03x12 - Eating Contest

[bunniefuu]

EATING CONTEST

This was no accidental
disembowelment.

This man was m*rder*d.

Say, does this house
have a refrigerator?

Come on down to the black forest
Oktoberfest house. The wurst & weenies.

For our annual best of the
wurst charity brought wurst eating contest.

Be the guy or gal who
consumes the most bratwurst

and walk off for the keys
to this 1988 mostly Chevy Cavalier.

Best of all the proceeds go to
save the frogs foundation.

Whoa! We can win a car!

Yeah. Just for eating.

We're there, dude.

- Boner is pretty cool sometimes.
- Yeah.

That's because he
has a cool name.

I bet when he was little,
his mom used to say...

- "Boner, come to dinner!"
- Yeah, yeah.

She'd say:
"Boner! Boner!"

Time for dinner!

We're having beanies
and weenies!

And tacos, and nachos!
And extra cheese!"

Then in the morning, she'd like
turn to Boner's dad, and say...

- "Is Boner up yet?"
- Yeah, yeah.

"Boner! Boner!
Get up, Boner!"

And then, like, when his
dad went to P.T.A. meetings...

the teachers would say:
"Your son sure does sing well".

And he'd say:
"That's my Boner".

Yeah.

Boner!

Yeah.

That's a cool name.

You know who has a
really stupid name though?

- The Edge.
- Yeah, yeah.

"The Edge".

- What is that?
- That's stupid.

This is it, dude.

Welcome to the BlackForest Oktoberfest.
Wurst & weenies.

Can I help you?

- We're here for the contest.
- Yeah. We want to eat bratwurst.

Yeah.

And then we want that car.

Well, you're a little late,
step on up to the table.

Look.

Sausage eaters.

They're gonna lose.

Okay boys,
you can get to it.

Hey, I'm not sitting
next to those guys.

Yeah. Where's the bratwurst?

What do you think this is,
Don Johnson's breakfast links?

Hey mom, dad, look!
It's Beavis and Butt-Head.

I didn't know you guys
were in bratwurst eating contest.

What are you doing here?

- Oh, we come every year.
- Go fellas, go!

Beavis and Butt-Head in the contest?
Wait until I tell to kids in school!

I'll kick your ass.

Yeah.

I'd never think I find such sorry

bratwursty eatin'
in one of my restaurants!

You men aren't trying!

Kind of a lame bunch
this year, Mr. Waltham.

Can you do better, yankee?

This isn't eating
bratwurst!

This is eating
bratwurst.

Cool!

Anyway, I just coming to
collect the entry fees.

And then I'll do it in front of my
other 463 Blackforest

Oktoberfest o' wurst & weenies franchises.

I love this land!

- Entry fees?
- Yeah.

No.

Might as well start with
you youngsters, eh?

Coff off the thing, Ja?

Alice in Chains rules!

This isn't Alice in Chains,
dumbass!

These are this dudes that,
like, sound like Alice in Chains.

Oh yeah.

That would be cool if, like, every single
band sounded just like Alice in Chains.

Yeah, yeah. Then everything
would be, like, cool all the time.

Yeah.

We could roam the Earth among
all that which is cool.

Hey Butt-Head, what's
that big yellow thing?

That's the moon, fartknocker.

The moon is cool!

- These guys kick butt.
- Yeah, yeah

They're cool.

Alice in Chains rules.

Shut up, Beavis. This isn't
Alice in Chains, dillweed!

Oh yeah.

All right, you boys are doing
a fine job working off those entry fees.

Now, make sure the frogs
are fed and watered

and wipe down the ones
whose bumps look irritated.

And then you can take a five minute
break before tad pool warming.

Do you think frogs really like this stuff?

They look like reconstituted feces.

I think they might
wanna try this.

Here froggy.

Got a nice big
juicy one.

Eat! Swallow!
Swallow!

- Swallow! Swallow!
- That was cool.

This dude used to be the
lead singer for Van Halen.

- They got that video, "Right Now."
- Yeah.

That's that video with all those

- words on the screen.
- Yeah, like, right now...

- David wishes he had his old job back.
- Yeah.

Like, right now, David is planning
to k*ll Sammy Hagar.

Right now, David is trying to
convince some chick

that he used to be the
lead singer for Van Halen.

Yeah, yeah.

Fire! Fire! Fire

Yeah.

Hey, where's Tito?

This dude dances
like John Cougar Mallomar.

- But he doesn't suck as much.
- Yeah.

- John Cougar Melon Balls really suck!
- Yeah.

John Cougar Military Camp.

The one cool thing
about this dude

is that he always has chicks
with big thingies in his videos.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!