03x12 - I See London, I See France/The Fat Lands

[bunniefuu]

(Buzzing )

(Rattling )

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

(Whistling and buzzing )

(Splat! )

(Screaming )

♪ Rocko's modern life.

Rocko's modern life.

That was a hoot!

Rocko (reading ): "from the moment he first laid eyes on agnes

"Really, really big man knew it was love at first sight.

"Oh, agnes, to prove my love for you

"I would swim the highest mountain.

"Or climb the deepest sea

"I'd even put on this chicken suit

"And dance the tango

In a vat of egg salad to show my love for you"?

You've got to be joking!

That's just stupid.

I'd never do anything crazy to impress a woman.

(Rings )

(Clears throat )

Hi! I'd like to buy this week's issue of

Roller derby women from planet

Featuring twinkie, the wonder worm.

Sure.

(Hemming and hawing )

Hello?

Are you okay?

(Stammering )

Well... Here's my money.

I'll just, uh, leave it on the counter.

Well, thanks.

Bye, now.

(Bell rings )

Hi, sheila.

Hi, heff.

Bye, sheila.

Bye, heff.

Bye, bye.

Bye, bye... Bye, now.

(Babbling )

What's up?

Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.

Rocko?

Hey, are you

In some kind of trance or something?

Rocko?

Snap out of it!

Oh, no!

He looks love-struck!

Bye, bye, bye.

Bye, bye, bye...

(Coughing, gagging )

Wow, you were really out of it.

Heff, that dream on wheels?

You know her?

Who, sheila?

Sure, I know her.

She's one of the regulars down at the roll-o-dome.

I didn't know you were into roller skating.

(Crashing )

Oh, yeah

I'm into a lot of stuff that you don't know about.

Kilt tossing...

Rat curling...

Skunk mining...

Gee, how interesting, say...

Could you introduce me to sheila?

Well, sure, but...

Oh, I get it!

Rocko's in love!

I am not!

♪ Rocko loves sheila

♪ Rocko and sheila

♪ Sitting in a tree...

Kissing!

Heffer!

Oops. Sorry.

If you want to meet her

You should come down to the rink with me.

Gee, heff, I've never roller skated before.

I'd look like an idiot.

I can teach you.

It'd be a hoot!

Heffer: you'll have a swell time.

Skating is a lot more hip than most people realize.

Hey, king.

Hi, wendell. Two, please.

"King"?

That's what they call me here.

Welcome to my domain.

It's the king, wow!

Oh, he's so graceful!

It's the king! It's really him.

Gee, mr. Roller skating king, may I have your royal signature?

Well, these rental skates seem very nice.

I'm a wallaby on wheels.

Terrific!

Oof!

This is going to be harder than I thought.

You'll do better when we get on the rink.

Okay, all skate.

Try not to flail so much.

Now backwards.

Be the skates, rock.

Skate on your hands.

Try to get all five of your stomachs

Evenly distributed over the skates.

Skate on your nose.

(Muffled ): put your nostrils into it.

Skate all willy-nilly like an idiot.

Now you're getting it!

Don't worry, rock.

You're doing pretty good for a first time.

I just want to look cool on these before sheila sees me.

Hi, sheila.

Who's your friend?

That's rocko.

Hi, rocko.

Nice to meet you.

What are you doing down there?

Oh. Heh, heh.

I was, um, heh-heh, exercising.

, ...

Attention, skaters.

This next skate is a sadie hawkins

So it's ladies' choice.

Hey, rocko, would you like to skate with me?

Uh, me?

Well, i, uh...

Heh-heh.

He'd love to!

Wha...?

But first we got to go to the bathroom.

But I don't have to go to the...

Yes, you do.

Gee, rocko, you're a smooth skater.

Thanks. You're great, too.

It's like your skates don't even touch the ground.

Heh-heh. Yeah.

Deejay: ladies and gentlemen

Please clear the floor for our spotlight show.

Here, I'll be back in a minute.

For your viewing pleasure

We are pleased to present the skate stylings

Of the king!

(Cheering, girls screaming )

("Blue danube" waltz playing )

That's him, it's him.

Oh, see how graceful he is on those wheels!

