02x18 - Arcade of Doom/Rodeotis

[bunniefuu]

- I'm just heading to the fields, duke.

I'll be back.

[Sheep bleating]

- Clear!

[Upbeat hoedown music]

- All right!

♪

- Rat-a-bamba!

- ♪ From the haystacks up to the hilltops ♪

♪ We go on dancing

- Whoo-hoo! Whoa!

Ow, ow! Okay, ow.

Ow!

- ♪ Do si do your partner now ♪

♪

♪ Party till the morning light ♪

♪

♪ Do si do and don't you know ♪

♪ It's just the way we animals roll ♪

[Motor roaring]

- Ha ha!

- Guys, we have found the promised land...

The grand opening of the new donk e. Cheez!

[Electronic noises]

[Glorious music]

[More electronic noises]

- Dude, I'm all over that skeeball.

- Dance-dance-dancin' machine, turbo deluxe edition!

- Ticket tornado booth!

- Laser tag!

- Kinds of pizza.

- [Screams]

Guys, get over here and check out the prize counter.

- Wow, a back scratcher.

- Yeah, I meant that.

All: zbox !

- Zbox !

- Extreme.

Say good-bye to your brain.

[Energetic techno music]

- Actual life pales in comparison to...

All: wow.

- That's the coolest game system ever.

- They're sold out everywhere.

- Guys, destiny has brought us here

To win that zbox for the barnyard.

- Earth to otis.

That thing costs, like, , tickets.

- Yeah, we'll never get that many.

- ,?

- Guys, did napoleon quit

When he needed , tickets to conquer france?

Did that other guy quit when he needed , tickets

To do that ,-ticket thing?

No!

I'm not saying it'll be easy.

I'm not saying--

- [Cries]

- Down, step, pivot, turn!

Up, down, swivel, turn!

Up, turn!

- Gotcha! Come here! Paper cut.

I don't care! Come to papa!

Greed is good. Yeah, baby.

Whoo-hoo! I'm cooking with gas.

- Hook sh*t. Ding!

Layup. Ding!

Header. Ding!

Blindfold. Buzz!

Doh! No more blindfold.

- ♪ The horsey in the field goes: neigh, neigh, neigh ♪

♪ Neigh, neigh, neigh

♪ Neigh, neigh, neigh

♪ The horsey in the field goes...

[Sultry music]

♪

♪ Neigh, neigh, neigh

♪

- So come here often?

- We're best pals.

- I was hoping we could be something more.

- Awesome.

- [Gasps] you mean it?

These lines usually get me pepper-sprayed.

- Otis, my sweet dance moves won us , tickets.

- Skeeball bringing in .

- I've got in this hand, another in my armpit,

And another in my--

- Yes, you have a lot of tickets; I get it.

Oh, sweet papery goodness.

At this rate, nothing will stop us.

Nothing!

[Ominous music]

- Sweet, a new donk e. Cheez restaurant

Where I can terrorize stupid kids

And play the latest stupid games.

- Terrorizing's fun.

- Yeah, that's awesome.

- I like "donkeys."

- Kids are stupid.

- Zip it, losers.

Now to formulate a clever plan to get some game tokens.

- [With english accent] oh, golden tokens.

I've saved my whole life

And can finally feel your magic clinking

In my tiny orphan fing--

- Give me your tokens!

- Heh, he took your tokens.

- You don't have any tokens!

- Have fun being broke.

- Here.

Now go off and win me some delectable tokens.

- Bye-bye, no-tokens.

- [Inhales] ah!

Oh, that's the stuff.

Ah.

- Otis, look.

I got this cool pocket mirror for two tickets.

- Pig, what are you thinking?

We need every ticket to go to the zbox.

Now, give me that.

I know there are many shiny things in the prize booth

That we want to put our hands on,

But we have to stay focused.

- Right, I'm focused. Nothing shiny.

[Bell rings]

Ooh, ringy.

- Pig! - Oh, sorry.

- Hey, everybody.

It's me, donk e. Cheez.

Hey, kids, enjoying that pizza?

Who wants to hear a song?

♪ Oh, I'm donk e. Cheez, and I love to play ♪

♪ I've got cool games we can play all-- ♪

Ah! Why?

- Ha ha!

Take that, stupid cheese donkey.

Thanks for the pizza, loser.

I need to carb up to power my awesome game skills,

'Cause I'm a winner.

- Got another tickets, otis.

- Sweet business!

We're already halfway to winning that zbox .

- [Gasps] zbox ?

[Romantic music]

♪

Animals: snotty boy!

- He wants to take our zbox on a naughty honeymoon.

