04x17 - Figure Drawing

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Beavis and Butt-Head". Aired: March 8, 1993 – present.*
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Adult animated series follows Beavis and Butt-Head, both voiced by Judge, a pair of teenage slackers characterized by their apathy, lack of intelligence, lowbrow humor, and love for hard rock and heavy metal music.
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04x17 - Figure Drawing

Post by bunniefuu »

FIGURE DRAWING

LEARNING CENTRAL

Check it out, Butt-Head.

Maybe that dude's handing out those
flyers with those naked chicks on them.

- Beavis, that's, like, Mr. Van Driessen.
- Cool.

l didn't know he worked
at one of those strip joints.

Hey, Beavis and Butt-Head.
Welcome to Learning Central.

Have you seen our free catalogue?

He said "log".

This is a great opportunity for you
guys to broaden your horizons.

I'm teaching a seminar on
aromatherapy, or perhaps

you boys might be interested
in one of our classes

on art, or photography,
or popular music.

No thanks.

We already went
to school today, remember?

Yeah, we're on our way to, like,
get some nachos and stuff. Yeah.

Oh, what luck. I was just
nibbling on some nachos myself.

Since it's orientation night,
we also have free snacks inside.

- Free? Nachos?
- Cool.

- Better not be those crappy blue chips.
- Yeah.

Those drums sound cool.

Shut up, Beavis.

I wonder what that
drummer's listening to.

He's probably
listening to Pantera.

Yeah.

Okay dude, get started.

Put down your arms and start singing!

Rock!

Where do these guys
get these shiny pants?

Yeah, really. I went into a store
once and asked for some shiny pants,

and they kicked my ass out of there.

I think you, like, just take regular pants
and you, like, have them shined.

Oh really? Yeah but, I do shine my pants.

You said douche.

Really?

I douche-ine my pants.

- This part of the song sucks.
- Yeah, really.

These guys need to just
concentrate on rocking.

Yeah, really. Rock! Rock!

Yeah. That's more like it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah! There you go.

This guy keeps, like,
stumbling around and stuff.

I don't think he's having
a very good day.

I think he's just drunk off his ass.

Hey, get your hand off
his keyboard, butthole!

Yeah. These guys, like,
need to practice more.

They weren't very well
prepared for this video.

Thank you very much,
we're Nine Inch Nails.

Good night!

FIGURE DRAWING CLASS

"You draw ass".

- Now, that would be a cool class.
- Yeah. Yeah.

There is nothing I like to draw
more than a female nude.

Whoa! Did you hear that?

That dumbass actually believed our sign.

Yeah. No wonder these old people
are still in school. They're stupid!

- All changed.
- So, you're ready to bare it all

- for another batch of strangers?
- Oh, you!

You know, l actually enjoy posing nude
for bright young artists.

Whoa! Hey Butt-Head, did you
hear that? She's gonna, like, get naked.

Dude, we have the power supreme.

This is a class about life and shadow,

a class about form and texture,
and our object of interpretation

- is the skin of a nude model.
- Yes! - Cool.

Well, it's nice to
see such enthusiasm.

I'd like to get a feel for
your individual talents

by bringing up our first model
of the semester. Christine?

You can see her boobs.

This is the coolest class ever.

Hey dumbass, you're blocking my view.

- How do you expect me to learn anything?
- Yeah, butt-munch.

Listen, boys, this is a drawing class.
Either you begin drawing immediately,

or you leave this classroom immediately.

No.

Don't make us leave, please.

Please don't make us
stand up right now.

You know, 'cause, like,
you're a guy, right?

Yeah. Our pencils are hard.

What pencils? l don't even
see any drawing materials.

We're just gonna, like, draw her
when we get home and stuff.

Well, if you're gonna stay in this class,
you need to begin drawing. Here.

I expect you to bring your own next time.
Now, you better impress the hell out of me!

MEAT ME AFTUR KLASS
BUTT-HEAD

- I think you dropped something.
- Yeah, pick it up.

No Beavis, make her
thingies bigger. Like this.

Oh, yeah. That's cool.

Okay, class. I have an idea. Why
don't we take a break right now?

In fact, l think there are
tacos and nachos in the hallway.

You boys not getting up
for the free tacos?

We're just gonna, like,
sit here a little while longer.

Yeah. You know, it's like, there's gonna
be a lot of people out there, and it's like,

you know, we just want
everything to calm down.

Yeah. I have a stiffy.

Butt-Head... Butt-Head, change the channel.

No.

- This might be cool.
- I know Butt-Head,

I know, it might be cool, but it's like, it's
gonna give me a seizure, I can tell.

- It's too fast.
- Cool!

- This is gonna be cool!
- Come on, Butt-Head.

Come on Butt-Head!

That ruled!

I think this is like, music for,
like, people who surf and stuff.

You mean, like, the Butthole Surfers?

Yeah. I guess.

So, uh, do you mean like,
this guy plays music,

like, for the Butthole
Surfers to listen to?

Yeah.

So like, this guy, like,
makes albums and videos

and like, the only people who ever, like,
buy them are, like, the Butthole Surfers

and like, there is only,
like, four guys, and like...

Shut up, Beavis! I don't know.

And what's more,
I don't give a rat's ass.

You shut up, Butt-Head.

You know, I was just, like, wondering,
you know, like, what's going on here.

That's all.
Here it comes!

That's pretty cool, Beavis.
I bet you could get,

like, chicks,
if you did it all the time.

Okay, class.

Boy, those were some good
tacos, huh?

Now, we're going to
bring out another model.

Bring her out!

Michael?

Tacos? Did he say there was
some tacos out in the hallway?

Yeah. Wonder if there's any left.

I'm not feeling too good.

Yeah.

I'm not gonna draw
some dude's schlong.

These guys aren't even
playing their instruments.

Yeah, yeah. Their fingers
aren't even moving.

What a bunch of fartknockers!

You mean fakers, Beavis.

Yeah, they're fakers, but like,
they're fartknockers, too.

Hey Butt-Head. Is there
a chick in this band?

- Well, I think that bass player has boobs.
- Yeah yeah, yeah, that's what I mean.

Well, there's boobs, but
I can't tell if it's a chick.

Seems like all these bands now
have, like, chick bass players.

Wait a minute! That's not a chick.

That's a puppet.

These are all puppets!

Yeah, yeah. Uh, yeah.

Hey Butt-Head, I have
a puppet. Check this out.

Hello everybody! We're
gonna have fun today!

Dammit, Beavis!

- Pull your pants up!
- Oh yeah. Sorry.

- Is this, like, about the mail?
- I think so. Where does the mail go?

I think it, like, goes down
into these pipes underground.

- Oh, really? Then where does it go?
- I think it, like, goes to the North Pole.

And then they, like, put a stamp on it,
and then it goes back to your house.

Really? Thanks, Butt-Head.
You're interesting.
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