(Cheering continues )

("Blue danube" continues )

He's terrific!

("Blue danube" ends, crowd cheers )

(Disco music begins )

(Crowd cheering )

(Hard-driving rock tune )

(Rock music continues )

Wow! Look at him go!

Isn't that impressive?

Well, it's not that impressive, I mean... I could do that.

Yeah! I could even do better.

Excuse me, sir.

What's the most impressive skating trick you've got?

That'd be the obstacle course.

Well, I'd like to try it!

Okay.

(Whirring, humming )

(Clanking )

Wow, that looks way too dangerous.

But I can't back out now.

What would sheila think?

Oh, what should I do?

Announcer: it's the heart against the brain

Ladies and gentlemen!

In the red corner, representing emotions and infatuation

Rocko's heart!

In the gray corner

Fighting for logic and self-preservation

Rocko's brain!

(Bell rings )

And there's the bell!

It's a knockout, ladies and gentlemen!

Emotions win over self-preservation.

(Screeches to halt )

Nice routine, heff.

Thanks. Where's rocko?

He's going to do the obstacle course.

What?!

Maybe I could just go back down the ladder.

Wait... Why am I moving?

Heff: way to go, rock!

Oh, no!

He can't stop!

And it's downhill all the way to the o-town bottomless pit!

Programs!

Can't tell the bottomless pit

From a hole in the ground

Without your program!

I've got to save him.

Rocko?

Give me your hand.

Now, now, just let me do all the work.

Heff! Hurry!

There's road construction ahead!

Not yet!

Heff!

Wow! That was close.

Oh, no! Heff's out of control!

I've got to stop him!

Excuse me, could I borrow your jackhammer?

Sure, little fella.

Do you know how to use it?

Doi know how to use it?!

Wow! He's good.

Heff, wake up!

Well, that's not going to work.

Well, that was close.

Rocko, that was wonderful!

You saved heff!

Well, heh, he saved me first.

Look, sheila, I have a confession to make.

I'm not really a good skater.

The truth is, I just wanted to impress you.

You're a nice guy, rocko.

That's what impresses me.

I will say this, though.

You sure know how to handle a jackhammer.

Thanks. It's a hobby.

Are you interested in jackhammering?

Hey! I'm sitting on top of the world!

(Laughing )

Top of the world, ma!

(Laughing )

(Cracking )

(Screaming )

(Heff screaming ) oh, yes.

Could you teach me?

It would be my pleasure.

Hop on!

(Heff continues screaming )

There's a nice rock quarry just a few blocks from here

Where the cutters make their living.

But they'll let us jump around there.

(Heff catches breath )

(Resumes screaming )

[Captioning sponsored by the u.s. Department of education]

Oscar, oscar, oscar.

Get out of my life, felix.

Hey, mom and dad.

Wow, what a workout.

Heffer, there's something

Your father wants to talk to you about.

Yeah, mom, after dinner.

Dear, don't you think you should say something?

I'll talk to him later.

♪ Dum, dum, dum

Hey!

Hey, bub, coming through.

Huh?

Oh, honey, it's beautiful.

Well, sugarplum, it will be

After we put a little work into it.

Right, kids?

Sure thing, daddy.

Mom, dad!

Vermin!

There's vermin in my room!

Yeah, yeah, they signed a lease.

Signed a lease?

Understand, son...

All right, everybody listen up and listen good.

I have been laid off.

Times are tough.

This family will have to make sacrifices.

Son, you're just not pulling your weight around here

So we rented your room.

But, dad...

Don't have a cow.

Your mom fixed up the tree house for you.

Peter, get me another soda.

Guess this will be okay.

I had some good times

Up there all by myself.

Smaller than I remember it.

♪ Be it ever so...

(Wood cracking )

(Screaming )

Ow.

(Doorbell ringing )

Rocko: oh, ow!

Sorry, spunky.

Rocko!

Blazes, hef, it's : in the morning.

:, Actually.

Ooh, leftover pizza crust.

Hef, what's going on?

Well, my parents rented my room.

That's a tough break.

I'm hitting the road.

Would it be cool if I stayed here a couple of days?

