03x11 - Scared Straight

[bunniefuu]

SCARED
STRAIGHT

Miss Tress?

I just got off the phone

with the warden at the state penitentiary.

We're going to revive
the scared straight program,

and I need to pick out those students

who are most likely to run
into trouble with the law.

Do you want to see their files?

I don't need the files.
Bring me the year book.

That kid looks like a criminal.

Hey, I know!

Where are those two kids

that flushed every roll of toilet
paper in the entire school?

You mean Beavis and Butt-Head?

Yeah, that's them.
Beavis and Butt-Head.

What is this?

Yeah, what is this?

- Yes, yes, yes, yes.
- Yes, this is Judas Priest!

- This is gonna be cool!
- Yes!

How come Rob Halford
is dressed up like that?

- "Breaking the law".
- "Breaking the law".

Yeah, yeah.

They're cool!

- Look at his shoulders.
- Yeah.

Why does he keep doing
that with his shoulders?

Yeah, he is a
wild and crazy guy.

That was stupid.

"Breaking the law"
"Breaking the law"

You know...

It's, like, I still like Judas Priest
and everything but...

This really sucks.

Yeah, it's, like, there's all
this stuff that just sucks.

Yeah.

- Boy, this really sucks.
- Yeah, yeah.

- I don't understand this. It just sucks.
- Yeah.

Use a lot of filthy language.

That's the only way to get
kids attention these days.

Hey, and do that thing with
your eye and your leg.

And there'll may be
a conjugal visiting for you.

All right, listen up
you little #&?@*#!

You stinken #&?@*#

that have the freedom that I'd k*ll for,
but you little #&?@*#

look like that type that #&?@*# it up!

What are your names, punks?

His is Beavis.

Yeah, and he is Butt-Head.

Beaver and Butt-Hole, how nice.

Oh, you boys will love it
here in the slammer.

Do you know why they call
it the slammer, Butt-hole?

Oh, so you still think you're bad, huh?

Would you wanna know what "bad" is?

"Bad" is getting shot
twelve times in the legs

- trying to escape.
- Whoa.

"Bad" is getting a fork stuck
in your eye!

So do you still
think you're bad?

Huh?

I think I got to go the bathroom, "bad".

Hey, check it out Butt-Head,
that's that word.

Yeah.

That's that word that
they put on bathrooms.

Yeah. It must mean, like,
"crap," or something.

Yeah.

And there's that word again.

- Crap is singing.
- Yeah, yeah.

Crap is on the telephone.

Yeah.

This turd found a guitar.

And this piece of crap
is playing the drum. Yeah.

Dillweed.

He's got one of those
attention headaches.

Yeah.

He's got an
attention headache this big.

Sometimes, like, when I get a headache,

it's like, I hit myself
in the head really hard,

and it's, like, it just
makes it hurt worse.

You're pretty stupid, Beavis.

Next time I have a headache,
I'd like to try hitting you in the head.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That would be cool.

Look at it,
that little butt.

Look at him.
Look at him.

You'll be good.

No thanks.
That won't be necessary.

Whoa! Cool tattoo dude!

You into Iron Maiden?

Yeah man, they are k*ller.

Me too, man.

Maiden rules!

Well, I get it's time to
check on those two kids.

They oughta be screaming to get out by now.

Oh, no!
What are they doing to them?

Don't leave any marks on them!

"I'm a free man".

"And my blood is my own now".

Hey, what the hell are you doing?

Hey look,
it's that warden dude.

I'm afraid it's time to go boys.

No way!

That sucks.

You guys are cool.

If we ever get back here,
we have to party again.

And if you ever get out,
look us up.

Cool.

You know something? I think
we'll see those boys again.

- Check it out, a warning!
- Yeah.

That means they're
gonna do something cool.

Yeah, yeah.
Like that fire.

Fire, fire, fire!
Fire! Fire! Fire!

Whoa.

- She's almost naked!
- Yeah, yeah.

And she has nails
coming out of her arms.

Ooh baby.

Come to Butt-Head!

This chick's a good singer 'cause
she hardly wears any clothes.

Yeah, yeah.

And she's holding a b*mb!

Chicks are cool.

This is gonna be cool!

- Yes!
- Cool!

- Check it out! This is cool.
- Yeah, yeah!

Yeah.

If our school bus did that,

I'd go to school all the time.

Yeah. Me too.

This video has, like,

- explosions and, like, half-naked chicks.
- Yeah.

- And fire!
- Yeah.

And TVs getting smashed.

Screaming. It's got something for everyone.

Yeah, yeah.

- Yes! Yes!
- Yes! Yes!

- Yes!
- Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!

Now, that really was cool!

Yeah.

Whoa! Cool!
Those guys are going inside.

We're there dude.

Those guys will really be
surprised to see us again.

Prison's cool.

Yeah.

This is horrible.

No, it's not!
It's not so bad.

- Something's wrong with these guys.
- Yeah, yeah.

- It's like, they're not trying very hard.
- Yeah.

And they're making
lots of mistakes.

Yeah.

I bet I could take
this guy in a fight.

- Yeah.
- I could kick his butt!

This is the only guy that's ever been
in a video that you could kick his ass.

No way, Butt-Head.

I could kick Vince Neil's ass too.

Okay, Beavis.

A real punk rock girl
would eat this guy alive.

Yeah, yeah! She'd spit out
his brains! And his guts!

Yeah!