01x26 - Adventures in Snotty Sitting/Cowdyshack

[bunniefuu]

I'm just heading to the fields, duke.

I'll be back.

[Engine rumbling]

Clear.

[Rocking square dance music]

All right.

♪

Ratabunga.

♪ From the haystacks

♪ Up to the hilltops

♪ We're going dancing...

Whoo-hoo.

Ow. Ow.

Okay, ow. Ow.

♪ Do-si-do your partner now

♪ There's a party till the morning light ♪

♪ Do-si-do

♪ And don't you know

♪ It's just the way we animals roll ♪

[Motorcycle engine revving]

Ah-ha.

Grab that bushel of rutabagas.

Watch out for the carnivorous wheelbarrow.

Who knew the farmer liked video games?

Don't let him fool ya, pip.

The guy may be quiet and boring on the outside,

But on the inside, he's quiet and boring

And likes video games.

Yes!

All: aaah!

That's less than ideal.

Otis, you broke the farmer's game cartridge.

It was the only pleasure he had

In his horrid little life.

All right, let's all stay calm.

All we have to do is buy him a replacement.

But those things cost over $.

Where we gonna get that kind of money?

Well, there is this conveniently placed ad.

"Experienced babysitter." Uh-huh, uh-huh.

"Wanted." Okay, okay.

"$ Per evening"?

Well, that worked out well.

Hey, that's almost enough.

Otis, now, listen up.

Babysittin' a human child

Requires patience, compassion, and a lot of hard work.

Which is why you're all coming with me.

What? No way.

Children smell.

They're like tiny little devils.

Guys, we have to replace that cartridge

That someone broke.

Maybe he won't notice we broke it.

[expl*si*n] aaaah!

I'll go get my british nanny disguise.

Right behind ya. Me too.

Sounds like a plan.

[Knocking]

Now, remember:

We're a cr*ck team of british babysitters.

Right, right. Tally-ho.

Uh, otis, are you sure this is the right place?

Yeah, I'm sure. Crackertoe drive.

Why does that address sound so familiar?

Oh, cud.

Hello! All: aaaaah!

What is going--

Otis, this is mrs. Beady's house.

That means we're babysitting snotty boy.

Guys, I know he's evil, but we need this job.

We can take him if we all work together.

Now man up.

[In british accent] good evening, my pointy-faced woman.

We're the rent-a-nannies,

And we're supercalafraja-happy to meet you.

I'm nanny otis.

This is nanny peck, nanny abby,

Nanny...piglike person, and nanny freddy.

Delighted. How ja do, luv?

Please, sir, may I have some more?

This won't end well...mum.

Hold on.

I'm not going to trust my precious little nephew

To just anyone.

How do I know you're qualified?

Well, because, erm, we can sing.

Yes, that's it. Nannies?

♪ Ooooooooh....

Thwack! Oh, my skull!

Incoming! Look out!

Cover your head!

Gah, stupid singing babysitters.

This is gonna be fun.

Well, you've certainly established

A nurturing comfort level with little eugene.

You've got the job.

No!

They mean, "no doubt it will be

A magical, fun-filled evening of magicalness."

Thwack! Ooh!

We'll be home at :. Follow this list exactly.

Eugene is to be fed, bathed, and in bed asleep

By the time we get home.

Oh, your rotund little cherub will be safe with us.

Chomp! [Screams]

Oh, you terribly awesome child.

Bye, sweetie.

Hurry, nathan.

Date night only comes once a year.

I'd rather stay home and be tormented by the boy.

[Door slams]

Well, well.

Five little flies for the spider.

Ha, ha!

Now, eugene.

I'm sure that we're going to have a lovely--

Zip it, lady.

You, let's play a game.

The rest of you, make my dinner!

[Whispers] otis, I'm scared.

Stay frosty.

Don't let him near your fingers. I'll be right back.

Guys, let's start dinner.

We got to make this look legit, or we don't get paid.

Otis, we can't leave abby alone with freak of nature.

She's been with him for, like, a second.

What could happen? [Abby shrieks]

You're a nanny pinata.

Only instead of candy, you're filled with fear.

Ha, ha, ha!

[Shrieks] stop!

I'm gonna tell auntie you stink at your job.

Oh by the way, there's something missing.

What is it? Hmm...

Oh, that's right: my dinner!

Pig, follow it to the kitchen and put food in it.

Otis, I'm allergic to bludgeoning.

I have to check on abby. Go.

Hey, where's my little cowboy?

Chuck wagon's here. Thwack!