Sorry, greasy fingers; that zbox is spoken for.

- That zbox is mine, stupid giant freak kid.

[All gasp]

Ha ha!

I smashed pizza in your face.

- I gathered.

- Otis, what if snotty boy gets those , tickets

Before we do?

- Not gonna happen.

Come on, guys; we got to play like we've never played before.

[All cheering]

- Otis is right.

- [Panting]

- Oof!

- Fan out, losers.

We gotta get , tickets before those other stupid kids.

- How are we gonna win , tickets?

- We're not gonna win them.

We're gonna steal them.

Now, get out there!

- You're the boss of us.

- You're the president of my brain.

- You are our master.

- You own my soul.

- Go, already!

- Look at all the marvelous prizes

I can bring back to the other children

At the orphanage.

- Heh heh!

- Got your tickets.

- See ya! - Bye!

- Got your stupid tickets, feathery kid.

- Hey, those are--

Hey, let me out.

What do you think you're doing?

Where are you going?

Hey, what's happening?

No, no, you wouldn't.

- Ha ha!

- Quite kidding around.

Ah! Ah! Hot cheese! Hot cheese!

- Tickets. Let's go again.

- Hey, pink kid and shrimpy kid.

- Yes?

- Uh-oh.

Waaa!

- Whoa! [Buzzer buzzes]

[Lively music]

♪

- Huh?

[Tempo increases]

[Screaming]

- Tickets.

, .

Yes!

Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want to play?

- I let you do that.

- Guys, I think we're almost there.

Guys?

- Get me out of here. Get me out of here!

- Get me out! This isn't funny.

Get me out of here now!

- [Screams]

- Ooh!

Ah!

- Oh, no, they've been snottified.

Looks like it's down to me and snotty.

- What about me?

- [Screaming]

- So after I bummed around europe for a few months,

I ended up at the barnyard.

- Happy birthday, superstar.

- Wow, gorgeous and a good listener.

Both: ,...

,.

Huh?

- Looks like a tie ball game.

- So it does.

- , More tickets wins that zbox.

- There's only one game

That awards the victor , tickets.

- So you mean--

- That's right, laser tag.

- Laser tag?

- [Boisterously] laser tag!

- He's close; I can smell him.

- Ha ha!

[Electricity crackling]

- You're gonna lose, gimungo boy.

- Hmm, you're right. I should just--

Laser blast!

- Stupid laser shocks.

- ♪ I'm donk e. Cheez, and I love to play ♪

♪ I've got cool--

- Ha ha!

Ow!

My--my stupid ankle.

Time-out. Time-out!

- Nice try, no-soul.

- No, no, for reals.

I think I dislocated my whatever bone.

[Cries]

- All right. All right.

Stop crying. Everyone's looking.

There's probably a donk e. Nurse around here somewhere.

Ah, smelly betrayal!

- Ha!

You showed mercy. You're weak.

That zbox is mine.

Say good-bye, stupid enlarged kid.

- Wait a minute.

Kid, family, nougat...

Suspension bridges...

Pig's pocket mirror!

- When you wake up in the emergency room,

Tell 'em donk e. Cheez sent ya.

- [Screams]

- There you go, my good man.

, Tickets.

One zbox, please.

- Oh, she's beautiful.

Oh, you smell like a rainbow.

[Whispers] I'll never leave you.

- Congratulations, sir, on your well-deserved win.

- Thanks, kid.

Conducting a transaction here, so if you'll excuse me,

I'd really appreciate it.

- Of course, the other orphans were so hoping

I would win it for them.

Well, I'd better start the -mile trek back

Through the wolf forest.

Ta-ta, then.

- [Groans] wait. Hold on. Wait.

Here. I guess you orphans need this more than we do.

- Gasp!

So shines a good deed in a weary world.

Bless you, sir. Bless you all!

[With brooklyn accent] hey, ma,

I conned another dumb chump out of his zbox, hey!

- Nice work, junior.

Get in the car.

[Tires screeching]

- Well, otis, you did the wrong thing.

- I sure did, abby.

I sure did.

- Yeah, it was actually pretty stupid.

- Yeah, I mean, you just gave it to him.

- I know what I did!

- Well, at least we still have my pocket mirror.

- Look, baby, I know this is all happening very fast,

But will you marry me?

- Kid, no!

Get that light out of her eyes!

It makes them go berserk.

- Crush! Smash! Destroy!

Crush! Smash! Destroy!

[People screaming]

- Why?

- So bowling tomorrow?

- Sounds like a plan. - I'm in.

- Works for me. - You know it.