Mm...okay.

You can sleep on the couch.

Thanks, rock.

Good night, hef.

(Yawning )

Now listen here, tanker tush.

You can park your thunder cheeks in someone else's face

'Cause I deserve better than this.

Say-o-na-ra, butterball.

Rocko...

Rocko.

What in the..?

Hef, what now?

Your couch ran away.

Can I sleep with you?

Okay, but just for tonight.

Ya-hoo!

Sleep overs!

Oh, well, I guess this will have to do.

(Snoring )

(Snoring grows louder )

Man: man alive, somebody's dying.

What's that noise?

(Snoring stops )

(Snoring resumes )

I knew this would come in handy.

(Electrical crackling )

Blazes.

Mm.

Sheila?

(Alarm ringing )

Nothing like a good night's sleep.

I had this wild dream.

Electric eels were biting my butt.

Time for my beauty bath.

(Water running )

(Heffer singing off-key )

Ah, nothing like a hot shower to start the day.

Bathroom's all yours.

(Coughing )

(Screaming )

T-t-t-towel.

Ugh!

It's a night... Nightmare.

Must get d-d-d-dry.

(Screaming )

(Rock music blaring )

Hey, rocko.

What have you done?

Pretty cool, huh?

Gave all your dull old stuff to charity.

You...

Thank me over dinner.

I made us

My specialty.

The heffer deluxe.

Hef, this is bonza.

What's in it?

Well, let's see...

There's pickled banana shavings, gym socks

Canned haggis, beetle bladders

Real processed head cheese, saltpeter

Reconstituted corn sweat

The finest barley and hops...

Now where was i?

Potash, sulphur, monosodium glutamate

And vegetable cartilage as a binding agent.

Eh, eh, no dessert until you finish your meal.

Voila! Now, time for dessert.

Hey, this smells delicious.

What is it?

Heffer souffle

A la flambe.

(Phone ringing )

Don't get up.

It's probably for me.

Hey, I did dinner, so you do the dishes.

Mom?

Yes, it's me.

You want me home?

Extra meals?

Wow!

The fact is, mom, my new home is here with rocko.

I'm going to stay forever...

And ever and ever...

(Snoring )

Hef?

Hef?

There you are.

Hey, rocko.

Boy, hef...

You're, you're...

Naked.

Hef, wait!

Where do you think you're going, bub?

Out into my backyard.

Not like that, you're not.

Oh, yeah?

Out of my way.

Oh, cobblers!

Crikey!

What's going on?

Nice buick.

Hef...

What's going on?

Rocko, living here has allowed me

To explore new facets of my personality.

I am a nudist.

Bev, I can't believe it!

Do you know what that weirdo next door is up to?

Oh, shut up and mind your own business, ed.

Bev, they're, well...

Nude!

Oh, ed, you're right.

Oh, yes! This is disgusting!

Quick, ed, get the telescope out of the hall closet.

I want all you nudists out of here this instant.

And stay out.

At least I have my dignity.

Heffer, you listen, and you listen good.

This is my house

And you've taken advantage of my hospitality

For the last time...

Heffer: oh, boy, am I hungry.

Gee, he sounds a little angry.

Maybe I should tell him now.

Hef, are you listening to me?

Uh...no.

Sorry, rock, but there's something I need to tell you.

Now don't take this personally, but I've come to the conclusion

That you're just too difficult to live with.

What?

Rocko, I hope

You're not disappointed.

We're still friends, aren't we?

We'll always be friends.

A-ha!

Dad?

I knew it.

This is a pigsty.

Your dear mother insisted I come here

And bring your big, beefy, bovine buns back home.

Okay. Be right with you, pop.

Well, old pal, till our paths cross again.

See you tomorrow, rock.

Hey, put some trousers on.

You crazy kid, you.

(Whimpering )

Ah, spunky, I'm glad that's over.

Now for a peaceful night's sleep.

Bev: all right, time to party, you animals.

Spunky, it's mrs. Bighead

And... And the nudists!

Ed: bev, what are all these freaks doing here?

Bev: oh, shut up, ed

And get your trousers off and join the party

'Cause we're going to boogie till the sun comes up.