06x19 - Shopping List

[bunniefuu]

[both chuckling]

[bluesy rock music]

♪ ♪

- Damn it, what's taking so long?

- Beavis, you need to, like, be patient and stuff.

- Oh, yeah.

Ah.

Yeah, that's better.

- It's about time, dude.

- Sorry, fellas.

I was trying to take care of a little business

back in the latrine.

Sure wish I could tell you not to go in there,

but old TA is having a little trouble cranking

the cables these days.

- [chuckling]

You were taking a dump.

[both chuckling]

- Yeah.

Plop!

[both chuckling]

- Oh, I wish.

Listen, I need you to do me a little favor.

As you can see, I got the bum wheel.

Had a little accident in the garden yesterday.

And well, with the missus up in Oaklawn seeing her Aunt Kay,

I'm gonna need you to go down to the drug and discount

and get my pills.

And here's a list of some other things I need,

Prep H, fiber, cigs, beer nuts, turkey TV dinner.

- Uh, would you like some more toilet paper, sir?

- Yeah.

Teepee for your bunghole.

[both chuckling]

- Well, as a matter of fact I would.

Just make sure you get the soft kind.

And go ahead and pick up something for yourselves too.

- Cool. - Yeah.

[both chuckling]

Plop.

[both chuckling]

[upbeat funky music]

- Oh, check it out.

It's Paula Abdullah.

- Yeah.

This is like every outfit she's ever had on in a video.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

Heh.

Eh, I'm gonna go to the kitchen.

- Why?

- Because I have to take a leak.

- Uh, you mean the bathroom, Beavis.

- Um, oh, yeah.

It doesn't really matter.

- You should stick around, Beavis, because I think like,

later on you can see her epidermis.

- Um, well, OK, maybe I'll stick around

for a couple of minutes maybe.

[chuckling]

- ♪ Sexy feelings just come over me ♪

- Um, I thought you said we were gonna see

her epra-spermis.

- Uh, no.

But your epidermis is showing.

- What?

No way.

Are you talking about my nut sack?

- You don't know what it is.

And everyone can see it.

- Shut up.

You're epra-spermis is showing,

and your nads are, too, bunghole.

- I've had enough of this crap.

I'm gonna go to the kitchen.

- ♪ Crazy cool, crazy cool with you ♪

♪ In this groove ♪

- Hey, Beavis get back in here.

I just saw something cool.

- ♪ Hey, I'm cool, crazy cool ♪

♪ You're crazy cool with me ♪

- Whoa, Beavis, get back in here!

Her pants are hiked up her butt!

- Wow, where!

- Dumbass.

[chuckling]

Hey, Beavis.

Check it out.

Spermicidal lubricant with a reservoir tip.

Ribbed for her pleasure.

- Yeah, yeah, I could use some of those.

Ah.

[both chuckling]

Boing!

- Come on, butt-munch.

We gotta like, get Anderson's stuff.

- Oh, yeah.

- Uh, OK.

Uh.

Per-ah.

Per. Per.

Uh.

Fibe-- fibe-- uh.

Drizzle?

- Um, I think we need to get some of this.

- Uh, oh yeah, we do.

- Yep, can never have too much of that.

Yeah.

One of these.

Shopping rules!

- Uh, you got a prescription there, son?

- Uh, I guess.

- Yeah, um, we're supposed to pick up some dr*gs.

- Well, maybe I better have a look at that, huh?

- Yeah, maybe you better.

- Ah, yes, Tom Anderson.

How's he doing anyway?

- He's having butt problems.

- Yeah, me too.

I poop too much.

- That's too bad.

Well, this is gonna take a few minutes.

Why don't you go ahead and finish up.

I'll have it ready when you're done, OK?

- Yeah, cool.

Let's go buy some more stuff.

- Yeah.

Uh, where do you keep the p*rn?

[chuckling]

- [chuckling]

A little bit of this.

Some of these.

[chuckling]

- Whoa, this is cool.

Sluts laying all over motorcycles.

- Really?

You should buy it.

Yeah. [chuckling]

- Uh, oh yeah.

[chuckling]

- Hey, check it out.

We're buying rubbers.

See?

- Yeah.

[chuckling]

- Hi.

- Hey, baby.

[chuckling]

- This isn't enough money.