- [Chuckles] what a day.

It'll make a wonderful story to tell our children.

More cider?

- Superstar, best, awesome!

Birthday, pals.

- [Sighs happily]

- Okay, folks, the name of the game

Is hot skunk, hot skunk.

Whoever's holding skunky when he wakes up

Get a face full of stink.

- Uh, otis, there's a truck coming.

- Nice try, abbs. You can't psych me out.

- Otis, she's not joking.

- Oh, please, peck.

How gullible do you think-- [horn honks]

Bad smell coma.

[Skunk warbles]

- Oh, you sure did, right in his face.

[Laughs]

- Hello. May i--

[Sultry music]

- ♪ Oh, baby

♪

- Guhhhh.

- Howdy, hon.

Name is bronco betsy,

And I'm scouting talent for my rodeo.

- Duh...

Nice eyes are you.

- Ugh. What did I miss?

- The farmer's in love again.

- Hopefully she'll stick around past the drool stage.

- Duh...

- You got any rodeo acts around here?

Maybe a farmhand who can bust a bronc

Or a monkey that rides a pig?

- Can't say as I do,

Though I'm a bit of a sharpsh**ter.

Mailbox at paces.

- Hey, farm--

- Okay. I'm gonna go now.

- Okay.

- Now we'll never have a new mommy.

- If only there was some way to help.

- Maybe there is.

Pip, get my horns.

Pig, glue my back up.

- Coming up. - You got it.

- Do I look like a fearsome bull?

- Can you tuck in the udders?

- I am.

Now to turn that dungaree-wearing couch jockey

Into a rootin', tootin' rodeo hunk.

- Go get 'em, otis!

What's happening?

- Maybe we can have lunch sometime.

- [Otis snorting]

Ah, mad bull!

- What in the hay?

- Whoa, whoa! Whoa!

Calmly.

Calm the ocean there, boy.

Whoa.

- Whoo-hoo, mister.

Why didn't you tell me you could ride like that?

- Um, I don't like to brag?

- You're my new starring act.

Be at the cow palace tomorrow at :.

You keep riding like that, and you might just win my heart.

- You hear that, strange bull I've never met before?

We're going to the rodeo!

- Whoops, wrong show.

I meant rodeo.

- Oh, you must be that new bull rider.

Go on in.

- Much obliged.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You folks aren't on my list.

- Uh, we're part of the show.

I'm a trick-ropin', full-figured cowgirl.

- And we're rodeo clowns.

- Yeah, I think he gets it.

[Sighs]

- What are you supposed to be?

- I'm a tiny monkey who rides a pig.

I mean-- [chatters like a monkey]

- Works for me. Go on in.

- Freddy!

[Fiddle music]

[Crowd cheering]

[Cheers and applause]

- Thank you kindly, folks.

Now, in a few minutes, we're going to bring out

The hard-ridingest bull jockey you ever did see,

A cowboy who calls himself...

The farmer!

[All talking]

- Hi, bronco betsy.

- Hey, farmer.

You can put your bull over in stall number one

Until you ride.

Just keep away from stall number two.

[Bull snarling]

That there's psycho,

The most violent bull in all rodeo.

Put every cowboy who ever rode him

In the hospital.

[All gasp]

- You smell nice.

- Oh, ain't nothin' but leather and sweat.

Good luck out there.

I'll be watching.

- Eeeeeeee!

In you go, bull.

I'm going to go to the little cowboys' room

To put on my sparkly chaps.

[Suspenseful music]

- Otis, this is so excitin'.

When do we get to go on?

[All talking excitedly]

- Guys, this isn't about us.

It's about getting bronco betsy to fall for the farmer.

And if I happen to become

A famous rodeo star in the process,

Well, that's a risk we'll have to take.

- Bull-riding event in ten minutes!

- [Nervously] okay, okay.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

How do I look?

- Still got them udders. - I sure do!

- Hey, new guy!

- Holy cow! - It's that crazy bull.

- He eats cowboys for breakfast.

- And accountants for a light snack at :!

- What? Come on.

Don't tell me you guys believe that story.

- Well, ain't it true?

- No, that's all tinsel and fake-'em-ups.

I'm just entertaining the nice people.

It's showbiz and "hey, look at me."

Am I right?

- You know, I thought so.

People don't realize how hard it is

For us professional show bulls to act all tough and mean.

- Otis, stay away from him.

- Yeah, you heard the rodeo lady.

- Oh, guys, it's fine.

I'm just going to talk a little shop here

With my bull buddy.

- Sure. Hey, I like you guys.

The pink one is funny.