Didn't feel a thing.

Thwack!

Ha, ha! Is that all you got, nanny?

Is that all you got?

Not in the belly. Not in the belly.

Aw, don't be upset.

Would you like to share my noodle casserole?

I couldn't. That's your dinner,

Hey, that looks pretty good.

Abby, you were upside down for a long time.

Are you okay?

[Coughs] topsy, little eva.

There's a twister comin'.

I think she sounds better.

[Screams]

It's pig.

[All gasp]

No... [Belches]

I put fizzy rocks in her stupid noodle casserole.

Now she's going to explode.

[Belches] ha, ha, ha!

[Belches] it is my bath time.

Who wants to scrub me down?

[Snickers]

Mrs. Beady'll notice if he's dirty.

Soap him up and hose him down, stat.

Otis, don't send us up there alone.

I got to pump pig's stomach,

So suck it up,

And I'll be there as soon as I can.

You're gonna be fine, buddy.

Just think about the bahamas.

Scrub, lamies.

We're loofahing as hard as we can.

Yeah, the toe jam's really caked in.

Now it's time for german u-boat.

[Together] german u-boat?

German u-boat.

Achtung,lamies.

Maybe if we ignore him, he'll stay under.

Mayday! Mayday!

It's not working.

Don't worry. I'm on it.

[Belches]

Mmm, is there any more casserole?

Otis, look at the clock.

Freddy and peck have been in there for a long time.

Sweet cheese, you're right. Come on.

Dive! Dive! Dive!

[Sputtering]

No!

I don't feel very fresh.

Ha, ha!

Four stupid nannies down...

One big one to go.

[Snickers]

I'll handle the demon spawn.

Pip, you give freddy and peck cardiopulminary resuscitation.

What?

Put your mouth on their mouth.

I'm going with you.

Eugene? Time to get into your jammies.

Thwack!

You're the most pathetic nanny of all.

Ha!

Taking care of kids is hard.

But so rewarding-- $ worth of rewarding.

Come on.

[Insane giggling]

Eugene, now, you get back here.

I've got some nice powdered sugar for you.

Thwack!

You've entered a world of pain now, old woman.

I'll let you watch extra telebox.

Thud!

♪ You've got a contusion.

Ha, ha, ha!

That's it!

I order you to get in that house.

As if.

Gnome.

Thud!

Otis, give it up. It's over.

End of story.

Story. Of course.

Pip, head back to snotty's room and...

[Whispering] uh-huh.

[Grinding]

Okay, eugene. That's it.

I'm done. You're too much for me.

I quit!

You can't quit.

I'm not finished with you.

No, I've failed as a babysitter.

Too bad.

And I was going to tell you

Such a wonderful, wonderful bedtime story.

Hah!

Like I'd ever care about your lame-o stories.

Oh, I know. I know.

You're much too clever to be amused by a tale of...

Space boy and the snot bots of planet stupid!

[Gasps] I mean, hah!

That's a dumb title.

Yes, and the part where the snot bots

Remove space boy's head is even dumber.

Well, good night.

You're a lousy storyteller.

How could the brave space boy live without his stupid head?

Oh, I don't know.

Perhaps because he was really one of the....

Walking dead!

[Gasps] aah!

I thought so.

Several buckets of guts later,

It looked like the snot bots had finally triumphed.

Wait, what happened then?

Tell me, old woman! Tell me!

Yes, it's true. I am old.

Then suddenly, the snot bots cringed in fear.

Why, they'd forgotten all about space boy's disgusto ray.

Hah! I knew it.

Stupid robots.

Then, at the last second...

Oh, gracious, your auntie will be home in one minute.

No time to finish the story.

No, please, nanny otis.

You have to finish the story.

Please, nanny otis. Tell me.

No, tell me. Tell me.

Oh, all right.

How can I resist such angelic pleas?

Where was i?

Oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, yes.

Space boy set his disgusto ray on putrefy.

And then...

Yeah?

Come closer, and I'll tell you.

I...i love you, nanny otis.

And nanny otis loves you too.

Get him!

Ow! My stupid head!

Good work, pip. Help me get him into bed.

Oh, no. Mrs. Beady's home.

[Moaning]

Oh, I knew I shouldn't have trusted those nannies.

Tut-tut. Not to worry.

Eugene was a bit rambunctious, but he was a joy nonetheless.

Well, I'll just see that for myself.

Well, I see he's been fed.

Of course.

And he's had his bath.

Not bad.

Yes, we washed everywhere.

Nathan, give this wonderful woman $.

