

Of fame, have several nervous breakdowns, and end up in the trash bin of history.

Aw, look how happy he is.

We did a good thing.

I like us.

[Belching]

[Cheering and applause]

Folks, we've got a lot of great talent for you tonight.

But before we get to it, please welcome freddy and mr. Jinx.

Thank you, thank you.

Well, mr. Jinx, how are you tonight?

Pretty good, thanks.

Good.

Now say that again while I drink water.

[Gurgling and gagging]

Otis: bravo!

Bravissimo!

Amazing!

Otis, he's not good.

You want him to dislocate his bones again?

Laugh it up.

[Laughing]

So, mr. Jinx, what's the hardest part about being a dummy?

Why don't you ask your pal otis?

He's the biggest moron I know.

[Laughter]

Huh?

But, I didn't...

Hey, peck, some tree fungus just called.

It wants its personality back.

[Laughter]

[Spitting]

Why did the tubby, disgusting loser cross the road?

To get away from pig.

[Laughter]

Freddy: guys, wait.

I didn't say those things.

Mr. Jinx did.

He has a mind of his own.

Freddy, we made that dummy to help you out

Not so you could sucker-punch us in the shame gland.

Yeah, if you've got a problem with us, say it to our faces.

Your faces are the problem.

[Mr. Jinx laughing]

Nice.

Come on, guys.

Let's leave mr. "Mchurtsalot" alone.

Maybe mr. Jinx cantalk.

Maybe I have a split personality.

Don't be ridiculous.

You don't have a split personality.

Well, if you don't believe me, ask the dummy.

Fine, let's ask the dummy.

[Gasping]

Huh?

Mr. Jinx, what are you doing?

Back off, ferret.

[Gasping]

You cantalk.

Oh, yeah.

And that's not all I can do.

[Electronic beeping]

[Gasping]

Freddy: otis!

Huh?

[Screaming]

Unexpected anvil!

[Crashing]

Otis, are you ok.?

Freddy, what's the big idea?

You could've k*lled me!

It wasn't me.

Mr. Jinx did it.

Oh, really?

Interesting.

Well, perhaps mr. Jinx would like to meet my hoof puppet, señorpopo.

[High-pitched voice]: hi, I'm señorpopo

And if you ever throw an anvil at otis's head again, he'll mess you up.

[Gasping]

Otis, your hoof puppet has a mind of its own too.

[Grunting]

Hey, look.

Not-crazy people.

My favorite kind.

Feelin' a bit stressed, otis?

Pig's new mud jacuzzi'll fix you right up.

Oh, this is amazing.

Hey, pigster, how do you make all these bubbles?

Oh, it's, uh, kind of technical.

I don't want to bore you.

Hey, pip, toss me another cabbage burrito.

Oh, I heard the best joke yesterday.

Ok, it seems these two german businessmen...

[Continuing indistinctly]

Dummies can't talk.

Dummies can't talk.

Dummies can't talk.

Hi, mr. Jinx.

Oh, hey, freddy.

Check it out.

I'm pouring cement into your friend's hot tub.

It's nice to have hobbies.

I wish...

Hey!

[Gasping]

Stop it!

Ow!

I mean it!

Hey, that's freddy's voice.

Freddy, freddy...

Oh, you mean the violently psychotic weasel.

I'll go check it out.

What the...?

I'm stuck.

What?

That's impossible.

Hey, what's this?

Looks like it leads to a....

Otis: cement mixer!

[All talking at once]

I'll save you guys.

[Scattered conversation...]

[Laughing]

Are you guys ok?

[All talking at once]

Otis: guys, please.

Freddy's obviously working through some difficult issues.

He needs our patience and friendship in order to...

Bag him and throw him in the silo!

[All talking at once]

Relax, freddy.

You're our friend, and nothing will ever change that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go vote

On whether or not to banish you from the barnyard forever.

But, otis.

As long as mr. Jinx is free, you're still in danger.

Whatever, crazy brain.

[Grunting]

Mr. Jinx: well, well, well.[Gasping]

If it isn't my old partner freddy.

Freddy: you.

Too bad you're gonna miss the show.

You mean...?

Mr. Jinx: that's right.

You're gonna do our act without me?

Well, don't forget to use those "yo' mama" jokes.

They're gold.

I'm not gonna do our act.

I'm gonna get rid of your friends, once and for all.

[Laughing]

I knew that.

Tonight, this tribal council will decide whether freddy stays or goes.

It is time to vote.

Dude, we knew you were nuts, but come on.

I'm still pickin' cement out of my hair.

Sorry it had to end like this, freddy.

I was going to vote for you to stay, but then I started thinking about gravy.

Mm, gravy.

[Freddy grunting]

Freddy: oh, it's no use.

None of this would've happened if I'd only had a talent.

[Gasping]

Wait a minute.

[Grunting]

[Crashing]

I did it.

Here I come, guys!

[Crashing]

Ow.

I will now tally the votes.

[Screaming]

Abby: hey, what's going on?

You're mine now, cold cuts.

[All gasping]

Mr. Jinx?

Freddy wastelling the truth.

Yeah, thanks for not believing the little guy.

By the way, that net you're under is copper mesh.

Once I touch it to this wire from the electric fence, you're all fried.

Uh, can we have a vote on that?

[All talking at once]

Get away from my friends!

[Screaming]

[All talking at once]

Anybody else smell bacon?

Peck: you did it, buddy.

Freddy, I am so sorry I didn't believe you.

Can you ever forgive me?

[All talking at once]

Aw, I forgive you guys.

I'm all about friendship and forgiving.

Take mr. Jinx to the bonfire.

[All screaming]

It's crackin' apart.

[Scattered conversation]

Termites?

They were controlling the dummy all along.

But why, termites?

What did we ever do to you?

Termite: hello.

The tree you made the dummy from was our home.

When you destroyed it, we vowed vengeance.

Awkward.

Still, did you have to go on a psychopathic rampage?

That is so inappropriate.

Yeah, you're right.

We went too far, but you know.

All right, come on.

Let's go find you a new tree.

Then maybe things around here can get back to normal.

So the platypus says, "at these prices, you won't get many more."

[Laughter]

Boy, these ear plugs are great.

I can't hear a word he's saying.

What?

I said these ear plugs are great.

No, I won't date your grandmother.

What?

I won't date pig's grandma.

Thanks, I'm using a new shampoo.

What?

I also enjoy monkeys.

[♪...]

Man: o...

[High-pitched voice]: mation.

[♪...]