The monkey is very cute.

I don't know what that thing is next to the duck.

Hey, guys, come here. Come here.

Here's some rodeo fun money.

Get something nice at the concession stand.

Here you go.

Here's some for you and some for the weird guy.

We're good friends now, right?

- Wow, thanks! - Awesome.

- What a great guy.

- So, psycho, got any crowd-pleasing tricks

You want to share with me before I go on?

- Oh, sure, that's good to do.

But before that, could you help me move my couch?

I had the miniature ponies over for fondue last night,

And it got a little rowdy.

You know what I'm saying.

- Ha, ha, those cheese-eating freaks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

Let me just come inside and trustingly enter your dwelling.

- Yeah, it's small, but it gets a nice light.

So, anyway, if you could just grab that end.

- Sure, no problem, new friend.

Just tell me where you want-- furniture betrayal!

- Not so cocky now, are you, new bull?

Let me tell you something, hot sh*t.

There's only room for one star in this rodeo.

And now that you're out of the way,

Tonight psycho rides again!

[Laughs evilly]

How are you doing there?

- [In high-pitched voice] not too good.

- [Laughs]

- Ow.

- Now, don't you worry, farmer.

This vet's the best there is.

How is he, doc?

- Well, this bull's got a-- oh, I've seen the pictures.

What is it when the bone is all--

You know, there's a big cr*ck and it hurts a lot?

- Broken.

- Right, yeah, that's it.

His leg's broken.

He won't be doing any riding tonight.

- Oh, that's a shame, hon.

And I so wanted to see you ride again,

Then possibly marry you.

But I guess it wasn't meant to be.

- W-w-wait, wait.

I'll ride any bull you got, even that psycho fella.

- No, farmer. That's crazy talk.

- Well, maybe I am crazy--

Crazy in love.

Let's do this thing!

Oh, here I go!

[All gasp]

[Crowd cheering]

- Hey, where's psycho?

We brought him some chocolate-covered raisins.

- [Gasps] otis, what happened to your leg?

- Psycho asked me to help him move his couch

And then busted my leg and said mean things,

And the farmer decided to ride him

To win the love of bronco betsy, and now he's doomed.

- I get his raisins!

I mean, after we get over the initial shock of this.

- Ow! Ow! Aye. Oh, good gracious.

Oh, whoa, whoa. Slow down.

- He'll pulverize his delicate old-man bones.

- I can't watch. - The horror.

Mmm, raisins.

- Pretty rodeo ladies.

- [Cackles]

[Snorting]

- We gotta save him!

Freddy, peck, get out there,

And try to distract psycho with some rodeo clownin'.

Abby, you try to rope psycho. - I'm on it.

- Pig and pip, do...

What a tiny monkey on a pig does.

- Hyah! Hyah!

- [Squeals]

- Ah, it's true what they say: do what you love.

Okay, show time. Here we go.

- Yoo hoo!

- Oh, mr. Psycho!

- Oh, it's the duck and the weird guy.

Well, as long as I'm out here...

Oh, the red cape anvil fake-out.

You guys are old-school. I love that.

- [Both screaming]

- How long do you think this will go on?

- Not sure. Keep screaming.

- [Laughs]

I'm here all week.

- Ha! Gotcha!

- Oh, the lasso on the horns.

That's cute.

So is this.

- Whoa!

- Hey, bully, check it out.

Tiny monkey riding a pig.

[Makes monkey noises]

- Ooh, the monkey's hurling fake raisin poop at me.

I'm so distracted!

Just kidding. No, I'm not.

- I got it! I got it!

[Groans]

- Now, where was i?

Oh, right, squishing the farmer.

- Looks like it's all up to me.

[Whistles]

- Huh? Oh, this guy.

He is a worthy adversary...

For me to squish!

[Train whistle blows]

Pop!

Milk me.

- [Groaning]

Huh? It's my cow otis.

He must have followed my scent here.

I'd better use my sharpshootin' skills to save him.

- Oh, no! - The farmer's a terrible sh*t.

- Otis is a goner.

- Gulp.

Let's see; his sh*t this morning pulled feet to the left,

So if I can just adjust his sh**ting angle degrees,

He should hit psycho dead on.

- Mail--

- Oh, come on.

- That also works.

[All cheering]

- First prize for taming the wildest bull in the rodeo

Goes to the farmer!

[Cheers and applause]

And that's not all you've won.

- Aw, ain't that nice?

- Looks like we're getting a new mommy.

[Freddy and peck screaming]

- Or maybe not.

- Yeah, not. - Don't think so.



[Kids laughing]