Oh, but that's my bait and tackle money.

Pay her!

[Groans]

Oh, my, thank you so much.

Well, as we say in british land,

Bite me.

I guess some people just have a way with children.

My little angel.

Let me tuck you in more snugly.

Huh?

[Muffled cries]

[Screams]

Another satisfied customer.

Hey freddy, you smell like a toilet.

You say it like it's a bad thing.

♪ Golfing, yeah, we love to golf ♪

♪ We're gonna go golfing

♪ We love our golfing

♪ Golfing, we love to golf ♪

♪ We're going golf, golf, golf, golf, golfing! ♪

Status report, agent freddy.

We're nine miles from our destination.

What?

Try turning the binoculars around.

Oh. Hey, we're here!

Okay, people. Like we practiced.

Serpentine.

Now to use the secret signal

To summon my contact inside the golf club.

Hey, crazy louie!

Hey, guys. Come on in.

Hey, otis, aren't you worried

About walking and talking in front of this guy?

Don't worry.

That's my buddy, crazy louie.

He's a little, uh...

♪ I like eggs! I like eggs! ♪

♪ I like eggs! I like eggs! ♪

Crazy?

I was gonna say, "stark-raving gazonkers."

Thanks for sneaking us in, louie.

Have a ding-dang doopity day!

Off the tree, careening off the approaching eagle,

And into the hole.

Otis, you are such a show-off.

That's not true.

Now I'm showing off.

Oh! Idiot!

Incredible. How's he do it?

He's a machine. Please, please.

Hold your applause

Until after I've kicked your butts.

Oooh. Me next. Me next.

You promised you'd show me how to play.

Okay, pig.

First, empty your mind.

Done. That was easy.

Now, become one with the ball.

Feel the ball. Be the ball.

No, don't eat the ball.

Sorry.

Now breathe through your eyes.

Clench your butt.

Now listen for the voice within

Quietly telling you to...

Swiiiiing! Yaaahhh!

Oh!

[All gasp]

Louie, speak to me.

My appendix.

How will I process enzymes

And convert them into simple sugars?

How do you know it's your appendix?

Well, if you'll look at this x-ray,

You'll see that my appendix--that's this--

Was on its last legs, so to speak.

The doc said I'd be fine

As long as no one hit it with a golf club.

Aah!

It's okay, though. I've lived a rich and full life.

Guys, we gotta get crazy louie a new appendix.

But how? How?

Otis, did you see that sign?

What sign? What are you talking about?

Right there. What? Where?

Move your head this way. Huh?

No, to the left. I don't see anything.

Now that way. I'm not getting it.

Hey, look.

The th annual appendix classic.

First prize: one appendix.

Weird, yet convenient. Hang in there, louie.

I'm gonna win that new appendix for you.

You're a good friend, otis.

But hurry.

My endocrine system is breaking down

On a cellular level.

Hi, folks.

Hilly burford here at the appendix golf classic

With -time champ judge beauregard beaumont xvii.

What's your secret, judge?

Well, hilly, I repress my emotions

And play the game with humorless decorum.

Well, it must be workin'.

You seem to have scared off all the competition.

♪ Rock the house, blow the roof off ♪

♪ Rock the house, blow the roof off ♪

Okay, people, let's get this party started.

Hey, oldie. Have a pineapple slushy.

Just who do you think you are?

Uh, we're not animals.

That's enough talking with your mouth.

No one likes a chatty caddy.

Heifer woods is the name; golf's my game.

Hey, get a load of this fella--ow.

Well, everybody, I've got two words for ya...

Game on.

Freddy, why do you keep driving in reverse?

Well, this cart's confusing.

There's so many buttons.

Abby? How's our patient?

Hurry, otis. He's gettin' worse.

I think he's delusional.

I am the mayor of buttertown.

All rise for the national anthem.

♪ Oh, buttertown, thy creamy streets of gold ♪

[Whispering] I don't think he is the mayor of buttertown.

Just keep him alive, abby. Alive!

Okay, more golf.

All: ahhh...

And there's a beauty of a drive from judge beaumont.

Top that, you buffoon.

A delicious sh*t, your magistrate.

Tastier then some kind of meat pie.

Well, caddy, what do you think?

My finger tastes like pancakes.

Seven-iron it is.

One, two, three... Golf sh*t.

Ow, my spleen!

In your face, mr. Fancy mcpoopsalot.

♪ Golfing, yeah, we love to golf ♪

♪ We're gonna go golfing

♪ We love our golfing

♪ Golfing, we love to golf ♪

♪ We're going golf, golf, golf, golf, golfing! ♪

[Groans]

Well, all right.