- Uh, really?

- You're gonna have to give me more money

or else put some things back.

- No way!

- Look, I don't have time for this.

You're gonna have to put some items back.

- Uh.

- Come on, let's go, while we're young.

- Uh, OK, let's see.

Here, take this one.

- Yeah, that's for your butt.

- Keep going.

Keep going.

- Uh, OK.

- Um, you can have this too.

- Yeah.

And this.

- Here.

He probably has some napkins or paper towels.

[chuckling]

[sprightly music]

- Ooh. [both chuckling]

- Yeah. - Hey, baby.

- Um, this chick looks familiar.

- Uh.

Oh, yeah.

She was in that movie.

- Oh, yeah, yeah, that movie, um-- it was the second one.

The second one of that first one where that guy was choking

his chicken on that rock.

- Yeah, yeah.

[both chuckling]

- Oh my god!

Did you see that!

- I sure did.

And it was cool.

- Ahh!

I've never seen anything like that on TV.

- ♪ He's the prophet ♪

- She was rubbing her butt!

- This kicks ass!

- Oh, uh! Oh!

Oh my god!

She's stark-raving naked!

- Yeah.

- ♪ A heart is breaking ♪ - You could see everything.

- ♪ I can hear it ♪

- Oh, boy, this is exciting. Yeah.

[both chuckling]

Yeah, this is action-packed.

[both chuckling]

- ♪ Hey there, Mr. Talk Too Much ♪

- I like this song.

- ♪ What's in store for us now? ♪

[both chuckling]

- Whoa, it's Death.

- Yeah, yeah.

If Death came over to my house, I'd just like kick,

him in the nads and run away.

Yeah.

- Death doesn't have nads, Beavis.

- Oh, yeah.

- ♪ I don't know how ♪

I bet his sack like, shriveled up like a little raisin.

- Ew, that's disgusting, Beavis.

- ♪ I don't know how to speak to you ♪

- That spider's gonna do her.

- No way!

Really?

- Yeah.

- Uh! She's naked again!

- Ooh, yeah, yeah.

- Ooh.

- Oh, you can see her rump!

- ♪ I don't know how to ♪

- Her what?

- Her rump.

- You mean her butt, Beavis?

- No, no, no, her rump.

- Ooh.

- That's the part off to the side.

- It's called a butt, Beavis.

- Oh, yeah, sorry.

I just get tired of saying butt sometimes, you know,

thought I'd throw a rump in.

- ♪ The gentleman who fell before the court ♪

- [chuckling]

Anderson was cool to let us buy this stuff.

- Yeah.

- [chuckling]

- Yeah.

Whoa, check it out, Butt-Head.

This chick has three boobs.

- That's pretty cool.

How many butts does she have?

- I don't know.

Oh, wait a minute, that's her stomach.

[chuckling]

- Hello, boys, is that you?

Hello?

Well, damn it, damn it.

What in the hell's taking so long?

Boys?

[rock music]

[light upbeat music]

- ♪ In the morning ♪

- Whoa, check it out, he's sleeping with a pig.

- Uh, yeah, so what, Beavis?

- I'm just trying to make conversation, bunghole.

- Uh, well, why don't you make it somewhere else, bungwipe?

[chuckling]

- ♪ Today is flat ♪

- You know what this dude looks like?

This dude looks like that chick, that tennis

player, Monica Seles.

Yeah.

[chuckling]

- How come you know so much about tennis all of a sudden?

- ♪ In the morning ♪

- Um, well, you know, I like to watch the, um--

the Wilbumdon.

- ♪ Feeling half right ♪

Oh, and also, um, there's this chick.

And her name is Stiffy.

- ♪ Ignore my condition ♪

[both chuckling]

- Oh, yeah, Stiffy Graf.

[both chuckling]

That's cool.

- Yeah.

Whoa, um, you know this part right here,

um, this was already in another video.

What was it?

Um.

♪ Stand in the place where you live ♪

Yeah, that's what this was in.

- Uh, yeah, I think everything in this video

was in another video.

- Um, oh, yeah, yeah.

It's like everything you see in this video

was in another video.

- ♪ Appearing normal ♪

- Everything sucks.

[both chuckling]

- ♪ Another isolated incident ♪

- Yeah.