Heifer woods moves into the lead.

That's what I call golf.

That classless upstart ruffian needs to be stopped.

[Winding]

[Ticking]

Look, a horde of angry pygmies.

What? Where? Get 'em away from me.

They're cow eaters-- not that I'm a cow,

But if I were, they'd eat me.

Oh, my bad. Just a squirrel.

[Whispering] otis, they switched the balls.

Yours is ticking. Interesting.

Oops, I missed. Darn it, missed again.

That's a miss... Oops, I missed.

Oh, boy, missed again. I am not good today.

Wow, I can't seem to catch a break.

Oh, for crying out loud. No!

Like this.

[expl*si*n]

I like pie.

Hilly burford at the ninth hole,

Where crowd-pleasing newcomer heifer woods

Has taken a sizable lead.

Tough break, heifer.

I guess you lose a sh*t. [Chuckles haughtily]

Caddy?

I recommend one of those golf sticks

And the s diving suit.

Folks, this is astounding.

Heifer woods has decided to make his sh*t

From the bottom of a pond.

[Cheering]

How could you allow this to happen?

At least nothing exploded this time.

[expl*si*n]

I stand corrected.

Wow, didn't see that coming.

To the green! Yaaah!

I hate that guy.

Then at the th hole, this happened.

That's the one. Sweet.

You stuck it.

[Cell phone rings] yello?

Otis, hurry up and win that appendix.

Crazy louie's fadin' fast.

I see a bright light.

So warm and full of love.

Nope, now it's gone. Oh, it's back again.

It's gone. Back again.

Tell louie I'm strokes up.

His new appendix is in the bag.

Hey, peck.

I finally figured out how to make the cart go forward.

Really? That's great, fre--hey, now!

Crash!

Sorry, otis.

A shocking development.

Heifer woods has been run over by his own golf cart.

What's up with that?

Body smushed...

Pain large...

Can't play.

Did you hear that? He forfeits.

That means I win.

Now, hold on there, judge.

According to the rules...

[Snoring]

Here we go-- no, that's the wrong page.

"In the event of a cart-related mishap,

A player's caddy can finish the game for him."

Me? No way. Uh-uh.

Pig, come on. You can do this.

I'm up by strokes.

Just sink this putt, play the th hole,

And we are done.

I don't know.

Do it for louie. For louie!

I'm fadin' fast. Goodbye, world.

Aah, what the heck. I'll give it a go.

That's my pig. That's my pig.

Do over.

Just warming up.

One more.

Oopsie.

This is harder than it looks.

Putts later...

Ooh, close one.

Oh, please, pig.

Come on.

You're k*lling me here. Just sink it already.

Yes! I'm the man.

Pig, you just wiped out a -stroke lead.

And that's... Bad.

Bad, right.

[Chuckles]

And with that spectacular sh*t on the th hole,

It's a tie ball game.

It's over. Poor crazy louie.

He was so young and full of simple sugars.

Otis, let's just give up. I stink.

Pig, a hole-in-one will win this for us.

A hole-in-one? Are you crazy?

Listen to me.

The zen of golf is alive deep inside you,

Yearning to burst free.

Remember, "feel the ball, be the ball."

Otis, I can't. You have to!

Okay, I'll try.

Smack the ball, right?

No. Eat the ball.

No, um, what was it again?

Breathe through your butt?

D'oh!

[Mystical sitar music]

♪

Hey, baby, you got beaned on the noggin but good.

Feel that ball.

Be the ball, piggy.

Be the ball, little piggy.

Oh, I gots to go.

There's a rainbow in my noggin.

I am the ball.

I am the ball.

Oh, he's in the zone.

Now steady, swiiiiing!

Yaaaaahhh!

Ow!

Oh, my. Oh, my.

Yes, yes, yes.

No, no, no.

[Cheers and applause]

Yay!

Sweet crabapples,

That ball is a hole-in-one.

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

Oh!

♪ Golfing, we love to golf ♪

Hey, louie.

We came by to see how you're doing.

How's that new appendix working for you?

Oh, hey, guys.

Funny story about the appendix.

Turns out it's a totally useless organ,

So I sold it and used the money to buy extra thumbs.

Aahh!

Hey, look at me.

I'm extra thumb man.

♪ Oh, buttertown

♪ We raise our thumbs on high

Who wants to wrestle? Aaahh!

Hey, where you goin'?

We ain't wrestled yet. Don't be scared.